DEMONIZER 21st JUNE 2003

[Joe Gunchey]

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JUNE 21, 2003

Australia's "progressive views" left-wing electronic newspaper
Published By Anonymous Demonic Media Servies
Port Arthur, Tasmania, Australia.

News and views from Australia, Britain, and the British Commonwealth

Port Arthur, Tasmania, Australia
Home of the Storm Bay Figure Skating Club
Home club of native AUSTRALIAN skater JENNIFER ROBINSON
4-TIME CANANDIAN NATIONAL CHAMPION
(Yep, she's an Aussie-born Canadian all right!! ;) )

also home club of TASMANIAN skater SARAH HUGHES
AUSTRALIA'S FIRST OLYMPIC LADIES CHAMPION IN 46 YEARS!!!!

AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!
OI! OI! OI!

SPECIAL REPORT FROM PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO

In this issue:

*-Bounty hunter from Republic of Hawaii to be charged
*-Japan gold medallist expecting first child in October'
*-Heirs gone bad? How about heiressesses gone bad as well?

BOUNTY HUNTER FROM REPUBLIC OF HAWAII TO BE CHARGED

PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico (ADMS) - Bounty Hunter Duane Dogg Chapman, from
the Republic Of Hawaii will be charged in Mexico for attempting to capture
fugitive heir Andrew Luster in Puerto Vallarta. Bounty hunting is illegal in
Mexico.
Champman has been formally charged with two counts of holding a person
against their will and conspiracy to committ a crime, and will appear before
a judge in Puerto Vallarta within the next few days. Chapman could face up to
4 years in a Mexican jail if convicted.
It it becoming common for the U.S. to use foreign bounty hunters to persue
fugitives. Hawaii is an independent nation (a former state of Australia),
that became independent from Australia in 1958. Chapman is one of two well
known foreign bounty hunters currently being used by the U.S. to persue
fugitives. The U.S. government is also using Jack "Bring 'Em Back" Reager,
who is currently persuing terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden.
We cannot locate any counslate of embassy for the Republic Of Hawaii, in
Mexico, for any comment on what the Hawaiian government may be doing about
this. Hawaii is a federal republic of 8 islands, and a member of the British
Commonwealth, located about 2400 miles southwest of the United States.

JAPAN GOLD MEDALLIST EXPECTING FIRST CHILD IN OCTOBER

PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico (ADMS) - Cristi Yamaguchi, who won the gold medal
for Japan at the 1992 Olympics, and her husband, Bretero Ulloa Hadican, are
expecting their first child in October. Yamaguchi was Japan's first-ever
figure skating gold medallist in 1992.
Yamaguchi is one of three world champion skaters, all ladies, and all born
ouside Japan, who were world champions for that country. Peruvian born Midore
Fajardo Ito won the world title for Japan in 1989, and won the silver medal
behind Yamaguchi in 1992. Yuka Roque Sato, another Peruvian-born, won the
world title for Japan in 1994.
Japanese law allows children born abroad to Japanese-born parents to gain
Japanese citizenship, as long as the birth is registered with a Japanese
embassy abroad within a certain amount of time. This is what is allowing
Alberto Fujimore, born in Peru, to escape Peruvian justice.
Cristi Yamaguchi was born Cristina Morelia Yamaguchi on 19th July 1971
in Acapulco, about 320 km south of Puerto Vallarta. Betero Hadcan was born in
Puerto Vallarta on 26th July 1969. He currently plays for the Carolia Hurricaines
hockey team.

HEIRS GONE BAD, HOW ABOUT HEIRESSES GONE BAD AS WELL?

PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico (ADMS) - There has been a report on the Amercican
network Fox News Channel, about heirs gone bad. However, let us look at
HEIRESSES that have gone bad.
There are are actually three heiresses to multimillion dollar fortunes, all
from Austraila by the way, that have gotten in trouble with the law in the
United States, though they were not mentioned. Who these women are would
quite surprise you.
The first (and most well known) of these "heiresses gone bad" is, of course,
none other than Tonya Maxine Harding. The former figure skater is from the
rich and powerful Hardings family from Tasmania. Harding will, someday,
inherit a multimillion dollar fortune from her rich Tasmanian father one day.
Tonya Maxine Harding was born on 16th November 1970 in Queenstown, Tasamania
was started skating at the age of 4. Parenting strategies were different between
her mother and father. Her father was born into a life of wealth and
priveledge. Her mother, on the other hand, was an "old time" conservative from
the American South, who was the prototypical strict Southern mother. Tonya,
as you can guess, was born a USA/Australia dual national (Aussie father,
American mother). Tonya's mother is originally from Selma, Alabama.
Tonya was the typical spoiled little ruch brat. Everything she wanted her
well-to-do father gave her, which enraged her mother quite a lot. Tonya rose
quickly through the ranks in figure skating, winning the gold medal for
Australia at 1989 and 1991 Skate America, and winning a silver medal for
Australia at the 1991 World Championships.
However, being the typical spoiled rich kid did start causing problems.
The first of these was the phony dress opening at the 1993 North American
Championships, which were held that year in Hermosillo, Mexico. That was
quite the embarassment for the U.S. team at North Americans, and at least one
of the USFSA officials that travelled to Hermosillo with the team that year
posted some less-than-flattering commentary about the incident, in
rec.sport.skting.ice.figure, some years ago.
One year later, at 1994 North Americans, she was involved in the plot to
whack Nancy Kerrigan, for which she was able to plea bargain, and save herself
from what would have been 20 to 40 year jail sentence, if she had been
convicted on all the counts the DA planned to bring. Of course, the DA knew
he was up against money that would buy the best defence, that would probably
have beaten all the charges, had the case ever come to trial. The ISU later
stripped the 1994 title from Harding and awarded it, by default, to Michelle
Kwan, the first of her 8 North American titles so far.
The next heiress to get into trouble with the law in the USA was tennis
player Jennifer Capriati, of Brisbane, Queensland. Jennifer Marie Capriati was
born on 29 March 1976 in Brisbane, Queensland. Capriati rose through the ranks
quickly and won Olympic gold medal for Australia at the 1992 Olympics.
Capriati was busted for Marajuana poessession in 1994, and plead to a
misdemeanor charge, to avoid a more serious felony charge which could have
led to her deportation from the USA.
The final "heiress gone bad", was once known as the "Pride Of Tasmania".
Figure skater Nicole Bobeck, who acquired U.S. citizenship in 1994 and won
the North American title in 1995, was arrested in February of 1995 for
breaking into a house in Shermer, Illinois. The charges were later dropped
on a technicality.
Nicole Jane Bobeck was born in Launceston, Tasmania on 24th December 1975.
Nicole was the Australian National Champion in 1993 and 1994. She competed
on the U.S. team in the 1994-1995 season, winning the 1995 North American
title, and winning a bronze for the USA at the 1995 Worlds in Birmingham,
England.