After the FAQ: A PhD in Tolkienology
Bran Mak Muffin
PhD in Tolkienology to post?" got me thinking. What would it take for NG
regulars to bestow a PhD in Tolkienology on a member of the NG? Obviously,
an *extreme* familiarity with Hob/LotR/Sil is necessary. And I suppose,
since it's Tolkienology, not Middle-Earth-ology, a very thorough
understanding of HoME, UT and Letters.
I've been trying to rate my own level of Tolkienology. I certainly don't
come close to a PhD, not even a Masters (I'm using U.S. degrees). I'm
thinking I have what we in the U.S. call an Associate's degree, which is
two years of college past the 12 years of primary and secondary education
(e.g., two years after high school). I have a pretty good grasp of the
basics such as the name of who said "Don't meddle in the affairs of
wizards ...," Elrond's sons' names (although I might get the spelling
wrong), what color was the Mouth's helm, and was it lofty, you know, stuff
like that. I can go a bit deeper regarding LotR, such as who was the
lieutenant of Morgul, what were Minas Morgul's and Minas Tirith's original
names, Theoden's son's name. A bit deeper, but not much. Other stuff I have
to look up (or ask on the NG).
Noel Q. von Schneiffel
>
> I've been trying to rate my own level of Tolkienology. I certainly don't
> come close to a PhD, not even a Masters (I'm using U.S. degrees). I'm
> thinking I have what we in the U.S. call an Associate's degree, which is
> two years of college past the 12 years of primary and secondary education
> (e.g., two years after high school). I have a pretty good grasp of the
> basics such as the name of who said "Don't meddle in the affairs of
> wizards ...," Elrond's sons' names (although I might get the spelling
> wrong), what color was the Mouth's helm, and was it lofty, you know, stuff
> like that. I can go a bit deeper regarding LotR, such as who was the
> lieutenant of Morgul, what were Minas Morgul's and Minas Tirith's original
> names, Theoden's son's name. A bit deeper, but not much. Other stuff I have
> to look up (or ask on the NG).
I actually do have two PhDs in Contemporary and Historical
Tolkienology. I did these in my spare time when I still worked
actively as a prophet, to relax between sermons. My theses were:
- Historical Tolkienology: A comparison between J.R.R. Tolkien's
earliest drafts for Rohirric names and the mythologies of Burmese
minority peoples, with special regard to creation myths of the Karen
and Padaung.
- Contemporary Tolkienology: The strategic setup of Morgoth's forces
in the attack on Gondolin and its influence on modern warfare,
especially the Second Gulf War. Are Blackhawks really modeled on
Balrogs?
I'm proud to say that, despite my rather easy-going approach to these
(I wrote them both on one Friday afternoon while nude women massaged
my feet) they have become classics in their respective fields. The
University of Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky actually invited me to teach
Tolkienology there, but I refused, mainly because I was living in
Ushuaia at that time and the daily swim over the Pacific Ocean would
have tired me in the long run.
Noel Q. von Schneiffel
Bran Mak Muffin
10 Sep 2007 19:57:35 GMT, "Noel Q. von Schneiffel"
<ma...@sheepofstone.de> wrote:
<snip>
> I'm proud to say that, despite my rather easy-going approach to these
> (I wrote them both on one Friday afternoon while nude women massaged
> my feet) they have become classics in their respective fields. The
> University of Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky actually invited me to teach
> Tolkienology there, but I refused, mainly because I was living in
> Ushuaia at that time and the daily swim over the Pacific Ocean would
> have tired me in the long run.
I think you were played for a fool. I don't think there is such a
university. Did they ask you to pay any sort of fee in advance? That's a
bad sign. Unless it's from a business man in Nigeria trying to relocate
millions of dollars. That's usually a good bet. That's how I made my first
trillion, by the way. As we speak, I'm buying Jupiter and renaming it
"Steve."
Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III
> Innews:1189454255.8...@y42g2000hsy.googlegroups.com, on Mon,
> 10 Sep 2007 19:57:35 GMT, "Noel Q. von Schneiffel"
>
>
> <snip>
>
> > I'm proud to say that, despite my rather easy-going approach to these
> > (I wrote them both on one Friday afternoon while nude women massaged
> > my feet) they have become classics in their respective fields. The
> > University of Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky actually invited me to teach
> > Tolkienology there, but I refused, mainly because I was living in
> > Ushuaia at that time and the daily swim over the Pacific Ocean would
> > have tired me in the long run.
>
> I think you were played for a fool. I don't think there is such a
> university. Did they ask you to pay any sort of fee in advance? That's a
> bad sign. Unless it's from a business man in Nigeria trying to relocate
> millions of dollars. That's usually a good bet. That's how I made my first
> trillion, by the way. As we speak, I'm buying Jupiter and renaming it
> "Steve."
You should be aware that the solar system was deeded by Tolkien to
MORAMBAR UDUNVAGOR as his personal property. Therefore a legal
question might arise, though thankfully the Great One is merciful.
Really, the only place worth getting a degree at these days is the
Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies (http://fats.teunc.org). It's
where I wrote my paper on how the Shire was modelled after a
Micronesian sweatshop. (This paper is available from FATS for a mere
$219.99.)
Bran Mak Muffin
Sep 2007 21:45:00 GMT, Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III
<pseudonim...@yahoo.com.br> wrote:
<snip>
> Really, the only place worth getting a degree at these days is the
> Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies (http://fats.teunc.org). It's
> where I wrote my paper on how the Shire was modelled after a
> Micronesian sweatshop. (This paper is available from FATS for a mere
> $219.99.)
Send me a complimentary copy. I'd like to see how it compares to the model
of Minas Tirith I constructed out of cat's hair and bubble gum (trust me,
it's a bitch getting cats to chew bubble gum; very few manufacturers make
bird intestine-flavored gum).
You know, my OP was semi-serious, but then you came along and now the tenor
of this thread is dead.
Clams Canino
"Bran Mak Muffin" <branma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> You know, my OP was semi-serious, but then you came along and now the
> tenor of this thread is dead.
And that's not the only dead tenor this week!!
-W ( Sorry, I had to)
-----------------------------------
Italian Tenor Pavarotti Dies at Age 71
Sep 6 01:10 AM US/Eastern
By ALESSANDRA RIZZO
Associated Press Writer
ROME (AP) - Luciano Pavarotti, whose vibrant high C's and ebullient
showmanship made him one of the world's most beloved tenors, has died,
his manager told The Associated Press. He was 71.
His manager, Terri Robson, told the AP in an e-mail statement that
Pavarotti died at his home in Modena, Italy, at 5 a.m. local time.
Pavarotti had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year and
underwent further treatment in August.
"The Maestro fought a long, tough battle against the pancreatic cancer
which eventually took his life. In fitting with the approach that
characterised his life and work, he remained positive until finally
succumbing to the last stages of his illness," the statement said.
For serious fans, the unforced beauty and thrilling urgency of
Pavarotti's voice made him the ideal interpreter of the Italian lyric
repertory, especially in the 1960s and '70s when he first achieved
stardom. For millions more, his charismatic performances of standards
like "Nessun dorma" from Puccini's "Turandot" came to represent what
opera is all about.
Instantly recognizable from his charcoal black beard and tuxedo- busting
girth, Pavarotti radiated an intangible magic that helped him win hearts
in a way Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras-his partners in the "Three
Tenors" concerts-never quite could.
Pavarotti had three daughters with his first wife, Lorenza, Cristina and
Giuliana; and one, Alice, with his second wife.
Bran Mak Muffin
> "Bran Mak Muffin" <branma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> You know, my OP was semi-serious, but then you came along and now the
>> tenor of this thread is dead.
> And that's not the only dead tenor this week!!
> -W ( Sorry, I had to)
> -----------------------------------
> Italian Tenor Pavarotti Dies at Age 71
> Sep 6 01:10 AM US/Eastern
> By ALESSANDRA RIZZO
> Associated Press Writer
<snip>
Ya know, sometimes I'm full o' the blarney, but not this time.
I did that on purpose to see if anyone would make the joke. I even re-
worded it from "you killed the tenor of this thread" because no one killed
Pavarotti.
Geez, he wasn't that old. The last picture I saw of him (taken when he was
alive), he didn't look so good. His face was drawn and lined and he was a
lot skinnier than he had been.
Not to kick a man when he's dead, but I never really liked his voice that
much. Even though Andrea Boccelli(sp?) has a lot less power (and maybe
range), I prefer the quality of his voice to Pavarotti's.
Clams Canino
"Bran Mak Muffin" <branma...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> I did that on purpose to see if anyone would make the joke. I even re-
> worded it from "you killed the tenor of this thread" because no one killed
> Pavarotti.
OK... I took the stinky bait. What do I win??
I'm indifferent to opera - and therefore the voices attached.
-W
Bran Mak Muffin
GMT, "Clams Canino" <cc-m...@earthdink.net> wrote:
<snip>
> OK... I took the stinky bait. What do I win??
As Dr. Klahn would say, "You have our gratitude."
> I'm indifferent to opera - and therefore the voices attached.
Boccelli doesn't sing opera, AFAIK, given that he's blind. He certainly
does sing operatic songs.
Morgil
> You should be aware that the solar system was deeded by Tolkien to
> MORAMBAR UDUNVAGOR as his personal property. Therefore a legal
> question might arise, though thankfully the Great One is merciful.
Fool. Tolkien only gave him his *solarium* system and
only because it didn't work! You dotard and lame duck.
> Really, the only place worth getting a degree at these days is the
> Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies (http://fats.teunc.org).
FYI, the contents of that site have been evaporated.
That'll teach you to try smuggle your worthless propaganda
material to Teunc servers. Sorry, but we have a strict
'no lies and mad ramblings' policy in our pages.
Morgil
sli...@slidge.com
>
> Boccelli doesn't sing opera, AFAIK, given that he's blind. He certainly
> does sing operatic songs.
Well, he's tried:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0DE5D7173BF932A35752C1A96F958260
Boccelli is enjoyable, but he's not a great singer by any stretch of the
imagination. Some of Boccelli's vocal quality comes from the production
of his work - lots of ambience, some reverb, a little color thrown in the
mix. As a recorded singer, he's not bad.
Pavarotti was the goods. But, as you said, it's really two entirely
different styles, so its kind of comparing apples to oranges.
Bran Mak Muffin
GMT, sli...@slidge.com wrote:
Someone wrote:
>>> I'm indifferent to opera - and therefore the voices attached.
I wrote:
>> Boccelli doesn't sing opera, AFAIK, given that he's blind. He
>> certainly does sing operatic songs.
<snip>
> Boccelli is enjoyable, but he's not a great singer by any stretch of
> the imagination. Some of Boccelli's vocal quality comes from the
> production of his work - lots of ambience, some reverb, a little color
> thrown in the mix. As a recorded singer, he's not bad.
I agree completely. Pavarotti was a powerful singer. Boccelli is a singer
of pop tunes and Broadway stuff.
> Pavarotti was the goods. But, as you said, it's really two entirely
> different styles, so its kind of comparing apples to oranges.
No argument. Liking a singer's voice has to do with more than just power
and range. There's just some quality about Pavarotti's voice I don't like,
although it's certainly nothing to do with his range or power.
Noel Q. von Schneiffel
> Innews:1189454255.8...@y42g2000hsy.googlegroups.com, on Mon,
> 10 Sep 2007 19:57:35 GMT, "Noel Q. von Schneiffel"
>
> <snip>
>
> > I'm proud to say that, despite my rather easy-going approach to these
> > (I wrote them both on one Friday afternoon while nude women massaged
> > my feet) they have become classics in their respective fields. The
> > University of Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky actually invited me to teach
> > Tolkienology there, but I refused, mainly because I was living in
> > Ushuaia at that time and the daily swim over the Pacific Ocean would
> > have tired me in the long run.
>
> I think you were played for a fool. I don't think there is such a
> university.
:-P
Count Menelvagor
> Innews:1189460700....@57g2000hsv.googlegroups.com, on Mon, 10
> Sep 2007 21:45:00 GMT, Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III
>
>
> <snip>
>
> > Really, the only place worth getting a degree at these days is the
> > Fredonian Academy of Tolkien Studies (http://fats.teunc.org). It's
> > where I wrote my paper on how the Shire was modelled after a
> > Micronesian sweatshop. (This paper is available from FATS for a mere
> > $219.99.)
>
> Send me a complimentary copy. I'd like to see how it compares to the model
> of Minas Tirith I constructed out of cat's hair and bubble gum (trust me,
> it's a bitch getting cats to chew bubble gum; very few manufacturers make
> bird intestine-flavored gum).
I wouldn't read Pseudonymus's ravings if he paid me good money to do
so. He's a jellyfish, and it shows.
> You know, my OP was semi-serious,
Well, let's see. I'd want not only a decent grasp of facts (Tolkien
was born in Bloemfontein, Orcs have bow-ties, etc.), but of ideas.
What does Tolkien mean when he says LOTR is about mortality and the
Machine, how do elves experience time, etc. The candidate wd have to
know the essay on fairy stories and some secondary literature like
kocher's master of middle earth (i'm back to no caps mode), and
shippey's author of the century.
>but then you came along and now the tenor
> of this thread is dead.
bummer about the tenor.
Bran Mak Muffin
Sep 2007 10:36:54 GMT, "Noel Q. von Schneiffel" <ma...@sheepofstone.de>
wrote:
> http://www.kamgpu.ru/english/
That site has a suspiciously Russian-seeming air about it.
Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III
debate to the lowest common denominator, the Count has to come in and
do one better with nasty anti-jellyfish racism. Fie! Just for that,
I'm top-posting.
On Sep 12, 10:36 am, Count Menelvagor <Menelva...@mailandnews.com>
wrote:
> bummer about the tenor.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Morgil
> debate to the lowest common denominator, the Count has to come in and
> do one better with nasty anti-jellyfish racism. Fie! Just for that,
> I'm top-posting.
Typical (u)fattist behaviour. Somebody hurts their
feelings and they retaliate by making the entire
group to suffer by breaking the Netiquette! You
*know* that there are people here who get actually
physically *hurt* whenever that happens, you beasts!
Morgil
Count Menelvagor
it's giving *me* the vapors.
Bran Mak Muffin
Sep 2007 16:12:01 GMT, Count Menelvagor <Menel...@mailandnews.com> wrote:
<snip>
> it's giving *me* the vapors.
What's giving *me* the vapors is you people hijacking my thread.
;)
Count Menelvagor
> Innews:1189699921.2...@r34g2000hsd.googlegroups.com, on Thu, 13
> Sep 2007 16:12:01 GMT, Count Menelvagor <Menelva...@mailandnews.com> wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > it's giving *me* the vapors.
>
> What's giving *me* the vapors is you people hijacking my thread.
>
> ;)
i did try to respond on your original question above. it's the FATS
brigade who are (quite literally) the hijackers.
my view is essentially that a ph.d. wd require an understanding of
tolkien's ideas: death vs. "serial immorrtality," corruption of power,
etc.
Bran Mak Muffin
Sep 2007 00:00:10 GMT, Count Menelvagor <Menel...@mailandnews.com>
wrote:
<snip>
> my view is essentially that a ph.d. wd require an understanding of
> tolkien's ideas: death vs. "serial immorrtality," corruption of power,
> etc.
So more than merely knowing who said what to whom in Hob/LotR/Sil/HoME.
I'll by that.
hen...@swirve.com
> Innews:1189814410.1...@w3g2000hsg.googlegroups.com, on Sat, 15
> Sep 2007 00:00:10 GMT, Count Menelvagor <Menelva...@mailandnews.com>
> wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > my view is essentially that a ph.d. wd require an understanding of
> > tolkien's ideas: death vs. "serial immorrtality," corruption of power,
> > etc.
>
> So more than merely knowing who said what to whom in Hob/LotR/Sil/HoME.
>
> I'll by that.
No one who has not seen Mordor bloom in springtime, sending out is
creepers of beauteous fragrance and lucre into the world, can
understand the sadness and mourning of those people of good will -
people of all races, even cheesemakers - who realized that Sauron
merely wanted to curb the hobbit terrorists who had for too long been
a threat to freedom, economic liberty and religious feeling and family
values and a proper respect for our boys in the military who stand
guard and put themselves in harm's way to defend our freedoms day and
night while lily-livered liberals and umbrella-waving appeasers try to
betray everything a true libertarian holds dear. Imagine the fury of
an honest orcish entrepeneur who gets robbed at gunpoint and has to
give the extortionist socialist IRS his own money, the money he had
generously invested in providing so many lazy, ungrateful mineworkers
with jobs, and what did he get in return? Socialist demands for
"workplace safety" - as if a ceiling that caves in ever hurt anyone!
It never hurt me. Imagine his fury and despondency when he was robbed
of all his capital, money he had generated out of a true idalistic
ambition to render Mordor's economy viable, vibrant and competetive,
and also in the schools they taught his sons to be faggots and that we
are descended from monkeys.
Horus Engels
Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III
> No one who has not seen Mordor bloom in springtime, sending out is
> creepers of beauteous fragrance and lucre into the world, can
> understand the sadness and mourning of those people of good will -
> people of all races, even cheesemakers - who realized that Sauron
> merely wanted to curb the hobbit terrorists who had for too long been
> a threat to freedom, economic liberty and religious feeling and family
> values and a proper respect for our boys in the military who stand
> guard and put themselves in harm's way to defend our freedoms day and
> night while lily-livered liberals and umbrella-waving appeasers try to
> betray everything a true libertarian holds dear. Imagine the fury of
> an honest orcish entrepeneur who gets robbed at gunpoint and has to
> give the extortionist socialist IRS his own money, the money he had
> generously invested in providing so many lazy, ungrateful mineworkers
> with jobs, and what did he get in return? Socialist demands for
> "workplace safety" - as if a ceiling that caves in ever hurt anyone!
> It never hurt me. Imagine his fury and despondency when he was robbed
> of all his capital, money he had generated out of a true idalistic
> ambition to render Mordor's economy viable, vibrant and competetive,
> and also in the schools they taught his sons to be faggots and that we
> are descended from monkeys.
I must admit you have a point. Tolkien all his life fought against
creeping socialism in the form of public libraries, welfare cheatism,
environmental regulation that steal money from polluters' pockets, and
the post office.
Öjevind Lång
meddelandet news:1189895028.3...@d55g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> On Sep 15, 1:12 am, heng...@swirve.com wrote:
[snip]
> I must admit you have a point. Tolkien all his life fought against
> creeping socialism in the form of public libraries, welfare cheatism,
> environmental regulation that steal money from polluters' pockets, and
> the post office.
Heh. Well, oh troll, so do you, in a way. The post office was one of the
few branches of a functioning government apparatus that Tolkien bothered to
describe.
Öjevind
William C. Hicklin
<Menel...@mailandnews.com> wrote:
>> but then you came along and now the tenor
>> of this thread is dead.
> bummer about the tenor.
Who the hell granted Pavarotti official status on this thread?
--
Using Opera's revolutionary e-mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/
Bran Mak Muffin
> Who the hell granted Pavarotti official status on this thread?
> --
> Using Opera's revolutionary e-mail client: http://www.opera.com/mail/
That's a hell of a comment from someone who uses Opera.
sli...@slidge.com
>> different styles, so its kind of comparing apples to oranges.
>
> No argument. Liking a singer's voice has to do with more than just power
> and range. There's just some quality about Pavarotti's voice I don't like,
> although it's certainly nothing to do with his range or power.
An observation that I have heard from many other people. I liked it,
however. To each his own, I guess.