[Fanfic] Failure
Sara Jaye
by Sara Jaye
Another short, sappy, angsty Kunzite&Zoisite story, from Zoisite's
point of view again. I wrote this at 2:30am, so I'm not sure how much sense it
makes. It takes place after episode 33, but it's slightly different. ^^;;
[Disclaimers: Sailor Moon is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and Toei
animation. None of the characters belong to me.
This fanfic is yaoi, so if that kind of thing bothers you or isn't your speed,
you may want to close the window. :P But if not, enjoy! ^^]
~
Another failure. Wonderful. Queen Beryl-sama will have our heads for
this. She's really going to let us have it this time. Why else would she call
us back from the battle so suddenly? I'd curse the Senshi, but is it really
their fault? I don't even care about that stupid crystal anymore!
"...Did I just think that?" I asked myself aloud.
"Something wrong, Zoisaito?" His deep voice jerked me back to reality.
I smiled calmly, running my fingers through the ends of my hair.
"Iie, Kunzaito-sama. I was just thinking," I answered, unable to keep
my eyes off of his injured hands. It hurt me to see them; the thought of
Kunzite-sama in pain brings tears to my eyes.
"We have failed miserably again," he said coldly.
'WE failed?!' I thought. How could he say such a thing? Sure, this was
his plan, but I'm the one who didn't consider the appearance of Sailorvenus. I
let her get away and set the other Senshi free. And I should have been the one
slashed by the Crescent Beam! I let Kunzite-sama be hurt!
I...let Kunzite-sama...be...hurt.
That last thought grabbed hold of my mind and refused to let go. I'd
sworn I'd throw away my life for him, and I couldn't even stop that damned
Crescent Beam!
No. I wasn't going to agonize over this, not right now. Not just before
we were to meet with Queen Beryl-sama.
"Yes..." I said quietly. "I'm sorry about your hands, Kunzaito-sama. He
stared blankly at me. Had I said something wrong?
"It's all right," he said, his voice cold as ever.
'It's not all right! I failed you, Kunzaito-sama! I try so hard to do a
good job, to make you proud, but does it even matter? I can't do anything
right, I'm an idiot!' Again I had to mentally slap myself. I wasn't about to
break down in tears in front of him.
"I suppose we'll just have to ask Queen Beryl-sama for another chance,"
I said. This time he only nodded silently, barely looking at me. He really was
angry at me, and I didn't blame him one bit. I hated myself so much right now,
I almost wished Queen Beryl-sama would kill me for this. The whole week had
been nothing but failures, misery, and confusion. Lately I'd been wondering why
I even cared about that damned crystal anymore. This wasn't right, finding the
Silver Crystal was my job, was it not? The Kingdom needed it, right? So why the
hell did I just not care as much as I should? Wait a minute...how did my
thoughts get from the crystal to Kunzite-sama then back? Great, my mind must be
fragmenting, I'm going crazy! What's wrong with me lately? I crossed my arms
tightly across my chest, trying to block out the world around me.
Then I heard something...muffled sobs coming from somewhere. But there
was nobody else here except for...
"Kunzaito-sama?!"
I'd never seen him like this before. Kunzite-sama, normally so
professional and serious had fallen to his knees on the cold ground, sobbing
into the sleeve of his jacket.
This wasn't happening. It wasn't like Kunzite-sama to break down out of
nowhere like this! I'd snapped, apparently. I was imagining things, because
this didn't seem real at all.
"Kunzaito-sama?" I whispered.
"I failed you, Zoisaito," he choked. Now I was sure I'd gone crazy. I'd
failed him! Not the other way around! This wasn't real, it just couldn't be
real...it was, though. And all I could do was come over and put my arms around
him.
"It was my fault. I'm the one who ruined your plan, I let them get
away, remember?" I asked.
"But if my plan hadn't been so idiotic in the first place none of this
would have happened. What was I thinking?" he sobbed.
"It was a very good plan, Kunzaito-sama. All your plans are. The only
reason they fail is because I screw them up," I said, gently stroking his hair.
It felt pretty nice to hold him for once. As much as I loved being held in his
arms, there was something about being the one doing the holding, a whole
different feeling. "It'll be all right," I whispered reassuringly. I felt one
of his injured hands close around mine.
"You did a wonderful job, Zoisaito. You were doing just fine until
Sailorvenus came in," he said. So he wasn't disappointed in me after all. I
felt some of this week's apprehension melting away.
"Thank you," I whispered. "We'd better do something about your
injuries, though..."
"I'll be fine, just as long as you're here with me, Zoisaito," he said.
"As long as you weren't hurt."
"I'd rather I'd have been hurt than you, Kunzaito-sama."
We stayed like that for the next few minutes. These precious few
moments are what I live for, the ones that make all my suffering and emotional
turmoil worthwhile. I'd go through the fires of Hades and back just for 5
minutes with Kunzite-sama. Again, the world seemed to fade away as we held each
other. I wished we could stay like that forever.
But as always, the moment had to end. Queen Beryl-sama was waiting for
us.
"We'd better get this over with, then," he sighed. Reluctantly, we let
go of each other and stood up, straightening our uniforms.
"Right," I said. "I can't help wondering why she called us back so
suddenly, though."
"I must admit I'm...afraid of what she's going to do with us, whatever
it is. She sounded so angry," he said quietly. I knew I should be even more
worried as he said that. If Kunzite-sama was afraid, it must be really bad. Yet
for some reason, I couldn't worry.
"I'm sure it's nothing. We tried our best, and all we have to do is ask
for another chance. Look how close we came this time, Kunzaito-sama. A little
more planning and everything should work out," I said. I couldn't believe I was
saying this...even more, that I actually believed it. I'm no coward, but I
normally get so nervous concerning Queen Beryl-sama and failures. A week ago I
would have been crying myself to sleep over this. Everything feels strange
lately...
"Zoisaito...I've never seen you like this before. You sound so sure of
yourself, so fearless...I'm worried," he sighed.
"Worried?"
"I just don't want you to end up in over your head, thinking nothing's
going to go wrong," he said.
"Don't worry about it, Kunzaito-sama. I wouldn't do anything that would
put you or myself in danger," I reassured him. I hoped I could live up to that
promise. I'd never forgive myself if anything else happened to Kunzite-sama.
"As I said, I would throw away my life for you."
He didn't answer, only smiled as he wrapped his arms around me and
brushed his fingers through my ponytail.
"I love you, Zoisaito," he whispered softly in my ear. "You don't have
to say that, though. Just knowing you're here with me is enough," he said
before his lips touched my own. I knew we were wasting time here, but I didn't
care.
"I love you too," I said, pulling back after a minute. "If we could
just stay here a little longer..."
"I know. But time is short, so we'd best report to Queen Beryl-sama
now," he said.
"Hai, Kunzaito-sama," I said, following him down the corridor. I didn't
know what the outcome of this was going to be. All I knew was that something
was about to happen, and when it did, nothing would be the same.
~End~
I apologize if this doesn't make much sense. I wrote half of it at
2:30am and as for the other half...it just moved on its own. ^^;; I've had
ideas about writing an "After episode 33" story a few times, but they weren't
much more than WAFFy little scenes of Zoisite tending to Kunzite's hands. ^_^;;
I'm just glad I wrote something after another dry spell. ^^
Sara Jaye
~I don't suffer from insanity.I enjoy every minute of it.~
Sara Jaye
Trixie
That was a nice fanfic. Poor Zoisite!
Trixie, baking yet more cookies for her adorable pet!