ALAN KEYES on Beef

[David Lynch]

I am made entirely out of uncooked beef, that is to say, cow flesh. My
arms, legs, hands, feet, torso, head, genitals, and even my eyes and teeth
are all 100% first quality top-of-the-line beef. If I were burned alive
and coated with A-1 sauce or something similar, and served with a side of
baked potatoes, you would have a terrific meal. I have been made of beef
for as long as I can remember, and I like it just fine. People will ask
me what it's like to be made out of beef, and I really can't answer that,
because being made out of beef is all I know. It doesn't seem unusual to
me at all. I will still eat steaks and such, as I feel no kinship to
other, non-sentient slabs of beef. The clerks at Ponderosa will stare at
me occasionally, but it doesn't concern me. Let them look! I am proud of
who and what I am, and if other people can't accept that, it's their
problem. That's why acceptance and tolerance is so important to me. I've
dealt with prejudice and insults every day of my life, so I understand
what minorities have to face. That's why it's important to me that
everyone, blaccks, whites, homosexuals, albinos, are all seen as equal in
the eyes of the law, because they are surely equal under the eyes of the
Creator. I thank God every day for being created as a giant pile of
beef, and I believe it's a great thing.

--
erase...@iglou.com / Not the finely ground director / Tape trades welcome
See the Soap WWW page at: http://www.rahul.net/ndanger/soap/soap.html
ObCriminalSpeech: cocksucker.

[Hector Dominguez]

In <DMDF7...@iglou.com> erase...@iglou.com (David Lynch) writes:
>
>I am made entirely out of uncooked beef, that is to say, cow flesh. My

>arms, legs, hands, feet, torso, head, genitals, and even my eyes and
>teeth are all 100% first quality top-of-the-line beef. If I were
>burned alive and coated with A-1 sauce or something similar, and
>served with a side of baked potatoes, you would have a terrific meal.
>I have been made of beef for as long as I can remember, and I like it
>just fine. People will ask me what it's like to be made out of beef,
>and I really can't answer that, because being made out of beef is all
>I know. It doesn't seem unusual to me at all. I will still eat steaks
>and such, as I feel no kinship to other, non-sentient slabs of beef.
>The clerks at Ponderosa will stare at me occasionally, but it doesn't
>concern me. Let them look! I am proud of who and what I am, and if
>other people can't accept that, it's their problem. That's why
>acceptance and tolerance is so important to me. I've dealt with
>prejudice and insults every day of my life, so I understand what
>minorities have to face. That's why it's important to me that
>everyone, blaccks, whites, homosexuals, albinos, are all seen as equal
>in the eyes of the law, because they are surely equal under the eyes
>of the Creator. I thank God every day for being created as a giant
>pile of beef, and I believe it's a great thing.

That's the best damn post I ever read. Except the part about
Ponderosa... Man, fuck that SHIT!!! GOLDEN CORRAL!!! Also the part
about A-1, shit A-1 be good but Cattlemen's Honey-Mustard Bar-B-Que
Sauce be a lot better. It makes my DICK hard just thinking about it.

T.T. Peters