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Vibranium stocks tumble as U.S. raises tariffs on Wakanda
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Ubiquitous
Dec 22, 2019, 8:52:42 AM12/22/19
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NEW YORK – Vibranium stocks and vibranium-rich mutual funds took a
nosedive this morning as the United States announced a new series of
tariffs on the tiny East African nation of Wakanda.
The world’s most technologically advanced civilization, and normally
one of America’s most stable trading partners, Wakanda recently earned
the ire of U.S. President Donald Trump, who claimed that Wakanda used
its superior technology to hack Time magazine’s “Person of the Year”
issue, denying Trump the win over climate-extinction activist and
professional shade-thrower Greta Thunberg.
“This is just like what Agrabah did with the Emmys,” Trump tweeted,
referring to the genie-rich Middle East caliphate run by a plucky
former street rat. “If I was prezident back then I would have invaded
that shithole and taken all of their oil and genie juice and The
Apprentice would have won the Nobel prize for tv!”
Despite the loss of value on the NASDAQ, vibranium has continued robust
trading in international markets. Though the rare element is highly
prized for its weapon applications, its near indestructibility has made
vibranium the go-to material for a wide variety of objects, ranging
from single-use Keurig cups to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s exoskeleton.
“We will continue to mine and export our minerals to the world just as
we have for centuries — this changes nothing,” said Wakanda’s King
T’Challa in a prepared statement. “We bear no ill will towards the
American president, and as a gift from the people of our great nation,
I have sent him a pair of tiny vibranium gloves to protect his
obviously delicate hands.”
Meanwhile, the U.S. tariffs have opened the door for increased commerce
between Wakanda and other trading partners who have expressed interest
in the country’s textile exports, panther-theme tchotchkes, and
rhinoceros-herder training programs.
Though seen by many as largely symbolic, the tariffs have had a ripple
effect throughout the American government. On Trump’s order, the
Department of Defense has decommissioned Captain America’s famous
vibranium shield and replaced it with a copy of the Mueller report,
which, although impervious to attack, is for some reason not being used
as an offensive weapon.
--
"We need to impeach the President to find out what crime he committed."
-- Nancy Pelosi
nosedive this morning as the United States announced a new series of
tariffs on the tiny East African nation of Wakanda.
The world’s most technologically advanced civilization, and normally
one of America’s most stable trading partners, Wakanda recently earned
the ire of U.S. President Donald Trump, who claimed that Wakanda used
its superior technology to hack Time magazine’s “Person of the Year”
issue, denying Trump the win over climate-extinction activist and
professional shade-thrower Greta Thunberg.
“This is just like what Agrabah did with the Emmys,” Trump tweeted,
referring to the genie-rich Middle East caliphate run by a plucky
former street rat. “If I was prezident back then I would have invaded
that shithole and taken all of their oil and genie juice and The
Apprentice would have won the Nobel prize for tv!”
Despite the loss of value on the NASDAQ, vibranium has continued robust
trading in international markets. Though the rare element is highly
prized for its weapon applications, its near indestructibility has made
vibranium the go-to material for a wide variety of objects, ranging
from single-use Keurig cups to Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s exoskeleton.
“We will continue to mine and export our minerals to the world just as
we have for centuries — this changes nothing,” said Wakanda’s King
T’Challa in a prepared statement. “We bear no ill will towards the
American president, and as a gift from the people of our great nation,
I have sent him a pair of tiny vibranium gloves to protect his
obviously delicate hands.”
Meanwhile, the U.S. tariffs have opened the door for increased commerce
between Wakanda and other trading partners who have expressed interest
in the country’s textile exports, panther-theme tchotchkes, and
rhinoceros-herder training programs.
Though seen by many as largely symbolic, the tariffs have had a ripple
effect throughout the American government. On Trump’s order, the
Department of Defense has decommissioned Captain America’s famous
vibranium shield and replaced it with a copy of the Mueller report,
which, although impervious to attack, is for some reason not being used
as an offensive weapon.
--
"We need to impeach the President to find out what crime he committed."
-- Nancy Pelosi
jane....@gmail.com
Dec 22, 2019, 11:07:21 AM12/22/19
to
Here is an honest, non-political "MarketWatch article explaining why Wakanda was removed as a free-trade partner on the USDA’s tariff tracker.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/this-is-why-wakanda-was-listed-as-a-free-trade-partner-on-the-usdas-tariff-tracker-2019-12-18
AlleyCat
Dec 22, 2019, 6:24:47 PM12/22/19
to
On Sun, 22 Dec 2019 04:50:09 -0500, Ubiquitous says...
> NEW YORK ? Vibranium stocks and vibranium-rich mutual funds took a
> nosedive this morning as the United States announced a new series of
> tariffs on the tiny East African nation of Wakanda.
>
Careful... like the dumbass Black Democrats who showed TOO much pride in the
> tariffs on the tiny East African nation of Wakanda.
>
movie "Black Panther", thinking that it could possibly be like, for reals...
some of these idiot Democrats here might believe this story.
First thing they'll say, is that it's all Trump's fault, before realizing it's
satire'ish.
What will they choose to believe? Why, truth, of course, because they're so
blinded by hate and butthurtedness, they can't see the FACT of any matter.
=====
"We choose truth over facts."
"Stand up, Chuck, let'em see ya." - Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen.
Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008
"If we do EVERYTHING right... there's Still a 30% chance we're going to
get it wrong."
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the
television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed.
He said, 'Look, here's what happened." - Joe Biden, apparently unaware
that FDR wasn't president when the stock market crashed in 1929 and that
only experimental TV sets were in use at that time, interview with Katie
Couric, Sept. 22, 2008
...a three-letter word: jobs... - Biden
"His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And-
although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad
passed. God bless her soul." - Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime
Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17,
2010
"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President
of the United States ? Barack America!" - Joe Biden, at his first campaign
rally with Barack Obama after being announced as his running mate,
Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008
"Thank you, Dr. Pepper, and thank you, Chancell... Dr. Paper. And thank
you, Chancellor." - At a campaign stop in Eastern Iowa in March of 2012,
Biden accidentally thanked "Dr. Pepper" rather than the woman who actually
had helped organize the event, Scott Community College President Dr.
Theresa Paper. Fortunately for Joe, he caught his mistake right away and
corrected himself.
"Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across
at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." - Joe Biden, mistakenly
referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice
president, Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009
TT
Dec 23, 2019, 3:27:59 AM12/23/19
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