From Your Sex Instructor: Vocabulary, Part II
Forsaken_1
Instructer, I hope to further your sexual education by sharing with you my vast
and learned(pronounced 'learn-ed') knowledge of all things smutty. Here, for
your betterment, are sexual terms that you should all be familiar with.
* = F_1 approved.
*Abe Lincoln, The - This one takes a bit of work. Get a girl from behind, and
when you're about to blow your load, pull off the ol' Donkey Punch, so that you
knock her out. Turn her over, and blow your load on her face. Next, shave off
all of her pubic hair, and apply it to her face in the shape of a beard. Adorn
her with a top hat, and then show your friends (or just take a Polaroid).
*Affrin, The - When a chick is slobbin your knob and you pull out and shoot her
in the nostril.
Finch - When the guy tucks his junk between his legs and gets head from behind.
Flaming Pelé, The - While a chick is on top riding you, just as you are ready to
cum, grab the nearest lighter, lift her off your schlong, and ignite her pubes.
When she jumps straight up in the air, do the famous Pelé bicycle kick right
into her flaming pubes - launching her across the room. If they are still
ignited, you can walk over and use your jizz to put them out (Flaming Amazon).
*Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
farts directly in his/her face.
*Furley, Mr. - When a girl gives you head, you stick both of your index fingers
in her ears.
Glemmie - Jerking off using a toilet brush for the sensations from the stiff
bristles.
Grumpkin, The - Blow your load in a girls mouth, and then punch her in the
stomach. Watch out for the explosion.
Homolic Maneuver, The - Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a
choking victim's windpipe.
Hot Karl - Oral immediately after anal.
Hot Kyle - 69 and fart.
Intoxicourse - Having sexual intercourse whilst piss - drunk.
Markowitz, Sir - While a girl gives you head you knight her with your sword.
*Nixon, The - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to
lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door.
When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace
signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"
Old Jism Trail - The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of someone
who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.
One Armed Bandit - While giving your girl a back massage, use the other hand to
blow a load on her back.
Perkins, Seargent/Colonel - A girl gives you head and does push-ups at the same
time.
*Play-Through, The - This requires golf clubs and a golf ball. Socks are
optional. When one of your friends is getting busy with a girl in his room, you
and 3 buddies open the door just a crack (so that they ont even notice at
first), and roll the golf ball in. Next, all 4 guys walk in, wearing whatever
you like (I've heard it done naked, I've heard it done wearing only socks over
their packages), and ask "Can we play through?" Then, you all survey the ball
and say like "this is a tough shot"... act very golfer-like. Then one person
lines up, hits the ball out of the room, and you thank them and leave.
Roper, Mr. - Stand at a girls door, beat off, leave a puddle, knock, then run
away.
Shish Cabob, The - When your doing a chick in the ass and you pull out with
little clumps of shit all over your dick.
Felching(Shannon's specialty) - Screwing your partner in the ass, blowing your
load, then pulling out a straw (or a ink pen tube) and inserting it into your
partner's ass and sucking the spew out. Typically a gay partner position. Also
known as Felching.
Snowballing - Cumming in her mouth and she rolls it into a ball and then gives
it back in a french kiss!
Split pissonality - When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of the
one hole!
Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.
Stuffucking - The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of
getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see also;
Fugly)
The Corn Dog - When your doing a chick with a yeast infection.
Toothpasting - Squeezing a limpy from the base in order to give the impression
of actual arousal.
Topeka Destroyer - While receiving oral favors, you vomit onto the head of the
fellator.
Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose
while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release
point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do
to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what
the rules of engagement will be going forward.
Forsaken_1
---
F_1 pick up line #13: Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?
---
alt.CMMCollective: #00o2 of 0002
"A Nice Cup of Tea is Irrelevent."
Chucky & Janica
<Forsaken...@newsguy.com> kirjoitti viestissä:
>* = F_1 approved.
Oh, so you're alive, are you?
>*Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
>farts directly in his/her face.
And you approve of this?
>*Nixon, The - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to
>lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door.
>When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace
>signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"
Bahahahahahahaha!! Good grief.
>*Play-Through, The - This requires golf clubs and a golf ball. Socks are
>optional. When one of your friends is getting busy with a girl in his room, you
>and 3 buddies open the door just a crack (so that they ont even notice at
>first), and roll the golf ball in. Next, all 4 guys walk in, wearing whatever
>you like (I've heard it done naked, I've heard it done wearing only socks over
>their packages), and ask "Can we play through?" Then, you all survey the ball
>and say like "this is a tough shot"... act very golfer-like. Then one person
>lines up, hits the ball out of the room, and you thank them and leave.
*dies*
I love it.
>Felching(Shannon's specialty) - Screwing your partner in the ass, blowing your
>load, then pulling out a straw (or a ink pen tube) and inserting it into your
>partner's ass and sucking the spew out. Typically a gay partner position. Also
>known as Felching.
Felching, also known as felching?
Thanks again, although I declare a lot of these were doubles, repeats
on the last time. You old cheater.
C&J
--
13 & 13b of the CMM Collective
O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem!
(the official AFRJ Latin Motto)
Now go here: www.afrj-monkeyhouse.org
F_1
janica....@pp.inet.fi proclaimed their love for me by saying:
>
>Way back on 10 Sep 2002 11:51:32 -0700, this dweeb called Forsaken_1
><Forsaken...@newsguy.com> kirjoitti viestissä:
>
>>* = F_1 approved.
>
>Oh, so you're alive, are you?
Barely. Quit hogging all the air.
>>*Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
>>farts directly in his/her face.
>
>And you approve of this?
Don't knowck until you try it. It's especially fun/smelly if she's had time to
digest her corned beef and cabbage.
>>*Nixon, The - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to
>>lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door.
>>When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace
>>signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"
>
>Bahahahahahahaha!! Good grief.
Hee hee. I can picture it and it makes me piss myself. It's important to
remember to shake your jowls like Nixon too.
"Brrbrbrbrbrbr! I... am not a crook!"
>>*Play-Through, The - This requires golf clubs and a golf ball. Socks are
>>optional. When one of your friends is getting busy with a girl in his room, you
>>and 3 buddies open the door just a crack (so that they ont even notice at
>>first), and roll the golf ball in. Next, all 4 guys walk in, wearing whatever
>>you like (I've heard it done naked, I've heard it done wearing only socks over
>>their packages), and ask "Can we play through?" Then, you all survey the ball
>>and say like "this is a tough shot"... act very golfer-like. Then one person
>>lines up, hits the ball out of the room, and you thank them and leave.
>
>*dies*
>
>I love it.
Can you imagine...? How funny would this be. It's so funny that I bet even the
woman couldn't help but laugh.
>>Felching(Shannon's specialty) - Screwing your partner in the ass, blowing your
>>load, then pulling out a straw (or a ink pen tube) and inserting it into your
>>partner's ass and sucking the spew out. Typically a gay partner position. Also
>>known as Felching.
>
>Felching, also known as felching?
I know, sorry. I meant to say that it was also known as 'shrimping.'
>
>
>
>
>Thanks again, although I declare a lot of these were doubles, repeats
>on the last time. You old cheater.
I thought so, but I couldn't be bothered to check my old post for repeats
because, well... I'm a lazy bastard. But the new ones were funny. I'm glad
that at least you replied back and said so.
Forsaken_1
--
F_1 pick up line #13: (lick her sleeve) Well we better get you out of those wet
clothes!
Chucky & Janica
<F_1_m...@newsguy.com> kirjoitti viestissä:
>>>* = F_1 approved.
>>
>>Oh, so you're alive, are you?
>
>Barely. Quit hogging all the air.
Wait until they find a way to deep-fry it. Then you're all gonna
suffer. Oh yes.
>>>*Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
>>>farts directly in his/her face.
>>
>>And you approve of this?
>
>Don't knowck until you try it.
I wouldn't knowck it even if I knew what knowcking was.
>It's especially fun/smelly if she's had time to
>digest her corned beef and cabbage.
You're a sick freak.
How's things?
>>>*Nixon, The - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to
>>>lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door.
>>>When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace
>>>signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"
>>
>>Bahahahahahahaha!! Good grief.
>
>Hee hee. I can picture it and it makes me piss myself. It's important to
>remember to shake your jowls like Nixon too.
Hee hee. Exactly - it's a golden little picture, and the follow-up is
hilarious. Of course, I only have "Simpsons"/"Futurama" mental images
of Nixon. But they're pretty close to the mark.
>"Brrbrbrbrbrbr! I... am not a crook!"
Perhaps you could simulate the 'brrbrbrbrbrbr' by rapid manipulation
of your partner's ass-cheeks.
>Can you imagine...? How funny would this be. It's so funny that I bet even the
>woman couldn't help but laugh.
That's the idea I get too. But it's really only funny for the golfers.
>>Felching, also known as felching?
>
>I know, sorry. I meant to say that it was also known as 'shrimping.'
Ahh. Shrimping. Why?
>>Thanks again, although I declare a lot of these were doubles, repeats
>>on the last time. You old cheater.
>
>I thought so, but I couldn't be bothered to check my old post for repeats
>because, well... I'm a lazy bastard.
Admit it, you couldn't check because your newsreader sucks.
>But the new ones were funny. I'm glad
>that at least you replied back and said so.
Hey, that's what a newsgroup is for. Replying to posts that other
people put effort into writing.
*expects a guilt-ridden apology, or no response at all*
F_1
>>
>>Barely. Quit hogging all the air.
>
>Wait until they find a way to deep-fry it. Then you're all gonna
>suffer. Oh yes.
I'd worry, but you'd need a microwave to heat up the deep fried air since you're
over there in Finland, where everything is frozen. And since microwaves use
electricity which Finland hasn't invented yet, we both know that it'll be awhile
before that happens.
>>>>*Fumilingus - When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she
>>>>farts directly in his/her face.
>>>
>>>And you approve of this?
>>
>>Don't knowck until you try it.
>
>I wouldn't knowck it even if I knew what knowcking was.
Yes you would. Just to be a cunny. Admit it.
>>It's especially fun/smelly if she's had time to
>>digest her corned beef and cabbage.
>
>You're a sick freak.
Flattery will get you everything.
>How's things?
*smile*
I'll email you.
>>>>*Nixon, The - Tell your buddies you're taking some dirty skank to your room to
>>>>lay the smack down on. Start doing her doggy style, with her facing the door.
>>>>When your friends burst in some 5 minutes later, put your hands up, do 2 peace
>>>>signs and say "I AM NOT A CROOK!"
>>>
>>>Bahahahahahahaha!! Good grief.
>>
>>Hee hee. I can picture it and it makes me piss myself. It's important to
>>remember to shake your jowls like Nixon too.
>
>Hee hee. Exactly - it's a golden little picture, and the follow-up is
>hilarious. Of course, I only have "Simpsons"/"Futurama" mental images
>of Nixon. But they're pretty close to the mark.
Heh. Do you get the Cartoon Network on your TV? That's the channel with Johny
Bravo... Anyway, I read an article that they were adding Futurama to their
lineup so if you were disappointed about the show not airing anymore this will
be good news.
>>"Brrbrbrbrbrbr! I... am not a crook!"
>
>Perhaps you could simulate the 'brrbrbrbrbrbr' by rapid manipulation
>of your partner's ass-cheeks.
Hah hah haaa! Perfect. That's a keeper.
>>Can you imagine...? How funny would this be. It's so funny that I bet even the
>>woman couldn't help but laugh.
>
>That's the idea I get too. But it's really only funny for the golfers.
*laughs*
Yeah. Especially if they decide to come in with their penises in socks. That's
better then totally naked.
>>>Felching, also known as felching?
>>
>>I know, sorry. I meant to say that it was also known as 'shrimping.'
>
>Ahh. Shrimping. Why?
I'm not sure. I don't eat sea food so I can't relate. Ask Shannon. As the
group's gay man he should know. I know you eat sea food though. Didn't you eat
shrimp at Tony Roma's over here in L.A.? And didn't you eat the shrimp whole?
Tails and all?
>>>Thanks again, although I declare a lot of these were doubles, repeats
>>>on the last time. You old cheater.
>>
>>I thought so, but I couldn't be bothered to check my old post for repeats
>>because, well... I'm a lazy bastard.
>
>Admit it, you couldn't check because your newsreader sucks.
That's true. In order for me to check I would have to push a few keys and click
my mouse a few too many times. Too much work. I'd rather just sit here and
type with my eyes closed like always.
>>But the new ones were funny. I'm glad
>>that at least you replied back and said so.
>
>Hey, that's what a newsgroup is for. Replying to posts that other
>people put effort into writing.
That's what this is for? So it's not for trying to lure 14 year olds out of the
home and then selling them to Mexican slave traders? Oops, my bad.
>*expects a guilt-ridden apology, or no response at all*
*whips out penis and masturbates all over the monitor*
Expect the unexpected. Life's easier to deal with that way.
Forsaken_1
Chucky & Janica
<F_1_m...@newsguy.com> kirjoitti viestissä:
>>Wait until they find a way to deep-fry it. Then you're all gonna
>>suffer. Oh yes.
I think this line is funnier with no context.
>I'd worry, but you'd need a microwave to heat up the deep fried air since you're
>over there in Finland, where everything is frozen. And since microwaves use
>electricity which Finland hasn't invented yet, we both know that it'll be awhile
>before that happens.
You'll still be the first to go, with your greasy LA air.
>>>Don't knowck until you try it.
>>
>>I wouldn't knowck it even if I knew what knowcking was.
>
>Yes you would. Just to be a cunny. Admit it.
Okay, I confess.
>>How's things?
>
>*smile*
>
>I'll email you.
You inbox-teaser.
>>Hee hee. Exactly - it's a golden little picture, and the follow-up is
>>hilarious. Of course, I only have "Simpsons"/"Futurama" mental images
>>of Nixon. But they're pretty close to the mark.
>
>Heh. Do you get the Cartoon Network on your TV? That's the channel with Johny
>Bravo... Anyway, I read an article that they were adding Futurama to their
>lineup so if you were disappointed about the show not airing anymore this will
>be good news.
Cool. They're apparently starting it again on the same channel as the
Simpsons too. So we'll see. Thanks for the info - we do get that
network on our satellite.
Ha! Did that backfire?
>>Perhaps you could simulate the 'brrbrbrbrbrbr' by rapid manipulation
>>of your partner's ass-cheeks.
>
>Hah hah haaa! Perfect. That's a keeper.
Better you than me.
>I'm not sure. I don't eat sea food so I can't relate. Ask Shannon. As the
>group's gay man he should know. I know you eat sea food though. Didn't you eat
>shrimp at Tony Roma's over here in L.A.? And didn't you eat the shrimp whole?
>Tails and all?
Yeah, but I didn't suck them out of your ass with a straw.
>That's true. In order for me to check I would have to push a few keys and click
>my mouse a few too many times. Too much work. I'd rather just sit here and
>type with my eyes closed like always.
Now tell a lie.
>>Hey, that's what a newsgroup is for. Replying to posts that other
>>people put effort into writing.
>
>That's what this is for? So it's not for trying to lure 14 year olds out of the
>home and then selling them to Mexican slave traders? Oops, my bad.
So that's where Contro really went.
Those poor Mexican slave traders.
*imagines Contro at the Titty Twister*
*grins again*
You know, this gives me an idea for a series of drawings, maybe a
comic. The Adventures of Contro.
No - The LOLbulous Adventures of Contro.
But it would take too long and you cunts wouldn't look at it.
Marek Mercury
>Way back on 12 Sep 2002 09:03:58 -0700, this dweeb called F_1
><F_1_m...@newsguy.com> kirjoitti viestissä:
>
>>That's what this is for? So it's not for trying to lure 14 year olds out of the
>>home and then selling them to Mexican slave traders? Oops, my bad.
>
>So that's where Contro really went.
>
>You know, this gives me an idea for a series of drawings, maybe a
>comic. The Adventures of Contro.
>
>No - The LOLbulous Adventures of Contro.
That would be funny
>But it would take too long and you cunts wouldn't look at it.
Now you are just scoping for shallow platitudes
Marek
--
Believing all the lies that they're telling ya,
buying all the products that they're selling ya!
They say jump and you say how high? You brain dead?
You got a fuckin bullet in your head?
- Rage Against the Machine