need a landscape service?
Derek Lavin
> Hodgepodge wrote:
> >
> > Scott J. Rogers wrote:
> > >
> > > Hello everyone!
> > >
> > > I want to let you know that i'm posting this to tell everybody
> > > about my
> > > landscape contractor service.
> >
> > SPAM! And also stupid!
> >
> > Anyone spamming groups to which they are not a regular member should
> > know that the regulare\s would never give a dime to s jerk like you!
S. Jerk here forgets that Gardens, and therefore Landscape
Contractors, are part of Real Life, and hence of no interest
whatsoever to us social-lifeless AFPers.
> >
> > In addition, you are probably in bum-filk town. Not anywhere near
> > anyone with a brain or a well paying job!
...Not if he can afford the Internet, he isn't. Anyway, where is
Bum-Filk town? Is it somewhere near Croyden?
> >
> > Go plany some sod you clod!
Sandy Toksvig: "Now Plany is an Irish word, I encountered this when I
was in Dublin just the other week..."
*ARGH*clunk...urgh.
> Have you ever been to Hodgepodge Lodge?
Isn't that somewhere near... Croyden?
Adam Jones
Allegedly, Derek Lavin is alleged to have alleged:
>
>> Hodgepodge wrote:
>> > In addition, you are probably in bum-filk town. Not anywhere near
>> > anyone with a brain or a well paying job!
>
>....Not if he can afford the Internet, he isn't. Anyway, where is
>Bum-Filk town? Is it somewhere near Croyden?
...
>> Have you ever been to Hodgepodge Lodge?
>
>Isn't that somewhere near... Croyden?
Derek here espousing his theory that Croydon is the centre of the
universe.[1][2] There's probably some deep, hideous psychological
reason for this.[4]
--
Adam Jones (Ad...@yggdrasl.demon.co.uk)(http://www.yggdrasl.demon.co.uk/)
When all that's left to do is reflect on what's been done,
This is where sadness breathes, the sadness of everyone.
- Live, The Dam At Otter Creek
[1] And therefore, on average, nearer to everywhere than anywhere
else.[3]
[2] Well, a "black hole" might be a perfectly apt description of
Croydon, I'd agree, but I'd hate to live in a universe which
began there.
[3] OK, cue pedants to point out that this is total garbage... ;)
[4] Only I'm damned[5] if I can think of one.
[5] Quite possibly ;) Come to that, _can_ an atheist be damned? ;)
Derek Lavin
In message <961227162...@yggdrasl.demon.co.uk>
Adam Jones <Ad...@yggdrasl.demon.co.uk> writes:
> Derek here espousing his theory that Croydon is the centre of the
> universe.[1][2] There's probably some deep, hideous psychological
> reason for this.[4]
No. Blackburn is the centre of the universe. Croyden, however, as you
know, has a population far too big for it's own good, hence it is
filled with so much junk. The high concentration of sentient minds
causes slight ruptures in the space/ time continuum, removing all
physical dimentians (sic) from the city and making it omnipresent.
This means that every single point in the infinite universe in which
we reside is near to... Croyden. It also means that it is the easiest
city in the world to get lost in.
Now that theory is copyright, so I don't want any humourous authors
who might, for reasons unknown to us, be hanging out here trying to nick it.
Random Companion
In article <199612272...@zetnet.co.uk>, Derek Lavin
<sl...@zetnet.co.uk> writes
bookshops in Croydon. Waterstones on it's own must have L-space entry
points in it somewhere.
--
Random Companion
The Unofficial rec.arts.drwho / alt.fan.pratchett / uk.media.tv.sf.drwho /
alt.drwho.creative Quotefile!
http://www.espace.demon.co.uk/quotes.html
Derek Lavin
In message <gC4ivGAQ...@espace.demon.co.uk>
Random Companion <Random_C...@espace.demon.co.uk> writes:
> Don't be silly.
...Sorry. I'll try harder next time ;).
> It's got more to do with the unfeasible number of
> bookshops in Croydon. Waterstones on it's own must have L-space entry
> points in it somewhere.
Ah, yes. But L-Space, surely, is an infinity *WITHIN A FINITE SPACE*;
like fractals, folding in on itself. Bigger on the inside than the
outside. The Croyden Phenomenon - as I shall choose to call it - has
more to do with the it being neither bigger, nor smaller, nor the
same size, on the inside than the outside. Infinite in all
dimensions, including time, space, weirdness and dirtiness. Hmm. Yes.
Random Companion
In article <199612301...@zetnet.co.uk>, Derek Lavin
<sl...@zetnet.co.uk> writes
>> It's got more to do with the unfeasible number of
>> bookshops in Croydon. Waterstones on it's own must have L-space entry
>> points in it somewhere.
>
>Ah, yes. But L-Space, surely, is an infinity *WITHIN A FINITE SPACE*;
>like fractals, folding in on itself. Bigger on the inside than the
>outside. The Croyden Phenomenon - as I shall choose to call it - has
>more to do with the it being neither bigger, nor smaller, nor the
>same size, on the inside than the outside. Infinite in all
>dimensions, including time, space, weirdness and dirtiness. Hmm. Yes.
>
would explain the 5'6" bloke with the ? brolly and matching jumper
wandering round East Croydon refusing to answer to any name but The
Doctor.
Derek Lavin
In message <ncADowC$GCyy...@espace.demon.co.uk>
Random Companion <Random_C...@espace.demon.co.uk> writes:
> Firstly CROYDON!!! IT'S ***ON****! not EN! Ahem. Secondly, I suppose it
> would explain the 5'6" bloke with the ? brolly and matching jumper
> wandering round East Croydon refusing to answer to any name but The
> Doctor.
Random. Pet. Love. What can I say? I truly... am... *SORRY*. I could
make up all sorts of excuses to explain this, but the truth is... I
honestly didn't know how to spell Croydon. Sorry. Please forgive a
poor, worthless swine.
Other sites suffering from mild Croydon Syndrome are: Salferd,
Manchestor, Pressedwhich and Iwhrfgiffc.
As for "The Doctor" - well, he's far too polite to tell anyone that
he's actually a gynaecologist (sp?) ;)