[I] A Garden Opera?
Nigel Stapley
On Sunday afternoon, I was in the front garden, desperately trying to
subjugate the lawn, when a pick-up truck went past.
On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping". So....
"I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
I'll beautify your land for you if you will only pardon a
Degree of dislocation, for I need a lot of latitude.
Your plot's got capabilities, if you'll excuse the platitude.
I'll sculpt your lawns so smoothly, whether you prefer to plough or mow,
I'll turn your grotty back yard into something from a flower show ;
Or you might prefer organic, for to let God's little creatures grow.
And, as it's trendy, I can show you where the water features go.
I can put in great big fences for to keep your dogs and cats inside,
Or a makeover surprise to keep your crabby missus satisfied.
And when she sees it, if she faints, I beg you not be hard on her,
For I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener!"
--
Regards,
Nigel Stapley
(remove <gwrthsbam.> to reply)
"Why can't I be different and original...like everybody else?"
(V. Stanshall (1943-95))
Andy Davison
<3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
> On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping".
Are they anything to do with the building supplies company "George Sands"?
--
Andy Davison
an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk
Nigel Stapley
"Andy Davison" <an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk> wrote in message
news:pan.2003.05.27....@oiyou.force9.co.uk...
> On Tue, 27 May 2003 18:23:03 +0100, Nigel Stapley wrote in message
> <3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
>
> > On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping".
>
> Are they anything to do with the building supplies company "George Sands"?
Only if you're Chopin around...
DinkiPixie
news:3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com...
> "I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
Oh, delightful.
Jonathan Ellis
"Nigel Stapley" <nsta...@gwrthsbam.lineone.net> wrote in message
news:3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com...
>
> On Sunday afternoon, I was in the front garden, desperately trying
to
> subjugate the lawn, when a pick-up truck went past.
>
> On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping". So....
>
> "I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
> I'll beautify your land for you if you will only pardon a
> Degree of dislocation, for I need a lot of latitude.
> Your plot's got capabilities, if you'll excuse the platitude.
> I'll sculpt your lawns so smoothly, whether you prefer to plough or
mow,
> I'll turn your grotty back yard into something from a flower show ;
> Or you might prefer organic, for to let God's little creatures grow.
> And, as it's trendy, I can show you where the water features go.
> I can put in great big fences for to keep your dogs and cats inside,
> Or a makeover surprise to keep your crabby missus satisfied.
> And when she sees it, if she faints, I beg you not be hard on her,
> For I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener!"
I don't usually OLF but...
***MEGA APPLAUSE***
and if you're at CCDE-2003 (assuming there is such a thing) there's a
beer waiting for you ;-)
Jonathan.
CoriolisDave
>
> "Andy Davison" <an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:pan.2003.05.27....@oiyou.force9.co.uk...
> > On Tue, 27 May 2003 18:23:03 +0100, Nigel Stapley wrote in message
> > <3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
> >
> > > On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping".
> >
> > Are they anything to do with the building supplies company "George
Sands"?
>
> Only if you're Chopin around...
>
>
Andy Davison
<3ed3d7c7$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
>
> "Andy Davison" <an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:pan.2003.05.27....@oiyou.force9.co.uk...
>> On Tue, 27 May 2003 18:23:03 +0100, Nigel Stapley wrote in message
>> <3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
>>
>> > On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping".
>>
>> Are they anything to do with the building supplies company "George
>> Sands"?
>
> Only if you're Chopin around...
George Sands is a real company supplying aggregates to the building trade.
A quick google found the following as the company is now part of Coppard.
http://www.coppard.co.uk/pages/coppard_companyprofile.htm
--
Andy Davison
an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk
sjb351
> No, it's nothing to do with browsing....
>
> On Sunday afternoon, I was in the front garden, desperately trying to
> subjugate the lawn, when a pick-up truck went past.
>
> On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping". So....
>
> "I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
> I'll beautify your land for you if you will only pardon a
> Degree of dislocation, for I need a lot of latitude.
> Your plot's got capabilities, if you'll excuse the platitude.
> I'll sculpt your lawns so smoothly, whether you prefer to plough or mow,
> I'll turn your grotty back yard into something from a flower show ;
> Or you might prefer organic, for to let God's little creatures grow.
> And, as it's trendy, I can show you where the water features go.
> I can put in great big fences for to keep your dogs and cats inside,
> Or a makeover surprise to keep your crabby missus satisfied.
> And when she sees it, if she faints, I beg you not be hard on her,
> For I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener!"
"Your plot's got capabilities" is a platitude? Wotta spectacular vernacular
you have there.....
Well done.
--
_____________________
Stupidity = Naivety x Time
Nigel Stapley
"CoriolisDave" <peon...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:bb1a1d$49huo$1...@ID-195743.news.dfncis.de...
I Offenbach with laughter.
(Oh, no, I get the terrible feeling this is about to turn into one of
*those* threads.....)
--
Regards,
Nigel Stapley
(remove <gwrthsbam.> to reply)
"Nobody loves a smart-arse"
Nigel Stapley
"sjb351" <sjb...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:3ed47b97$0$2122$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
It is a platitude in gardening terms, in relation to how "Capability" Brown
got his nickname...
....On the same grounds (as it were) that I might be called "Culpability"
Stapley.
>
> Well done.
Ta muchly.
CoriolisDave
>
> "CoriolisDave" <peon...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:bb1a1d$49huo$1...@ID-195743.news.dfncis.de...
> >
> > "Nigel Stapley" <nsta...@gwrthsbam.lineone.net> wrote in message
> > news:3ed3d7c7$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com...
> > >
> > > "Andy Davison" <an...@oiyou.force9.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > news:pan.2003.05.27....@oiyou.force9.co.uk...
> > > > On Tue, 27 May 2003 18:23:03 +0100, Nigel Stapley wrote in message
> > > > <3ed39efa$1...@mk-nntp-1.news.uk.worldonline.com>:
> > > >
> > > > > On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping".
> > > >
> > > > Are they anything to do with the building supplies company "George
> > Sands"?
> > >
> > > Only if you're Chopin around...
> > >
> > >
> > Oho, that was good.. made me Bach with laughter.
>
> I Offenbach with laughter.
>
> (Oh, no, I get the terrible feeling this is about to turn into one of
> *those* threads.....)
>
>
You might be right.. and the jokes in some of these threads are so old as to
be covered in Verdigris
Guitar Huw
sjb351
I'm getting Straussed out about all this.
CoriolisDave
Well, hopefully with Gluck it won't go on too long.
Steve James
> No, it's nothing to do with browsing....
>
> On Sunday afternoon, I was in the front garden, desperately trying to
> subjugate the lawn, when a pick-up truck went past.
>
> On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping". So....
>
> "I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
>
I think this is the sort of thing that William Schwenck Gilbert would have
foreseen for many of his compositions. They lend themselves to parody
and updating.
Well done.
Steve (Steeljam) *BF DAcFD (UU) *
Resident Opsimath in Redivivus Studies
The Stainless Steel Cat
"CoriolisDave" <peon...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>You might be right.. and the jokes in some of these threads are so old as to
>be covered in Verdigris
Well, if you don't grease your Verdi regularly it'll seize up and before
you know it the Handel's dropped off.
Cat.
--
Jazz-Loving Soul Mate and poet to CCA
La Rustimuna ^Stalkato
Ssirienna
"The Stainless Steel Cat" <stee...@atuin.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:BAFD6B5C9...@atuin.demon.co.uk...
> In article <bb390d$58k2c$1...@ID-195743.news.dfncis.de>,
> "CoriolisDave" <peon...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> >You might be right.. and the jokes in some of these threads are so old as
to
> >be covered in Verdigris
>
> Well, if you don't grease your Verdi regularly it'll seize up and before
> you know it the Handel's dropped off.
>
need to look after nice things - paintings, antiques and the like
Why *just* the other day I was saying "Mo 'z'art - 'at iz"
(g,d&r ;)
Ssirienna
--
Garfield wakes with manic grin on face
Jon - "You woke up with a smile!"
Garfield - "I know .... Help Me!"
(c) Garfield 09/19/03
ben
Nigel Stapley <nsta...@gwrthsbam.lineone.net> wrote:
> No, it's nothing to do with browsing....
>
> On Sunday afternoon, I was in the front garden, desperately trying to
> subjugate the lawn, when a pick-up truck went past.
>
> On the side, it said, "G & S Landscaping". So....
>
> "I am the very model of a modern landscape gardener,
Bloody excellent! I wish I was even slightly creative.
Ben Ruddock
Nigel Stapley
"ben" <ben_r...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:TU%Ca.32381$9C6.1...@wards.force9.net...
Ta.
I just wish I were *consistently* creative - I could make a living out of
doing that instead of being a sysadmin.
--
Regards,
Nigel Stapley
(I have no e-mail address for Usenet posts at the moment. I got broadband
this evening, and it's taking an age to set things up)