Book Signings (Q. for Terry)

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Neil L Cook

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Apr 29, 1993, 11:36:03 AM4/29/93
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This is a question about book signings.

Since Terry is coming to Nottingham, I will naturally go along
to the signing. I have never been to a signing before.

My question is this: Given that the universe is infinite, and that
god is also infinite, is it bad etiquette to bring ALL my Discworld
books to be signed? I have every book, except Small Gods. Should I
just bring my favourite book? Would a banana daquiri help my case
for bringing all of them? Oh yes, and would anyone like any toast?

inquiring minds want to know...

Neil.

Richard Salter

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Apr 29, 1993, 1:44:51 PM4/29/93
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Neil L Cook (n...@nyquist.cs.nott.ac.uk) wrote:
: This is a question about book signings.

I'll have a muffin (misses).

Seriously though, I don't think you quite get the idea of these signings. What
you're supposed to do is buy Terry's latest book at the extortionate hardback
price and he will sign it for you. It's called promoting your book. The author
sells lots of copies, the bookshop gets lots of customers and the public get
to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).

I say bugger that, take all your books, annoy the bookshop and give Terry
writer's cramp. Go for it.

: inquiring minds want to know...

Bye the way Terry, when you come to Brighton I'll come and buy a paperback
copy of Small Gods (on my limited budget). I'll try and wear something fish
related so that you know who I am (so that you can move quickly to another
part of the shop).

Happy Halibut VII
--
###################################################################
# ......Expect some madness in your mailbox...... #
###################################################################
# // #
# ri...@cogs.susx.ac.uk // "from rags to richs" #
# // #
###################################################################

Whiplash

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Apr 30, 1993, 3:24:50 AM4/30/93
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I have also never been to a book signing of any way shape or form and have
absolutely no idea what goes on at these thangs so if someone would care to
enlighten us poor newbies I would be grateful!

Do people _really_ take shopping bags full of books? I was thinking along the
lines of taking maybe "Only you can save..." seeing as it's my only hardback
*&) and thats all. Jees - if I was an author and people brought along loads
of books each to my book signings it would probably take me about 10
nanoseconds to get really really fed up (plus my handwriting is soooo bad they
wouldnt have a hope in hell of reading any of it anyway *&) how do you dig it
Terry?

Are these things advertised? I ask cos I've never heard of a book signing by
_anyone_ before in Warrington *&) it's kind of small, and everyone there I
ever mention (proudly) to that I use a kind of news/chattering thang which is
also graced by the presence of The_Great_Terry_P says "Terry who?" so I wonder
how many other people will turn up. It's not as tho Bookland ever have more
than 3 of his books in at any one time anyway *&) (I wonder if they will
tactfully remedy this in preparation *&)

Anyway - splurgle over, prolog summons

~Walnut Whippy

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
* \^/ |-| | |' |' \/ * cs...@csv.warwick.ac.uk cs...@csv.warwick.ac.uk *
* / * whi...@dcs.warwick.ac.uk neww...@dcs.warwick.ac.uk *
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Neil L Cook

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Apr 30, 1993, 8:21:59 AM4/30/93
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In article <1993Apr29.1...@syma.sussex.ac.uk>, ri...@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Richard Salter) writes:
|> to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).
|>
|> I say bugger that, take all your books, annoy the bookshop and give Terry
|> writer's cramp. Go for it.
|>

Hehe. Might be a possibility.

|> : inquiring minds want to know...
|>
|> Bye the way Terry, when you come to Brighton I'll come and buy a paperback
|> copy of Small Gods (on my limited budget). I'll try and wear something fish
|> related so that you know who I am (so that you can move quickly to another
|> part of the shop).

Hmm, everyone in my research group already thinks I'm a complete saddo
for being such a TP fan anyway.
Also, since the principal "you're a saddo" person reads this group,(Hi Adrian),
I don't get to post such messages. I just got a display stand from the
University bookshop with T.P. sitting atop a pile of Diskworld worlds.
Everyone here thinks I'm going to turn it into a shrine to T.P. I
can't afford all the candles at the mo.

Ok, ObSadSuggestion coming up -

Terry - why don't you visit our research group at the University - we
can show you lots of cool demos, and you can sign all my books. It's
only 5 mins from town. Oh god, I'm really gonna get it in the neck for
this one. I might not be coming into work for days when they find out
I've suggested this.

Neil "I'm not really a saddo" Cook.

Terry Pratchett

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May 1, 1993, 2:14:42 AM5/1/93
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In article <1993Apr29.1...@syma.sussex.ac.uk> ri...@syma.sussex.ac.uk writes:
>
>Seriously though, I don't think you quite get the idea of these signings. What
>you're supposed to do is buy Terry's latest book at the extortionate hardback
>price and he will sign it for you. It's called promoting your book. The author
>sells lots of copies, the bookshop gets lots of customers and the public get
>to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).

Actually, it's not. Well, not a lot.
The rules are:
1) I'll sign anything I've written, however ancient it is. Blessed are the
poor, for they shall have only the antique NEL remaindered copy of Strata
bought from Sol's Book Exchange for 20p.
2) I'll sign as many books as time allows. If it's obvious right at the start
that there's lots of people with tons of books, then restrictions might be
imposed -- simply because, if they're not, some people won't get anything
signed. The classic technique used by hardened queuers is to get a few signed
and go to the back of the queue, which means that I get to see the same people
six times. Or the bag can be left with the shop and I'll do them when the
queue is over, if there's time.
3) I don't sign parts of the body, even if they're still attached.
4) Bribes are not necessary. I particulary recall some variations on the
theme of the banana daquiri -- the banana G&T at Reading in particular.

Terry

Happy Halibut VI

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May 2, 1993, 12:53:19 PM5/2/93
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In article <736236...@unseen.demon.co.uk>, tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk (Terry Pratchett) writes:
|> In article <1993Apr29.1...@syma.sussex.ac.uk> ri...@syma.sussex.ac.uk writes:
|> >
|> >Seriously though, I don't think you quite get the idea of these signings. What
|> >you're supposed to do is buy Terry's latest book at the extortionate hardback
|> >price and he will sign it for you. It's called promoting your book. The author
|> >sells lots of copies, the bookshop gets lots of customers and the public get
|> >to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).
|>
|> Actually, it's not. Well, not a lot.
|> The rules are:
|> 1) I'll sign anything I've written, however ancient it is. Blessed are the
|> poor, for they shall have only the antique NEL remaindered copy of Strata
|> bought from Sol's Book Exchange for 20p.

Ah, well. In that case I'll bring my paperback collection of DW novels.
By the way, Terry, has it occurred to you that the more you sign, the less
the value of books with your signature will be. I mean, who is going to
pay extra for a copy of Small Gods that's been signed, if everybody has a
copy of Small Gods that's been signed. You could autograph yourself out of
business! I admit it's doubtful but still.....

|> 2) I'll sign as many books as time allows. If it's obvious right at the start
|> that there's lots of people with tons of books, then restrictions might be
|> imposed -- simply because, if they're not, some people won't get anything
|> signed. The classic technique used by hardened queuers is to get a few signed
|> and go to the back of the queue, which means that I get to see the same people
|> six times. Or the bag can be left with the shop and I'll do them when the
|> queue is over, if there's time.

Ever considered opening a production line. Perhaps you should hire help to
turn pages, copy your signature etc. You could sign the first of each bunch
of books and then your underlings could copy your signature and message into
the others. Do you do messages? Do you songs? Do you do stand up routines in
the middle of Waterstones?

|> 3) I don't sign parts of the body, even if they're still attached.

Damn. Puts a block on that idea then. Perhaps you could sign an entire body.
"Please would you sign my aunty Betty, Mr Pratchett?"

|> 4) Bribes are not necessary. I particulary recall some variations on the
|> theme of the banana daquiri -- the banana G&T at Reading in particular.

Buying one of Terry's books, however, is. Call me a cynic....

|>
|> Terry

Happy Halibut II

Campbell March

unread,
May 3, 1993, 4:45:14 PM5/3/93
to

> 3) I don't sign parts of the body, even if they're still attached.

Though I do have my favourite Tshirt (from DisCONtinuity, Easter '92, Auckland,
New Zealand) in white with a Purple 'Discontinuity 92' and a neato picture of
the luggage, with the signature of my favourite author (Yes, Terry. Shut up,
who else would it be?) on the back. I was in it at the time, but I guess it
didn't count as a body part.

> Terry

Sasquatch
===============================================================================
big...@kauri.vuw.ac.nz Lunatic for Hire: Enquire within
Ask not for whom the bell tolls:
Campbell Ma...@real.life the butler will get it.
==B=E===Q=U=I=C=K=.=.=.===O=R===B=E===D=E=A=D=.=.=.============================

Brucha S. Meyers

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May 3, 1993, 5:32:55 PM5/3/93
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In <736236...@unseen.demon.co.uk> tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk writes:

> In article <1993Apr29.1...@syma.sussex.ac.uk> ri...@syma.sussex.ac.uk
> writes:
>>
>>Seriously though, I don't think you quite get the idea of these signings. What
>>you're supposed to do is buy Terry's latest book at the extortionate hardback
>>price and he will sign it for you. It's called promoting your book. The author
>>sells lots of copies, the bookshop gets lots of customers and the public get
>>to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).
>
> Actually, it's not. Well, not a lot.
> The rules are:
> 1) I'll sign anything I've written, however ancient it is. Blessed are the
> poor, for they shall have only the antique NEL remaindered copy of Strata
> bought from Sol's Book Exchange for 20p.
> 2) I'll sign as many books as time allows. If it's obvious right at the start
> that there's lots of people with tons of books, then restrictions might be
> imposed -- simply because, if they're not, some people won't get anything
> signed. The classic technique used by hardened queuers is to get a few signed
> and go to the back of the queue, which means that I get to see the same people
> six times. Or the bag can be left with the shop and I'll do them when the
> queue is over, if there's time.

(stuff deleted)
> Terry

True. At the signing in Bolingbrook, Illinois, he signed everything I
brought and bought-- and I didn't even buy my copy of _Witches Abroad_ (the
book that store was promoting) there!

Sincerely, ___ ___ _ ___ ___
_____ | | .| | . | _ "A sig.file does mean
/|/ \ | | ___| | | ___|_ | | signature, right?",
/ | | T : | / the newbie wondered.
/ |______/ . ____ . . _____ / ____ ____
/ \ |/ \ | | / \ |/ \ / \
/| | | | | /| /| | | |
/ | | / /\ /| / | / | | /| |
/ \_____/___/ / \____/ \___/ \_____/ | \___/ \____/ \___

Adrian Ogden

unread,
May 4, 1993, 5:47:40 AM5/4/93
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tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk (Terry Pratchett) writes:

>4) Bribes are not necessary. I particulary recall some variations on the
>theme of the banana daquiri -- the banana G&T at Reading in particular.

For the uninitiated, this delicacy can be easily made by following these
simple instructions.

1) peel a large banana.
2) put it in a gin & tonic.
3) attempt to drink it without the banana falling out.

I can see why that one would stick in the memory, and in some cases
the eyeball.

>Terry


<< Adrian Ogden -- "Sic Biscuitus Disintegrat" -- a...@csres.cs.rdg.ac.uk >>

"Nothing dear, I was just saying 'millibrachiite tentacular coelenterates'."

Richard Dalton

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May 4, 1993, 9:46:46 AM5/4/93
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ri...@syma.sussex.ac.uk (Richard Salter) writes:

[Stuff deleted]

>Seriously though, I don't think you quite get the idea of these signings. What
>you're supposed to do is buy Terry's latest book at the extortionate hardback
>price and he will sign it for you. It's called promoting your book. The author
>sells lots of copies, the bookshop gets lots of customers and the public get
>to meet their favourite writer (and also to lose vast amounts of money).

Yeah, thank god they release a book in paperback at the same time! Otherwise i'd
never get any signed.

Rich 'Z'


===============================================================================
Richard Dalton | Computing Laboratory
Email: Richard...@Newcastle.ac.uk | University of Newcastle Upon Tyne
===============================================================================

S A G Granville

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May 6, 1993, 12:23:49 PM5/6/93
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>This is a question about book signings.

So is this !
>
I know this is completely sad, but seeing as how I have been revising
for my finals I think that I am excused. You see that I haven't read
a.f.p. for a few weeks so missed the original tour post. Could
someone then post me the original post, and will Terry be launching
_Men At Arms_ then (if that's the new book of course - like I said I
have been pretty much out of for about three weeks).

Please don't tell me if I've already missed the Bath date (if there
was one) as I'd rather not know.

Milk (yes I am a dairy product passed my sell by date)


Maxlex the Yclept

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May 7, 1993, 2:33:53 AM5/7/93
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>Actually, it's not. Well, not a lot.
>The rules are:
>1) I'll sign anything I've written, however ancient it is. Blessed are the
>poor, for they shall have only the antique NEL remaindered copy of Strata
>bought from Sol's Book Exchange for 20p.

Thats true you know. I've seen Terry sign his quote on the back of
a Robert Rankin book- just to prove he really wrote it.

Chris

Dominic Dunlop

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May 5, 1993, 5:43:16 AM5/5/93
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In article <1993May...@cogs.sussex.ac.uk> ri...@cogs.sussex.ac.uk
(Happy Halibut VI) writes:

> By the way, Terry, has it occurred to you that the more you sign, the less
> the value of books with your signature will be.

But, the more are signed, the greater the value of the unsigned ones
will be. (Unfortunately my collection is not unblemished: Good Omens
is signed by one of the authors. Last copy in the shop, and it
happened to be signed...)
--
Dominic Dunlop

Quetzal

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May 12, 1993, 12:08:02 AM5/12/93
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tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk (Terry Pratchett) writes:

>The rules are:
>1) I'll sign anything I've written, however ancient it is. Blessed are the
>poor, for they shall have only the antique NEL remaindered copy of Strata
>bought from Sol's Book Exchange for 20p.

>3) I don't sign parts of the body, even if they're still attached.

. . . why? Because you didn't write parts of the body? :)

Oh, never mind. I've got my signed Small Gods now, I'm happy.

--
Tim "Quetzal" Pickett que...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
"Mwhath's a humanhh?" ins...@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au

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