[I] Dealing with bad temper
Sylvain Chambon
Lately I've been stressed, tired, ill and stuff. Normally that wouldn't
be worth mentioning, except that in times like this, I tend to get very
short-tempered. And blow things out of all measure. And lash out very
aggressively at people with no valid reason. Usually these people are
the "handy targets", that is to say, my friends.
I've done it again last week-end. I think I've repaired the damage as
much as I could but well, you know what they say, things said can't be
unsaid.
So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
to hold my temper in check.
Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
Sylvain.
Beth Winter
>
<snip>
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
Probably each person has their own way, but I work off stress by
physical workout, whether at the gym or just some callanetics at home; a
good workout usually gives me enough endorphins for a day or two. And
when I feel about to burst, I just drop everything and walk away - in
the long run, less ill effects.
--
Beth Winter
The Discworld Compendium <http://www.extenuation.net/disc/>
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods and the season of mists."
-- Neil Gaiman
Irnbrupisshead
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>> to hold my temper in check.
And Beth Winter kindly offered the advice...
>Probably each person has their own way, but I work off stress by
>physical workout, whether at the gym or just some callanetics at home; a
>good workout usually gives me enough endorphins for a day or two.
Now there I have to agree with Miss Winter...but a possible change of diet as
well? I cut out sugary snacks and caffinated sugary drinks so that the mood
swings were less intense and I'm more measured in my responses. Eat more fruit
and drink more water
Course, you don't have to do this..it's just what has worked for me.
ibp
----------------------------------------------------------------
When you've seen the sunrise and the sunset and the whole day in between...
It all seems worth it.
M.S.R
> Now there I have to agree with Miss Winter...but a possible change of
> diet as well? I cut out sugary snacks and caffinated sugary drinks so
>
Has Irnbrupisshead given up Irn Bru? or iron brew, or any other cheap,
supermarket alternatives?
that the mood swings were less intense and I'm more measured in my
> responses. Eat more fruit and drink more water
>
> Course, you don't have to do this..it's just what has worked for me.
> ibp
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> When you've seen the sunrise and the sunset and the whole day in
> between... It all seems worth it.
--
My parents are nothing but puppets
in this show I call my life
I am the puppet master
My Family - BBC1
Lodestone
news:slrnapmeoo...@fifokaswiti.wanadoo.fr...
I'm someone who has a dangerous temper, too. Withotu wishing to soudn
cliched, the only thing to do, for me that is, is to let all the aggravation
that would otherwise pile up out slowly - in a trickle.
You can do this various ways:
Have a stress ball, or a wall that you can safely punch every so often
Be wildly extroverted - bounce around a lot, be generally enthusiastic and
get on everyone's nerves
Make small sarcastic comments now and again
Listen to extremely soothing music
Go for long philosophical walks
Er...
I may think fo more...
--
Lodestone
Happy the man, and happy he alone,
He who can call today his own,
He who secure within can say,
"Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today."
(Homer - Ode to the Man, as recited in "Tom Jones")
PussInSpooks
>From: Sylvain Chambon gou...@lepcf.org
>I tend to get very
>short-tempered. And blow things out of all measure. And lash out very
>aggressively at people with no valid reason. Usually these people are
>the "handy targets", that is to say, my friends.
>
>I've done it again last week-end. I think I've repaired the damage as
>much as I could but well, you know what they say, things said can't be
>unsaid.
>
>So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>to hold my temper in check.
>
>Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>
>Sylvain.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
I think you have already managed the first step, which is to be aware of it.
The tricky thing is to *stay* aware of it and to be aware of the fact that your
reactions are out of kilter for the moment. Some ways of doing this can be as
blunt as leaving yourself little messages around the place, some of those
little notes with boiled slug glue can be good for this.
The other thing that can work is to try and remove yourslef from a situation
before it escalates. This might mean changing a topic of conversation or even
excusing yourself to go and get a breath of air or something.
Whatever you do, remind yourself frequently that this isn't the way you usually
are and that it will pass.
Good luck
Mary Messall
> Hum. I have a problem.
> Lately I've been stressed, tired, ill and stuff. Normally that wouldn't
> be worth mentioning, except that in times like this, I tend to get very
> short-tempered. And blow things out of all measure. And lash out very
> aggressively at people with no valid reason. Usually these people are
> the "handy targets", that is to say, my friends.
Surely the best thing you can do is try to boost your own mood. If
you're not stressed, tired, ill and unhappy, you won't have to try to
hold your temper in check. Of course, it's somewhat easier said than
done, this being happy business.
I am consciously trying to keep my own spirits up this semester. It's a
matter of distracting myself from myself. Either immersing in my work,
or, when I become disgusted with that, frustrated and angry and feeling
like a failure, hunting through the library or video store or whatever
for something, anything else to catch my interest. As long as I'm
interested in something else, I'm not sulking or panicking about my own
life.
And, cliche though it is, I find enormous comfort in counting my
blessings. So many people would give anything to have my life instead
of their own, it seems churlish not to enjoy it.
But these are all temporary measures. The only thing that really makes
me feel good long-term is actually succeeding at something. Or
sometimes, I can convince myself that some failure isn't really
important after all. Philosophical acceptance.
I'm talking about myself, when I'm supposed to be sympathizing and
advising you. But I only have experience of my own psychology. I can
tell you what I do; I don't know what will work for you. You must have
your own internal resources to draw on, to dodge discouragement. I
think that's the only thing that's going to make you easy-going again.
Actual contentment.
-Mary
--
{I drank at every vine. / The last was like the first. / I came upon
no wine / So wonderful as thirst.} {"Heaven bless the babe!" they said
"What queer books she must have read!"} -two by Edna St Vincent Millay
http://indagabo.orcon.net.nz/ -> my soapbox and grandstand and gallery
Marco Villalta
<snip>
> You can do this various ways:
>
<snip>
> Listen to extremely soothing music
No. Listen to *angry* music. Loudly. The final movement of
Vivaldi's Summer is good.
The emotion of the music will quite efficiently channel out your
own rage, and leave you too tired to be angry yourself anymore.
Listening to calm and soothing music may by all means work, but
if you're not succeptible enough at the moment, chances are great
that you'll just be frustrated with the lack of action, and
you'll just bottle it all up. While angry and agressive music
will give you all the action you want, and drain your anger right
out of you.
--
Marco Villalta
Well, it works for me.
Julia Jones
Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> writes
>So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>to hold my temper in check.
Other people have suggested most of these already, but hey, if it
works... Any or all of the below can help give you a chance to calm
down, depending on what works for you, how stressed out you are, and
what is actually feasible:
remove yourself from other people when you feel your temper start to
rise (not always easy or even possible, I know)
work off the adrenaline with physical activity such as a brisk walk or
even one of those squeezy balls
put on some calming music
try eating some comfort food (but not too much)
*don't* overdo the alcohol - even your normal consumption might be too
much
try a patience card game with real bits of card and ink, not on the
computer - the flickering on a computer screen can aggravate your stress
without you realising
and if it got away from you, grovel as soon as you've calmed down enough
to realise that you should do so.
--
Julia Jones
The suespammers.org mail server is located in California; do not send
unsolicited bulk e-mail or unsolicited commercial e-mail to my suespammers.org
address.
Julia Jones
<marcos_b...@hotmail.com> writes
need to go and calm down, seriously angry music will simply wind me up
even more without giving me release, whereas calming music can bring me
down to a level where I can get control of myself. But people do vary -
you need to do what works for you.
Eric Jarvis
> "Sylvain Chambon" <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote in message
> news:slrnapmeoo...@fifokaswiti.wanadoo.fr...
> >
> > to hold my temper in check.
>
> I'm someone who has a dangerous temper, too. Withotu wishing to soudn
> cliched, the only thing to do, for me that is, is to let all the aggravation
> that would otherwise pile up out slowly - in a trickle.
>
it very much depends on the person and the situation...perhaps what is
happening IS the aggravation and stress trickling out in what the
subconscious thinks is manageable doses
there are two things that are generally applicable
you can target your anger...always get angry with the real enemy...the
thing that actually causes the problem...and use the anger as a motivation
to fix it...don't get angry with the person, get angry with a bad idea
they have, or a mistake they make...but never get angry with them for
existing...never let it spill over beyond the thing you are angry at
I wish I could actually do that one...I'm working on it though
above all you need to fix the things that get you stressed and run
down...tough to do...but that's actually the real answer in the long term
I like my temper...I want to keep it...it makes me do things...and if I
can focus it well enough it often makes me do things I can be proud of
though I too wish I could steer it better
--
eric - afprelationships in headers
www.ericjarvis.co.uk
"I am a man of many parts,
unfortunately most are no longer in stock"
Flesh-eating dragon
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
Just tell yourself that anyone who disagrees with you about anything
at all, ever, is the scum of the earth.
If this is unhelpful, sorry :-)
Adrian.
Flesh-eating dragon
> I like my temper...I want to keep it...it makes me do things...and if I
> can focus it well enough it often makes me do things I can be proud of
> though I too wish I could steer it better
I hope this is not an uncomfortable topic drift for anyone, but I
thought I'd mention that what Eric writes is a good illustration of
the _original_ meaning of "meek", as in the qualifications for
inheriting the earth. Very few people know this.
Aristotle defined [Greek word for meek] as the midpoint between being
always angry and never angry. It implies a person who is always angry
at the right time and never at the wrong time and who has every impulse
channelled and under control. Unfortunately, nowadays the English
word has come to imply someone without any passions at all.
It's curious that Carrot, who is a reasonably good example of this
quality, is dangerously liable to inherit, if not the earth, then at
least Ankh-Morpork.
Adrian.
Danielle
> to hold my temper in check.
>
> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>
> Sylvain.
Well..like everybody else has allready mentioned..at least you know
you're doing it, that's a start. But the question remains: How come?
Bad schoolyear, wrong job or are you just temporalily not content?
I have had a very bad year, nothing seemed to work for me, I was
feeling quit alone and miserable all of the time, that is, untill I
switched jobs, took on a new hobby and started to submerce myself in
my friends.
Every now and then I invite a bunch over for some old fashioned
lasergaming, it's the best way for me to get rid of a lot of
frustration, without hurting anybody ( be it physically or mentally
)Some of my collegues started to notice the change and actually wanted
to join my therapy wargames :)
Even so, having one day a week all for myself helps a lot too. It can
be very frustrating when you have (semi)obligations 24/7, you could
feel like control has been taken out of your hands. Having 24 hours
once a week for you to do with what you like could make all the
difference in the world!
Start with the origin, treating symtoms alone can't be enough...at
least not for me
Good luck!
Danielle
"may the force be with you"
"duh!"
Kevin Golding
>I generally find that if I'm still rational enough to recognise that I
>need to go and calm down, seriously angry music will simply wind me up
>even more without giving me release, whereas calming music can bring me
>down to a level where I can get control of myself. But people do vary -
>you need to do what works for you.
The key to angry music working is the environment. Had a bad day at
work? Don't play it on the drive home as it's the kind of place you
don't want to push it any further. Now if you have a bad drive home
then shut the front door and turn the stereo up.
Make sure there's no-one around to be on the receiving end of your extra
anger. Stand in the middle of the room cursing the names of everyone
who made you feel this way, throw in a few politicians or whatnot just
for fun. Gesticulate wildly (hence the middle of the room since
breaking things will just prolong the anger) and generally just try for
a controlled explosion of emotion.
Caomhin
Jen Birren
>
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
I find shouting helps...
That is to say, enlisting the help of a friend or sitting down alone and
letting out the anger about whatever annoyed you that day, even the
trivial stuff that wouldn't matter unless you were in a bad mood
already. Punch cushions, call names, invent interesting deaths. When you
start laughing or sighing about the stupidity of the world, go and do
something else.
Pre-apologising can be useful, if I've had a bad day I often warn A.
that I may snap at him, ask me tomorrow if I really meant it ;)
Jen
Ingvar Mattsson
> Hum. I have a problem.
>
[SNIP]
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
>
> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
Speaking for myself, whenever I start feeling stressed and angry and
stuff I do one of the following:
+ Cook a damned nice dinner for friends. Cooking big complicated
dinners is amazingly soothing and eating them is nicely relaxing.
I'd recommend starting small, no reason to over-stretch. A comely
3-course dinner should eb a good starting point. I've done a
12-course, once and hope to do so again.
+ head off to the fencing club (only once a week though, so it may
require bottling the stress/anger up for a few days) and work
myself tired doing bouts.
+ Go for a walk. Head out the door, turn left or right, walk. Then
continue walking. Once you're no longer stressed, grab handy
transport home.
+ Analyse the reasons for the stress/anger and try to do something
constructively about the causes and/or the stress/anger. This may
even be "it is livable-with, short term, IGNORE".
//Ingvar
--
"I'm in 386 enchanted mode."
Lodestone
> I generally find that if I'm still rational enough to recognise that I
> need to go and calm down, seriously angry music will simply wind me up
> even more without giving me release, whereas calming music can bring me
> down to a level where I can get control of myself. But people do vary -
> you need to do what works for you.
People usually tell em this, but it doesn;t work for me at all. I play
music to contrast my moods, so that I don;t go off too far in the wrong
direction. Here's an abbreviated version of my playlist:
Too angry: Belle and Sebastian
Too slothish: Shostakovich
Too depressed: The Divine Comedy
Too happy: Radiohead
Too energetic: Michael Nyman
But don;'t worry, as I;m usually at a perfectly acceptable level of
happy-and-at-peace-with-the-world-ness, so I don;t have *that* restricted a
music tatse :-D
Lodestone
> + Go for a walk. Head out the door, turn left or right, walk. Then
> continue walking. Once you're no longer stressed, grab handy
> transport home.
This is what I usually do. Sadly, I live on a small island, where public
transport is next to nonexistent. Thereforte, I have to hope that I calm
down quickly :-D
Aquarion
gou...@lepcf.org says...
Different for each person, and each situation, I think. My favouritemost
way of de-stressing is to take a large hammer to furniture, but I don't
get to do that very often. Some swear by physical exercise, some say
listen to tapes of soothing noises of ducks being hit by french bread,
others relax by playing ultra violent computer games. (Others, me for
example, relax by reading AFP. Then realize this is making all his posts
nasty and short-tempered, and leave for a while. If you've noticed my
lack of posting, bonus point, I won't mention it again).
But do something different, and - if you can - work out what is causing
the main aspect of your stress and do what you can to balance it
somehow.
--
Aq
Richard Bos
Yeah. First of all, you're not the only one. I _can_ be quite evil-
tempered, sometimes.
As for solutions, IME the most important thing is to find out why you're
so stressed in the first place. It may not be a short-term solution, but
getting at the root of the problem is paramount. After all, if it were
merely an ordinary stressful situation, you wouldn't feel more
aggressive than otherwise.
When this happens to me, it's usually frustration, and not always in the
area I'm feeling angry about at that particular moment; for example,
ongoing frustration about a part of my job that's not going well makes
me more likely to blow my stack in private circumstances, as well. Of
course, this may not be true for you, but it works for me.
Second is finding a way to get rid of the agression. Keeping it inside
is not something everybody can do. Again, I can only say what works for
me; in this case, I find something to curse at that doesn't care what
you say. This is easy if you work with computers <g>. In any case, I try
(and don't always succeed :-( ) to shout at something that doesn't get
hurt.
Sometimes it helps just to vent my anger _at the frustrating
circumstances_. For example, nobody feels hurt personally when I utter a
dire malediction at the people at Compaq who decided to put the BIOS
information on a hard disk; or at the fact that every single server
needs to be budgeted and accounted for, no matter how badly needed, when
a new water cooler is installed just like that. In fact, sometimes
people even agree with me <g>. If I do it often enough, the anger
doesn't even build up to levels that make people turn their heads.
Richard
Chris
<snip>
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
Another thing you could try would be to (when you are not at the point
of anger), listen to your thoughts about why you are getting angry.
Something most people tend to do is catastrophise things: i.e. I
_always_ screw this up, he _always_ does something wrong, this
computer _never_ works right.
Often the statements are not true, and things like the examples above
only happen like 5%-10% of the time.
Re-working how you think of things can help, even though it sounds
unlikely.
chris.
Sylvain Chambon
In article <571406d3.02100...@posting.google.com>, Danielle wrote:
> Sylvain Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote in message
> [snipping]>
>> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>> to hold my temper in check.
>>
>> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>>
> Well..like everybody else has allready mentioned..at least you know
> you're doing it, that's a start. But the question remains: How come?
> Bad schoolyear, wrong job or are you just temporalily not content?
Very much the right job, but a bad time at the moment. Too many things
to do, too little time to do them, too much time lost in switching
contexts, as well as bad health generally. It builds up: I'm tired so I
can't really concentrate so I go home feeling stressed because I didn't
do as much as I should / could have, and exhausted, so I'll either skip
dinner or microwave some bad food, so my digestive processes are
basically yelling STOP! (and stop working altogether at times), so I'm
even more tired.
Could also be that I'm feeling lonely as I haven't entered a social
group here -- which means that I spend most weekends on trains going to
meet friends, which in turn means I'm tired, and all that.
...
But of course, I'm being silly. There's really no reason for me to be
unhappy: I have a good job, which I like (I just wish the job definition
wouldn't change every other week), I have a great flat -- for the first
time since, well, ever, I feel like I'm at home and not someone else's
place that I'm living in temporarily. I can see my friends whenever I
like since I'm only two hours' train away. My hobbies are going
fantastically well (to mention but two of them, I'm working on an
amateur film due shooting next summer, and the Francophone Pterry fan
community I largely created five years ago has taken off quite
spectacularly).
So I shouldn't be complaining, really.
> Start with the origin, treating symtoms alone can't be enough...at
> least not for me
Starting with the origin would basically mean dropping it all and
quitting my job... Not something I'm likely to do anytime soon. Firstly
I'm a coward, especially now, secondly I have debts to pay for (moving
across the continent and buying a car in the process wasn't cheap), so I
need my salary.
...
To all the people who've mentioned working out... I'm doing this already
as I started indoor climbing a couple of months ago... It's good. It's
only two hours, twice a week though, so maybe I should finding something
to do the rest of the week.
Change of diet is obviously an urgent need...
Oh, and I'll try the music and the rubbery balls :-)
Thanks to all.
Sylvain.
[Mmm, this seems to've turned into a long-winded angsty post. Not my
original intent.]
Beth Winter
>
> On 2 Oct 2002 18:29:34 GMT, Sylvain Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote:
>
> >Hum. I have a problem.
>
>
> >So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> >to hold my temper in check.
> >
> >Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>
> therapeutic.
You just reminded me of one of my favorite stress reliefs: you know how
some ways of preparing meat require it to be tenderized by being beaten
repeatedly? With a large metal hammer that looks a bit like a medieval
infantry weapon. *Incredibly* therapeutic.
Mick Molloy
Beth Winter <ren...@astercity.net> wrote in message
news:3D9CAB02...@astercity.net...
to merchant banking...
Mick
Julia Jones
<jo...@gelsalba.co.uk> writes
>
>
>>So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>>to hold my temper in check.
>>
>>Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>
>therapeutic.
>
but making it does help your emotional state
EXcuse typing. Just got baaaaaacxk from denmtist's, afteer tooth
extractio9n under general anaesthetiuc. Did not use spell checker on
this poara. Gosh, it does have an effect o my fine motor functions,
doedsn't ittttt?
Flesh-eating dragon
> Something most people tend to do is catastrophise things: i.e. I
> _always_ screw this up, he _always_ does something wrong, this
> computer _never_ works right.
>
> Often the statements are not true, and things like the examples above
> only happen like 5%-10% of the time.
>
> Re-working how you think of things can help, even though it sounds
> unlikely.
So, OTOH, can exaggerating your grievances to the point where they
become comic/parodious, and you can laugh at them. Which was partly
the point of my previous post to this thread.
Adrian.
Richard Eney
I'm not sure this will help anyone in the short term, but...
one thing you might try practicing is _deliberately_ changing your mood.
Experimenting is best done while alone, so the changes don't affect
your companions. Start with tiny changes at first, say from a mildly
annoyed mood to an ironic mood, or a pretty good mood to mildly
annoyed for a minute and then back again. This can be done without
use of music, bread, or any outside influence - just within your own mind.
Eventually you can learn that your mood is not you, and keep a basic
mood that you find useful despite annoyances. (Temporary reaction to
annoyances is not a setback as long as you can return to an even keel
quickly.)
A temporary gimmick that can help is considering the possibility
that the person who is annoying you has some good reason for their
behavior that you don't know about. This I find is more helpful
when the person is a stranger and the encounter is casual, such as
"they're driving that way because they know something awful is wrong
with their car and they're just trying to get it home before it falls
apart completely".
Or even "the mysterious powers that be are slowing me down here so
I won't be in the way ten miles up the road when the large heavy
object falls off the truck, or something like that".
=Tamar
Gunna
"Mick Molloy" <mickm...@oceanfree.net> wrote in message
news:cc4n9.6616$cP3....@news.iol.ie...
>
> Beth Winter <ren...@astercity.net> wrote in message
> news:3D9CAB02...@astercity.net...
> > John Ewing wrote:
> > >
> > > On 2 Oct 2002 18:29:34 GMT, Sylvain Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Hum. I have a problem.
> > >
> > > [snip]
> > >
> > > >So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should
> do
> > > >to hold my temper in check.
> > > >
> > > >Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
> > >
> > > Try making bread. Without a machine. Kneading bread can be very
> > > therapeutic.
> >
> > You just reminded me of one of my favorite stress reliefs: you know how
> > some ways of preparing meat require it to be tenderized by being beaten
> > repeatedly? With a large metal hammer that looks a bit like a medieval
> > infantry weapon. *Incredibly* therapeutic.
> >
drawn
> to merchant banking...
>
With a comment like that, you don't happen to be the a certain well known
Australian celebrity Mick Molloy?
Just Checking :)
Gunna.
Danielle
> [snipping some more...]>
> group here -- which means that I spend most weekends on trains going to
> meet friends, which in turn means I'm tired, and all that.
>
helps if friends live near. Venting frustration to a listening ear
only helps if getting there is easy in stead of time consuming, which
will frustrate even more!
Seems you're stuck in circles.....
> ...
>
> [ and yet more to snip...]>
>
nothing to complain about :) Look at most of the women [1] I am a firm
believer that PMS happens for a reason [2]every now and then you just
need to unwind,badly
As long as you "do unto others as they might do to you"[3], this
shouldn't create life long enemies...
[1] I should know, since I am one [4]
[2] doesn't have to be a good one, though
[3] or something like that...
[4] and lived with 7 more
Danielle
Richard Bos
> First off, big thanks to everybody who answered the question.
>
> In article <571406d3.02100...@posting.google.com>, Danielle wrote:
> > Sylvain Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote in message
> > [snipping]>
> >> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> >> to hold my temper in check.
> >>
> >> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
> >>
> > Well..like everybody else has allready mentioned..at least you know
> > you're doing it, that's a start. But the question remains: How come?
> > Bad schoolyear, wrong job or are you just temporalily not content?
>
> Very much the right job, but a bad time at the moment. Too many things
> to do, too little time to do them, too much time lost in switching
> contexts,
Sounds like you need to vent your anger - carefully - in the direction
of management. Granted, this may not always be a career-improving move,
especially if you're newish, but a good manager will realise that a more
realistic schedule is cheaper, in the long run, than a burnt-out
employee.
> as well as bad health generally. It builds up: I'm tired so I
> can't really concentrate so I go home feeling stressed because I didn't
> do as much as I should / could have, and exhausted, so I'll either skip
> dinner or microwave some bad food, so my digestive processes are
> basically yelling STOP! (and stop working altogether at times), so I'm
> even more tired.
Oooh, bad idea. One of the things you need most to get over stress is
good, healthy food. Thinking takes a lot of energy, too...
For some people (me, for one), making good food can even be a
destresser. It is so satisfying to make a really nice penne al salmone,
or a good stir-fry. Even more satisfying if you also get to eat it <g>.
As always, this may not work for you; but it might.
> Could also be that I'm feeling lonely as I haven't entered a social
> group here -- which means that I spend most weekends on trains going to
> meet friends, which in turn means I'm tired, and all that.
That, indeed, doesn't help.
> So I shouldn't be complaining, really.
Your body disagrees with this; it usually has its reasons.
> > Start with the origin, treating symtoms alone can't be enough...at
> > least not for me
>
> Starting with the origin would basically mean dropping it all and
> quitting my job...
Not necessarily. It might mean a discussion with your superiors (or your
closer colleagues) about how to stop your job from being so volatile.
> To all the people who've mentioned working out... I'm doing this already
> as I started indoor climbing a couple of months ago... It's good. It's
> only two hours, twice a week though, so maybe I should finding something
> to do the rest of the week.
Can you (and do you) cycle to work? Or even walk?
Richard
Chris
Yeah, I think with all theraputic methods, the best thing is whatever
works for you, in that you can believe in it.
chris.
Mick Molloy
Gunna <symm...@catchnet.IMSICKOFSPAM.com.au> wrote in message
news:anjisd$n5l$1...@library.lspace.org...
Mick
Andrew Spray
> I'm not sure this will help anyone in the short term, but...
> one thing you might try practicing is _deliberately_ changing your mood.
I'd just like to say, in all sincerity, that this is an extremely
interesting point of view. I'm impressed by the self-control
involved, too.
Andrew Spray
Stevie D
> It's curious that Carrot, who is a reasonably good example of this
> quality, is dangerously liable to inherit, if not the earth, then at
> least Ankh-Morpork.
The poor sod! Whatever has he done wrong to deserve that?!
--
Stevie D
\\\\\ ///// Bringing dating agencies to the
\\\\\\\__X__/////// common hedgehog since 2001 - "HedgeHugs"
___\\\\\\\'/ \'///////_____________________________________________
Stevie D
> This is what I usually do. Sadly, I live on a small island, where public
> transport is next to nonexistent. Thereforte, I have to hope that I calm
> down quickly :-D
At least if it's a small island, you can't get too far from home. On a
big island with no public transport, it would be a lot worse!
Mary Messall
> Lodestone wrote:
> > This is what I usually do. Sadly, I live on a small island, where public
> > transport is next to nonexistent. Thereforte, I have to hope that I calm
> > down quickly :-D
> At least if it's a small island, you can't get too far from home. On a
> big island with no public transport, it would be a lot worse!
Like North America?
-Mary
--
{I drank at every vine. / The last was like the first. / I came upon
no wine / So wonderful as thirst.} {"Heaven bless the babe!" they said
"What queer books she must have read!"} -two by Edna St Vincent Millay
http://indagabo.orcon.net.nz/ -> my soapbox and grandstand and gallery
rachel
> Flesh-eating dragon wrote:
>
> > It's curious that Carrot, who is a reasonably good example of this
> > quality, is dangerously liable to inherit, if not the earth, then at
> > least Ankh-Morpork.
>
> The poor sod! Whatever has he done wrong to deserve that?!
well if the meek are gonna get the earth (or the disc) then they have
to have ankh-morpork too.
François-Xavier de Montgolfier
>First off, big thanks to everybody who answered the question.
>
>In article <571406d3.02100...@posting.google.com>, Danielle wrote:
>> Sylvain Chambon <gou...@lepcf.org> wrote in message
>> [snipping]>
>>> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
>>> to hold my temper in check.
>>>
>>> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
>>>
>> Well..like everybody else has allready mentioned..at least you know
>> you're doing it, that's a start. But the question remains: How come?
>> Bad schoolyear, wrong job or are you just temporalily not content?
>
>Very much the right job, but a bad time at the moment. Too many things
>to do, too little time to do them, too much time lost in switching
>contexts, as well as bad health generally. It builds up: I'm tired so I
>can't really concentrate so I go home feeling stressed because I didn't
>do as much as I should / could have, and exhausted, so I'll either skip
>dinner or microwave some bad food, so my digestive processes are
>basically yelling STOP! (and stop working altogether at times), so I'm
>even more tired.
You're on your first year and out of your try period, right? You
should be able to get a rest day or two: your manager probably sees
how stressed and tired you are, and will probably either allow you to
have a free day as compensation for the overwork(1), or give you
anticipated vacancies, if you ask him to. If he doesn't agree, since
you're out of your depth, going to see a doctor and bullying him for
some sick leave will probably work. And you won't be cheating: when
you're so tired and stressed that your work suffers from this, you
_are_ effectively ill. And your work will speed up once you've been
able to rest some. Get some good food from a traiteur, buy a dozen
books or so, and spend your day in bed reading.
OTOH, each time I am tired, buy a dozen bboks and intend to spend my
day reading in bed, I end up buying twenty books and spending my day
and night reading, which is relaxing but doesn't truly help with the
fatigue problem ;-P
FiX
(1) contrary to popular beliefs, I found out that my managers have
always been pretty decent, and have had quite a few unnofical
vacancies just by telling them that I was on the verge of physical
break-down because of work overload, could I just have next monday to
build up some energy reserve please?
If you can't take fucking responsibility for fucking supervising your
children on the fucking internet. I suggest you stop fucking.
---Kayla's "raising children in the electronic age for Dummies"
Marco Villalta
> "Ingvar Mattsson" <ing...@cathouse.bofh.se> wrote:
>
> > + Go for a walk. Head out the door, turn left or right, walk. Then
> > continue walking. Once you're no longer stressed, grab handy
> > transport home.
>
> This is what I usually do. Sadly, I live on a small island, where public
> transport is next to nonexistent. Thereforte, I have to hope that I calm
> down quickly :-D
If it's small enough, you can do a full circle!
And if it's too small, you can do laps...
--
Marco Villalta -- afpStuff in headers
Angela
> Hum. I have a problem.
>
> be worth mentioning, except that in times like this, I tend to get very
> short-tempered. And blow things out of all measure. And lash out very
> aggressively at people with no valid reason. Usually these people are
> the "handy targets", that is to say, my friends.
>
> So. I'm here looking for tips about how to deal with it, how I should do
> to hold my temper in check.
>
> Hum, that's it. Any ideas?
How about this?
When you find youself taking out your temper on your friends,
particularily if you are in your, or their, home;
Walk away, shut yourself in the bathroom, (or go outside) lock the
door, shut any windows and *Scream*.
And then walk back out and smile.
It helps if you know you can't be heard, but even if you can, these
*are* your friends, and more often than not they'll be impressed at
just how frustrated you are, concerned, and extreemly releaved that
you didn't take it out on them.
Mind you, not such a good thing to do at work... <g>
Angela
atwork
Richard Eney wrote in message ...
>
>
>A temporary gimmick that can help is considering the possibility
>that the person who is annoying you has some good reason for their
>behavior that you don't know about. This I find is more helpful
>when the person is a stranger and the encounter is casual, such as
>"they're driving that way because they know something awful is wrong
>with their car and they're just trying to get it home before it falls
>apart completely".
>
>Or even "the mysterious powers that be are slowing me down here so
>I won't be in the way ten miles up the road when the large heavy
>object falls off the truck, or something like that".
>
>=Tamar
This really works. I used to get very angry at malfunctioning computers,
(not good when you are a computer engineer), until I realised that the
problem was not my anthropomorphising the computer, but the *way*
I was doing it. So now, instead of feeling anger at a uncooperative
computer, I now make myself feel sympathy for a faithful but sick computer.
Ben
PS. Ignore all headers etc, this a throwaway account made for testing
purposes, I never intended to post with it.