Calling all in Manchester
Bjorn Fridgeir Bjornsson
As I keep saying :-) I'll be in Manchester next weekend.
I won't make it to Dave's to watch the TV, and plan
on going to Reading on the Saturday for the birthday
meet. (Can anyone offer crashspace?)
So if any of you aren't going to Reading, how about
a quiet pint on Friday night (just realised, probably
won't make it to a pub till about 9 PM) or if
nobody offers crash space, on the Saturday.
I think it's a good idea, and so does Murky
Cheers
Bjorn
--
Björn Friðgeir Björnsson
http://www.vortex.is/~berserkr/TheLair.html
Dave Le Good
In article <336dd9ec...@news.ftech.net>,
mu...@lspace.org (Murky B) wrote:
>In alt.fan.pratchett, Bjorn Fridgeir Bjornsson was seen to say...
>>I think it's a good idea, and so does Murky
>
>Oh dear... he's invoked me.
>
>Erm, yeah. Let's do a minimeet on Friday. Is there any interest in a
>little trip to t'pub?
Sadly no can do :(
>
>Sorry that we can't offer crash space...
>
> ... is the OTHER mancmeet still on for a few weeks time?
I assume so.
Dave
Lord of Lancashire
In article <336dd9ec...@news.ftech.net>,
mu...@lspace.org (Murky B) wrote:
>In alt.fan.pratchett, Bjorn Fridgeir Bjornsson was seen to say...
>>I think it's a good idea, and so does Murky
>
>Oh dear... he's invoked me.
>
>Erm, yeah. Let's do a minimeet on Friday. Is there any interest in a
>little trip to t'pub?
>
>
> ... is the OTHER mancmeet still on for a few weeks time?
>
When and where is the Mancmeet? There may be a slim chance I could attend
(although with me only being in Salford during the day, and the workload I've
got in my final 4 weeks being immense its probably TOO slim).
Regards
His Lordship.
C Speed
mu...@lspace.org (Murky B) writes:
> ... is the OTHER mancmeet still on for a few weeks time?
I replied to this yesterday and the post has vanished. No bounces, no
warnings, no message.
So, I'll try again.
The Friday night "meet up at the bookshop and then do something" thing is
still, as far as I'm concerned, definately on. I'm looking forward to it.
The Saturday day/evening thing is less certain. I've had some people express
some interest but not having a clue what to do.
My only suggestions at present are:
1) People are more than welcome to come to our house, but that's
warrington not manchester. (We have crash space too, how much
depends on how cosy you want to be with people *&)
2) Hire a canal boat and pootle around for the day (and feed in the
evening etc).
If there is anyone interested (pratchett, asr, bofh or fysh) in sorting
something out for Saturday then let me know. Otherwise I'll just see people
on Friday.
Claire
--
******************************************************************************
* Claire Speed [ENTX] * Network & Operations Unit, Manchester Computing *
* Dial-up, ISDN, TICTAC * C.S...@mcc.ac.uk http://www.mcc.ac.uk/Claire/ *
******************************************************************************
D. Joseph Creighton
Chris Richardson <fo...@sg2.pcy.kcl.ac.uk> wrote:
}>C Speed <per...@mcc.ac.uk> wrote:
} <snip>
}>}I replied to this yesterday and the post has vanished. No bounces, no
}>}warnings, no message.
}
<Run from the evil rogue .sig! Aiieeeee!>
}>Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
}>Subject: A.B.P. on rogue .sig file
} ^^^^^
}
}I hate to be picky. Well, I don't 'cause it's 7:45pm on Friday and I'm not
}in a pub, but you get the idea. I hate to be picky, but isn't that A.P.B?
It is, it is. *sigh*
}Of course, it could be that I'm getting mixed up with my merkinisms, but I
}think A.B.P is something entirely different. alt.binaries.pengiuns, anyone?
}Alun? Anyone?
But I'm Canadian... eh?
[ infected .sig snipped ]
- Joe "and .sig condom donned" Creighton
--
"Those who live by the S-word, die by the S-word." -- Bob Dowling on a.s.r.
http://www.ee.umanitoba.ca/~djc/
D. Joseph Creighton [ESTP] | Programmer Analyst, Database Technologies, IST
Joe_Cr...@UManitoba.CA | University of Manitoba Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
D. Joseph Creighton
In article <5kupi1$j59$1...@lurch.mcc.ac.uk>, C Speed <per...@mcc.ac.uk> wrote:
}mu...@lspace.org (Murky B) writes:
}> ... is the OTHER mancmeet still on for a few weeks time?
}
}warnings, no message.
}
[ deletia ]
Oh. My. God.
That means one of your .sigs is out there...
Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
Subject: A.B.P. on rogue .sig file
Be on the lookout for the following .signature file. It is considered
highly contagious and can corrupt other .signature files upon contact.
}******************************************************************************
}* Claire Speed [ENTX] * Network & Operations Unit, Manchester Computing *
}* Dial-up, ISDN, TICTAC * C.S...@mcc.ac.uk http://www.mcc.ac.uk/Claire/ *
}******************************************************************************
- Joe "I'm immunized this time" Creighton
--
"Nothing's really sacred but a sense of humor." -- Ayn Rand
Chris Richardson
<d...@cc.umanitoba.ca>, the entity called D. Joseph Creighton, wrote:
>C Speed <per...@mcc.ac.uk> wrote:
<snip>
>}I replied to this yesterday and the post has vanished. No bounces, no
>}warnings, no message.
<Argh! Rogue .sig! ... snip>
>Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
>Subject: A.B.P. on rogue .sig file
^^^^^
I hate to be picky. Well, I don't 'cause it's 7:45pm on Friday and I'm not
in a pub, but you get the idea. I hate to be picky, but isn't that A.P.B?
Of course, it could be that I'm getting mixed up with my merkinisms, but I
think A.B.P is something entirely different. alt.binaries.pengiuns, anyone?
Alun? Anyone?
foop
--
.keeG coDtsoP latnemtrapeD ]nodnoL egelloC s'gniK ,ycamrahP[ .n:)p:uf( poof
suovren emit-laer evitavonni eht era skrowten elbaraew gnivlove yltnatsnoC"
".noziroh larutluc-ssorc txen eht fo metsys
igc.resarhPderiw/sesarhp/rgne_noswad/seeyolpme/moc.igs.ytilaer//:ptth --
--
foop (fu:p):n. [Pharmacy, King's College London] Departmental PostDoc Geek.
"Constantly evolving wearable networks are the innovative real-time nervous
system of the next cross-cultural horizon."
-- http://reality.sgi.com/employees/dawson_engr/phrases/wiredPhraser.cgi
Perry Rovers
A flock of rogue penguins inspired Chris Richardson (fo...@sg4.pcy.kcl.ac.uk) to tell alt.sysadmin.recovery:
: >Newsgroups: alt.sysadmin.recovery
: >Subject: A.B.P. on rogue .sig file
: ^^^^^
:
: I hate to be picky. Well, I don't 'cause it's 7:45pm on Friday and I'm not
: in a pub, but you get the idea. I hate to be picky, but isn't that A.P.B?
: Of course, it could be that I'm getting mixed up with my merkinisms, but I
: think A.B.P is something entirely different. alt.binaries.pengiuns, anyone?
: Alun? Anyone?
It's alt.binaries.pictures.. you take about 200Mb a.b.p, cat it to a .sig file
and throw it at the rogue .sig. You do that every day until the rogue .sig
gives up. Gets them every time. Also works on double .sigs I've heard.
What's afp doing in the ng line btw?
john shaw
Hi there everybody, especialy Lynne Green from XXXX and Steph.
Not that anyone cares but I've been ill. Changed my server and alsorts.
Even missed all Terry's stuff on the box and radio (Except for a very short
bit on that prog about the Goons last week where he appeared sans-fedora no
less.
He admited to hoping that he'd got a similar grasp of word power to Spike.
You have Terry but, did Milligan really start it all...... I like to think
he did.
Oh yes I used to be jonh...@aol.com changed to john....@virgin.net and
am staying here now with force9 on my own dworld so there.
Love to get mail so send me some.
Newbie info.
42 male South Staffordshire unattached part time dad disabled and
definately LOOKING so no WYMM's.....
Likely to accept.
John
--
---------------------------------------------------
Every time there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
Some bugger turns it off. ;)
JPG photo available but it's bloody awful. W
--
---------------------------------------------------
Every time there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
Some bugger turns it off. ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
eb page soon!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
john shaw
Terry Pratchett
In article <01bc5da6$e14e7160$LocalHost@j1>, john shaw
<j...@witsend.force9.net> writes
>
>Hi there everybody, especialy Lynne Green from XXXX and Steph.
>Not that anyone cares but I've been ill. Changed my server and alsorts.
>Even missed all Terry's stuff on the box and radio (Except for a very short
>bit on that prog about the Goons last week where he appeared sans-fedora no
>less.
>
>He admited to hoping that he'd got a similar grasp of word power to Spike.
>You have Terry but, did Milligan really start it all...... I like to think
>he did.
In truth, probably not. I don't know how much of my interview they used
on the programme, but I did made the point that Goon humour grew out of
earlier stuff -- Sellar and Yeatman, possibly, and certain the
'Beachcomber' column in the Daily Express in the 1930s (and I recall
Milligan fronted a series of Beachcomber adaptations some years back).
But *that* stuff grew out of earlier comic writing as well.
If I had to look for a personal influence, I'd probably pick the late
Michael Bentine, who was a Goon at the start but who later produced, in
It's a Square World, a sort of synthesis of Goon and 'traditional'
humour.
--
Terry Pratchett
C Speed
pdca...@aladdin.net (Piers Cawley) writes:
>In article <5kupi1$j59$1...@lurch.mcc.ac.uk>,
> per...@mcc.ac.uk (C Speed) writes:
>> My only suggestions at present are:
>>
>> 1) People are more than welcome to come to our house, but that's
>> warrington not manchester. (We have crash space too, how much
>> depends on how cosy you want to be with people *&)
>Tell me again, why Warrington?
It's that heady scent of hops and washing powder.
Claire
--
"Leighton.Pritchard"
Big Matt Drongo wrote:
> C Speed wrote:
> > >Tell me again, why Warrington?
If you ask me, that's a very good question :)
> > It's that heady scent of hops and washing powder.
> That doesn't explain why Warrington. You could live right here in
> Manchester and live near either the Boddington's or McEwan's breweries.
> If you lived near Boddies' you could even see one of Britain's most
> picturesque prisons.
Have the inmates given up trying to burn it down, now? They have some
decidedly odd mannerisms in that place...
And what about the Chester's and Holt's breweries? Ahh, I remember when
Holt's was only 80p a pint. Last summer, I think it was :)
--
Leighton
To reply by mail, please change the quack.duck in the Reply-To line to
ac.uk
I apologise for the inconvenience. [1]
[1] Sorry.
{Thanks to Lethargic Man for the quacking idea, Gromit}
Donald Campbell
In article <lgsdRGAL...@unseen.demon.co.uk>,
Terry Pratchett <tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk> wrote:
[...]
>If I had to look for a personal influence, I'd probably pick the late
>Michael Bentine, who was a Goon at the start but who later produced, in
>It's a Square World, a sort of synthesis of Goon and 'traditional'
>humour.
There seems to be a terrible dearth of Bentinalia.[*]
Videos? Books? I haven't even seen Bentine on any of the Goon Show
audio tapes.
I remember Potty Time as being the second funniest programme of my
childhood, the funniest being The Goodies.
Does anyone know if any of Michael Bentine's work is available?
Donald.
[*] Apologies for using such a Sunday-afternoon-BBC-type word.
Terry Pratchett
In article <337866...@mrent.demon.co.uk>, Shooty
<an...@mrent.demon.co.uk> writes
>SNIP
>
>> If I had to look for a personal influence, I'd probably pick the late
>> Michael Bentine, who was a Goon at the start but who later produced, in
>> It's a Square World, a sort of synthesis of Goon and 'traditional'
>> humour.
>
>
A case could be made that the British Humour Evolutionary Tree split at
the time of the Goons - there was the Bentine line, from which came I'm
Sorry I'll Read that Again and The Goodies, and the Milligan line, which
began At Last The 1948 Show, Q2 and the Pythons.
--
Terry Pratchett
Gid Holyoake
"Leighton.Pritchard" wrote:
>
> Have the inmates given up trying to burn it down, now? They have some
> decidedly odd mannerisms in that place...
>
> And what about the Chester's and Holt's breweries? Ahh, I remember when
> Holt's was only 80p a pint. Last summer, I think it was :)
>
Holt's.. great beer.. real bitter.. like you used to get.. unlike
Boddington's.. strange beer.. still what do you expect.. according to
its pump font its brewed in strange ways<G>
Gid
--
Win95.. Whaddyameen No Registry File? Its there.. In the recycle bin..
Homophonophiliac Society. | reply to:
Assistant Researcher in Weighs of Spelling |
Surrealistic Pedant Rating: Gerbil | G...@netcomuk.co.uk
Albedo: x^0 Libido: Turgid |
Shooty
This doesn't take into account the central strand of the Cryer, Junkin,
Sykes, Galton and Simpson humour. Most mainstream 'sitcoms' came from
this direction (IMHO). The old Music Hall via Cineam and into early TV
route. I suppose it could be called 'Gag' based humour.
I like the way the Goodies would pick up a seemingly ordinary situation
and then put a Bentine style 'Twist' on it. Things like the Safari park
full of TV personalities, Boyscouts being declared illegal etc. Vic and
Bob remind me of this style but they have collided with Eric and Ernie.
Python tended to be more like the Milligan 'Q' series, a short sketch to
explore one idea. Not the Nine Oclock News and Naked video or more
recently The Fast Show go this way as well.
Shooty
Colette Reap
wil...@wehi.edu.au.UNSPAM (John Wilkins) wrote:
>So who are Flanders and Swann the ancestors of?
>
Noel Coward possibly?
Colette (a.k.a The Bellinghwoman)
--
The Goddess You Can Worship Between Services Without Ruining Your Appetite
Peter Bleackley
In hysterics, (Piers Cawley) writes:
|> > So who are Flanders and Swann the ancestors of?
|>
|> Hmm... Fry and Laurie, in a weird kind of way. And who is Paul Merton
|> a descendant of? Or are the strands reuniting? And why is Angus
|> Deaton?
Paul Merton is a bit like the Goons done deadpan. I love the four
meters sketch, the Royal Regiment of Cowards Sketch, and quite a few
of the kiosk sketches.
"Excuse me, sir, but we've had reports that those toffees hanve been
stolen."
"Of course they haven't. See, they're just over there."
"Thank you, sir. Glad to have cleared that one up."
--
~PETE "QUANTUM" BLEACKLEY~
Daleks! Repent of your evil ways, and live in peace as plumbers!
X-Ray Astronomy Group University of Leicester
p...@star.le.ac.uk ~ Website coming soon
Caroline Jones
In article <AF9E681B...@atuin.demon.co.uk>, Donald Campbell
<don...@atuin.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <lgsdRGAL...@unseen.demon.co.uk>,
>Terry Pratchett <tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>[...]
>>Michael Bentine, who was a Goon at the start but who later produced, in
>>It's a Square World, a sort of synthesis of Goon and 'traditional'
>>humour.
>
>Videos? Books? I haven't even seen Bentine on any of the Goon Show
>audio tapes.
>
>I remember Potty Time as being the second funniest programme of my
>childhood, the funniest being The Goodies.
>
>Does anyone know if any of Michael Bentine's work is available?
>
>Donald.
>[*] Apologies for using such a Sunday-afternoon-BBC-type word.
>
>
thump* *runs to bedroom* *clatter* *knocks CD pile over* *thump thump*
*runs back to computer* *thinks* "Dammit, should have worn a bra this
morning") "British Comedy Classics". It contines the Bentine sketches
"Football Results", "Holiday Commercial", "Lolly Commercial", "Moscow
Radio Commercial", "Ice Cream Commercial" and "The Horse Show."
Also contains Kenneth Williams, Joyce Grenfell, Morcambe & Wise, Peter
Cook, Dudley Moore, Bernard Cribbins and many more!
Published by EMI, CD no: CDECC7 - enjoy!
--
Caroline
"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." - Josephine Hart
C Speed
Big Matt Drongo <Turni...@unseen.ac.dw> writes:
>> >Tell me again, why Warrington?
>>
>> It's that heady scent of hops and washing powder.
>That doesn't explain why Warrington. You could live right here in
>Manchester and live near either the Boddington's or McEwan's breweries.
>If you lived near Boddies' you could even see one of Britain's most
>picturesque prisons.
It precisely explains why Warrington.
In Manchester I could live next to a wide selection of breweries, but not
sandwiched between them and a Lever Brothers factory.
Ah, those autumn evenings when the chemical waste foam on the river Mersey
blows over the road and into our back yard.
Martyn Clapham
In article <wuLv4MAd...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk>, Caroline Jones
<caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <AF9E681B...@atuin.demon.co.uk>, Donald Campbell
><don...@atuin.demon.co.uk> writes
>>In article <lgsdRGAL...@unseen.demon.co.uk>,
>>Terry Pratchett <tprat...@unseen.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>[...]
>>>If I had to look for a personal influence, I'd probably pick the late
>>>Michael Bentine, who was a Goon at the start but who later produced, in
>>>It's a Square World, a sort of synthesis of Goon and 'traditional'
>>>humour.
>>Does anyone know if any of Michael Bentine's work is available?
>>
>>Donald.
>>[*] Apologies for using such a Sunday-afternoon-BBC-type word.
>>
>There's some stuff available on a double CD entitled (
[sound effects]*thinks* "Dammit, should have worn a bra this morning")
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>"British Comedy Classics". It contines the Bentine sketches
>"Football Results", "Holiday Commercial", "Lolly Commercial", "Moscow
>Radio Commercial", "Ice Cream Commercial" and "The Horse Show."
>
>Also contains Kenneth Williams, Joyce Grenfell, Morcambe & Wise, Peter
>Cook, Dudley Moore, Bernard Cribbins and many more!
>Published by EMI, CD no: CDECC7 - enjoy!
You are leaving yourself open to some very dubious comments posting this
to afp.
Don't forget on here any comment will be mis-understood in the worst
possible way, and explanations of what you really meant will be ignored.
Do you realise the effect on some of the older posters, I just hope they
have their heart pills handy!
MartynC
--
http://www.mclapham.demon.co.uk/index.htm Mobile 0860 914817
Member of LUHU and Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Minion in charge of asset sharing. AFPurity 59%
Martyn Clapham
In article <863626...@amgmps.com>, ian jordan <i...@amgmps.com> writes
>In article <5l7ahi$bp$1...@gunnar.aladdin.net>
> pdca...@aladdin.net "Piers Cawley" writes:
>
>>In article <5kupi1$j59$1...@lurch.mcc.ac.uk>,
>> per...@mcc.ac.uk (C Speed) writes:
>>> My only suggestions at present are:
>>>
>>> 1) People are more than welcome to come to our house, but that's
>>> warrington not manchester. (We have crash space too, how much
>>> depends on how cosy you want to be with people *&)
>>
>>
>Hate it.
>
I used to live there about 10 years ago, then I managed to finish the
tunnel.
The most interesting event was when the circus came to the Birchwood
arena and the Lions/Tigers were in cages just outside my flat! I broke
all records for getting from my front door to my car that week.
Shooty
Paul E. Jamison, Esq. wrote:
>
> Before I replied, I got to thinking abou this lack of importation.
> Has it worked both ways? Are there some "classic" Merkin situation
> comedies that you folks in Great Britain haven't the foggiest notion
> about? Did we, for instance, ever export to you
>
> I Love Lucy
They keep putting that on over here.
> The Honeymooners
This was on channel four a few years ago.
> Mr Ed
Used to be on as a morning show for the kids.
> Hogan's Heroes (I'd bet *that* one went over real well!)
This was on years ago, about a POW camp as I remember.
> Gilligan's Island
This one hasn't been on but it keeps getting mentioned in other shows
> Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
Some of these have been on over here.
> Leave it to Beaver
Never heard of this one
> The Dick Van Dyke Show (which was actually quite good)
This used to be on
> My Mother the Car (usually blasted as the Worst Comedy ever on
> American TV, but not *quite* that bad. Just terrible)
Not been on over here
> The Beverly Hillbillies
Yup the story of a man named Jed etc. This keeps appearing
> Green Acres
Not heard of this.
>
> I could go on and on...
>
We get Bilko all the time, but its worth watching and we got:
Taxi, Mash, Cheers, Who's Boss?, Rhoda, Golden Girls, Seinfeld, Friends,
Larry Sanders, Gary Chandling Show, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeany (sp?), I
Spy, Married with Children, Archie Bunkers Place (US version of Steptoe
with the funny bits taken out), Home Improvement, Different Strokes,
Fresh Prince, Cosby, Hangin' With Mister Cooper, Mork and Mindy, Laverne
and Shirley, Happy Days, Sweet Valley High, Teenage Witch, Clarissa
Explains it All, Grace Under Pressure, Kirsty and Allie, Ellen, Evening
Shade.
And I am sure there are others that I have forgotten
Suzi
Paul E. Jamison, Esq. wrote:
>
> with the references to the Goon Show, the Goodies and of course Monty
> Python's Flying Circus. My first reaction was to reply
>
> "Blast and *conFUSTicate* [1] it all! Why the BLUE BLAZES don't we
> ever get this stuff over here?"
>
> The most likely answere is that somebody over here didn't think enough
> Yanks would find it funny or even understand it. (Me, I love the
> stuff. I've only gotten glimpses of the Goon Show and the Goodies,
> alas. I've enjoyed The Two Ronnies and Alas Smith and Jones, to drop
> some names.
>
> Before I replied, I got to thinking abou this lack of importation.
> Has it worked both ways? Are there some "classic" Merkin situation
> comedies that you folks in Great Britain haven't the foggiest notion
> about? Did we, for instance, ever export to you
>
> I Love Lucy
> Mr Ed
> Hogan's Heroes (I'd bet *that* one went over real well!)
> Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
> The Dick Van Dyke Show (which was actually quite good)
> American TV, but not *quite* that bad. Just terrible)
> Green Acres
>
> I could go on and on...
>
>
<RANT/>
YES YOU DID !!!!! (Nearly all of it!!!)(And none of its (OK.. _most_ of
its not) a patch on the Goodies, or the Goons, or Dad's Army, or lots of
other stuff from over here.. so why do they keep giving us US sitcoms
instead of home grown ones???)
</RANT>
--
Suzi
"You could turn it into Suzi,
and it sounded as though you danced on tables for a living.
You could put in a Z and a couple of Ns and an E,
but it still looked like a name with extensions built on."
Soul Music - T. Pratchett
the junkyard dog
The Junkyard Dog notes that on Fri, 16 May 1997 11:26:27 GMT,
pre...@enterprise.net (the junkyard dog) writ the following:
>The Junkyard Dog notes that on Fri, 16 May 1997 01:11:36 GMT,
>pau...@dtc.net (Paul E. Jamison, Esq.) writ the following:
>
>>This Merkin has been having a tantalizing time following this thread,
>>with the references to the Goon Show, the Goodies and of course Monty
>>Python's Flying Circus. etc etc .
>a
oops sorry I deleted part of the heading
didn't mean to start new thread
sorry sorry Oh bugger
Ray, in the kennel of the Junkyard Dog.
Lincolnshire England.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun,
and run a level four diagnostic Mr Data.
My tea's cold.
the junkyard dog
The Junkyard Dog notes that on Fri, 16 May 1997 01:11:36 GMT,
pau...@dtc.net (Paul E. Jamison, Esq.) writ the following:
>This Merkin has been having a tantalizing time following this thread,
>with the references to the Goon Show, the Goodies and of course Monty
>Python's Flying Circus. etc etc .
and then...
>about? Did we, for instance, ever export to you
>
>I Love Lucy
>The Honeymooners
>Mr Ed
>Hogan's Heroes (I'd bet *that* one went over real well!)
>Gilligan's Island
>Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
>Leave it to Beaver
>The Dick Van Dyke Show (which was actually quite good)
>My Mother the Car (usually blasted as the Worst Comedy ever on
>American TV, but not *quite* that bad. Just terrible)
>The Beverly Hillbillies
>Green Acres
Yes we got all these except one. I don't recognise "My mother the Car"
Most of them were quite popular. Some are still running on satellite
and cable.
I think the Goons humour was probably a bit too British for mainstream
American audiences. Lots of references to things you would have no
knowledge of. Whereas British audiences, brought up on a diet of
Hollywood, could understand most American humour.
IMO some of the best TV humour currently running in Britain is
American. Some of it is unadulterarated trash, but you do with such
style.
Rosanne, however, has gone right down the toilet.
I've just read through that lot and the last line conjures up an
interesting scenario.
Suzi
the junkyard dog wrote:
(loads of it snipped...)
> Rosanne, however, has gone right down the toilet.
>
> I've just read through that lot and the last line conjures up an
> interesting scenario.
>
She wouldn't fit, would she???
Paul Tomblin
<blink><font face=Zapf-Dingbats>Use a newsreader,not a web browser
In a previous article, per...@mcc.ac.uk (C Speed) said:
"Washing powder"? So *that's* it! I worked in Warrington for about 8 months
in 91-92, and I never identified that other smell. I identified the hops and
the smell of gritty post-industrial depression and bleakness, but I never
identified that undercurrent of washing powder.
North West Water, New Town House, Warrington. OS Grid SJ6088. Don't ask how
I know which grid square it was in - I wasn't calling in an artillery strike
on the place, tempting as that might have bee.
BTW: IF anybody ever offers you a job working alongside people from Andersen
Consulting, make sure you have a provision in your contract for
time-and-a-half for overtime, even if you're salaried. And make sure that
*you* get to decide how much overtime you work, not some Anderoid. Or shoot
them.
--
Paul Tomblin (ptom...@xcski.com), Rochester Flying Club
<a href="http://www.servtech.com/public/ptomblin/rfc/">RFC Web Page</a>
<a href=http://www.beapilot.com/>Stop Dreaming, Start Flying</a>
Caroline Jones
In article <3381a71c...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
>On Thu, 15 May 1997 19:45:21 +0100, Martyn Clapham
><mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
>>You are leaving yourself open to some very dubious comments posting this
>>to afp.
>
>
>Ain't she grand!
>>
*blush* <- see, I'm practising already! (See later thread!)
>>Don't forget on here any comment will be mis-understood in the worst
>>possible way, and explanations of what you really meant will be ignored.
>
>Hmmmm. I think that was lesson one....
>>
I'm used to that - I have been called the original foot in mouth person!
>>Do you realise the effect on some of the older posters, I just hope they
>>have their heart pills handy!
>
>Well, you were all getting tired of me so....what the hey, I went into
>syndication!
>
>Michelena
>(who's asset is a weee bit too *bountiful atm, and is in need of "real
>life" dieting strategies....I admit it I wanna be a *babe*!
>
I'm feeling the same - so, yes, running mates it is!
--
Caroline (Wannabe Babe Mark II)
Tony Barr
>> Hogan's Heroes (I'd bet *that* one went over real well!)
>This was on years ago, about a POW camp as I remember.
Still showing on one of the German channels, but dubbed. Looks
really odd, Germans in German WW2 uniforms speaking German but out
of sync with their lips.
>> Gilligan's Island
>This one hasn't been on but it keeps getting mentioned in other shows
Yes it was. Pure garbage. Ooops, showing my age again.
Tony
The Gonzo Lager
On Fri, 16 May 1997 09:34:23 +0000, Shooty wrote:
>(snipping a great deal of the treasure that we Americans generously
> donate to other countries in a grand display of cultural imperialism...)
>Archie Bunkers Place (US version of Steptoe with the funny bits taken out)
Place" was the final pitiful twitchings of All In The Family, which was
based on "Till Death Do Us Part".
Just sharing the useless knowledge that's cramming my brain.
*** For personal replies, change "not" to "net" ***
Brian R.Snape, The Gonzo Lager
b...@iac.net / sn...@nku.edu
Visit Kozmosis: http://www.iac.net/~brs/
The Gonzo Lager
On Fri, 16 May 1997 11:26:27 GMT, the junkyard dog wrote:
>Yes we got all these except one. I don't recognise "My mother the Car"
"My Mother..." is deservedly one of the worst American television shows
ever made. It starred Jerry Van Dyke (brother of Dick), who is now on
"Coach".
>I think the Goons humour was probably a bit too British for mainstream
>American audiences. Lots of references to things you would have no
>knowledge of. Whereas British audiences, brought up on a diet of
>Hollywood, could understand most American humour.
The unfortunate thing with mainstream American audiences is that they tend
to be product of mainstream American schools. We Americans don't want to
know anymore that we have to in order to graduate. That's why British
comedy takes on a cult status over here. It goes over many heads so it
doesn't catch on as well or, as someone else said:
That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and
Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with
me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
>IMO some of the best TV humour currently running in Britain is
>American.
If Britain ever comes in contact with a program called "Mystery Science
Theater 3000", then you will truly see what excellence we're capable of.
As for now, just enjoy the Simpsons.
> Some of it is unadulterarated trash, but you do with such
>style.
You could say that the extra ingredient is titilation.
>Rosanne, however, has gone right down the toilet.
No argument there. Thankfully, this is its last season.
>I've just read through that lot and the last line conjures up an
>interesting scenario.
Ah ha! So you do know about the super secret series finale! :)
Darrell Ottery
In article <337C45...@capgemini.co.uk>, Suzi <suzi.holyoake@capgemini
.co.uk> writes
>Paul E. Jamison, Esq. wrote:
>>
>> Anyway, did we ever inflict this stuff on you?
>
><RANT/>
>YES YOU DID !!!!! (Nearly all of it!!!)(And none of its (OK.. _most_ of
>its not) a patch on the Goodies, or the Goons, or Dad's Army, or lots of
>other stuff from over here.. so why do they keep giving us US sitcoms
>instead of home grown ones???)
></RANT>
Money. Or rather as little of it as possible. You see, talent can cost
more money than no talent. Or so they tell me.
Beyond B5 and the occasional decent piece of satire I could very easily
save myself 80 quid a year.
--
Darrell [INTJ] - Dar...@lspace.org - http://www.toreador.demon.co.uk/
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four
tellers?
Paul E. Jamison, Esq.
First off, I asked about what situation comedies we Merkins had
inflicted on you Brits
Then, on Fri, 16 May 1997 10:30:15 -0100, a little light bulb went on
over the head of Suzi (Suzi <suzi.h...@capgemini.co.uk>),
and she wrote, like an infinite number of monkeys, thus and so to
alt.fan.pratchett:
><RANT/>
>YES YOU DID !!!!! (Nearly all of it!!!)(And none of its (OK.. _most_ of
>its not) a patch on the Goodies, or the Goons, or Dad's Army, or lots of
>other stuff from over here.. so why do they keep giving us US sitcoms
>instead of home grown ones???)
></RANT>
My first reaction is to humbly apologize, but I'm an atypical Merkin
anyway and it wouldn't make the blasted things go away.
Anyway, that sure answered my original, and it's depresssing, let me
tell you.
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Undersecretary in Charge of the Irish Question
... and proud member of LUHU
Paul E. Jamison, Esq.
On Fri, 16 May 1997 22:55:07 GMT, a little light bulb went on over the
head of The Gonzo Lager (b...@iac.not (The Gonzo Lager)),
and he/she wrote, like an infinite number of monkeys, thus and so to
alt.fan.pratchett:
>On Fri, 16 May 1997 11:26:27 GMT, the junkyard dog wrote:
>>Yes we got all these except one. I don't recognise "My mother the Car"
>"My Mother..." is deservedly one of the worst American television shows
>ever made. It starred Jerry Van Dyke (brother of Dick), who is now on
>"Coach".
We may as well not keep our British friends in the dark anymore about
this. So:
"My Mother the Car" did indeed star Dick Van Dyke brother Jerry. The
show's premise was that Jerry's late Mother was reincarnated as an old
automobile -- specifically a 1928 Porter. No such car existed, but it
was a typical 20s type of Merkin automobile. So Jerry purchases said
vehicle from the dealer, much to the consternation of his wife and
kids. Now his Mom can speak to Jerry via the radio, but she either
can't or won't speak to anyone else. So nobody can understand why
he's so devoted to the old jalopy, which is supposed to be funny.
There was a villain -- an old-car collector that needed a 1928 Porter
to complete his collection and would stop at nothing (at least in a
comedy) to get Jerry's car.
This program lasted only part of one season and only a handful of
episodes were ever shown. Not enough to justify syndication today, so
it's not really be rebroadcast since it was first. But it's still
remembered for some perverse reason.
What's sad is that my family actually *watched* the show when it was
on! Says a lot about our taste in comedies. (We watched Gilligan's
Island, too) And I can recall "My Mother the Car" so *vividly* today.
I can remember some of the gags, and the theme music (some 20s-type
honky-tonk thing sung by some group that *had* to have gotten a
straight commision). I can even recall a model kit offered by Revell
or some such company. Says a lot for my memory, blessing and curse as
it is.
Just to set the record straight.
Michelena Riosa
On 16 May 1997 01:48:37 GMT, "Gidjabolgo" <orjan....@enator.se>
wrote:
>Michelena Riosa <mri...@visgen.com> considered herself like this:
>> (who's asset is a weee bit too *bountiful atm, and is in need of "real
>> life" dieting strategies....I admit it I wanna be a *babe*!
>
>Oh? I believe you are!
Lawks what the heck wazzat!
><fx: comes running in slow-motion, trips on his own feet and stays on his
>knees. Produces a @-->---- with an elegant snap with his fingers and gives
>it carefully to Michelena.
*thank you* My Dear Mr. Bolgo <takes lovely rose. > No it's
okay....got any dettol and a bandage? Don't worry the mark'll get lost
amongst the other scars in a day ot two....
>Looks deep into her eyes, and starts to blush
>furiously.
Perhaps it would be easier on you if I uncrossed them!
>Stammers: "Eh, look! Where does time fly? I really have to
>go..." turns his back on the innocent dove, and starts walking away,
>muttering: "Testosterone brigade, huh? Hmpf! They'll see, they'll all see.
>I'll just spend some time at the gym, and they'll see...." Disappears in
>the distance, hands stuck deep in his pockets>
Errr "innocent dove"?
Golly, I haven't been that flattered for ages....However I think that
the dazzle of your own lady love is perhaps making your perception a
bit weak...
Condsider yersself
"The Official Guardian of the"Innocent Dove" and White Cane Tester"
You've been drafted.
Michelena
--
"What the hell, anyway."
-Terry Pratchett
Michelena Riosa
On Fri, 16 May 1997 21:51:36 +0100, Martyn Clapham
<mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <P$mzbSAARJfzEw$q...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk>, Caroline Jones
><caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> writes
>>In article <3381a71c...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
>><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>>On Thu, 15 May 1997 19:45:21 +0100, Martyn Clapham
>>><mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>>
>[ snippage of the fair[1] Caroline and our very own brigade commander ]
>>>
>>>>Don't forget on here any comment will be mis-understood in the worst
>>>>possible way, and explanations of what you really meant will be ignored.
>>>
>>>Hmmmm. I think that was lesson one....
>>>>
>>I'm used to that - I have been called the original foot in mouth person!
>>
>[ more snipping ]
>
>Hey, a contortionist!
>
>I would be most honoured if you would consent to marry me, staying just
>as you are.
>
>MartynC
>
>[1] This of course is 'fair' as in nice to look at, not as in blonde.
>Although the latter is probably required if you are going to be a 'babe'
Nonesense...blondeness is not required fore major *Babedom*
look at leo or Simes.....
and IIRC your own hirsuiteness is not exactly titian...
Michelena
>--
>http://www.mclapham.demon.co.uk/index.htm Mobile 0860 914817
>Member of LUHU and Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
>Minion in charge of asset sharing. AFPurity 59%
--
Michelena Riosa
>Caroline (Wannabe Babe Mark II)
That perhaps should read "Wannabe Babe Mach II"
Our Lady of Pugnacious Pulchritude
Colette Reap
Suzi <suzi.h...@capgemini.co.uk> wrote:
>Paul E. Jamison, Esq. wrote:
>>
>> Before I replied, I got to thinking abou this lack of importation.
>> Has it worked both ways? Are there some "classic" Merkin situation
>> comedies that you folks in Great Britain haven't the foggiest notion
>> about? Did we, for instance, ever export to you
>>
>> I Love Lucy
<snip rest of list>
>> Anyway, did we ever inflict this stuff on you?
>>
>
><RANT/>
>YES YOU DID !!!!! (Nearly all of it!!!)(And none of its (OK.. _most_ of
>its not) a patch on the Goodies, or the Goons, or Dad's Army, or lots of
>other stuff from over here.. so why do they keep giving us US sitcoms
>instead of home grown ones???)
></RANT>
>
While I agree with Suzi about Paul's original list, I am happy that
the likes of Cheers, M*A*S*H, and the funniest sitcom on TV here at
the moment - (well, IMHO anyway) 3rd Rock From The Sun, made it over.
Mister Eponym
On Fri, 16 May 1997 22:55:07 GMT,
The Gonzo Lager <b...@iac.not> wrote:
<quoting someone else>
> That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and
> Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with
> me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
Argh help me... I recognise this quote, but I can't put a name to it!
You will be showered with ppoints if you can provide an attribution for
it.
Tnx,
Dom
--
Kie estas la plej proksima masa^gejo?
Sarah Wittman
On Fri, 16 May 1997 21:51:36 +0100, Martyn Clapham
<mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <P$mzbSAARJfzEw$q...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk>, Caroline Jones
><caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> writes
>>In article <3381a71c...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
>><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>>>possible way, and explanations of what you really meant will be ignored.
>
>
>I would be most honoured if you would consent to marry me, staying just
>as you are.
don't you think that would be rather uncomfortable?
Sarah (OLF! OLF!)
Chris Hill
In article <337ffa3d...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
<snip>
>Condsider yersself
>"The Official Guardian of the"Innocent Dove" and White Cane Tester"
>
>You've been drafted.
>
>Michelena
Don't forget to add the sig (correct format or else The Bellman will
shout at you :-) )
--
Chris Hill
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Postulate in Charge of Getting Michelena Classified by Jane's.
Michelena Riosa
On Sat, 17 May 1997 14:58:37 GMT, Remov...@dircon.co.ukx (Listicath)
wrote:
>Is it time for a diet thread?
I think it is....Don't know about you, but I'm tire of feeling
unattractive....I really don't care whether my weight loss might
please others (okay, I lie here) but I really think I need to drop a
few just for my own feelings of being potentially pretty.
>Something that doesn't involve
>excercise and allows beer and chocolate? I could do with losing a few
>pounds/inches too.
I'm going to just try to eat less of everything, really cut the
protein (a bad thing for me as my mass is too much flesh, as well as
fat) and walk a hell of a lot more...perhaps if I lighten up, I might
do more.
Chocolate, alcohol and all other treats are included, as if I deny
them, I know I would fail...
Trying to find some images to guide me, a lean, mean fighting machine
sorta thing, but ladylike.
Michelena, in her tightest jeans and looking for the day when they are
too big.
>--
> Here's to women! Would that we could fall into
> Listicath their arms withoutfalling into their hands!
> Ambrose Bierce
>a...@dircon.co.uk http://www.users.dircon.co.uk/~abj/
Chris Hill
In article <337dde14...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
<snip>
>>Chris Hill
>>The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
>>Postulate in Charge of Getting Michelena Classified by Jane's.
>
>if the name was Jane or Janes for the books? I can't rmrmber...
>
Boring military trivia time:
The man's name was John Frederick Thomas Jane. His first book was
"Jane's All The World's Fighting Ships" - published in 1898.
No, really, I do have a life - honest!
Chris Hill
In article <337edee4...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
>On Sat, 17 May 1997 14:58:37 GMT, Remov...@dircon.co.ukx (Listicath)
>wrote:
>
>
>>Is it time for a diet thread?
>
>I think it is....Don't know about you, but I'm tire of feeling
>unattractive....I really don't care whether my weight loss might
>please others (okay, I lie here) but I really think I need to drop a
>few just for my own feelings of being potentially pretty.
>
>I'm going to just try to eat less of everything, really cut the
>protein (a bad thing for me as my mass is too much flesh, as well as
>fat) and walk a hell of a lot more...perhaps if I lighten up, I might
>do more.
Got to be careful here - I'm no expert, but I think if you start
exercising and don't cut the calorie intake then all you do is put on
muscle. At least - that's what has happened to me (intentionally) - high
impact aerobics four times a week for the last 12 months has made a
*considerable* difference to my body shape.
Walking is good - burns lotsa claories.
>
>Chocolate, alcohol and all other treats are included, as if I deny
>them, I know I would fail...
Also, if you start exercising you can have all these with a clear
conscience (works for me! ;-) )
>
>Trying to find some images to guide me, a lean, mean fighting machine
>sorta thing, but ladylike.
Linda Hamilton in T2?
Michelena Riosa
On Sat, 17 May 1997 18:20:40 +0100, Chris Hill
<Ch...@chris-h.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <337edee4...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>Got to be careful here - I'm no expert, but I think if you start
>exercising and don't cut the calorie intake then all you do is put on
>muscle. At least - that's what has happened to me (intentionally) - high
>impact aerobics four times a week for the last 12 months has made a
>*considerable* difference to my body shape.
This is why the protein _has_ to go. I once tried weight training for
toning without a diet, and blew up to a size 18 (Over 40 bust, arms
like tree-trunks, musclebound) Took two years to get it off. Not fun
when you are a lady just trying to look better, not play football.
>
>Walking is good - burns lotsa claories.
Especially if you want to keep the impact down....I'd also like to try
water-exercise, but it sounds so boring...Nomatter what I have to get
home from work so I just have to give myselg the time to commute by
foot. I don't know the distance, but it takes an hour or so.
>>
>>Chocolate, alcohol and all other treats are included, as if I deny
>>them, I know I would fail...
>
>Also, if you start exercising you can have all these with a clear
>conscience (works for me! ;-) )
But how do you find it not terminally dull?
>>
>>Trying to find some images to guide me, a lean, mean fighting machine
>>sorta thing, but ladylike.
>
>Linda Hamilton in T2?
Not bad...the last time I was stripped down, I got a loit of catwoman
comments....Somehow developing the :kill instinct" seems to help the
process along...no idea why....
Michelena
Chris Hill
In article <33800389...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
<snip>
>>Walking is good - burns lotsa claories.
>
>Especially if you want to keep the impact down....I'd also like to try
>water-exercise, but it sounds so boring...Nomatter what I have to get
>home from work so I just have to give myselg the time to commute by
>foot. I don't know the distance, but it takes an hour or so.
>>>
Actually, "keeping the impact down" is very important - there are lots
of nasty injuries which can be incurred be repetitively banging your
feet down on a hard surface (shin splints etc.). The right footwear is
very important.
<snip>
>But how do you find it not terminally dull?
Well, there is the social side - I've met a lot new friends at the gym.
There is also an element, if I'm honest, of "macho" competitiveness as
well, plus the positive reinforcement of being able to see my
performance getting better over time. A good instructor makes all the
difference, too.
One of our instructors (who recently had a bust-up with The Powers That
Be and, alas, instructs us no more) used to have us doing boxercise. A
more effective method of stress relief I haave yet to find! At the time
I was going through a lot of grief at work because of a few individuals,
and this really helped me unwind. Needless to say I usually had a mental
image of a person during shadow boxing.
>>>Trying to find some images to guide me, a lean, mean fighting machine
>>>sorta thing, but ladylike.
>>
>>Linda Hamilton in T2?
>
>Not bad...the last time I was stripped down, I got a loit of catwoman
>comments....Somehow developing the :kill instinct" seems to help the
>process along...no idea why....
>
--
Caroline Jones
In article <ECGBQAAY...@mclapham.demon.co.uk>, Martyn Clapham
<mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <P$mzbSAARJfzEw$q...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk>, Caroline Jones
><caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> writes
>><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>>On Thu, 15 May 1997 19:45:21 +0100, Martyn Clapham
>>><mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>>
>[ snippage of the fair[1] Caroline and our very own brigade commander ]
>>>
>>>>possible way, and explanations of what you really meant will be ignored.
>>>
>>>>
>>
>
>Hey, a contortionist!
>
>I would be most honoured if you would consent to marry me, staying just
>as you are.
>
careful, we're in the same country.....!!
>MartynC
>
>[1] This of course is 'fair' as in nice to look at, not as in blonde.
>Although the latter is probably required if you are going to be a 'babe'
Sorry, it's dark brown - pass the peroxide.....
--
Caroline
Stig M. Valstad
Chris Hill <Ch...@chris-h.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>Boring military trivia time:
>
>The man's name was John Frederick Thomas Jane. His first book was
>"Jane's All The World's Fighting Ships" - published in 1898.
And he is still making those books! What stamina! He must be
getting rather old now.
>No, really, I do have a life - honest!
You do? Where did you get it? How much did it cost? Do they
have any more left in stock?
--
Stigma M. Vacated - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Passer of the Moral Circle.
John Fouhy
In article <slrn5nq4c...@djd.ftech.co.uk>,
Mister Eponym <g...@djd.ftech.co.uk> wrote:
> The Gonzo Lager <b...@iac.not> wrote:
> <quoting someone else>
> > That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and
> > Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with
> > me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
> Argh help me... I recognise this quote, but I can't put a name to it!
> You will be showered with ppoints if you can provide an attribution for
> it.
A chap you may not have heard of by the name of Terry Pratchett... :-)
Look for it in the _Annotated Pratchett File_ - I forget where it occurs -
possibly near the section about _Mort: The Movie_?
--
John Fouhy, Wellington, New Zealand | e-mail: jfo...@actrix.gen.nz
Student of Wellington College | The Turtle Moves! | Fidonet: 3:771/300.9
"Il brilgue: les toves libricilleux Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave,
Enmimes sont les gougebosquex, Et le momerade horgrave." - Lewis Carrol
Michelena Riosa
>Chris Hill <Ch...@chris-h.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>Boring military trivia time:
>>
>>The man's name was John Frederick Thomas Jane. His first book was
>>"Jane's All The World's Fighting Ships" - published in 1898.
>
>And he is still making those books! What stamina! He must be
>getting rather old now.
spry...men don't get old, they get "spry"
>
>>No, really, I do have a life - honest!
>
>You do? Where did you get it? How much did it cost? Do they
>have any more left in stock?
Sorry, I got the last one, and it was a second...has some pages
missing and a damaged cover....
Karen Hanna Kruzycka
On Sat, 17 May 1997 00:55:18 +0100, Darrell Ottery
<dar...@lspace.org> wrote:
[snip]
>Beyond B5 and the occasional decent piece of satire I could very easily
>save myself 80 quid a year.
<rage>
Those lovely people at TV Licensing give us blind folks a discount on
our licences. They deduct the cost of 'what you see' from the total,
leaving only the cost of 'what you hear' (that's the theory AIUI).
Guess how much the discount is! Go on, guess!
Okay, I'll tell you. One pound twenty five pence, that's how much. I
don't take advantage of this discount - i don't much appreciate being
patronised, you see.
</rage>
Sorry about that, but it's something that really makes me angry -
write to your local m.p. etc etc :-)
--
\ / The Vodka Vixen - Vi...@lspace.org \ /
\ \/ / http://www.voltaire.demon.co.uk/ \ \/ /
\ /\/ Me: "Oh my God! I've lost my sex appeal!" \ /\/
\/ Simes: "I'll just go and help her find it... " \/
T J Wilkinson
>In article <337edee4...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>I think it is....Don't know about you, but I'm tire of feeling
>>unattractive....I really don't care whether my weight loss might
>>please others (okay, I lie here) but I really think I need to drop a
>>few just for my own feelings of being potentially pretty.
><snip>
>>I'm going to just try to eat less of everything, really cut the
>>protein (a bad thing for me as my mass is too much flesh, as well as
>>fat) and walk a hell of a lot more...perhaps if I lighten up, I might
>>do more.
>Got to be careful here - I'm no expert, but I think if you start
>exercising and don't cut the calorie intake then all you do is put on
>muscle. At least - that's what has happened to me (intentionally) - high
>impact aerobics four times a week for the last 12 months has made a
>*considerable* difference to my body shape.
Who cares about losing weight? When did that cute guy at the
nightclub bring out the scales and making you stand on them before
going out with you? Muscle weighs more than fat but it looks better
on you and is healthier. Apparently as long as your waist-to-hip [1]
ratio is less than 0.8 for women or less than 1 for men then you're
okay healthwise.
Find a form of exercise you like and that is convenient. Try to eat
more greens, less sugar. But don't go on a diet, something like 95%
of diets fail - basically because your body thinks you're in the
middle of a famine and sensibly cuts back on the amount of food you
require, pulls out all the stops to try to get you to eat more and
when you do start eating more stores it up as fat in case there's
another famine. I suggest buying a copy of _Fabulous Figures_ by
Rachel Swift and reading it whenever you feel like dieting. She has
some sensible ideas for changing your diet [2] too.
My tactic is not to weigh myself. The last time I knew what my weight
was was over a year ago when I went to give blood for the second
time.[3]
Tracy
[1] Distance around widest bit of hip and distance around smallest bit
of waist.
[2] This footnote is just to make it clear that when I'm using diet
here I'm just talking about what you eat as opposed to a
food-restriction plan.
[3] And for the second time I nearly passed out[4] so they told me not
to bother coming back again for ten years - a wonderful excuse.
[5] I could still hear everything and my thoughts were quite lucid but
I quite simply did not have the energy to keep my eyelids open.
--.---
t.wil...@ihug.co.nz http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~tajwileb/
At a party: "I brought a copy of your book."
"So it was you. Thanks."
T J Wilkinson
On Sat, 17 May 1997 18:09:34 -0600, Jacqueline Hookey
<hoo...@cadvision.com> wrote:
>G.L. Wilson wrote:
>>
>> And yet another AOL... exercise is so _boring_.
>
>I totally agree, specially exercise bikes!!!!!
>Why can't some clever person come up with a set of 3D goggle type
>virtual reality wossanames that you can us while burning off those
>excess lbs/inches etc. You could have a program with some sexy guy
>(Jean Claude Van Dame springs to mind) cycling a head of you - only
>just out of reach!!!!!
I was at one of those games arcade the other day and they had this
neat machine which was basically a bicycle in front of a screen. You
sat on the bike and pedaled and on the screen you were on some kind of
combination of a handglider and a bike. You could go up and down and
if you hit one of these big balloons you got extra time. We thought
they'd be excellent in a gym, if they lowered the price somewhat and
allowed you to set the resistance. However if they were installed
you'd have to get there at four in the morning to find some time on
them.
Often I take one of my IEEE journals along to the gym and cycle while
reading it. Other magazines or books that stay open by themselves are
also good for this. It's an especially good way of getting through
boring reading that for some reason you have to cover.
Tracy
Mister Eponym
On Sat, 17 May 1997 16:35:25 GMT,
The Gonzo Lager <b...@iac.not> wrote:
>>> That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and
>>> Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with
>>> me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
>>Argh help me... I recognise this quote, but I can't put a name to it!
>>You will be showered with ppoints if you can provide an attribution for
>>it.
>Eponym's question a la Inviclues (the hint books one could get for
>Infocom's games):
> - Have you gone to ftp.lspace.org?
> - Go to the WORD directory.
> - Go to the PQF directory
> - Download the file named PQF-4.0
> - Read the PQF-4.0
> - The person who wrote this quote was Terry Pratchett (on afp)
> - Don't worry. We won't tell.
:P TGL
Getting forgetful in me old age ;)
Cheeky devil that you are.
Hmm I have been quite absent minded lately; I almost 'lost' my keys and P
yesterday. I found my keys hiding in the pocket of a shirt I was going
to wear, and P was hiding under some cr*p[0] on my floor.
And it is very annoying to lose a book that you are half way through
even if you have read it lots before.
Dom "I'm not as stupid as I look"[1] Davidson
--
Kie estas la plej proksima masa^gejo?
[0] Not *literally* of course.
[1] Honest, guv!
Michelena Riosa
On Sun, 18 May 1997 13:32:12 GMT, tajw...@ihug.co.nzi (T J Wilkinson)
wrote:
>Who cares about losing weight? When did that cute guy at the
>nightclub bring out the scales and making you stand on them before
>going out with you?
I don't club...and most of my true friends never see me...I wand to
diet for me, and my own feelings for what I want to be more than a
public servece...I certainly wouldn't mind being a *babe* once in my
life, but really it is for my own opinion.
> Muscle weighs more than fat but it looks better
>on you and is healthier. Apparently as long as your waist-to-hip [1]
>ratio is less than 0.8 for women or less than 1 for men then you're
>okay healthwise.
Never heard this method...We have a body-fat index, I am on the high
end of normal and want to be on the middle end of normal ( oh look,
three ends) I am a rather well muscled person anyway and long learned
to ignore the actual weight.
>Find a form of exercise you like and that is convenient. Try to eat
>more greens, less sugar. But don't go on a diet, something like 95%
>of diets fail - basically because your body thinks you're in the
>middle of a famine and sensibly cuts back on the amount of food you
>require, pulls out all the stops to try to get you to eat more and
>when you do start eating more stores it up as fat in case there's
>another famine. I suggest buying a copy of _Fabulous Figures_ by
>Rachel Swift and reading it whenever you feel like dieting. She has
>some sensible ideas for changing your diet [2] too.
I know the book...I was once an anorexic for four years and worry
about any diet, this is the first time I have tried since I recovered.
I just intend to eat a little less of everything, walk more and clock
in the weeks, no precise end goal has been set, just in better shape
and healthier.
>
>My tactic is not to weigh myself. The last time I knew what my weight
>was was over a year ago when I went to give blood for the second
>time.[3]
Me too. Weight has little to do with how you feel. I use a well-loved
dress...when I am comfortable in it I will be where I want. My last
diet caused me to drop 80 lbs...never again.
Michelena -getting in the veggi-biryani state of mind)
Wombat
Last Christmas I was feeling so blubbery I joined a club called Slimmer's
World (aka 'Fat Club'). Since then I've lost 21 pounds - and that's a fair
bit for an adult wombat. The support you get makes a lot of difference. The
only problem is that about half the members seem to be Magrats and most of
the rest are Nanny Oggs.
Wombat
'New and Improved? Do you mean all this time I've been eating Old and
Inferior?'
Michelena Riosa
On Sun, 18 May 1997 19:07:34 GMT, jes...@innotts.co.uk wrote:
>On 16 May 1997 01:48:37 GMT, "Gidjabolgo" <orjan....@enator.se>
>wrote:
>
>>Michelena Riosa <mri...@visgen.com> considered herself like this:
>>> (who's asset is a weee bit too *bountiful atm, and is in need of "real
>>> life" dieting strategies....I admit it I wanna be a *babe*!
>>
>>Oh? I believe you are!
>A couple more who believe that, and it'll be true anyway (count me in)
Awwwww, <shuffles feet> shucks.
I will say, that when I was over there I did notice that the Brits
seem to find Errrr, "curvaceous" women more appealing than the north
american men seem to over here.
>>I'll just spend some time at the gym, and they'll see...." Disappears in
>>the distance, hands stuck deep in his pockets>
>Hmm....
>Doing what with the hands?
>(sorry, sorry, very sorry, totally uncalled for, mind like a sewer,
>sorry)
That's okay, A while back I was inhabiting the afpgutter. Along with
Vimes and the Death of Rats....
But I think I'll work on inspiring *vom* first.....
No, I don't think so...
Michelena
Martyn Clapham
In article <338516f8...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
>On Sat, 17 May 1997 09:19:40 +0100, Caroline Jones
><caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>
>>Sorry, it's dark brown - pass the peroxide.....
>
>
>Careful with the seventy, it can cause your hair to melt.
>
>NB. after years of dying wool and like...human hair is pretty easy..
>
>Michelena
>
Michelena, given your warning above please can you convince your trainee
that I meant what I said about her staying as she is!
Caroline, don't even mention changeing your hair cos I made some
throwaway comment.
Oh for the fun days of afp, things are getting too bloody serious on
here now!
MartynC
Martyn Clapham
In article <AFA4AAFF...@goblinc.demon.co.uk>, Laurie JP Sage
<lau...@goblinc.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <7X6imCAB...@mclapham.demon.co.uk>,
>Martyn Clapham <mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>[sound effects]*thinks* "Dammit, should have worn a bra this morning")
>
>You mean you never get dressed and don't really you should have worn a bra
>until you run up and down stairs, Martyn? What kind of man *are* you?
>
>--* Laurie
>"In the village of the blind,
> the one eyed man is stoned to death"
I suppose I should be grateful it's taken so long for the obvious
comment to appear. :-)
It was the usual problem, a typo not spotted until after the post
appeared on the group ( I'm damn sure something mangles my posts before
you lot see them ).
When I quoted Caroline, I missed the quote character off the line after
editing it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, OK?
Caroline, Michelena, you believe me, don't you?
Michelena Riosa
On Sun, 18 May 1997 18:33:16 +0100, Martyn Clapham
<mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <338516f8...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
><mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>On Sat, 17 May 1997 09:19:40 +0100, Caroline Jones
>><caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>Sorry, it's dark brown - pass the peroxide.....
>>the 10, the 30 or the 70?
>>Careful with the seventy, it can cause your hair to melt.
>>NB. after years of dying wool and like...human hair is pretty easy..
>
>Michelena, given your warning above please can you convince your trainee
>that I meant what I said about her staying as she is!
Martyn Honey, I think Caroline was jesting, as well, she may be a
newbie, but she's no rookie.
>
>Caroline, don't even mention changeing your hair cos I made some
>throwaway comment.
>
>Oh for the fun days of afp, things are getting too bloody serious on
>here now!
Chill out Martyn, else we'll have to get our leather kilt school-girls
uniforms again...with the boots! Soon, Soon Caroline will learn to
appreciate your assets, even though they are minemineminemineallmine
Michelena Riosa
>
>Caroline, Michelena, you believe me, don't you?
It would be more fun if we didn't...
Caroline, dearest...you think that we should start talking about the
velvet dresses at Martyn....? I think dear Chris is still under the
hose.. somehow he manages to snatch four of them so I guess I'll have
to get a new pair for work....
Gid Holyoake
G.L. Wilson wrote:
Snippety snip..
> >I think dear Chris is still under the
> >hose.. somehow he manages to snatch four of them so I guess I'll have
> >to get a new pair for work....
>
>
You don't think he may be an angler or a spelunker do you?? They often
take hose with them..... to keep out the cold they *say*[1]
Gid
--
(Currently awaiting title[*])
Homophonophiliac Society. | reply to:
Assistant Researcher in Weighs of Spelling |
Surrealistic Pedant Rating: Catspaw | G...@netcomuk.co.uk
Albedo: Dark Libido: Awakening |
[*]Concerning the protection of Ookey's punctuation.
[1] and having done both.. I concur<G>
Michelena Riosa
On Sun, 18 May 1997 23:39:26 +0100, Gid Holyoake <G...@netcomuk.co.uk>
wrote:
>
>You don't think he may be an angler or a spelunker do you?? They often
>take hose with them..... to keep out the cold they *say*[1]
Hey! I just happen to know a vet (USMC) who teaches survivalism to
Marines and US Rangers, who says that they are a darn fine idea!!!!
(HIYA !!!!)
But, somehow, I don't think he means the frilly kind with the belt!
BTW Hedgehog owners...BEWARE, Tparry crawled into a pair thinking it
would be a nifty tunnell and got stuck...I think he is still suffering
from the trauma!
Michelena
>[1] and having done both.. I concur<G>
*shudder* I'd rather jump out of a plane that get in a cave....
Martyn Clapham
In article <33825eac...@newshost.visgen.com>, Michelena Riosa
<mri...@visgen.com> writes
[ snippage ]
>Chill out Martyn, else we'll have to get our leather kilt school-girls
>uniforms again...with the boots! Soon, Soon Caroline will learn to
>appreciate your assets, even though they are minemineminemineallmine
>
>Michelena
Your wish is my command! Actually I just had a case of the grumps when I
posted, sorrreeeee!
I don't suppose you have a piccy of the pair of you to show us what you
are threatening, I mean we know where to find your picture, but what
about Caroline?
Shooty
The Gonzo Lager wrote:
>
> On Fri, 16 May 1997 09:34:23 +0000, Shooty wrote:
> >(snipping a great deal of the treasure that we Americans generously
> > donate to other countries in a grand display of cultural imperialism...)
> >Archie Bunkers Place (US version of Steptoe with the funny bits taken out)
> Actually, "Steptoe & Son" was made into "Sanford & Son". "Archie Bunker's
> Place" was the final pitiful twitchings of All In The Family, which was
> based on "Till Death Do Us Part".
>
> Just sharing the useless knowledge that's cramming my brain.
>
>
Sorry, I knew that, can't think why I posted otherwise.
Shooty
jleith.appsearch.com
In article <337d731c....@news.demon.co.uk>, Colette Reap (god...@lspace.org) writes:
>Suzi <suzi.h...@capgemini.co.uk> wrote:
>
>>Paul E. Jamison, Esq. wrote:
>>>
>>> Before I replied, I got to thinking abou this lack of importation.
>>> Has it worked both ways? Are there some "classic" Merkin situation
>>> comedies that you folks in Great Britain haven't the foggiest notion
>>> about? Did we, for instance, ever export to you
>>>
>>> I Love Lucy
><snip rest of list>
>
>>> Anyway, did we ever inflict this stuff on you?
>>>
>>
>><RANT/>
>>YES YOU DID !!!!! (Nearly all of it!!!)(And none of its (OK.. _most_ of
>>its not) a patch on the Goodies, or the Goons, or Dad's Army, or lots of
>>other stuff from over here.. so why do they keep giving us US sitcoms
>>instead of home grown ones???)
>></RANT>
>>
>While I agree with Suzi about Paul's original list, I am happy that
>the likes of Cheers, M*A*S*H, and the funniest sitcom on TV here at
>the moment - (well, IMHO anyway) 3rd Rock From The Sun, made it over.
>
>
Night court.
It is a good American sitcom. When I was over in America for a while
I loved it. Now I am back home we had cable TV installed over a year
ago and on perusing the cable guide I noticed that a series of Night
Court had been shown and the last one finished about three days
before we were connected, bother. It hasn't been back since, double
bother.
--
jleith.appsearch.com - to reply replace the first dot with a lug
Chris the student
C Speed wrote:
<snip>
> Nasty place, nasty people, nasty atmosphere.
Noticing this posting, I pointed this out to a Warringtonian friend.
She will reply shortly. You have been warned
--
Chris the student
In Wales no-one can hear you over the sound of rain
Nicola Rowbottom
I don't know what to say to the Warringtonian Confessions piece. I am new
to this newsgroup but I only found it when my friend Chris the Student
pointed out this piece on his computer so I thought that I would put the
record straight.
Warrington is a very nice place. I have lived there for 16 years and
tend to carry on living there for a long time more. Nasty place you say
but I think that it is a brilliant place and there is a lot of history to
it aswell.
Yes, there is a washing powder smell if you near the main railway
station. I thought that the industry is essential to keep all your
clothes clean. Who would stand next to you if they weren't clean? So
please thank Warrington for that. I say when I look at a box of persil
or even smell it I think of home.
If you have ever been a student or even drank at a Greenalls or a Tetleys
pub, you would also thank Warrington for the beer you drink and the
Valdivar vodka that Warrington is famous for.
I know there are somethings that I don't want to shout about Warrington.
For example that Rick Astley lived here and so did Chris Evans. Peter
Postlewaite is one of the better things.
I hope that I haven't underlined the fact that Wariington contains nasty
people but I think that Warrington is the best place on earth. I
consider myself as one of the nice people in Warrington. There a few who
do let the side down in Warrington and people who come and visit can also
let the side down e.g. The IRA bombers.
I hope that some of you on this newsgroup will think of Warrington as a
better place. Do not believe all that one person has said about the
place.
Before I finish, I was told that there was a dicussion about Eddie
Stobart lorries and that they always seem to be every where. Well, if
you come to Warrington you will find a lot of them. Why? I hear you ask.
The main depot of Eddie Stobart is in Warrington so a trip to Warrington
to spot them is a must. Please do not blame me about this fact I only
live here.
Nicola (a friend of Chris the Student in Cardiff. Yes it is raining
again)
Chris the student
<snip>
> Nicola (a friend of Chris the Student in Cardiff. Yes it is raining
> again)
I did warn you.
Chris Hill
In article <337f70d0...@news.lspace.org>, "G.L. Wilson" <glinda-
the-...@eskimo.com> writes
<snip>
>mmmm.... velvet dresses... I've got a couple of those... one of which can
>be rather, um, interesting... *grin*
In what way would they be interesting, then?
I ask purely for information...
>
>>I think dear Chris is still under the
>>hose.. somehow he manages to snatch four of them so I guess I'll have
>>to get a new pair for work....
>
Actually, I'm quite getting to like it under here.
BTW, I'm not that dear - very cheap actually...
--
Chris Hill
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Chris Hill
>Chill out Martyn, else we'll have to get our leather kilt school-girls
>uniforms again...with the boots! Soon, Soon Caroline will learn to
>appreciate your assets, even though they are minemineminemineallmine
>
Chris Hill
In article <337F85...@netcomuk.co.uk>, Gid Holyoake
<G...@netcomuk.co.uk> writes
<snip>
>You don't think he may be an angler or a spelunker do you?? They often
>take hose with them..... to keep out the cold they *say*[1]
>
Could be, could be - if the money was right...
Wot's a spelunker then?
Chris Hill
In article <gqAI6FAB...@mclapham.demon.co.uk>, Martyn Clapham
<mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> writes
<snip>
>It was the usual problem, a typo not spotted until after the post
>appeared on the group ( I'm damn sure something mangles my posts before
>you lot see them ).
>
Hmm...I may have an explanation for this.
I notice you're a Demonite - are you using Turnpike perchance?
I've noticed that every few minutes Turnpike will go and have a natter
to my hard disc. While it is so preoccupied all other activity is
suspended - and that includes reading stuff into the keyboard buffer.
The upshot of this is that if, like me, you are a bad typist and have to
look at the keyboard you can be merrily typing away and not notice that
Turnpike has briefly gone on holiday. The result is several letters or
even words missing from what you were typing.
If anyone knows a way of stopping this happening (short of learning to
type properly) I'd be really interested as it's bloody annoying.
Brian Howlett
In article <337f5bc1...@newshost.visgen.com>
mri...@visgen.com (Michelena Riosa) wrote:
[snip]
>
> But I think I'll work on inspiring *vom* first.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> No, I don't think so...
>
> Michelena
>
I certainly _don't_ recommend this course of action!! "Inspiration of
Vomitus" is usually only seen on Death Certificates...[1]
[1] or should that be CERTIFICATES ;-)
--
Brian Howlett
----------------------------------------------------------
You possess a mind not only twisted, but actually sprained
Simon Brown
Chris the student spake thusly:
> <snip>
> > Nicola (a friend of Chris the Student in Cardiff. Yes it is raining
> > again)
>
> I did warn you.
Obviously no-one's warned *you* of the dangers of arousing the wrath of
the mighty Claire Speed. Although it does tend to be more fun that way, it
must be said.
(Incidentally, I believe she was talking about Anderson Consulting, not
Warrington, so you may just possibly have made quite a silly mistake...)
--
Simon Brown BF <si...@amdev.demon.co.uk> / Freelance cynic and beard-wearer
[INFP] http://www.amdev.demon.co.uk/ / Voted Most Likely to be Someone Else
Amazing DevelopMints - suck it and see.
Richard Kettlewell
Chris the student <newm...@cf.ac.uk> writes:
>C Speed wrote...
...apropos her experience of Andersen Consulting, by _my_ reading at
any rate:
>> Nasty place, nasty people, nasty atmosphere.
>
>Noticing this posting, I pointed this out to a Warringtonian friend.
>She will reply shortly. You have been warned
Wouldn't it make a little more sense to point it out to someone who
worked for the company under discussion?
--
Richard Kettlewell http://www.elmail.co.uk/~richard/
Would it be so terrible, to be a photino bird?
Michael The Roach Janszen
I sorely _hate_ my newsfeed at days - like when I receive this posting
on the 20th...
On Fri, 16 May 1997 00:18:27 GMT, mri...@visgen.com (Michelena Riosa)
shook the Earth by stating:
>(who's asset is a weee bit too *bountiful atm, and is in need of "real
>life" dieting strategies....I admit it I wanna be a *babe*!
<fx:shakes head sadly> Why? Why? It's not, you're not and you are,
IMHO.
<music starts up> Don't go changing...
<fades into silence>
penI'yIn 'ej pechep
Michael "The Roach" Janszen
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
Peerless Leader of the Post-Apocapalyptic Forces
Spammer trap - when replying by e-mail, drop the last letter
of the address...
C Speed
jfo...@atlantis.actrix.gen.nz (John Fouhy) writes:
>In article <337C2A...@mrent.demon.co.uk>,
>Shooty <an...@mrent.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> > The Beverly Hillbillies
>> Yup the story of a man named Jed etc. This keeps appearing
It does. Over and over. And my memory of the words seems to be annoyingly
just _slightly_ different to other people's...
>Come listen to s story 'bout a man named Jed,
Now listen to my story 'bout a man named Jed
>Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
A poor mountaineer, but he kept his family fed.
>Then one day he was shootin' at some food
And then one day he was shootin' at some food
>And up through the ground came a'bubblin' crude.
When up from the ground came a bubblin' crude.
>(Oil, that is. Black gold, Texas tea.)
>Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
Now the next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
>Kin folks said, Jed, move away from there!
The kin folks said, "Jed, move away from there!"
>They said California's the place you oughta be,
They said "California is the place you oughta be"
>So he packed up his bags and moved to Beverly.
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
>(Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars.)
Claire
--
******************************************************************************
* Claire Speed [ENTX] * Network & Operations Unit, Manchester Computing *
* Dial-up, ISDN, TICTAC * C.S...@mcc.ac.uk http://www.mcc.ac.uk/Claire/ *
******************************************************************************
the junkyard dog
The Junkyard Dog notes that on 18 May 1997 00:22:02 GMT,
jfo...@atlantis.actrix.gen.nz (John Fouhy) writ the following:
>Come listen to s story 'bout a man named Jed,
>Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
>Then one day he was shootin' at some food
>And up through the ground came a'bubblin' crude.
>(Oil, that is. Black gold, Texas tea.)
>
>Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
etc....
Why?
--
Ray, in the kennel of the Junkyard Dog.
Lincolnshire England.
Set the controls for the heart of the sun,
and run a level four diagnostic Mr Data.
My tea's cold.
Laurie JP Sage
In article <Pine.OSF.3.93.97051...@sparrow.qut.edu.au>,
JAMES BUCHANAN <n212...@sparrow.qut.edu.au> wrote:
>> > Rosanne, however, has gone right down the toilet.
>> >
>> > I've just read through that lot and the last line conjures up an
>> > interesting scenario.
>> >
>>
>> She wouldn't fit, would she???
>>
>Well If you cut her up into little pieces and flushed her down bit by bit
>she would go down a treat. However cutting her into managable sizes that
>are flushable would take a lot of time and lets face it, noone has enough
>time on their hands to try it. And besides it's a waste of water. let's
>just cut out the middle man and dump her out at sea.
And submerse some of the world's leading continents in a vast tidal wave,
the like of which has not been seen since all of China decided to jump up
and down?
Not to mention all the poor marine species she'd drive to the edge of
distinction, then drop them off just outside their house, because it's just
not safe to walk the streets these days I remember when we used to leave
all the doors unlocked construct neon signs outside our windows saying 'We
are terribly wealthy, please feel free to steal the sherman tank in our
garden' ahh sherman tanks now *there's* a vehicle to beat the traffic jams
ditherdithergibberdribble
--* Laurie
Manners seemed unecessary,
We're so rude it's almost scary
Laurie JP Sage
In article <337fe2e...@news.lspace.org>,
Vi...@lspace.org (Karen Hanna Kruzycka) wrote:
><rage>
>Those lovely people at TV Licensing give us blind folks a discount on
>our licences. They deduct the cost of 'what you see' from the total,
>leaving only the cost of 'what you hear' (that's the theory AIUI).
>Guess how much the discount is! Go on, guess!
>
>Okay, I'll tell you. One pound twenty five pence, that's how much.
<wry oh-it'd-be-funny-if-it-wasn't-true laugh>
Well, *obviously* they know that when your blind, your hearing gets like
superman's and you can suddenly see in a whole new spectrum *superior* to
bog-standard folks....
Just while we're on the subject, I still take great pleasure of telling
people about my grandad's occasional successes at blind painters
competitions.
Big Matt Drongo
JAMES BUCHANAN wrote:
>
> On Fri, 16 May 1997, Suzi wrote:
>
> > the junkyard dog wrote:
> > (loads of it snipped...)
> >
> > > Rosanne, however, has gone right down the toilet.
> > >
> > > I've just read through that lot and the last line conjures up an
> > > interesting scenario.
> > >
> >
> > She wouldn't fit, would she???
> >
> Well If you cut her up into little pieces and flushed her down bit by bit
> she would go down a treat. However cutting her into managable sizes that
> are flushable would take a lot of time and lets face it, noone has enough
> time on their hands to try it. And besides it's a waste of water. let's
> just cut out the middle man and dump her out at sea.
Actually Dennis Nilsen had enough time to do that as that was his
preferred method of disposing of the bodies of the sixteen young men he
murdered. He was apprehended after his plumbing system backed up due to
blockage and water engineers who came to fix the problem noticed a
strange smell coming from his drain...
Matt
Wombat
In article <338388...@geocities.com>, mjbra...@geocities.com says...
>Actually Dennis Nilsen had enough time to do that as that was his
>preferred method of disposing of the bodies of the sixteen young men he
>murdered. He was apprehended after his plumbing system backed up due to
>blockage and water engineers who came to fix the problem noticed a
>strange smell coming from his drain...
>
>Matt
And did you know that Dennis Neilsen was the one who actually complained
about the drains in the first place?
Wombat
(Who has seen Dennis Neilsen's cooker in Scotland Yard's Black Museum. Yuk!
They might at least have washed it..)
Jason Lindquist
ptom...@xcski.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
<blink><font face=Zapf-Dingbats>Use a newsreader,not a web browser
>BTW: IF anybody ever offers you a job working alongside people from Andersen
>Consulting, make sure you have a provision in your contract for
>time-and-a-half for overtime, even if you're salaried. And make sure that
>*you* get to decide how much overtime you work, not some Anderoid. Or shoot
>them.
Just shoot them first and get it over with. It'll happen
sooner or later anyways.
JL,
Glad Andersen found the jeans and turtleneck-and-flannel
interview attire repulsive... WTF was *I* thinking?
--
"There's only one thing that will make them stop hating Jason A. Lindquist
you. And that's being so good at what you do that they li...@uiuc.edu <*>
can't ignore you. I told them you were the best. Now
you damn well better be." -- Col. Hyrum Graff (O.S. Card, _Ender's Game_)
=================================NOTE========================================
Senders of unsolicited commercial/propaganda e-mail subject to fees.
Details at http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/jlindqui
jes...@innotts.co.uk
On Sat, 17 May 1997 14:58:37 GMT, Remov...@dircon.co.ukx (Listicath)
wrote:
>Caroline Jones <caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>>Michelena Riosa <mri...@visgen.com> writes
>>>Michelena
>>>(who's asset is a weee bit too *bountiful atm, and is in need of "real
>>>life" dieting strategies....I admit it I wanna be a *babe*!
>>>
>>I'm feeling the same - so, yes, running mates it is!
>
>Is it time for a diet thread? Something that doesn't involve
>excercise and allows beer and chocolate? I could do with losing a few
>pounds/inches too.
>--
Dunno how you'd do it without exercising, and still get in the beer
and choccy. I lost some weight, and a bit of an office belly (don't
drink alot, but spent a lot of time sat at a computer) when I started
playing Ultimate (sort of netball/gridiron (without the contact) cross
using a frisbee). That allows chocolate, beer, and absolutley anything
else you fancy (well, it does with my team). However, it *does*
involve exercise (just been at a tournament where the games were 90
minutes, and that's /hard/ work)
----------------------------------------------------
Andy Brown |I know that I will never be politically correct
|I don't give a damn about my lack of etiquette
|As far as I'm concerned - the world could still be flat
|And if the thrill is gone - then it's time to take it back!
jes...@innotts.co.uk
On Sat, 17 May 1997 19:21:18 GMT, mri...@visgen.com (Michelena Riosa)
wrote:
<snipped start of diet stuff>
>>Walking is good - burns lotsa claories.
>
>Especially if you want to keep the impact down....I'd also like to try
>water-exercise, but it sounds so boring...Nomatter what I have to get
>home from work so I just have to give myselg the time to commute by
>foot. I don't know the distance, but it takes an hour or so.
Well, at my rate of walking, that'd be about 4 miles, but Your Mileage
May Vary <grins, ducks, rolls, and /sprints/ for cover>
Johnathan Geoffrey HUGHES
: In article <EAFp5...@cf.ac.uk>, Nicola Rowbottom <rowb...@cf.ac.uk>
: writes
: >I don't know what to say to the Warringtonian Confessions piece. I am new
: >to this newsgroup but I only found it when my friend Chris the Student
: >pointed out this piece on his computer so I thought that I would put the
: >record straight.
: >
: >Warrington is a very nice place. I have lived there for 16 years and
: >tend to carry on living there for a long time more. Nasty place you say
: >but I think that it is a brilliant place and there is a lot of history to
: >it aswell.
: >
: [ snippage ]
: >Nicola (a friend of Chris the Student in Cardiff. Yes it is raining
: > again)
Hey Nicola,
Welcome to AFP. Will you marry me?
(Hey, your first AFProposal . . and from an Aussie!)
---------<--@
--
| | Johnathan G Hughes Esq John 3:16 |
| __ |__ |__ __ mailto:jhu...@hardy.ocs.mq.edu.au --+--
| | | | | | | | | http://hardy.ocs.mq.edu.au/~jhughes |
\__/ \__/ | | | | \__/ Christian and Inquisitor General of AFP |
the junkyard dog
The Junkyard Dog notes that on Wed, 21 May 1997 09:44:02 +0000, Shooty
<an...@mrent.demon.co.uk> writ the following:
>Come listen to s story 'bout a man named Jed,
>> >Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
>> >Then one day he was shootin' at some food
>> >And up through the ground came a'bubblin' crude.
>> >(Oil, that is. Black gold, Texas tea.)
>> >
>> >Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
>> etc....
>I know a version of this thats so RUDe you would'nt believe it!
>
>Shooty
Well don't keep us in suspenders, get writing.
Laurie JP Sage
In article <3385a997...@news.lspace.org>,
tajw...@ihug.co.nzi (T J Wilkinson) wrote:
>But don't go on a diet, something like 95%
>of diets fail - basically because your body thinks you're in the
>middle of a famine and sensibly cuts back on the amount of food you
>require, pulls out all the stops to try to get you to eat more and
>when you do start eating more stores it up as fat in case there's
>another famine.
Indeed - and crash diets work exceptionally well (when one doesn't eat
anything at all, or very, very little) because the body triggers that
famine reaction and starts eating up its fat stores, which looks great on
scales, until you realise that you've actually started your enzymes eating
yourself and there'll be a party going on once you start normal eating
again.
That's the whole thing with yo-yo dieting - your body doesn't know when
it's going to be eating or what it's going to be eating or what's the right
amount.
Poor little body....
<s>
--* Laurie
"It's a cross between a rottweiler and a chiuahaua.
I think they musta used some kinda lubricant...."
Laurie JP Sage
In article <gqAI6FAB...@mclapham.demon.co.uk>,
Martyn Clapham <mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>When I quoted Caroline, I missed the quote character off the line after
>editing it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, OK?
>
>Caroline, Michelena, you believe me, don't you?
You know - that'd come across a lot better if you had the bra on *under*
your shirt....
Chris Hill
In article <AFA9D363...@goblinc.demon.co.uk>, Laurie JP Sage
<lau...@goblinc.demon.co.uk> writes
<snip>
>--* Laurie
>"It's a cross between a rottweiler and a chiuahaua.
>I think they musta used some kinda lubricant...."
>
>
the proud owner of a second 2000AD enamel badge?
If you are, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not - sorry to
disturb, must get on...
[1] I can't imagine there being two...
--
Chris Hill
The Official Michelena Riosa Testosterone Brigade
jes...@innotts.co.uk
On Sat, 17 May 1997 09:19:40 +0100, Caroline Jones
<caro...@arpeggio.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <ECGBQAAY...@mclapham.demon.co.uk>, Martyn Clapham
><mar...@mclapham.demon.co.uk> writes
<SNIP>
>>
>>[1] This of course is 'fair' as in nice to look at, not as in blonde.
>>Although the latter is probably required if you are going to be a 'babe'
>
>Sorry, it's dark brown - pass the peroxide.....
Don't you dare!
If you have to change it, do something different
(from someone who's about to spend the weekend with his normally brown
hair coloured silver)
jes...@innotts.co.uk
On Sun, 18 May 1997 19:57:56 GMT, mri...@visgen.com (Michelena Riosa)
wrote:
<snip>
>
>Chill out Martyn, else we'll have to get our leather kilt school-girls
>uniforms again...with the boots! Soon, Soon Caroline will learn to
>appreciate your assets, even though they are minemineminemineallmine
>
This is all some plot to make me drown in my own drool, isn't it?
Pass the hose Chris.
Nathan F. Yospe
mri...@visgen.com (Michelena Riosa) wrote:
:On Sun, 18 May 1997 23:39:26 +0100, Gid Holyoake <G...@netcomuk.co.uk>
:wrote:
:>You don't think he may be an angler or a spelunker do you?? They often
:>take hose with them..... to keep out the cold they *say*[1]
:>[1] and having done both.. I concur<G>
:
:*shudder* I'd rather jump out of a plane that get in a cave....
Caves are fine... been through a good number of lava tubes... but
there is one thing that scares the beeheysuse out of me: swimming
into an underwater cave. Especially one with nasty legends of man
eating reptilian sea women. And a color similar to blood, from an
algae of some kind. And a nasty undertow (which was actually what
scared me about it, honest. At least, until that wet, slimy thing
wrapped around my ankle. So it turned out to be seaweed, it still
scared the crap out of me[1].). That, and the fact that the other
caves nearby had been used for burial. So, why was I diving there
in the first place? Archeology trip. Never again, thank you.
[1] No, not literally.
--
Nathan F. Yospe | There is nothing wrong with being a sociopath. Its
yo...@hawaii.edu | getting caught thats a problem. Be a mad scientist
UH Manoa Physics | Write poetry. Be an artist. Plot world domination.
Biomedical Phys. | Panthers make great pets. Muhahahahahahahahahaha!!
Gid Holyoake
Martyn Clapham wrote:
Snippety snip..
> There is only one piccy of me on the web, and that's a head and
> shoulders shot, so I don't know what you've been looking at but it
> weren't me!
>
> BTW regarding the sig, if it's a female rottweiler and a male chiuahaua
> why do you need a lubricant, packing would be nearer the mark.
Unless someone put him up to it..
ohsorryohsorryohsorryIcouldn'tresistit!!!!!
Gid
--
Exclamator of OOPPS!!!!! and Keeper of the Whiskies!!!!!
Homophonophiliac Society. | reply to:
Assistant Researcher in Weighs of Spelling |
Surrealistic Pedant Rating: Pumpkin | G...@netcomuk.co.uk
Albedo: Dim Libido: Springish |
Steve
On 19 May 1997 10:51:10 GMT, per...@mcc.ac.uk (C Speed) wrote:
>ptom...@xcski.com (Paul Tomblin) writes:
>
>
>>North West Water, New Town House, Warrington. OS Grid SJ6088. Don't ask how
>>I know which grid square it was in - I wasn't calling in an artillery strike
>>on the place, tempting as that might have bee.
>
>I worked for Andersen Consulting, at North West Water, during the summer of
>1992...
>
>Only for a week - as a "personal assistant to the Personell Manager"- when I
>was temping to pay the university bills.[1]
>
Oh, I work for Vertex at NWW at the moment, superb company (not just
cos i'm onsite at the moment) . I'm sure it has some good points, well
maybe not but you can't have everything.
See you all on Friday
Giggling nervously in the face of oncoming traffic...
Courtesy PB Magazine
the junkyard dog
The Junkyard Dog notes that on Tue, 20 May 1997 19:19:19 +0100,
lau...@goblinc.demon.co.uk (Laurie JP Sage) writ the following:
>And submerse some of the world's leading continents in a vast tidal wave,
>the like of which has not been seen since all of China decided to jump up
>and down?
>
I remember that day. Scary.
>Not to mention all the poor marine species she'd drive to the edge of
>distinction, then drop them off just outside their house, because it's just
>not safe to walk the streets these days I remember when we used to leave
>all the doors unlocked construct neon signs outside our windows saying 'We
>are terribly wealthy, please feel free to steal the sherman tank in our
>garden' ahh sherman tanks now *there's* a vehicle to beat the traffic jams
>ditherdithergibberdribble
Believe it or not, I used to live round the corner from a guy who had
a sherman tank in his front drive. Really. True as sit 'ere guv.
'onest. That was in Watford. No-one parked outside his house.
I was also almost run down by a Humvee last year, in New York of all
places. I know it's a tough town but that - was - a bit of surprise
when it came howling round the corner. All black and shiny it was,
with a bunch of city types hanging out the windows.
Just thought I'd mention it.
Michelena Riosa
>That's the whole thing with yo-yo dieting - your body doesn't know when
>it's going to be eating or what it's going to be eating or what's the right
>amount.
>Poor little body....
I agree, I yo-you'd for over 20 years ( my *mom* put me onna diet
young!!!) until I hit bottom for a few years.
All I know is I gotta dress (nothing suggestive) that I have and I
shal plug away, day by day until I learn how to fit it...Being sick
and toxic (which can happen when you eat yourself) is NOT in the
equation!
Michelena ( who has learned, she makes a *terrible* rissotto!)
--
"and."
-Terry Pratchett