Re: "Puns of the Weak" 10/6/00
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Iver Setah Goatlips" <SamS...@your.service.ma'am> wrote in message
> news:Xns968688A2C312...@68.1.17.6...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> > news:42C4F64D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> news:4283C0BF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > >> >
> > >> > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > >> > > (Helen
> > >> Hoke)
> > >> >
> > >> > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > >> > please explain it to me?
> > >>
> > >> It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > >> military jargon: Die or BTs!
> > >
> > > Jargon: Jar Jar Binks has departed.
> > >
> > > Qui-Gon: So has Qui.
> > >
> >
> > Hexagon: So has the sorcerer.
>
> The sorcerer's gone for a cupper!
Anakin: Relatives of a Sith Lord.
nemo
The real one or the sithetic one?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433CE0BE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:428B2700...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4283C0BF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > > (Helen
> > > > > Hoke)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > > please
> > > > > > explain it to me?
> > > > >
> > > > > It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > > military
> > > > > jargon: Die or BTs!
> > > >
> > > > BZ: Apine zombie.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Narr. That's the apine's bonce, nut, napper, dome . . . !
> >
> > Bee C: Apine ocean.
> >
> > Bee D: Apine demon.
>
> Bee G: Apine/Equine pop group member.
Bee J: Apine oral sex.
Bee M: Apine shit.
Bee N: Spanish apine that feels good.
Bee O: Stinky apine.
Bee P: Apine urine or an apine oil company.
Bee Q: Apines in line.
Bee S: Apine bovine shit.
Bee T: Apine beverage.
Bee TU: Energetic apine.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Fer Rick: Iron man.
Geologi Cal: Earth man.
Hallucin Nate: Man who imagines things.
Kar Mick: A Zen Master.
Tim Bruening
Balker: Round dog.
Become: Bee sexual climax.
Hiker: Dog greeting.
Liker: Fibbing dog.
Shocker: Electric dog.
Talker: Tall canine.
Walker: Wall of canines.
Tim Bruening
people who specialize in architecture. His talent is to make
blueprints (blue colored diagrams of planned buildings) with
his feet or hands.
2. Drawkcab: Can reverse time and magic.
3. Fect: Fect`s talent is Practicing. Fect can
improve tools and furniture by using them, and improve
buildings by living in them. By concentrating, Fect can
practice a tool to perfection in minutes. For more
information about such a talent, please read The
Practice Effect by David Brin.
4. Fect`s brother Maxwell (as in Maxwell`s Demon,
who can separate fast molecules from slow ones): Maxwell`s
talent is Reversing or Reducing Entropy (tendency of things
to become less orderly), in violation of the 2nd Law of
Thermodynamics (entropy always increases). Maxwell can
touch a mound of rubble and turn it back into a building.
He can also make a fallen object jump back up, and mend
if it is broken. However, he cannot create or destroy
energy (1st Law of Thermodynamics: Total energy remains
constant), so he must absorb energy from his surroundings
to perform the above feats, thus causing local temperatures
to fall. He can also cause heat to move from a cool place
to a warm place in violation of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
Thus Maxwell can make a small area very hot or cold while
making a larger area slightly colder or hotter. Maxwell
can even make objects move fast by causing their molecules
to move in the same direction (which also makes them very cold).
5. Gravis, who can intensify or weaken gravity.
Tim Bruening
Harper: Price of a stringed musical instrument.
Halper: Price of an intelligent computer (H.A.L.).
Music: Sick cow.
Tim Bruening
Bucker: $1 dog.
Convertible: Bull that changes.
Convertable: Table that changes.
Currency: Ocean of money.
Euro: Not my row.
Tim Bruening
Averse: One hostile song.
Adverse: Singing commercials.
Amuse: One poet.
Bemuse: Buzzing insect poet.
Diverse: Swan song.
Reverse: To sing again.
Universe: A song with just one verse.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Biologi Cal, Ecologi Cal, Zoologi Cal: Men who work to protect and study
the environment.
Com Mick, Come Dick: Funny men.
Demon Nick, Demon Ted, Diaboli Cal, Satan Nick: Evil man.
Econom Mick: Man interested in finances.
Tim Bruening
Cheaper: Price of low prices.
Deeper: Price of going down into the sea.
Heaper: Price of piles.
Helper: Price of admittance to Satan's Domain.
Sleeper: Price of rest or sex.
nemo
Galaxy: A very large young lady with no morals.
And with the pretentious stupid way the pop singer morons pronounce things
these days, the ad jingle for the chocolate bar went
Smooth and creamair,
Galaxeee!
Well if the stupid bastards can sing "Galaxeee!" why the f*ck can't they
sing "creamy" instead of "creamair" Stupid Charlie Uniform November Tangos!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Iver Setah Goatlips" <SamS...@your.service.ma'am> wrote in message
> news:Xns968688A2C312...@68.1.17.6...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> > news:42C4F64D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> news:4283C0BF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > >> >
> > >> > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > >> > > (Helen
> > >> Hoke)
> > >> >
> > >> > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > >> > please explain it to me?
> > >>
> > >> It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > >> military jargon: Die or BTs!
> > >
nemo
Sings . . . .
Who's Anakin at my door?
Who's Anakin at my door?
Who's Anakin at my door?
Cried the fair young maiden.
It's me, my love, it's only me
Cried Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
It's me, my love, it's only me
Cried Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
It's Bare Knuckle Bill the Sailor yoo gotta be careful of!!
I remember Olly Voil and Poe Pie singing that one!
nemo
Ferodo: Relative of a brake lining!
And why do you feel nice and relaxed whenever you find a piece of foliage
that's so old it's lost all its colour??
Because it's a grey tree leaf!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Kapyozhnik!! What about the Pole's Zloti nose then?
Thighnancies: Money matters in a gay brothel.
nemo
Kar Mick and Nick: Two automobile repair men.
nemo
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:48E707E5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Someone who bullies Zens?
nemo
Dirty old sod: Man interested in thigh nancies!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
And a lot of damned use they've turned out to be! (High Ronnie!)
nemo
Kar Mica Nick: Works in a garage.
nemo
Reece Ession: Man fed up with finances!
nemo
> Ergonom Mick: Specilizes in worker comfort.
>
> Fer Rick: Iron man.
Apparently, after all my other trubbles, I've now got too much of an
iron-bearing protien ferretin around in my liver!
Iron bearing? That'd be no good. It'd wear out in no time.
Trubbles? No. My home hasn't fallen down yet.
> Geologi Cal: Earth man.
>
> Hallucin Nate: Man who imagines things.
>
> Kar Mick: A Zen Master.
When the husband arrives home and finds you at it with his wife in all kinds
of funny positions: Karma Shootya!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Have you had such an experiance?
nemo
[Drops trousers, lifts Marks & Spencers' shirt and uses mirror to count
holes in bum . . . . ]
No! There's still only the one hole!
If it's her taté who catches yer, you could end up at a Shadkhen wedding
already!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Fer Rick: Iron man.
Geologi Cal: Earth man.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Iver Setah Goatlips" <SamS...@your.service.ma'am> wrote in message
> news:Xns968688A2C312...@68.1.17.6...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> > news:42C4F64D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433CE0BE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:428B2700...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4283C0BF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > > (Helen
> > > > > Hoke)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > > please
> > > > > > explain it to me?
> > > > >
> > > > > It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > > military
> > > > > jargon: Die or BTs!
> > > >
> > > > BZ: Apine zombie.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Narr. That's the apine's bonce, nut, napper, dome . . . !
> >
> > Bee C: Apine ocean.
> >
> > Bee D: Apine demon.
>
> Bee G: Apine/Equine pop group member.
Bee J: Apine oral sex.
Bee M: Apine shit.
Bee N: Spanish apine that feels good.
Bee O: Stinky apine.
Bee P: Apine urine or an apine oil company.
Bee Q: Apines in line.
Bee S: Apine bovine shit.
Bee T: Apine beverage.
Bee TU: Energetic apine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Iver Setah Goatlips" <SamS...@your.service.ma'am> wrote in message
> news:Xns968688A2C312...@68.1.17.6...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> > news:42C4F64D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >> news:4283C0BF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> > Stan Kegel wrote:
> > >> >
> > >> > > Diabetes: That baseball team has sworn they'll either diabetes.
> > >> > > (Helen
> > >> Hoke)
> > >> >
> > >> > That pun went right over my head and out of the park. Could you
> > >> > please explain it to me?
> > >>
> > >> It's a choice between death or telecomms terminal blocks in BT or
> > >> military jargon: Die or BTs!
> > >
> > > Jargon: Jar Jar Binks has departed.
> > >
> > > Qui-Gon: So has Qui.
> > >
> >
> > Hexagon: So has the sorcerer.
>
> The sorcerer's gone for a cupper!
Anakin: Relatives of a Sith Lord.
Men who shake the Earth: Geologi Cal, Seismiclogi Cal.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Beware of Preg Nancy and Malig Nancy.