February 30 Puns
Tim Bruening
During the 1930s, the USSR twice had a February 30.
Subcast: Actors in an underwater play. They must follow the subplot.
Subceller: Lowest part of an underwater house.
Subceller: To sell submarines.
Subdean: What happened to Dean's poll numbers.
Suburban: To ban mermaids.
Tim Bruening
Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.
Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.
Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.
Subshell: Outside of a submarine.
Tim Bruening
Alan wrote:
> On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 13:30:25 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>
> >On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 20:28:15 GMT, Alan <bogf...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>Sounds like sharp advice
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>Try to really avoid the ones named "Barb-y."
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>You met Barb Dwyer?
> >>>>>
> >>>>>Yeah, but I was sorta on the fence about her.
> >>>>
> >>>>I heard she had a lot of stile.
> >>>
> >>>She was more than a little loopy, if you ask me.
> >>
> >>She was strung out when I saw her.
> >
> >And probably dumb as a post.
>
> Well, a Pole anyway.
Gallup, Zogby, ABC, CBS, or etc...?
Zogby: Apine that asks political questions.
Tim Bruening
"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
> So then Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> said:
> >>So then "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> said:
> >>>> So then Alan <bogf...@hotmail.com> said:
> >>>> >On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:40:57 -0700, Tim Bruening
> >
> >>>> >>Why didn't Noah do any fishing?
> >>>> >>Because he had only two worms.
> >>>> >Why didn't Noah play cards?
> >>>> >The elephants were sitting on the deck.
> >>>> Ivory much doubt that.
> >>>If it were (sub junk tiff) the poop deck, they'd have been shitting on
> >>>the deck instead.
> >>Then they'd cook up their calfs in a baby elephant wok.
> >
> >Did you know that Noah was Japanese? After it was all over he
> >committed Hatari-kari.
>
> One of the cattle drown due to his clumsiness, so he had to do the
> honor a bull thing.
How Terri Bull!
Tim Bruening
Stan Kegel wrote:
> PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 10-18-04
>
> THE ONE-LINERS
>
> He used to kiss her on her lips, but it's all over now. (Marsha Coleman)
>
> Women have finally found acceptance in virtually every occupation in India
> except bookkeeping. With all the progress, there's still no accounting for
> women. (John S. Crosbie)
>
> Then there was the clumsy file clerk who dropped her birth control pills
> into the Xerox machine. It wouldn't reproduce for a month. (Paul Cooper)
>
> Didja hear about the circus fire eater who settled down and married his old
> flame? They had a son who wanted to go into his dad's business when he grew
> up but dad was unable to pass the torch. (Gary Hallock)
In fact, the son got fired!
> When the FBI arrested the head of a Mafia family, he turned out to be a very
> proud man and kept refusing to answer their questions. They grilled him all
> night without success but finally, when morning came, the don broke. (John
> S. Crosbie)
Pardon: Mafia boss playing golf.
> What might happen to a student at Harry Potter's school if he/she is unable
> to successfully perform a single simple act of conjuring?
> The Get Hex-Spelled (Gary Hallock)
Like the custodian with the cat?
> Martha Stewart is sharing new quarters. How might she address her roomie
> that sounds like advice that will get her in trouble again?
> Cell mate! (Bob Dvorak)
Cell Mate: To put one's spouse on the auction block.
> What do you call an 18-wheeler carrying a big load of bottle of Crisco
> Oil Rig (Clynch Varnadore)
Is it driven by the Crisco Kid?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41133EAA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Dead rodent: Mouseover.
> >
> > Dead sheep: No more RAM.
> >
> > Ramming: A sheep vase.
>
> Foaming: The enemies of the dynasty.
Ramming: A China ruled by male sheep?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Tim Bruening
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nemo
A China what ruled by male sheep? Pot? And the sheep is stoned?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
I dunno? How terri bull?
nemo
Vi zogstu dieser politisher fragen?
nemo
That's the K sing.
nemo
Rural: Part of the land where people regret everything.
Arable farmer. He grows crops.
Orrible farmer. He grows animals for slaughghghghghter!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Outside of a submarine, is the sea!
Unless it's in dried Hock!
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
nemo
He was a Terri Bull dancer as well. He used to make a right mess of the
Bossy Nova!
nemo
Vass zogt er in dieser politicher fragen?
nemo
Why? Are they randy ones and are eating all the cod?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Battering Ram: Sheep preparing fried fish!
nemo
It was ruled by a rodent once: Mousey Tong with eez little-read book!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Don Stockbauer
> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > >>So then "nemo" <n...@naughtylass2.wet> said:
> > >>>> So then Alan <bogfe...@hotmail.com> said:
> > >>>> >On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 15:40:57 -0700, Tim Bruening
>
> > >>>> >>Why didn't Noah do any fishing?
> > >>>> >>Because he had only two worms.
> > >>>> >Why didn't Noah play cards?
> > >>>> >The elephants were sitting on the deck.
> > >>>> Ivory much doubt that.
> > >>>If it were (sub junk tiff) the poop deck, they'd have been shitting on
> > >>>the deck instead.
> > >>Then they'd cook up their calfs in a baby elephant wok.
>
> > >Did you know that Noah was Japanese? After it was all over he
> > >committed Hatari-kari.
>
> > One of the cattle drown due to his clumsiness, so he had to do the
> > honor a bull thing.
>
> How Terri Bull!
What do yo get when you cross a bull with another bull?
A cross bull!