Favorite shows-VERNON DOZIER
SJC
"Respect Disney or ELSE, FATSO!"-It's Disneyland booster day, and in
Florida Disney world, Vernon suggests that ALL Disney parks, and that
ESPECIALLY means the one back in California, people to get their Walt
Disney on more often. EVEN if it MEANS bowing to MICKEY! Just two
callers, that I know, but both are outraged. You will not guess what
Mickey's head means. Actually, guess what private male protection Walt
invented..and he INVENTED ALL the public conviences, as the point of
the show is [Originally aired on 5/08/01.] Callers: Brandon, Ron.
"Frank Sinatra did it HIS way, so should YOU TOO, or ELSE you're
nothing, buddy!"-BOY, is Vernon Dozier insistent...He is a fan of
Frank's fan club, and insists anyone doing it their way is preferable
to anyone making sacrifices. [Originally aired on 11/19/01.]
"Bobby Go Brown"-One of the all-time Phil Hendrie cult-classics of the
show. At a post 9/11 plane investigae, our favorite all time
egalitarian Vernon has "tard" Bobby check airplane check lines at the
security gate, and he gets either the reward, cracker with cream
cheese, or the penalty, as he's wired up, electric shock, which makes
him go brown. One caller only, and she's outragrtd beyond hell. This
may be just one of the most famous Phil Hendrie show bits of all time.
Sometime even did a YouTube cartoon or something set to this as a
dialogue track, with Hanna-Barbera library stock sound effects! "Did
you go brown?" [Originally aired on 11/??/01]. Caller: Lisa.
"Can I protect your kid, and maybe a little peek,too?"-Vernon, an
Oregon state native this time, is bordering on priest type when he
monitors kids in or his local Operation: Assistin' Kids SAFELY!-
acronym: OAKS, but intricately looking at the kids and not to dressed
mothers, thus bordering on pervert [this is one of a similiarly themed
show, similiar with Steve Bosell's standup comic sub-teme of the
period.] [Originally aired on 4/9/02].
"MILF it does a body good---but MINE ONLY, KID!"-Vernon is banned from
coaching basketball for defending his wife from a little kid calling
Mrs.Dozier's nipples "raisins" and her breasts "cupcakes", calling her
a upstanding class act, or is she? She's in Jumbo's Clown Room, Butt-
Melon magazine [is there such a thing?]...hmm..YEP QUITE the wholesome
wife there. One stressed and angry caller, Catherine, sounds almost
like a Hendrie character in her own right.[Originally aired on 5/29?/
02.]. Callers: Lisa, Catherine, Jeff, and Aaron [the middle two very
brief.]
"There Is Nothing Like a Blonde-but ONLY if she's BLONDE"-Vernon is
sexually aroused by blonde hair, and again with his wife, dejected
when, as she's a bleached blonde,she decides to unbleach herself. He
then gives a list of popular blondes such as Marilyn Monroe to Heather
Graham, and says "so on and on". Callers are ticked off by his sexism.
WHAT a PIG! [Originally aired on 9/30/02].Callers: Sherry, Roberta,
Patty, Mike, and Shawn.
"Bring on Jenna and Barbara's, uh, Bush!"-It's 2004, time to vote,
but should Vernon vote for Jenna and Barbara Bush, or for Terersa
Heinz--WAIT--George W.Bush, Jr., or John Kerry. Yes, the candidates
are bringing the girls. The callers treat Vernon like the sexist pig
he usually is. One of several of these,. Vernon is a Republiccan in
this one.[Originally aired on 8/30/04.]
"Man, I Get off on Laura's,.Bush!"- Again, sexism and voting mix in
the world of Vernon Dozier, since he is aroused, [a Democrat now], and
has a "pup tent."
[Originally aired on 1/20/05.]
SJC
By the way, in reply to Aaron's comment, not just every male between 6
and 20 or 30 but a lot over 30, in fact FIFTY years old, love a hot
babe!!!!