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A list of some of the funniest classic bits-VERNON DOZIER
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Vernon Dozier
Feb 4, 2013, 3:13:14 PM2/4/13
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1."Retard Securty"-November 5, 2001-You know this bit---Vernon has post-9/11 security check at a major airplane with a re- I mena, disabled fellow named Bobby who, if he does right, gets a graham cracker with cream cheese on it (LOL) and if he fails ("bmbs"-actually parcels pointed out by Vernon to represent bombs), he has to identoiy them or Vernon will attach some wires and pull a swich like in some freak cartoon from the 60s, and send shock waves through Bobby and then oop (double LOL) outk,, and "Bobby Go Brown".Only one caller, Lisa.
2."Alternative Family Relationships"-July 18,2002-Vernon's havin' big love with his twenty two year old daughter. His book? Alternative Family Relationships. The titles? Oh-------, My Pretty Pony PJs, Dance like Britney, Let's Get Away from Mom,etc. Vernon should just be glad that his daughter is not 15 or something. Pervert. One caller, Susanna, gets cut off in a traffic jam during her mad call.Music:"Birtney SPear's(so who ELSE?))"Oops I did it again"(??)
3."Milf it does a body good-MY BODY-STAY AWAY"-May 9,2002-Vernon's suspended as high school basketball teacher because he belted some kids one for calling his hot mom a MILF, with her work in Butt Melon magaine (not that the kids even know of THAT)
4."There is nothing like a dame, true, but if only if she's BLONDE"!-September 23,2002-Vernon's got a problem-His former nmatural brunette wife, who turned blonde to please him, giving him "the best sex that I've ever had", has now restored her hair color on him, and he's rebuffed.
5."No EATING Areas!"-Augist 2003-Hey, here's an idea-no smoking areas, then no EATING areas. Least that's how Vernon Dozier sees it. He even kicked meat out of a dog's mouth. You seem he has to go in for by pass surgery..
6."Daughter needs a spanly"(not sure on date for this)-Vernon is a divorced man who really enjoys SUperbowl/poker get togtehers at a bar, and spangking his fourteen year old duaghter Amanda when she gets out of control. It provides some sexual turn on.
7."Love me LOVE my FASHION SHOW"-June 18, 2004-The famous Fashion bit, Vernon's an honourary girl at daughter Britney (so Miss Spears NOW is his daughter eh..and eleven..) slum,ber party. He shows how to be a fashion model.
8."AREAL Small World"-July 12,2005, rerun July 132005-Vernon's against ANY Islam;/.Muslkim showing, evne It's a Small World Arab stuff, becuse "THAT's fearsome for an Ameircan in a post 9/11/2001 word to see". Thje scaredycat.
9."Vernon on Fire"-November 4,2003-Famous home lost in fire bit as Vernon's house in a p nice place then gewts caught on fire with other houses. His neighbors are nice but he rejects it as HE is the GODLY perosn, going to churchj. DUring the middle part Phil Hendire for some reason, too many drugs maybe as the Phil hendire show Fans Site said, or maybe too much of that Yucca drink that he mentioned on 9/15//00 after the Chris Norton "Photo Booth" bit, or some other hangover, is now doing STVE BOSELL instead continuting this, through the final poart but switcvhes back as VERNON DOZIER and the bit continues, all HALF HOUR as if this back and forth switchh NEVER EVEN happened (see thrread <a href="http://philhendrieshowfans.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2043&start=15>"Does Anybody Else remember this truly WEIRD thing that time?"</a>)
10."Alladin Soundtrack"-Fall 2001--Vernon smashed his preschool age little girl's CD because it had an ALladian soundtrack. Took place right after 9/11.
S
Almost want to just restrict this to a Top 10 but..
11."Respect DISNEYLAND or ELSE FATSO"-Spring-SUmmer 2001-Vernon has a different opinion here is Disney that he will later but he boosts DIsneywortld, Disneyland, etc. and wants YOU, the fans to BOW DOWN to MICKEY in any form, even the stattue in the middle of all Disney parks of Mickey and Walt in front of the castle. Disneyworld and Calif.Anaheim..Phil was going to Disneyworld atthis time..Vernon mentions things that HE credits to Disney, but were actually earlier done like others (Kodak color film, ice cream in cups, and what have you), and then a shocking thing at the end.
12."Laughted Thru the Beating"-June 9,2004..-Vernon makes a crying kid as punishment for cyring and who has asthma run the distance and collapse. Yep, tomato BISQUE,.
Yeahk I'm vernon..
2."Alternative Family Relationships"-July 18,2002-Vernon's havin' big love with his twenty two year old daughter. His book? Alternative Family Relationships. The titles? Oh-------, My Pretty Pony PJs, Dance like Britney, Let's Get Away from Mom,etc. Vernon should just be glad that his daughter is not 15 or something. Pervert. One caller, Susanna, gets cut off in a traffic jam during her mad call.Music:"Birtney SPear's(so who ELSE?))"Oops I did it again"(??)
3."Milf it does a body good-MY BODY-STAY AWAY"-May 9,2002-Vernon's suspended as high school basketball teacher because he belted some kids one for calling his hot mom a MILF, with her work in Butt Melon magaine (not that the kids even know of THAT)
4."There is nothing like a dame, true, but if only if she's BLONDE"!-September 23,2002-Vernon's got a problem-His former nmatural brunette wife, who turned blonde to please him, giving him "the best sex that I've ever had", has now restored her hair color on him, and he's rebuffed.
5."No EATING Areas!"-Augist 2003-Hey, here's an idea-no smoking areas, then no EATING areas. Least that's how Vernon Dozier sees it. He even kicked meat out of a dog's mouth. You seem he has to go in for by pass surgery..
6."Daughter needs a spanly"(not sure on date for this)-Vernon is a divorced man who really enjoys SUperbowl/poker get togtehers at a bar, and spangking his fourteen year old duaghter Amanda when she gets out of control. It provides some sexual turn on.
7."Love me LOVE my FASHION SHOW"-June 18, 2004-The famous Fashion bit, Vernon's an honourary girl at daughter Britney (so Miss Spears NOW is his daughter eh..and eleven..) slum,ber party. He shows how to be a fashion model.
8."AREAL Small World"-July 12,2005, rerun July 132005-Vernon's against ANY Islam;/.Muslkim showing, evne It's a Small World Arab stuff, becuse "THAT's fearsome for an Ameircan in a post 9/11/2001 word to see". Thje scaredycat.
9."Vernon on Fire"-November 4,2003-Famous home lost in fire bit as Vernon's house in a p nice place then gewts caught on fire with other houses. His neighbors are nice but he rejects it as HE is the GODLY perosn, going to churchj. DUring the middle part Phil Hendire for some reason, too many drugs maybe as the Phil hendire show Fans Site said, or maybe too much of that Yucca drink that he mentioned on 9/15//00 after the Chris Norton "Photo Booth" bit, or some other hangover, is now doing STVE BOSELL instead continuting this, through the final poart but switcvhes back as VERNON DOZIER and the bit continues, all HALF HOUR as if this back and forth switchh NEVER EVEN happened (see thrread <a href="http://philhendrieshowfans.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=2043&start=15>"Does Anybody Else remember this truly WEIRD thing that time?"</a>)
10."Alladin Soundtrack"-Fall 2001--Vernon smashed his preschool age little girl's CD because it had an ALladian soundtrack. Took place right after 9/11.
S
Almost want to just restrict this to a Top 10 but..
11."Respect DISNEYLAND or ELSE FATSO"-Spring-SUmmer 2001-Vernon has a different opinion here is Disney that he will later but he boosts DIsneywortld, Disneyland, etc. and wants YOU, the fans to BOW DOWN to MICKEY in any form, even the stattue in the middle of all Disney parks of Mickey and Walt in front of the castle. Disneyworld and Calif.Anaheim..Phil was going to Disneyworld atthis time..Vernon mentions things that HE credits to Disney, but were actually earlier done like others (Kodak color film, ice cream in cups, and what have you), and then a shocking thing at the end.
12."Laughted Thru the Beating"-June 9,2004..-Vernon makes a crying kid as punishment for cyring and who has asthma run the distance and collapse. Yep, tomato BISQUE,.
Yeahk I'm vernon..
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Vernon Dozier
Feb 5, 2013, 9:53:17 PM2/5/13
to
6."Daughter needs a spanky"UPDATE:Got date: January 23,2003-Vernon is a divorced man who really enjoys SUperbowl/poker get togtehers at a bar, and spangking his fourteen year old duaghter Amanda when she gets out of control. It provides some sexual turn on.
12." F OFF!"-Fall 2002-If you're a guy besieged so eone guilt tripping you by canvassing you gpfor anything, tell themn to F OFF!
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