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Jul 23, 2007, 10:21:43 PM7/23/07
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fired.

The good news: really great Internet humor is picked up too.


From the land of "Put the shrimp on the barby, Marlene:"

I was travelling on a tram the other day and in one seat
there was an old digger (Australian soldier or ex soldier)
reading his newspaper.

Across from him was a juvenile with a spikey mohawk haircut
coloured pink, green, orange and yellow.

The old digger kept looking over his newspaper at him.

Finally the young bloke spat the dummy, and yelled at the
elderly gent, "What the f......k are you looking at you silly
old bastard, haven't you ever done anything outrageous yourself ?

As cool as a cucumber the old digger put down his paper and said,

"I screwed a parrot once, and I was wondering if you were my son"


Actually, I consider the people to have fired themselves.

It's weird when you're on the controlling side: I almost started putting
skull stickers on my terminal for each 'kill'. Thought it would be funny.


(Real Country Song Title:)

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
----------------------------------------

Tom and Linda were driving their car behind Lorena Bobbit on
the day she cut her husband's penis off. When she threw it out
the window, it hit Tom's windshield.

Tom turned the windshield wipers on, cleared the mess, turned
to Linda and said, "Did you see the dick on that bug?"

For the past two years on Wall Street, I have monitored
employee Internet email, using homegrown snarf code.

Monitored by keyword spotting software with keyword spotting exclusion logic.

I call this software: the Internet Risk Management Analytics.

The NSA calls theirs DICTIONARY.

The results of monitoring were stunning.

Absolutely stunning.


If you would like a full copy of the tail, email me with Subject line "Request
Monitoring Tale". It is in the


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