Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to own a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's dvine to have a dick.
From the tinyest little [Trojan?]
To the world's largest prick.
So, three cheers for your willy or John Thomas!
Hurray, for your one-eyed trouser snake.
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend your [buddy?]
or your cock, you can wrap it up in ribbons,
you can stuff it in your sock.
But don't take it out in public or they'll throw you in the stocks,
And you won't come back!
Old Women: "Frightfully witty tune . . "
Anyone know if that's it exact?
/
[song deleted :-)]
> Anyone know if that's it exact?
Almost. I cannot remember the corrections off hand, but have a booklet
with the words from the "Monty Python Sings" cassette. I'll e-mail them if
you want! (Or post if everyone else wants :-)
</\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\></\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\>
< Philip J. Stephens >< "Many views yield the truth." >
< Hons. student, Computer Science >< "Therefore, be not alone." >
< La Trobe University, Melbourne >< - Prime Song of the viggies >
<\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/><\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/>
>[...splendid song partially deleted]
>From the tinyest little [Trojan?]
tadger.
>To the world's largest prick.
I hate nit-pickers, but self-loathing is in, so:
...To the world's biggest prick!
>Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend your [buddy?]
Although I have never heard the euphemism outside MP, I would swear he
says 'pulsey'.
>you can stuff it in your sock.
More self-loathing:
...you can slip it in your sock.
But that one's important!
>Old Women: "Frightfully witty tune . . "
--
Eric the half-a-bee [e...@hayes.fai.alaska.edu]
Do you have a license to be geeking in this area?
And neither shall I. Corrections from memory, so I may be as addled about
it as the original posting...
--
----------------------------------Iain Odlin-----------------------------------
4326 SE Woodstock Blvd, Suite 378, Portland OR, 97206
odlin@reed -or- {ogicse,tektronix}!reed!odlin
This is not a wine for drinking. This is a wine for laying down and avoiding.
From: madi...@CIS.OHIO-STATE.EDU (david m madison)
I remember [most of] this one from The Meaning Of Life. Please excuse any
offense it may cause.
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
.
.
.
But don't take it out in public or they'll throw you in the stocks,
^^^^^^
Is actually "dock" or gaol (jail for you american typa people (thank
you Chevali))
Isn't it awefully nice to have indecent exposure laws.
(second only to _ON THE BOOKS_ laws agains blasphemy)
Dave
--
Arrggh! Stop violating copyrights!
REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
Sorry for the all caps. I'll be quiet once again.
Just another person who makes his living with copyrighted material,
--
/=Randal L. Schwartz, Stonehenge Consulting Services (503)777-0095 ==========\
| on contract to Intel's iWarp project, Beaverton, Oregon, USA, Sol III |
| mer...@iwarp.intel.com ...!any-MX-mailer-like-uunet!iwarp.intel.com!merlyn |
\=Cute Quote: "Welcome to Portland, Oregon, home of the California Raisins!"=/
What sort of a deadshit wanker are you?
>Arrggh! Stop violating copyrights!
Arrggh! Stop being a weenie!
>Just another person who makes his living with copyrighted material,
Yes, stop hampering the Pythons' abilities to scrape out a meager
existence!
From the tinyest little [Trojan?]
Probably "todger". English slang term, unknown derivation.
--
Gregory Bond, Burdett Buckeridge & Young Ltd, Melbourne, Australia
Internet: g...@melba.bby.oz.au non-MX: gnb%melba....@uunet.uu.net
Uucp: {uunet,pyramid,ubc-cs,ukc,mcvax,prlb2,nttlab...}!munnari!melba.bby.oz!gnb
Arrggh! Stop violating copyrights!
REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
{
This is a blatant abuse of the spirit of copyright. Just who the FUCK
do you think is making money out of it? How the FUCK are we losing
them royalties? Oh me oh my, they posted the willy song now now noone
will ever again go and see the MOL and im I'm 3p out of pocket and i
bet someone's going to make it into a book and pretend they wrote it
istead of me and i'll have to sell my collection of vole smegma to pay
the rent those barstard debt collectors are all over me now theres
even one vomiting over the duvet...
Sure, if someone posts the entire script of MP&THG, kick their arses
up the Kaiber, take them to court, staple their knees to their
pancreases, shout NI! in their ear, demand THREE shrubberies (with
rare Himalayan yak-pube heathers), change their name by deed poll to
`fuck-off-and-die', invest them in high risk companies, feed them on a
diet on gnat's testicles and rabbit phlegm, upgrade them to run SUNOS
4.1, introduce them to Doug and Dinsdale, convert them to Islam,
tattoo "White Shit" on their foreheads and send them to Texas, get a
tiger to bugger them, get them to bugger a tiger, show them pictures
of Dan Quayle, lock them in a room with Dan Quayle, hypnotise them
into thinking they're Dan Quayle, hypnotise them into thinking they're
Dan Quayle's wife, turn them into brave brave Sir Robin's bottom
armour, make them do an impression of Stan's baby, make them clean up
after Mr Kreosote, feed them to Mr Kreosote, make *them* eat Mr
Kreosote, and so on, and so on, and so on, but don't DON'T abuse the
spirit of copyright by whining about things people can't POSSIBLY make
money out of (except perhaps the telephone company).
If you think there is a danger of Handmade Films &c. threatening legal
action over a bunch of loonbranes quoting little, tiny, waffer theen
bits of sacred texts over the net, then let us know, otherwise SHUT
THE FUCK UP!!!
}
PS: HMF &c. stand to make MORE money, since this will encourage people
to go out and buy boks, tapes, records and videaus they didn't even
know existed.
PPS:
Allo Mrs Smoker!
Allo Mrs Nonsmoker!
Been shopping?
Nah! Been shopping.
What you got?
Piston Engine.
What you buy that for?
Bargain.
Adya cookit?
You can't cook it!
Well you can't eat it raw!
Never thought of that!
Tell you what, buy it off ya!
Ah much?
Free quid!
Done!
This only exists on video, if at all. At least it's not in any of the
books I've got. And it's not an accurate copy of the conversation
anyway. So there. Now go out and BUY the fucking videos.
PPPS: The entire text between {} is Copyright (C) 1990 Lionell
Membrane-Trousers. Any machines caught duplicating it must pay me
#500 or expect one of the eventualities mentioned within the {} to
happen to them. (This could be better than a ponsy scheme!!!). Come
on, pay up you barsts!!!
>Arrggh! Stop violating copyrights!
>
>REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
>PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
>
>Sorry for the all caps. I'll be quiet once again.
>
>Just another person who makes his living with copyrighted material,
I have this terrible feeling of deja-vu.
Pieter Hazewindus pie...@vlsi.caltech.edu
Can't be certain on the rest. Sorry.
On the subject of songs, anyone got the full pissed up philosophers
song?
i
n
e
w
s
f
o
d
d
e
r
Your name not Bruce?
--
Bruce Munro. <br...@tcom.stc.co.uk> || ...!mcsun!ukc!stc!bruce
STC Telecommunications, Oakleigh Rd South, London N11 1HB.
Phone : +44 1 945 4000 x3799
"There are no strangers, only friends we don't recognise" - Hank Wangford
Perhaps you should see my psychiatrist/dairyman Dr. Cream. He's a specialist
in these sort of matters. My usual is Jersey Cream Psychiatrists.
<ring!> Hello, , yes, fine, thank you, fine.
<ring!> Hello, , yes, fine, thank you, fine.
<ring!> Hello, , yes, fine, thank you, fine.
<ring!> Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
--
---Bruce "OH! What a great slit!" Notlob
REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
-- used without permission
I have this terrible feeling of deja-vu.
--
Paul Falstad PLINK:Hypnos GEnie:P.FALSTAD net:pfal...@phoenix.princeton.edu
Disclaimer: My opinions, which belong to me and which I own, are mine.
-Anne Elk (not AN elk!) The sun never set on the British empire because
the British empire was in the East and the sun sets in the West.
"Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, your percy or your cock,"
Just another strange British slang term for the 'male part'.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Kavanagh, Email : ee8...@ee.surrey.ac.uk | Prejudice?----------No!!!
Dept. of Electrical and Electronic Engineering, | Ignorance?----------No!!!
University of Surrey. | Bigotry?------------No!!!
"We are a nation without geographic boundaries, | Illiteracy?---------No!!!
bound together by our common beliefs." | -------------Knowledge!!!
I have this terrible feeling of deja-vu. That unexplainable feeling you
sometimes get when something you see seems to have happened before.
That unexplainable feeling you sometimes when something you see seems to
have happened before.
PLEASE post them! Or, If you could just post the name of the book, I'm sure
there would be lots of incredibly happy people...
Thanks,
Julie Schlenk
University of Kansas
JULIE@UKANVM
Nice language! However, I'm willing to overlook it if you (or someone)
would post a list of the books and cassette tapes available. I know
there are prob'ly hundreds, but I'd like an idea of which ones are better.
Thanks in advance!
-James
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
jcar...@sun.acs.udel.edu -or- car...@freezer.it.udel.edu
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Eagles may soar, but a weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
Yes, yes! inquiring minds want to know . . . .
At the very least, you e-mail the info to me?
-----Sunita "Oh Bevis, and I thought you were so rugged!" Bhatia
-----ch...@vax1.acs.udel.edu
-----These are my opinions, and you can't have them, SO THERE!
Oh, hell yes, I've got a couple of their tapes, and it's on them. Mind you,
I won't mind typing it in and posting it (although I get this strange feeling
that someone's posted it already) provided I don't get multitudes of flames
about "oh, this word isn't quite right" since I think it's been firmly
established that the Pythons usually didn't memorize their scripts, or even
if they did, they didn't always follow them . . .
Eh, what's that? Copyright problems? Oh, I seeee. "Look sarge, I think I'll
be seeing you quite a lot when all this is over." Oh, sorry, sorry. I didn't
mean to violate copyrights, I really didn't. Well, I don't know how I could
get it to you without having the copyright demons after me, so sorry.
By the way, speaking of the Bruces sketch, and other sketches that do this,
I've noticed that quite a lot of the MPFC sketches pick on (1) Ethnic
minorities (care to count how many times they made fun of the Irish and the
Scottish people?) and (2) homosexuals and homosexuality. I don't know,
maybe picking on Scottsmen was a national pastime in Britain in the 70's,
but I was just thinking, Graham Chapman was openly homosexual, so how and
why did he put up with it for so long? Any answers out there from others who
know more about the late Chapman? Ever wonder if in this AIDS-enlightened age
whether a new group of comedians, similar to MP, say, could get away with
that much bashing of homosexuals as part of their repetoire?
Oh, well, at least BIFF & company hasn't invaded this group yet . . .
-----Sunita "How about a poke in the eye? Kick in the teeth?
Dagger up the strap?" Bhatia
I've loved the Python's since I was about 12. . I'm now around 19. . .
and one thing that I disliked (now people who really like something
are allowed to nit pick it) was some of the cartoon's with showing
naked women etc etc. . .I thought this was in bad taste and kinda
embarrasing when you tried to get a friend to like Python. . .like
And Now For Something Completely Different (the movie) with the
Greek statue and the leaf on his naughty bits. . and the hand trying
to pull off the leaf. . .the British seem to be much more open with
blatant sexuality on TV than we Americans. . however in America
everything is shoot it up blow it up super violence Rambo style. . .
look at American cartoons -- they're great but a lot of them are
violent (like the Road Runner. . meep meep!) The British don't put
up with that sort of stuff. . .plus I don't like when Python picks
on minorities. . .I'm a White Anglo Saxon but I feel there's no
room for bigitry crap in America. . .I am a little offended by that
minority song. . .but like John Cleese said at Graham Chapman's
viewing 'he did love to offend'. . .and I think's its cool how Python
takes the intelligent view of religion. . in all aspects. . .especially
demonstrated in The Life of Brian. . .actually laughing at these
religious fools. . . enough of this gay bantor. . .
Mark
Obviously, you've never heard of Andrew "The Diceman" Clay.
>"Never be rude to an Arab,
> An Israeli, or Saudi, or Jew.
> Never be rude to an Irishman,
> No matter what you do.
> Never poke fun at a Nigger,
> A Spic, or a Wop, or Kraut.
> And never poke fun at at...
Actually, It could be that I'm rather sensitive to the whole issue of racism,
not being in the majority (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Male) or even in the
minority (Blacks and Hispanics and American Indians are the only ethnic groups
that count as minorities, if you check any government office or public docu-
ments).
I also found that the Irish are INCREDIBLELY proud of their heritage, and are
absolutely infuriated if you confuse them with the British peoples. (Case in
point: I was talking to a gentleman who I assumed to be English from his accent
and asked him about England. His answers were a bit stiffly put, and when I
mentioned an English comedian that I thought was very talented, he said to me,
"Such-and-so is an IRISHMAN, thank you!" Gads.)
>>and (2) homosexuals and homosexuality. I don't know,
>
>I don't think that MPFC really picked on either one. I think they just
>made fun of the whole issue, since it's something society thinks is so
>serious. Take the "Prejudice" sketch for example. That was certainly
>criticizing this sort of prejudice, but what happens right afterwards?
>You have Michael Palin dressed up pretending to be a poof. They were
>making fun of both homosexuals and people who don't like
>homosexuals--that is, everybody who takes the issue seriously, it seems
>to me.
>BTW, did you all notice that Chapman was the one who said, "Are you a
>poofter?" in the "Bigles dictates a letter" and "Australian Philosophy
>Department" skits?
Well, I don't remember, so I'll take your word for it. But, well, I've never
heard a black man call another black man a "nigger" or an Italian make fun
of "wops", so I just was wondering why was it that Chapman, a homosexual, made
fun of the characters in the sketches who were homosexuals.
-----Sunita "Lemming, Lemming, Lemming of the BDA" Bhatia
-----ch...@vax1.acs.udel.edu
-----These are my opinions, and you can't have them,
.
.
.
.
.
.
SO THERE!
Joe Discenza
What makes you think he was uncomfortable about being gay?
If he wasn't, why should gay jokes offend him?
(I reckon I'm gonna get flamed for this :-).
Mike.
>Well, I don't remember, so I'll take your word for it. But, well, I've never
>heard a black man call another black man a "nigger" or an Italian make fun
>of "wops", so I just was wondering why was it that Chapman, a homosexual, made
>fun of the characters in the sketches who were homosexuals.
You've got to be kidding. . .never seen Eddie Murphy's Harlem Nights. .
That movie is pure cursing with no humor. . .but they do the above
mentioned I believe. . .I think Arsenio Hall on his show does it too. .
it seems OK for a black to call another one a nigger. . they do it all
they time but I don't understand what their point is. . .
I grew up out side of Washington, D.C. and it is very common for the city
kids to call each other "nigger" or "niggy", but it could mean your life if
you are white and say it. It seems to be derogatory no matter who uses it
though. Homosexuals probably use "fag" or "queer" as derogatory words
directed at other homosexuals in much the same way. I think it has a
significantly greater impact if spoken by someone not of the particular
ethnic, racial, gender group it is associated with.
"You mean you intended to slaughter our tenants?"
"Does that not fit in with your plans?"
-=-
Jon Steinbach
Ohio State Computer Science Ohio Supercomputer Center
stei...@cis.ohio-state.edu jo...@oscsunb.osc.edu
This isn't a flame, just a statement to clarify my position:
(1) I never said Champan or anyone else for that matter is and/or should be
uncomfortable about being homosexual. I have several male homosexual
friends who are not ashamed of their preferences and who are good guys
overall.
(2) I never said that "gay jokes" SHOULD offend Chapman. It's just that based
on my experience, I don't like jokes about Indians and my homosexual
friends get offended by "gay jokes".
Which leads me to believe that Chapman was offended by the jokes, so it doesn't
make sense that he participated in all those skits (sorry, I can't imagine
anyone being such a "good sport" for so long, taking jokes like that from his
friends). Anyone out there that's read "A Liar's Autobiography" to see whta
CHAPMAN has to say on this?
-----Sunita "And you must be the boy who makes the tea." Bhatia
An alternative view is that jokes about one's self and own firmly
held beliefs can indeed be very funny, especially to the cognoscenti.
There are people (I am one) whose sense of humour is such that
they find jokes about their race, nationality, religious beliefs, etc
funny - assuming the jokes are funny at all. Part of this stems from
being able to look on and see the ridiculous side of a belief, say
in religion or nationality.
You are right that it wouldn't have made sense for Chapman to have
performed in (and written many of) the skits if he had been offended
by them - so perhaps we should be lead to believe that he was not
offended or that he found them funny.
Pat Place p...@sei.cmu.edu
Hmm, okay, so I'm not that observant. After reading this article, my husband,
who's Italian, says that his family refered to each other as "wops" as well,
especially when one of them had asked something Italian-related ("Hey, mom,
what are tortellini?" "Oh, go ask your father, he's a wop."). Perhaps it has
ceased to be an insulting term. Sorry for stirring up all the trouble, but
last year around here the University of Delaware's president, Russell Jones,
got fired after he made a statement in front of the Coaliiton for Black Rights
(forgive me if I got the name slightly wrong. you get the idea) that went
something like "I didn't learn to hate blaks when I was young, I learned to
hate Polacks." He had also said something to the effect previously in the
year to students in the programs FAME (Forum to Advance Minorities in
Engineering) and RISE (Resources in Successful Engineering, also geared for
minorities, especially blacks) and called them "Underprivilledged minorities."
Personally, I found that rather offensive since I was in FAME and also do not
put up with even thinly veiled racism. . . .
-----Sunita "Tiger. Inspector Tiger of the Yard." "Tiger?" "Where? Where? Oh,
ME Tiger. You Jane. Grrr" Bhatia ORTALANO
-----ch...@vax1.acs.udel.edu
-----These are my opnions, and you can't have them, SO THERE!
I wouldn't say it was bashing, more not avoiding the issue. I guess
they thought prejudice was a funny subject and also that people
should think about their own and others' prejudices more.
I remember the introduction to the "The BIGOT" newsletter in MP's
Papperbok (SP?) which said something like "Deep down we're all
bigotted, the trouble is it may be so deep down that we forget about
it." I think this has a lot of truth in it.
> ... the late Chapman?
I did not know that Graham Chapman had died. I am very sorry to hear
it. How did he die? (I apologise if this has been discussed before
as we have only just started receiving this newsgroup.)
Andrew.
--
Andrew Phillips (and...@teslab.lab.oz.au) Phone +61 (Aust) 2 (Sydney) 289 8712
Amiga supporter/developer 2's complement, 3's a crowd!
In article <1990May16.1...@iwarp.intel.com>, mer...@iwarp.intel.com (Randal Schwartz) writes:
> In article <900516010...@spruce.cis.ohio-state.edu>, madiso-d@CIS (david m madison) writes:
> | I remember [most of] this one from The Meaning Of Life. Please excuse any
> | offense it may cause.
> |
> [song deleted]
>
> REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
> PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
What sort of a deadshit wanker are you?
What sort of deadass moron are YOU? Don't you care about artists'
rights? Don't you care about the law? What do you care about? Being
able to reproduce someone else's works without their permission to
show how incredibly clever you are? Get a clue.
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeffrey A. Sullivan | Senior Systems Programmer
j...@venera.isi.edu | Information Sciences Institute
j...@isi.edu DELPHI: JSULLIVAN | University of Southern California
jas
>> blah blah etc soandsowrites. . ...
> > REPEAT: DO NOT POST MONTY PYTHON MATERIAL HERE. YOU DO *NOT* HAVE
> > PERMISSION. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF INTERNATIONAL COPYRIGHTS.
>
>
> What sort of a deadshit wanker are you?
>
>
>What sort of deadass moron are YOU? Don't you care about artists'
>rights? Don't you care about the law? What do you care about? Being
>able to reproduce someone else's works without their permission to
>show how incredibly clever you are? Get a clue.
>
>--
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Jeffrey A. Sullivan | Senior Systems Programmer
So tell us exactly what you're doing reading this group? If you're
going to have a cow if someone posts some quotes, then why read?
Hint: the letter "u" may come in handy if you're really as disgusted
as you say you are.
Don Bruey
p.s. I hope that you closed your eyes a few postings back on the
argument sketch. Shame on you if you didn't!!