REQ: Four Yorkshiremen script
Edward Michael Sanger
: Could someone please post the script for the "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch?
: Andrew Moore
: amo...@cleo.murdoch.edu.au
Well, I was bored one day and decided to type this little number up... so
here it is
"Four Yorkshiremen"
#1 - Michael Palin
#2 - Ghram Chapman
#3 - Eric Idle
#4 - Terry Jones
#2: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chastely, 'ey Jusia
#4: 'Ey, you're right there Obidiah
#3: Who'd a thought, thirty year ago, we'd all be sitin' here drinking
Chateau de Chastely.
#1: In them days, we was glad to have the prize of a cup o' tea.
#2: Right, a cup o' cold tea.
#3: Without milk or sugar.
#4: Or tea.
All: Right.
#1: In a cracked cup and all...
#3: Oh, we never had a cup, we used to have to drink out of a rolled up
newspaper.
#2: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
#4: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were pour.
#1: Because we were pour! My old dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't
buy you happiness, son."
#3: Aye, he was right. I was happier then, when I had nothing. We used
to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
#2: House! You guys were lucky to live in a house. We used to live in
one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was
missing, and we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of
falling.
#4: You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in a
corridor.
#1: Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would have been a
palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank in a rubbish tip.
We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all
over us. House, huh!
#3: Well, I wouldn't say a house, it was only a hole in the ground
covered by a sheet of tarpaulin. But it was a house to us.
#2: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live
in a lake.
#4: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us
living in a shoe box in the middle of the road.
#1: Cardboard box?
#4: Aye.
#1: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a
septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the mornin', clean the
paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down at the mill,
fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, f
or six pence a week, and when we got home our dad would thrash us to
sleep with his belt.
#2: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in
the mornin', clean the lake, eat dung full of gravel, work twenty hour
at mill four two pence a month, come home, and dad would thrash us to
sleep with a broken bottle, if we were
lucky!
#4: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of
shoe box at twelve o'clock at night and lick the road clean 'till dawn,
grab two bits of cold gravel, work twenty-four hours at mill for six
pence for seventy-four years, and whe
n we got home, our dad would slash us in two with a bread knife.
#3: Right. I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, a
half-an-hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulfuric acid, work
twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay the manager for permission to
come to work, and we got home, our da
d and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing
Hallelujah!
#1: And you try and tell the young people of today that, and they won't
believe you.
All: They wont!
enjoy!
-- tsa...@primenet.com