Four Yorkshiremen
IainUK
with an URL or other appropriate help (Already been to the psychiatrist!) I
will be very pleased. Sorry, no money, can't pay - Yorkshireman! And you
call that poor...
TIA
IainUK
Ib Rasmussen
Here is the version from The Final Rip-Off.
Sorry if the line breaks are a bit odd, it is copied from an HTML
table.
/Ib
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Michael:
Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Graham:
Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier, eh
Gessiah?
Terry G:
You're right there Obediah.
Eric:
Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here
drinking Chateau de
Chassilier?
Michael:
Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a
cup o' tea.
Graham:
A cup o' COLD tea.
Eric:
Without milk or sugar.
Terry G:
OR tea!
Michael:
In a cracked cup, and all.
Eric:
We never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled
up newspaper.
Graham:
The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp
cloth.
Terry G:
But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were
poor.
Michael:
Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me,
"Money doesn't buy
you happiness."
Eric:
'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used
to live in this tiny old
house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
Graham:
House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one
room, all
twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing
and we were all huddled
together in one corner for fear of FALLING!
Terry G:
You were lucky to have a ROOM! We used to have to live in a
corridor!
Michael:
Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been
a palace to us. We
used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got
woken up every morning by
having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!?
Hmph.
Eric:
Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground
covered by a sheet of
tarpolin, it was a house to US.
Graham:
We were evicted from our hole in the ground; we had to go and
live in a lake!
Terry G:
You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and fifty
of us living in a
shoebox in the middle of the road.
Michael:
Cardboard box?
Terry G:
Aye.
Michael:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a
septic tank. We used
to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag,
eat a crust of stale
bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen hours a day week
in week out, for
sixpence a week. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to
sleep with his
belt!
Graham:
Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock
in the morning, clean
the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour a day
at the mill for tuppence
a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a
broken bottle, if we
were LUCKY!
Terry G:
Well of course, we had it tough. We used to have to get up
out of the shoebox at
twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our
tongues. We had half two
bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the
mill for sixpence every four
years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two
with a bread knife.
Eric:
Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at
night, half an hour before I went
to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours
a day down mill, and
pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we
got home, our Dad and
our Mother would kill us, and dance about on our graves
singing "Hallelujah."
Michael:
And you try and tell the young people today that... and they
won't believe ya'.
All:
They won't..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IainUK
IainUK
Ib Rasmussen wrote in message <36dac930...@news.inet.tele.dk>...
:On Mon, 1 Mar 1999 01:23:41 -0000, "IainUK"
:<Ia...@jenkins99.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
:
:>I am looking for the script for "The four Yorkshiremen". If you can help
:>with an URL or other appropriate help (Already been to the psychiatrist!)
I
:>will be very pleased. Sorry, no money, can't pay - Yorkshireman! And you
:>call that poor...
:
:Here is the version from The Final Rip-Off.
:
:Sorry if the line breaks are a bit odd, it is copied from an HTML
:table.
:
:/Ib
:
:---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
: Michael:
:---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------
John Murray
(Monty Python)
Four middle aged Yorkshiremen on holiday together are sitting in the bar of
a hotel on the Spanish Costa Del Sol. They start reminiscing...
Fred: Aye that was a very feastable bit of risotto just then.
Obidiah: Aye it was that, what a grand view!
Josiah: Wonderful!
Cyril: Very Good!
Obidiah: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chasselet, eh Josiah?
Josiah: Aye you're right there Obidiah.
Cyril: Who'd a' thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' 'ere drinkin'
Chateau de Chasselet eh?
Fred: Aye in them days we was glad to 'ave the price of a cup o tea.
Obidiah: A cup of cold tea.
Cyril: Without milk or sugar.
Josiah: Or tea!
Fred: In a cracked cup an' all.
Cyril: Oh we never 'ad a cup, we used to 'ave to drink out of a rolled up
newspaper.
Obidiah: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
Josiah: But you know we were 'appy in those days though we were poor.
Fred: Because we were poor! My old Dad used to say “money doesn't buy you
'appiness son”
Cyril: Aye, and 'e was right. I was 'appier then when I 'ad nothin', we
used to live in this tiny old 'ouse with geat big 'oles in the roof.
Obidiah: ouse! You were lucky to live in 'ouse, we used to live in one
room, all twenty six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing and we
were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of fallin.
Josiah: You were lucky to 'ave a room, we used to 'ave to live in corridor.
Fred: Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor, would ave been a palace
to us! We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke
up every mornin' by 'aving a load of rottin' fish dumped all o'er us.
House! Huh!
Cyril: Well when I say house, it was only a hole in the ground covered by a
sheet of tarpaulin, it was a house to us!
Obidiah: We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground. We 'ad to go and live
in a lake.
Josiah: You were lucky to 'ave a lake! There were hundred and fifty of us
livin' in shoebox in middle o' road.
Fred: Cardboard box?
Josiah: Aye.
Fred: You were lucky! We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic
tank. We used to 'ave to get up at six in the mornin', clean the paper bag,
eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill, fourteen hours a day, week
in, week out, for sixpence a week and when we got home, our Dad would thrash
us to sleep wi' 'is belt!
Obidiah: Luxury! We used to 'ave to get out of the lake at six o'clock in
the morning, clean the lake, eat 'andful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day
at mill for tuppence a month, come 'ome and Dad would thrash us to sleep
with a broken bottle if we were lucky!
Josiah: Well of course we ad it tough! We used to 'ave to get up out of
shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wi' tongue. We 'ad
two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty four hours a day at mill for sixpence
every four years and when we got 'ome our Dad would slice us in two bread
knife!
Cyril: Right! I 'ad to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, 'alf
an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty
nine hours a day down mill and pay mill owner for permission to come to work
and when we got home our Dad and our Mother would kill us and dance about on
our graves singing Alleluia!
Fred: Aye, and you try and tell the young people of today that, and they
won't believe you.
All: Aye, they won't.
IainUK wrote in message <7bcq7b$u0u$1...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>I am looking for the script for "The four Yorkshiremen". If you can help
>with an URL or other appropriate help (Already been to the psychiatrist!) I
>will be very pleased. Sorry, no money, can't pay - Yorkshireman! And you
>call that poor...
>
>TIA
>IainUK
>
>
>
Bill Kinkaid
>:
>:Here is the version from The Final Rip-Off.
>:
>:Sorry if the line breaks are a bit odd, it is copied from an HTML
>:table.
>:
>: Graham:
>: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier, eh
>:Gessiah?
Josiah, actually
>: Terry G:
It was Terry J.
Bill in Vancouver
(delete EAT-SPAM-AND-DIE
from e-mail address to respond)