3/17/93 Top Ten List
Kathleen Treole
Would anyone happen to remember the Top Ten list from Wednesday 3/17?
It was about The Top 10 Irish phrases for having sex...
#1 was O'Humping...but I'm can't remember the rest.
Email would be fine...
Thanks a bunch!
Kathy Treole ktr...@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu
The Ohio State University
ya-hoo!!
Boy Wonder
>
>Would anyone happen to remember the Top Ten list from Wednesday 3/17?
>
howz about the "Rejected Children's Books" that aired quite a while
ago.
One of them was "Curious George and the Electric Fence."
I quite like that one. :-)
-Jason
Stephen Wayne Miller
>Since everyone is trying to remember their all-time favorite top 10,
One that particularly cracked me up is the last one in the first book:
"Top Ten Rejected Jeopardy Categories". Several stand out in my mind:
"Moist Things"
"Things Found In Wadded-up Napkins"
"Things You Want To Pound And Pound With A Shovel"
--
__ | ata...@cats.ucsc.edu | "Oh no! Toonces, look out! AIIIEEEE!" --SNL
(_ | Delphi: ATARIO | "This is only an exhibition. This is not a
__)teve | "Happy happy! | competition. So please . . . no wagering."
| Joy joy!" --R & S | --Late Night with David Letterman
Steamed Rhubarb Fondue
> In <1od6v6...@charnel.ecst.csuchico.edu> bub...@ecst.csuchico.edu (Boy Wonder) writes:
>
>>Since everyone is trying to remember their all-time favorite top 10,
>
> One that particularly cracked me up is the last one in the first book:
> "Top Ten Rejected Jeopardy Categories". Several stand out in my mind:
>
> "Moist Things"
> "Things Found In Wadded-up Napkins"
> "Things You Want To Pound And Pound With A Shovel"
>
I also love the ones with Batman in them (being the HUGE Batman fan that I
am)... "Screw the Final Frontier! Let's go see Batman!"
But last night when Bud came out in the mouse costume, I started thinking about
when Michael Keaton was on for Batman Returns and they kept playing the audio
of Larry saying "Is Batman here yet? I want to see Batman!" (I believe it was
repeated last week)... and then Larry actually SAID "Is Batman here yet?" (or
something like that) last night... heehee.. :)
"When people call him The Batman. It's just BATMAN, dammit!"
--=={{********************************************************************}}==--
Steamed Rhubarb Fondue | "For best results, remove cap."
Jason Alan Pfaff |
jap...@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu | -Instructions on a can of Easy Cheese
--=={{********************************************************************}}==--
Thor Iverson
>Since everyone is trying to remember their all-time favorite top 10,
>howz about the "Rejected Children's Books" that aired quite a while
>ago.
(from a few weeks ago)
Here are the two lists combined, as they were posted in r.h a while back:
Top 20 Children's Books Not Recommended by the National Library Association
20) Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep
19) Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from Your Nose
18) The Hardy Boys, the Bobsey Twins, and the Vice Squad
17) The Tickling Babysitter
16) A Pictoral History of Circus Geek Suicides
15) Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
14) Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
13) Babar Becomes a Piano
12) Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
11) David Duke's World of Imagination
10) Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9) The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
8) Legends of Scab Football
7) Teddy: the Elf with a Detached Retina
6) Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer
5) Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can't Remember the
Endings to All of Them
4) Ed Beckley's Start a Real-Estate Empire with Change from Mom's Purse
3) Things Rich Kids Have but You Never Will
2) Let's Draw Betty and Veronica with Their Clothes Off
1) The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
:::::::::: :: :: :::::Alself me to myduce introlow
:Scott/::: ::::::< ::::: . :::::::::kml%cel...@tredysvr.tredydev.unisys.com
::Tiger:::::::::: :: ::: ::::::::k...@cellar.org Damn the electric fence!
Garbonzo Lewis
One of my favorite top tens was Top Ten Rejected Arnold Schwarzenegger
Movie Lines. They had Arnold read them (even though he wasn't a guest that
day). I think it was one of the funniest top tens I"ve seen. Some of the
list was.
-who else likes showtunes
-time to make the donuts...you bastard
-ouch a paper cut
-do you have the ouchless bandaids
-my what a lovely lace doiley
If anyone knows the whole list, please post it or e-mail me. It's better
when Arnold reads it, but I still think its funny.
One of the funniest things I've ever seen was Larry trapped in a copy
machine, hanging on a meat hook, in an American Gladiator's outfit, blowing
up in a truck, basically anything with Larry in it.
Garbonzo
KERRIGAN JOHN M
>
> One of my favorite top tens was Top Ten Rejected Arnold Schwarzenegger
>Movie Lines. They had Arnold read them (even though he wasn't a guest that
>day). I think it was one of the funniest top tens I"ve seen. Some of the
>list was.
>-who else likes showtunes
>-time to make the donuts...you bastard
>-ouch a paper cut
>-do you have the ouchless bandaids
>-my what a lovely lace doiley
>
Oh No!!!
You've forgotten the best line from this whole Top Ten List. In fact,
this line would make my Top Ten - Top Ten Lines.
Ready, here it is:
- Help me Letterman, Help me!!!
HA HA HA HA
That one cracks me up every time!
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
** John Kerrigan a.k.a. jmke...@vela.acs.oakland.edu **
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stephen Amadei <<<Lord Chaos>>>
>
> One of my favorite top tens was Top Ten Rejected Arnold Schwarzenegger
>Movie Lines. They had Arnold read them (even though he wasn't a guest that
>day). I think it was one of the funniest top tens I"ve seen. Some of the
>list was.
>-who else likes showtunes
>-time to make the donuts...you bastard
>-ouch a paper cut
>-do you have the ouchless bandaids
>-my what a lovely lace doiley
>
the whole thing but I do remember these two:
-Mmmmm...I love fudge!
-Help me, Letterman, Help me!
I guess I like that episode the best, because it was the show I went to go
see..
----Chaos
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Scott Tiger
> If anyone knows the whole list, please post it or e-mail me. It's bette
From David Letterman:
(read by Arnie himself...)
Arnold Schwarzenegger's Top ten rejected Movie Lines
----------------------------------------------------
10. My what a lovely lace doily!
9. Oww! A papercut!
8. Man-oh-man do I love fudge!
7. When I think about you, I touch myself.
6. Do you have any of those "ouch-less" Band-Aids?
5. Can you please open this jar of olives for me?
4. Time to make the doughnuts, you bastard!
3. Can you just let me keep my credit cards?
2. Help me, Letterman, help me!
1. Who else loves show tunes?
edward s. chen
>In article <C4Cz2...@acsu.buffalo.edu>, v101...@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Garbonzo Lewis) writes...
>>
>> One of my favorite top tens was Top Ten Rejected Arnold Schwarzenegger
>>Movie Lines. They had Arnold read them (even though he wasn't a guest that
>>day). I think it was one of the funniest top tens I"ve seen. Some of the
>>list was.
From Letterman -- Arnold Schwarzenegger's top 10 list of rejected lines
10. My what a lovely lace doily.
9. Ow! a papercut.
8. Man-oh-man, I love fudge.
7. When I think about you, I touch myself.
6. Do you have any of those ouch-less bandaids?
5. Can you please open this jar of olives for me?
4. Time to make the donuts, you bastards.
3. Can you just let me keep the credit cards.
2. Help me Letterman, Help me !
1. Who else loves show tunes?
<ESC>
--
The reason for the Beatles' popularity may be that it's
impossible to hear them.
Edwin Newman, 1964.
Michael Teller
>In article <1993Mar23....@Shiva.COM>, ma...@Shiva.COM (Marty Del
>Vecchio) says:
>
>In article <C4Cz2...@acsu.buffalo.edu> v101...@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu
>(Garbonzo Lewis) writes:
>>
>>Movie Lines. They had Arnold read them (even though he wasn't a guest that
>>day). I think it was one of the funniest top tens I"ve seen. Some of the
>>list was.
>>-time to make the donuts...you bastard
>>-ouch a paper cut
>>-do you have the ouchless bandaids
>>-my what a lovely lace doiley
>>
>>when Arnold reads it, but I still think its funny.
>>
>
>"Help me Letterman, help me!"
>
>
The only other one I can remember (I was actually discussing this earlier
today) was:
When I think of you, I touch myself.
-Teller
>
>--
>================================
>Marty Del Vecchio
>Software Engineer
>Shiva Corporation
Aaron L Dickey
1) Top Ten Rejected car names: "Pontiac Cyst, Dodge Johnson, Mazda Eczema
500," etc.
2) Any Top Ten list that mentions Gabe Pressman. (I've noted two thus far.)
--Aaron
Jeff Davis
10. He's wearing a paper trainee hat.
...
7. Tells you, "I can't help this man. He's dead"
....
3. He tells bereaved, "I'm pretty sure your uncle's in
hell by now."
2. Two days after the funera you see the decesed alive
again doing yardwork for the funeral director.
--
Jeff Davis <da...@keats.ca.uky.edu> There is nothing so important
as the legs in determining the kangaroolity of a woman. Is there,
for example, fur on your wife's legs, Sir?
PRESNER, JEREMY D.
(dumb guy voice): "Duh.... who's Gabe Pressman?"
>
>--Aaron
>
>
____________
--DJ Tagline--
------------
Aaron L Dickey
>In article <C4Fn0...@world.std.com>, kie...@world.std.com (Aaron L Dickey) writes...
>>2) Any Top Ten list that mentions Gabe Pressman. (I've noted two thus far.)
>(dumb guy voice): "Duh.... who's Gabe Pressman?"
Gabe Pressman is the :ahem: "Dean" of the local New York press corps,
which basically means he's the oldest guy still working in local tv. He
works for Channel 4, and is thus eligible for Dave attacks. The first
mention of Gabe in a Top Ten list escapes me at the moment (though it is
in one of the two TT books), but I do remember the other:
Top Ten Reasons Mario Cuomo Decided Not To Run for President:
#?: Couldn't stomach the thought of Gabe Pressman as Dean of the White
House Press Corps.
(It's one of those situations where you don't get the joke if you aren't a
New Yorker. Gabe and Mario are both just so...annoying in their own
special way that when you put the two of them together, the effect is just
mesmerizing.)
--Aaron
a01calam@skyfox
>Arnold Schwarzenegger's Top ten rejected Movie Lines
>----------------------------------------------------
>10. My what a lovely lace doily!
>9. Oww! A papercut!
>8. Man-oh-man do I love fudge!
>7. When I think about you, I touch myself.
>6. Do you have any of those "ouch-less" Band-Aids?
>5. Can you please open this jar of olives for me?
>4. Time to make the doughnuts, you bastard!
>3. Can you just let me keep my credit cards?
>2. Help me, Letterman, help me!
>1. Who else loves show tunes
I know that this list is correct according to the second top-ten list
book but it was a bit different when it was read on the show.
Number 3 was originally "When I think about you, I touch myself". A few
of this lists had been changed for the book. The only ones I can remember
off hand are :
- "Aaiieee, killer bees!" was left out of "Top 10 Things Overheard
in the Line For Kickboxer 2"
- in the list "Top 10 Little Known Facts About Madonna", "Opening
act for the Blonde Ambition Tour - Buddy Hacket" replaced
"Opening act... - Carol Gold" (woman from the "Ontario World of
Science" :-) (She was a guest that night))
Does anybody know of any other changes?
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