Twas my night at the Late Show and all through the Ed
Pages clapped in the aisles. They weren't right in the head.
The cameras were hung by the desk and each chair,
In hopes that Dave Letterman soon would be there.
The audience was nestled all snug in their seats,
While visions of Letterman made their hearts skip two beats.
With Alan in a kerchief and Rupert in his cap,
I knew we weren't in for a one hour nap.
When out in the back there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the lobby I flew like a flash
Tore open the theater doors for a Super Bowl bash.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear?
Dave and Oprah with Leno trying to save his career!
This was not even Wikileaked! I needed a pinch!
I guess Conan declined to appear with the Grinch.
Eddie, the warm-up guy, was ready to go,
I knew in a moment, they'd start the Big Show.
And then, one by one, out the band came,
So he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Sid, Now Felicia,
Now, Anton, Al, Will.
On Bones, On Bruce,
And at the top of the bill...
To the top of the bandstand,
With no red nose at all
Now clap away! Clap away!
Here comes Paul!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard near the stage,
The prancing and pawing of each CBS page.
As I drew in my breath and was turning around,
Downstage DAVID LETTERMAN came with a bound.
He was dressed by Sue Hum, from his head to his foot,
His peninsula hairpiece- a light shade of soot.
With a bundle of jokes thanks to Inky's hard labors,
And I thought- Wake the kids! Phone up the neighbors!
His eyes- how they twinkled! What a gap-toothed grin!
He did a squeaky impression of the guy with the chin.
Cue up Mike Singletary, I'm not sure what he said.
He's as strange as that thing on Donald Trump's head.
Then I heard a ringing, a Jeff Altman phone call
And the mood in the theater was cast with a pall.
Out came Joe Grossman with a bizarre interjection,
Who is weirder than him? Always. the horn section.
Joaquin Phoenix strolled out, a right freaky old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
A difficult interview for my TV Boy hero,
I guess it could be worse. It could be De Niro.
Then with a toss of a pencil, and a shake of his fist,
Dave proceeded to read us his top ten list.
He finished his list and went straight to his work,
Interviewing celebrities who may think he's a jerk.
Then laying his pencil aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, the show came to a close.
He sprang to his feet, to his staff gave a whistle,
And off flew his jacket like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim as he strolled out of sight
"Thanks for being here, come again, and to all a goodnight!"
-Marilyn Sargent
What I enjoy most about this holiday tradition are the updated verses.
Far more entertaining than the Madonna curses.
Fantastic, Marilyn; you're nothing but class.
From the same woman who farts rainbows out of her ass.
Bravo, Marilyn. I was glued to the text of your story, just as any of
your young charges would be. Thank you, Mommy, for the nice story
about Dave and his pals this Christmas. It outta be set to music! It
was full of suspense, and was most satisfying. ;) Record it and make a
fortune. Just one minor thing...he doesn't have that gap anymore. It
be fixed a while back. (I told you it was a minor point.) I miss the
gap.
Sally
Marilyn is a genius and her posts continues to be "must read" on AFL.
I'm not theologian but I'm pretty sure she's doing the Lord's work. God
bless you Marilyn!
Hugs,
Rod
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
A difficult interview for my TV Boy hero,
I guess it could be worse. It could be De Niro. <-----brilliant!!!!!
Another fantastic TTNBC, Marilyn!!
That is just givling brilliant!!
-ronnie
AFL Dave's Mom's Virtual Pie Virtual-Pie-Guessing Champion 2010
..geez...I meant TMNATLS.
She is the ultimate maternal figure around here. I can't figure out
TMNATLS, tho.
Sally
Look up.
I'm an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church, and I'd agree.
~Father Pete
I love these poems. This makes 12 in my collection now.
Thanks, Marilyn, for this wonderful tradition. The DeNiro cameo
mention was awesome.
David D
DDY's Late Show Fan Page
http://www.ddy.com/dl3.html
When Donz said to "look up," at first I thought he meant G-d.
Then, I got it. ;D
Sally
--James
Among the other poems by Henry Livingston, Jr., here's a
bit of vegetative porn you can recite to the Dave Tree in your
yard to stimulate its growth:
http://www.iment.com/maida/familytree/henry/writing/poetry/vine.htm
Nice, very well done......and I'm not talking about my meat.
Funny, but I was thinking these thoughts just yesterday...thanks for
posting this.
Sally