Fri. 1/16 Big Show Synopsis
Brady
Here's how I saw last night's show ...
Monologue ... Highlights: "How are ya? Nice to see ya. Thank you so much. I am
so glad you people are in a good mood. It's freezing. It's lousy, freezing cold
outside. Am I right? Isn't it just ... <<applause>> Man, and it's been like
this now for a couple of days. It's been five degrees, four degrees, three
degrees. And ... it was so cold today ... [On] my lunch hour, I'm walkin'
through Central Park, just to see how cold it was. And I 'round the corner
there, and sittin' by the bench, I see a squirrel. And it's so cold ... this
squirrel is actually blowing on his nuts."
"And then I'm down in Times Square. And I see a tourist ... using his credit
card to chip ice off a hooker."
Desk Chat & Miscellany ... Because it's Friday night, Dave wanders into the
audience for another round of America's fastest-growing party sensation --
Audience Show and Tell.
Participant # 1: Gina, a student from Sherman, Texas. Where exactly is Sherman,
TX? 60 miles north of Dallas. What does she study? Biology. What will she do
once she's done with school? Probably just 'sit home.' What's life like in
Sherman? What's the terrain like? 'There's a Wendy's.' What's she doing in
town? She's here working on a research project for school. This is her second
trip to New York City. Gina's thing: she shows us photos of her dog Preacher in
various costumes. Preacher is a Chinese Crested (hairless). Dave thinks that
the 'crested hairless' is actually a type of bird. The pictures weren't exactly
compelling. But at least the contestant had a good attitude.
Participant # 2: Adam, a concert promoter and documentary producer from
Hoboken, NJ. He's originally from Austin, TX. Is Austin near Sherman? It's
pretty far away, actually -- about four hours. Does he have pictures of his dog
in costumes? No. What kind of music does he promote? Independent artists
looking for a label. (Or as I refer to them -- 'indies.') Dave points out that
Adam sounds a little like Wolfman Jack. Adam says that he is in fact an
aspiring voice-over talent; it's his 'regular' voice. His thing: he shows us
the game-winning home run ball he caught at a Yankees game. It's still in the
beer cup in which he caught it. He brought a clip.
Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC. Where is Gastonia? About
20 miles west of Charlotte. They have some of the best barbecue in the South.
He goes to Erskine College. Dave finds that hard to believe. Mackie is studying
philosophy and music. When he gets out, he may 'get a position' as a director.
He also likes to write. He likes to write fiction and he enjoys philosophy
books. Dave wonders about his favorite philosopher. Mackie says that it would
have to be Thomas Aquinas. What about Aquinas does he like? He 'enjoys his
philosophy.' Mackie's thing: he demonstrates his ability to play the 'Blue
Danube' waltz with 'ear pops.' Dave doesn't know what that is. Is it a
confection, or candy? Mackie's actually referring to a 'percussive thing.' That
is, he's going to pop his ears. It's a party favorite. How did Mackie discover
this talent? He was standing in his aunt's kitchen -- she was doing it herself
and asked him if he could do it. He tried it and, lo and behold, he could. I
must say: that was pretty damn impressive. I liked this guy. He reminded me of
Bill Lehecka before Bill got in the top physical condition of his life and got
a girlfriend.
After the break, Dave holds up a copy of Christina Aguilera's newest CD.
Looking at the photo on the cover, he says that he's noticed that a lot of
young people nowadays are wearing their pants really low; says that he doesn't
think that *his* pants would stay on if he wore them that low. Paul says that
it's a matter of aerodynamics -- a theorem, if you will.
Next, an announcement: Audio Engineer Tommy Young and wife Debbie had a baby
girl. Elena, their first child, was 6 lbs., 12 oz.
Late Show Unfair Edit (Bush: "This administration has over one hundred
problems. That is a fact.")
Will it Float? ... Before we begin, Dave promotes the WIF home game. Also, he
wants to say one thing: it's been brought to his attention that he's the only
one who enjoys WIF. And to those people he says: mind your own business. It's
really the only fun he has. He loves guessing whether things will float. He's
always been that way. It's exciting. Paul enjoys the game. Alan enjoys the
game. But Dave says that everyone on the staff hates it. They used to get
letters from educators and clergymen. Paul says that 'used to' may be the key
phrase. But Dave still finds it fascinating. He reminds everyone that it's
based on the BBC's "Is it Buoyant?" -- we stole it from them. Still, everyone
on the staff hates it. Anyway, "we're gonna continue to play it until I drop
dead."
Getting back to the game ... The item: a 10-pound box of Milkbone brand dog
biscuits. The prize: a trip to Acapulco. Dave and Paul both agree that it will
float. The verdict? It floats. I *did* play at home and won.
Afterwards, Dave wonders how anyone could not love that. He wonders if anybody
approached Archimedes and said, 'We're tired of that displacement theory. Screw
you. Get out of the tub.'
Ole TTL: Questions Received By The Toro Snow Blower Hotline
After the break, Dave reads a piece of WIT fan mail. He reads a couple more
later in the show.
Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than I
had anticipated. She certainly didn't seem to want to continue talking about
the piercings, but she eventually seemed to get 'into' the conversation. I
really got a laugh out of Dave saying that the kid who was scared by her
piercings was gay. That just came out of left field. Also, you must admit: she
can sing. Really, that was impressive vocal work, don't you think? Contrast
that performance with Britney Spears' pathetic lip-synching act. Bottom Line: I
give this segment a surprising thumbs up.
After the break, Dave says that he's going to remove all of *his* piercings
this weekend.
Gary Mule Deer ... Ah, a little 'Lyle Lovett-Julia Roberts marriage/temperature
in the Theater/Bob Dole is old' humor. So topical. Still, I enjoyed his set on
a certain level. And a couple of his lines really made me chuckle.
Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira
Christina Aguilera performs ... Again, you must admit: she does have good vocal
power.
And that's how I saw last night's show.
So what else is happening? For the record: I do not have any piercings in
'special' areas.
You people are experts in human interaction, right? (Just play along.) Here's
one for ya -- it's something that we've discussed before, I think ... Over the
years, many people have told me that supermarkets are a good place to meet
women. Now, I have never believed that. Seriously, how lame would it be for a
guy to approach a woman in a supermarket and start inquiring about the ripeness
of mangos?
The reason I bring this up: tonight on my way home from the office, I stopped
by a supermarket to stock up on soda and low-carb candy bars. As I was walking
toward an open register, a very attractive woman approaching the same register
turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead of me? It looks like you're in
a hurry."
Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo?
I declined her offer; advised her to go ahead of me. As she was paying for her
items, I felt uncharacteristically bold. (That's been my theme this week.) I
looked at her and said, "So did I *look* like I was in a hurry?!" She smiled
and said that yes, yes I *did* look like I was in a hurry. She said that she
thought I was going to pass her on the way to the register. I just chuckled.
So the question is: does that count as 'meeting someone in the supermarket?'
And would it have been uncouth of me to continue chatting with her? This is why
I always thought that the advice about 'meeting women at the supermarket' was
lousy. Sure, you can *meet* women there, but how the hell are you supposed to
breach that next step and, say, actually exchange contact info? It's
impossible, I tell you!
Anyway, I just remembered (and I think I've mentioned this before): the whole
'meeting women at the supermarket' thing can be traced to a single episode of
"Happy Days" in which the Fonz attempts to show Richie how to 'pick up chicks'
with the aide of a grocery cart. It's all a big urban myth. Yep -- an urban
myth. What do you think?
Wow, it's really late. I gotta 'hit the sheets,' people.
Later ...
Brady
FOXYSCRIBE
I would say, "yes."
FOXYSCRIBE
Brady's Questions":
r>And would it have been uncouth of me to continue chatting with her?
I would say, "No." Chatting is perfectly couth. Grabbing her ass whilst
chatting would be an example of "uncouth."
Brady, I believe Tom Cronin might smack you, sweetie. Be prepared to duck.
bostonbill41
>Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo?<
I would say yes. I had something similar happen to me when I took the
train into the city last week. The cute female conducter ( a dead ringer
for Helen Hunt) asked me how I was doing when she collected my ticket.
Some might say she was just doing her job, but I know it was something
special.
Bill
Tom Cronin
<< Desk Chat & Miscellany ... Because it's Friday night, Dave wanders into the
audience for another round of America's fastest-growing party sensation --
Audience Show and Tell. >>
So what was the deal with these people? How did Blondie and Wolfman Jack know
to bring props?
<< The pictures weren't exactly compelling. But at least the contestant had a
good attitude. >>
There's a special place in hell reserved for people who dress their pets in
little outfits.
<< He reminded me of Bill Lehecka before Bill got in the top physical
condition of his life and got a girlfriend. >>
Interesting: he reminded me of you.
<< The verdict? It floats. I *did* play at home and won. >>
First time I've won in several weeks. The game is deceptively difficult.
<< Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than
I had anticipated. >>
I don't remember a thing she said: all I could concentrate on was that hideous
eye makeup and those creepy fake brows. She looked like an alien.
I guess I do remember one thing: she talked about piercing her Hoo-Hah, didn't
she?
<< Gary Mule Deer >>
I was waiting for a story about waiting in line for gas because of the Arab oil
embargo, or maybe a nice Watergate joke.
<< Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira >>
If it weren't for Donz's new home game edition of this, I'd be begging them to
kill the Cape Thing.
<< Christina Aguilera performs ... Again, you must admit: she does have good
vocal power. >>
Couldn't undertand one word she said, though.
<< Over the years, many people have told me that supermarkets are a good place
to meet women. >>
The people who have told you this hate you. They're laughing at you behind your
back.
<< As I was walking toward an open register, a very attractive woman
approaching the same register
turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead of me? It looks like you're in
a hurry." >>
I've had girls say this to me...
... but not in a grocery store, pal!
Bada-Bing!
<< Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo? >>
It should be interpreted as one nice person doing a nice thing for another nice
person. Someday, when a girl finally flirts with you, you'll KNOW she's
flirting: you won't have to ask.
<< So the question is: does that count as 'meeting someone in the supermarket?'
>>
Oh, dear Lord... I give up. I'm not gonna take the bait any more.
Tom
"This is the high point of my day... it's all downhill from here."
--- Lester Burnham, "American Beauty," 1999
Sharon Page
"Brady" <water...@aol.comnospam> wrote
> Next, an announcement: Audio Engineer Tommy Young and wife Debbie had a baby
> girl. Elena, their first child, was 6 lbs., 12 oz.
Tommy Yang.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?N25B31817
Tom posted here back in his double shots days.
PANTSTag to some.
He maintained a website with some really nice
backstage photos. The site appears to have
been lost in his craze for cars. :-)
SLP
******
Pat Fleet
> Tommy Yang.
Ah-hah! Thanks, Sharon. Now I remember that guy. He always cornered the LS
guests and took headshots of them with him, using the old
hold-the-camera-at-arm's-length-and-shoot-at-self photography technique.
Congrats to Tommy & family. :)
Pat Fleet
> So what was the deal with these people? How did Blondie and Wolfman Jack know
> to bring props?
A good tip for future LS/DaveCon trips -- take a little something in your
bag for Show & Tell.
> << The verdict? It floats. I *did* play at home and won. >>
> First time I've won in several weeks. The game is deceptively difficult.
I *love* WIF. The letters of support Dave read throughout the show were
great.
> << Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than
> I had anticipated. >>
>
> I don't remember a thing she said: all I could concentrate on was that hideous
> eye makeup and those creepy fake brows. She looked like an alien.
She still looks like a tramp, but the new improved 2004 version of a tramp.
> I guess I do remember one thing: she talked about piercing her Hoo-Hah, didn't
> she?
See that, right there? Just how do you know the way to phonetically spell
that out for us?
> << Gary Mule Deer >>
It went better than even HE expected. He looked almost youthful...do you
think he's had some work done?
> << Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira >>
>
> If it weren't for Donz's new home game edition of this, I'd be begging them to
> kill the Cape Thing.
Agreed. I still feel sorry for most viewers who don't have the benefit of
afl & Donzie's clues. BTW, I'm calling it the Shawl Thing from now on. Keep
WIF, and cut back on the Shawl Thing to perhaps 1 x month.
> << Christina Aguilera performs ... Again, you must admit: she does have good
> vocal power. >>
>
> Couldn't undertand one word she said, though.
Thank God it just wasn't me. It sounded like she had marbles in her mouth.
Did she open her eyes once? Maybe next time she can add to the make-up and
pencil-in eyeballs on her closed eyelids to complete the Halloween look.
> << So the question is: does that count as 'meeting someone in the
> supermarket?'
>
> Oh, dear Lord... I give up.
We can't give up on our sweet Brady. Someday he'll make some lucky woman
very happy. (I do wish it'd hurry up and happen for the guy.)
Brad Hill
> Monologue ... Highlights:
Fun, as usual.
> Participant # 1: Gina, a student from Sherman, Texas.
She wanted so much to be vivacious and clever, and got a little tongue-tied.
> Participant # 2: Adam, a concert promoter and documentary producer from
> Hoboken, NJ.
Very nice show-and-tell item.
> Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC.
More like a stupid human trick than show and tell. Or even Is This Anything.
Best part: Dave yelling into his ear as if Adam had damaged his ears.
> Late Show Unfair Edit (Bush: "This administration has over one hundred
> problems. That is a fact.")
I look forward to these, and prefer the fast, tricky edits. This one was
so-so, but topped off nicely with Bush's earnest "That is a fact."
> Will it Float? ...
Interesting to hear about the mutinous feeling surrounding Will It Float
among the staff. This WIF was easy--I played and won.
> Ole TTL: Questions Received By The Toro Snow Blower Hotline
Number 6 (Lewinsky) was obviously the best. Two other items should never
have been included. Dave brushed past them, but the audience was
stone-silent.
> Christina Aguilera ...
My God, she looked like a mutant in an X-Men movie.
> As I was walking
> toward an open register, a very attractive woman approaching the same
register
> turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead of me? It looks like
you're in
> a hurry."
>
> Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo?
How timid does a person have to be to ask others how to interpret something?
You have the universe's permission to interpret things any way you want.
Meaning IS interpretation. Make *her* realize it was a flirtatious salvo.
> I declined her offer; advised her to go ahead of me. As she was paying for
her
> items, I felt uncharacteristically bold. (That's been my theme this week.)
I
> looked at her and said, "So did I *look* like I was in a hurry?!" She
smiled
> and said that yes, yes I *did* look like I was in a hurry. She said that
she
> thought I was going to pass her on the way to the register. I just
chuckled.
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. Hahaha! Heh heh heh heh. Oh, my!
Hahahahahahahahahaha. Good story. See how boldness pays off? I would tone it
down next time, though--you don't want to scandalize the store.
> So the question is: does that count as 'meeting someone in the
supermarket?'
> And would it have been uncouth of me to continue chatting with her?
Uncouth?! Brady, this is life. This is people. You live on a piece of rock
swirling through the impersonal vastness of the universe. We are all
intimately in the same boat. That woman is your lover, your sister, your
mother, your child. There is no such thing as uncouth. Talk to her! She
wants exactly what you want! Be whom she longs for!
> This is why
> I always thought that the advice about 'meeting women at the supermarket'
was
> lousy. Sure, you can *meet* women there, but how the hell are you supposed
to
> breach that next step and, say, actually exchange contact info? It's
> impossible, I tell you!
It is not impossible. It is inevitable. Rise to it (so to speak).
(Unless, as my cynical brother implies, you're baiting us. Then, never
mind.)
Brad
www.bradhill.com
www.DigitalSongstream.com
Brad Hill
> A good tip for future LS/DaveCon trips -- take a little something in your
> bag for Show & Tell.
That's inconceivable. They must arrange it on the phone, when distributing
tickets.
Brad
www.bradhill.com
www.DigitalSongstream.com
Katycren
>This 'Synopsis' is dedicated to Kath Creel. Oh, you *know* she's got the
>flava.
Kath deserves more than a dedication. Someone needs to send her a month's worth
of tapes.
>Monologue ... Highlights: "How are ya? Nice to see ya. Thank you so much. I
>am
>so glad you people are in a good mood. It's freezing. It's lousy, freezing
>cold
>outside.
I ignore all the "it's so cold..." jokes and huddle in my flannel robe, basking
in the warmth of the teevee. I'd rather not think about freezing temperatures.
>Audience Show and Tell.
>
>Participant # 1: Gina, a student from Sherman, Texas.
Very attractive blonde, but astonishingly inarticulate.
>She's here working on a research project for school.
What sort of research project brings a student from Sherman, Texas to NYC? I'm
skeptical and wish she had given us more details.
>Gina's thing: she shows us photos of her dog Preacher in
>various costumes.
I don't think animals in costumes are cute. She should buy a doll.
>Participant # 2: Adam, a concert promoter and documentary producer from
>Hoboken, NJ.
>
Dunno why, but he didn't appeal to me at all. Maybe it was the Wolfman Jack
voice.
>Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC. Where is Gastonia?
>About
>20 miles west of Charlotte. They have some of the best barbecue in the South.
I've driven past the signs for Gastonia many times when going to Charlotte.
Next time I'll go on into Gastonia to try the barbecue. (hmmm.... ribs!)
>Mackie's thing: he demonstrates his ability to play the 'Blue
>Danube' waltz with 'ear pops.'
I was wondering the same thing as MikeMack:
From the Wahoo:
"I was impressed but what would happen next I found most interesting. Would
Dave agree to shake the guy's hand after he popped his ears? Dave thanks Mackey
for playing Audience Show and Tell and . . . . shakes his hand."
I think I would have found a polite way NOT to shake his hand.
>Will it Float? ... Before we begin, Dave promotes the WIF home game. Also, he
>wants to say one thing: it's been brought to his attention that he's the only
>one who enjoys WIF.
Whoever told that to Dave should be fired. I *love* WIF and now feel compelled
to send Dave a WIF fan letter.
>Getting back to the game ... The item: a 10-pound box of Milkbone brand dog
>biscuits.
I also played at home and won.
>Christina Aguilera ...
>She certainly didn't seem to want to continue talking about
>the piercings, but she eventually seemed to get 'into' the conversation.
And I certainly didn't want to hear more about her piercings. I focused instead
on her dramatic eye makeup. I decided I liked her eyeshadow and the Cleopatra
eyeliner was sooo '60s chic. Sorta cool.
>Also, you must admit: she
>can sing. Really, that was impressive vocal work, don't you think? Contrast
>that performance with Britney Spears' pathetic lip-synching act.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Christina has real talent and should not be compared to that poppet, Britney.
>Gary Mule Deer ...
I remember he told a joke into that low microphone, then I must've dozed off.
>Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira
Meredith looked great and did nice cape work, except she kept rubbing Paul's
back too much.
>many people have told me that supermarkets are a good place to meet
>women.
Wrong. I remember a guy came up to me once in a supermarket and said, "I want
to give you one compliment before you die. It's nice to see a woman who doesn't
paint her fingernails."
I kept wondering if this psycho was going to follow me home and kill me. Now I
immediately distrust any guy who approaches me in the supermarket. For a while
the Kroger seafood guy and I had a "special" relationship. He kept putting
extra oysters into my seafood order until I was hospitalized for a week with
shigella, a bacteria I contracted from eating contaminated food. Now I
immediately distrust all seafood guys.
> As I was walking
>toward an open register, a very attractive woman approaching the same
>register
>turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead of me? It looks like you're
>in
>a hurry."
>Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo?
Maybe. Since she smiled at your follow-up line, she might have been been given
the misguided advice that supermarkets are a good place to meet men. Further
chat could have determined her level of interest.
>how the hell are you supposed to
>breach that next step and, say, actually exchange contact info? It's
>impossible, I tell you!
Very difficult, at least. If you *had* chatted further, you possibly could have
established a mutual acquaintance or contact point. You know, the old "didn't
we meet at that Friends of the Museum event?" However, if you had just
introduced yourself and asked if she wanted to go for coffee, she might have
mistaken you for a stalker. A woman can't be too careful these days -- unless
you have the martial arts prowess of MeanMary.
Kate
Dsikula
>From: water...@aol.comnospam (Brady)
>Date: 1/17/2004 2:14 AM Pacific Standard Time
>Message-id: <20040117051405...@mb-m06.aol.com>
>Here's how I saw last night's show ...
>
>Monologue ... Highlights:
<Crickets>
>Audience Show and Tell.
>
>Participant # 1: Gina, a student from Sherman, Texas. . The pictures weren't
>exactly
>compelling. But at least the contestant had a good attitude.
As soon as I saw her, I knew she was going to be a contestant. I also knew it
was three minutes of my life I was never gonna get back.
>Participant # 2: Adam, a concert promoter and documentary producer from
>Hoboken, NJ.
I don't care what he said, he was putting on the voice.
>Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC.
Decent Stupid Human Trick, but not much else.
>After the break, Dave reads a piece of WIT fan mail. He reads a couple more
>later in the show.
"WIT?" What the hell is WIT? "Will I Talk to that nice woman in the
supermarket?" (And you should have, without projecting anything more than it
being a nice chat.)
>Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than I
>had anticipated.
Well, I'm glad someone did. Jeebus, it was like eavesdropping on a high-school
sophmore talking on her cell phone in the mall. Excruciating.
>Gary Mule Deer ... Ah, a little 'Lyle Lovett-Julia Roberts
>marriage/temperature
>in the Theater/Bob Dole is old' humor. So topical. Still, I enjoyed his set
>on
>a certain level. And a couple of his lines really made me chuckle.
Brady, Brady, Brady. What did you like more? The "Hey, how 'bout that
President Garfield" joke or the Teapot Dome material?
At least he didn't shoot arrows this time.
>Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira
I had almost completely lost any interest in the show by this time.
>Christina Aguilera performs ... Again, you must admit: she does have good
>vocal
>power.
Yes, but there's a difference between being able to sing loud and do vocal
gymnastics and actually being able to find the meaning in a song without all
the vocal crap.
If she think she's been influenced by Etta James, she better watch out for
James's lawsuit. She's learned nothing.
Awful awful awful.
A hideous end to a mediocre week.
--Mr. Cranky
-------------------------
"Those who like this sort of thing will find this is the sort of thing they
like." --Abraham Lincoln
Pat Fleet
brave she was to share her live & learn experiences with Manicure Fetish
Man, and The Seafood Poisoner):
Brady:
>> how the hell are you supposed to breach that next step and, say, actually
>> exchange contact info? It's impossible, I tell you!
Kate:
> Very difficult, at least. If you *had* chatted further, you possibly could
> have established a mutual acquaintance or contact point. You know, the old
> "didn't we meet at that Friends of the Museum event?" However, if you had just
> introduced yourself and asked if she wanted to go for coffee, she might have
> mistaken you for a stalker. A woman can't be too careful these days -- unless
> you have the martial arts prowess of MeanMary.
Here's a thought -- chat it up with a woman IN a coffee shop line (a
Starbucks or your local neighborhood shop). Those cafes are usually packed
in the mornings before work. Go early enough, so that if you meet someone,
you can stay a few minutes and continue right there & then. Begin with some
positive opener, "The line's moving quickly this morning," or, "You were
smart to wear that coat, it's colder than I thought today." And then move to
something from the headlines, or even, "Can you believe 10 pounds of dog
biscuits would *float*!?" That's a simple qualifier for Dave-fan and/or
sense of humor.
From there, move to, "Will I see you here tomorrow?" If yes, relax and just
show up again the next day. If no, "Do you know other good coffee places?
Maybe I'll see you there." Etc. Etc. Etc. At some point, you've just got to
make your own moves, "May I call you sometime?" Then get the actual phone
number or email address. She might have a business card. Always have a pen
handy, if she wants to embellish with private info on the back.
Morning meetings are good because you at least know people are up and
getting ready to go do something with the day. Even if it's something they
hate, they're awake and living. Those are the women you want to meet! Warts
and all, they're so much more interesting & tangible than the dead or
imaginary ones on pedestals. ;)
P.S. A similar scenario can be played out at night in a bar, but, well, you
know...the results could be a whole lot different. It depends on what you're
looking for.
Tom Cronin
<< As soon as I saw her, I knew she was going to be a contestant.>>
True. If there's a petite blonde sitting front and center, you know she's
getting her name called.
<< [Listening to Christina] was like eavesdropping on a high-school sophmore
talking on her cell phone in the mall. >>
How would you know? What do you do in your spare time?
kath
"Brad Hill" <br...@bradhill.com> wrote
> Uncouth?! Brady, this is life. This is people. You live on a piece of rock
> swirling through the impersonal vastness of the universe. We are all
> intimately in the same boat. That woman is your lover, your sister, your
> mother, your child. There is no such thing as uncouth. Talk to her! She
> wants exactly what you want! Be whom she longs for!
>
omg Brad is hott for scant moment!
kath
"Brady" <water...@aol.comnospam> wrote in message
news:20040117051405...@mb-m06.aol.com...
> This 'Synopsis' is dedicated to Kath Creel. Oh, you *know* she's got the
flava.
Yesterday the flava was sourball jawbreaker, today it's fickle pickle...all
the girls love Brady!
And thanks for the thought of the tapes Kate, but I don't have a machine to
play them. All my late show viewing is done when it airs. The last show
viewed was Paul Newman, before everything went down. Oh my, it is missed!
> Here's how I saw last night's show ...
>
> "And then I'm down in Times Square. And I see a tourist ... using his
credit
> card to chip ice off a hooker."
Ooo I hates the cold.
> After the break, Dave holds up a copy of Christina Aguilera's newest CD.
> Looking at the photo on the cover, he says that he's noticed that a lot of
> young people nowadays are wearing their pants really low; says that he
doesn't
> think that *his* pants would stay on if he wore them that low. Paul says
that
> it's a matter of aerodynamics -- a theorem, if you will.
Low pants are sexy, except on fat guys asses.
> Next, an announcement: Audio Engineer Tommy Young and wife Debbie had a
baby
> girl. Elena, their first child, was 6 lbs., 12 oz.
Thanks Sharon for the recall to Tommy's website, he use to have so many
celeb shots.
> Late Show Unfair Edit (Bush: "This administration has over one hundred
> problems. That is a fact.")
LSUE is hilarious even in writing.
> Getting back to the game ... The item: a 10-pound box of Milkbone brand
dog
> biscuits.
In years 10-12 at school, I would come home after swim practice and eat a
box of milkbone dog biscuits. Why?? Well one day I came home starved after
practiced, and the only thing that I didn't have to cook was milkbone
dogbiscuits. So I ate them. They didn't taste too bad. I attribute my
healthy teeth and bones to them, but I never developed a thick shiny coat.
;)
> Act V: The Cape Thing, with The View's Meredith Vieira
Act 5 is pretty much always cut for Aus viewing.
> Christina Aguilera performs ... Again, you must admit: she does have good
vocal
> power.
She's won a Grammy.
> So what else is happening? For the record: I do not have any piercings in
> 'special' areas.
Brady! That's what women like to talk about in the supermarket isle!!
Kath
Dsikula
>From: tkhkc...@aol.comrade (Tom Cronin)
>Date: 1/17/2004 12:36 PM Pacific Standard Time
>Message-id: <20040117153639...@mb-m05.aol.com>
>
><< From Big Dake >>
>
>
><< As soon as I saw her, I knew she was going to be a contestant.>>
>
>True. If there's a petite blonde sitting front and center, you know she's
>getting her name called.
>
>
><< [Listening to Christina] was like eavesdropping on a high-school sophmore
>talking on her cell phone in the mall. >>
>
>How would you know? What do you do in your spare time?
>
Hey, Brady's got the supermarket; I've got the food court.
--Dake Sikula
Helen Read
> "Pat Fleet" <pfl...@mn.rr.com> wrote
>
>>A good tip for future LS/DaveCon trips -- take a little something in your
>>bag for Show & Tell.
>
> That's inconceivable. They must arrange it on the phone, when distributing
> tickets.
I can't believe they would arrange it that far in advance. We've seen
scripts for the show with 5 or 6 comedy pieces from which Dave chooses
two or three to actually do. How the hell would they ever know
days/weeks/months ahead that on such and such a night they'll be doing AS&T?
I think it has to be arranged on the day of the taping, when people come
to pick up their tickets, the same way they pick out KYCE contestants.
The guy from NJ could have had a friend pick up the baseball in a cup
from his house and bring it to the Ed. What's her name is in town for
several weeks, and for some odd reason must have brought the pictures of
her tortured dog with her; plenty of time to go back to the hotel and
get them between the time she picked up her ticket and when it was time
to line up for the show.
--
HPR
Helen Read
> Brady wrote:
>
>>Monologue ... Highlights: "How are ya? Nice to see ya. Thank you so much. I
>>am
>>so glad you people are in a good mood. It's freezing. It's lousy, freezing
>>cold
>>outside.
>
> I ignore all the "it's so cold..." jokes and huddle in my flannel robe, basking
> in the warmth of the teevee. I'd rather not think about freezing temperatures.
I sit here feeling superior when they whine about the temperature or
show the bank sign. They think +16 or +9 or +2 is cold? That isn't
anything. Sissies.
>>Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC.
>
> I think I would have found a polite way NOT to shake his hand.
I was distracted by how *tall* the guy was.
>>Will it Float? ... Before we begin, Dave promotes the WIF home game. Also, he
>>wants to say one thing: it's been brought to his attention that he's the only
>>one who enjoys WIF.
>
> Whoever told that to Dave should be fired. I *love* WIF and now feel compelled
> to send Dave a WIF fan letter.
Same here. WIF rocks.
--
HPR
Helen Read
>>From: water...@aol.comnospam (Brady)
>
>>Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than I
>>had anticipated.
>
> Well, I'm glad someone did. Jeebus, it was like eavesdropping on a high-school
> sophmore talking on her cell phone in the mall. Excruciating.
Where do they find all these vacuous twenty-something guests, anyway?
Let's see, they talked about her body piercings, and, um, was there
something else? What a waste of time.
--
HPR
Helen Read
> << From waterclock >>
>
> << The verdict? It floats. I *did* play at home and won. >>
>
> First time I've won in several weeks. The game is deceptively difficult.
You mean you lost on the unpopped popcorn? That was *such* an easy one.
> << Christina Aguilera ... Ya know, I actually enjoyed this interview more than
> I had anticipated. >>
>
> I don't remember a thing she said: all I could concentrate on was that hideous
> eye makeup and those creepy fake brows. She looked like an alien.
The hair dye job was just ghastly.
--
HPR
Maybeso320
>>stopped
by a supermarket to stock up on soda and low-carb candy bars. As I was walking
toward an open register, a very attractive woman approaching the same register
turned to me>>
You know, almost the same thing happened to me today.
A very attractive woman approached me as I was entering the supermarket this
morning. She told me not to go in as she was from Southern California and
they were on strike.
I told her I was going into the supermarket in Oakland, California which is in
Northern California and all my friendly supermarket workers in the store I was
entering were not on strike.
Oh, then we had quite a conversation. A couple of her friends who were with
her all joined in on our conversation. And. then I continued on and told her
that she was lucky she had a full time job and that said job offered her health
benefits at all because some of us don't even have full time jobs with health
benefits.
She and her friends started to get a little upset and started shouting that now
that they had to pay for their health benefits, it was un American and everyone
should be ashamed..
I told her I had nothing against her union and that in fact, if she could be on
strike since early November and still afford to take a road trip to Oakland, CA
from her home in Southern California, that I totally wanted to join her union
and work for the company she worked for.
My, the whole discussion was quite enjoyable but I was happy when the security
guards came along and helped me make my way into the store.
Maybe...who has been advised not to join in any more discussions with the
people in the front of the store no matter how attractive or friendly they are.
Nekk58
>Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC.
>must say: that was pretty damn impressive. I liked this guy. He reminded me
>of
>Bill Lehecka before Bill got in the top physical condition of his life and
>got
>a girlfriend.
it.
Dave's comment on Will It Float:
> Anyway, "we're gonna continue to play it until I drop
>dead."
Exactly my thoughts, if Dave likes it, so be it. Enjoy.
Brady's comments on meeting that lady in the supermarket reminded me of this
movie I was watching tonight. This lady was looking at me right on the screen,
right at me. Wow. Then this guy wakes up in the movie, and ask her who she
was? She says, "Pussy Galore", right at the screen, to me, imagine that. I
was stunned!
Brady writes:
>Wow, it's really late. I gotta 'hit the sheets,' people.
>
>Later ...
No comment on this one. Later.....
>What do you think?
I think you did well, Brady, goodnight.
COGGY13
Nekk58
COGGY13
>
>I hope you're not talking about me coggy, I've been a guy all my life,
>sheesh.
Nope. I'm mainly confused about myself.
Tom Cronin
<< Uncouth?! Brady, this is life. This is people. You live on a piece of rock
swirling through the impersonal vastness of the universe. We are all intimately
in the same boat. That woman is your lover, your sister, your mother, your
child. There is no such thing as uncouth. Talk to her! She wants exactly what
you want! Be whom she longs for! >>
I'd like to think that Brady might be inspired to print this paragraph and
display it prominently somewhere in his house.
I fear, though, you've probably scared him to death with that "piece of rock
swirling through the universe" business.
Brad Hill
> I think it has to be arranged on the day of the taping, when people come
> to pick up their tickets, the same way they pick out KYCE contestants.
> The guy from NJ could have had a friend pick up the baseball in a cup
> from his house and bring it to the Ed. What's her name is in town for
> several weeks, and for some odd reason must have brought the pictures of
> her tortured dog with her; plenty of time to go back to the hotel and
> get them between the time she picked up her ticket and when it was time
> to line up for the show.
I can't believe any of this. I think Dave is willing to plan on *one*
audience segment in advance. When they call people to give tickets, they
find those with items to show, and shunt them onto a certain date.
Brad
www.bradhill.com
www.DigitalSongstream.com
FOXYSCRIBE
Man or woman, Coggy's funny.
bostonbill41
>I can't believe any of this. I think Dave is willing to plan on *one*
audience segment in advance. When they call people to give tickets, they
find those with items to show, and shunt them onto a certain date.<
My feeling is that STB or KYCE is planned day of, but, SAT must be done
in advanced. Although I do think there are people who carry around
photos of their pets much like people carry photos of their kids.
I suppose it's possible that out of 400plus people attending the show,
the producers could find 3 or 4 that have something for Show and Tell,
or else the whole thing is a set up and they found a guy who kind of
looks like the guy in the bleachers that caught the ball.
Bill
Traci
> You people are experts in human interaction, right? (Just play along.) Here's
> one for ya -- it's something that we've discussed before, I think ... Over the
> years, many people have told me that supermarkets are a good place to meet
> women. Now, I have never believed that. Seriously, how lame would it be for a
> guy to approach a woman in a supermarket and start inquiring about the ripeness
> of mangos?
>
> The reason I bring this up: tonight on my way home from the office, I stopped
> by a supermarket to stock up on soda and low-carb candy bars. As I was walking
> toward an open register, a very attractive woman approaching the same register
> turned to me and said, "Do you want to go ahead of me? It looks like you're in
> a hurry."
>
> Question: Could that have been interpreted as a flirtatious salvo?
No. She was being nice. Let me give you an example of a flirtatious
salvo from my very own life.
I'm in line at the local specialty supermarket chatting with the wine
manager when a male friend of hers joins in. It's the night before
Christmas Eve and we're all stocking up on liquor and discussing our
rather uneventful holiday plans. The manager gal obviously is looking to
get the male friend to her house for the evening because she tells him
directly she will be "home alone in my t-shirt, sweats and pink socks."
Guy says he'll probably do the same at his place minus the the pink
socks. Manager gal gets a phone call and walks away. I continue the
conversation by asking the guy if he might consider wearing a
strategically placed pink sock. It takes a beat or two, but he realizes
what I'm talking about and starts to laugh. Then he gets embarrassed.
That was a flirtatious salvo on my part. I wanted to see the guy in just
a strategically placed sweat sock. Of course, I was a little over the
top as usual and the guy bolted before I got a phone number. But at
least he walked me to my car first.
Traci
--
"I have no wish for a second husband. I had enough of the first.
I like to have my own way--to lie down mistress, and get up master."
--Susanna Moodie
Katycren
>I sit here feeling superior when they whine about the temperature or
>show the bank sign. They think +16 or +9 or +2 is cold? That isn't
>anything. Sissies.
You must be part polar bear. Even reptiles think +2 is cold.
>>>Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC.
>>
>> I think I would have found a polite way NOT to shake his hand.
>
>I was distracted by how *tall* the guy was.
That too. As I wondered about the imminent earwaxy handshake, I was also trying
to figure Mackie's height relative to Dave's. How tall is Dave anyway? 6' 2"
or 6' 3"?
Mackie was quite the big boy.
Kate
Katycren
Here's a test:
If Traci asked you to wear a "strategically placed pink sock," where would you
put it?
Marilyn
> True. If there's a petite blonde sitting front and center, you know she's
getting her name called.
Screw petite.
Tom Cronin
<< Screw petite. >>
Seriously. I can't believe the Yanks let him get away.
MeanMary
Katycren <katy...@aol.com> wrote:
: I've driven past the signs for Gastonia many times when going to Charlotte.
: Next time I'll go on into Gastonia to try the barbecue. (hmmm.... ribs!)
Be careful not to get shot. AFAIK, Gastonia is the murder
capital of N.C. Detour to Blowing Rock (Woodlands) or
Goldsboro (Harold's?) for the bbq.
:>it's been brought to his attention that he's the only
:>one who enjoys WIF.
: Whoever told that to Dave should be fired. I *love* WIF and now
: feel compelled to send Dave a WIF fan letter.
WIF is one of my favorite segments, but I'm not industrious
enough to write a letter.
:>Also, you must admit: she
:>can sing. Really, that was impressive vocal work, don't you think? Contrast
:>that performance with Britney Spears' pathetic lip-synching act.
: Exactly what I was thinking. Christina has real talent and should not
: be compared to that poppet, Britney.
While hers is not a genre I typically listen to, I must
admit a great admiration for her considerable vocal talent.
: A woman can't be too careful these days -- unless
: you have the martial arts prowess of MeanMary.
Even then, caution is the first line of defense.
MeanMary
--
Baseball is the perfect game for the mystic mind. George Plimpton
--
Copyright 2003 Mary Ballard // I do not speak for Appalachian State U.
// ball...@pm.appstate.edu - remove *s* and *a* from spam to email me.
Helen Read
> Helen wrote:
>
>>I sit here feeling superior when they whine about the temperature or
>>show the bank sign. They think +16 or +9 or +2 is cold? That isn't
>>anything. Sissies.
>
> You must be part polar bear.
According to my late grandfather, I'm descended from horse thieves.
> Even reptiles think +2 is cold.
It's all a matter of what you're used to. +2 is nothing out of the
ordinary here, certainly nothing to whine about on TV. We had
temperatures in the minus teens and minus twenties for a week and a half
straight, lower than that in some locations; a friend recorded minus 35
at her house on Thursday. So when it finally got up into the single
digits above zero on Friday, it felt damn good by comparison.
(It was downright *warm* here today, BTW. Got all the way up into the
positive twenties. Everyone I saw this afternoon was absolutely giddy at
how gorgeous it was. I had to switch to a lighter weight coat.)
--
HPR
Helen Read
Hmmm, it's too bad we don't know anyone who works at the show who writes
a daily gazette who could give us the inside story of how this works.
--
HPR
Katycren
Screw blonde.
Alan Page
"Maybeso320" wrote...
> I told her I was going into the supermarket in Oakland, California which is in
> Northern California and all my friendly supermarket workers in the store I was
> entering were not on strike.
Wait until later this year...when the Northern California union's contract
is up. The SoCal strike is going to show where things will be going.
--
Alan
www.best-page.us
~WWWWW~
What a Wonderful Web We Weave
Brad Hill
> You must be part polar bear. Even reptiles think +2 is cold.
*Even* reptiles? Reptiles don't like cold weather. Aren't they cold-blooded?
Doesn't that mean they think 80 degrees is cold?
Brad
www.bradhill.com
www.DigitalSongstream.com
Brad Hill
news:20040118211541...@mb-m06.aol.com...
Honestly, this *really* sounds like my honeymoon.
Brad
www.bradhill.com
www.DigitalSongstream.com
Pat Fleet
> It's all a matter of what you're used to. +2 is nothing out of the
> ordinary here, certainly nothing to whine about on TV.
Greetings from Minnesota where it was a crisp -10 degrees (yes, that's 10
below zero, real temp, -19 with the wind chill) this morning when I went out
to get the paper. The wacky Minnesotans love the cold so much, they're
celebrating for 10 days during the 118th annual Winter Carnival. This year
they're again building (a truly fantastic) Ice Palace. I'd like to see Biff
on the road with a LS camera crew at THAT event.
You can read all about it:
http://www.winter-carnival.com/
Bill Lehecka
news:20040117051405...@mb-m06.aol.com...
> Participant # 3: Mackie, a student from Gastonia, NC. ... . I liked this
guy. He reminded me of
> Bill Lehecka before Bill got in the top physical condition of his life and
got
> a girlfriend.
No... no he didn't.
--
Bill Lehecka (OldMa...@yahoo.com)
http://www.oldmatador.com/letterman/
Recipient: 2003 alt.fan.letterman
Lifetime Achievement Award
Katycren
>Helen of the Arctic wrote:
>> It's all a matter of what you're used to. +2 is nothing out of the
>> ordinary here, certainly nothing to whine about on TV.
>
>Greetings from Minnesota where it was a crisp -10 degrees (yes, that's 10
>below zero, real temp, -19 with the wind chill) this morning when I went out
>to get the paper. The wacky Minnesotans love the cold so much, they're
>celebrating for 10 days during the 118th annual Winter Carnival.
So, having lived in Georgia for almost my entire life, I'm excused if I prefer
to hibernate indoors when temperatures dip below a brisk 50 degrees. I have
become cold-blooded like the snake. I must maintain my body temperature by
basking in the sun by the pool whenever possible or beside a sunny window, at
least. Still, I feel duty-bound to bundle up my first graders and take them
outside to play whenever the weather is clear and above 30 degrees. Some of the
other cold-blooded teachers make the children play inside the gym on such
freezing days.
It's only 37 degrees right now, so I'll wait an hour before venturing outside.
Expected high is 47.
Kate, enjoying the MLK holiday
Katycren
>> >Screw petite.
>>
>> Screw blonde.
>
>Honestly, this *really* sounds like my honeymoon.
>
SLBHFH?
(Sounds Like Brad Hill's Fantasy Honeymoon?)
Kate