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my mom died on memoerial day
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Whorella Mundane
Jun 5, 2021, 1:16:49 PM6/5/21
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I always knew I was going to lose her and I thought that would make it easier. that it wouldn't be so sudden. on may 23 she had a seizure and she was gone a week later. I had so many good days with her in the hospital. she was able to move her whole body and was talking and we were bringing her home and she was telling us what to get for Sunday dinner - stuffed cabbages - speghetti and meatballs. she was trying to act like nothing had happened to her.
but no one ever said she was dying until the hospice nurse and she said only a few days to go. but it was only one day and I'm so grateful I was there for that. she simply stopped breathing. no long suffering. and her dog Molly was right there laying on her. so now Molly clings to me and it's all hear-wrenching. but drinking white claws help but I have to find a desire to live and it's my son and daughter - lolo I consider a daughter. I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel cathartic. there's no poetry in this.
oh mommy...you were always talking about how ready you were to meet Jesus. how you missed your brothers and sisters. our will to live was so weak. the two of us.
what have I to look forward to? intense grieving. going back home to a house with horrible memories. oh it was so beautiful at my mom's and I had to many oldster friends. so many trees - high hill. beautful. and I am grateful for the time I had with her up in her pre-heaven but now feel like I'm going back to a very dark place.
I'll do my best mom. wish you were here to see it ... oh how I love you ... how lucky I was to have to you. how you prevailed against so much. thank you for being my mother ... beautiful you will always be. and no letter from Gordie this time. they'll all dying. I see my mother's point... if you want to die, I guess you will. comforting ...
but no one ever said she was dying until the hospice nurse and she said only a few days to go. but it was only one day and I'm so grateful I was there for that. she simply stopped breathing. no long suffering. and her dog Molly was right there laying on her. so now Molly clings to me and it's all hear-wrenching. but drinking white claws help but I have to find a desire to live and it's my son and daughter - lolo I consider a daughter. I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel cathartic. there's no poetry in this.
oh mommy...you were always talking about how ready you were to meet Jesus. how you missed your brothers and sisters. our will to live was so weak. the two of us.
what have I to look forward to? intense grieving. going back home to a house with horrible memories. oh it was so beautiful at my mom's and I had to many oldster friends. so many trees - high hill. beautful. and I am grateful for the time I had with her up in her pre-heaven but now feel like I'm going back to a very dark place.
I'll do my best mom. wish you were here to see it ... oh how I love you ... how lucky I was to have to you. how you prevailed against so much. thank you for being my mother ... beautiful you will always be. and no letter from Gordie this time. they'll all dying. I see my mother's point... if you want to die, I guess you will. comforting ...
John W.
Jun 5, 2021, 4:30:34 PM6/5/21
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John
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