Did they fix your breathing problem?

[Dennis]

Just curious. I smoked for years and quit but now have COPD.
No more pot for me either.
 

[whorella mundane]

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 2:24:43 AM UTC-4, Dennis wrote:
> Just curious. I smoked for years and quit but now have COPD.
> No more pot for me either.
>  

they call any breathing problem COPD which kinda equals: tough shit smoker loser DIE ... even if you never smoked. i had never been a big cigarette smoker but they act like smoking 1 or 2 cigs a day is no different than smoking 1 or 2 packs. wtf? why would one even try smoking less?

no one needs to know you ever smoked but i guess it's on your medical record, which is like a criminal record and credit report in one.

the other thing ... lung cancer is not the real threat from smoking although you'd think it - but it's heart disease and honestly i don't think they can prove any of this. i mean ... isolating all the other variables in a study would be almost impossible.

us baby boomer grew up with gritty skies and sticky yellow second hand smoke and you'd think, given how our parents smoked with impunity, that there would be entire hospitals built just to treat their smoking-related injuries. i just think that guilt is deadly.

i'll get to the point for once though ... i spent a few years on prednisone 'cause it was really bad ... DON'T EVER BE HONEST ABOUT SMOKING WITH YOUR DOCTOR. EVER. you get no credit for quitting ... and it's just ... humans race to blame ... we want to blame something for disease because we cry like wittle babies "it's not fair" when we all know we are going to die ... still ... it's like an infant whose ball rolled under the couch and we start screeching thinking it's gone forever.

oh and you can't snort drugs, either. yeah ...

you have touchy lungs ... just ... take care of them. i carry a ventolin inhaler ... it's never more than an arms length away, but i went through ... well it was brutal. i was able to explain what it's like.

i told lolo to take a huge breath and hold it ... and when that gets uncomfortable, instead of breathing out, try to breathe in again. and again. and again ...

the nurses would be yelling at me: breathe! ... as if i was not breathing on purpose, for attention or something. then they yell: stop panicking! but if you can't breathe ... every cell in your body starts wigging. and it happens so quickly ... you try to breathe in but there's no where for the air to go. my face would start to burn ... cold, sweaty skin ... eyeballs wanting to bust out of yer skull ... and then you start turning blue. pee yourself. dang i wish lolo would have gotten a photo of me blue but she was losing it when she found me the one time. anyway.

as far as a cure ... i have a nebulizer so the steroids can be delivered right to my lungs as they are hell on you. so i'm told. again, the doctor treated me like i was taking them for no reason ... made jokes like "are you sure you still want these steroids? what? don't you like your knees?"

at least with gordon downie ... he will get treated as best you possibly can. as long as he stays in canada. he will get sympathy. people always assuming the best. helping the most. i can't even imagine what that's like.

i honestly don't even miss smoking dope. or drinking. i can drink but ... there's "nothing out there" anymore. i lost that feeling that "something is out there" ... that's how i define youth ... feeling that something is still out there.

i guess middle age is realizing that it's gone and trying to get it back. but get what back? it's a thing like air ... you didn't even know it was there 'cause it just always was.

the next big thing. the next ... something. and sure - i'm working towards something: I DON'T WANT TO BE OLD AND POOR. that is the grimmest shit i can think of. old, poor and alone ... i can do "alone" but not if i'm old and poor. it's not so bad being poor when you're young and "something is still out there" but when you're old ...

yuck. oh and 'old, poor sick and alone' and i'd just go ... i don't think you get punished for committing suicide. we assume that, given the pain a suicide leaves behind but seriously ... someone kills himself instead of another and gets punished more? doesn't make sense. plus, the course in miracles says everyone gets a chance to come back when they die, so, essentially all death is suicide. and think about it ... prince, bowie, they didn't want to come back ... oh to be nearer thy God ... anyway.

so ... my state just made pot legal but non-smokables.
not like that means anything at this point ... i have a covered condition but still ... can't imagine a doctor writing a 'script. but still - i never thought i'd live to see the day!

anyway buddy ... i mean ... from now on, you gotta be gentle to your lungs ... and make it easier for your body to transfer air to your cells as efficiently as possible ... for me, that means i gotta lose a lot of wieght.

that is what i'm trying to do ... but other times, i'm like 'okay god just f'n kill me now then.' food is the one thing that "is still out there" given i can afford the time and money to make great meals! yes ... what will i eat today?

so yeah there you go ... sorry i don't have much else to say ...

[Dennis]

In article <caa2bdab-93a1-4713-8c3c-
912b9c...@googlegroups.com>

Thats ok, glad to hear you're hanging in there.

Fighting the same battle myself.