Happy Birthday Conch Republic, A history Lesson
Dave Stracher
From -- http://www.flkeysmag.com/conch.htm
THE CONCH REPUBLIC, A MANDATE TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT
By: Peter Anderson, Office of the Secretary General, Conch Republic
In the issues to follow of Florida Keys Magazine, we will have Conch Republic
updates. For those of you who do not know about our Conch Republic, the history
to follow will take you through the turbulent era as citizens of the Florida
Keys nearly went to war with the United States Federal Government.
THE BEGINNING
When the United States Border Patrol set up a check point at the Last Chance
Saloon in Florida City effectively cutting off the Florida Keys at the
confluence of the only two roads out, Last Chance owner, Skeeter Davis, was
immediately on the phone to his old pal Mayor Dennis Wardlow of Key West.
Meanwhile, a seventeen mile traffic jam ensued while the Border Patrol stopped
every car leaving the Keys, supposedly searching for illegal aliens attempting
to enter the mainland United States. Residents and visitors attempting to leave
the Keys were puzzled about what illegal aliens could be hiding under their
front seats, in their glove compartments, and in their trunks. The media
started reporting on the unprecedented action of the Border Patrol in setting
up a border checkpoint within the United States itself. As the stories of the
traffic jam poured out across the nation and the world, visitors started
canceling reservations to come to the Keys. The hotels began to empty,
deliveries were delayed or stopped, attractions in the Keys went begging for
customers, the Keys were paralyzed.
Community leaders started to gather around the Mayor to decide what to do.
William E. Smith, Townsend Keifer, John Magliola, Dennis Bitner, Jimmy Mira,
Edwin O. Swift III, David Paul Horan, and many others were concerned. The very
lifeblood of a budding tourism industry was threatened. Secessionist talk was
bubbling up in each discussion. At the urging of Dave Horan, the legal route
was chosen as the first alternative. Dave filed an injunction against the
government's action in Federal Court in Miami. Mayor Wardlow and Ed Swift piled
into Dave's airplane, and off to court they flew. Dave argued brilliantly, but
the court essentially refused to enjoin the Border Patrol from treating the
Keys like a foreign country. Leaving the courthouse, the delegation from Key
West was met by a gaggle of the world press. "What are you going to do, Mr.
Mayor," they screamed. Ed leaned over and whispered to Dennis, "Tell them we are
going to go home and secede!" So ... that's exactly what Dennis told them ...
"We are going to go home and secede."
Naturally, the press followed Dennis back to Key West. As the news of the
Mayor's intentions hit the newspapers and the airwaves, the community
splintered. When the rumor flew that the American flag was to be lowered, and
the Conch Republic flag raised in its place, a number of people were very upset
. The calls came pouring in to the Mayor. A compromise was reached, the
American flag would stay. The Conch flag would be raised underneath it.
Meanwhile, federal agents started pouring into town. Very conspicuous in the
blue suits, shirt cuff microphones, and flesh colored earphones in this island
community of Guyabara shirts, cutoffs, and sandals; the federal agents were
intimidating in their presence. What would happen? Would everyone involved be
arrested? Would the Keys be placed under martial law?
Fear was real. The community was deeply divided. On April 23rd, 1982, Mayor
Wardlow surrounded by his loyal cohorts mounted the back of a flatbed truck in
Clinton Square in front of the Old Customs building and delivered the following
Proclamation to the assembled crowd (including a number of very vocal
protesters):
We, the people of Key West are called Conchs. Sometimes we are called
Conchs with affection, sometimes with humor, and sometimes with derision.
I proclaim that Key West shall now be known as the Conch Republic, and
as the flag of our new republic is raised, I thereby state to Washington
and the rest of the United States, and the world, what the Conchs are and
were.
When Jamestown, Virginia was settled by Englishmen and fed up with the
arrogance, the derision, the abuse of rights by a despot, a King without
compassion or sense of humanity, another group was settling in the
Bahamas and they were called "Conchs".
They were known as "Conchs" because they hoisted flags with the tough,
hard conch shellfish indicating they would rather eat conch than pay the
King's taxes and live under his tyranny.
That's our flag. It has a conch on it.
We secede from the United States.
We've raised our flag, given our notice, and named our new government.
We serve notice on the government in Washington to remove the roadblock
or get ready to put up a permanent border to a new foreign land.
We as a people may have suffered in the past, but we have no intention of
suffering in the future at the hands of fools and bureaucrats.
We're not going to beg, to beseech the nation of the United States for
help. We're not going to ask for something we should naturally have as
citizens - simple equality.
If we are not equal, we'll get out. It's as simple as that.
The first step was, like Mariel, up to Washington.
This step is up to us.
We call upon the people of the Florida Keys to join us or not, as they
see fit. (the county of Monroe did in fact ratify the secession)
We're not a fearful people. We're not a group to cringe and whimper when
Washington cracks the whip with contempt and unconcern.
We're Conchs, and we've had enough.
We're happy to secede today with some humor. But there is some anger, too.
Big trouble has started in much smaller places than this.
I am calling on all my fellow citizens here in the Conch Republic to
stand together, lest we fall apart - Fall from fear, from a lack of
courage, intimidation by an uncaring government whose actions show it
has grown too big to care for people on on a small island.
Signed, Dennis Wardlow, Prime Minister
Following the reading of the Proclamation, the new Prime Minister declared war
on the United States, whereupon members of the new government "beat" the
federal agents in attendance with stale Cuban bread. The Prime Minister then
surrendered, and demanded foreign aid from the United States. We are still
waiting for the foreign aid.
Thus, the plucky little Conch Republic was born. Amazingly, the United States
government, although they immediately removed the roadblock, never bothered
to react to the secession.
Meanwhile, the Conch Republic continues to celebrate its independence annually,
in a "public and notorious manner". The flags and passports are issued and
traveled on, visas are issued to visitors, the government "function"; in short,
has all the trappings of nationhood.
Ned Spector
Hi Dave:
I remember that roadblock. I was stuck in it for 4 hours, headed north
out of Key Largo. What a crock that was...If you were doing something
illegal, you could just make a U-turn south and sit somewhere and wait it
out.
I still have my "Border Pass" bumber sticker in my photo album from 1984
or whenever it was.
Ned
Dave Stracher wrote in message ...