What the Hell Happened to Steven Seagal?

[TMC]

http://lebeauleblog.com/2013/05/15/what-the-hell-happened-to-steven-seagal/

MAY 15
Posted by lebeau

Steven Seagal was a martial arts legend. Just ask him. If Seagal is
to be believed, he has lived an action-packed life that would rival
James Bond. Seagal, a seventh degree black belt in aikido, rose from
obscurity in the late 80′s to become one of Hollywood’s top-paid
action stars in the 90′s. Since then, Seagal has morphed into a
walking fat joke.

What the hell happened?

Seagal is a big man who likes to tell big stories. As a result, his
life story is filled with anecdotes which have been refuted or
disproven. At one point, Seagal claimed to be of Italian descent.
He’s actually half Irish and half Jewish. He also claimed to have
grown up in Brooklyn. He actually moved from Michigan to California
at a young age. It was Seagal’s own mother who discredited her son’s
version of his childhood. There’s a lot more of that to come.

According to Seagal, he was a student of the founder of aikido,
Morihei Ueshiba. Ueshiba died in 1968 when Seagal was a teenager.
While Seagal’s claim has not been disproven, it seems to have been
over-stated. To date, only one of Ueshiba’s students has any
recollection of Seagal’s presence during this time. And according to
that source, Seagal was “the kid who was always playing guitar.”

Speaking of the guitar, Seagal fancies himself a blues musician. He
has released two albums with his band, Thunderbox. According to
Seagal:

“I came up in Detroit and there was a lot of blues. I didn’t learn
blues from a fucking record; I learned it from the front porch. There
were all these people from Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas and I
learned from them.”

Seagal was five-years-old when his family moved from Lansing, Michigan
to Fullerton, California. But that doesn’t stop him from telling
stories about impressing the local blues artists who travelled from
all over the country to Detroit.

“Little Milton hadn’t heard me play before. I was doing this Lightnin’
Hopkins thing. Milton looked at me and nodded, like he was trying to
say, “This mutha ain’t white.”

When Seagal was in his twenties, he married his first wife, Miyako
Fujitani whose father owned an aikido dojo in Osaka. Eventually,
Seagal ran the dojo for his father-in-law. This substantiates
Seagal’s claim that he was the first Westerner to operate an aikido
dojo in Japan. Take note of that. It is one of the few stories
Seagal has told about himself which is actually true.

Seagal has frequently told stories of fighting off the feared Japanese
mafia, the Yakuza. He told Movieline, “I jumped right in their faces.
I was a tenacious motherfucker, man, and I was fearless.”

Seagal’s first wife refutes his claims,“It is a lie. He once chased a
few drunks away from the dojo but never was involved with
Yakuza.” (Fujitani also cast suspicion on Seagal’s Aikido black belt.
“The only reason Steven was awarded the black belt was because the
judge, who was famous for his laziness, fell asleep during Steven’s
presentation. The judge just gave him the black belt.”)

In the eighties, Seagal returned to the United States and married Days
of Our Lives actress, Adrienne La Russa. He didn’t let the fact that
he was still legally married to Fujitani stand in his way. When
Fujitani learned of her husband’s second marriage, she filed for an
annulment. Many believe Seagal only married her so he could stay in
Japan and run a dojo.

Seagal came to Hollywood as an aikido instructor and stunt
coordinator. His first film as a stunt coordinator was the 1982
action movie, The Challenge. which starred Scott Glenn and was
directed by John Frankenheimer.

In 1983, Seagal was hired as a martial arts instructor on the James
Bond flick, Never Say Never Again. He was hired specifically to train
Sean Connery. During filming, Seagal broke Connery’s wrist. It is
one of a long list of on-set injuries caused by Seagal.

Two years later, Seagal was hired as a martial arts choreographer on
the Roger Moore Bond movie, A View to a Kill.

In 1986, Seagal met model and actress Kelly LeBrock whom he described
as his “destiny”. LeBrock was famous from the shampoo ads in which
she pleaded, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

She had also starred opposite Gene Wilder in the 1984 comedy, The
Woman in Red and played the perfect woman in John Hughes’ teen comedy,
Weird Science. Whereas Seagal had broken James Bond’s wrist.

Although still married to La Russa, Seagal followed LeBrock to Hong
Kong to pursue a relationship. LeBrock became pregnant with Seagal’s
child. When La Russa learned of the love child, she had her marriage
to Seagal annulled. Meanwhile, Seagal filed for a legal divorce from
first wife his first wife. Two divorces later, Seagal was free to
marry LeBrock which he did in 1987.

Seagal was working as an aikido instructor in LA. Among his famous
students was super-star talent agent, Michael Ovitz. At the time,
Ovitz was considered by many to be the most powerful man in
Hollywood. Ovitz believed Seagal could be a movie star, so he set up
a martial arts demonstration on the Warner Bros lot.

Warner Bros was in the market for a low-budget action hero they could
call their own. Although Seagal had no acting experience whatsoever,
Warner Bros decided to take a gamble on him as an action hero. They
offered the aikido instructor his choice of several action scripts.
Seagal turned them all down but offered to write his own action movie
treatment.

Seagal’s first movie was the 1988 cop movie, Above the Law.

Above the Law was written and directed by Andrew Davis who would go on
to success with The Fugitive. Davis worked with the story which
Seagal had written. Above the Law co-starred Pam Grier and a then-
unkown Sharon Stone.

Reviews were more positive than one would expect from a low-budget
action film. Above the Law grossed $19 million dollars at the box
office which was impressive given its $7 million dollar budget.

While promoting Above the Law, Seagal hinted to the LA Times that he
had worked for the CIA in Japan:

“They saw my abilities, both with martial arts and with the language,”
he said. “You could say that I became an advisor to several CIA agents
in the field and through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful
people and did special works and special favors.”

Many have debunked Seagal’s claims to having worked with, for, or in
proximity to the CIA.

In 1990, Seagal starred opposite LeBrock in Hard to Kill. Once again,
Seagal played a hard-boiled cop who used aikido to save the day.
Reviews were mixed, but Hard to Kill was a hit at the box office. It
debuted at number one at the box office and grossed nearly $50 million
dollars.

Later that year, Seagal starred in another low-budget action film,
Marked for Death. Marked for Death improved on the impressive box
office of Hard to Kill. Seagal was proving to be remarkably
consistent as an action movie star.

Apparently, all of Seagal’s success was going to his head. Seagal was
always prone to bragging and making ridiculous claims. Among other
things, Seagal claimed to be a superb rider, a deadly marksmen, an
authority on antique samurai swords, and fluent in four languages.

Seagal boasted that he was immune to the judo technique known as
“choking out”. On the set of one of his movies, Seagal challenged
stuntman Gene LeBell, a judo black belt, to try to choke him out. The
story goes that not only did Seagal pass out, he reportedly crapped
his pants. LeBell has alluded to the incident indirectly, but
suggests that he is legally prohibited from discussing the details.

In 1991, Seagal starred in Out for Justice. Once again, he played a
hard ass cop. The movie was originally slapped with an NC-17 rating.
Cuts were made to get it down to an R. Reviews were mixed, but it was
Seagal’s third straight number one opening at the box office.

Later that year, Seagal hosted Saturday Night Live. To this day, he
is considered by many to be the worst host the show has ever had.
Seagal hated the sketches that had been written for them. Instead, he
wanted to do a sketch where he played a psychologist and cast member
Victoria Jackson played his patient, a rape victim. The joke in
Seagal’s mind is that he would try to rape his patient. When the SNL
staff tried to convince Seagal that it wasn’t funny and could never
get past the censors, Seagal became belligerent.

Years later, when Nicolas Cage hosted the show, he joked that he was
worried that the cast would think he was the biggest jerk ever to host
the show. Lorne Michaels deadpanned, “No, that was Steven Seagal.”

In 1992, Seagal reunited with his Above the Law director, Andrew
Davis, for Under Siege.

Seagal played a former Navy Seal serving as a cook on board a
battleship which is hi-jacked by terrorists. The bad guys in this Die
Hard knock-off were played by none other than Tommy Lee Jones and Gary
Busey. Former Playboy Playmate and future Baywatch Babe Erika Eleniak
co-starred as a Playboy Playmate and I assume future Baywatch Babe.

Under Siege received mostly positive reviews and was a big hit at the
box office. Previously, Seagal’s movies had topped out around $50
million dollars. But Under Siege grossed $86 million in the US and
over $150 million world-wide.

As Seagal’s popularity grew, his behavior grew more eccentric. He
alternately claimed to be ex-CIA and a Navy Seal. At one point, he
allegedly offered an ex-CIA operative named Robert Strickland $50,000
in cash to eliminate a former colleague. Strickland later sued Seagal
for stealing his stories and trying to pass them off as his own.

During this time, Seagal also faced several sexual harassment suits.
It was common practice for Seagal to ask women to take off their
tops. If they complied, he would grope their breasts in order to show
them where their spiritual “meridian points” were located.

According to Strickland:

Raeanne Malone, one of four women hired by Warner Bros. to serve as
Seagal’s personal assistants, is in the bathroom of his trailer,
brushing her teeth. Strickland watches as Seagal begins loudly calling
for Malone, saying he needs her immediately. She emerges still
brushing her teeth. “Gee, Raeanne,” says the man of honor and
protector of the weak, “You look like that when I come in your mouth.”

In May 1991 all four assistants – Malone, Nicole Selinger, Christine
Keever and another woman – quit because of Seagal’s continuing
piggery. Three of them threaten to bring sexual-harassment charges
against him. Malone and another of the women, in return for a pledge
of confidentiality, are paid in the vicinity of $50,000 each.

In 1994, Seagal decided he wanted to use his powers for good. So he
directed and starred in the environmental action movie, On Deadly
Ground. Seagal’s directorial debut was also his first box office
failure. Reviews were worse than usual and the movie flopped. It was
nominated for six Golden Raspberry awards.

Seagal recovered with Under Siege 2: Dark Territory in 1995. Really?
they couldn’t have called it Siege Harder?

Reviews were mixed, but the movie was a hit at the box office.

On Halloween night, LeBrock served Seagal with divorce papers. In
addition to feeling up women on his casting couch, Seagal was involved
in an affair with his children’s nanny at the time.

Actress Jenny McCarthy remembers a run-in with Seagal’s casting couch:

“They were casting Playmates for Under Siege 2. I was the last
audition, dressed frumpy and plain, the way I usually go, and I walk
into his office and it’s only Steven. His office has a huge shag
carpet – shag, I’ll repeat that, shag – and a huge screaming casting
couch. Casting, casting, casting, casting couch. And he says, ‘Listen,
I can’t tell what your body looks like with what you’re wearing, so
why don’t you stand up and take off your dress?’ “I started crying,
and I said, ‘My video’s for sale for $14.99, go buy it if you want to
see.’ And I ran out to my car, and he grabbed my arm and followed me
and said, ‘Don’t ever tell this to anybody.’ I was like, ‘Dude, you
are gonna regret this one day.”

Following the success of the Under Siege films, Seagal tried to break
into higher budget action movies. He took a supporting role in the
1996 action movie, Executive Decision which co-starred Kurt Russell
and Halle Berry.

Seagal’s character died fairly early in the movie which did not sit
well with the star’s ego. According to co-star John Leguizamo, they
started filming Seagal’s death scene at 6 in the morning but couldn’t
actually get the actor to play along until 8 PM.

Leguizamo has spoken out frequently about an incident with Seagal on
the set:

“We were in rehearsals for Executive Decision. I’m playing his Master
Sargeant and we come in for rehearsals and he says, ‘I’m in command.
Everything I say is law. Anybody doesn’t agree?’ I was like,
‘Bwahahaha.’ I started cracking up because he sounded like a retard
and he came up and he Taekwondo’ed my ass against the brick and he hit
me with his elbow. He’s six-foot-five and he caught me off guard and
knocked all of the air out of me and I was like, ‘Why?! Why?!’ I
really wanted to say how big and fat he was and that he runs like a
girl, but I didn’t because all I could say was, ‘Why?!’ Why’d he slam
me against the wall? We were rehearsing. What’s the bid deal? Why
can’t I call him names? If I can’t let it out it’s going to build like
a cancer.”

Executive Decision received mostly good reviews and was a hit at the
box office. Seagal was nominated for a Razzie for Worst Supporting
Actor.

Later that year, Seagal starred opposite Keenan Ivory Wayans in The
Glimmer Man. Reviews were negative and the movie flopped. Seagal’s
best days were officially behind him.

Seagal’s mouth was still getting him into all kinds of trouble. He
went around bragging that he would beat action rival Jean Claude Van
Damme in a fight.

Sylvester Stallone tells the story of the night Van Damme confronted
Seagal:

“I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in 96 or 97,
Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O
Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was
tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him
and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor
with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some
excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in
Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and
again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who
would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and
Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion.”

In 1997, Seagal starred in another environmentally themed action
movie, Fire Down Below (which sounds to me like a euphemism for an
unpleasant rash). Reviews were terrible and the movie flopped.
Seagal was nominated for another Razzie. He lost to Kevin Costner for
The Postman.

Around this time, Seagal found religion in the form of Buddhism. In
1997 Seagal’s teacher declared him a tulku. As part of his new
religion, Seagal decided he was no longer going to make violent action
movies. Apparently he thought audiences were paying to see his movies
for his acting ability.

Segal’s business partner, Jules Nasso, put together a four-picture
deal to keep Seagal in the action movie business. Nasso was connected
to the mob and his associates wanted the money they were promised.
They did not care that Seagal wanted to grow as an artist. They were
not satisfied with pacificst movies like 1998′s The Patriot. They
wanted the old action stat back.

Seagal repeatedly refused to make the action movies in Nasso’s four-
picture contract and their partnership gradually collapsed. In 2001,
Nasso sued Seagal for 60-million dollars for breach of contract.
Three months after Nasso filed suit, he was arrested for extortion
along with 16 other associates.

While the real life crime drama was unfolding, Seagal returned to
action movies in Exit Wounds which co-starred DMX and Eva Mendes. The
reviews were mostly negative, but the movie did well at the box
office. It was seen as a comeback for Seagal.

Seagal attempted to recapture that success in 2002 by starring
opposite another rapper (Ja Rule) in the action movie, Half Past
Dead. Reviews were terrible and the movie bombed. Seagal was
nominated for another Razzie.

By 2003, Seagal was starring in direct-to-video movies like The
Foreigner and Out for a Kill.

Meanwhile, Seagal was subpoenaed to testify against his former
business partner and his mob associates. The defense attorneys sought
to discredit Seagal as a “pathological liar” by asking him about his
ridiculous stories under oath. They questioned Seagal about an ex-con
who was hired on Seagal’s behalf to intimidate a reporter who was
covering Seagal’s alleged mob connections.

The reporter, Anita Busch, had found a dead fish with a rose in its
mouth on her punctured windshield. A note found under the fish said,
“STOP!” Alexander Proctor, the ex-con, had told an informant that
he’d been hired by P.I. to the stars, Anthony Pelicano, on behalf of
Seagal. “[Pelicano] wanted to make it look like the Italians were
putting the hit on her so it wouldn’t reflect on Seagal,” Proctor
said.

Seagal was asked about several other embarrassing incidents. He lost
his temper several times. He was asked to testify about a meeting he
had with his business partner and several mob bosses who tried to
persuade Seagal to work with them. Seagal had always portrayed the
meeting like something out of his movies claiming he was armed and
fearless. Under oath, he admitted with gritted teeth that he was
afraid for his life.

Since that time, Seagal released a staggering number of direct-to-
video action movies. As the star’s waistline continued to expand and
his hairline continued to recede, Seagal did less and less action. He
hides his girth behind enormous, loose-fitting costumes while stunt
doubles do all the fighting. Sometimes, he’s barely audible dialogue
is actually voice dubbed by another actor so as to be comprehensible.
And yet, enough people watch these movies that Seagal steadily
released two or more a year between 2003 and 2009.

In 2009, Seagal had the unlikeliest of come-backs in the form of the
A&E reality show, Steven Seagal: Lawman. The show follows Seagal as
he performs his duties as a reserve deputy sheriff in Jefferson
Parish, Louisiana. Seagal claims to be a certified law enforcer, but
no credentials have ever been provided. However, Seagal would not
necessarily need to be certified to act as a reserve deputy sheriff.

The show’s first season ran from 2009-2010. The second season started
in 2010 but was interrupted when a former personal assistant accused
Seagal of numerous crimes including sexual harassment. Kayden Nguyen
claimed that among other things, Seagal maintained a personal harem
and that he trafficked women for sex. She accused Seagal of keeping
two Russian women as prisoners to satisfy his sexual needs. She
claimed that Seagal intended her as a member of the harem.

Seagal’s attorney called Nguyen’s claims ridiculous. She sued Seagal
for one million dollars, but the lawsuit was later dropped. Season
three of the show was announced, but as of yet no dates have been set.

Anyone remember when A&E stood for Arts and Entertainment?

In 2010, Seagal returned briefly to the big screen as the bad guy in
Robert Rodriguez’s grindhouse homage, Machete.

In 2011, Seagal started appearing in a scripted cop show called True
Justice. The show first aired on a Spanish TV station called Nitro.
It aired in the US on ReelzChannel.

Seagal was the subject of another lawsuit related to Lawman. A
Phoenix resident sued Seagal and the show for manufacturing his arrest
for TV. The man was accused of breaking probation for a misdemeanor
violation of being present at a cock fight. So the Sheriff’s office
stormed his home with a tank, a bomb robot, and 40 deputies. Several
roosters and the family dog were killed in the raid.

In recent years, Seagal has become a regular in the mixed martial arts
scene where he is regularly mocked for wearing yellow glasses.
Sylvester Stallone has been courting him to appear in the aging action
hero series, The Expendables. But amazingly, Seagal keeps turning
Stallone down.

So, what the hell happened?

First of all, Seagal was never a talented actor to begin with. He was
a martial arts expert which is a good skill to have if you are an
action hero. But once Seagal stopped making action movies, he had no
talent to fall back on.

Second, Seagal got fat. Val Kilmer fat.

Even his mumus couldn’t hide the fact that Seagal looked more like a
sumo wrestler than a martial artist.

And then there was his hair.

Seagal was going bald in the 80′s. But decades later, the guy has a
widow’s peak that looks like industrial carpeting.

But it wasn’t just Seagal’s lack of talent and ridiculous appearance
that ended his career. Probably the biggest issue with Seagal was
that he was a grade-A asshole. Seagal was known for bullying everyone
around him. He frequently injured stuntmen who worked with him.
Seagal was infamous for kicking stuntmen in the groin to see if they
were wearing a cup. I have heard of Seagal hospitalizing guys with
stunts like this.

As we have seen before, when actors piss on everyone they pass on
their way up the ladder, no one is there to lend them a hand when they
inevitably fall. And no one pissed on more heads that Steven Seagal.

[Gernot Hassenpflug]

TMC <tmc...@gmail.com> writes:

> http://lebeauleblog.com/2013/05/15/what-the-hell-happened-to-steven-seagal/
>
> MAY 15
> Posted by lebeau
>

> Steven Seagal was a martial arts legend. Just ask him. /../

Very entertaining, makes me remember the quizzical expression on Abe
Seiseki sensei's face everytime someone asked him about Seagal's
training.

With those lack of credentials he could become president. He's already
fantastic at pissing people off. Whaddaguy.

I seem to have missed a few of his recent movies....
--
Gernot Hassenpflug
Aunkai

[Halmyre]

On May 17, 3:06 am, TMC <tmc1...@gmail.com> wrote:
> http://lebeauleblog.com/2013/05/15/what-the-hell-happened-to-steven-s...

>
> Sylvester Stallone tells the story of the night Van Damme confronted
> Seagal:
>
> “I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in 96 or 97,
> Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O
> Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was

Wow, all that testosterone in one room! And Don Johnson as well.

--
Halmyre

[Rabid Weasel Lawson]

On May 16, 10:06 pm, TMC <tmc1...@gmail.com> wrote:
> http://lebeauleblog.com/2013/05/15/what-the-hell-happened-to-steven-s...
>

> MAY 15
> Posted by lebeau
>
> Steven Seagal was a martial arts legend.  Just ask him.  If Seagal is
> to be believed, he has lived an action-packed life that would rival
> James Bond.  Seagal, a seventh degree black belt in aikido, rose from
> obscurity in the late 80′s to become one of Hollywood’s top-paid
> action stars in the 90′s.  Since then, Seagal has morphed into a
> walking fat joke.
>
> What the hell happened?

I'm struggling to care.

Wait... wait... almost... wait...

Nope. Don't care.

(IH)

[Fraser Johnston]

You haven't missed anything. Trust me.

--

Fraser