Val Kilmer: Angelina Jolie is 28th babe he's had this year
Benji Bronkster
ANGELINA FINALLY FINDS MR. RIGHT: VAL KILMER!
They've been keeping it quiet
Angelina Jolie has found love again -- with a superhero! After burning
through two marriages and a stack of boyfriends, Angelina Jolie has finally
found Mr. Right -- hunky, molefaced, "Batman Forever" cad Val Kilmer, say
pals.
The 29-year-old "Tomb Raider" beauty is spending almost all her free time
with 44-year-old Val, her co-star who banged her all during their stint in
the upcoming film "Alexander."
"Val thinks she's one of the most beautiful women in the world, until he
co-stars with his next actress" reveals a Hollywood insider. "And he
admires her role as a single mom, great boobs, hot lips, wet vaginal area,
and her work for the United Nations."
The two hit it off so well, they began discussing purchasing property,
making hot monkey love and moving in together.
"They both admire the relationships of Rosie O'Donnell, Jim McGreevey, and
Tom Cruise with Nicole Kidman -- committed people the 'M' (marriage)
word," revealed the insider.
THEY CLICKED
The two stars were introduced at early meetings for the movie last summer.
"Almost immediately, as soon as they rehearsed their kissing scenes, they
both clicked with one another," said the insider.
"Val and Angelina started spending time in bed but kept it very quiet.
"They were both staying, making love 4x a day, at the L'Ermitage hotel in
Beverly Hills and keeping company together but neither one was ready to go
public with their relationship."
When the cast flew to the set in Morocco, the romance got more intense --
they spent so much time having sex that the film went overbudget.
Amazingly, Val only had sex with 5 other women after filming ended.
"Angelina and Val went to London for postproduction work on the film. When
they weren't working on the movie, they spent all their free time entwined
together -- including romantic, alcohol fueled with ecstasy on the side
dinners at her place," revealed the insider.
One big reason the stars mesh so well is they are both devoted parents --
and love to talk about their kids (when not having intercourse with other
lovers).
Val has two children -- Mercedes, 12, and Jack, 9, with his ex-wife,
British actress Joanne Whalley, whom he made a hag out of and divorced in
1996. Angelina is a single mother to her adopted son Mad Ox, 3.
Besides romantic dinners, Angelina and Val took long walks through London's
beautiful parks, looking for women for possible threesomes. While walking
through Hyde Park, they stopped and propositioned several attractive
business women.
"Angelina and Val sat on a bench in the garden talking and holding hands.
The roses and other flowers were in full bloom and the fabulous scent of
their expensive pot filled the air," said the insider. "For Val and
Angelina, it was a sweet and tender time that brought them closer together
before Val went to "audition" (wink wink) more actresses for his next
film."
ANGELINA'S MEN
Angelina's been banged by a lot of eligible men -- most notably, Nicolas
Cage, Olivier Martinez, Gilbert Gottfried and Paul Reubens -- since her
breakup with ex-husband/milquetoast Billy Bob Thornton.
And since the breakup of Val's marriage to Joanne Whalley, the handsome
star has been spotted tonguekissing and feeling up about 700 beautiful
women including actresses Daryl Hannah and Penny Marshall.
"But Val told me, 'I'm in love with Angelina (this week). I think she's the
one for the next year,' " disclosed the insider.
The smitten actor even consulted Angelina's friend and former "Girl,
Interrupted" co-star Winona Ryder about the best way to strengthen the
relationship, then banged her silly.
"Val and Winona had dinner recently at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills -- and the
topic of conversation was Angelina before they went back to Winona's house
for "a nightcap!" revealed the insider.
Right now Val and Angelina are on different continents -- but they're
staying in touch by thinking about each other while enjoying the fruits of
their current co-stars.
STAYING IN TOUCH
Val had to return to California to begin rehearsals on his new play. He's
starring as Moses in "The Ten Commandments." Expect him to be seen with
his female co-stars in various stages of canoodling.
Angelina took off on a global goodwill tour, in honor of World Refugee Day.
While apart, the two stars are staying in close touch by phone. Angelina
will be back in Los Angeles shortly -- and the two are making plans to get
together assuming that Val doesn't get hit by a paternity suit by then,
disclosed the insider.
"As soon as they are in the same town together, their romance should take
off again, but probably not for long." -- ELLEN GOODSTEIN
Nonymous
"Benji Bronkster" <Bustin...@CushySternJob.com> wrote in message
news:9szTc.493$9n.2...@news4.srv.hcvlny.cv.net...
> Enquirer
"mole faced" "banged"? Sounds like a fake article.
doomella
"Nonymous" <no...@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:qJidnVnQvNo...@giganews.com...
Those are the only clues that tipped you off?
E. Jetsol
The fact that it was posted by Benji Bronkster who has been posting
photoshop doctored photos here should have been the biggest clue the
story was fake.
'Benji' needs to get spayed and/or neutered.
Tina
>making hot monkey love and moving in together.
>
>"They both admire the relationships of Rosie O'Donnell, Jim McGreevey, and
>Tom Cruise with Nicole Kidman -- committed people the 'M' (marriage)
>word," revealed the insider.
>
Admires Jim McGreevey? This story hadn't even broke until a couple days ago.
How could there have been enough time for them to discuss it? The guy is hardly
a role model for marriage considering her was cheating on his wife.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? They're not even married anymore.
What kind of role model are they?
I think this story is peppered with alot of bullshit.
::::::Tina::::::
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"I may disagree with what you say but I will defend, to the death, your right
to say it." - Voltaire
RogerM
Gilbert Gottfried? Penny Marshall?
--
sumbodygejjamalnasumnin
>admires her role as a single mom, great boobs, hot lips, wet vaginal area,
gee, I imagined her to be dry like a dessert and need lube
>The smitten actor even consulted Angelina's friend and former "Girl,
>Interrupted" co-star Winona Ryder about the best way to strengthen the
>relationship, then banged her silly
even though its a fake article, thats a funny line
D
what?.
Bateler33
so much better. Unfortunately, I now have the image of Val Kilmer boinking
Penny Marshall!
benrand
Jeezis...
Sara
How about how he likes her "wet vaginal area"? I'm sured he mentions
that to just everyone!
sunshine
> OMG that was so funny! I read the original article first, but liked this one
> so much better. Unfortunately, I now have the image of Val Kilmer boinking
> Penny Marshall!
oK SO i'M like A huge angelina and val fan and maybe it's because I've
downed more than one corona, BUT THAT ARTICLE WAS SOO FUNNY.i HOPE
THEY REALLY ARE DATING THOUGH
