Stuttering John questions

[umo]

Ringo Starr:
"What did you do with the money your mom gave you for singing
lessons?"

Paul McCartney:
"What's the most girls you've had in bed at once?"

ZZ Top:
"Do you guys ever throw up and get big chunks in your beards?"
"Since you look Jewish, why don't you call yourselves ZZ Dreidel?"
"In a pinch, would you wipe with your beard?"

James Brown:
"When you do a split, do you bang your testicles on the floor?"

Marlo Thomas:
"Do you and Phil still get horney for each other?"

Ted Williams:
"Did you ever accidentally fart in the catcher's face?"

Imelda Marcos:
"If you pass gas at home in front of others, do you blame the family
dog?"

Warren Beatty:
"Did you forget to pull out with Annette Bening?"

Chevy Chase:
"Do you read the scripts of the movies you choose to make, or do you
go, "Eenie mennie minie moe?""

Connie Chung:
"Who's fault is it that you can't get pregnant?"

Cindy Crawford:
"Does your gynecologist send you love letters?"

Geena Davis:
"Were you Thelma or Louise?"

Phil Donahue:
"Did you ever use your glasses to burn ants by pointing them at the
sun?"

Bob Dylan:
"How does it feel to be on your own, like a complete unknown, like a
rolling stone?"

Frank Gifford:
"Does your son ever accidentally call you "grandpa"?"

Arsenio Hall:
"Are you mad at your dentist?"

Michael Jackson:
"Did you learn how to walk backwards to avoid your father's punches?"

Rush Limbaugh:
"Are you called Rush because you're in a rush to eat?"

Eddie Murphy:
"Now that you've conquered comedy, acting, and music, will you become
a brain surgeon?"

Luciano Pavarotti:
"Ever fart while belting out a high note?"

Regis Philbin:
"Don't you wish Kathie Lee would sink on one of those Carnival Boats?"

Sly Stallone:
"Do you think that headband on your mother's head was placed there by
space aliens?"

Barbra Streisand:
"Are people who need people really the luckiest people in the world?"

Dr. Ruth Westheimer:
"Is it possible to be in love with a girl and her dog at the same
time?"

Bruce Willis:
"What is disappearing quicker, the ozone or your hair?"
“Will you dump Demi when she gets dumpy?”

Liz Taylor:
"Was selling perfume one of your career goals?"

Mr. Rogers:
"Would you like to machine-gun Barney?"

Ivana Trump:
"How many rooms in the Plaza did you think Donald cheated on you in?"

Dick Clark:
"Did you ever consider making love to the teenage girls on American
Bandstand?"

Jimmy Connors:
"Don't you think Steffi Graf has great legs and a collie's face?"
"When you dated Chris Evert, which one of you wore the bag?"
"Don't you think that Ivan Lendl looks like Igor from the other side
of the net?"
"When you get older, will you have someone help you over the net?"

Leona Helmsley:
"Where's the craziest place you and your husband have made love?"

Martina Navratilova:
"Do you hate bananas?"

Paul Newman:
"Does driving a car really fast give you an erection?"

Oliver North:
"Did you ever have a nightmare where your penis got caught in a paper
shredder?"

Liz Smith:
"How many cows did it take to make your leather jacket?"

Bea Arthur:
"What Hollywood star would you like to nail most?"

Tommy Lasorda:
"How much do you want to bet that Pete Rose is gambling again?"

Mike Wallace:
"How can you be so old and still have pimples?"

Leonard Nimoy:
"Is your penis pointed like your ears?"

Montel Williams:
"Didn't you steal my car?"

Raquel Welch:
"Are they drooping yet?"

Burt Reynolds:
"What's the closest you've been to Dom DeLuise when he cut the
cheese?"

Conan O'Brien:
"Are women turned on by red pubic hair?"

Jewel:
"Are they real or implants?"

Tom Hanks:
"Do you think of Rosie O'Donnell to prolong the sexual act?"

Michael J. Fox:
"Are you a member of the Lollipop Guild?"

Samuel L. Jackson:
"Do you think Spike Lee is an embarrasment to movie directors
everywhere?"

Katie Couric:
"Do you think there's anyone more arrogant than Bryant Gumble?"

Snoop Doggie Dog:
"You're a millionaire, what are you so angry about?"

Richard Dreyfuss:
"Do you have grey pubic hair?"

Harrison Ford:
"Do you have the biggest schlong in Hollywood?"

Michael Caine:
"When you kissed Christopher Reeve in Death Trap, did you get turned
on?"
"Did Sir Laurence Olivier ever hit on you?"

Martina Navratilova:
"Would you ever consider making it with a guy?"

Peter Jennings:
"Does Diane Sawyer give you a chubby?"

Ed O'Bannon (basketball player):
"Would you ever give mouth-to-mouth to Magic Johnson?"

Kathleen Turner:
"Have you ever farted in your hand and smelled it?"

Yogi Berra:
"Did anyone ever get laid in the dugout?"

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar:
"Who's the best white guy you ever played against?"
"Why did you change your name form Lew Alcindor to something as stupid
as Karrem Abdul-Jabbar?"

Andre Previn:
"Why is everyone so afraid to bad mouth that cradle robbing Woody
Allen?"

James Earl Jones:
"Do people ever confuse you with James Earl Ray?"
"How much do you get paid to say "CNN"?"
"Would you let your kids sleep unsupervised in a room with Michael
Jackson?"

Leslie Nielson:
"Do you have white pubic hair?"

Gregory Hines:
"Did Sammy ever take his eye out and show it to you?"

Rusty Staub (New York Mets legend):
"Who got hit in the face with more balls - Yogi Berra or Rock Hudson?"
Al Franken:
"What was the bigger disaster, Bill (John meant to say Dick Morris,
the disgraced Senator) Morris or "Stuart Saves His Family?"

James Lovell (Apollo 13 astronaut):
"Which one of the astronauts had the biggest penis?"
“How did you go to the bathroom in your space suit?”

Anne Curry (NBC News anchor):
"Does Matt Lauer make you hot?"

Fred Gwynne:
"Do you sign you pictures "Fred Gwynne" or "Herman Munster?"

Billy Ray Cyrus:
"Which Judd would you rahter have sex with, the fat one or the dying
one?"
"Who would you rahter be trapped on a desert island with, J. Edgar
Hoover or Raymond Burr?"

Kurt Russell: (asked at the a post Grammy bash):
"Don't you think it's time they stop giving Bonnie Raitt so may
friggin' awards?"
"What gender is Tracy Chapman?"

Raul Julia:
"Don't you think that Johnny Carson looks like the cryptkeeper from
"Tales of the Crypt"?

Johnnie Cochran:
"Would you represent Hitler for the right price?"

Walter Cronkite:
"Are you here at this event because you care about the rain forest or
because your publicist thinks it's a good idea?"
"What did William Daley do that was friggin' important?" (John meant
to say Paley, not Daley; he of course was the founder of CBS)
"Would you ever co-anchor with Howard Stern?"
"Have you ever passed wind during a newscast?"
"Why didn't your network report JFK smoked pot in the White House and
nailed Marilyn Monroe?"

Larry Thomas ("Soup Nazi" actor from Seinfeld):
"Where will you be serving food now that Seinfeld is going off the
air?"

Alec Baldwin:
"Are you jealous of a certain rock star that wears purple?"

Joey Adams (now deceased husband of gossip columnist Cindy Adams):
"When was the last time you saw Halley's Comet?"

Former New York Governer Mario Cuomo:
"Who's the bigger leech, Yoko Ono or Tom Arnold?"

David Dinkins:
"Do you sleep on a sponge since you sweat so much?"

Kirk Douglas:
"When you worked with Farrah Fawcett, did you see her naked?"

Magic Johnson:
"Aren't you supposed to be dead by now?"

David Letterman:
"When you kiss a girl, does her tongue ever get caught in that big
space?"
"Is your mother on Prozac or is she always smiling like that?"
"Do you wear white socks even with a tuxedo?"
"Do you know that your hair looks like a map of Italy?"

Jack Nicholson:
"Since your sister is really your mother, do you send her a Mother's
Day card?"
"Did you ever do coke with Belushi?"

Bruce Willis:
"Will you dump Demi when she gets dumpy?"

Penny Marshall:
"Do you think Howard Stern is singlehandledly saving the planet?"

NY Jets Keyshawn Johnson:
"Do you ever fart in the team therapy tub?"

Claudia Schiffer:
"Who's smarter, Christie Brinkley or Forrest Gump?"

Billy Crystal:
"How many years were you married before you cheated on your wife?"
"Why can't Martin Short get arrested?"
"Isn't it ironic that Mr. Saturday Night closed on Saturday
afternoon?"

Alec Baldwin:
"Genital-wise, who's the biggest Baldwin?"
"Did you ever play Butt Bongo with Kim?"
"Do you ever look at the stains in Kim's underwear?"

Regis Philbin:
"Do you have F.U. money?"
"If Kathie Lee sucks, say 'What?"
"Do you still beat your wife?"

Kate Pierson (B-52's singer):
"Who do you think has a better figure, Kate Moss or a 12-year-old
boy?"
'How much would it cost you to do lesbian photos for a magazine?"

Barbara Walters:
"Should people who talk like Elmer Fudd pursue careers in
broadcasting?'
"How do you stay awake sitting next to Hugh Downs on 20/20?"
"Will you ever do a show on entering menopause?"
'Have you ever had sex with any of the people you've interviewed?"

Tom Brokaw:
"Can you say "red leather, yellow leather"?"
"Are there news groupies?"
"Has anyone ever asked you if you're gay?"

Peter Jennings:
"Were you ever sexually attracted to your sister?"

Phil Donahue:
'Does it bother you that no-talents like Ricki Lake are ripping off
the format you created?"
"Are women easier to deal with after menopause?'
"Do you pray Oprah will eat until she explodes?"

Andrew Lloyd Webber:
"Why do you think so many Broadway dancers are gay?"

Laurence Fishburne:
"Did you enjoy beating up the actress who played Tina Turner?"
"Why does Spike Lee make such awful movies?"

Kathleen Turner:
"What was the bigger disaster, the Oklahoma bombing or The Man With
Two Brains?"
"Is Michael Douglas big in the lap?"

Maria-Conchita Alonzo:
"Are you Rosie Perez?"
"Do you have a green card?"
"Why do Spanish men love big asses?"

Carol Burnett:
"Are you upset that you're unemployed and that Ellen DeGeneres is a
superstar?"

Matthew Broderick:
"How do you succeed in business without trying?"

Paul Sorvino:
"Has Woody Allen lost his mind?"
"What are the odds that John Travolta will ever star in another decent
movie?"
"Should anal sex be legalized everywhere?"

Dan Rather:
"Do you check after you're done wiping?"

Raul Julia:
"Don't you think it's sad that Mary Wells died of cancer and Ice-T is
still alive?"

Anthony Quinn:
"Which would you prefer, someone to pick your nose or someone to suck
your ear wax out with a straw?"

Marsha Mason:
"What did Neil Simon look like naked?"

Elizabeth Ashley (stage, screen and TV actress):
"Do you allow yourself to be photographed during your period?"

Todd Solontz (Director “Happiness”, “Welcome to the Dollhouse”)
"Have you ever had a gay experience?"

George Foreman:
"Have you ever pictured your wife's face on a guy you were beating
up?"

Steve Martin:
"Does Goldie Hawn's ass look that great in person?"
"Do Bernadette Peters' breasts really look that good?"

Larry King:
"Why couldn't you get it up for Marilyn Chambers?"
"Isn't it time for you to propose?"
"When you have a problem on the air, like you have to burp or fart, do
you use the ‘cough’ button?"

Chevy Chase:
"Are you still wearing your toupee?"
"How long do you think it will be before Dan Ackroyd explodes?"
"Were you high when you said you'd beat David Letterman?"
"Did you ever think you'd see the day that Garrett Morris is more
happening than you?"
"Do you tell your kids that you're an accountant or do you tell them
the ugly truth?"
"Does it bother you that not only did you fail, but that nobody knows
or cares that you failed?"

Tommy LaSorda:
"Why do baseball players grab their crotches so much?"
"Are you upset that those lousy Canadians won the World Series?"
"Do you ever have to ask your players to refrain from sex before a big
game?"

General William Westmoreland (the Schwarzkopf of Vietnam):
"If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman but your
wife, who would it be?"

[The Lone Wolf]

>Cindy Crawford:
"Does your gynecologist send you love letters?">

Great question. Her answer was priceless. "No, she doesn't." She was so
pissed.

--
As a single slab of rock won't budge in the wind, so the wise are not moved
by praise, or by blame.

[Park Luck]

Ahh, those were the days...

evan

[jrme...@panix.com]

Memories...

[Haiba King]

Excellent job on the list! Last night I found on old tape from the
summer of 1990 when John went to a celebrity softball game (where
some of your questions originally took place).
I have to add to your list the following:

With John Amos ("Good Times"):

S.J. : Why do they even bother to put hair and eye color on Chinese driver's
licenses?
John Amos: (thoughtful pause) How the fuck would I know? (pause) How
the fuck did you get this job anyways? Uh-dah-dah-dah-dah!"

And the Margot Kidder interview:

S.J. : Did you know that Tyne Daly is married to a black man?

Margot: (quizically) Yeah?

S.J. : Does that bother you?

[umo]

DALI LAMA:
I asked him: "Do people come up to you & say hello dali?"

TOM HANKS:
" Was Daryl Hannah blonde all over?

TED WILLIAMS:
"Have you ever farted in the catcher's face?"

MARC CHRISTIAN: The ex-lover of Rock Hudson.
Who got hit in the chin with more balls: Yogi Berra or Rock Hudson?

BURT REYNOLDS:
"Are there too many jews in hollywood?"

[Chicago Laura]

Great list! Thanks! I actually printed it out. Full of laughs. The first
question is one of my all time favorites. He set Ringo up perfectly asking
him simply,"What did you do with the money?" and of course Ringo said,"What
money??"

Laura