'Jeff the Drunk' finds new life with Stern
HOOHOO
Paul Grondahl
Albany Times Union
Dec. 19, 2005 03:41 PM
BERNE, N.Y. - Jeff Curro is disabled, in his 30s and lives with his mother
in a trailer park.
He was filled with self-loathing, working menial jobs and scraping by on a
$500 monthly disability check.
That was before he hooked up with Howard Stern, before the rollicking,
expletive-laced tales of a visit to the Playboy Mansion; of singing an
on-air duet of "Always on My Mind" with Willie Nelson; of frolicking with a
pair of porn stars in Stern's penthouse suite at the Hard Rock Hotel &
Casino in Las Vegas. advertisement
Meet the new Jeff Curro, Stern's emblem of excess, aka "Jeff The Drunk."
It began four years ago when Curro called Stern's radio show and was
introduced to millions of the shock jock's fans. Unlike folks who had
shunned him, Curro says Stern's fans embraced him, disabilities and all.
Now a regular guest on Stern's show and a member of a clutch of loonies
known as "the Wack Pack," Curro enjoys the benefits of celebrity beyond his
wildest dreams.
Almost-famous for his ability to become spectacularly inebriated before
appearing on the radio show, Curro is riding a wave of publicity with Stern.
Now, as Stern makes the move to the Sirius satellite radio network on Jan. 9
as part of an unprecedented $500 million, five-year deal, Curro and his
fellow Wack Packers will follow the "King of All Media" into a new
dimension.
"I had nothing before Howard," says Curro, 37, as he relaxes in his bedroom
at one end of his mother's double-wide trailer in Berne. His bedroom walls
are plastered with autographed glossies of celebrities, from country music
stars to porn stars. The bed is neatly made and the room is tidy.
He is clad in flannel boxer shorts, black snow moccasins, a black cowboy hat
and a T-shirt that reads: "I Don't Have A Drinking Problem. I Drink. I Get
Drunk. I Fall Down ... No Problem."
"People recognize me everywhere I go and yell out my name. That's all
because of Howard," he says as he chain-smokes Marlboros and bluish-gray
smoke envelopes his room.
"Howard makes us all laugh and forget our troubles," says Mariann Tepedino,
better known to Stern fans as "Mariann from Brooklyn."
Mariann and Jeff The Drunk have become fast friends, ever since they sang a
karaoke duet on the show.
They plan to meet in Manhattan before dawn Friday and to attend the final
show and parade together.
Nothing much went right for Curro after a car crash during his junior year
at Berne-Knox-Westerlo High School in October 1986. He was riding with two
buddies, headed for a Friday night party, when the vehicle went out of
control on a country road in Berne and flipped several times.
The crash left Curro in a coma, with a broken neck and back. Surgeons
performed a tracheotomy.
"We almost lost him," recalls his mother, Delores Curro. "I prayed and
prayed. I thank God we got him back."
Months of rehab helped Curro regain a small part of what he lost.
He finally graduated from Berne-Knox-Westerlo in 1988. "At the tender age of
21," Curro says, cackling at his own joke.
But his pre-accident career plan to become a carpenter was dashed.
Over the years, Curro opened mail at the state Department of Taxation and
Finance. He sold parking tickets and stamped hands for swimmers at Thacher
Park.
Today, his lifeless right arm is held in place with a sling. His throat is
scarred from the trach tube. He moves with a herky-jerky gait. His left eye
is out of alignment, giving him a walleyed expression. His speech is
slightly slurred and marked by phlegmy wheezing.
In Stern's shadow, Curro has discovered a newfound sense of self-worth,
albeit twisted. He's emerging as a kind of carnival sideshow entertainer of
the airwaves, a transformation that has left him estranged from some family
members.
"I think they're jealous," Curro says.
Curro's brother lives just across a dirt lane, but the two rarely speak.
Relatives have told Curro they're embarrassed by what they consider his
demeaning performances.
He's shouted expletives at women. He has vomited, fallen down in the streets
of Manhattan and passed out after consuming more than a dozen shots of
liquor.
Jeff The Drunk's debauchery was videotaped and later broadcast on the radio
show and on an E! cable TV version of Stern's show.
Yet Jeff The Drunk's biggest fan is his mother, Delores. The 68-year-old
woman moved slowly about their nicely furnished home with a walker. She's
recovering from a broken hip and a stroke.
"I love Jeff. He's my baby," she says about the youngest of her eight kids.
She doesn't listen to Howard Stern, but she and Curro watch TV together and
share a passion for the Yankees.
With his one good arm, Curro drives her in his car, shops for groceries,
fixes their meals and cleans the trailer. She receives a Social Security
check.
Delores Curro claims her son is not a big drinker. The refrigerator is
devoid of beer this day, which Jeff chalks up to a temporary cash-flow
problem.
"They like to have him drunk for the show and I don't like that, but he
doesn't seem to mind," she says.
Her son recently recorded a CD of karaoke standards titled "Jeff The Drunk
Takes Manhattan."
For his appearances on the Stern show, Curro drives a '91 Chevy Lumina (a
gift from a fan) to the train or bus station.
He has a Sirius subscription and satellite radios in his car and bedroom
(more gifts from fans). Stern and the show's cast also slip him some cash.
Curro already has a slot at Sirius. He's begun taping segments for "Meet the
Shrink"with Dr. Ellen McGrath in which the psychotherapist analyzes Curro
for listeners.
"I think I'm hideous. The way I look. My arm's dead. I'm overweight. I'm
losing my hair. I'm 37 and living at home," Curro tells McGrath in a
recently taped segment.
Back in the Hilltowns, Curro faces the fate of a prophet in his own land.
"He's just an ordinary customer. He's not a celebrity here," says the
manager at M&B's Stop & Shop, a Berne convenience mart where Curro buys his
beer.
"It's a two-way street," Curro says as he blows smoke rings. He pauses and
gives his trademark wink with a double-click of his tongue. "I don't feel
used by Howard. I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't have any of this without
Howard."
notsob
lab~rat
>
>BERNE, N.Y. - Jeff Curro is disabled, in his 30s and lives with his mother
>in a trailer park.
>
>He was filled with self-loathing, working menial jobs and scraping by on a
>$500 monthly disability check.
Damn, that describes most of the asslickers here...
--
lab~rat >:-)
Do you want polite or do you want sincere?
Diane aka Whatever
Doc. Apparently Hman has 2 fans .. Jeff the Drunk and MaryAnn [ nails on a
chalkboard ] from Brooklyn. Hell yeah that is newsworthy .. And how
pathetic is it that the Hmus News Report has to come here to print news
about Stern .. Come to the 99% Stern Hater Newsgroup to catch the 1%ers
before they get pulled to the OTHER SIDE ... PATHETIC BOYS !!! Post that
crap somewhere .. anywhere .. but if you post it here, it will be laughed
at.
Diane
"HOOHOO" <H...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:I7_pf.16666$k76....@bignews6.bellsouth.net...
Pariah
news:yMGdnTaFAZ8oWTTe...@fdn.com:
> All that is missing [ maybe it isn't ] is a blurb about his OTHER fan
> .. Doc. Apparently Hman has 2 fans .. Jeff the Drunk and MaryAnn [
> nails on a chalkboard ] from Brooklyn.
What about Double-A? He's Howard's most reliable ass-licking "house
negro" and unpaid employee.
The reason JTD, Double-A, and Maryann are the only fans you hear, is
obviously NOT because they're talented, or even good on the radio. It's
because they're PREDICTABLE. Howard can reach over and press the big red
"ASSLICK" button anytime he needs to during the show.
God forbid an actual listener gets through, with the ability to think on
his own... those guys are far too unpredictable. But, just in case, Howard
plans to debut the first censoring button in the history of satellite
radio.
Poor Doc. He asslicks just as hard as the others, but his act is still too
weak to make it on the air. How does it feel to actually be inferior to
Double-A, Doc?
Šļā?é åka Je?ļTch
even got a shitty interview show with Hman's whore. Mariann and Doc are
both pitiful. All their worship [or asskissing in the case of Doc] Doc
isn't THAT stupid, he knows stern sucks, he just refuses to say it [mking
him look stupid] and continues the praise and shrine in hopes Hman will one
day, toss him a bone. and Hman never throws them any cash .. Wondering why
they aren't asking .. "wheres my xbox, 500 bucks from that online casino ..
watch from the jeweler ... where is my job at your new station .. WHATS
WRONG WITH ME?? I KISS YOUR ASS AS MUCH AS DOUBLE A DOES?" Let me help you
both out .. you know .. a little advice for the future .. Hmus demands MUCH
MORE "shes so hottts" from his assmuncher ... without it .. you are just a
fan .. REPEAT AfTER ME ...
BUTTMUNCHERS SAY "SO HOTTTTTT" and get paid
FANS kiss a lot of ass .. munch a lot of ass .. but forget to end each call
or start each call with "Beth is so hott." AND GET NOTHING FOR IT !!! No
money, no free anything .. and no entertainment ..
Diane
"Pariah" <par...@foo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9733AB198EC...@130.81.64.196...