Top 20 Lines from the Andy Dick Roast
Ra
Which comic had your favorite line?
#20
"Andy, it's like you don't even care. At least Artie THINKS he's doing good work."
- Colin Quinn
#19
"Artie's got a DVD called 'It's the Whiskey Talking".
If the whiskey could really talk, it would say;
'Hey ya fat fuck, how about writing a new joke already?' "
- Sal
#18
"I don't know what's gayer, getting your balls licked,
licking someone's balls, or paying to watch someone's balls get licked.
It's all Gay. You're all Gay."
-Andy Dick
#17
"I'm serious Artie. You are 10 pounds and a tube top away
from being raped at the Puerto Rican Day Parade."
- Dave Attell
#16
"Richard Christie said that licking a man's balls is just 'great comedy'.
If that's the case, then Andy Dick is Groucho Marx."
- Greg Fitzsimmons
#15
"Look at her, she's transformed herself.
Lisa's gone from really fat and ugly,
to sort of fat and ugly."
- Benjy
#14
"Howard, you said you feel bad for Paul McCartney, wait 'til half your money
goes to a poodle shelter, ya dumb fuck."
- Shuli
#13
"Andy, I'm not saying you're Gay but I hear you were
rushed to the hospital to have 2 liters of cum pumped INTO your stomach."
- Dave Attell
#12
"Robin I think you should take up tennis. That way, you can hear your name
and the word Love, in the same sentence."
- Lisa Lampanelli
#11
"Yucko, I saw your MTV show, the Virginia Tech shooter got more laughs."
- Dave Attell
#10
"When I was told we're roasting a pill popping, cock sucking, cum guzzling,
assfisting faggot, I thought; 'we're roasting Ralph twice?' "
- Shuli
#9
"Andy's not totally gay, he loves eating pussy.
Yeah, right after a guy shoots a load into it."
- Bob Levy
#8
"I wish Andy was my Dad. Imagine how cool that would be.
Andy finds your stash, gives you the drug lecture on it,
then offers to suck your cock for it."
- Shuli
#7
"Artie, I hear you've been doing some acting lately
and I hear you're up for a big part in the Anna Nicole movie.
You will be playing the Island she died on."
- Dave Attell
#6
"Lisa Lampanelli's vagina is so big you could split into
East Vagina, West Vagina, South Vagina, etc...
and still have enough left over to make a catcher's mitt."
- Greg Fitzsimmons
#5
"Andy, how the fuck did you get a woman pregnant?
What, were you spooning and cum leaked out of your ass?"
- Sal
#4
"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
- Yucko
#3
"I know you guys think she's Black but Robin is SO White.
Robin rides horses, she boats, she races cars,
she reads, she eats with utensils, she wipes."
- Benjy
#2
"Robin's cunt looks like Bob Marley eating a pastrami sandwich in a cave."
- Andy Dick
#1
"Andy Dick's asshole has been fingered more than Eddie Van Halen's guitar."
- Bob Levy
--
regards,
Ra
http://thrilltone.com
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"Ra" <r...@wwsd.biz> wrote in message news:F0I2i.27
> Which comic had your favorite line?
> #17
> "I'm serious Artie. You are 10 pounds and a tube top away
> from being raped at the Puerto Rican Day Parade."
> - Dave Attell
> #5
benrrrrrrrrand, esq
>"Robin's cunt looks like Bob Marley eating a pastrami sandwich in a cave."
>- Andy Dick
That one is pretty good.
Schwoogie Johnson
>
>Which comic had your favorite line?
>
>#14
>"Howard, you said you feel bad for Paul McCartney, wait 'til half your money
>goes to a poodle shelter, ya dumb fuck."
>- Shuli
That's great!
--
Opie & Anthony #6, Howard Stern #12, Talkers Heavy Hundred 2007
http://www.talkers.com/main/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19&Itemid=44
Howard Stern #13, Opie & Anthony #15, NewsMax 25 Most Influential Talk Radio Hosts 2006
http://www.newsmax.com/talkradio/
Ra
"Robin's Gunt" wrote
>> #15
>> "Look at her, she's transformed herself.
>> Lisa's gone from really fat and ugly,
>> to sort of fat and ugly."
>> - Benjy
> They let Benjy talk? How the fuck did that happen?
He was doing pretty good for most of his act.
He started to lose it and then made matters worse,
by having to be practically dragged off the stage.
Pretty fine job for his first Roast though.
lab~rat >:-)
>
>Which comic had your favorite line?
>
>#18
>"I don't know what's gayer, getting your balls licked,
>licking someone's balls, or paying to watch someone's balls get licked.
>It's all Gay. You're all Gay."
>-Andy Dick
Or paying to LISTEN to someone's balls get licked.
>#4
>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>- Yucko
>
That's pretty good.
--
lab~rat >:-)
Do you want polite or do you want sincere?
Ra
>>Which comic had your favorite line?
>>#4
>>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>>- Yucko
> That's pretty good.
It's kinda funny that Yucko is usually telling filthier jokes than anyone
but in the Roast, everyone elses jokes are brutal
and Yucko's Top 10 joke was the cleanest of the bunch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
Go place your vote there.
Only 1 person voted so far and Yucko got a 1/2 vote
Drumrboy
> "lab~rat >:-)" wrote
>
>>>Which comic had your favorite line?
>
>>>#4
>>>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>>>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>>>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>>>- Yucko
>
>> That's pretty good.
>
>
>
> It's kinda funny that Yucko is usually telling filthier jokes than
> anyone but in the Roast, everyone elses jokes are brutal
> and Yucko's Top 10 joke was the cleanest of the bunch
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>
>
> Go place your vote there.
> Only 1 person voted so far and Yucko got a 1/2 vote
>
Thats because all 1.5 million Hoo Hoo fans are buay voting for Sanjaya.
Oh, wait.
Nevermind. Carry on.....
Jeremy>
Ra
"Drumrboy" wrote
>>>>#4
>>>>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>>>>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>>>>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>>>>- Yucko
>>> That's pretty good.
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>> Only 1 person voted so far and Yucko got a 1/2 vote
> Thats because all 1.5 million Hoo Hoo fans are buay voting for Sanjaya.
I see.
Maybe you could share the Top Ten Lines from today's O&A Show,
so we can all enjoy some REAL entertainment?
I'll wait...
Schwoogie Johnson
>"lab~rat >:-)" wrote
>
>>>Which comic had your favorite line?
>
>>>#4
>>>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>>>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>>>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>>>- Yucko
>
>> That's pretty good.
>
>
>
>It's kinda funny that Yucko is usually telling filthier jokes than anyone
>but in the Roast, everyone elses jokes are brutal
>and Yucko's Top 10 joke was the cleanest of the bunch
>
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>
>
>Go place your vote there.
>Only 1 person voted so far and Yucko got a 1/2 vote
Most of what you included were the typical hack roast jokes. Insert Artie's name
into generic fat joke. Insert whoever the fags are into generic gay joke. Insert
unfunny guy's name into "this tragedy got more laughs" joke.
Bo-ring.
Ra
>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
> Most of what you included were the typical hack roast jokes. Insert Artie's name
> into generic fat joke. Insert whoever the fags are into generic gay joke. Insert
> unfunny guy's name into "this tragedy got more laughs" joke.
> Bo-ring.
"Robin's cunt looks like Bob Marley, eating a pastrami sandwich, in a cave."
"Andy's asshole gets fingered more than Eddie Van Halen's guitar."
Great stuff
Drumrboy
news:Vz03i.315$2L....@bignews3.bellsouth.net:
>
> "Drumrboy" wrote
>
>>>>>#4
>>>>>"I went to the video store and rented Beer League the other night.
>>>>>I said 'when do I have to bring this back' and they said
>>>>>'don't fuckin' worry about it'."
>>>>>- Yucko
>
>>>> That's pretty good.
>
>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>
>>> Only 1 person voted so far and Yucko got a 1/2 vote
>
>
>
>> Thats because all 1.5 million Hoo Hoo fans are buay voting for
>> Sanjaya.
>
>
>
> I see.
> Maybe you could share the Top Ten Lines from today's O&A Show,
> so we can all enjoy some REAL entertainment?
Listen for yourself. What am I? Your parrot?
> I'll wait...
Yes, you will.
As long as you're waiting, do you know how to keep a retard in suspense?
I'll tell you later.
Jeremy>
Ra
"Drumrboy" wrote
>> Maybe you could share the Top Ten Lines from today's O&A Show,
>> so we can all enjoy some REAL entertainment?
>> I'll wait...
> Listen for yourself. What am I? Your parrot?
No, my parrot's pretty smart.
I showed you mine.
Schwoogie Johnson
>"Schwoogie Johnson" wrote
>
>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>
>
>> Most of what you included were the typical hack roast jokes. Insert Artie's name
>> into generic fat joke. Insert whoever the fags are into generic gay joke. Insert
>> unfunny guy's name into "this tragedy got more laughs" joke.
>> Bo-ring.
>
>"Robin's cunt looks like Bob Marley, eating a pastrami sandwich, in a cave."
>
>"Andy's asshole gets fingered more than Eddie Van Halen's guitar."
>
>
>Great stuff
They're OK. Both sound pretty dated, though. Don't these people update their
jokes?
Ra
> They're OK. Both sound pretty dated, though. Don't these people update their
> jokes?
They're new to me.
"When I was told we're roasting a pill popping, cock sucking, cum guzzling,
assfisting faggot, I thought; 'we're roasting Ralph twice?' "
"I'm serious Artie. You are 10 pounds and a tube top away
from being raped at the Puerto Rican Day Parade."
"Howard, you said you feel bad for Paul McCartney, wait 'til half your money
goes to a poodle shelter, ya dumb fuck."
--
maggot
>
> Which comic had your favorite line?
>
We know Artie's heroes,
John Belushi
Jackie Gleeson
Chicken parmesan
- Shuli
lab~rat >:-)
>"Schwoogie Johnson" wrote
>
>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>
>
>> Most of what you included were the typical hack roast jokes. Insert Artie's name
>> into generic fat joke. Insert whoever the fags are into generic gay joke. Insert
>> unfunny guy's name into "this tragedy got more laughs" joke.
>> Bo-ring.
>
>"Robin's cunt looks like Bob Marley, eating a pastrami sandwich, in a cave."
Bob Marley's been dead for 25 years.
>
>"Andy's asshole gets fingered more than Eddie Van Halen's guitar."
EVH probably hasn't fingered a guitar in months.
>Great stuff
Yeah, if you're an old fart like we are...
Ra
"lab~rat >:-)" wrote
>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_hk7PNYvqQ#GU5U2spHI_4
>>> Most of what you included were the typical hack roast jokes.
> Bob Marley's been dead for 25 years.
> EVH probably hasn't fingered a guitar in months.
You are picking at irrelevent details.
In any joke, the vital part is to instantly convey an image,
so that the listener isn't distracted from what follows.
This is crucial to everyone 'getting it'.
Regardless of when their prime may have been, no two better choices could be made
for the image of a wild tangled nappy bush,
or someone frantically manipulating Andy Dick's asshole.
The jokes are great, because everyone, regardless of age,
instantly knows the references.
ALL jokes are based on the structure of some prior comedians work.
Their quality is based on how well the sculptor fits the current situation into that framework,
along with his delivery and other subtle factors.
I reject your prejudiced arguments.
lab~rat >:-)
Schwoogie Johnson
The weren't bad jokes, and they were better when I heard them than when I read
them (no offense). They just weren't great jokes. The Bob Marley joke is a
generic hairy black muff joke, and the Van Halen one would work for any gay guy.
Shuli's joke about the poodle shelter had a couple layers to it, and he can't
use it again at the next roast about someone else.
Ra
"Schwoogie Johnson" wrote
> the Van Halen one would work for any gay guy.
So fucking what?
You are just one of those pitiful people whose whole existance
consists of trying to shit on everything.
You are one of those despicable whiners
who tramples all the flowers in the garden,
while absorbed in a frantic hissy fit to point out a few weeds.
Do yourself a favor and kill yourself
Schwoogie Johnson
>
>"Schwoogie Johnson" wrote
>
>> the Van Halen one would work for any gay guy.
>
>
>So fucking what?
>
>You are just one of those pitiful people whose whole existance
>consists of trying to shit on everything.
>
>You are one of those despicable whiners
>who tramples all the flowers in the garden,
>while absorbed in a frantic hissy fit to point out a few weeds.
>
>Do yourself a favor and kill yourself
Calm down, you moody spaz. You brought it up and asked for input. I would have
never heard any of the shit otherwise.