Where have all the Gooners gone - long time pass wind . . . . ?

[Nemo]

Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!

[Ivan D. Reid]

On Sun, 08 Mar 2015 07:35:45 +0000, Nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
wrote in <lZSKw.1013083$551....@fx43.am4>:

> Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!

Nobody here but us chickens!

--
Ivan Reid, School of Engineering & Design, _____________ CMS Collaboration,
Brunel University. Ivan.Reid@[brunel.ac.uk|cern.ch] Room 40-1-B12, CERN
KotPT -- "for stupidity above and beyond the call of duty".

[Justin Thyme]

Nemo wrote:
>
> Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!

Zebra body is 'twixt zebra head and zebra tail.

--
I do not believe in revealed religion — I will have nothing to do
with your immortality; we are miserable enough in this life, without
speculating on another.
Lord Byron, 1778-1824, letter to Rev. Francis Hodgson, 1811

[Nemo]

On 08/03/2015 12:45, Ivan D. Reid wrote:
> On Sun, 08 Mar 2015 07:35:45 +0000, Nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
> wrote in <lZSKw.1013083$551....@fx43.am4>:
>
>> Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!
>
> Nobody here but us chickens!
>

There's an obvious answer there, but if I tell anyone to cl*ck off, they
might just do it and make the poor city of posters even worse.

Poor city of posters? Yeah. Bricks and more tar were too expensive so
they built their houses out of all the millions of paper ads that used
to be illegally plastered all over London until Camden threatened to
take the chair of Sony UK and some others to court and obtain ASBOs and
the whole industry consisting of thugs plastering every wall with these
ads fell flat on its face. Heheheheheeeeeeeee!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-social_behaviour_order

See. Tony B'Liar wasn't all bad. About 98% of eem was butt not this bit!

There's notta lotta people know that!

[Nemo]

On 09/03/2015 17:59, Justin Thyme wrote:
> Nemo wrote:
>>
>> Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!
>
> Zebra body is 'twixt zebra head and zebra tail.
>

What about the one who got run over on a Man Crossing though? His zebra
body was torso badly he ended up in Muckdonalds burgers!

[MartinS]

Are "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra crossing and a camel?

--
Martin S

[Ivan D. Reid]

On Sat, 14 Mar 2015 16:43:47 -0400, MartinS <m...@my.place.invalid>
wrote in <55049d81$0$57802$c3e8da3$c8b7...@news.astraweb.com>:

Not if you don't get your thumbs caught between the bricks!

[Nemo]

Eccles: I give up! *Are* "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra
crossing and a camel?

[Nemo]

On 14/03/2015 22:23, Ivan D. Reid wrote:
> On Sat, 14 Mar 2015 16:43:47 -0400, MartinS <m...@my.place.invalid>
> wrote in <55049d81$0$57802$c3e8da3$c8b7...@news.astraweb.com>:
>> Nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
>>> Justin Thyme wrote:
>>>> Nemo wrote:
>
>>>>> Where is zebra body - and don't reply 'London Zoo'!
>
>>>> Zebra body is 'twixt zebra head and zebra tail.
>
>>> What about the one who got run over on a Man Crossing though? His zebra
>>> body was torso badly he ended up in Muckdonalds burgers!
>
>> Are "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra crossing and a camel?
>
> Not if you don't get your thumbs caught between the bricks!
>

Or your bumbs between the pr*cks!

[Bill Taylor]

On Sunday, March 15, 2015 at 9:43:46 AM UTC+13, MartinS wrote:

> Are "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra crossing and a camel?

The Dromedary has one hump,
The Bactrian's a two-humped chump,
And you can write on hard enamel -
There never was a three-humped camel!

(with apologies to Ogden Neddy)

[MartinS]

Bill Taylor <shirt...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> MartinS wrote:
>
>> Are "humped zebras" a cross between a zebra crossing and a camel?
>
> The Dromedary has one hump,
> The Bactrian's a two-humped chump,
> And you can write on hard enamel -
> There never was a three-humped camel!
>
> (with apologies to Ogden Neddy)

Now the camel has a lot of fun,
He gets to do it in the desert sun.
He always gets two humps for one,
As he revels in the throes of fornication.

From "Cats on the Rooftops", a traditional bawdy ballad.

--
Martin S

[Nemo]

Neddy in a pig-sty?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

Oink ready bull!

[Nemo]

Give it some hairy storer then!

[MartinS]

Another desert ditty:

Now, the sexual life of the camel
Is not as dull as one thinks
For in moments of animal passion,
He makes crude attempts at the Sphinx.

Now, the Sphinx's posterior passage
Is clogged with the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

Hundreds more at http://www.horntip.com/

--
Martin S

[Nemo]

Heard it before but still LOL.

Owabout . .

The boy stood on the burning deck,
The flames had caught the sails.
He jumped about - his feet on fire,
On red-hot scalding nails!

The boy stood on the burning deck,
His balls caught in a zither!
He pulled it off - it flew right back
And sliced up half his liver!

The boy stood on the burning deck.
He tried to reach the Poop.
Butt, alas so frightened, he
Required a pooper scoop!

The boy stood on the burning deck -
The flames licked higher and higher.
He then commenced a sprightly dance,
His underpants on fire.

The boy stood on the freezing deck,
With ice around his testes.
He needn't have been quite so cold -
He'd forgot his pants and vesties!

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Whence all had gone to bed.
Except the Captain's wife, rude lass,
A-giving him some head!

The boy stood by the smoking pan,
His nostrils all a quiver.
He took a sniff - a lovely whiff -
Some onions and some liver!

The boy stood by river bank,
His sphincter all a quiver.
A Tookas niff - an ugly whiff
Polluted all the river!

The boy stood on the burning deck;
He tried to reach the mast.
Butt alas he was too late,
Coz Bummer grabbed his arse!

(Bummer Mayhew - a metalwork teacher at Acland Buggery School in the
days when they covered up for pædophiles instead of gettin em arrested!!)

The boy stood by the smoking pan,
His nostrils all a quiver.
He took a sniff - a lovely whiff -
Some onions and some liver!

The boy stood by river bank,
His sphincter all a quiver.
A Tookas niff - a pongy whiff
Polluted all the river!

[Ivan D. Reid]

On Sat, 28 Mar 2015 02:35:20 +0000, Nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet>
wrote in <KroRw.1261411$Fr6.2...@fx14.am4>:

> The boy stood on the burning deck,

The Russian satellite...
-- My Dad, 1957

[Nemo]

On 29/03/2015 12:57, Ivan D. Reid wrote:
>> The boy stood on the burning deck,
> The Russian satellite...


The boy stood on the burning deck,
The Russian satellite...

Was going round going beep beep beep
And gave eem quite a fright!