"it's my turn in the barrel"
John Savage
Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
But there it was, with the beleaguered garrison under Capt Bloodnock
struggling to save both morale and a lone banana tree, they all but
nominate Eccles as the gallant "volunteer" to sally forth in the
face of enemy fire to summon help. In a pathetic attempt to shift
this duty onto more-deserving shoulders, and attempting to match
or out-do another's "I have a wife and children back home depending
on me", lily-livered Eccles pleads exemption on the grounds that
"it's my turn in the barrel".
Surprised as I was to hear the phrase resurface in such exalted
company, I was moreover puzzled to hear it receive no laughs; not a
gaffaw, not a chuckle, not even a muffled snicker, as far as I could
make out.
Does this mean that the genteel BBC audience is just unappreciative
of the unabashed vulgarity of old mariners, or does the phrase have
an altogether more respectable origin but lacking of any humourous
connotation? What could it be? Anyone in the know, please expound.
[Intended for alt.usage.english but crossposted to alt.fan.goons]
--
John Savage koala ţ sydney.dialix.com.au <-- use this address
as header bounces
Steve Caskey
ko...@sydney.SUNDIALix.com.au (John Savage) writes:
>Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
>connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
>place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
>in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
Note for a.u.e readers: the Goon Show was a British radio comedy that ran
during the 1950s and is widely recognised as the inspiration for, among
other things, Monty Python's Flying Circus.
>But there it was, [...]
>
>Surprised as I was to hear the phrase resurface in such exalted
>company, I was moreover puzzled to hear it receive no laughs; not a
>gaffaw, not a chuckle, not even a muffled snicker, as far as I could
>make out.
>
>Does this mean that the genteel BBC audience is just unappreciative
>of the unabashed vulgarity of old mariners, or does the phrase have
>an altogether more respectable origin but lacking of any humourous
>connotation? What could it be? Anyone in the know, please expound.
A popular game the Goons played was "let's put one over on the BBC". There
were several hidden smutty references in various scripts which the censors
would seem to have missed. A common tactic was to quote just the punch
line to a dirty joke, as you see here. On other occasions where this line
was used, audiences _did_ react to some small extent. I think it's fair to
suggest, though, that the majority of any given audience _were_ too refined
to know the joke.
Another one used on more than one occasion: the minor character Hugh
Jampton. Hugh Jampton = Huge Hampton = Hampton Wick -- Cockney rhyming
slang, work it out for yourself. Again, this got scattered laughs. This
is all old hat to alt.fan.goons readers.
It was also rumoured that in the characters of Lalkaka and Banerjee,
Sellers and Milligan muttered "highly dubious phrases in Urdu", quite
possible since they both grew up in India.
Steve Caskey
--
Just another mindless public servant at the Ministry of Education
"If the Andrews Sisters, the Three Stooges and Vivienne Westwood were
trapped on a desert island for a weekend with a case of kiwifruit liqueur,
the resulting love child would be When The Cat's Been Spayed."
eda...@cts.com
In <LB8e5sG...@news.gisco.net>, ko...@sydney.SUNDIALix.com.au (John Savage) writes:
>Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
>connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
>place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
>in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
>
>struggling to save both morale and a lone banana tree, they all but
>nominate Eccles as the gallant "volunteer" to sally forth in the
>face of enemy fire to summon help. In a pathetic attempt to shift
>this duty onto more-deserving shoulders, and attempting to match
>or out-do another's "I have a wife and children back home depending
>on me", lily-livered Eccles pleads exemption on the grounds that
>
>Surprised as I was to hear the phrase resurface in such exalted
>company, I was moreover puzzled to hear it receive no laughs; not a
>gaffaw, not a chuckle, not even a muffled snicker, as far as I could
>make out.
>
>Does this mean that the genteel BBC audience is just unappreciative
>of the unabashed vulgarity of old mariners, or does the phrase have
>an altogether more respectable origin but lacking of any humourous
>connotation? What could it be? Anyone in the know, please expound.
I'm not sure that this applies in Britian but in the U.S. it has
become a common idiom meaning "this is an unpleasant job that we all
have to do and now it is your turn.". Most people who use the
expression either haven't heard the joke or fail to make the
connection.
For those who haven't heard the joke here it is. It quite ribald.
You've been warned.
A new recruit shows up on his first ship. While he is being shown the
ropes he mentions that he is going to miss the company of women while
at sea to the old salt showing him around. The old salt takes him to
a barrel with a knot hole in it and tells him that he can get a blow
job through the knot hole every day but Tuesday. The new hand asks
"Why not on Tuesday?", and the old salt tells him "It's your turn in
the barrel".
Edmond Dantes
eda...@cts.com
http://www.free.cts.com/crash/e/edantes
There's nothing wrong with New York city that couldn't be fixed with
neutron bombs.
Paul S Winalski
John Savage wrote:
>
> Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
> connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
> place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
> in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
The Beeb had a very extensive code of censorship that even Mrs.
Grundy might have found excessively restrictive. Spike
Milligan, author of most of the Goon Show scripts, was constantly
bickering with unimaginative BBC programme planners as he
extended the fronteirs of comedy. One of the ways that Spike
fought back was to play "let's put one over on the BBC" by
sneaking ribald references into the scripts, things that
aren't dirty at all unless you know the references. "It's
your turn in the barrel" is one of these. Here are some
other examples:
Several shows contain navel vessels called "the good ship Venus".
A few shows have a character named "Hugh Jampton". Spike told
the censors it was the name of an old army buddy of his. In
fact it is a pun on a bit of rhyming slang: Hugh Jampton ->
huge Hampton -> Hampton Wick.
"I don't know who you are sir, but you've done me a power of
good". Another reference to the punchline of a ribald joke,
in which a man walks home at night in the fog and, unable to
find the light, stumbles upstairs in the dark and gets into
bed next to his wife, with whom he makes love. The morning
light reveals he accidentally got the wrong house and is in
bed with a man who says, "I don't know who you are, sir, or
where you're from, but you've done my piles a power of good."
--PSW
John Davies
In article <LB8e5sG...@news.gisco.net>, John Savage <koala@sydney.S
UNDIALix.com.au> writes
>Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
>connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
>place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
>in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
>
[...]
>"it's my turn in the barrel".
>
>Surprised as I was to hear the phrase resurface in such exalted
>company, I was moreover puzzled to hear it receive no laughs; not a
>gaffaw, not a chuckle, not even a muffled snicker, as far as I could
>make out.
>Does this mean that the genteel BBC audience is just unappreciative
>of the unabashed vulgarity of old mariners, or does the phrase have
>an altogether more respectable origin but lacking of any humourous
>connotation? What could it be? Anyone in the know, please expound.
The first time I heard the broadcast you mention I was a ribald sailor
myself - doing my national service in the RN. I listened to it on a
crowded mess-deck along with everyone else in the ship's company who
wasn't actually on watch - and a few who should have been. The line was
greeted with loud and knowing laughter from everyone.
Milligan and Secombe had both served in the army during WW2, and the
Goon show scripts were full of references to obscene jokes that were
current in the armed forces, though not necessarily known to a wider
public. Another programme had Wallace Greenslade beginning to recite, in
his impeccable BBC English: "In the street of a thousand households..."
a reference to a WW2 army ballad, set in Egypt, which began
In the street of a thousand arseholes
At the sign of the swinging tit...
There's no doubt at all that Milligan in particular enjoyed getting
these arcane and bawdy references onto the air under the noses of a BBC
management that still retained much of the humourless puritanism of its
first Director General, Lord Reith. I've seen more than one reference
to this, and though I don't recall the details, I seem to recall that
Spike himself mentions it in one of his books.
And no, there is no innocent version of the "my turn in the barrel"
line.
--
John Davies (jo...@redwoods.demon.co.uk)
Chris Hawkins
>Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
>connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
>place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
>in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
>
>But there it was, with the beleaguered garrison under Capt Bloodnock
" 'enry, 'enry,"
" Yes, Min"
"There's a strange antipodean man at the door who says that Major
Bloodnock's been demoted....."
tah...@azstarnet.com
In 1976 someone named Alan Furst published a mystery novel (Atheneum)
called "Your Day in the Barrel". It had as its epigraph the barrel
joke but no further reference to the matter in the rest of the book.
It was, I guess, suppose to indicate how everything went wrong for the
hero. I've always wondered how the author (editor?) managed to talk
the publishers (and I believe that Atheneum is a staid old publishing
house) into bringing out this book under that title.
Hayford
>
John Davies
In article <5bpti7$f...@wnnews1.netlink.net.nz>, Steve Caskey <allin1@sch
ools.minedu.govt.nz> writes
[apropos obscenity in the Goon show]
>Another one used on more than one occasion: the minor character Hugh
>Jampton. Hugh Jampton = Huge Hampton = Hampton Wick -- Cockney rhyming
>slang, work it out for yourself. Again, this got scattered laughs. This
>is all old hat to alt.fan.goons readers.
Kenneth Horne's show "Round the Horne", rather than the Goon Show - but
my recollection may well be faulty (it often is). Or did it appear in
both?
--
John Davies (jo...@redwoods.demon.co.uk)
Adrian Tan
eda...@cts.com wrote:
>
> For those who haven't heard the joke here it is. It quite ribald.
> You've been warned.
I shouldn't've read it... Allow me to add my warnings.
Tim Poston
Paul S Winalski (wina...@zko.dec.com) wrote:
: The Beeb had a very extensive code of censorship that even Mrs.
: Grundy might have found excessively restrictive. Spike
: Milligan, author of most of the Goon Show scripts, was constantly
: bickering with unimaginative BBC programme planners as he
: extended the frontiers of comedy.
`Round the Horne' had similar battles with the censors,
and made a running joke of them.
One superb sketch went "behind the scenes of the BBC"
to a meeting of the censors, and played them as
feeble-minded smut hounds with nothing
else on their minds.
The fact that the sketch got through illustrates
that the censorship was pretty narrowly focussed
on its list of taboo topics (probably genital,
anal, and royal); in a more `political'
environment such disrespect would
be slammed first.
I suspect that what most BBC comedy people would
like above all to do now would be a piece
on Birt, the appalling Director-General.
Fat chance.
Tim
____________________________________________________________________________
Tim Poston Institute of Systems Science, National University of Singapore
I plead the headaches.
Gareth Williams
Thus spake ko...@sydney.SUNDIALix.com.au (John Savage) :
+Up until recently, I had heard "it's my turn in the barrel" only in
+connection with a particularly unfunny ribald sailor joke, so the last
+place that I would have expected to ever encounter the phrase would be
+in an episode of BBC radio's delightfully clean The Goons Show.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ HMMM?
The Goon Show team took great delight in trying to get items past
Aunty Beeb. They used to slip them in so fast (if you'll pardon the
expression) that not many noticed them.
An occasional character for instance was Hugh Jampton, the intrepid
reporter.
(note for transponders on a.u.e. - rhyming slang - Hampton Wick)
regards
Gareth Williams <g...@fmode.demon.co.uk>
Tim Poston
John Davies (jo...@redwoods.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: I was under the impression that "Hugh Jampton" was a running gag in
: Kenneth Horne's show "Round the Horne", rather than the Goon Show - but
: my recollection may well be faulty (it often is). Or did it appear in
: both?
It was big enough.
____________________________________________________________________________
Tim Poston Institute of Systems Science, National University of Singapore
Ask not what your time-zone can do for you:
ask what you can do for your time-zone.
Steve Shervais
Steve Caskey wrote:
> T.F.Eccles, in search of a fork on the end of a pole
I seem to remember some goonery where the lads were going to climb an
underwater mountain, and were going to get to the bottom by sliding down
a greasy pole -- "that is, if he doesn't object."
Does this ring any belles?
Steve Shervais
sher...@acm.org
Steve Caskey
In Article <32e2f67c...@news.demon.co.uk>
ch...@cgkh.demon.co.uk (Chris Hawkins) writes:
>>But there it was, with the beleaguered garrison under Capt Bloodnock
>
>" 'enry, 'enry,"
>
>" Yes, Min"
>
>"There's a strange antipodean man at the door who says that Major
>Bloodnock's been demoted....."
Makes a change from being cashiered, at least.
T.F.Eccles, in search of a fork on the end of a pole
Max Crittenden
The night after reading this thread, I dreamed that I was listening
to "My Word" and that either Frank Muir or Denis Norden was asked
to explain the meaning of this phrase. Unfortunately, I didn't
get to hear the answer.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Max Crittenden STRIKE SLIP, Merit 25 Menlo Park, Calif.
Steve Caskey
In Article <r9lu7BAm...@redwoods.demon.co.uk>
John Davies <jo...@redwoods.demon.co.uk> writes:
>I was under the impression that "Hugh Jampton" was a running gag in
>Kenneth Horne's show "Round the Horne", rather than the Goon Show - but
>my recollection may well be faulty (it often is). Or did it appear in
>both?
"Round the Horne" may have used it, though I have no recollection of ever
hearing it there. But the Goon Show well and truly predates this, and
"Hugh Jampton" was definitely one of theirs. Maybe you're thinking of Hugh
Paddick, who was one of the _actors_ in "Round the Horne".
(Irrelevant to a.u.e, I know, but I'm not sure which group John Davies is
following this from. Guess I should have taken it to email. Oh well -
next time.)
Steve Caskey
Marty Tabnik
t...@iss.nus.sg wrote:
TP> John Davies (jo...@redwoods.demon.co.uk) wrote:
TP> : I was under the impression that "Hugh Jampton" was a running gag in
TP> : Kenneth Horne's show "Round the Horne", rather than the Goon Show - but
TP> : my recollection may well be faulty (it often is). Or did it appear in
TP> : both?
TP> It was big enough.
H.G-T: Big? Why it was . . .
Eccles: This is where you came in, folks! Owoooooo!
___
X SLMR 2.1a X Truth is stranger than Science Fiction.
Marty Tabnik
t...@iss.nus.sg wrote:
TP> (wina...@zko.dec.com) wrote:
TP> : The Beeb had a very extensive code of censorship that even Mrs.
TP> : Grundy might have found excessively restrictive. Spike
TP> : Milligan, author of most of the Goon Show scripts, was constantly
TP> : bickering with unimaginative BBC programme planners as he
TP> : extended the frontiers of comedy.
TP> `Round the Horne' had similar battles with the censors,
TP> and made a running joke of them.
TP> One superb sketch went "behind the scenes of the BBC"
TP> to a meeting of the censors, and played them as
TP> feeble-minded smut hounds with nothing
TP> else on their minds.
Stan Freberg had similar problems. His "Elderly Man River"
parody [with Daws "Huckleberry Hound" Butler as the censor
"Mr. Tweedly"] anticipated political correctness by almost
forty years. The punch line [Freberg is trying to sing
"Old Man River" {sigh}] is a hoot
Tote that barge!
Lift that bail!
Ya get a little . . . .
(Take your finger off the button.
I know when I'm licked.)
From the USofA, where every TV show now bears a "rating".
___
X SLMR 2.1a X Pardon me, Mr. Freberg, but my name is Tweedly.
James Prescott
> " 'enry, 'enry,"
>
> " Yes, Min"
>
> "There's a strange antipodean man at the door who says that Major
> Bloodnock's been demoted....."
That is very unusual. I believe he normally manages to be cashiered.
All my best,
James Prescott <ja...@nucleus.com> OR <pres...@acm.org> (PGP user)
Andy Davison
In message <5c3lto$e...@holodeck.iss.nus.sg>
t...@iss.nus.sg (Tim Poston) writes:
> `Round the Horne' had similar battles with the censors,
> and made a running joke of them.
> One superb sketch went "behind the scenes of the BBC"
> to a meeting of the censors, and played them as
> feeble-minded smut hounds with nothing
> else on their minds.
Not one, but several. My favourite start to a Round the Horne show
goes as follows:
Ah, Horne, I have to reprimand you on certain words and phrases used
in last weeks show.
What words?
Last week you distinctly said Hello
Well whats wrong with that?
Oh come off it Horne. We all know what 'Hello' means. We all know
what it suggests. It suggests 'Hello, whats this I see through the
keyhole. Its a scantily clad female doing an exotic dance with a ball of wool'.
Good hevens Sir, is tht what it suggests?
Well thats what it suggests to me.
--
Andy Davison
Paul S Winalski
Andy Davison wrote:
[regarding Round the Horne poking fun at the censors]
!> Not one, but several. My favourite start to a Round the Horne show
!> goes as follows:
!>
!> Ah, Horne, I have to reprimand you on certain words and phrases used
!> in last weeks show.
!>
!> What words?
!>
!> Last week you distinctly said Hello
!>
!> Well whats wrong with that?
!>
!> Oh come off it Horne. We all know what 'Hello' means. We all know
!> what it suggests. It suggests 'Hello, whats this I see through the
!> keyhole. Its a scantily clad female doing an exotic dance with a ball
of wool'.
!>
!> Good hevens Sir, is tht what it suggests?
!>
!> Well thats what it suggests to me.
And then it continues:
CENSOR: And then there's your name.
HORNE: My name? What's wrong with 'Kenneth Horne'?
CENSOR: Everyone knows that ground-up moose's horn is an aphrodesiac.
The very title of your show is an inducement to loose living and
carrying on... (pause) I've found. You'll have to change your
name.
DOUGLAS SMITH (announcer): We now present 'Round the
Larksley-Fortinbras'.
--PSW
John Nurick
On Wed, 22 Jan 1997 19:55:29 -0800, coup...@cdc.com (Jitze Couperus)
wrote:
>Which program had the two lovers Ron and El who were always sighing
>in each others arms?
Ron and Eth [Ethel]; The Glums; I think they first appeared in _Take
it from Here_ on BBC radio in the 50s. Dick Bentley was Ron, young
June Whitfield (I think) Eth, and Jimmy Edwards Pa Glum.
More recently, the musical stage show has been a global hit, although
for some reason they translated the title into French.
John
Paul S Winalski
Steve Shervais wrote:
>
> Steve Caskey wrote:
> > T.F.Eccles, in search of a fork on the end of a pole
>
> underwater mountain, and were going to get to the bottom by sliding down
> a greasy pole -- "that is, if he doesn't object."
It's from "The Greatest Mountain in the World", number 2 of the
Vintage Goons series. The Vintage Goons programmes were a
special series done for the BBC Transcription Service. They
were new performances of shows originally done as part of the 4th
series of the Goon Show. There was usually some revision of
the script, sometimes extensive, since some of the material
had originally occupied only 1/3 of a programme. Here
is the sequence in question as it appeared in the Vintage
Goons programme. Our fearless heroes have discovered that
the mountain is underwater and are discussing how to
climb down to it:
SEAGOON: I say, how do you intend getting down to the mountain?
BLOODNOK: Simple--one digging, one filling in, and one looking.
No, no, no, I mean my famous fireman system. You see, what
we do is lower a greasy pole over the ship’s side, providing he
doesn’t object, and we all...
SECOMBE: (overcome with giggles) Good ole Stanislowski!
BLOODNOK: ...and we all slide down to the mountain-top and plant
a British flag.
The phrase "providing he doesn't object" isn't present in the
show as performed in the 4th Series. It was either added by
Milligan to the script for the Vintage Goons broadcast, or it
is a genuine ad-lib. Harry Secombe's rejoinder "Good ole
Stanislowski" is done out-of-character and amidst lots of
giggles, and interrupts Bloodnok's line, so it is almost
certainly an ad-lib.
--PSW
Mike Laurie
Steve Shervais <sher...@acm.org> wrote:
>Steve Caskey wrote:
>> T.F.Eccles, in search of a fork on the end of a pole
>I seem to remember some goonery where the lads were going to climb an
>underwater mountain, and were going to get to the bottom by sliding down
>a greasy pole -- "that is, if he doesn't object."
>Does this ring any belles?
>Steve Shervais
>sher...@acm.org
This was "The Greatest Mountain in the World" (or "... on Earth"). It
is the first goon show I ever recorded from my steam-powered
talking-type wireless, so It is a particular favourite of mine for no
apparent reason.
There follows a precis of the show with some of the best jokes types
out verbatim (I think). The reason why I know the show so well is
that it was ingrained in my memory at an early age. I was
brainwashed, me lud.
The story starts in the Houses of Parliament, where Lord Spon is shot
by Seagoon, who explains his actions by saying,
NS: "I'm sorry I had to do that to Lord Spon, But I have an important
announcement to make to this house. You remember in 1953, Tensing and
Hillary performed a prestigious feat by climbing a mountain that no
man had climbed before?"
Throat: "Yes."
NS: "Well. I'm going to go one better. I intend to climb the highest
mountain in the world!"
MP: "My Dear fellow, it's already been climbed."
NS: "Hur hur hur. You're thinking of the one Hillary and tensing
climbed. Oh, no - I intend to climb another, higher mountain."
MP: "And what is its name?"
NS: "It's called ... 'Mount Everest'!"
Deep voiced MP: "But Mount Everest has already been clumbed."
NS: "Clumbed?"
DVMP: "Climbed."
NS: "Who clumbed it?"
DVMP: "Er.. Hillary and Jim Tensing."
NS (Narked): "So. They beat me to it, eh? A dishonest, spotsman-like
trick. Never mind. I'll find a higher mountain. I'll find a way...
I'll find some way to..."
Throat: "Um.. Why not build one?"
NS: "Build one? What rubbish. Get out."
Throat: "No"
NS: "It's agreed then - we start work at dawn tomorrow."
etc...
They try to build a mountain in Hyde park.
NS: "Ah, what a sight. 500 British workmen. Three of them working!"
They fill the Serpentine with concrete. Cue Eccles:
Eccles: "I di dum diddle di..."
NS: "Gad it's the famous Eccles"
Eccles: "Allo!"
NS: "Eccles - That's a dirty great lump you've got on your bonce."
Eccles: "Yer - I just dives in the Serpentine."
NS: "You fool - it's solid concrete!"
Eccles: "Well that's saved my life, then; I can't swim. I'm one of
the greatest swimmers on earth, you know."
NS: "But you just..."
Eccles: "No good in the water, but very good on earth"
Crun arrives with a box containing a molehill. The plan is to make a
mountain out of it. While everyone laughs at this, Ellington arrives
in a lorry with a parcel, which Crun assumes must be the mole for the
molehill. It turns out to be a lion.
Crun: "Here, Pussy. Eat this nice piece of meat. It's all for you.."
Eccles: "Put me down!"
The mountain is exploded by bang by Grytpipe-Thynne because it is
'above knee level and within a radius of nelson's column'. Eccles
thinks the dynamite is a cigar so takes a puff and after the enormous
explosion comes up with the classic - "Ooooooooh. Strong."
Neddy was sleeping on top of the mountain at the time, and he is
thrown into the air and lands on a piano. Good job Henry Crun had his
foot on the soft pedal.
Then Little Jim comes up with the news that he knows of a higher
mountain than Everest (Mount Fred), "But there's a snaggle. It's
under the sea - it's under the sea"
Thus, they sail off, and yes - Bloodnok reveals his plan that they
should plant the British flag on the summit of the mountain by
lowering a greasy pole over the ship's side (providing he doesn't
object), and sliding down it to the summit of the mountain.
Bloodnok: "For this expedition, we will need ropes, hooks, crampons,
grappling irons, crevices and Miss Myrtle Penelope Impling."
NS: "What's she for?"
Bloodnok: "I love her, Sir."
Also,
Bloodnok: "We will need camels to carry all the heavy equipment"
NS: "Camels? Camels live underwater? My Lord that's mad, yes,"
Bloodnok: "Of course it's mad. Only mad camels could live underwater"
Neddie decrees that the plan would not work, as the british
mountaineering council states categorically (and I repeat that word,
Categorically), that all mountains must be climbed up to get to the
top. They drive down to the base of the mountain (because it's too far
to walk - approximately 3 miles. To be exact, 3 miles) but they get
lost underwater, and knock at an oyster.
Minnie B: "Hello?"
NS: "Is pearl in?"
Min: "No, But I'm her mother."
NS: "You must be mother of pearl, then"
After getting abandoned by the driver, Ned calls Bluebottle to go to
the surface to find out where they are. Of course, Bluebottle gets
deaded by grabbing hold of a submerged mine on orders of Ned.
The explosion also blows Mount Fred to pieces, so as consolation,
Eccles offers Ned the rest of the cigar he found in the mountain.
NS: "Thank you very much - that's very kind of you. Mmm - strong,
aren't they."
Boooooooooooooooooooom
Wal: "We regret to announce the death of Lord Seagoon, the Famous
Eccles and Mr Crun. The program was recorded; goodnight."
Eccles: "Goodnight, everybody - have a nice time"
Wal: "You're supposed to be deaded."
Eccles: "No I'm not"
Bluebottle: "Yeah - you were deaded like all of us"
NS: "Come on, Eccles - be deaded - we're deaded..."
Cue music......
Ahh - memories of childhood.
------------------
Mike Laurie
lau...@logica.com
Alan Dunford
In article <couperus-220...@129.179.4.95>, Jitze Couperus
<coup...@cdc.com> writes
>In article <max_crittenden-...@128.18.80.53>,
>max_cri...@qm.sri.com (Max Crittenden) wrote:
>
>> The night after reading this thread, I dreamed that I was listening
>> to "My Word" and that either Frank Muir or Denis Norden was asked
>> to explain the meaning of this phrase. Unfortunately, I didn't
>> get to hear the answer.
>>
>
>in each others arms?
"Take It from Here". - Sketches featuring the Glum family - Ron played by
Dick Bentley,and Eth (not El) by June Whitfield and father Glum by Jimmy
Edwards - scripts of course by Frank Muir and Denis Norden.
--
Alan Dunford Derby, England
adun...@foxsys.demon.co.uk
Chris Hawkins
On Wed, 22 Jan 1997 06:34:50 -0800, Steve Shervais <sher...@acm.org>
wrote:
>Steve Caskey wrote:
>> T.F.Eccles, in search of a fork on the end of a pole
>
>I seem to remember some goonery where the lads were going to climb an
>underwater mountain, and were going to get to the bottom by sliding down
>a greasy pole -- "that is, if he doesn't object."
>
>Does this ring any belles?
>
Yup! But for the death of me, I can't remember the name of the
episode!
Paul S Winalski
Mike Laurie wrote:
>
> Crun arrives with a box containing a molehill. The plan is to make a
> mountain out of it. While everyone laughs at this, Ellington arrives
> in a lorry with a parcel, which Crun assumes must be the mole for the
> molehill. It turns out to be a lion.
>
> Crun: "Here, Pussy. Eat this nice piece of meat. It's all for you.."
> Eccles: "Put me down!"
This was an excellent sequence. Here is how it went in the original
Goon Show series 4 broadcast of "The Greatest Mountain in the World".
There was some revision here in the Vintage Goons broadcast, such as
removal of the Egypt reference, which the Transcription Services
(for whom Vintage Goons was produced) disliked such political commentary
that might offend some of their audience.
=================
GRAMS: lorry pulling up
ELLINGTON: Anyone about here?
CRUN: Yes.
ELLINGTON: What are you three laying down for?
CRUN: A very good reason.
ELLINGTON: What?
CRUN: You just ran over us.
ELLINGTON: Are you Mr. Crun?
CRUN: Only just.
ELLINGTON: This parcel on my lorry is for you.
CRUN: Oh, that’ll be the mole for my molehill. Help me lift it down.
ECCLES AND OTHERS: Oooh, oooh!
FX: thump of large parcel being lifted down
CRUN: Good grief, it weighs a ton! Now, let’s get the string cut.
Eccles, the scissors.
ECCLES: OK. Here we go! Oh, de, de, de, dum, de, de, dere...
FX: snip of scissors cutting strings
ECCLES: And a bit dere, and a bit dere, and a bit dere, and a bit dere,
and a bit dere, and dere! How’s dat?
CRUN: Very good, mnk, but I didn’t want a haircut.
FX: thump
SEAGOON: Ah, here he is! The mole.
ECCLES: Oooh, yeah. Look at him. He must be hungry.
CRUN: Yes, mnk, here, boy, here’s a nice worm for you.
ECCLES: (gulps) Thanks! Any more?
SEAGOON: You idiot, Eccles! That was for the mole, you...
GRAMS: lion growling
SEAGOON: I say, are you... are you sure he’s a mole?
CRUN: Of course he’s a mole. Look, here’s the letter. 'With love
to our dear English friends, from your pals the Egyptians.' There.
SEAGOON: Hmm.
GRAMS: lion roaring
CRUN: If you don’t believe me, read the label round his neck. It’s
proof.
SEAGOON: All right, yes. It says: L... I... O... N... Hmm. L-I-O-N?
Mole?
GRAMS: lion growling
SEAGOON: L-I-O... (pause)
CRUN: Well? What does it say?
SEAGOON: (yells, off) Lion! It’s a lion!
CRUN: Oh, you silly man, you. Ellington, do you think it’s a lion?
ELLINGTON: (yells, off) Yes!
CRUN: Aaagh! Yaaagh!
GRAMS: lion roaring, continues growling through next dialogue
ECCLES: Oooh!
CRUN: Mnk... Nice pussy. Pussy, puss, puss. Pussy, pussy, wuss, puss.
Here, pussy, eat this, it’s all for you.
ECCLES: Put me down! Heeelllp!
GRAMS: footsteps running into the distance
===============================================
John Martin
j.nu...@dial.pipex.com (John Nurick) wrote:
> Ron and Eth [Ethel]; The Glums; I think they first appeared in _Take it
> from Here_ on BBC radio in the 50s. Dick Bentley was Ron, young June
> Whitfield (I think) Eth, and Jimmy Edwards Pa Glum.
In the TV series Ronnie Barker was Ron.
Geoff Butler
>in each others arms?
>
>
>Oh Ron - I do so love you - when can we get married?
>
>Oh El - I love you too, but not tonight, I'm on duty tonight in the pub.
>
><In a whining tone> Oh not again Ron?
>
>Yes, I'm afraid so - it's my turn in the bar El...
The Glums. I think she was Eth, though.
-ler
Steve Crook
Are you sure, I (& the IMDb) thought it was Ian Lavender (the Stupid
Boy from Dad's Army) played Ron.
Steve
Hugh Garsden
Paul S Winalski wrote:
>
> Andy Davison wrote:
>
> [regarding Round the Horne poking fun at the censors]
>
> !> Not one, but several. My favourite start to a Round the Horne show
> !> goes as follows:
> !>
Time there was a group for RTH. But who can do it?
BTW Anybody know if the BBC tape Round The Horne 7 is available?
I have seen it listed but can never find it. I have up to #6.
Back to the Goons.
--
Hugh Garsden
University of NSW
Sydney, Oz
John Martin
Steve Crook <st...@brainstorm.co.uk> wrote:
>>> Ron and Eth [Ethel]; The Glums; I think they first appeared in _Take
>>> it from Here_ on BBC radio in the 50s. Dick Bentley was Ron, young
>>> June Whitfield (I think) Eth, and Jimmy Edwards Pa Glum.
>> In the TV series Ronnie Barker was Ron.
> Are you sure, I (& the IMDb) thought it was Ian Lavender (the Stupid Boy
> from Dad's Army) played Ron.
We're both right. You're thinking of the more recent version. There was
also an earlier TV version with Ronnie Barker and IIRC June Whitfield. I
know because I saw a snatch of it on the tele last week. They were doing
the bit about Eth being "too common" for Ron, and he ought to forget her.
8-)
Can't remember who played Eth in the version with Ian Lavender as Ron.
John
Ian Clarke
>Are you sure, I (& the IMDb) thought it was Ian Lavender (the Stupid
>Boy from Dad's Army) played Ron.
>
It was
--
Ian Clarke
John Martin
Hugh Garsden <h.ga...@unsw.edu.au> wrote:
> BTW Anybody know if the BBC tape Round The Horne 7 is available? I have
> seen it listed but can never find it. I have up to #6.
We're up to Volume 8 in the UK. I'd give you the Catalogue nos, but they're
probably different in NSW.
John
Bill and Antje Cobbett
John Martin wrote:
>
> Steve Crook <st...@brainstorm.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >>> Ron and Eth [Ethel]; The Glums; I think they first appeared in _Take
> >>> it from Here_ on BBC radio in the 50s. Dick Bentley was Ron, young
> >>> June Whitfield (I think) Eth, and Jimmy Edwards Pa Glum.
>
> >> In the TV series Ronnie Barker was Ron.
>
> > from Dad's Army) played Ron.
>
> also an earlier TV version with Ronnie Barker and IIRC June Whitfield. I
> know because I saw a snatch of it on the tele last week. They were doing
> the bit about Eth being "too common" for Ron, and he ought to forget her.
>
> 8-)
>
> Can't remember who played Eth in the version with Ian Lavender as Ron.
>
> John
I think it was Patricia Brake?
Bill
--
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Rblumm
Was there not also a gem called "Napoleon's Piano" in which Neddie tries
to spear a kipper with a fork tied to the end of a pole (no ethnic slurs
here, lads), said kipper subsequently appearing and re-appearing
throughout the program like the Canterville Ghost.
Paul S Winalski
Yes. It starts with Neddie sitting down to breakfast in his hotel,
when in through the window comes a fork on the end of a pole, which
apparition tries to spear his kipper. It is wielded by Bloodnok.
When Neddie calls for the manager, Bloodnok yells "throw this man
out" before Neddie has a chance to speak. He then sits down to
breakfast on the kipper. Neddie uses the fork on a pole to try
to spear the kipper. Bloodnok calls for the manager, but Neddie
fluffs the attempt to turn the tables and ends up getting thrown
out again.
Later on, Bluebottle has fallen in the water, and Neddie says,
"don't panic, lad--grab this fork on the end of a pole".
Bluebottle says, "Here--it's got a kipper on." Neddie replies,
"Of course--you must keep up your strength."
--PSW
chr...@delphi.com
John Martin <Doc...@supergas.demon.co.uk> writes:
>Can't remember who played Eth in the version with Ian Lavender as Ron.
Porrage spin-off called (I think) Going Straight.
C