Time to break out the P.J. once again... :)
M. Mitchell Marmel
dinner in the Groucho Club--this week's in-spot for what's left of
Britain's lit glitz and nouveau rock riche--when one more person started
in on the Stars and Stripes.
Eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about "Your
country's never been invaded." (This fellow had been two during the
Blitz, you see.) "You don't know the horror, the suffering. You think
war is..."
I snapped. "A John Wayne movie," I said. "That's what you were going
to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie. We think _life_
is a John Wayne movie--with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that.
Well, you know something, Mister Limey Poofter? You're right. And let
me tell you who those bad guys are. They're _us_. WE BE BAD. "We're
the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're
three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from
a stock market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany,
France, and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us enough
room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant,
economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort
coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d'Antibes. And we've got
an American Express credit card limit higher than your piss-and metric
numbers go. "You say our country's never been invaded? You're right,
little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd
have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the
morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell
can't hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further,
fuck longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather
be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen and jack of all you
Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit
them out before lunch."
Of course, the guy should have punched me. But he was European. He
just smiled his shabby, superious European smile. (God, don't these
people have _dentists_?)
-P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
-MMM-
no one in particular
"M. Mitchell Marmel" <marm...@drexel.edu> wrote in message
news:marmelmm-B1688F...@velox.critter.net...
(snip)
> -P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
>
> -MMM-
*choke*
*snark*
*chortle*
*choke*
*chortle*
BWWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ROTFLMAO, PITA.
Thanks you, my local representative of Bob, for that. I needed a good
laugh after the last week with tonight's capper of a relative's 401K report.
Holy shit, but they got nailed on mid-caps. How in Nine Hells *do* you make
a -26.3% return? A blind man pointing at a stock ticker has a better
statistical likelihood...
No matter how bad it gets here, it can *NEVER* get as bad as the left
delusionally likes to think it will any day now and we will remain the place
more people from other places want to move to than any other. Heck, we're
more popular than St. Tropez. If you'll excuse me, I have to go gargle with
battery acid and chew nails.
-Wayd Wolf, born on a naval base and proud of it...
P.S.
P.J. has come hair width close to putting me in the hospital from
overstrenous laughter. Good choice of quotes.
Matthew W. Miller
<marm...@drexel.edu> wrote:
> -P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
And thank you for reminding me why I don't read that smug prick's works.
(And as if one of him wasn't enough, then along came Al Franken...)
--
Matthew W. Miller -- mwmi...@columbus.rr.com
Eisenschwarz
far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their demise,
Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell tonight. Now
it's time for WAR!!!
>-P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
Hmmmm, Typical right wing American arrogance,
Shameful conservative macho Claptrap.
---
Eisenschwarz-
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MacLeod the Wolf
"Matthew W. Miller" <mwmi...@columbus.rr.com> wrote in message
news:slrnaod30u....@dhcp9586174.columbus.rr.com...
Eh, Franken wasn't too bad. But then again the only piece of his that I read
was "Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot" and chuckled alot when I read it. And
I consider myself conservative as well!
no one in particular
"Eisenschwarz" <dramn...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:3d86e98...@news.critter.net...
> "M. Mitchell Marmel" <marm...@drexel.edu> came to alt.fan.furry from
> far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their demise,
> Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell tonight. Now
> it's time for WAR!!!
>
> >-P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
>
> Hmmmm, Typical right wing American arrogance,
> Shameful conservative macho Claptrap.
>
> ---
> Eisenschwarz-
You're just angry because your ancestors humped the bunk on the colonies
and lost the whole mess to the one thing that no monarch can control
forever: the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
Will you and everyone in the UK get over it already?
-Wayd Wolf
Shadowspawn
the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
The rest of the world would like to be free from YOUR asshole rulers.
no one in particular
"Shadowspawn" <dou...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
news:ausfou0v93gt30nts...@4ax.com...
> "no one in particular" <wayd...@nothotmail.com> wrote:
>
> the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
>
> The rest of the world would like to be free from YOUR asshole rulers.
What the fuck is it with you? You *STILL* haven't gotten a decent
fighting name. Why not Pinky Poofy the Cute or maybe something really
frightening like Samantha?
I mean, all I can get is a "doug"?
(sighs)
I think it is way past time we put you Canadians out of our misery and
simply offered statehood to whatever provinces wish to secede. As I recall,
some of the legislators in the western provinces mused publicly on doing
exactly that the last time Quebec came that close to taking a walk.
Just think, we might do it in your lifetime and give you a decent name
to boot, no doubt aboot it.
-Wayd Wolf
Shadowspawn
>
>"Shadowspawn" <dou...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
>news:ausfou0v93gt30nts...@4ax.com...
>> "no one in particular" <wayd...@nothotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
>>
>> The rest of the world would like to be free from YOUR asshole rulers.
>
> What the fuck is it with you? You *STILL* haven't gotten a decent
>fighting name. Why not Pinky Poofy the Cute or maybe something really
>frightening like Samantha?
>
> I mean, all I can get is a "doug"?
The name is Douglas. I bear it proudly where as you hide yours.
What is with me? I have this unfortunate ability to recognize the
obvious.
> I think it is way past time we put you Canadians out of our misery and
>simply offered statehood to whatever provinces wish to secede.
Awe.. Another shining example of the great goodness that is the
United States of America.
> As I recall, some of the legislators in the western provinces mused publicly on doing
>exactly that the last time Quebec came that close to taking a walk.
You recall wrong. They discussed an economic union, not joining the
great satan.
> Just think, we might do it in your lifetime and give you a decent name
>to boot, no doubt aboot it.
Like what, Beolzebub? Naw, I'll stick with Douglas thanks. Why dont
you buy a name for yourself instead?
Eisenschwarz
from far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their
demise, Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell
tonight. Now it's time for WAR!!!
> You're just angry because your ancestors humped the bunk on the colonies
Excuse me, But what the Fuck is it with Americans and this obsession
with the idea that all British people spend all their time Seething
with anger and jealousy because we lost the American war of
independence over 200 years ago?
By the time I was born, Britain had lost its empire, It had given up
it's foolish attempts to still try and be something (e.g english
electric lighteninga nd the nuclear bomber programme) although there
were still shameful relapses like the Falklands and trident missles.
But I can give you my full assurance that I rarely if ever Think about
the Loss of American, and I simply cannot dredge up any strong
emotions or feelings about it.
"It was a war, people died. Britain lost. War is bad"
That's about as far as my thoughts & feelings go.
>and lost the whole mess to the one thing that no monarch can control
>forever: the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
Like Bush or Reagan or Nixon?
> Will you and everyone in the UK get over it already?
It's called projection,
Kay Shapero
marm...@drexel.edu says...
> Of course, the guy should have punched me. But he was European. He
> just smiled his shabby, superious European smile. (God, don't these
> people have _dentists_?)
>
> -P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
Yeow! Shades of Mike Fink!
Mitch, that's beautiful. I have GOT to go get hold of that book.
:->
--
Kay Shapero
reply address munged - change the stuff on the
right of the at sign to earthlink.net
filk FAQ http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/filkfaq.htm
http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/index.htm
Kay Shapero
dramn...@yahoo.co.uk says...
> "M. Mitchell Marmel" <marm...@drexel.edu> came to alt.fan.furry from
> far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their demise,
> Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell tonight. Now
> it's time for WAR!!!
>
> >-P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
>
> Hmmmm, Typical right wing American arrogance,
> Shameful conservative macho Claptrap.
More of a case of giving the guy the blowhard American he
obviously wanted, with both barrels. :->
Think of it as an historical reenactment of an old American
Frontier keelboat legend. Danged fine example, too. Go thou to
the annals of myth and look up the name "Mike Fink". (I pause to
do a quick Google.) Aha - here's the story,more or less
http://www.sru.edu/depts/library/imc/FolkTales/fink.htm
M. Mitchell Marmel
Kay Shapero <kaysh...@see.my.sig.for.address> wrote:
> > -P.J. O'Rourke, Holidays in Hell, 1990
>
> Yeow! Shades of Mike Fink!
And then some.
> Mitch, that's beautiful. I have GOT to go get hold of that book.
> :->
It's worth it. A great read.
-MMM-
no one in particular
> "no one in particular" <wayd...@nothotmail.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Shadowspawn" <dou...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> >news:ausfou0v93gt30nts...@4ax.com...
> >> "no one in particular" <wayd...@nothotmail.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
> >>
> >> The rest of the world would like to be free from YOUR asshole rulers.
> >
> > What the fuck is it with you? You *STILL* haven't gotten a decent
> >fighting name. Why not Pinky Poofy the Cute or maybe something really
> >frightening like Samantha?
> >
> > I mean, all I can get is a "doug"?
>
> The name is Douglas. I bear it proudly where as you hide yours.
That's not a name to be proud of if you're going to fight with me.
Cynthia, maybe, but not Doug.
> What is with me? I have this unfortunate ability to recognize the
> obvious.
You have an unfortunate ability to miss the obvious. I hope your
insurance agents take that into account as you're a prime example of adverse
risk.
> > I think it is way past time we put you Canadians out of our misery and
> >simply offered statehood to whatever provinces wish to secede.
>
> Awe.. Another shining example of the great goodness that is the
> United States of America.
That's right and we're damn proud of it. We produce the majority of the
scientific advancements of note or the realistic exploitations of them to
the betterment of posterity. Canada produces maple syrup and shingling. We
produce the world's largest and freest exchange of information anywhere on
the planet. Canada produces silence. I could go on, but you're undoubtedly
pained enough by all of this already.
<DOT WARNER>
You're just jealous that we're a superpower and you're not.
</DOT WARNER>
Well, at least Leslie Nielsen survived your armed forces. Back when they
were really armed.
> > As I recall, some of the legislators in the western provinces mused
publicly on doing
> >exactly that the last time Quebec came that close to taking a walk.
>
> You recall wrong. They discussed an economic union, not joining the
> great satan.
No, your own politicians said it loud enough for our newspeople to hear
it and it was duly mentioned on nightly TV. NO politician of ANY nation even
JOKES such a thing without courting questions of national loyalty, much less
says it seriously without risking question of treason. Not unless
dissolution of the nation was a forgone conclusion should the pivotal event
occur, in this case the secession of a group of people who'd rather have
France rule them than the Canadian federal government.
Oh yeah, Canada is a peachy place when an entire province prefers
anything else to the rest of the bunch.
> > Just think, we might do it in your lifetime and give you a decent
name
> >to boot, no doubt aboot it.
>
> Like what, Beolzebub? Naw, I'll stick with Douglas thanks. Why dont
> you buy a name for yourself instead?
I have one. I am the Wolf At Your Door. I am the bell that tolls for
thee. Too bad you weren't paying attention and stepped in front of that tree
as the lumberjack felled it and screamed, "be careful, eh!"
-Wayd Wolf, manicurist to the Hand of Fate...
P.S.
Just think, when we finally add you and Mexico to the line-up, things
could equalize. Mexico has too many people and not enough resources and
Canada has not enough people and too many resources. You'll get Maple
Quesadillas and they'll get... CBC programming... so maybe that's a Luck for
Canada and a severe Fuck for Mexico, but I'm sure they'll find a way to get
even the way we're still trying. Say thanks to Canada for "Hanging In" kids!
(goes to gargle battery acid at thought of that stinker)
Oh look, they've got a logo at the CBC site about celebrating fifty
years... "tis not a thing to be rejoiced at." I agree with Fluellan there.
no one in particular
> "no one in particular" <wayd...@nothotmail.com> came to alt.fan.furry
> from far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their
> demise, Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell
> tonight. Now it's time for WAR!!!
>
> > You're just angry because your ancestors humped the bunk on the
colonies
>
> Excuse me, But what the Fuck is it with Americans and this obsession
> with the idea that all British people spend all their time Seething
> with anger and jealousy because we lost the American war of
> independence over 200 years ago?
No, just the morons who pipe up about it on a semi-regular basis,
usually in the form of backhanded comments along the lines of, "this is what
we get for letting you Yanks have your freedom."
We didn't get "let" anything. We kicked the ass of a force that was
overextended, underprepared, and insufficiently backed.
> By the time I was born, Britain had lost its empire, It had given up
> it's foolish attempts to still try and be something (e.g english
> electric lighteninga nd the nuclear bomber programme) although there
> were still shameful relapses like the Falklands and trident missles.
The Falklands wasn't shameful. Argentina violated international law by
seizing it militarily and they got their asses handed to them accordingly.
Some subject of the crown you are.
> But I can give you my full assurance that I rarely if ever Think about
> the Loss of American, and I simply cannot dredge up any strong
> emotions or feelings about it.
Or being taxed into poverty at will for that matter which would explain
your love of socialism.
> "It was a war, people died. Britain lost. War is bad"
> That's about as far as my thoughts & feelings go.
Have you thought about extending them to juxtaposing Lindsey Wagner with
a nice spanish omlette?
> >and lost the whole mess to the one thing that no monarch can control
> >forever: the human desire to be free of asshole rulers.
>
> Like Bush or Reagan or Nixon?
We don't have rulers. We have temps.
> > Will you and everyone in the UK get over it already?
>
> It's called projection,
It's called accuracy. You should listen to your own people make comments
some time.
> ---
> Eisenschwarz-
-Wayd Wolf
Cerulean
> We don't have rulers. We have temps.
Our current President is in power because his father was President,
and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
Some of us are wondering if we'll have to revolt from under a King
George III all over again.
--
___vvz /( Cerulean = Kevin Pease http://cerulean.st/
<__,` Z / ( DC2.~D GmAL~W-R+++Ac~J+S+Fr++IH$M-V+++Cbl,spu
`~~~) )Z) ( FDDmp4adwsA+++$C+D+HM+P-RT+++WZSm#
/ (7 ( hJJaLd-,,hemhue 6u!ua+s!7 s! auo-ou 'a)edS uI,,
Rann Aridorn
poledance that they wrote:
> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
Because people voted for him.
--
-Rann Aridorn
========
You WILL worship the cuteness!
http://www.hamtaro.com
Little hamsters, big adventures.
Hamtaro... anime hamsters, providing some giggles, some smiles, and a good
deal of aural prozac with their theme music.
Hamtaro: The cure for flamewars.
Put this in your hampsterdance and click it!
RHJunior
SORE LOSERMAN
SORE LOSERMAN
SORE LOSERMAN
> QuotSORE LOSERMAN
h Wayd:SORE LOSERMAN
SORE LOSERMAN
SORE LOSERMAN
> SORE LOSERMAN
SORE LOSERMAN
M. Mitchell Marmel
ma...@cerulean.st (Cerulean) wrote:
> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
> Some of us are wondering if we'll have to revolt from under a King
> George III all over again.
Isn't Dubya revolting enough as it is?
-MMM-
Ken Pick
> Quoth Wayd:
>
> > We don't have rulers. We have temps.
>
> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
> Some of us are wondering if we'll have to revolt from under a King
> George III all over again.
You're in the wrong newsgroup, dude. Try rec.games.frp.misc and
search for "Star Wars RPG" if you want to play the Good Guy (TM)
Rebels against the Evil Empire. (And while you're at it, you can
scream from every rooftop about how you dare not speak above a
whisper.)
The fact Bush 43's father was Bush 41 may have given him a leg up in
getting the initial "job interview" (nomination) and an understanding
of the "family business" that helped in the "final interview"
(election), but it wouldn't have automatically given him the position.
(His name is "Bush", not "Kennedy".)
A dynasty is when Junior *automatically* gets the job because his
daddy did. But that relationship should also not automatically
disqualify him for it.
Bill Marcum
> ma...@cerulean.st (Cerulean) wrote in message news:<3d8ab2a5...@velox.critter.net>...
>> Quoth Wayd:
>>
>> > We don't have rulers. We have temps.
>>
>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
>> Some of us are wondering if we'll have to revolt from under a King
>> George III all over again.
>
>
> getting the initial "job interview" (nomination) and an understanding
> of the "family business" that helped in the "final interview"
> (election), but it wouldn't have automatically given him the position.
> (His name is "Bush", not "Kennedy".)
>
his brother is governor of Florida, a state which has far surpassed Chicago's
reputation for crooked elections.
Bill Marcum
Rann Aridorn <rann...@attbi.com> wrote:
> ma...@cerulean.st (Cerulean) was so distracted by the Puma Twins doing a
> poledance that they wrote:
>
>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
>
> Because people voted for him.
>
Rann Aridorn
>>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
>>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
>>
>> Because people voted for him.
>>
> People that his dad appointed to the Supreme Court.
Really? I didn't know that his dad appointed the majority of the
American public to the supreme court.
Rann Aridorn
doing a poledance that they wrote:
>Hi! I'm a democrat! Listen to me bitch! Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
>bitch biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! Lie lie lie lie lie whine bitch whiiiine!
Yup, pretty much.
Nebulous
"Rann Aridorn" wrote >
> ========
>
> You WILL worship the cuteness!
> http://www.hamtaro.com
> Little hamsters, big adventures.
> Hamtaro... anime hamsters, providing some giggles, some smiles, and a
good
> deal of aural prozac with their theme music.
> Hamtaro: The cure for flamewars.
> Put this in your hampsterdance and click it!
http://www.suburbanjungle.com/d/20020920.html
--
Nebulous Rikulau
Cerulean
> but it wouldn't have automatically given him the position.
> (His name is "Bush", not "Kennedy".)
I'm not sure what you're implying about the nature of Anthony
Kennedy's impartiality or partiality with this comment.
Cerulean
>ma...@cerulean.st (Cerulean) was so distracted by the Puma Twins doing a
>poledance that they wrote:
>
>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
>
>Because people voted for him.
All the 2000 election proved was that this country's party division is
right down the middle, half and half. Given nothing but party lines to
go on because nobody liked the candidates that were chosen for them,
we got results that were statistically undecidable, and after that the
parties had to fight over the margin of error.
Junior was the Republican candidate because his father was President,
and I don't think The Great Coin-Toss had a more significant role in
making him President. If Gore had won, Bush would still get to be
president eight years later. I call this the illusion of being given a
choice.
artist
say...
> Quoth Rann Aridorn <rann...@attbi.com>:
>
>>ma...@cerulean.st (Cerulean) was so distracted by the Puma Twins doing a
>>poledance that they wrote:
>>
>>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
>>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
>>
>>Because people voted for him.
>
> All the 2000 election proved was that this country's party division is
> right down the middle, half and half. Given nothing but party lines to
> go on because nobody liked the candidates that were chosen for them,
> we got results that were statistically undecidable, and after that the
> parties had to fight over the margin of error.
>
> Junior was the Republican candidate because his father was President,
> and I don't think The Great Coin-Toss had a more significant role in
> making him President. If Gore had won, Bush would still get to be
> president eight years later. I call this the illusion of being given a
> choice.
That bothers you?
--
ICQ UIN# 106922763
AIM: GCCFurryBoy
Yahoo!Messenger: Okime_Kun
mell...@yahoo.com
http://www.practialdesigns.com/
"Neither hope nor fear" -- Isabella d'Este
"For to do either is to fall to the beast" -- Joseph Richmond
no one in particular
"Rann Aridorn" <rann...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:Xns928F999B06BFC...@63.240.76.16...
> Bill Marcum <bma...@iglou.com> was so distracted by the Puma Twins
> doing a poledance that they wrote:
>
> >>> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
> >>> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
> >>
> >> Because people voted for him.
> >>
> > People that his dad appointed to the Supreme Court.
>
> Really? I didn't know that his dad appointed the majority of the
> American public to the supreme court.
>
> --
> -Rann Aridorn
This just in:
I NOW DECLARE HAMTARO TO BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL ON THE GROUNDS THAT IT
VIOLATES THE CIVIL RIGHTS OF HAMSTERS BY SHOWING THEM IN A DEMEANING AND
DEHAMSTERIZING WAY WHICH IS TOTALLY AT ODDS WITH REALITY!!!
-Wayd Wolf, who does not want Hamsterdance: The Resurrection, Chapter VI on
DVD EVER!
no one in particular
"Cerulean" <ma...@cerulean.st> wrote in message
news:3d8ab2a5...@velox.critter.net...
> Quoth Wayd:
>
> > We don't have rulers. We have temps.
>
> Our current President is in power because his father was President,
> and you'll have a hard time convincing me there's a bigger reason.
> Some of us are wondering if we'll have to revolt from under a King
> George III all over again.
I've been an ardent supporter of gun ownership and the Second Ammendment
for years. I did my paranoid-of-permanent-government phase for about six
months when I was fifteen. Then I noticed that almost everyone screaming
about it was actually left of center, the Democrats held over 60% of elected
seats with nearly imperial adhesion(Jamie Whitten anyone?) their cherished
welfare was structured to keep people on it and not to get people working,
that they were endlessly going on about not being racists, but based the
need to control shotguns and hunting rifles on media images of black kids
with MAC-10s, and so on.
(Note to inevitable cheap shot artists ready to scream racist: I was
once engaged to a black woman, one of the greatest teachers I ever had was a
black woman, I live in an overwhelmingly non-white-bread city, etc. Don't
even go there. 90% of racism charges are leveled by whites on behalf of
minorities and not by the supposed victims themselves who'd much prefer to
just get on with raising a family, making money, providing for college for
the kids, etc., than be dragged out to the latest liberal "I am not a
racist" breast-beating event for paranoid white people.)
The only permanent government we need to worry about is the left wing
which does exactly what one well known name said they should: ask for the
impossible and then when a heroic effort was made to address the impossible,
act as though they never made the demand and ask for some other impossible
thing, all the while taking whatever they got and never giving an inch. This
has led to the idea that my neighbors have a right to decide if I make too
much money, my property actually being "lent to me" by the state, and that I
exist not for my own ends, but for theirs. No more. Uh uh. Not on my watch.
As much as I'm sick of some of the administration's antics, they're
temporary. The real entrenched power is the left and they need to get their
fingers out of my wallet, out of home, and out of my life.
-Wayd Wolf, who believes a course in true economics should come ahead of
French history in high school...
Don Sanders
says...
>
> (Note to inevitable cheap shot artists ready to scream racist: I was
> once engaged to a black woman, one of the greatest teachers I ever had was a
> black woman, I live in an overwhelmingly non-white-bread city, etc. Don't
> even go there. 90% of racism charges are leveled by whites on behalf of
> minorities and not by the supposed victims themselves who'd much prefer to
> just get on with raising a family, making money, providing for college for
> the kids, etc., than be dragged out to the latest liberal "I am not a
> racist" breast-beating event for paranoid white people.)
>
You won't hear me screaming anymore, it took awhile but I've grown a
thicker skin. Although it itches a little and I have to spend tons on
moisturizer, it seems to be helping. Carry on, I'll sit on the
sidelines and enjoy the popcorn.
--
Don Sanders.
Charles Gray
<wayd...@nothotmail.com> wrote:
and the sheet and burning cross brigade were dems?
In truth, our system works because it's a positive control system--
both parties are constrained by how the public views them. During the
60's and 1970's, civil rights and "honest" government were taken over
by the democrats, not the least because the republicans made the very
great error of resisting needed adjustements, and became the party of
segrigation and white supremacy in the public mind.
Now, many years later, they've become the party of small
government, while the democrats are increasingly being seen as the
party of government run out of control. Whether that will continue to
hurt them depends on how far some of these corporate scandals go.
The sad fact is that when either party feels that it has a total
lock on the government, it starts feathering its bed. The Republicans
tend to move towards a very probusiness, stance, while the democrats
start building their buearacratic empires, while making it illegal to
shoot someone in your house even if he has a gun. (Truth, check some
case law in 1970's, califonria.).
The way to keep both parties honest is to keep power centered in
districts that aren't full of yellow dog democrats or their
republican equivelants .(yellow dog-- old joke that in some places
youcould run a yellow dog and he'd get elected if he was a democrat).
That's what's scaring me now-- the fact that more and more districts
are so locked up that the parties don't have to work for htem-- 'cause
whenever they start taking votes for granted, sure as shooting, that's
when all hell will break loose.
Bill Marcum
Rann Aridorn <rann...@attbi.com> wrote:
> Bill Marcum <bma...@iglou.com> was so distracted by the Puma Twins
> doing a poledance that they wrote:
>
>>Hi! I'm a democrat! Listen to me bitch! Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
>>bitch biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! Lie lie lie lie lie whine bitch whiiiine!
>
Rann Aridorn
poledance that they wrote:
> Yup, that's the republicanazi idea of an exact quote.
Pffft. Whatever. That's one of the most pathetic attempts at a comeback
I've ever seen. Try making it all the way through junior high and see if
you don't pick up some better material.
Ken Pick
You know, if Bush really *was* Adolf Hitler II, Cheney *was* Goebbels
II, Ashcroft *was* Himmler II, and the Republicans *were* National
Socialists, I doubt very much you'd be saying *anything* against them
at all, much less screaming from the rooftops how you dare not speak
above a whisper.
It's always easy to be the Brave Rebel (TM) and Poor Martyr (TM) when
you're not in any real danger at all. Look at all those Net nooks
(like mhirtes) who talk big as long as whoever they're trashing is
safely out of fist range.
If you want to play the Good Guy (TM) Rebels against the Evil Empire
(TM), I suggest you try the Star Wars Role-playing Game instead.
Try rec.games.frp.misc, *not* alt.fan.furry....
Redfysh
news:9efdce3a.02092...@posting.google.com:
> You know, if Bush really *was* Adolf Hitler II, Cheney *was* Goebbels
> II, Ashcroft *was* Himmler II, and the Republicans *were* National
> Socialists, I doubt very much you'd be saying *anything* against them
> at all, much less screaming from the rooftops how you dare not speak
> above a whisper.
How true.
It's not like we have secret police or a ministry of homeland security.
Plus, we do not invade other countries on thinly veiled excuses, or jail
people without charges. Well, maybe we are ready to march into Iraq and
shove Democracy down their throats. It's good enough for us, and so it is
good enough for them. Maybe we did hold terrorists prisoner without
formal charges - but hey, they are criminals! They have no rights. Zero
tolerance, I say.
The preceding sarcasm was brought to you by the letter "F" and "Boot
World".
--
Redfysh
Cerulean
>You know, if Bush really *was* Adolf Hitler II, Cheney *was* Goebbels
>II, Ashcroft *was* Himmler II, and the Republicans *were* National
>Socialists, I doubt very much you'd be saying *anything* against them
>at all, much less screaming from the rooftops how you dare not speak
>above a whisper.
>
>It's always easy to be the Brave Rebel (TM) and Poor Martyr (TM) when
>you're not in any real danger at all.
So I shouldn't complain if they aren't yet coming for me? Gee, I can't
think of any German analogy for that, you must be right. Let's all
wait until it has gotten so bad that it is too late to say anything,
as you say, before worrying if there could be a problem.
Rann Aridorn
poledance that they wrote:
> So I shouldn't complain if they aren't yet coming for me? Gee, I can't
> think of any German analogy for that, you must be right. Let's all
> wait until it has gotten so bad that it is too late to say anything,
> as you say, before worrying if there could be a problem.
It's hard to believe that someone with such an intelligent comic strip
can be so bloody stupid.
Cerulean
>It's hard to believe that someone with such an intelligent comic strip
>can be so bloody stupid.
_You're_ surprised? I seem to recall someone hanging around here
recently who would stand against the prudes and gaybashers of aff in
the name of freedom of expression, but this dittohead couldn't
possibly be the same guy... MAYBE there's a lesson to be learned about
there being better ways to judge character than party membership and
the "left-right" scale. Anyway, thanks, I think.
thetal...@mailandnews.com
> Quoth Ken Pick:
>
> >You know, if Bush really *was* Adolf Hitler II, Cheney *was* Goebbels
> >II, Ashcroft *was* Himmler II, and the Republicans *were* National
> >Socialists, I doubt very much you'd be saying *anything* against them
> >at all, much less screaming from the rooftops how you dare not speak
> >above a whisper.
> >
> >It's always easy to be the Brave Rebel (TM) and Poor Martyr (TM) when
> >you're not in any real danger at all.
>
> So I shouldn't complain if they aren't yet coming for me? Gee, I can't
> think of any German analogy for that, you must be right. Let's all
> wait until it has gotten so bad that it is too late to say anything,
> as you say, before worrying if there could be a problem.
I take you're alluding sarcastically to this:
http://serendipity.magnet.ch/cda/niemoll.html
As usual, you're right, Cerulean. Unfortunately, subtlety is wasted
on AFF. :{
--
There are 700 million articles in the Google Usenet archive. This
has been one of them.
M. Mitchell Marmel
<thetalkingfox-2...@1cust87.tnt2.bloomington.in.da.uu.net>,
thetal...@mailandnews.com wrote:
> I take you're alluding sarcastically to this:
>
> http://serendipity.magnet.ch/cda/niemoll.html
>
> As usual, you're right, Cerulean. Unfortunately, subtlety is wasted
> on AFF. :{
"First they came for the cigarettes and I didn't speak up because I
don't smoke. Then, they came for the alcohol, and I didn't speak up
because I don't drink. When they came for the chocolate I reached for
my gun and ...oops!"
- from www.nancybuttons.com
-MMM-
no one in particular
"Don Sanders" <noo...@myemail.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.17f6ea5b9...@news.fur.com...
(snip)
> You won't hear me screaming anymore, it took awhile but I've grown a
> thicker skin. Although it itches a little and I have to spend tons on
> moisturizer, it seems to be helping. Carry on, I'll sit on the
> sidelines and enjoy the popcorn.
>
> --
> Don Sanders.
Just more than a bit peeved by the tendency online or offline of the
left to scream racism(or sexism, or homophobia, or any other ism) against
anyone who disagrees with them, Don. It's insane to have to offer a list of
things to show evidence that you're not, but that's where it inevitably goes
with the left.
As my ex said, "fuck them. Have you ever seen one of them visit Stowe
Village after dark? They don't give a fuck. If they did, they'd live
downtown and not in those mansions near where the governor lives. Then we
might see some of that tax money reach us like they always say it's supposed
to."
Of course, it's now socially acceptable to laugh at Rodney King asking
plaintively if we can all get along. That should tell you how sick a joke
MLK's dream is to those whose political aspirations rest on making sure
everyone is perpetually peeved and at each others' throat, from the
sandalistas at the local college to the people in government who thrive on
endless accusations of things that were never thought or believed.
It's one more thing I've had enough of and won't tolerate anymore. I
have it sitting on the shelf next to the claim that being a lonely
dysfunctional friendless virgin is a noble quality of furrydom, the concept
of my hard earned money being not actually mine but a kind gift of the
benevolent state, and that believing there are inherent differences between
boys and girls makes you a sexist as evil as a serial killer. Extremism in
defense of egomaniacal delusion is no virtue and anger at heartless
jingoistic insult no vice.
The left is wrong, and hurtful, and I've had it with them. No more of
their shit will be swallowed.
-Wayd Wolf, approaching several anniversaries at once...
P.S.
I can still remember her scent, her warmth, her voice, as easily as when
it was. While I may one day forgive the arrogance of telling me my love for
her was impossible, I will never excuse the horrible things said of us in
the name of liberalism. In a world equal to its propaganda, things should
have been happier. But the world never does live up to itself does it?
no one in particular
> Quoth Rann Aridorn:
>
> >It's hard to believe that someone with such an intelligent comic strip
> >can be so bloody stupid.
>
> _You're_ surprised? I seem to recall someone hanging around here
> recently who would stand against the prudes and gaybashers of aff in
> the name of freedom of expression, but this dittohead couldn't
> possibly be the same guy... MAYBE there's a lesson to be learned about
> there being better ways to judge character than party membership and
> the "left-right" scale. Anyway, thanks, I think.
There's a difference between "being yourself" and separating yourself
from everything even remotely normal. When I told people not to give a fuck
what mundanes thought of furry, I meant it. Unfortunately, that was
reinterpreted to mean that one should escalate one's perversions to as great
a height as reachable to spite mundania. "See, Wayd? I'm doing like you
said. I'm not caring what mundanes think and I'm having lots of fun fucking
these stuffed toys. Granted I'm still a virgin at 26 and have no friends,
and am constantly threating to kill myself unless you send me a picture of
you having sex in a fursuit, but I really am happy, Wayd."
NO FUCKING WAY!!!
Get a clue, Cerulean. I NEVER EVER meant that fetishes should become a
total way of life and that I was here to solve every damn personal problem
of every fur who could reach out from under a rock and use AIM/ICQ. And I
NEVER EVER meant in any way shape or form to give anyone the remotest idea
that my mere willful ignorance of their silly passions could be translated
into avid agreement. Just because I choose to ignore the furversions of
others and not go to war over it does not denote condoning them as a
lifestyle, much less being a fellow practitioner.
Unfortunately, if you give people enough rope to hang themselves in this
fandom, they'll inevitably rig a manowar, a schooner, and a yacht, and since
then, I've had a veritable zoo of zoos and collection of other such yahoos
insist that I extend my tolerance of their differences into the totally
other land of willfully partaking of their fetishes turned all consuming
every minute of every day obsessions. And if I didn't, they interpreted that
to mean we were enemies.
NO FUCKING WAY!!!
I am sick to death of this fandom embracing every idiot idea to ever be
conceived. I am sick of being told by the gays that I can't be bi and have
to go all the way across the preference line. I am sick of being told that
if I'm furry then I must fuck animals. I am fed up with being told that it
isn't enough to merely live and let live but that I have to lend support to
things I don't support. I am riled with the nonsense that being a virgin,
never being able to hold a job beyond McDonald's if that, and having no
friends or social life is a nobility of its own and that furries shouldn't
feel bad about it.
Yes they fucking should because the keys to their own happiness were
always in their own hands. However, furry is overloaded with people who
pride themselves on being openminded because their brains have fallen on the
floor and these people are endlessly coddled and told that they cannot have
any more and that what they do is just fine. Most of the people telling them
that never have to listen to their crying by reading between the lines of
their e-mails and instant messages nor have to try to undo the damage of
that misdirection by trying to overcome their self-esteem challenged state
and argue with them that yes they can have a date, get laid, have a
relationship, get married, have kids, build a career, and fit in and always
could.
This fandom is weirder than finding Don Knotts in your garage at 2:30 am
dressed only in a Speedo with a bottle of Astroglide in one hand and a
peanut butter sandwich in the other muttering incoherently in Swedish.
Trying to ignore it with obscuring cries of bigotry and hatred won't change
it. Taking it seriously and giving the dysfunctional a good swift kick in
the motivation will.
Too bad so many in this fandom are all talk about caring for their
fellow fur and so full of cowardly shit, unwilling to help those who are
unhappy and guide them to normality and acceptance in the real world. Some
of you sick fucks even seem to thrive on the losers as if their existance
makes you look like less pathetic by comparison.
If that's all your fellow fur exists for, to make you comfortable in
being able to point and say, "at least I'm not as bad as them" and you don't
care what happens to them or how truly miserable so many of them are, then
you need to get the fuck out of furry and go find some other place to leech
at the cost of others' lives to build your egos... like politics.
-Wayd Wolf
Redfysh
$1...@raccoon.fur.com:
> There's a difference between "being yourself" and separating
yourself
> from everything even remotely normal.
Do tell. Look everybody ...
Captain Normal is gonna tell us all a story!
Hopefully it has a happy ending, with Wayd finding "wuv".
> Get a clue, Cerulean.
Oh yeah ... smooth ...
That's a page right out of "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
Looks like the true clue bus does not stop at Waydville.
> I am riled with the nonsense that being a virgin,
> never being able to hold a job beyond McDonald's if that, and having no
> friends or social life is a nobility of its own and that furries
shouldn't
> feel bad about it.
Female furries can contact me on how to correct that "virgin" problem.
Send photo and list of interests.
> This fandom is weirder than finding Don Knotts in your garage at
2:30 am
> dressed only in a Speedo with a bottle of Astroglide in one hand and a
> peanut butter sandwich in the other muttering incoherently in Swedish.
Too Much Information.
> Too bad so many in this fandom are all talk about caring for their
> fellow fur and so full of cowardly shit, unwilling to help those who
are
> unhappy and guide them to normality and acceptance in the real world.
Didn't someone already tell Wayd to put up or shut up with this?
Tell us, Wayd, what it takes to be normal and accepted in the real world.
--
Redfysh
Click here to Eject --->E<---
from far away. They come to fulfil their fate: leading men to their
demise, Brothers against Brothers. Many souls will sleep in hell
tonight. Now it's time for WAR!!!
> Get a clue, Cerulean. I NEVER EVER meant that fetishes should become a
>total way of life and that I was here to solve every damn personal problem
>of every fur who could reach out from under a rock and use AIM/ICQ. And I
>NEVER EVER meant in any way shape or form to give anyone the remotest idea
>that my mere willful ignorance of their silly passions could be translated
>into avid agreement. Just because I choose to ignore the furversions of
>others and not go to war over it does not denote condoning them as a
>lifestyle, much less being a fellow practitioner.
Big words from a... SATELLITE DISH INSTALLER WHO LIKES TO TALK ABOUT
THINGS WHICH HE KNOWS NOTHING!!!!
> Unfortunately, if you give people enough rope to hang themselves in this
>fandom, they'll inevitably rig a manowar, a schooner, and a yacht, and since
>then, I've had a veritable zoo of zoos and collection of other such yahoos
>insist that I extend my tolerance of their differences into the totally
>other land of willfully partaking of their fetishes turned all consuming
>every minute of every day obsessions. And if I didn't, they interpreted that
>to mean we were enemies.
What's with this pathological hatred of leftist anything?
(please.. in no more more than 25 words)
> NO FUCKING WAY!!!
YOU CUT MINCE PIES FROM CHILDRENS THIGHS!
> I am sick to death of this fandom embracing every idiot idea to ever be
I CAN STAND YOUR BULLSHIT POSTS NO LONGER!
Choose your weapon sir!
"The German Ideology" or "the sceptical environmentalist"
one of these two tomes of varying correctness and value.
And then we shall BATTLE till one of us is spanked off the newsgroup
FOREVER!
> Yes they fucking should because the keys to their own happiness were
>always in their own hands. However, furry is overloaded with people who
Not always, The way in which they are able to acess and use societies
resources is also important, and that is of course decided by class
and the accident of birth and economics circumstances.
>pride themselves on being openminded because their brains have fallen on the
>floor and these people are endlessly coddled and told that they cannot have
>any more and that what they do is just fine. Most of the people telling them
>that never have to listen to their crying by reading between the lines of
>their e-mails and instant messages nor have to try to undo the damage of
>that misdirection by trying to overcome their self-esteem challenged state
>and argue with them that yes they can have a date, get laid, have a
>relationship, get married, have kids, build a career, and fit in and always
>could.
Stop projecting please.
Don't try to blame the furryfandom for your own problems and failures.
(which are of course manifold, since you are _ONLY_ a satelite dish
installer)
> Too bad so many in this fandom are all talk about caring for their
>fellow fur and so full of cowardly shit, unwilling to help those who are
>unhappy and guide them to normality and acceptance in the real world. Some
>of you sick fucks even seem to thrive on the losers as if their existance
>makes you look like less pathetic by comparison.
>-Wayd Wolf
You Scurvy KNAVE!
FOUL DOG!
DISGUSTING BEAST OF BURDEN!!!
PERSON WHO DOES NOT BRUSH HIS TEETH!!
BITCHSLAPPING!!!
PIMPING IN THE NAME OF DEMOCRACY!!!
GALLOWAY, OH GALLOWAY!!!
PUBLIC SERVICE NOT PRIVATE CHARITY!!!
Cerulean
> Get a clue, Cerulean.
I found a clue, and I'd like to share it with you. You, Wayd, are
incoherent. If you want to argue with ME, argue with me. If you want
to argue with the voices in your head, you can do it on your own time.
I've read through your lengthy babble carefully, and while its
subjects are all very familiar, I cannot fathom what the hell it has
to do with the current conversation or what I said.
RHJunior
>
> This fandom is weirder than finding Don Knotts in your garage at 2:30
am
> dressed only in a Speedo with a bottle of Astroglide in one hand and a
> peanut butter sandwich in the other muttering incoherently in Swedish.
Must.... resist... mental... image... psychological blocks... failing....
brain imploding.... AAAARRRRRHHHHGGH!!!
--
RHJunior
"What was that sound?"
"A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
Dilbert
http://home.ntelos.net/~blue27a
http://UTLT.keenspace.com
http://NPC.keenspace.com
http://nipandtuck.keenspace.com
Kyle L. Webb
RHJunior wrote:
>
> >
> > This fandom is weirder than finding Don Knotts in your garage at 2:30
> am
> > dressed only in a Speedo with a bottle of Astroglide in one hand and a
> > peanut butter sandwich in the other muttering incoherently in Swedish.
>
> Must.... resist... mental... image... psychological blocks... failing....
> brain imploding.... AAAARRRRRHHHHGGH!!!
This...
And then a sig that says:
> "What was that sound?"
> "A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
Uhhh. Yeah... *snicker* Keep workin on him. We'll have him corrupted
before you know it.
Kyle L. Webb
Hartree Fox on yiffnet
Blackberry
>
>[...]
>Uhhh. Yeah... *snicker* Keep workin on him. We'll have him corrupted
>before you know it.
Don Knotts was corrupted a long time ago.
--
"...only the government would call a half cup a reasonable serving of ice
cream."
- Consumer Reports
Don Sanders
says...
> On Fri, 27 Sep 2002 14:27:35 -0500, "Kyle wrote:
> >
> >[...]
> >Uhhh. Yeah... *snicker* Keep workin on him. We'll have him corrupted
> >before you know it.
>
> Don Knotts was corrupted a long time ago.
I would suspect that if Don Knotts was a furry, he would be an
Incredible Mr. Limpet. :)
Er, don't everyone pelt me with rotten fruit all at once, leave some
room for the short throwers. :)
--
Don Sanders.
M. Mitchell Marmel
Don Sanders <noo...@myemail.com> wrote:
> I would suspect that if Don Knotts was a furry, he would be an
> Incredible Mr. Limpet. :)
Loved that film.
-MMM-
Dr. Cat
: "See, Wayd? I'm doing like you
: said. I'm not caring what mundanes think and I'm having lots of fun fucking
: these stuffed toys. Granted I'm still a virgin at 26 and have no friends,
: and am constantly threating to kill myself unless you send me a picture of
: you having sex in a fursuit, but I really am happy, Wayd."
: total way of life and that I was here to solve every damn personal problem
: of every fur who could reach out from under a rock and use AIM/ICQ.
: Unfortunately, if you give people enough rope to hang themselves in this
: fandom, they'll inevitably rig a manowar, a schooner, and a yacht, and since
: I am riled with the nonsense that being a virgin,
: never being able to hold a job beyond McDonald's if that, and having no
: friends or social life is a nobility of its own and that furries shouldn't
: feel bad about it.
You know, Wayd, I'm almost sorry that you've put yourself into contact with
more of the "bottom of the barrel" members of the fandom than you can deal
with without feeling the urge to rant about it. I say almost, because I
think you know as well as I do that you're drawn to that kind of person, by
your own desire to talk to them, try to help them, hang out with them, etc.
If you're surrounded by a bunch of members of that subset of the fandom, it's
because of your own actions, and by your own choosing. Keep doing it if you
want to, stop if you want to, quit griping about it either way. I'm sure you
are able to be of some help to some of them when you talk to them one on one,
but public rants about their "type" isn't going to reach them.
What's really irksome though, is this stereotyping you're doing. Going on
like the 1% bottom of the barrel "loser fanboys" are such a huge percentage
of the fandom you can rant at them in any public furry forum with just some
minor disclaimer that "Oh you well adjusted successful furries with a social
life, this is not aimed at you, you skip this and everyone else read it."
Stereotyping "furry fans" as people who insist others convert to their
sexual preferences, can't hold down a job, are geeky virgins who live in
momma's basement, and all want to jump Fido is something that we consider
bad when the press does it. We consider it bad when the dozen or so "clean
up our fandom" fanatics do it. The only thing that's marginally less bad
when you do it is that you think the "losers" can and will shape up and you
want to see it happen. But it's still just about as bad when you spew out
nasty negative stereotypes of the fandom as when anyone else does so.
The simple fact of the matter is, the vast majority of the people in furry
fandom (some tens of thousands by my estimates) are nowhere near as bad as
the pathetic stereotype you keep vomiting up before us. They simply are
not. Yes, among those tens of thousands there are certainly some few that
are. I've met some of them myself. But they're a TINY MINORITY. Further,
given the incredible unsustainability of such a way of life, over the last
ten years I've noticed that even the few that fall into that "bottom of the
barrel" category mostly straighten up on their own after a few years out of
sheer necessity, and have to be replaced by new young people that don't know
any better yet. The perpetual losers exist, but they're about as rare here
as they are anywhere else.
So I'm sorry if you've been having a rough life lately, but GET OVER IT and
stop spewing negative stereotypes about furry fans and furry fandom. I
thought you were supposed to be on the side of saying the fandom and the
people in it were "good" or something.
Maybe you should cut down the number of charity cases you help out with a
constant outpouring of advice to like five or something, if getting overloaded
makes you come spew this kind of negative emotion on here. I mean really.
*-------------------------------------------**-----------------------------*
Dr. Cat / Dragon's Eye Productions || Free alpha test:
*-------------------------------------------** http://www.furcadia.com
Furcadia - a graphic mud for PCs! || Let your imagination soar!
*-------------------------------------------**-----------------------------*
(Disclaimer: Or he could get a career as a drill sargeant at a training camp
for young werewolves. That'd suit him I think. :X)
Kay Shapero
marm...@drexel.edu says...
Yeppers, it was fun.
BTW- thanks for introducing me to the writings of P.J. O'Roarke -
I picked up Holidays in Hell and it's vastly entertaining. And
I've already learned something useful - what Vanity Fair finds
too weird to publish. So next time one of their reporters shows
up in your vicinity, folks, just quote the article on Lebanon
until they leave again. :->
--
Kay Shapero
reply address munged - change the stuff on the
right of the at sign to earthlink.net
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M. Mitchell Marmel
Kay Shapero <kaysh...@see.my.sig.for.address> wrote:
> > Loved that film.
>
>
> Yeppers, it was fun.
"GAHROONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG!!!" :)
>
> BTW- thanks for introducing me to the writings of P.J. O'Roarke -
> I picked up Holidays in Hell and it's vastly entertaining.
Least I could do; you introduced me to Manning Coles, after all. ;D
>And
> I've already learned something useful - what Vanity Fair finds
> too weird to publish. So next time one of their reporters shows
> up in your vicinity, folks, just quote the article on Lebanon
> until they leave again. :->
Either that or the Brag of the SubGenius...
The Brag of the SubGenius -------------------------
-a fragment.
Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973.
"I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my NOSE! Pardon
my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness!
Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False
Prophets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a
LOAF! For I speak ONLY the fucking TRUTH, and never in my days have I
spoke other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very
one you hear! I say, "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke!" By God,
"Anything for a laugh," I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus,
I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to
walk a foot; I am a human being of the FIRST god damn water! Yes, I'm
the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the
DEVIL under seven tables, I am too INTENSE to die, I'm insured for acts
o' God AND Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews
from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I CANNOT be
tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear NO god damn uniform!
Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a
triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protein tonsil wash! I'm a
bacteriological weapon, I'm ARMED and LOADED! I'm a fission reactor, I
fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when
they plug ME in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in
zero gravity, COME AND GET ME! I've sired retarded space bastards
across the Cosmos, I cook and EAT my dead; YAH-HOOOOO,I'm the Unshaven
Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are
my IDEAL playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels
that turn are behind me; I think BACKWARDS! I do it for FUN! My
imagination is a FUCKING cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me!
They say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well, by God! I
count to a godzillion and ONE! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell
County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature
swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm THICKER, HARDER, and
MEANER than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze YOUR
seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the
future and ransomed it for the past, I made TIME wait up for me, bleed
my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my SPOOR on
the Rock of Ages, WHO'LL TEAR FLESH WITH ME, WHO'LL SPILL THEIR JUICE?
WHO'LL GOUGE WITH ME, WHOSE CANDLE WILL I FART OUT? WHOOP! I'M READY!
So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled
slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not
Insane! I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a SPECTACLE of myself, I am
a SIGHT! My physical type CANNOT be classified by science, my
'familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits! I communicate without
WIRES or STRINGS! I am a Thugee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the
Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the BERMUDA TRIANGLE and didn't
get wet! I circumcise dinosaurs with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip;
I change tires with my TONGUE and my TOOL! Every night I hock up a
lunger and extinguish the SUN! I'm the big-footed devil of Level 14,
who'll come SHOE me? Where's the robot giant who'll try to blow me
down? I've packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my
nether parts, opiates are the MASS of my religion, I TAKE DRUGS! Yes,
I'm a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before
they're picked off the TREE! SPACE monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe
the PYRAMIDS off my shoes before I enter MY house. I'm FUEL-INJECTED,
I'll live forever and remember it afterwards! I'm IMMUNE! I'm
RADIOACTIVE! Come ON and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and
butter my BREAD with the juice! I'M SUPERNATURAL, I bend CROWBARS with
my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt
VOLCANOES in CHINA! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all
the heathen HINDOOS in Asia! YEEEE HAW! GUT BLOWOUT! I am a MORAY
EEL, I am a KOMODO DRAGON, I am a KILLER WHALE BEREFT OF IT'S PUP! I
have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me ALL your
Slack! I told JESUS I wouldn't go to church and He SHOOK MY HAND! I
have my OWN personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't give a
fuck if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any
fucking SLACK after death! I am a god damn VISIONARY, I see the future
and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat BLACK HOLES for
breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle at my DNA with the sheer force
of my mighty WILL! I steer my OWN god damn evolution! I ran 'em out
of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a PROFIT! I'm enlightened, I achieved
"Nirvana" and took it HOME with me. YIP, YIP, YEEEEEEEE! I'm so ugly the
Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at my cuffs!
When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait! They'll NEVER clean MY cage!
Now give me some more of..."
(Tape runs out.)
-MMM-
Kay Shapero
marm...@drexel.edu says...
>
> "GAHROONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG!!!" :)
>
<giggle>
> >
> > BTW- thanks for introducing me to the writings of P.J. O'Roarke -
> > I picked up Holidays in Hell and it's vastly entertaining.
>
> Least I could do; you introduced me to Manning Coles, after all. ;D
>
There's one we both owe Lee Gold, who introduced ME. Also The
Saint and other examples of Great Literature. :->
>
> The Brag of the SubGenius -------------------------
>
> -a fragment.
>
>
<clipped for sanity>
Wow... now there's one that'll go down in the annals of
overkill...
Arty McToon
of "Mr. Limpet" but the film project has not been made just yet.
"M. Mitchell Marmel" <marm...@drexel.edu> wrote in message news:<marmelmm-FFA36C...@velox.critter.net>...
Joe Strike
doing his usual facial contortions which were then 'mapped' onto a fish-face shaped surface - & looked so horrible they
dropped the whole idea. (I also heard there were the usual director/script/actor 'creative differences' that didn't help
either...)
eisenschwarz
super-scurry. Call out the troops now in a hurry! This is what we've
waited for.This is it boys, this is war. Joe Strike
<joes...@nyc.rr.com> is on the line...
>From what I heard, the project was killed (deep-sixed?) 2-3 years ago. Test CGI footage was supposedly shot of Carrey
>doing his usual facial contortions which were then 'mapped' onto a fish-face shaped surface - & looked so horrible they
>dropped the whole idea. (I also heard there were the usual director/script/actor 'creative differences' that didn't help
>either...)
I can't Believe It's Knot butter.
---
Eisenschwarz
Mother winter leaves our land
And opens wide the seas
The lukewarm breeze does beckon me
As it whispers through the trees
It says: Set your sails
And let me take your ship to foreign shores
Take farewell of those near you
And your land of the North!
Arty McToon
Joe Strike <joes...@nyc.rr.com> wrote in message news:<3D9B0524...@nyc.rr.com>...
Joe Strike
Arty McToon
Yeah, the joke should have sent up Flags...Six to be exact.
Is America Great or what? :-)
Joe Strike <joes...@nyc.rr.com> wrote in message news:<3D9B914E...@nyc.rr.com>...