Being Furry.
Stephen Pierce
why. Let us just say that my little world is shattered.. I've been picking up
the pieces. And I've been asking myself, "Why? What caused this to happen?
Why does being furry alway hurt so much, after being so good? What **IS**
furry?"
Unless it's the rum-and-jolt, I think I've found myself an answer. As
someone said eariler ( and was mis-quoted greatly) being furry is like being
gay. Please understand what i mean here. I am *NOT* saying that all furries
are gay, nor am i saying *most* are. I am not even saying one equals another.
I am saying that "Being furry has the characteristics of being gay."
Society condemms us as having made a bad choice. Now I am both gay and furry,
and right now I would go ON THE RECORD saying that I wish that I was neither.
Normals seem to have it made for them.. Common problems for them are 'common'
while furries and gay men (and women) have unique problem rarely covered
anywhere.
I mean, for a normal, my problems would be solved. I know what happens to
normals when they are in my situation. I wish I could proceed like a normal,
but I am not!!! I must find out for myself what furry is and think about
how that applies to my situations.
I have been pretending to be normal for too long. I have gotten engaged
and not practiced furry acts (Mucking for one) in an attempt to free myself!!
I can not, as I have found out. One day with furries brought me back to the joy
of being furry. I lived it, reveled it, dove into being furry and celebrating
furry. Now, I am drinking again, and suicidal, because of my inability to
define furryness and furry reaction to situations.
I *am* furry. Just like I am WHITE, and MALE. I can not change who or what
I am. I can only try to live with it, or deny it and live (like I did live)
unfurfilled and in a depression.
Furries are generally nice, loving people. Quite unlike most people that I
would meet, Furries are generally more interesting, more animated, more alive
than other 'normals'. They are also much more relaxed. They can deal with
their own sexuality, and others'. Being loved, and loving are the core of
living furry as I see it.
Being loved is easy.. Well maybe not, but I find accepting others love to
be the most natural thing to do. Being unkind, being rude or obnoxious
it not my refered method of operation. I do resort to such tactics sometimes,
but I've found normals require it much more often then furries.
Loving is harder. Sharing of the things and people that you love is a big
part of loving others like yourself. (Shit, that's in the bible! I'm athiest)
Sharing is the hardest thing for me to do. I am sometimes quite selfish. I felt
selfish feelings toward another furry, when I saw hir and another furry that
i'd just met making love... But after several soul-searching hours, I came
to the realization that that was ok, that I could always ask to join, and
I would be loved and would love in return.
I did so. It worked very well. So well that I was very happy and 'high'
when we were all finished. I trusted them both very much, and felt VERY
comfortable with both..
Then to make a very long story suddenly short, they violated my trust.
The first furry was perhaps the most important person in my life. I have
totally collapsed. Perhaps I will never recover from this, but I hope that I
will have the courage to live again some day.
I am posting this, half to vent my frustrations and revelations, part
to hear from furries whom might have felt this way. Please, respond and
tell me which way is up. I'm very confused.
Steve "Cerilus, Blacktiger" Pierce
Damon Hill
ego is a centaur): hang in there.
Finding a secure place in fandom and society isn't easy; broaden your
contacts in and out of fandom. If drinking, and more importantly,
depression is a problem, seek professional help with a psychiatrist.
Personal experience with depression has indicated that modern drug
therapy DOES help, though by no means the entire answer.
Interestingly, furry fandom does seem to have a more noticable gay
component. Darned if I know why, and it doesn't affect my enjoyment of
that fandom. I'm rather fond of ladies of the feline purrsuation, and
also mermaids; fantasy and furry fandom seem to have crossovers, as with
anime fandom.
Can't help much with the romantic angle; I'm 43 and still have had no
good luck at romance. About all I can suggest is work on being friends
first, and don't hang onto a relationship that isn't going anywhere.
And darn it, practice safe sex. Too many good people dying for no good
reason. Though admittedly, I'm practicing safe sex simply because I'm
not getting any... :/
--Damon
(Coming through here at very irregular intervals)
Stephen Pierce
Damon Hill <DWH...@delphi.com> wrote:
>Speaking as one who's hetero and only a marginal furry (my preferred alter-
>ego is a centaur): hang in there.
My alter-ego: Tiger. Hanging on.
>Finding a secure place in fandom and society isn't easy; broaden your
>contacts in and out of fandom. If drinking, and more importantly,
>depression is a problem, seek professional help with a psychiatrist.
>Personal experience with depression has indicated that modern drug
>therapy DOES help, though by no means the entire answer.
I've recovered as much as I think I will. Things were hairy for a while
there, but I think the worst is over now (knock on wood). More importantly,
the situation has been resolved, so I'm not living in a limbo concerning
what's going on. It's hard to be irrational and afraid when you know what's
going on. <grin>
>Interestingly, furry fandom does seem to have a more noticable gay
>component. Darned if I know why, and it doesn't affect my enjoyment of
>that fandom. I'm rather fond of ladies of the feline purrsuation, and
>also mermaids; fantasy and furry fandom seem to have crossovers, as with
>anime fandom.
<Shrugs> I dunno either. Something else that struck me as odd (after the con)
was that most of the furries I met were male. Only a handful were female...
<Thoughtful pause>
>Can't help much with the romantic angle; I'm 43 and still have had no
>good luck at romance. About all I can suggest is work on being friends
>first, and don't hang onto a relationship that isn't going anywhere.
Yes, we are still friends (thank god!), and we've realized that we
just weren't going anywhere. I'm just sorry it took what it did for me to
recognize it! Next time, I'll be more perceptive. I promise <-:.
>And darn it, practice safe sex. Too many good people dying for no good
>reason. Though admittedly, I'm practicing safe sex simply because I'm
>not getting any... :/
<-: I can not say that I've ALWAYS practiced safe sex. Shame on me.
However, I've practiced it a good deal of the time, and I'm working on
my average. <-:
>--Damon
>
>(Coming through here at very irregular intervals)
I hope you see my post. Also, thanks for everyone's letters of encouragement.
I *am* answering them, now that I've got time. It's slow going, but I want
to spend as much time writing each response as you all did responding to me.
Fair's fair <-:
Steve
Scott Alan Malcomson
: and not practiced furry acts (Mucking for one) in an attempt to free myself!!
: I can not, as I have found out. One day with furries brought me back to the
: joy of being furry. I lived it, reveled it, dove into being furry and
: celebrating furry. Now, I am drinking again, and suicidal, because of my
: inability to define furryness and furry reaction to situations.
: I *am* furry. Just like I am WHITE, and MALE. I can not change who or
: what I am. I can only try to live with it, or deny it and live (like I
: did live) unfurfilled and in a depression.
Denying that which you are is pointless. It does not change a thing, and
all you can do it realize that who and what you are does not determine
your capacity for right or wrong. Only you, as a sentient being, can do
that. Neither your skin color, nor your gender, nor your sexual
inclination has anything to do with your mores. Why be depressed or
suicidal over any of this?
: Loving is harder. Sharing of the things and people that you love is a big
: part of loving others like yourself. (Shit, that's in the bible! I'm athiest)
So what's that got to do with it? Agreeing that the Bible has some good
things to say doesn't mean you're a flunkie of Oral Roberts! I myself am
Christian, but a lot of other Christians deny that I am because I don't
go to church on Sundays or put a Christfish on my car or "give generously"
to the sleazeballs on Pay-Per-Salvation TV. It's all part of living in
this lovely lunatic nation of ours --- no matter who you are and what you
do, SOMEONE will be more than happy to give you flak. So I listen to what
they have to say, judge it on its merits, and usually stuff it in the
emotional dumpster when all's said and done, and then it's not my problem
anymore. -:)
: Then to make a very long story suddenly short, they violated my trust.
: The first furry was perhaps the most important person in my life. I have
: totally collapsed. Perhaps I will never recover from this, but I hope that I
: will have the courage to live again some day.
: I am posting this, half to vent my frustrations and revelations, part
: to hear from furries whom might have felt this way. Please, respond and
: tell me which way is up. I'm very confused.
That's always a difficult thing to recover from. The only thing I can
suggest to help you is to just say, "Recover". Period. Your period of
mourning will be determined by yourself...if you want it over with today,
or in ten years, that is your choice. Plot a course, set a goal, and TAKE
the day by the tiny hairs. There really is no other way out of it...and
trust me, as one who knows, death (or near-death) is a very painful
experience, without reward or solace. The only way up is the direction you
decide. Good luck.
---LCD
Richard Chandler
reaction to reading this was "This is a parody. Substitute "gay" for "Furry"
and this is a very standard post. Someone is pulling our collective chain."
But that's just me. I'm Cynical.
--
Aieeee!!! The return of the old .sig!
"Ride a motorcycle. Save Gas, Oil, Rubber, Steel, Aluminum, Parking Spaces,
The Environment, and Money. Plus, you get to wear all the leather you want!"
Rich Chandler, DoD #296
Goat
>reaction to reading this was "This is a parody. Substitute "gay" for "Furry"
>and this is a very standard post. Someone is pulling our collective chain."
>
>But that's just me. I'm Cynical.
I think you didn't read the post. It was pretty obvious to me that he
was gay AND furry, which doubled his feelings of being an outcast. Yes, he was
pulling a chain. He was hoping to find compassion on the other end of it, but
he reeled in a brick. May you be so fortunate in your moments of weakness.
<<< GOAT >>>
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Dr. Cat
genuine. After going into more detail than *I* would feel comfortable
posting about any problems I might have in front of a bunch of strangers,
right when it gets up to the part we're presumably desired to feel sympathy
because of, all it says is something vague about 'being betrayed'. And this
after the poster has said he's adjusted to seeing this person be intimate
with someone else, which would be the most obvious guess about how someone
might be betrayed... Whatever the problem though, despite my feline
curiosity I have to say sympathy is best sought from friends through email,
not via a public post.
Dr. Cat