And now fur something completly different... (and flame-free, dammit)
Terry Knight
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[Written when it seemed every second person on the list was Chris :) ]
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First Chris: G'day, Chris!
Second Chris: Oh, Hello Chris!
Third Chris: How are you Chris?
First Chris: A bit crook, Chris.
Second Chris: Where's Chris?
First Chris: He's not 'ere, Chris.
Third Chris: Blimey, it's hot in here, Chris.
First Chris: Hot enough to yiff a bobcat!
Second Chris: That's a strange expression, Chris.
First Chris: Well Chris, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot
enough to yiff a bobcat in here, your Majesty," he said and she smiled
quietly to herself.
Third Chris: She's a good Sheila Chris, and not at all stuck up.
Second Chris: Here! Here's the boss-fellow-list-administrator now! - how
are you Chris?
(Enter fourth Chris with English furry, Michael)
Fourth Chris: 'Ow are you, Chris?
First Chris: G'day Chris!
Fourth Chris: Chris.
Second Chris: Hello Chris.
Fourth Chris: Chris.
Third Chris: How are you, Chris?
Fourth Chris: G'day Chris.
Fourth Chris: Furs, I'd like to introduce man from Pommieland who is
joinin' the OzFurry mailing list.
EveryChris: G'day!
Michael: Hello.
Fourth Chris: Michael Baldwin, Chris. Michael Baldwin, Chris. Michael
Baldwin, Chris.
First Chris: Is your name not Chris?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
Second Chris: That's going to cause a little confusion.
Third Chris: Mind if we call you "Chris" to keep it clear?
Fourth Chris: Furs, I think we better start the contribution to the
mailing list. Before we start, though, I'd like to ask the padre for a
prayer.
First Chris: Oh Terrie Smith, we beseech Thee, Amen!!
EveryChris: Amen!
Fourth Chris: Crack tubes! (Sound of cans opening) Now I call upon Chris
to officially welcome Mr. Baldwin to the OzFurry mailing list.
Second Chris: I'd like to welcome the pommie bastard to God's own anthro
mailing list, and remind him that we don't like stuck-up sticky-beaks or
complete twits here.
EveryChris: Hear, hear! Well spoken, Chris!
Fourth Chris: Chris here collects furry art, Chris there draws furry
females with big tits, and Chris here writes sexy furry stories. And is
also in charge of herding and allocating the vixens.
Third Chris: What's New-Chris going to contribute?
Fourth Chris: New-Chris will be drawing marsupial furries /without/
tits, and posting commentary on the furry world from an OzFurry
perspective on Smith, Winger, Fox, Lomu.
Second Chris: Those are all footy players!
Fourth Chris: Aww, smeg!
Third Chris: Hails of derisive laughter, Chris!
EveryChris: South Fur Lands, South Fur Lands, South Fur Lands, South Fur
Lands, we love you amen!
(1)
Fourth Chris: Crack tube! (Sound of cans opening) Any questions?
Second Chris: New-Chris, are you a Yiffer?
Fourth Chris: Are you a Yiffer?
Michael: What's a Yiffer?
Fourth Chris: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the OzFurry rules:
Rule One!
EveryChris: No Yiffers!
Fourth Chris: Rule Two, no member of the mailing list is to spam the
mailing list in any way at all -- if there's any way of figuring out
your identity. Rule Three?
EveryChris: No Yiffers!!
Fourth Chris: Rule Four, now this quarter, I don't want to catch anybody
not posting. Rule Five,
EveryChris: No Yiffers!
Fourth Chris: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,
EveryChris: No Yiffers!!
Fourth Chris: Right, that concludes the readin' of the rules, Chris.
First Chris: (holds up a soft toy) This here's the Bilby, the emblem of
our list. You can hold it in your hand, or hug it when you're pissed.
(2)
EveryChris: Amen!
First Chris: Right, let's get some Foxy Sheilas.
(A female anthro Bilby in a tight leather dress cheerily bounces in with
an enormous tray full of enormous miscellaneous furry fanzines, videos,
etc.)
Fourth Chris: Okay.
Second Chris: Ah, some entertainment.
Third Chris: This should tide us over 'til lunchtime.
Second Chris: Reckon so, Chris.
First Chris: /Rommel Ignacio/! What's that! (points)
(Cut to dramatic close-up of Fourth Chris's tail. Hold close-up. The
superimposed arrow pointing to the tail.)
Voice Over: Number sixty-nine. The tail.
(1) Subliminal tag - Buy South Fur Lands, the most unique fanzine in all
furrydom. And it's from Down Under, so you know it's good! (shameless
plug)
(2) Pissed as in the British sense (i.e. drunk)
--
Terry Knight | MayFurr@FurryMUCK | may...@ibm.net | Wellington, NZ
=========================================================================
Homepage: http://www.furnation.com/mayfurr/ FurCode1.2: FCF3m/C3fmd
A++>+++ C+ D H- M+ P+ R T W Z++ S# RLCT cno++$ a+ d e+ f h+++ iwf+ p sm*
"I sense a grave disturbance in the Force... as though millions of
wallets had been pulled out - and then suddenly emptied..." - Brunswick
DishRoom1
Octopi vs. The Flame-Throwing Earthworms"! :x)
Jetstone Tigre Dish...@aol.com
M. Mitchell Marmel
>
> Chris's (An OzFurry mailing list parody, a la Monty Python)
Man: I'd like to have a flamewar, please....
;)
-MMM-
Leonard Lion
>Third Chris: Hails of derisive laughter, Chris!
Crikey! Better than being poked in the eye with a hot stick. But shouldn't that
be *howls* of derisive laughter?
--Leonard Lion, owner and proprietor of The Watering Hole
http://members.aol.com/leonrdlion -- My homepage, such as it is
http://www.suburbanjungle.com -- The life, loves, and career of aspiring
supermodel and ferocious predator, Tiffany Tiger.
Jim Groat
dish...@aol.com (DishRoom1) wrote:
:...And now we'll return to our regularly scheduled programme: "The Kung-Fu
:Octopi vs. The Flame-Throwing Earthworms"! :x)
Brought to you by 10-10-321, for lower rate call 10-10-321.
____________________________________________________________________________
Beware of naked bus drivers.
Remove the nospamplease before replying.
Raymond
Still, it IS a good parody...
Dr. Cat
: Man: I'd like to have a flamewar, please....
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to flame you unless you've paid.
(Big kudos to Terry (who I will call Chris from now on) for such a funny
post! And I don't mean Kudos the granola snack bar, I mean kudos as in
accolades. Um, and I don't mean Accolades as in the computer game
company, I mean accolades as in, er, kudos. Oh never mind. Forget I
tried to compliment him at all, it's just too complicated.)
*-------------------------------------------**-----------------------------*
Dr. Cat / Dragon's Eye Productions || Free alpha test:
*-------------------------------------------** http://www.bga.com/furcadia
Furcadia - a new graphic mud for PCs! || Let your imagination soar!
*-------------------------------------------**-----------------------------*
(Disclaimer: Actually some people do get flamed for free, as they "pay"
with the incredibly clever stratagem (or incredibly desired service) or
repeatedly insulting the entire fandom until someone flames them. They
get to argue for nothing, and their flames for free. (Chorus: I want
my... I want my... I want my Yiff-TV.......))
Leonard Lion
<<M. Mitchell Marmel (marm...@drexel.edu) wrote:
: Man: I'd like to have a flamewar, please....
I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to flame you unless you've paid.>>
Given the way some threads have panned out lately, I suggest we skip the Being
Hit on the Head Lessons.