Xydexx Found Innocent, Exonerated of All Charges

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Xydexx Squeakypony

Feb 26, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/26/00

About ten years ago, three life-size ornamental cows were stolen from
the yard of a woman in Scarsdale, NY. Police found one of the cows
while on patrol, but the other two were, as far as I know, never

While it might be convenient and perhaps amusing for me to say that
I---or one of the roving band of lunatics I was associated with in those
days (and in some cases, am still associating with these days)---might
have been somehow responsible for this, there is no way to prove it.
Sure, I've done a lot of crazy things in the past, but that wasn't one
of them.

Could you imagine how silly it would look if this woman dragged me into
court, alleging that I cownapped her precious bovines, with her only
supporting evidence being that she said I did?

A large "Noid" inflatable was stolen from the top of a Domino's Pizza in
Rye, NY around the same time. The local newspaper did report it as a
"pizza fetish gone too far". While it is fun and perhaps intellectually
stimulating to speculate on who might have done such a thing, and what
their motive might be, it should be noted that the culprit was never
caught, and this country is based on the idea that people are innocent
until proven guilty.

I suppose I should get to the point.

Why is it that the folks who say I do so damage to the fandom never have
any evidence to back it up? The burden of proof, after all, is their
responsibility. Throwing around wild accusations just doesn't cut it.
Seriously. If I was really as bad as some people say... if I was really
trying to link my fetishes to furry fandom (as all too many have accused
me of doing in the past)... don't you think I would have done so by now?

Pssst... hey, Burned Furs, I'll let you in on a little secret:

I'm not as bad as people make me out to be.

Y'know... I still act the same way in public at furry cons that I did at
CF6. Before you break out the torches and pitchforks, you _might_ want
to consider the possibility that this is not because I'm unwilling to
change my behavior, but rather because my behavior isn't a problem in
the first place.

And still, we get folks running around like Chicken Little, yelling "Oh
no, Xydexx is a pervert so he _must_ be giving the fandom a bad image.
We shouldn't listen to him because _he's_ part of the problem!"

Excuse me, but what a crock.

I kinda laughed when I read TriGem's little rant on alt.fan.furry the
other day about furry fans needing to take responsibility for their

Uh, surprise: Some furry fans already do.

As most of you probably know, I've been working on building a life-size
inflatable clydesdale. Yep, that's right. Thanks to the diligent
efforts of folks who couldn't find anything concrete to throw at me in
debates on alt.fan.furry, everyone knows about it. Yes, thanks to all
those wonderful folks who---in their unique way of Cleaning Up The
Fandom By Making The Problems As Visible As Possible---decided my
fetishes were an appropriate discussion topic for alt.fan.furry.

And they weren't about to let me derail _that_ discussion, no sir!

What most of you don't know is that I had been talking to a reporter who
was interested in doing a story about the project. I had been talking to
this reporter for about two years, and in all that time never once
mentioned furry fandom. So you can imagine my surprise when this
reporter out of the blue asked me what the connection my inflatable
fetish had to furry fandom.

Do you know what I said?

C'mon, take a guess!

It's easy!

I mean, a big Pervert Superstar like me? Surely I must've said
something _awful_, right? I mean, these people accusing me of harming
fandom's image couldn't have been _lying_ all this time, could they?

I said, in my email cancelling the interview:

"As far as I'm concerned, my inflatable fetish isn't
related to furry fandom, since furry fandom is about
anthropomorphic animals (i.e., animals with human
qualities or characteristics)."

See that? That, right there, is called a big stake right through the
heart of the old "using the fandom to legitimize your fetishes"

So the next time you hear someone going on about all the "harm" I'm
doing to the fandom, please feel free to tell them how absolutely full
of shit they are.

Karl Xydexx Jorgensen / Xydexx Squeakypony, K.S.C.
http://www.xydexx.com [ICQ: 7569393]
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -Walt Disney

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Dwight J. Dutton

Mar 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM3/7/00
> About ten years ago, three life-size ornamental cows were stolen from
> the yard of a woman in Scarsdale, NY. Police found one of the cows
> while on patrol, but the other two were, as far as I know, never
> recovered.

Wierd Al has them. I saw one of them in his video where he does a spoof
of "Devo"

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