Skip to first unread message


Jun 8, 2008, 4:06:27 AM6/8/08
Sunday, June 08, 2008

A+E, Music, Reviews



Mike Mesker

Thursday, June 12
Variety Playhouse


It’s not just son Dweezil playing dad Frank’s music for the “Zappa Plays
Zappa” tribute. He brings along an extended and jaw-droppingly talented
band, including Zappa alumni Steve Vai, Napoleon Murphy Brock and Terry
Bozzio, to faithfully reconstruct the late Zappa’s live show.

Whittled down to a more manageable single disc from the double, two-hour
plus DVD, “Zappa Does Zappa” does papa Frank proud with high-energy
recreations of the elder’s better-known catalog selections. But the
point of the Zappa Plays Zappa band is presenting Zappa’s music live for
those who missed it the first time, or forty- or fiftysomethings wanting
to relive the experience.

That makes this high-quality rehash fine as a concert souvenir, but of
questionable worth for others. Since these songs are already easily
obtainable in their original and arguably definitive versions, buying
faithful reproductions seems to contradict Dweezil’s concept of exposing
Frank’s music—not covers of it—to a larger audience. Additionally,
tracks like “Florentine Pogen” and “Cosmic Debris” are already available
in multiple studio and live configurations by Frank and his original
band(s), making these admittedly excellent renditions somewhat superfluous.

For newcomers, Zappa’s combination of progressive rock, jazz, doo-wop,
classical, metal and blues, all driven by his deep, dry, spoken vocals
and devastatingly sardonic sense of humor, is unique and timeless. Revel
in this music’s subtleties, acrobatic time changes and challenging,
often confrontational rollercoaster intensity. And after you’re
dutifully impressed, buy some of his dozens of albums or compilations,
all of which have been zealously kept in print by the Zappa family.
Dweezil won’t mind.

2 STARS - Hal Horowitz

As of the day this message is being posted there are, lacking an
unexpected alternate outcome, 226 days remaining in the imperial
presidency of George W. Bush


Jun 9, 2008, 6:56:13 AM6/9/08

The Bill Cmelak of Antigo, Wisconsin "tribute" website:

Amateur radio license KB9TIX. HAMs, just be aware that when you talk
to this person, that you are talking to the town fool and that Cmelak
is an evil piece of crap.

Cmelak barely got out of high school at Milwaukee's Juneau High

My name is William Bill Cmelak. I am a fat and stupid shithead. I
clean septic tanks for a living. I am emotionally disturbed and
never could hold down a regular job - that's why I have so much time
on my hands to watch television, read the news, and repost shit to
newsgroups that you could just as easily read at Yahoo News.

I also spam newsgroups using the following sockpuppets:

25th Century Quaker
Bug Bomb Pest Removal
Jose Gaspar

I have been stalking another guy for almost four years because I am
jealous of him and because he hurt my widdle feelings and I just
cannot get over the pain.

I live in an old singlewide mobile home here:

William Cmelak
N9340 Pickerel Creek Rd
Pearson, WI 54462-8140

(According to the Langlade County Proeprty Assessor's office Cmelak's
"massive" estate that he brags about is 7 acres of scrub land valued
at a grand total of $33,500 [$14.3K for the property and $19.2K for
the improvements] and a fair market value of a whooping $37,000!!!.
The stupid bastard has been working his ass off for years and bragging
about a mobile home lot that isn't worth as much as most people's
cars! That, and he's behind on paying his property tax. **TRAILER
TRASH!!!** Wonder if Cmelak can even afford running water?)

I drive a 25 year old ex-military truck because that's all that I can

It's an old diesel truck and I drive that because I know that I can
steal heating oil to burn in the truck when I cannot afford diesel.
Which is most of the time.

My teeth are black and worn to the gum. I cannot afford to see a

I used to brag about being retired until someone found out that I was
a handyman. Like I said, I pump septic tanks for a living, when I can
get work.

If my momma hadn't died and left this mobile home for me I would be

My family says that I sponge off of them. They called me a bum and a

My brother and Daddy drank too much and it killed them. I used to be
an alcoholic, but I had to quit. Now I go around preaching to everyone
else about them being drunks when they drink two beers.

Wonder why I don't have any friends?

I flunked out of trade school. I went to a slow-learner's high
school. Everyone used to pick on me in high school.

I spend most of my spare time at my computer using an old dial up
connection. The rest of the time I watch television 24/7.

My biggest achievement in life was being mentioning in my tiny little
hometown newspaper for spotting something odd in the crossword. It
wasn't a mistake or anything, but it just made me laugh.
Bahahahahhahahahahhahaha!!! I wrote to the newspaper and they
mentioned my name. My relatives all said that was because the
newspaper thought that I was an oddball, but I don't see things that

I am really good at trivia, even if none of the trivia that I know is
important stuff. No one gets my jokes, and no one would ever hire me
to supervise anyone else, not even at the convenience store where I
used to work. But it doesn't matter - I are smarter than them.

No one will give me the respect that I know that I deserve.

Four years ago I was approached by an old woman named Karen Anderson
who talked me into helping her stalk and troll this guy. She had had a
crush on him and he kicked her to the curb. She drove to his town and
followed him around for two days without him knowing it. She is also
jealous of him. Anderson has stalked several other men before.

She lives at:

Karen Anderson
3590 Narrows View Lane NE #102
Bremerton, WA 98310

Anderson and I are both addicted to stalking. We know that what we do
is wrong, and we see this other guy kick our asses all the time, but
we just don't have the willpower to stop stalking him.

I am so jealous, jealous, JEALOUS of that guy that it makes me want to
BURST. I spend all of my time researching what he does, where he
lives. Hell, I even follow his eBay account.

This dude that I hate is popular in his town and community and I HATE
that. So I make up crap about him and his girlfriend and post it to
newsgroups and generally make a nusiance out of myself. Most of what
I make up is a complete figment of my imagination but if I repeat my
lies often enough maybe someone stupid will believe them.

This guy just drives me CRAZY. He's president of a motorcycle club,
he's involved with several charities. Everyone that meets him seems
to like him. I am so damned jealous that I cannot stand it.

Did I mention that I am insanely jealous?

He lives in a warm climate, and I am stuck here in the sticks of
Wisconsin, barely able to afford to keep warm.

He travels all the time and I haven't been out of Wisconsin in years.

He is active, and my health issues keep me from leaving the house.

He motorcycles all over the country and into Mexico and I cannot ride
any more. I hate that. And I hate those damned Mexicans, even though
that doesn't make me a racist because I said so.

I tell people that I am a big, tough Harley dude but the truth is that
I only owned a Sportster - sort of an entry-level Harley - for 6
months before it got repo'd.

I had a good job once. Back in 1998. Then I fucked up, got fired,
and my wife left me. Now I cannot hold down a regular job.

This guy makes more money than I do and that can't be right. I just
know there's something wrong there.

He has a girlfriend that loves him and takes care of him and I haven't
had a date with a woman for over 10 years. And when he was single he
got laid all of the time. Now that's not right either.

My 400 lb. wife - Lori Cmelak - left me. And I miss the little
heffer, even if I did have to smack her a time or two to keep her in
line. But she won't talk to me any more, and I hate that.

What can I possibly do? I am so unhappy. I'd blow my brains out but I
cannot afford the bullets.

Signed, Bill Cmelak of Antigo, Wisconsin

Reply all
Reply to author
0 new messages