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alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ: Notes and Comments (Part 1 of 9)

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Robbert Heederik

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Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part1

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |
| Part 1 of 9 |
| |
| Maintained by Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su) |
| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Introduction to ver.2.6

Privet! This FAQ part was originaly conceived as a helpful guide
for novices anf foreigners. But step by step ( comments by comments
in fact :-) as it grew and happily put on weight due to good will and
zeal of FZ fans over the world many compatriots of Mr. Zappa also begun
to feel that it's a useful pile of bytes well suitable for the hard
drives of their home silicon pets.
So it goes and goes and goes.
And there are real chance that we'll end up some day with something
worth to bestow upon next generations and generations of hungry freaks.
- Hey! Bob! Look that's my grandy been wa...@yawaka.mudshark.com
once explained that those mysterious Baby Snakes was nothing more and
nothing less than just tiny zircon-encrusted thing between our sister
Mary legs! Woow!
So you go right way, comrades, - as they used to bark on Communist's Party
Congress of my glorious and warmed by FZ secret words for nights and days
youth!
HOTCHA!

Technical details

From this version on the first digit of a version number is some absurd
sign that just help me to keep track of structural revision of this
document. The next numbers is for all of you and is in fact the number of
albums being commented below, so
ver. 2.6
Is second edition of six albums strong N&C. Also to make your life
easy I decided to put the list of this albums at the head of the doc.
The meaning of chinagraphy +/=/! in this list is very simple and I hope
not so hard to understand :-)))
= ...... no chages since last issue
+ ...... interesting additions
! ...... brand new item
That's almost all for today. As always any suggestion, corrections,
additions will be gratefully accepted by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Introduction to ver.2.16.1

Privet! -) Pronounced preevat and means Hi!
This new dot with digit behind it appeared as a result of a great job
of another great Italian Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>, who
put together for your pleasure the whole lot of YCDTOSA Notes and Comments.
He wanted it to be part of my Siberian N&C collection. So now you have a
little bit of southern sun in this snowy Nanooks doc:-)
It is 16.1 not simple 17 because Francesco also wants to keep on maintainin'
his nice stuff on his own. So no beautiful UNIX shell style there :-) but hope
you enjoy it anyway.
Vladimir

ALBUMS LIST
-----------

1. Lumpy Gravy......................=
2. We're Only In It For The Money...=
3. Uncle Meat ..................... =
4. Burnt Weeny Sandwich ........... =
5. Weasels Ripped My Flesh ........ +
6. Chunga's Revenge ............... =
7. Fillmore East, June 1971 ....... +
8. 200 Motels ..................... =
9. Just Another Band From L.A...... =
10. Grand Wazoo .................... =
11. Over-nite Sensation ............ +
12. Apostrophe ..................... =
13. One Size Fits All .............. =
14. Bongo Fury ..................... =
15. Zoot Allures ................... +
16 Zappa In New York .............. !
17. Studio Tan ..................... +
18. Joe's Garage ................... =
19. The Man From Utopia ............ =
20. Broadway The Hard Way ........ ..=
21. YCDTOSA, Vol.I-VI............... =

LUMPY GRAVY
===========

Notes and Comments
ver.12-Dec-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from e-vaults of
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>

titles and times from
dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)

special thanks to
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
Mike Lambiaso <71052...@CompuServe.COM>

IS THIS PHASE 2 OF: WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY?

#About Frank's T-shirt mystery
#
# From: gwor...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham ) writes:
# Ok, pony up: I'm pretty sure that in one of the late great issues of
# Society Pages, this was discussed. It appears to be an industrial
# baseball team T-shirt that FZ picked up somewhere. And it would seem
# that it was pronounced pipe-co.
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# I've read that FZ interview too, so I'm with you on this, Gary.
#From Society Pages (US Edition) Issue No. 7, Page 20
# Den Simms: Ok. What was "Pipco"?
# Frank Zappa: Pipco ... it baffled me for a long time. Turns out to
# be a little league shirt from Santa Barbara, a Santa
# Barbara pipe company, I believe.
# DS (laughs): So, maybe it was [pronounced] "Pipe-Co".
# FZ: Yeah.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# That same t-shirt can be seen also on the front cover of WOIIFTM CD
# and on 1966 MOI concert photo ( check D.Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# book pp.78-79 )

Lumpy Gravy, Part One 15:35
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Index Point CD Booklet Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ---------------------- ------------
1. The Way I See It, Barry 1 1 00:00
2. Duodenum 2 2 00:06
3. Oh No 3 3 01:38
4. Bit Of Nostalgia 4 4 03:41
5. It's From Kansas 5 5 05:16
6. Bored Out 90 Over 6 6 05:46
7. Almost Chinese 7 7 06:17
8. Switching Girls 8 8/9/10 06:42
9. Oh No Again
10. At The Gas Station
11. Another Pickup 9 11 11:05
12. I Don't Know If I Can Go 10 12 11:59
Through This Again

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# So, what we see from carrying out this exercise is that Track 1
# has an error in it, 3 index points appear under a single index.
# This should be added to any `error' file that is being kept of
# Zappa releases.
# Having checked the elapsed times under both play and pause
# modes, some of you might find a difference of -1 second for some of
# the indexes, so don't blame me if the times don't exactly match what
# you see on your own player.

4. Bit Of Nostalgia 03:41
-----------------
A bit of nostalgia for the old folks.

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( short hot piece )

# Can anyone identify music? Is it something from Cucamonga years?
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Do you mean the really short piece during Bit Of Nostalgia, or the
# longer piece (the fast old jazz one) during It's From Kansas? Either
# way, neither piece is from Cucamonga Years. (I don't recognise either,
# by the way.)
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Both, of course :-)))

I'm advocating dark clothes.
If I'm not alone, I wonder if I've been asleep
As long as I have.
Did you ever live in a drum?

# From _Civilization Phaze III_ booklet
#
# In 1967, we spent about four months recording various projects (Uncle
# Meat, We're Only In It For The Money, Ruben and The Jets and Lumpy Gravy)
# at APOSTOLIC STUDIOS, 53 E. 10th ST NYC. One day I decided to stuff a
# pair of U-87's in the piano, cover it with heavy drape, put a sand bug
# on the sustain pedal and invite anybody in the vicinity to stick their
# head inside and remble incoherently about the various topics I would
# suggest to them via talk-back system.
# This set-up remained in the place for several days. During that time,
# many hours of recording was made, most of it useless. Some people who
# took the challenge included Spider Barbour ( leader of the rock group
# _Crysalys_, which was also recording at Apostolic when we weren't booked
# in, All-Night John (the studio manager), Gilly Towney (sister of the
# guy who owned the studio), Monica (the receptionist), Roy Estrada and
# Motorhead Sherwood (members of the _Mothers Of Invention_), Louis
# Cuneo (a guy who used to come to our live shows at the Garrick Theater
# and laugh like a psychotic turkey), and a few others.
# Some of this dialog -- after extensive editing -- found its way into
# the _Lumpy Gravy_ album.

5. It's From Kansas 05:16
----------------

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( fast old jazz )

# Can anyone identify this piece? Was it used for CC somewhere else?
#
# Hope I place it right Brian
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# Another sped-up tune is the unofficially released "Revenge of the Knick
# Knack People" (which can be found, among other places, on Apocrypha). I
# think this song was produced around the same time as Lumpy Gravy, it's too
# bad that RYKO didn't include it on the CD.

6. Bored Out 90 Over 05:46
-----------------

Bored out .90 over with three Stromberg 97's.
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: bcm...@omnifest.uwm.edu (Bill Cmelak)
# Yes, that's right! Hot rod jargon it is. Stromberg 97's were very popular
# carburetors on many old hot rods. I'm not positive, but, I think the yellow
# hotrod coupe in Amerrican Graffiti had 6 of them on the engine. (It has 6 of
# some kind anyway.)
# As for .90 over, that's the amount that combustion cylinders are bored out
# in thousandths of an inch. Either to clean up worn cylinder walls or just to
# enlarge the combustion chamber size to gain more power. Most likely the later
# in this instance.

7. Almost Chinese 06:17
---------------

Good bread, because I was making, ah, two-seventy-one an hour.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#:-) See for details _10. At The Gas Station_

10. At The Gas Station
------------------

I worked in a cheesy newspaper-company for a while,
but that was terrible,
I wasn't making enough money to build anything.

(Louie Louie!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# One of endless references to this pop standard

And he needed a job,
so I gave him a job at the gasstation at which I was fired
because, you know, he was gonna work there.
And he had his car in a rack and he was lubing it
^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# grease rack - lifts the car above ground for working from underneath

Then I went to work in an aircraft-company and ah...
I was building these plans.
I worked on the XB 70.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# This is supposed to be a real monster of supersonic strategic bomber with
# Wagnerian nickname _Valkyrie_. 6 x General Electric XY-93 engines,
# 32 meters width, 56.38 m length and weight 205,000 kg. October 14, 1965
# one of the experimental beastes ( I believe welded by Frank roadie :-) hit
# 3,218 km/h mark on the fantastic altitude - 21,336 km. Despite that never
# was manufactured as mass product B-70 (may be no one could weld it correctly
# because, you know, Sherwood have found another job :-)))

I was the last welder on there, but it was pretty good bread
because I was makin' ah 2.71 an hour,
^^^^^^^
makin' a hundred and a quarter a week,

#:-)) Here is it! Details you desperately need in _7. Almost Chinese_

So I got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds,
but I was going with this chick at that time,
and by the time I got the Olds running decently,
she went out and tore up the engine and the trans and,
^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# trans = transmission

11. Another Pickup 11:05
--------------

////^^^/////^^^^/////^^^^////// sped up piece of music

# From: fne...@aol.com (Fnerdd)
# Back in the days of vinyl I had a record player that would play at 16RPM,
# half the speed of a 33RPM LP. I played some of Lumpy Gravy's sped-up parts
# on it, and it sounded just like regular traditional jazz.
# Also were all the funny little snorks and coughs, which sounded like
# regular folk snortin' & coughin' at half-speed.

12. I Don't Know If I Can Go Through This Again 11:59
--------------------------------------------

All right!
I don't know if I can go through this again.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Make sure this doesn't come across as someone saying "All right!" as in
# "everything's great." I think it's the conductor saying "All right" as in
# "we'll do another take now," and the unidentified player says "Ohhhh"
# before "I don't know...."

13.08
^^^^^/////^^^^^/////^^^^^/////
13.45

# That beautiful piece of serious music can be found between 1.48 and 2.25
# seconds of WOIIFTM track _Mother People_ too. (Times from old Zappa Records
# WOIIFTM/LG CD ZAP 13)

Lumpy Gravy, Part Two 15:42
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ------------
1. Very Distraughtening 1 00:00
2. White Ugliness 2 01:33
3. Amen 3 03:55
4. Just One More Time 4 05:28
5. A Vicious Circle 5 06:26
6. King Kong 6 07:38
7. Drums Are Too Noisy 7 08:21
8. Kangaroos 8 09:19
9. Envelops The Bath Tub 9 10:16
10. Take Your Clothes Off 10 13:58

1. Very Distraughtening 00:00
--------------------

Ah, there it is again.
It's a little pig with wings.
I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It's very distraughtening.

# Here is what was said about LG dialogs in CPIII booklet.
#
# "Because all the dialog had been recorded in (to borrow a phrase from
# _Evelyn, A Modified Dog_) "pan-chromatic resonance and other highly
# ambient domains", it was not always possible to make certain edits
# sound convincingly, since the ambience would vanish disturbingly
# at the edit point. This severely limited my ability to creat the illusion
# that various groups of speakers, recorded on different days, were
# talking to each other. As a result, what emerged from texts was a vague
# plot regarding pigs and ponies, threatening the lives of the characters
# who inhabit a large piano.
#
#CC
# And about subjects on _This is All Wrong_ of CPIII
#
# MOON: This is all wrong. This is all wrong.
# F.Z.: The pigs run the city, the ponies run the TV station and you wanted
# to apply for a job.

Everything in the universe is, is, is made of one element,
which is a note, a single note.
Atoms are really vibrations, you know.
Which are extensions of the BIG NOTE, everything's one note.
Everything, even the ponies.
The note, however, is the ultimate power,
but see the pigs don't know that,
the ponies don't know that.

# From: s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)
# Date: Mon, 01 Aug 94 18:27:47 GMT
# Yesterday, I was doing a bit of channel hopping with my tv when I bumped
# into a German guy ( a doctor) named Hans Jenny (I think it was Hans
# anyway). This program amazed me, since mr. Jenny did some experiments with
# 'soundscopes' or something in his spare time. He would unleash some sound
# of a certain frequency on different kinds of material, like sand, water,
# sault, crystals or whatever. He found out some pretty amazing stuff, like
# the patterns were often 5-pointed stars (like many flowers and even cells)
# or resembled certain shells you can find at the beach, or even made
# swirling patterns that resemble galaxies! (BTW, he resented to these
# comparisances (sp.??) since they weren't really scientific, but what the
# hell). He (like Frank did) pointed out the possibility that the universe
# began with one SOUND (aka THE BIG NOTE) rather then THE BIG BANG. I wonder
# if Frank ever heard of this guy and his experiments. Anway, it made me
# realize once again that Frank was much much more than just a composer/
# musician. It's a way of live...
#
# From: eri...@lunatix.icce.rug.nl (Erik-Jan Vens)
# Funny, I've also seen this program. But it didn't hit me at that time. Now
# it does, because I know so much more now.
# According to mystics the basic sound of the universe is denoted by /Om/,
# the first word of the Tibetan mantra: /Om Mani Padme Hum/: "the sound of
# silence, the diamond in the lotus".
# It is this sound which emerges when the energy of life is experienced. It
# is an experience which cannot be experienced by simply repeating the mantra,
# but which comes all by itself from your consciousness of the energy of
# existence.
#
# From: konr...@netcom.com (Konrad)
# If a BIG BANG isn't a sound then i don't know what we're talking about
# here.
# And there are other mystics who believe that this basic sound is "ahh."
# (This is true)
# And then there are those who think that it was this argument between
# whether "ohh" or "ahh" is the basic sound of the Universe that actually
# caused the big bang which created the Universe.
# (This is also true, in a way)
#
# Vladimir The Editor Note :-)))
# I sincerly believe that although the absurd ideas discussed above seem
# to be just casual coincidence here they are still are part of
# intercontinental absurd project/object relations Frank tried to
# trace all his life :-)))

You mean just we know that?

RIGHT!

Merry-go-round, Merry-go-round,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
tu-tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# The CPIII edition of this cut (see below) don't seem to confirm my
# impression but this line suspectably points to Larry _Wild Man_ Fischer
# infamous classic track Merry-Go-Round from 1970 (1968) Bizarre 6332
# _An Evening with Wild Man Fischer_
# Can anyone provide lyrics of that Larry hit?
# BTW,
# May be it was just standard paste time cliche ditty in early 60th L.A.?
#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# I don't think that Larry's song was popular. It's probably included
# because Frank liked it. Merry-go-round is a carousel ride for children, and
# is a euphemism used by Larry to mean "the bump and grind", "the buff 'till
# ya shine", "the tube snake boogie".

And they call that doing their thing.
Oh yeah? That's what doing your thing is!
The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

#CC
# Another edition of what obviously was the same original dialog can be
# heard on _This Is Phaze III_ track of CPIII
#
# SPIDER: Right, man... and all it was like people sitting in doorways
# freakin out tourists going " Merry Go Round, Merry Go Round,
# Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do!" and they called that "doing their
# thing."
# JOHN: Oh yeah, that's what doing your thing is!
# SPIDER: The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

2. White Ugliness 01:33
--------------

Arf arf arf!

#CC
# It seems to be first appearance of Fido :-)))

Ponies...if, if, if...
Was it white? 're you sure?...it wasn't white,
I mean uh...black, uh...
But I was too scared to notice their physical...
...gold or something...
...I was too, I was too scared to no-no-no-notice their physical,
ah, appearance, 'cause they...they...they were attackin' me!
They were?
They were attackin' me.
What were they doin' to you?
They were, they were, they were come and surrounding me
and attackin' me and I had to fight back and fight,
fight and fight back and pick up sticks.
Pick up sticks?
Yes, pick up sticks.
I used to play that game, Pick Up Sticks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Me too, did you ever play that game?

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Pick Up Sticks (or Pick-A-Stick) is a very simple game, making use of
# a number of thin wooden sticks, rather like giant cocktail sticks. You
# gather the sticks together in your hand, hold them vertically on some
# surface (floor/table), and let them go. Generally, they fall in a heap,
# with sticks overlapping other sticks. The object of the exercise is to use
# another stick (which sometimes has a small groove cut in it to aid the
# picking of sticks) to slowly, and carefully dislodge sticks from the jumbled
# pile. If you remove a stick *without* moving any other stick, you continue
# on picking sticks. As soon as you move one, it becomes your opponent's
# turn (more than 2 people can play). The person with the most sticks at the
# end is the winner.

Ha Ha Ha!
We'll hope for the best.
Ha Ha Ha!

(Alfred Motorhead).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Seems to be just rhyming joke.
# The guy's real name is Euclid James 'Motorhead' Sherwood
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# that isn't right, but it's hard to hear... something like "I'll pray for
# us Motorhead"

Now I lay me down to sleep.
Amen!

3. Amen 03:55
----

4. Just One More Time 05:28
------------------

I think I can explain about how the pigs music works.
Well, this should be interesting.
....

#CC
# Discussion from here to the final phrase
#
Yeah, it's a vicious circle, you got it!
#
# Reappeared with colorful details on CPIII track _How The Pig' Music Works_.

Any sort of motion has its effect on, on the pony's manes.
You know, the thing on their neck.
Hmm...
As soon as the pony's manes starts to get good in the back
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Really funny pan on hippies emotions expressed in WOIIFTM _Who Needs
# The Peace Corps?_
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya Frisco!
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Also remember that long hair gathered at the back of the head is usually
# termed a `pony-tail.' Many hippies were wearing their hair that way in the
# Sixties.

6. King Kong 07:38
---------

#CC
# Try _Uncle Meat_ album (side 4/CD 2) for the theme full-blown.

10. Take Your Clothes Off 13:58
---------------------
#CC
# Check WOIIFTM _Take Your Clothes Off Then You Dance_ for funny and
# viciously flower-power-sucks lyrics.

WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY
==============================

Notes and Comments
ver.27-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

words from CD booklet

special thanks for
whispering, whistles and
censored stuff to
Robbert Heederick <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
and
ba...@irt.com (Don Baake(VAX))

Who Needs The Peace Corps?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# The Peace Corps was a highly-touted "alternative service" program pitched
# to young folks who might not be ready to get a job immediately. It was
# introduced by Pres. Kennedy. Young college-age people were recruited to go
# to poorer, mostly "third world" countries, to help them with medical needs,
# school or road or sewer construction, teaching English, things like that.
# They lived with the folks for about two years, mostly in the "native"
# manner. The song is saying, "That's just more cop-out - forget it and be a
# hippie." Of course, it's _lampooning_ that idea, not preaching it.

Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig & sleep
^^^^^^^^^
# Was there really such inpatient guys that couldn't wait for they own
# hair to grow?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Yes, but also with a wig they can easily remove it and be normal again.
# It's just a temporary fashion thing.

On Owsley's floor
^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# As far as I know Augustus Owsley was drop out chemist and famouse
# manufacturer of very pure and strong LSD. For more reference see
# Tom Wolfe _Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test_ book.

Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO

I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# The center of the hippie movement was the Haight-Ashbury area of San
# Francisco, near the corner of Haight St. and Ashbury St.

I will wonder around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye all the time
I will love every one

* I will love the police as they kick the shit * Censored out on
* out of me on the streets * the original vinyl

# From: krf...@mmm.com (Kerry R. Field)
# The last line is _not_ censored on the original vinyl I have.
#
# From: wpma...@tx.ncsu.edu (Bill Madden)
# Mine is V6 5045X
# Okay, here is some more catalyst. Collectors will pay 3 times as much,
# up to $500 for a near mint copy of WOIIFTM that has the line:
# "I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me" deleted from the
# song "Who Needs the Peace Corps"
# This was a late edited version and went out as V6-5045 as well.
# My copy does not have this, and I have listened carefully.
#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# We seem to be talking about two different levels of censorship. I
# specified in my post that I was referring to the version of Money with no
# publicity "balling," no "flower power sucks," no "I still remember Mama
# with her apron and her pad, feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe," etc. This
# is the first pressing, with the matrix number MGS-1250-REV. Zappa got all
# those sequences restored for the second pressing, which has the matrix
# number MGS-1250-REV-F. (Zappa explains the circumstances in The Real
# Frank Zappa Book.) So the CD is NOT the censored version in this sense.
# However, all vinyl editions have "Harry You're A Beast" and "Mother
# People" censored, and the new CD DOES repeat this censorship.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# There's the "very censored" version that is quite rare - I've never seen a
# vinyl copy of it. The restored CD is the "slightly censored" version, and
# is the same as every vinyl copy I have heard. I never liked that extra
# verse on Mother People anyway. The meter doesn't quite fit with it's
# counterpart earlier in the song. Two many syllables are squozen in. Plus
# you can find decent live bootlegs with Flo and Eddie singing the extra
# verse.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# OK, this is an official FAQ editor statetment :-) I have no vinyl too.
# All censored stuff I found comparing old Ryko CD with the tape that was
# made for me long time ago by Bill Madden. So see his comments above for
# the details of that very rare but REAL release.

I will sleep, I will go to a house
Where there's a rock'n'roll band

And I will stay with them
And I will get the crabs
But I want care
* Because... * Edited out on
* the original vinyl

Concentration Moon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMERICAN WAY
How did it start?
Thousands of creeps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Killed in the park

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# It wasn't Kent State because that happened in 1970 or 1971, and WOIIFTM
# was recorded in 1967/8. There was another shooting previous to Kent
# State, and this is the one that Zappa refers to, but I can't remember the
# incident.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# I don't think the song refers to an actual incident. Frank was carrying
# the hostility between hippies (or, in L.A., freaks) and the police to what
# was for him the logical end. It just so happened that within a couple of
# years, it started coming true.

SUDDENLY: DIE DIE
COP KILL A CREEP! pow pow pow
Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa...Creation
And the day after that...
And the day after that...
Also at the same time I get a work with Velvet Undeground
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
* which is as shitty group * Censored out on
* as Frank Zappa's group * the original vinyl

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)
# I don't know that they *didn't* get along, but if it's true, it's quite
# possibly due to Frank's intolerance of substance abusers. Mr. Reed was
# once booed off the stage in Cleveland because he was too drunk to perform.
# Even though it happened 20 years ago, it's still a local legend in the
# Northeastern Ohio area.
#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)
# I read once that Lou Reed had called Frank "An Untalented Asshole". On
# WOIIFTM, the comment about the Velvet Underground is being made by the
# recording engineer (whose name I can't think of), who happened to be
# working on both the Mother's and The Velvet's albums at the same time.
# Both the MOI and the VU were stablemates at MGM/Verve in those days,
# and if you look at the release numbers on the spine of the records, you
# will see that they are similar.
#
# From: spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU
# The engineer on WOIIFTM is Gary Kellgren. Tom Wilson was the producer
# for the first couple of MOI albums and also produced the first VU album, I
# believe.
# As for Zappa vs. Reed, there is a long anti-Zappa diatribe from Reed
# sometime in the 60's quoted in the VU biography "Up-Tight." Apparently
# Zappa, in turn, made nasty comments about VU during some concerts from
# those days. Ironic that both Zappa and Reed were embraced as heroes by
# Vaclav Havel.
#
# From LP liners notes
# GARY KELLGREN (picture in badge on cut-out page), engineer for
# two months of basic sessions at MAYFAIR STUDIOS is the one
# doing all the creepy whispering.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Also, at the same time, I get to work with the Velvet Underground, which
# is as shitty a group as Frank Zappa's group."
# Spoken by recording engineer Gary Kellgren, and no doubt reflecting his
# true personal opinion. ("Kellgren, who cordially despises Zappa's music..."
# from Walley's book, paraphrased from memory) Included by Frank as being
# suitably irreverent.
#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# I'm not sure of the origin of this animosity, but first became aware of
# it when leafing through a book of rock 'n roll quotes. There was one
# from Lou Reed about playing the theatre in London where Zappa had been
# pitched into the orchestra pit 1971 and how much pleasure he got
# thinking about that.
# Another good quote in that book was about Lou Reed. I can't remember
# the source, but that person said that it was about a decade between good
# Lou Reed songs.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Over the years I've seen lots of quotes from Lou Reed slagging off FZ
# in a big way, but I've never heard any negative stuff back from FZ about
# Lou Reed. In fact, in 1982 when he did his special dee-jay slot on Radio 1
# (UK) he played 'All tomorrow's parties' from the first VU album,...er.....
# whatever that tells us.
#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# From Miles' Visual Documentary:
# 3-29 May (1966)
# Double bill opening for Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable with the
# Velvet Underground and Nico at The Trip, Los Angeles. The hometown crowd
# naturally cheered The Mothers and booed the Velvets whose sombre black New
# York outfits didn't fit in with the garish Californian Freaks. The Byrds,
# Jim Morrison (still at UCLA Film School at the time) Sonny & Cher and Mama
# Cass were all in the audience for the opening night. Lou Reed developed a
# seething hatred for Zappa: "He's probably the single most untalented person
# I've heard in my life. He's two-bit, pretentious, academic, and he can't
# play rock 'n' roll, because he's a loser. And that's why he dresses up
# funny. He's not happy with himself and I think he's right." [Reed]
# This is because Zappa would make fun of the Velvets as part of his stage
# rap... "These guys really suck!"
# It's hard to imagine how the Velvets and The Mothers could have shared the
# bill for the whole month without violence occurring. It was perhaps
# fortunate that the Sheriff's office closed down the club on the third day
# of the engagement. However, the Warhol gang and The Mothers played one more
# gig together:
#
# 28-29 May
# Fillmore Auditorium, San Francisco. The opening audition band (who didn't
# get paid) was The Jefferson Airplane.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Apparently, if I remember correctly, FZ and Herb Cohen supposedly blocked
# the release of 'The Velvet Underground and Nico' until after 'Freak Out'
# came out, so that the latter would be forever remembered as the first
# 'weird' album to be released. Sounds totally preposterous doesn't it, but
# is there any truth in it?
#
# From: roto...@cats.ucsc.edu (Alexander Shane Dickey)
# Actually, in "Up-Tight:The Velvet Underground Story" it all but says that.
# It definitely alludes to the fact that Lou was pissed that Verve was
# releasing "Freak Out" first. This could be Lou's side of the argument. As
# for Frank, I just think he thought the VU sucked.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# It's interesting also to note that when FZ was poshumously inducted to
# Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame ( Jan, 1995 ) it was Lou Reed who did the honors
# and said how much he missed Zappa's integrity and his firebrand politics.
# And even as cited by John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk> said
# "I respected Frank Zappa, and I know that he respected me"
# And Frank's daughter Moon in her turn started the acceptence speech
# by this words ( johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli) transription )
# "This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that."
#
# From: Cliff Heller <fn...@panix.com>
# Vlad, just one quick comment
# You devoted a lot of time to the FZ/Lou Reed controversy, but I don't think
# it's fair to end with this anecdote without including Gails commentary on
# the whole Hall of Fame thing. From her comments, and what I know about the
# industry, Lou and Moons on-stage comments were just show-business
# nicey-nicey between people that hate each other.
# The choice of Lou to induct Frank was a great insult to the Zappa family.
# Gail said, among other thing "Lou never had a nice thing to say about
# Frank".
# Also include that quite some time before the Hall of Fame induction Ahmet
# led audiences at Z shows in loud chants of "Fuck Lou Reed!" (At least he
# did this in New York, I can only presume he did so elsewhere - unless the
# fact that it was Reed's home town made it special).
# Unfortunately, I don't have the text of the Gail quotes, but I suspect
# they are available somewhere. Feel free to include any of these comments
# in upcoming revisions of this Notes & Comments.
# It seems like a lot of space to devote to the FZ/LR stuff, but this might
# be the best place to include it, if it isn't documented elsewhere.
#

# Thank you, Cliff, for a great suggestion. Here is it straight from our
# fabulous Dr. John.
#
# From: sci...@primenet.com (John V. Scialli)
#
# Text of Lou Reed Introductory Speech, Rock and Roll Hall of
# Fame (2:17 min)
#
#
# It's very rare in life to know someone who affects things; changes
# them in a positive way. I've been lucky enough to have known
# some in my life: Andy Warhol, Doc Pomus. People whose
# vision and integrity was such that it moved the world a bit. People
# who, through the articulation of their talents and intelligence, were
# able to leave things better than they had found them. People who
# were not only not in it for the money, to paraphrase Frank Zappa.
# Frank Zappa was such a person and of the many regrets I have in
# life, not knowing him a lot better is one of them.
# Whether writing symphonies, satirical broadsides or casting a
# caustic glow across the frontier of madness that makes up the
# American political landscape; whether testifying before Congress
# to put the PMRC in its rightful lowly place, or acting as a cultural
# conduit for President Vaclav Havel and the Czech government,
# Frank was a force for reason and honesty in the business
# deficient in those areas. As we reward some with money for the
# amusement they supply to the cultural masses, I think the
# induction of Frank Zappa in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
# distinguishes the Hall as well as the inductee. [applause]
# Musicians usually cannot speak. That's why they communicate
# through their instruments. But Frank was one who could. And
# because music is pure, the musician is pure as well and when
# Frank spoke he demonstrated the power of purity. Who will do
# that now? I admired Frank greatly and I know he admired me. It
# gives me great pleasure to give this award to his daughter, Moon
# Zappa.
#
#
#
# Text of Moon Zappa's Acceptance Speech (1:44 min)
#
#
# This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that.
#
# I'm a little dyslexic and earlier I freed my ass.(*) I'm hoping my
# mind will follow. [sigh, sniff] [Applause] Um, thank you and, uhh, I
# know you know I had said that this is the year of the end of the
# bullshit promises and I am really sorry that my father missed that.
# And, um, uhh, I've almost, almost, forgiven the Wait Staff here
# because my heart is open from watching all of this. [gestures
# towards the screen on which Zappa montage had been shown]
# and it's very odd to be back there [backstage] before you come
# up because you actually hear the command given but I just want
# to say that this really belongs to his, his fans and um, music really
# is a language and I think that some languages are easy to
# understand than others. I don't think it's any accident that the
# Slavic countries really appreciated my father the most because it's
# really hard to get the accents down and everything. And, um, I
# just really want to say thank you and I think that he would really
# have enjoyed this. Thank you.
#
# (*) From: met...@pablo.physics.lsa.umich.edu (Chris Metzler)
# Sure. It's a musical joke. It refers to the classic George Clinton /
# Funkadelic album, "Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow." Funkadelic
# was way cool.
# Moon is saying that she's dyslexic and did it in the wrong order. Why?
# I don't know. But I'm sure that's what it's a reference to.
#
#
# Here's Gail's interview comments:
#
# Slightly edited by the Freditor of T'mershi Duween:
#
# ZAPPA & THE ROCK UNROLLED HALL OF FARCE
#
# "Ten days before the actual ceremony," says Gail Zappa, "we still hadn't
# received invitations. The producer said, 'Oh that's unconscionable! We can
# give you two free tickets.' Well, there's _five_ of us of course. He said,
# 'Well, we can sell you additional tickets at fifteen hundred dollars a
# piece, but you can't sit together.' I just laughed. Moon had expressed an
# interest in going, so we decided she'd accept the award. A week before the
# ceremony, they called me and said Edward Van Halen -who would have been
# perfect - had turned down their offer to induct Frank because he doesn't do
# these things. So I suggested Johnny "guitar' Watson whom Frank knew, loved
# and had worked with. They said 'No.' I won't say why because I don't want to
# hurt Johnny, but I did tell them that Johnny was one of the most lucid and
# articulate people I'd ever heard interviewed. I suggested Aerosmith, but was
# told they were going to induct Led Zeppelin. So I suggested Led Zeppelin.
# Again they said no. I asked them who chooses these
# things and was told 'The Board.' I asked if there were any musicians on the
# board, and more importantly are there any black musicians. They had to call
# me back and they replied 'Yes one: Berry Gordy.'
# "They then said 'We've invited Lou Reed to do it.' I was laughing. It was
# just _so_ ironic. I said I'd talk to my kids and they were against it; they
# believed Lou had millions of chances to make up with Frank. So Lou called. I
# told him 'Listen, you said lots of shitty things about Frank.' We discussed
# it and he finally said 'If I said anything flip that was _meant_ to be
# funny, I'm sorry.' Actually Frank admired him as a songwriter; 'Femme
# Fatale' and 'All Tomorrow's Parties' were two of Frank's favorites.
# "We asked for a car to take Moon to the ceremony. The producer told Moon
# that I said she'd be giving clearance to use the Frank footage on MTV which
# was totally not true! He said 'That's OK, the show's running long, so we'll
# just cut Frank.' Moon called him back and made him apologize for making her
# father sound insignificant. A limo did take her to the show, but there was
# no-one to pick her up afterwards! I have this vision of her standing in the
# rain, flagging down a cab with the award in her hand...
# "I watched the broadcast and they didn't play any of his music, although
# they played at least one song by every other artist. And then I heard Joe
# Perry say that Led Zeppelin has asked Aerosmith to induct them months
# before, so how come we only got word a week before? This is a man who went
# to Capitol Hill for these people! When Moon said Frank would have enjoyed
# it, she meant the musicians. As Lou said, it honored the Hall to induct
# Frank and not the other way round. It was stupid, insensitive and just
# thoughtless."

AMERICAN WAY
Threatened by US
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Kerry R. Field" <krf...@mmm.com>
# I think back to the Vietnam war protests I experienced. Anytime the
# police or National Guard clubbed and arrested people they were handcuffed
# and dragged to a bus for transport to the police station for processing.
# What was always ironic to me is that it was usually a yellow school bus,
# The same vehicle that transported most of us to and from our formal
# education. I also believe FZ capitalized US to state that the American
# Way was threatened from within, but us from the US of A.

Drag a few creeps
^^^^^^^^^^
Away in a bus

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
# The other thing to remember is the difference between "freaks" and
# "hippies." It's a bit like the difference between "punk" and "new wave"
# was in the early eighties, or the difference between some soup kitchens for
# winos and a multimillion-dollar Homelessness Industry. Freaks were
# basically a bunch of dissatisfied reasonably young people, sometimes
# imaginative, sometimes angry, sometimes destructive, and sometimes stupid.
# Hippiedom was built supposedly on the foundation of freak culture but was
# really Big Business. When most of the album was recorded, the scales were
# still pointing toward freaks. When it was released, it was Hippiedom all
# the way.
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I remember reading in some FZ related material (maybe The Real FZ Book?)
# that it was a reference to the fact that after the "real" freak scene had
# started, it was promptly glommed onto by tourists (speaking
# metaphorically, i.e. folks that had found an exciting new trend to
# emulate).
# Getting back to the original thread - I think the songs in question are
# referring to "creeps" rather than "freaks" (e.g. "Cop kill a creep - pow
# pow pow"). I think this sort of makes sense, in that "freaks" seems to
# encompass more sociological ground than "creeps," the latter referring
# more to appearance than other matters - and "creeps" being a group that
# could be victimized on more superficial grounds by those not interested in
# looking further.

Bow Tie Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...operator?
phone for a minute, please...
Hello?
...yes sir...
Ah, can you call six seven eight nine eight six six
...
Yes
Right
Is that Vickie?
^^^^^^^
He's gonna bump you off the ass

# OK, it's silly question, but as far as liners notes point to Pamela
# Zarubica
# SUZY CREAMCHEESE: Telephone
# may be someone happen to know who the hell was Vickie The Pam friend
# in trouble?

Harry, You're a Beast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MADGE, I WANT YOUR BODY!
HARRY, GET BACK!
MADGE, IT'S NOT MERELY
PHYSICAL!
HARRY, YOU'RE A BEAST!
* Don't come in me in me * Censored out on
* Don't come in me in me * the original vinyl
* Don't come in me in me *
MADGE... I COULDN'T HELP IT
.../... DOGGONE IT!

Absolutely Free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't do publicity balling for you anymore...

# This is a voice of Cheese, aka Pamela Zarubica

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And paste them in

# From: Chris Boosalis <boos...@asu.edu>
# Look, Frank had a habit of making fun of cheepnis -- truly cheap
# American culture. The stamps he's referring to are the S and H green
# stamps we used to receive from the gas stations and stores. The stamps
# were green and had a red S and H on them. We would then lick them, and
# paste them in these little S and H green stamp booklets, like amateur
# stamp collectors. After filling up about 5 - 5,000,000 books (each book
# held about 100 - 150 stamps) we would take them to the local S and H
# green stamp store, and BUY stuff with the books. For 30 books, you could
# get a cheap radio, and for 300 books, you could get a crappy ten-speed bike.
# It was an amazing marketing venture, held by the major oil and food
# companies here in the states: people would only go to the stores and buy
# gas from the places where they could "earn" a cheap premium (those stupid
# stamps, and that shitty merchandise).
# That is what he's peeing on, my friend, and not anything else.

DISCORPORATE
And we will begin...

* WAH WAH! * Censored out on
* Flower Power sucks! * the original vinyl

UNBIND YOUR MIND
THERE IS NO TIME
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From _Dictionary of American Slang_ H. Wentworth & S.B. Flexner
#
# boing boing-boing - exclam. An expression of apprectiation or
# acknowledgement of and toward a sexually attractive girl or young
# woman
# Is there any pan on the name of Boeing aircraft manufacturers?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Bizarre. I think there's much too much being read into what is basically
# a nonsense sound. A spring makes the same sound. It does have a comical
# connotation of "popping a boner". I would state with nearly 100% certainty
# that it has nothing to do with Boeing.

Flower Punk
~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a
psychedelic band.

# Hey Joe ( Jimi Hendrix version )
# --------
#
# Hey, Joe, uh, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# Hey, Joe, I said, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# I'm going down to shot my old lady
# You know, I caught her messin' around with another man, yeah.
#
# From: lsee...@oregon.uoregon.edu (Luke Mitchell Seemann)
# I'm assuming that Flower punk came after [ Jimi Hendrix' ] Hey joe and is
# a righteous parody.
#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Flower Punk was released in 68, and Hendrix released Hey Joe in '67.
# However, Hey Joe is not a Hendrix tune. It was released sometimes earlier
# by a group I cannot remember at the time.
# Yes [ it's parody ], but if I remember it correctly, Flower Punk is a lot
# closer to the original version of Hey Joe than the much cooler Hendrix
# version.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# "Hey Joe" is credited to Billy Roberts on the Hendrix vinyl which (I
# think) came out in '67. Deep Purple covered it in '68. I don't have the
# Billy Roberts publishing date. I don't even know if he was a recording
# artist.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# Some albums credit "Hey Joe" to Billy Roberts, and others credit it to
# Chet (or Chester) Powers. Chet Powers wrote "Get Together", which was
# recorded by the Youngbloods and countless other bands. Under his real
# name, Dino Valente, he released one solo album and was lead vocalist
# with the Quicksilver Messenger Service (when he wasn't in prison for
# possession of drugs).
# Does anyone know who Billy Roberts was? Who ripped off whom here?
#
# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>
# Somewhere I read once that Billy Roberts, Chet Powers, Jesse Oris Farrow,
# and Dino Valenti were all the same person. I don't know about Billy
# Roberts, for sure, but the other three names refer to the very same
# person, who was the lead singer for Quicksilver, when the lead singer
# sounded suspiciously like Johnny Rivers.
#
# From: dm...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jeffrey M. Gold)
# I think that the first group to record Hey Joe was The Leaves. Probably
# an early 1960's recording.
#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)
# Hey Joe, by the Leaves: charted July 1966 for 9 weeks, on Mira 222.
# (personally favor, as parodies/tributes, the duwops, as on Cruisin')
#
# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)
# Jim Pons (ex-Mothers, ex-Turtles) was a member of a mid-60s band called
# the Leaves who had a minor hit called 'Hey Joe". Small world.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play
^^^^^^^
my bongos in the dirt.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Love-in": 1960s hippie happening wherein they sat around, got stoned,
# and let it all hang out, so to speak. [ Was there any fun in it? ] Sure,
# if you were stoned enough. Implication here is that that resultant bongo
# playing was just amateurish banging.

(Just at this moment, the 2700
microgram dose of STP ingested by
^^^
FLOWER PUNK shortly before the

# Once again the Dictionary of American Slang
#
# STP n. A synthetic drug ( 2-5 methoxy-4-methylamphetamine ) which in
# large doses, produces hallucinogenic effects of long duration. The
# initials properly stand for Serenity, Tranquillity and Peace.
# Was it really popular time wastin' substance then?
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# For a while, with some folks, but as I remember it was dangerous, leading
# to psychotic episodes. One of the first manifestations of the whole hippie
# thing going really sour.
#
# From David G. Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# pp.125-126
# "Anyone who depended on street dealers was taking his life in his hands -
# something touted as LSD could just as easy be combination of methedrine,
# stychnine, horse tranquilazer, or even STP, a governement-developed
# hallucinogen for chemical warfare that produced several hallucinations,
# paranoia, and depressionlasting up to three days."

Golly, do I ever have a lot of soul?
I think I love you!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# This is a line from "Wild Thing", a hit for the Troggs.

Questi dominga?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>
# ... "questi" is italian and means "these", "dominga" is not italian (
# "domenica" is the italian for "sunday") but I think "domingo" is the
# spanish for "sunday". So "dominga" is a kind of mix!

I could barely even play the
changes to this song on my, on
my guitar
But now I'm very professional
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I can play the guitar

#CC
# I'm professional. I can do everything.
#
# the basic expression of Jimmy Carl Black's character in 200 Motels movie

I will say: "Hello Dolly!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# Any link to old jazz standard?

And I will walk
I will walk up to her and I
will smile at her
And I will impress her and I
will say: "Hello, baby,
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# _Fillmore East_ album. _What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are_ song
#
# What's s girl like you
# Doin' in a place like this?
#
# I left my place after midnight
# And I came to this hall
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I don't think this is CC. "What's a girl like you" etc. is a standard,
# cliche pick-up line used to strike up conversation with a member of the
# opposite camp in a bar.

Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beautiful!
God! It's God!
I see God!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# I believe it was Stan Ivester who once said that here we have
# the critical point mentioned in liners note
#
# ERIC CLAPTON (noted philosopher & guitarist
# with THE CREAM) has graciously consented to
# speak to you in several critical areas.
#

/\/|/\/|/\| a few bars of surf tune /\/|/\/|/\|
/\/|/\/|/\| goes there /\/|/\/|/\|

#CC
# From: Don White <whi...@hccs.cc.tx.us>
# The song in question is called "Heavies" by The Rotations. It was one
# of the singles produced by FZ during the Studio Z days in Cucumonga.
#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)
# get Cucamonga Years
# cut 10 Heavies (1964) THE ROTATIONS

Let's Make The Water Turn Black
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now believe me when I tell you that my
song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# There was an explanation of Let's Make The Water Turn Black in Rolling
# Stone of August 27th, 1987, where We're Only In It... was named one of the
# best 100 albums of the last 20 years:
#
# In addition to lambasting hippie culture, Zappa also sought to immortalize
# some of his more bizarre childhood acquaintances -- in particular, two
# brothers named Kenny and Ronnie, who featured in the song "Let's Make the
# Water Turn Black.''
# "Ronnie had been busted for bootlegging," says Zappa. "He used to make
# raisin wine and sell it to kids in junior high school. Ronnie saved snot on
# a window in his room. He had gotten into this syndrome of flipping boogers.
# One day his mother went in there and started howling because she couldn't
# see through the window -- it was all green. They had to use chisels and
# Ajax to scrape the stuff off. This is absolutely true."
# Kenny, the other brother, lived in a garage in back of the house with
# Mothers sax man and roadie Jim "Motorhead" Sherwood. Since there was no
# plumbing in the garage, they began urinating in some Mason jars Kenny's
# mother kept for canning, then in the earthenware crocks that Ronnie had
# used to concoct his raisin wine. They covered the crocks with a board.
# "One day," says Zappa, "just out of curiosity, Kenny lifted the board to
# see how the whiz was doing, and there were these >things< swimming in it --
# like some mutant tadpoles that had been brewing in there. The father found
# out and made them flush it all down the toilet. So whatever was living in
# the jars is now probably eleven feet long and living in the sewer system in
# California."
# And the song's concluding line, "Wait till the fire turns green"?
# "When they weren't pissing in jars and saving their snot on the windows,"
# says Zappa, "they were lighting each other's farts. So there it is. It's
# like a folk song."

Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps & chairs to San Ber'dino squares
* And I still remember Mama with her * Censored out on
* apron & her pad * the original vinyl
* Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe! *

(Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away!)
^^^^^
# From: John Wittenberg <jo...@cruzio.com>
# 'Poots' are more commonly called 'farts', and are reputed to produce a
# green flame when ignited.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# The process known as pyroflatulation.
#
# From: Greg...@LFGMS.logica.com (Martin Gregorie)
# Fartuous info: They burn with a nice orange flame, but are difficult to
# light unless you use a diffusor (ie underpants) . This also prevents brush
# fires starting in tender places!

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
^^^^^^
# Seems to be something you could drag out of your nose :-)
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Right - boogers.

Whizzing & pasting & pooting through the day...
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)
# Whizzing = pissing.
# Pasting = interesting mucus experiments.

Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# I strongly suspect that _Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance_ was a
# parody at first place. Not in general sense, but in particular :-)
# Look what I found in _Viva Zappa!_ concerning FZ covering by some
# obscure band named Gruppo Sportivo
# "... Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance ( Zappa) who himself
# re- used a theme from the Drifters _True Love/True Love_ ( Pomus/Shuman )"

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go
^^^^^^^^^^^
stretch-elastic pants...

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Neither trade name or pun, but reference to the "scene" where you find
# this kind of clothing. It was often called "mod," here meaning simply
# "modern", [not as formal as the English "mod" style]. Go-go's were the
# 1960s version of disco.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Making fun of hipster advertising lingo of the day.

#CC
# This same tune became the final part of _Lumpy Gravy_
# a BALLET which probably don't make it :-)))))))

Mother People
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person
* Better take a look before you say * Censored out on
* you don't care, shut your * the original vinyl
* fucking mouth about the length of my hair, *
* how would you survive *
* if you were alive, shitty little person *

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part2

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 2 of 9 |

| |
| Maintained by Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su) |
| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

| part 2 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

UNCLE MEAT
==========

Notes and Comments
ver.23-March-1996

dialogues
Joined International Transcribing Effort
of :-)
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

A little bit of Italian
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

The Voice Of Cheese
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: Hello, teenage America,
My name is Suzy Creemcheese,
I'm Suzy Creemcheese because
I've never wron fake eyelashes
in my whole life
And I never made it on surfing set
And I never made it on beatnik set
And I couldn't cut the groupie set either
And...Um
Actually I'm really fucked up in Europe.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Actually, *I* really fucked up in Europe.
# Makes sense that way.

( Hrrrrrrrrrr )
Now that I've done it all over and
Nobody else will accept me
I've come home to my Mothers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# In accordance with book exerpt below the voice of Cheese seems to belong
# to Pamela Zarubica
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# from "No Commercial Potential" (pp.92-93 of 1980 edition ) about
# Suzy Creamcheese
#
#
# "By the latter part of 1967, success seemed imminent. Zappa was in the
# forefront of the musical explosion, though he was not getting that much
# media exposure because radio stations refused to play his music over the
# air. At this time the Garrick closed. He took a brief respite and toured
# Europe. During June, Pamela Zarubica had returned from Europe. Frank had
# married Gail in the meantime. Gail was expecting, and at first Frank wanted
# Pam to stay with Gail to help her take care of the baby that was soon to be
# born. 'Frank called me and said that there was a great desire to see Suzy
# Creamcheese because the people in Europe couldn't imagine what kind of a
# chick to associate with the picture they had seen of these guys' she recalls.
# 'He said "I'm going to Europe and they want Suzy Creamcheese, you come and
# stay with Gail," and I said "Come and stay with Gail? I am Suzy Creamcheese
# and I'm going with you because if you take some asshole who doesn't know how
# to talk to the press [on the Mothers first promotional tour for *Freak Out*,
# Frank used another girl named Suzy Creamcheese who talked to promotional men
# at MGM throughout the country] that doesn't know how to talk to people,
# you're never going to talk to anybody, period."'

Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Primer *mi carucha* ( Chevy'39)
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Primer: To apply primer paint, a dull gray undercoat applied before
# painting an automobile. "Primer" derives from the verb "to prime" (meaning
# to prepare) the surface prior to painting. Young men with little money often
# applied primer to prevent rust on used automobiles, while saving enough
# money to buy the paint to finish the job. Eventually, "primer gray" became
# a style itself within the Chicano subculture.
#
# mi carucha: Spanish. Literally, "my carriage". "My car" of course.
#
# Chevy '39: A 1939 Chevrolet. A favorite model for modification by "hot rod"
# enthusiasts of the 1950's. Chevrolets were particularly favored by
# Mexican-American youth.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# "My car". Carrucha (correctly spelled with two Rs) means 'pulley' in
# standard Spanish, but 'car' in Chicano slang.

Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Probably not to any organized sporting event. More likely to hang out with
# other young automobile enthusiasts in the empty parking lot.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# It's nowhere now, but it used to be in El Monte, California, east of Los
# Angeles. Frank Zappa and Ray Collins wrote a song called "Memories of El
# Monte", which reminisces about the dances that were held there.
# It was recorded by the Penguins (of "Earth Angel" fame) in 1963. I don't
# know when they tore down the stadium, but the song certainly suggests that
# the dances were no longer being held as of 1963. A photograph of one of
# these dances shows that they were racially integrated, with blacks, whites,
# and hispanics plainly visible in the crowd.
#
#CC
# From: jge...@inter.nl.net (Jos Geluk)
# On the bootleg 'No commercial potential' Zappa says 'Welcome to El Monte
# Legion Stadium'. Was he actually performing there at that moment or was it
# just a form of conceptual continuity?
#
# from alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ (8/12) Bootlegs info - Part 1
# currently maintained by sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# version 2.2 (last change 7-4-94)
#
# KNOWN BOOTLEGS 1969:
# "Poot Face Boogie" (1) - Live and studio 68-69.
# "Vitamin Deficiency" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie" (and "Safe
# Muffinz", see 1971)
# "No Commercial Potential" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie"
# (and "Safe Muffinz", see 1971)
# ..............................................................
#
# Safe Muffinz (partial)
#
# Date: mid-1971
# Loc: El Monte Legion Stadium
# Length: ~45 min
# Catalog: takrl 1929
# X-Ref: Zappalog #212
#
# Musicians: FZ, Mark Volman, Howard Kaylan, Don Preston, Aynsley Dunbar,
# Jim Pons, Ian Underwood
#
# 1. Call Any Vegetable
# 2. The Air
# 3. Dog Breath
# .........................................................

Pick up on my *weesa* ( she is so divine)
^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Diminutive for "Louisa".
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Huiza (pronounced weesa) is Chicano slang for 'girl'.

Helps me stealing hub caps
^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Hub cabs cover the center of a car wheel. You must pop them off in order
# to undo the bolts and change the tire. The end of the axle is called the
# "hub" so "hub cap" is really a self-explanatory term.
# During the 60's and 70's, these were very fancy - ornate with much chrome
# and they were often stolen. You used to hear talk about stealing hub caps
# a lot back then. These days, I guess they are more mundane and you don't
# hear about them being stolen as much.

Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# (Heh-heh. We're getting deep into Mexican-American culture here, aren't
# we?). A pair of oversized dice (as in gambling) made of a hairy fabric,
# tied together with a short string and usually suspended from the interior
# rear-view mirror as a good luck token. These are for appearance only,
# and never actually used for anything.

Louie Louie
~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: The first thing that attracted me to the Mothers music
Was the fact that they played for twenty minutes
Everybody was hissing, and booing, and falling of the dance floor
And Elmer was yelling at them to get
Off the stage and turn down they're amplifiers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Once again the piece appeared to be kind of Pamela Zarubica recollection
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# Text taken from the notorious 1972 poor-excuse-for-a-book "No Commercial
# Potential" by David Walley. (pp.56-57 of 1980 edition )
#
# "She first saw Frank Zappa while she and Julia were waiting to get into the
# Trip. The guest guitarist came in from the back. 'He used to wear this big
# fur coat that looked like it was made out of dead cat....I thought he looked
# like Omar Sharif. I always called him Omar. He played a tune with the Grass
# Roots.' After that, she saw him around with Vito and Carl Franzoni. <Note:
# Carl is the original Hungry Freak. Vito had the first crash pad for freaks
# and was the connecting force amongst LA freakdom> Finally Frank opened at
# the Trip. 'I sat there through the first set while they were playing Brown
# Shoes Don't Make It, and I was thinking to myself that I was a creep because
# my shoes were brown and then I remembered they were moccasins so I was okay
# again. They played Help I'm A Rock for twenty minutes and everyone went
# *Ugh*....I loved it. He came over after the set and said, 'I'm glad you
# could make it' and I said, 'So am I.''

FZ: Ah! I know perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet,
None other than the mighty majestic Albert Hall pipe organ

From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# It was 1969, as I remember (I was at the concert at the Royal Albert Hall
# in London). The RAH has a stage in front of a tiered seating arrangement
# (for a choir) and in the centre of this is a large pipe organ. After FZ
# made the statement, Someone who memory tells me was Don Preston (I might
# be wrong here) opened a little gate, went rushing up the stairs to the
# organ and really let it rip.
# I remember this particular concert (out of the 5 I went to) because
# the PA system really *did* eat it. Frank gave one of his monologues which
# was almost unintelligible due to the PA system and the legendary terrible
# acoustics in the Royal Albert Hall; the bits you could hear seemed to
# indicate that the entire band had their naked buttocks pressed against the
# windows of the bus that picked them up all the way from the airport into
# central London. Frank described this as 'Brown Eyeing'
# 'Louie Louie' has a remarkable influence on 'Florentine Pogen' as well...
#
# Now I come to think of it I can probably confirm the date even better. At
# the concert they were selling programmes which were made up from the cover
# of the booklet which came out with 'Uncle Meat'. FZ actually said that the
# concert was being taped and would be on the album. I never bought the
# album on vinyl; Reprise refused to release it in the UK and it actually
# came out on Transatlantic, an independent label (and quickly went out of
# print). I bought the CD a few years ago and the Concert Booklet (which I
# still have) is basically a full-sized version of the booklet which comes
# with the CD, using the same cover but different inside pages.
# On the back inside cover is one of Cal Shenkel's little notes which says
# something about working all night so that the films could be flown to
# London; I presume that he was working on the album cover some time before
# it was released and they decided to use the cover art for the cponcert
# programme.

Louie Louie
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)

# A neat book by Dave Marsh is called 'Louie,Louie: The History & Mythology
# of the World's Most Famous Rock 'n' Roll Song; Includeing the Full Details of
# Its Torture and Persecution at the Hands of the Kingsmen, J. Edgar Hoover's
# F.B.I., and a Cast of Millions; and Introducing, for the First Time Anywhere,
# the Actual Dirty Lyrics.' Also includes Zappa explaining Louie, Louie as a
# stock module, Hendrix, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Stooges, et al.
# A nice documentaion of pop history.
#
# From: JSUL...@cclink.fhcrc.org
# And let's not forget maybe 4 seconds [of Louie Louie] on "Welcome to the
# US" on The Yellow Shark.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Not to mention the whole basis of "Plastic People". It also pops up in
# "Dupree's Paradise" on YCDTOSA Volume Two, and various other places.
# Richard Berry is in the list of influences on Freak Out. Society Pages ran
# a story on "Louie Louie" in FZ's music.

Our Bizarre Relationship
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese:
That house had your shit all over
And we had cats, we had [flies, fleas] we had lot of crabs
That we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon
except Elmer and Phil,
^^^^^ ^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# OK! Elmer seems to be Elmer Valentine. Whisky-a-Go-Go owner. But who is
# Phil? Spector? Any evidence?

The Uncle Meat Variations
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FUZZY DICE
I got'em
At the Pep Boys... at the BOYYYYYYYYYYS
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The Pep Boys is a retail chain that sells fuzzy dice and other automotive
# parts. The founders' names are Manny, Moe, and Jack.
# The Dickies did a song called "Manny, Moe, and Jack" that also mentions
# fuzzy dice.
#
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Pep Boys was (maybe still is?) a chain of Auto Parts stores. The sign
# featured cartoon faces of the the Boys: Manny, Joe, and Jack.

Fuzzy Dice & bongos
*Brodie knob & spinners*
^^^^^^
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Brodie made "hot rod" type auto parts, like replacement knobs for your
# stick shift. I think a "spinner" is a knob that you attached to your
# steering wheel so you could steer with one hand.

Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha

Electric Aunt Jemima
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Electric Aunt Jemima
^^^^^^^^^^^
Goddess of Love
Khaki Maple Buckwheats
Frizzle on the stove

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# That's what printed in my German songbook.
# Aunt Jemima: das amerikanische Gegenstuck zu Dr. Oetker. Das Wahrzeichen
# der Marke Aunt Jamima ist eine pausbackige Negerkochin.
#
# From: richts@frege (Joern Richts)
# The English translation is:
# "Aunt Jemima: the american counterpart of Dr. Oetker. The emblem of the
# brand Aunt Jemima is a chubby-cheeked negro cook."
# Dr. Oetker is a german food brand, famous for its baking ingredients. I
# think this isn't very helpful for non-Germans but now at least I know what
# Aunt Jemima.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Aunt Jemima (a division of the Quaker Oats Company) makes pancake mix
# and syrup. They may make other products, but pancakes and syrup are what
# they're known for. I believe the name was already part of American folklore
# before Quaker Oats used it commercially, but I'd have to check on this.
# The phrase "Khaki maple buckwheats" certainly suggests pancakes. Maple
# syrup is the traditional accompaniment for pancakes, though most commercial
# syrups contain cheaper syrups (e.g. corn syrup). Buckwheat is a grain from
# which pancakes are sometimes made.
# Khaki is a dull yellowish brown (etymologically, 'dust-colored') or cloth
# of this color used to make pants (i.e. trousers). I guess pancakes are
# more-or-less this color.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Her testy stuff could be used not only by naughty freaks, but also by
# decent american secret agents in time of great danger. Look
#
# Billy the Mountain. Just Another Band From L.A.
#
# ...And he pulled down his blue denim policeman-type pants, and he spread
# even amounts of Aunt Jemima maple syrup over the inside of his legs!...
#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Electric Aunt Jemima was a name Frank used for one of his guitar amps. He
# always was good at naming stuff.
#
# And Our Masters's voice at last to clear it out forever :-)))
#
# From _Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary by Miles_ p.42
# "I get kind oflaugh out of the fact that other people are going to try
# to interpret that stuff and come up with some grotesque, interpretations
# of it. It gives me a certain amount of satisfaction. You can imagine how
# insane that must get on a song 'Electric Aunt Jemima' which was written
# about an amplifier. Yes, it's Standall amplifier, about this big, that
# I used on a couple of sessions" (Zappa: 1969)

Queen of my heart
Please hear my plea
Electric Aunt Jemima
Cook a bunch for me

Brownies in the basin
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The crucial ingredient is chocolate.

Monza by the street light
^^^^^
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# Monza - Another make of automobile.

Ian Underwood Whips It Out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian: My name is Ian Underwood
And I am straight member of the group
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# I think the interpretation would be rather literal. Ian, with his music
# degree, is not a freak, and considers himself to be the "straight"
# (conservative) member of the band. I doubt that the other meaning of
# "straight" (erect) "member" (penis) was intended by Ian when he spoke the
# line, but it was immediately exploited by FZ as he dropped in the "Wowie
# Zowie" comment.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Three related meanings, in no particular order of importance:
# straight: 1) heterosexual
# 2) Not on drugs
# 3) Normal
# I believe 2 was implied (perhaps 3). I always found it amusing since I
# knew that Frank insisted that all members of his bands be drug free. That
# may not have been the case with the early mothers.

( Wowie Zowie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# And if we believe in written word it must be our sweet Pamela again.
# Here liners note for Freak Out! song You Didn't Try To Call Me...
# that
# ... was written to describe the situation in which Pamela Zarubica
# found herself last spring ( Wowie Zowie is what she says when she's
# not grouchy ... )

And I said I like your music,
I'd like to come down to play with you.
Two days later I came up to the recording session
And Frank Zappa was sitting at the control room
I walk up and said

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# I believe it was We're Only In It... recording session.

A Pound For A Brown On The Bus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: j...@panini.att.com (Jeff Rocca)
# Before playing "A Pound For A Brown On The Bus" at the 6/6/69 Royal
# Festival Hall show in London, England, Frank Zappa told the audience
# the legend behind the song. What follows is a transcription I made from
# a recording of this show.
#
# Frank Zappa: "In California, there's a cult known as surfers. And, some
# of you might know about surfers, a lot of you might have missed out on this
# part of your social history. Surfers are young people with bleach-blond
# hair and they have a sun tan -- you don't know what that is here -- and they
# have cut-off pants which makes them look sort of funky and authentic and
# nature-boy style. And they have rubber sandals called Birachies. And they
# have these things called surf boards which are made out wood and fiberglass,
# gayly painted. And of course they have the Woolly Wagon, which is an old
# station-wagon with wood panelling on the side, or if you're too cheap, you
# paint wooden panelling on the side. And you live this life where you like
# to go to the beach all the time, even if its freezing cold, jump out there
# and flop around in the water, and then swim out with your surf board and
# ride in on the waves. It's very thrilling and it gets you a lot of pussy
# with the surfer girls. And similar mating practices exist in all walks of
# life. Truck drivers have certain things they do to get laid. Newspaper
# writers. They all have their own little thing and there's girls that go
# along with each one of these stupid games. They're all broken down into
# little pockets of resistance. Anyway, we have these surfers and they have
# this curious thing called the Brown Out, which is part of their culture.
# Now, the Brown Out is the thing that you do to impress your surfer friends
# and to make other people's eyebrows go up and down. And what you do is you
# get the other person's attention -- you wave at them or you say something
# amusing -- and they turn around and look at you and then suddenly you
# reverse your position, drop your pants, and stick your buns out at them.
# That is a Brown Out. Also known as a Brown. And also known as Mooning on
# the East Coast. There are a number of variations on this procedure.
# If you Brown Out against a wire screen, its called a chipped beef. And if
# you do it against a plate glass window at a delicatessen, its called a
# pressed ham.
# Last year, before we did our Festival Hall show, we arrived at the airport
# and were provided with a touring bus with nice big windows so that everybody
# on the outside could see in and we could see out. The lovely ride from the
# airport to the Winton Hotel. During this trip, a wager was made between
# Jimmy Carl Black, the Indian of the group, and Bunk Gardner, our
# silver-haired tenor saxophone virtuoso. Jimmy Carl Black turned to Bunk
# Gardner and said "I'll bet you a pound you won't Brown Out on this here
# bus." Bunk Gardner, being the crafty silver-haired devil that he is,
# quickly computed the difference between a pound and a dollar and had his
# pants off before anybody knew what was happening.
# <Audience applauds> I can tell by the applause that you admire him for
# doing this. And I can tell that you are trying to project into it
# desperately, maybe even be able to identify with it. Who knows, on the
# street a new rash of social disturbances, maybe the thing to replace flower
# power? We know what will replace flower power -- The Revolution.
# This piece of music is program music because it tells you the story with
# pictures that go along with different parts of the music to evoke realistic
# scenes in your imagination. This is an inferior kind of music designed for
# audiences who can't stand to just listen to music, but need pictures. It was
# invented here in Europe a long time ago. The first part of the piece has
# the simulated effect of London traffic. We do this ingeniously by using
# actual horns which you squeeze with your hand, that go "oo-bah." The next
# thing that happens in the piece is a jolly little theme which gives the
# impression that the Mothers Of Invention love to go around the country-side
# in a bus with big windows. Followed by another abstruse-type section that
# simulates the conversation on the bus, the calculation of the monetary
# difference, and this leads up to a throbbing, and otherwise surging climax,
# wherein the pants come off and the buns are revealed. Followed by some
# low-grade rocking out and instrumental improvisation for about the next
# 20 minutes or something."

Mr. Green Genes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# From _The Real FZ Book_
# Because I recorded a song called "Son of Mr. Green Genes" on the
# Hot Rats album in 1969, people have belived for years that the character
# with the name on the Captain Kangaroo TV show ... was my "real" Dad.
#
#CC
# Seems to be directly related to the Absolutely Free _The Duke of Prunes_
# suite
# From what appears to be AF liners note
# "The Duke of Prunes is surrealistic love songs. Euphemistic sexual imagery
# popular in country blues tunes, ..., is transmuted in this popular piece
# from the basic '- - - me, suck me, till my eyes roll back, baby' to 'prune
# me, cheese me, go-kart...' or something like that"

Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.

"If We'd All Been Living in California"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- There's some months when you're not going to work as much as other
months. There's some months when you're going to make a lot of
money and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred
dollars a month.
- Expenses are sure high to.
If we'd all been living in California,
it would have been different.
- If we'd all been living in California,
we wouldn't have worked at all.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Surly the place was NYC
# From _The Real FZ Book_, p. 90
#
# In 1966 and '67, the L.A.P.D. and the Sheriff's Department went to war
# with the freaks in Hollywood...
# The places where they used to eat ... were under constant surveillance.
# The city government threatened to take away Elmer ( Whisky-a-Go-Go )
# Valentine's liquor license if he didn't stop booking long-haired acts
# into his club. There was no place left to work in Hollywood

The Air
~~~~~~~
I got busted
Coming through customs
With a suitcase
Full of tapes
It was special
Tape recording
And they grabbed me
While I was boarding
Then they hit me

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Seems to be a fantasie or very obscure recollection of Studio Z episod

And they beat me
And they told me
They don't like me
And I crashed
In my Nash
^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Nash was an automobile manufacturer some time ago. My father's first car
# was a Nash, and I think it was old then (late forties/early fifties).
#
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# In my Nash - Nash is a reference to another defunct automobile company. I
# knew a fellow with a Nash when I was in high school. The last of the
# American automakers to go out of business was Studebaker.

Cruising For Burgers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cruising for burgers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In daddy's new car
My phony freedom card
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brings to me
Instantly
ECSTASY

# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# It still is today [favorite South Californian pastime], among a certain age
# group. Teenagers old enough to drive (over 16 years of age), but not old
# enough to drink legally (possibly 18 years of age back then, 21 now) cruise
# around aimlessly, looking for entertainment of any sort. A fake ID card
# (forged, borrowed, or stolen identification which indicates that the holder
# is old enough to enter an establishment which serves alcohol, or to purchase
# alcohol) would provide an alternative to the endless cruising.
# That is the "phony freedom card".
# "Cruising for burgers" is itself a double-entendre. While teenage life in
# the automobile often centers around meeting friends at various drive-in
# hamburger places, it also centers around sex. "Cruising for burgers"
# literally means driving from one hamburger place to another, but it could
# also be interpreted as prowling for females. The fake ID card would enable
# the purchase of alcohol, which would greatly increase the probability of
# sexual encounters during the evening's excursions.

Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# From the sound of it, the recording dates from the early 80s, probably 1981
# or 2, around the time that the newer footage in Dub Room Special was shot.
# It's not new bass and drums on an old song, it's a completely new song
# shoehorned into Uncle Meat - and IMO it doesn't fit too well. It's a novelty
# knockoff in the tradition of Valley Girl or I Don't Even Care.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# The man who sung this piece ( and obviously wrote/imrovised lyrics ) was
# Massimo Bassoli. Below a little introduction and translation attempt
#
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>
# Massimo Bassoli is an Italian rock journalist. He is the editor of the rock
# magazine "TUTTIFRUTTI" published monthly, and before that he was the editor
# of another magazine called "ROCKSTAR".Both magazines are a kind of fashion
# thing mainly devoted to the USA and UK majors' music with some Italian stuff
# certainly not the best to my taste. He also wrote a book about FZ, published
# in 1982, called "ZAPPA (E' PIU' DURO DI TUO MARITO)" (in English: "Zappa (
# harder than your husband)").
# I don't know exactly why but it seems that this guy was in a sort of
# connection with FZ.

Tengo(1) na minchia(2) tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi'(3) | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH

Devi usare un pollo, | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN,
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia(4) | LOOK THAT HE/SHE(4) IS EATING IT
E mentre se la sta a pappa' | AND WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
Se la sta a succhia' | HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia da tastar | I'VE GOT A DICK TO BE TOUCHED

Come on baby
Come on baby, suck my fire!
Oh yeah

Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Mentre se la sta a pappa' | WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
E' chiaro! se la sta a succhia' | IT'S CLEAR! HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Se la sta a pappa' | AND HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT

Darling, darling, darling
Look at your sister
Do something like that, thanks

Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Devi usarlo per misurar | YOU MUST USE IT TO MEASURE
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Cosi' me la potrai succhiar | SO THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SUCK ME IT

Ooh, you both suckin' stereo
Jesus

Translator's Notes
------------------
(1) "tengo" is dialectal (Naples dialect mainly), it means "I HAVE".
(2) "minchia" is one the infinite dialectal synonymous of penis. This word
is born in Sicily but now is used in all Italy.
(3) "accussi'" another dialectal word mainly used in the Naples area. Means
"THAT MUCH" and it should be followed, in the great Italian
tradition, with a gesture aimed to show how big is the thing
you are talking about.
(4) The Italian "guarda che se la mangia" is ambiguous. The gender of the one
is eating can be left unknown so in the following I wrote HE/SHE.

Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Part II
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Italian teacher lecture kindly translated once again by
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

And now dear friends
we are going to translate.
this is my left hand.

Repeat after me
Questa e' la mia mano destra | THIS IS MY RIGHT HAND

Era un senatore a 37 anni | HE WAS A 37 YEARS OLD SENATOR

And this is my last single

Translator's Notes
------------------

(1) This is the only time the text refer to the masculine gender.
So I decided to use "HE" for the rest of the excerpt even if in the
remainder the gender is unknown (and the meaning of the text is
unknown too!). See also note 4 to TNMT.
Sometimes in this excerpt you can hear a voice repeating after MB
while eating. Exhilarating! Specially when he try to repeat "37 anni".

#CC
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Remember Roy Estradas' recitation of this from the Baby Snakes movie?
# (10/31/77 NYC Palladium) Conceptual Project-Object Continuity.

BURNT WEENY SANDWICH
====================

Notes and Comments
ver.11-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# From: Playboy, April, 1993
#
# PLAYBOY: The titles of your records and songs are art statements, too.
# ZAPPA: Well, you have to call them something, so why not call them
# something amusing?
# PLAYBOY: For example, Burnt Weeny Sandwich?
# ZAPPA: I still eat burnt weeny sandwiches. It's one of the great
# things in life. At least it's a great lunch. You take a Hebrew
# National, put it on a fork, burn it on the stove, wrap two pieces
# of bread around it, squirt some mustard on it, eat it and you're
# back to work.

WPLJ
~~~~

The W is the white, the P is the port,
the L is the lemon, the J is the juice.
White port and Lemon Juice ..."

# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)
# WPLJ=WhitePort&LemonJuice, the original California cooler.
# A co-worker was singing the last Thursday.
#
# From: From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# I quoted this last time WPLJ came up, but here it is again.
# From Roy Porter's autobiography, "There and Back", 1991,
# Bayou Press, Wheatley, Oxford, p. 79:
#
# I didn't start dropping "bennies" until I came to Los Angeles in 1944. By
# that time pot was passe for me because I had never liked the feeling it
# gave me anyway. Pot (marijuana) made me self-conscious and a bit paranoid.
# It afforded no relaxation at all, especially while playing my instrument.
# Pot was good to sit and dig sounds with. Benzedrine was sold in two forms,
# pills and the inhalers. It was legal to buy the inhalers over the counter,
# but you were supposed to have a prescription for the pills. The pills were
# used legally, mainly by airline pilots, bus drivers, etc. - anyone who had
# to stay alert and awake in their occupation. The inhaler was a different
# story; anyone could purchase them. The benzedrine was inside the inhaler,
# saturated in an orange-coloured paper strip. At that time we were drinking
# Molotov Cocktails, which is white port wine mixed with lemon juice. Man, we
# would get four or five quarts of white port, buy some inhalers, break them
# open, put the strips in each bottle of wine, put the wine next to a heater
# or heat, and let it sit and dissolve for a few days. When you drink that
# shit, man it will blow your mind, but we would be feeling mellow being
# loaded for days without any ZZZ's. Cisco knew exactly how long to let it
# set and dissolve, just like a moonshiner.
#
# Not recommended, folks, just for historical value.
#
# From: pcr...@superior.carleton.ca (Peter Crane)
# I think they mean White Porter Lemon Juice--a mixture of wine and lemon
# juice like the song says--sounds nasty, but you might want to have it with
# a Burnt Weeny Sandwich.

#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)

# Close: White Port and Lemon Juice.
# See (hear) the original WPLJ by the Four Deuces, (Music City 790) 1955.
# Legend has it that the tune began as a jingle the group did for a local
# merchant (I think a juice company, but it's been years since I heard the
# story. The point was to sell the juice, or the port, by plugging the combo:
# "white port and lemon juice, ooh what they do to you!")
# Anyway, the jingle was played on the local radio and got so much
# response that someone talked the group into working it up into a full
# song. It is a classic!
#
# From: to...@freeport.uwasa.fi (Tommi Uschanov)
# The full song was a hit and was only after that adopted into a wine
# ad jingle, according to notes to Vol. 1 of the two-volume _Music City
# Records_ anthology on the Swedish Earth Angel label (the label is Swedish,
# not Earth Angel, named for the Penguins classic!). The wine company was
# Swiss Colony, BTW. Zappa must have been very familiar with the original
# in his youth - it was a massive hit on the West Coast, and Music City
# was based in Berkeley.

# Spanish rap transcribed and translated by
# r.goe...@frw.ruu.nl (Roland Goetgeluk) girlfriend :-)
# corrected by
# ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney) it seems on his own :-)
#

Dile, por que no merece, | Say it to him, why isn't it worth it,
dale mucho vino, | give him much more wine,
mas suave, mas suave, | cooler, cooler,
mas lindo que la chingada, | more fuckin' beautiful what the fuck,
hombre, undele pinchi vato, hombre, | man, come on damn dude, man

Tu carnal, tu carnal ese tu, | Your buddy, your buddy, eh, you,
tu sabes, toda movida, toda movida, | You know, all groove, all groove,
esa, tu sabes como es, pinchi vino, | eh, you know how it is, fuckin' wine,
puta, undele pinchi vato, undele | faggot, c'mon damn dude, c'mon
hombre (?) | man

Por que no hombre, | Why not man,
te digo que si hombre | I tell you yes, man,
te digo, chingawese(?), | I tell you, we get tight,
esta meco, ponemos mas mecos | this meco (?), we put more mecos (?)
que la chingada, .. (?) ai ai vato. | what the fuck, ai ai fuckin' dude

# carnal = buddy, blood brother, not 'lustfulness'
# pinche = damn or fucking, an expletive preceeding any noun
# literally pinche means cook's helper.
# vato = dude
# puto = fairy, faggot
# cabron = lit. male goat = mother fucker
# mas suave, mas lindo que la chingada = cooler, more fucking beutiful
# suave means soft,
# but is slang for cool.
# la movida = the groove
#
# From : ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)
# He's basically begging some guy to get his friend to buy some
# wine. He's saying "Your friend, your friend, you know the groove, you
# know how it is, fucking faggot, c'mon."

Overture To A Holiday In Berlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# This beautiful music has a very long history. It was written
# in 1960 or 61 by young clean shaved Frank for the film _The World's
# Greatest Sinner_. It also reappeared with sort of senseless words
# on 200 motels album as a song titled Would You Like A Snack
#
# Howard: La La La La
# Mark: Would you like a snack?
#
# Mmmmmmmmmmmm :-)))))))
#
# Also exist ( on the FREAKS & MOTHERFU*#@%! bootleg for example ) another
# version of the lyrics dealing with real sojourn in Berlin
#
# From: ck7...@albnyvms.bitnet (C. Gordon Keeble (gordo))
#
# This probably needs corrections..
#
# Holiday in Berlin
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#
# Look at all the Germans.
# La la la la la la
# Watch them follow orders.
# La la la la la la
# See them think they're doing
# something groovy in the street.
#
# See the student leader.
# La la la la la la
# He's a rebel prophet.
# La la la la la la
# He's fucked up, he's still a
# Nazi like his mom and dad.
#
# Played for a night in Berlin. That afternoon we
# set up our shit and rehearsed.
# Half a dozen phony student rebels in the hall,
# came to see if I could find a way to help them all.
#
# "What is your desire?"
# La la la la la la
# "Help us start a fire."
# La la la la la la
# In the Allied center,
# 'round the corner, down the street.
#
# And then, we began to play.
# A bunch of punks arose from the crowd.
# Student rebels, their flags upraised,
# began to chant "Ho Chi Minh"
# "Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh" Threw tomatoes!
#
# And the next thing knew, we were under seige.
#
#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# The story behind that song is, when the mothers had a concert in Berlin
# 1968 (I think it was their first concert in germany), right on top of the
# student movement, the student wanted him to support their political ideas
# (which were pretty communistic), and he refused. So they throw tomatoes
# and stuff at him ("Don't throw stuff on the stage") and Frank said he'll
# never play in Berlin again. But Fritz Rau, a german concert promoter,
# talked him into come back again. "He said, if you don't like what these
# people were doing, you should come back and tell them"
# ( FZ, quoted from memmory from an interview he gave here in 1988).
# A real nice place to raise your kids up. :-)

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# For the uprising pictures check _Uncle Meat_. movie

Little House I Used To Live In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)

# On _Burnt Weeny Sandwich_ after _Little House I Used To Live In_ Zappa
# announces that they will try to perform _Brown Shoes..._ (if the audience
# keep quiet) but it sound like an empty promise.
# It's not an easy piece to perform live...
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu>
# I have a copy of BSDMI by the 1968 band from a show (in London?). So it was
# probably indeed performed, but I guess Zappa thought Valerie would fit
# nicely with WPLJ to finish off the album.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
# I would have guessed this before too, but..no. Recently I got a tape from
# Bologna in August '73 (in the same period as Piquantique, from BTB 1), in
# which the encore is "Brown Shoes," sung entirely by FZ and George Duke.
# This was quite a surprise.

Valarie
~~~~~~~
WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH
=======================

Notes and Comments
ver.19-Jun-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from famous :-)
German Songbook
provided by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@july.techno.ru>

# A little bit of apropos :-)

#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)

# Does anybody know why the original cover to the album Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh_ was changed. The original picture a metal doll (chrome?) caught in a
# mouse trap. This was sometimes in the 70's changed to the man shaving
# himself with a weasel.
# I was reminded of the original cover when I found two fresh copies of it
# in a second hand shop in Gotherburg for 500 SEK each (that's about $70)
#
# From: mi...@cico.com (Michael Heth)
# From 1984 to about 1988 I was very good friends with John Williams who
# worked for Zappa for about 15 years. John stated to me that the original
# cover as envisioned by him was the image as painted by Neon Parks with only
# the word "Rzzzz" in the sound balloon. The record company execs had a fit
# claiming that they could not put out the album without some identification
# as to the band etc. John "went to the mat" for his concept and was assured
# that it would appear as he intended. Then the execs screwed him by adding
# the other word balloons, "The Mothers of Invention" and "Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh". John went ballistic and seemed to alienate some "big wigs" (nee
# dickheads) at the record company. They proceeded to screw him whenever
# possible, such as the photo credit for "Chunga's Revenge". John took the
# photo of Frank on the cover but they switched the credits so it reads that
# he took the photo on the back (can you tell that Frank is yawning, not
# screaming as it looks at first glance?). Although I remember John saying
# that the WRMF cover was his idea and that he commissioned Neon Park to
# paint it, I may be wrong about that and do not have a way of contacting him
# to confirm my memory.
# Any other "cover art" was put on by the local arm of the record company.
# The original was the Neon Park painting.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# May be other cover art was just for European version? My original Bizarre
# WRMF ( Printed in Holland ) also has on front cover green background metal
# doll in mouse trap.

Did You Get Any Onya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# The title of this tune is used by some folks as a response to someone
# else's particularly nasty-sounding belch, as if they're concerned you
# might've spewed something on yourself in the process: "Didja get any onya?".

ALTO SOLO
...............

MONOLOGUE:

Years ago in Tshermany when I wos a very small boy, zey was a lot of
peoples stending around on ze corners asking quest-shens: "Vy are you
stending on ze corner eck-ting ze way you do, looking ze way you look!
Vy do you look zat way!", they ask me end I vanted to say: I don't know,
I'm just stending here waiting in ze evening, and it's nice outside...
( Rest obscured by pseudo-operatic voices )

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# was then Samir :-)))
# The MONOLOGUE is by Lowell George, guitarist for Zappa at that time
# and later for Little Feat. Frank has said that George had a wonderful
# German accent. Another example may be found on "German Lunch" off
# YCDTOSA-5, CD 1.

NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH
NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH

Get A Little
~~~~~~~~~~~~

(COUGHING)

... hot and everybody workin'on her
So I figured I'd
Rip off her
Drawers and
Get a little -

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Sounds like "Get A Little" is about getting a little pussy or some sex.
# "Drawers" = underpants, panties.

The Eric Dolphy Memorial Barbecue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Michael_...@mindlink.bc.ca (Michael Gushulak)
# Eric Dolphy was a jazz multi-instrumentalist (alto sax, flute, and bass
# clarinet) who recorded in the late '50s and early '60s (he died in 1964 at
# the age of 36). He was noted for being the first to use the bass clarinet
# as a solo instrument, and played with Charles Mingus and Ornette Coleman
# among others. He is listed in the liner notes of "Freak Out!" as one of
# the people who "contributed materially in many ways to make [the Mothers']
# music what it is."

#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)

# Somebody should compile documentation on everybody in the Freak Out list,
# as FZ suggested. This one happens to be my hero, so I thought I'd add to
# Michael's comments by noting that Eric was born and raised in LA, his
# father was a car dealer, and the Dolphys were about the nicest people in
# the world. Frank probably knew of Eric from way back, since Eric had fairly
# regular gigs in LA until 1958 when he joined Chico Hamilton's chamber
# ensemble.
# Zappa's composition named above is a parody of the fact that vast
# quantities of tributes came out after Eric's death.
# Vladimir Simosko wrote the definitive biography/discography, available now
# from Da Capo Press. A Dutch filmmaker named Hans Hylkema made a documentary
# about Eric in 1992. It is now available on Rhapsody 9028. The point of view
# is quite Eurocentric, but it does spend a bit of time at the Dolphy's house
# in LA. A guy named Joe O'Con bought the house after the Dolphys died and
# maintained it as a museum/community center until it was destroyed in the
# riots in 1992. He still runs the Eric Dolphy Memorial Foundation, so the
# concept continues.
# Musically, there isn't a lot of overlap between Zappa and Dolphy. Dolphy
# is noted for the large intervals he used, playing some form of the changes
# typically but the sevenths and thirteenths more than the tonics and
# dominants. He often kept the rhythmic structure simple in order to provide
# a basis from which to take harmonic leaps (although there are wonderful
# examples of his rhythmic complexity). Zappa instead tends toward
# polyrhythmic compositions with little harmonic complexity, often writing
# chromatic or serial structures (of course there are counterexamples here
# too, I'm generalizing). Dolphy was highly trained, unlike Zappa, and was a
# virtuoso on each of his instruments. Like Zappa, though, he was thought of
# as some kind of crazed radical revolutionary, in spite of their obvious
# musicianship. The other tie between them is probably their love of Varese.
# Eric performed Density 22.5 (I forget the actual density at the moment
# actually) many times.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# I really don't know what Alan meant talking about basical rhythmic
# simplicity of Eric's music. In his bop period may be, but what you'd
# tell about it.
# "This is a recurring figure around and improvised chorus. This figure,
# in 5/4, sets the rhythm section up with a definite solo feeling. In
# improvised section, the rhythms overlap. The bass follows no bar line
# at all. Notice Tony. He doesn't play time, he plays. Even though the
# rhythms section breaks the time up, there's a bacic pulse comming from
# inside the tune. That's the pulse the musicians have to play."
# Looks familiar? Of course. Want another quote?
# "I was thinking about Monk when I wrote this tune. He's so musical
# no matter what he's doing, even if he's just walking around. It opens
# in 5/4, but once the whole group is in, the basic count is really 9/4."
# Yeah, it's Dolphy. His liners notes to his masterpiece _Out To Lunch_
#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# ED was a health nut who avoided even alcohol. Diabetes brought about his
# death.
# His music has been a major influence on the likes of Charles Mingus, John
# Coltrane, and countless others. Musicians from the "old school", such as
# swing/bop trumpeter Roy Eldridge, have been amazed by ED's musical ear.
# I doubt FZ ever wished to make fun of ED; FZ has spoken highly of,
# performed music clearly influenced by, and/or played with many musicians of
# the jazz "avant-garde" of the 60's, such as pianist Cecil Taylor, multi-reed
# player Rahsaan Roland Kirk, and saxophonists Archie Shepp and Albert Ayler.
# The melody of "ED Memorial BBQ" suggests that FZ had listened carefully to
# improvisations by ED.
#
# From: jmi...@terra.colostate.edu (Jeff Miller)
# Bzzt. Judging by FZ's style, the Eric Dolphy *Memorial* Barbeque is a
# toast to a great avant garde composer and musician.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU>
# First of all, Zappa appreciated Dolphy's music (he even included him on
# the list of inspiring people in "Freak Out!"). Secondly, the tune "Eric
# Dolphy Memorial Barbeque" really doesn't have much to do with Dolphy's
# music at all, as far as I can tell, being a fan of both Dolphy and Zappa.
# Although there is a sax solo on the Best Band version which is very
# Dolphyesque. So no, I don't think Zappa was making fun of Dolphy with this
# piece. (Another reason just popped into mind : it's not a very funny
# composition.)
#
# From: km9...@phoebe.albany.edu (MADIGAN KEVIN M)
# One of my favorite Eric Dolphy stories is when he was voted "Sax man of
# the year" or some such by a musician oriented magazine in 60 or 61 or
# thereabouts. His response was something along the lines of "Does this mean
# I'll start getting some decent gigs?" It appears that then ,as now, those
# actually playing things worth hearing didn't get much commercial reward.
#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
# About the Title EDMB:
# The first (or at least one of the first) posthumous Eric Dolphy albums (on
# Prestige) was called: Eric Dolphy's Memorial Album.
#
#CC
# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Please see the note to "Oh No"

Oh No
~~~~~

# From: stu...@apollo.HP.COM (stuart)
# Here are FZ's words, attached to one of his more memorable melodies,
# written in response to John Lennon & Yoko Ono late 60's deliberately
# innocent approach to the sorry state of word affairs then ( .. and now).
# ( Get your hands on a copy "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" to hear this in
# all its grandeur, with Ray Collins' 'swell vocals'. )

Oh no
I don't believe it
You say that you think you know
The meaning of love
You say love is all we need
You say
With your love you can change
All of the fools
All of the hate
I think you're probably
Out to lunch
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# "Out to lunch" is the name of a groundbreaking Eric Dolphy album.

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# "Out To Lunch" = Out Of Your Mind
# IMHO the reference comes from shops, often in rural areas, where the owner
# closes his shop to get lunch, being the only employee. Thus "Out To Lunch"
# == "Out Of Buisness"(temporarilly) So when someone make an inane
# statement, ref. song referred to in song, it is as if the person making
# the statement has put an "Out To Lunch" sign up, "This Person Not
# Working"/"Not Thinking"
# A good American slang dictionary is probably a necessity to grok Zappa's
# lyrics.

And in your dreams
You can see yourself
As a prophet
Saving the world
The words from your lips ...
I just believe you're
Such a fool

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Get your hands on copy of Roxy too. 'Coze you find there another version
# of this song named Son of Orange County. And another person trying to
# fool FZ with the words. This time it seems to be Richard Nixon brought into
# the world ( as suggested my Songbook footnote ) in Orange County CA.
# I'M NOT A CROOK!

Weasels Ripped My Flesh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#:-)))))))
# From: ar...@sun.lclark.edu (Matthew Arndt)
# An argument that the title track from Weasels Ripped My Flesh could be
# considered a song, and therefore a very bad song, is that next to it's
# listing in the CD booklet, it says "(Zappa)", which would indicate that he
# actually WROTE it.
#
# From: da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com (David Thomas)
# It's not just a song that he *wrote*, it's ART. The CD booklet and the
# title and the text next to it that says "(Zappa)" are the picture frame.
# But, if you prefer to think of it as just a song, then consider it a
# stylized vacuum cleaner solo.

CHUNGA'S REVENGE
================

Notes and Comments
ver.24-Jan-1995

Put togehter by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

Lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)

Transylvanian Boogie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Transylvanian Boogie is great. Combines a truly "non-rock" guitar
# improvisation with a really mean guitar sound.
#
Road Ladies
~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Road Ladies: OK, musically this is rather traditional blues.
# The lyrics are amusing the first times, however.
#

Don't it ever get lonesome? {yeah! . . . sure gets lonesome}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road?
{oh, there was one time in Minneapolis.. when I thought I
had the clap for sure}
Don't it ever get lonesome? [whoa-ho!] {lonesome ain't the word}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on a thirty day tour?

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# these quotes {} are Mark Volman...
# the other voice is probably Howard Kaylan and I can't work out
# what he is saying. It may be simply appropriate blues response
# mumbling.

When the P.A. system eats it,
^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# P.A. System is short for Public Address system. Before the days of
# good amps, mixers and monitors, bands used relatively crude set-
# ups for amplification. FZ complains about the P.A. system the
# Mothers used during the '68 European tour in the "Ahead of Their
# Time" CD booklet.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# About the time this album was put out, the trend in arena shows was to
# have an enormous and POWERFUL public address system (P.A. system), most of
# which were rented from sound and light companies. Not all such companies
# were reliable. Powerful amplification was EXTREMELY expensive in those days
# and many of the "fly by night" sound contractors would show up with a huge
# buch of plywood cabinets made to look like working speakers and rack panels
# filled with a few good power amps and a lot of broken stuff with the red
# lights wired up so they would look good.
# Frank was apparently referencing those performances where the rented
# sound equipment sounds like shit ("Eats It" in American slang) and as every
# road musician can attest to; not every performance goes entirely as rehearsed
# (as in:"And the band plays some of the most terrible-est shit you ('ve) ever
# known")
#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>
# The sense is right, but I think that "Eats it" refers to the point
# at which the Public Address system actually breaks down, as in what
# happens to you when you get a bad burrito and some rancid beer and
# Eat It.

#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)

# Well, I grew up in the Boston area, and "Eats it" basicly means IT SUCKS!
# So, if you apply that meaning to the song, FZ is saying the PA system sucks,
# and the band is playing like shit. Just my 2 cents.

Don't you better get a shot from the doctor for what the
Road Ladie do to you

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
# Means: get an injection agains the clap or whatever the Road Ladies give
# you. (This was written before AIDS came up.)
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Referencing, of course, getting an injection of penicillin from the doctor
# to cure the strain of venereal disease you picked up while boffin' groupies
# after the show.
# HEY anybody out there old enough to remember when sex didn't KILL YOU?

Twenty Small Cigars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is a really great ultra-cool jazz, in the same
# vein as "It must be a camel" from Hot Rats.
# The only problem is that it's too short.
#

The Nancy & Mary Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A fun jam, including a vocal drum solo by George Duke.
#

Tell Me You Love Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Nothing very special, but it became a Flo & Eddie Classic.
#

Would You Go All the Way?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A funny Flo & Eddie Song

Remember Freddie and Joe
The night you went to the show. (a monster movie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# There are a few lines from FZ intro to Roxy _Cheepnis_
#
# Cheepnis... lemme tell you something: do you like monster movies, anybody?
# (YEEAAH!) I love monster monster movies. I simply adore monster movies. And
# the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheapness, in case of monster
# movie, has nothing to do with the budget of the film -- althought it helps
# -- but true cheapness is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to
# the jaw of the giant spider...

The monster came out; everybody shout.
People all around you, screamin at the monster --
the monster from the USO.
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# United Service Organization. This is a partially federal, partially
# voluntary organization whose job it is to boost the morale of troops in the
# United States armed forces. The USO typically puts on shows (Bob Hope
# used to do one a year), maintains coffeehouses, puts on dances, provides
# counseling, etc. The song is a reference to the suspicion that female
# volunteers for the USO occasionally perform morale-boosting services of a
# more personal nature.
#
# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# United Service Organisation...I think they're the ones
# who provide "entertainment" for American troops...
# So - the monster is in the movie provided by this
# recreation-for-government-authorised-killers organisation.

Chunga's Revenge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Improvisation over a rather simple riff, but the
# wha-wha sax of Ian Underwood is really good.

The Clap
~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Offers some percussive relief after the hot title track,
# and FZ at the drums.

Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is really funny, including an
# Elvis inpersination and trombone by George Duke.

Hi and howdy doody.
I'm a union man; you can call me Rudy.
Any you boys not paid up on your cards? [huh?]
^^^^^
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# ... I think, as in, "Have you been paying your union dues?"
# (you get this AFM -- American Federation of Musicians -- card in the US).

to check and see
no wrong been done
that's one good reason
I carry a gun.

I hope the bulge
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# I envision Rudy as wearing a dark suit concealing a pistol in a
# shoulder holster.
#
# From: val...@soliton.physics.arizona.edu (Peter Valerio)
# Sounds to me like Frank is taking a common, everyday experience like
# concealing firearms and trying to make our inner children giggle and
# think about our (and in the case of the women, their) willies.
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# as in the bulge a gun makes in a wise guy's jacket. Plus it's kind of a play
# on the bulge that most rock stars are more concerned about.
#

Sharleena
~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Never really cared for this one, in any of the any released versions.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>#
# Why did he keep recording it? I guess he found songs like that fun
# to listen to as well as play, and Sharleena is certainly a good
# vehicle for highlighting Flo & Eddie's talents and is a logical
# extension of the Ruben & Jets/Valarie greasy teen age love
# song themes. He honestly LOVED stuff like that. For instance
# when I saw the Mothers in 1971, the final encore was a very
# slow, very straight version of the Shep & the Limelighters doo-wop
# classic "Daddy's Home".
# Back to the topic, I find the version of Sharleena on Playground
# Psychotics to be lots of fun to sing along with in the car.
# That "Sharleena-leena doodledooledoodledoodledoodledoo" stuff makes
# me want to sing every time.

FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
========================

Notes & Comments
ver.29-July-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics from _Plastic People_ songbook
were retyped for your pleasure by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

# Just Fillmore Rap To Start With
#
# From: pve...@vmark.com (Philippe Vezina)
# Yes, John and Yoko did appear with Frank and the Mothers at the same show
# that the Fillmore 71 album was recorded.They performed a song called
# 'Scumbag' which was basically all three of them screaming SCUMBAG at the
# top of their lungs.
# The John and Yoko album "Sometime in New York City" which came out in 1972,
# is a 2 record set. The first album is studio cuts and the second album is
# live. If you can grab an original or fairly old copy like mine, you will see
# when you pull out the sleeve for album number 2, that it is the ZAPPA
# Fillmore 71 album cover. The sleeve is an exact replica of the Zappa album
# cover, except John Lennon scribbled all over it and wrote down other stuff
# instead of what Frank had wrote "obviously John wrote the correct songs
# from that album". Also if you open up the album jacket, you'll see a nice
# picture of Zappa (with guitar) and John and Yoko onstage at that Fillmore
# show.
#
# From: j...@cbnewsb.cb.att.com (jeffrey.j.rocca)
# Yes, John and Yoko jammed with the Mothers at the Fillmore East. But it is
# not captured on the _Fillmore East, June 1971_ album. Two different mixes
# of the jam can be heard, one on John and Yoko's _Sometime in New York City_,
# the other on Zappa'a _Playground Psychotics_.
#

The Mud Shark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mud Sh-sh-shark

THE MUD SHARK DANCING LESSON!

My mind drifts back to a meeting, a chance meeting
in the Chicago O'Hare Airport
where the members of the Vanilla Fudge
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
told Don Preston about a home movie they made

# From:
# realname=Tim Bogert/Vanilla Fudge band member
# emailaddress=ejsc...@adnetsol.com
# message=The Mudshark Dance:
# Regarding the Fish Dance, it was originally done on her back. I remember
# she was laying down because she was sucking on Clive while I was kneeling
# next to him.

at the Edgewater Inn with a Mud Shark. I'm gonna tell you, this dance, the
Mud Shark, is sweeping the ocean!...

#
# From: ssh...@alesis1.usa.com
# I don't know if there is a dance or not, but the mud shark
# is about a band ( i think vanilla fudge, really) who caught
# a fish at the edgewater inn in seatlle, and procedded to
# plook some groupie with it. i think this is described in
# the real fz book. the story was told to a member other than
# frank, but supposedly the groupie person enjoyed it
# vigorously, identified with it strenuously, got up, dressed
# herself, and then thanked the band persons very much for
# doing this to her, and left.
# The interview with the guy at the edgewater, on playground
# psychotics, obviously took place after frank heard the
# story. frank seems to be hinting at what a person could do
# with a fish that they had caught the whole time. i also
# remember flo and eddie referring to the "Dance that would be
# sweeping the nation" (and the nation needs a good sweeping).
#
#
# From: ca...@brahms.udel.edu (Catherine M Leonard)
# I have a recording of Frank describing the Mudshark Dance to the audience.
# You open your legs, clasp your hands together & s q u a t ! To do it in
# 4/4 time, step left, step right, squat, rest. All the time you should have
# your hands together down by the knees. I'll have to check for the date, etc.
#
# From: rich.g...@suzys.altcit.eskimo.com (Rich Gregory)
# I have a bootleg where FZ coaches the audience on how to
# do this dance. He's got 'em all lined up standing, no, squatting in their
# seats w/ their hands between their legs. One hand between the legs to the
# person behind you, the other hand to the person in front of you (who's hand
# is between his leg back to you). The idea is to sort of duck walk & in
# unison with the music SQUAT at the appropriate time with everyone else.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Now that you mention it, I do remember Phlo & Eddie and several other
# bandmembers attempting this maneuver while Frank narrated from the side.
# It was a nice break from Nixon, Vietnam and Kent State. It was just plain
# idiotic looking! I REALLY wish I had a video tape of that show! Zappa
# showed us all that you could still have fun while surrounded by a world full
# of "plastic people".
#
#CC
# From: ra...@ark.btbg.sub.de (Ralf W. Stephan)
# Well, Frank says on 'Bebop Tango'(Roxy) that the BT will 'sweep/t(?)
# the ocean, right after the Mudshark did'.
#
# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)
# Also, on PlaygroundPsychotics, Frank interviews the desk
# manager at the Mudshark Hotel....Well, since my baby left me,
# I've found a new place to dwell, It makes a sort of Puget Sound...

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# On an (almost) related subject, the Vanilla Fudge (of Edgewater Inn fame)
# had an album called 'Rock and Roll' released sometime around 1968. One of
# the tracks on the album is called 'The spell that comes after'. The
# writer of this song is cited as 'Calvin Schenkel'. Bearing in mind the
# Mudshark episode, I wonder if it is the same Cal Schenkel? It's not a
# very common name....

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# As I posted on affz a couple of weeks ago, Playground Psychotics contains
# an interview by Frank of the manager of the Edgewater Inn. I consider this
# little cut to be essential to CC. The manager denies ever seeing any
# visual evidence of sexual activity with any of the fish that people catch
# from their balconies, though there's plenty of evidence that they catch the
# fish and just leave them to rot in the bathtub or on the floor. He also
# points out that a mudshark has sandy skin, which would make for an
# unpleasant encounter.
#
#BTW:-)))
# From: "L. Hirsch" <lve...@u.washington.edu>
# I just thought I'd post a bit about the Edgewater in case anyone's
# interested. If you come to Seattle, you just might want to stay there
# for the sole novelty of the whole mudshark experience. BUT, you should
# all be aware that it's a pretty cheezy hotel. It was recently renovated,
# so it looks a little prettier, but it's still pretty close to a Holiday
# Inn experience. Might I suggest going to the top of some building in town
# .. preferably not the Space Needle ($6.50 a pop) .. to simply look at the
# giant "E" that sits atop the inn.
# Apparently it actually used to be a nice hotel. My grandparents were
# very fond of staying there in the 60's. The Beatles stayed there during
# their first Seattle visit. As far as I know, you can still fish from
# your window.
# Not too exciting .. but there ya go. Enjoy!

What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay: well I get off bein' juked
^^^^^^^
With a baby octopus
An spewed upon with cream corn! AAH... UNH!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# I suspect something should be added to definition from my
# Dict. of American slang
# juke - v.i. To tour outside bars, usu. with one of the opposite sex;
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# juked - banged, porked, "penetrated"
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes--it means to penetrate carnally (at least the way I've heard it used).
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# To get off (American slang) - to enjoy, to orgasm, to begin to feel
# the effect of certain drugs. Juked is not common slang, but may be
# derivative of Jukebox, a coin operated machine that plays music.

An' my girlfriend, she digs it
With a hot YOOHOO bottle
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yoo-Hoo is an american (very american) soft drink. Non-carbonated and
# chocolate-flavored. It has a very high chemical content, but it's quite
# tasty. I haven't had one in years.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# YOOHOO is a dairy based chocolate beverage popular in New York

While somebody's screamin':
CORKS 'N' SAFETIES
PIGS 'N' DONKEYS

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I thought it was Cords 'n' Safeties, potentially referring to Bondage Gear
# Remember: The "groupie routine" was performed every night and it was
# always different. Stage #1 has a variant of it, as do many other Bootlegs.
# The routine incorporated many random elements and evolved over time. On
# Stage 1 it was just Cords 'n' Safeties over and over again.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Pigs and donkeys are supposedly favored animals for bestial acts.

You two chicks sound real far aout and groovy
Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
Mna-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...
Magic Fingers in the Bed (Picture it!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Anyone who's spent a lot of time in cheezy motels (the Mothers
# sure did!) will recognize all three of the items:
# -"Magic Fingers" is a type of coin-operated bed-vibrator. You put 25
# cents in the meter and the bedsprings & mattress vibrate for a
# set amount of time. I tried it once but it made me nauseous. FZ goes
# into more detail in the song "MAGIC FINGERS" from 200 MOTELS:
# "...Open up your pocketbook
# Pull another quarter out
# Drop it in the meter..."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This was supposed to be some sort of Massage, thus the name. This relates
# directly to the song "Magic Fingers" from 200 Motels (maybe Chunga's). Live
# version on Stage 5 or 6.

Wall-mounted TV screen:
Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "COFFEE-HOST" is a primitive do-it-yourself coffee maker. It
# consists of a heating coil and a carafe that looks like it hasn't
# been washed out since it was installed. It often came with a
# couple of packets of instant coffee. You plug it in,boil your water,
# pour in the coffe crystals and VOILA! a perfectly VILE brew.
# Generally, the best place to plug it in was the bathroom since at
# least there was a counter close to the electrical outlet. I'm
# convinced that COFFEE HOST was responsible for all those burn marks
# on the FORMICA counters in the bathrooms.

Formica's really keen!
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "FORMICA" is a durable laminated plastic substance generally used
# in countertops and some cheezy furniture. It comes in thousands of
# colors and designs. A similar version of it was known as "ARBORITE".
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# I'll assume the first is some sort of coffee maker; Formica is the
# stuff that kitchen and bathroom countertops are made out of. It
# frequently looks something like bad marble, or is of a color found
# naturally nowhere on Earth
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Formica is a tradename for a cheap melamine laminate used in
# countertops.

Funny you should mention it:
Our new single just made the charts this week
With a bullet! With a bullet!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# A song that was rocketing to the top of the Billboard charts
# was highlited by a "bullett" in the margin of the chart. I bet
# HAPPY TOGETHER had a bullet.
#

# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# Billboard used to put a bullet next to a charted record that had moved up
# some measurable amount from its position on the previous week's chart. (Some
# phallic significance just might be intended here.)
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# In Billboard's ,Top 40 list, songs that are climbing the charts rapidly
# are marked with a bullet, which is really just a large dot. This indicates
# that you're *really* hot shit.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Rolling Stone magazine lists a chart of the top 40 or so songs in sales.
# They put a black dot, called a bullet, next to songs rapidly rising in
# popularity.

Bwana Dik
~~~~~~~~~

I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyound your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..
^^^^^^^^^

# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Over-the-counter pimple medicine (or zit cream). I used it when I was
# a pimply teen even though it seemed useless.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Clearasil is a brand of acne (pimple) medication cream. Poetic metaphor
# for the teenage groupie.
#
#Mockery sung on a them of
#
# From: jar...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Jason M Arvey)
# Also Sprach Zarathustra, or Thus Spake Zarathustra, based on the
# philosophical work by Freidrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (watch the spelling very
# carefully...) by Richard Strauss.

Girls from all over the world
Love to write my name on the toilet walls
At the Whisky a Go Go
For I am Bwana Dik
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# I think I read somewhere (interview? Real FZ BOOK?) that BWANA DIK
# was the title bestowed on the member (no pun intended) of the band or
# crew who had the best success with groupies. It literally means
# something like "BOSS DICK".
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes, "Bwana" is a word used by b-movie natives when talking to the "boss
# white man" or the "BIG man." Bwana has come to mean anything big.
# Hence, we are talking about an exceptionally well-endowed man.
#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# Check out "The real Frank Zappa Book" for Franks explanation of "Bwana Dik"
# (In that chapter where he explains it to the court, I think.)
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# In 200 motels movie Howie Kaylan also boasted about being real Bwana
# Dik monster. And Aynsley "Binoculars" Dunbar too.

Latex Solar Beef
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Acetylene Nirvana
Hemorrhoids
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# Is it usual surrealist stuff or is there some sense behind it?

Iridescent naugahyde python gleaming
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Naugahyde is the fabric equivalent of Formica. It's a sort of vinyl,
# fake-leather fabric. It's what we call "wipe-clean" and, like
# Formica, comes in many colours, many of which do not appear in
# nature.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Fake leather. It is to leather what Formica is to marble.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Suede-like polyester fabric often associated with bean-bag seats.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Naugahyde is a tradename for a soft plastic used in furnature. There
# used to be absurd commercials on the TV about the mythical Naugabeast
# the plastic came from.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# _Absolutely Free_
# Brown Shoes Don't Make It
#
# Every desire is hidden away, in a drawer, in a desk, by a
# Naugahyde chair on a rug where they they walk and drool
#
# _Joe's Garage_
# Stick It Out
#
# Sy Borg: Touch the chrome. Feel the chrome
# See the screeming. Hot black steaming
# Iridescent naugahyde python screaming
# Steam Roller!

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The bit about Heal the Chrome is a knock off of Tommy that is only on the
# Joes Garage version.

Steam roller

All groupies must bow down
In the sacred presence of
The Latex Solar Beef
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Well, I'm not sure if these terms have some type of meaning together
# (such as a brand name), but latex is a synthetic rubber material (if I
# remember correctly).
#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
# Latex is the french word for condom, after the particular type of rubber
# it's been made of. There's a french comic advocating safe sex called 'Les
# aventures du latex'. So, imagine a 'Condomed Solar Beef'...

Do you Like My New Car?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- ... oh gawd... oh, do you like my new car? I'm ah... my Dad just gave it
to me for graduation....
- Ah yeeaah! It's a... it's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic, ah...

# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# BTW, I've never really gotten the point of the part of "Do You Like My New
# Car" in which the name of the hall the band is playing in is used as the
# name of the car ("It's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic..." "It's
# not only a Pavilion, it's a PAULEY Pavilion!")
#
# From: cav...@vnet.ibm.com (Keith Shiner)
# Well, how shall I put this.......The hall "is" the car.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Yeah, that's what I figured...but that means there were a fuck of a lot of
# people in the back seat...
#
# From: JRT...@prodigy.com (Raymond Ricker)
# Yes, indeed, the hall was the car and in the case of the Fillmore East
# "real futuristic" is a facetious jab to the hall's future (it closed
# shortly after the concert). As a matter of dumb trivia - the last group
# to officially play the Fillmore East was the rock group Kiss.

-"Come across.."
- All that's true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's Cream Soda...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
or a CEL-RAY!... but! we are *not* groupies! No matter what you think...
^^^^^^^
# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# Dr. Brown's is yet another brand name. The Company is still around,
# and still makes Cel-Ray soda (it's not _that_ bad). Soda trivia (my
# source is long since forgotten): When soda first started being
# flavored, they were all vegetable-flavored. The drug-laced artificial
# flavors didnt' come until later. Cel-Ray is out last link to a past
# where vegetable-flavored sodas really were all the rage.
# I think the point in the song is that he's SO deviant that not only
# does he like it with mainstream Cream Soda, but he even digs
# Cel-Ray. Yum.
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# Dr. Brown's Cream soda - I assume the bottle has a shape to her liking
# Celery, you know, long vegetable...
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Carbonated soft drinks that used to be found only in the New York area.
# Now imagine a soda with the taste of celery (sort of), and you've got the
# basic concept of Cel-ray.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Dr. Brown's is a carbonated beverage line which originated in NY at the turn
# of the century and, like the french phonetic corruption of a short cloth neck
# ornament, is currently in resurgence. Creme Soda and Cel-ray are two of the
# most popular flavors. I recommend them.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)#

# Not really that exciting at all. Dr. Browns makes soda's (soft drinks).
# Cream is one of the most popular (Basically Vanilla). Root Beer and Black
# Cherry. They also have (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) Celery flavored soda,
# brand named Cel-Ray. It tastes just like what you would expect celery
# soday to taste like.
#
# From: re...@watson.ibm.com (Diane Reese)
# Cel-Ray is indeed celery-flavored soda; it's made with celery seed,
# however, and has that edge to its taste. I personally think there is
# almost nothing as thirst-quenching as a heavily iced glass of Cel-Ray on
# a hot afternoon. It's still available; it's the most, um, "esoteric" of
# the Dr. Brown's line.

-"You see, there seems to be some kind of a communication problem, honey...
because I... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know an'... an'
I want some ACTION... what I'm talkin' about is, I wanna... a-a-steaming...
succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a...
with... how shall I put this... what say we hop in the trunk of your
Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF..."
^^^^^^^^
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# I think it's just a joke because it was such a cruddy little AMC vehicle
# with a very small hatch in the back. Probably just a funny thought that
# anyone would try to make it in such a confined (not to mention unromantic)
# space.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# There's absolutely NOTHING exciting about having a Gremlin, which I
# guess is the point. It's a cheap pseudo-sporty AMC car that I
# think came with a hatchback. It's just the kind of thing a
# suburban groupie wanna-be would have her father buy for her (along
# with a COLOR-NOTE ORGAN, ha ha) .
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# The Gremlin is a rather silly-looking car from the early 70's... Little
# box, usually came in green or some other loud color.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# It was a real cheap, cheesy American Motors product. It had no trunk.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The AMC Gremlin was a very funny looking car. You RARELY see them on the
# road anymore. Europeans probably wouldn't find them funny, as it looks
# kind of like a pregnant Citroen. Nothing exciting at all, they were very
# mundane cars in the 70's although perhaps they were semi-chic in 71.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Gremlin was an unfortunate name for an auto. A gremlin is a evil
# spirit or sprite that makes mechanical things break down. It was an
# early hatch back design, making it possible to literally jump in
# the trunk.

- Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a man...
picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo canes!
three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in
the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with
^^^^^^^^^
pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until

# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# enchilada - "inch - ill - la - da" like a burrito but usually covered in
# sauce.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Tortilla with goodies wrapped inside. Try one with a Creme Soda.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# That's "One enchilada" - it goes with "3 unreleased recordings.."
# Yes, it's mexican food. Something encased in a corn torilla and usually
# baked and covered in some kind of sauce.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Yes en-chill-ah-da is a phallic cylinder wrapped in a tortilla,
# and covered in cheese and sauce. A good one is pretty tasty and filling.

(all sing "Happy Together")

# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# As far as I know this was truly a hit single. Unless memory fails, The
# Turtles are the one-hit wonder associated with this song. (oh no. Now
# I've offended all the die-hard Turtles Fans out there. Both of them.)
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# `They must be the writers of the tune. It most certainly hit the charts
# with a bullet. From the "Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock":
#
# The Turtles:
# ...
# The Turtles weren't content, however, and were about to break up; but first
# they released "Happy Together", which proved to be their biggest hit,
# and one of 1967's Top Ten records."
#
# The entry also notes that Jim Pons was in the Turtles, and followed
# Volman & Kaylan to the Mothers and later to Flo & Eddie.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Not sure who the songwriters were, but it was a BIG hit. It was made
# famous by the Turtles, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman who joined Frank's
# band to do more outrageous things. The only reason they sing this song is
# out of self-mockery.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# This song ( in accordance with vin...@ee.tut.fi< Vinksu Chandrasekhar>)
# is officially credited to Bonner/Gordon .
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
# He chose it because it was the biggest hit by the former band of his two
# vocalists. Mark Volman (aka Flo) and Howard Kaylan (aka Eddie) have been
# singing together for ages. They had a surf band called the Crossfires,
# which evolved into the Turtles. When the Turtles broke up, they joined the
# Mothers. After the Rainbow incident, they recorded at least five albums as
# Flo and Eddie. In recent years they have been working as djs and touring
# as the Turtles.
# "Happy Together" was released in February, 1967, so I don't imagine it was
# high on the charts anymore in 1970.

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part5

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 5 of 9 |

| |
| Maintained by Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su) |
| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

| part 5 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

ONE SIZE FITS ALL
=================

Notes & Comments
ver.05-April-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from LP cover
and
the excerpt from _Filmore East_ Bwana Dik
from
j...@paris.cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Just a little bit of OSFA rap :-)))))
#
# Two of most respected members of a.f.f.-z. community
# s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)
# and
# rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# testified one day under the oath that there are exist strong and
# undisputed evidences that the guy mentioned among 'those who play this'
# as
# Bloodshot Rollin' Red - harmonica when present
# was in fact our dear old buddy Captain Beefheart.

Inca Roads
~~~~~~~~~~~

Did a booger-bear
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# I believe "Inca Roads" refers to the ancient ruins in South America
# that many people speculate were landing sites for aliens (booger
# bears) from outer space. Thus, these were spaces made by the Indians
# (first to the bill, carving up the hills), for Chester's things to
# land.....

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The "Booger-Bear award" was presented nightly to the member of the band or
# crew who managed to score with the ugliest groupie. Perellis won it
# frequently. That's the same Perellis with a "fondness for certain members
# of the canine species"
#
# From: aa...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (David Millman)
# Have you ever noticed that the lyrics to Inca Roads start off fantastically,
# but that then Frank seemed to lose it and trailed off into guacamole,
# armadillo, and booger-bear?
# Frank noticed this, and that's why the vocals in the song become incoherent
# at the beginning of the bad part, around the 'indians first on the bill'
# bit.

Guacamole Queen
^^^^^^^^^

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The Guacamole Queen was a taco stand of sorts. It's folkloric significance
# will have to be left to the more knowledgable participants of this forum.

At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Recordings prior to their show at the Armadillo in Austin Texas do not
# contain the lyric:
# Did a Booger-Bear come from out there just land on Perellis
# Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen
# At the Armadillo in Austin Texas.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# And it doesn't leave that stale aftertaste....
#
# "....Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen
# At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura..."
#
# The woman made GREAT big chocolate chip cookies, and nachos that were a
# meal in themselves...and Frank knew it, too, having scarfed down his share.
# Oh, just remembered this: (approximate)
# "...and everybody be sure and stop by the food bar in the back, and get
# yourself some Armadillo cookies _(big smile here)_ and some Armadillo
# nachos....and if you'll just blow your smoke _that_ way, we'll all have a
# good time..."
# -FZ, Austin 1977

Can't Afford No Shoes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation got my load
^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# "Emergent nation" -- a third world country emerging onto the world
# scene, economically or militarily. I can't explain the connection to
# a trip to the market for some detergent....

#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>

# I have always taken those two lines to depict the following
# simple scene:
# While at the laundromat, our hero goes to the back of the premises to
# buy some cheap detergent from the detergent-dispensing machine after
# stowing his laundry in an empty washer. While he's busy pumping
# coins into the detergent dispenser, a disdvantaged member of an
# emerging third-world country deftly steals the clothes. End of scene.

Evelyn, A Modified Dog
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cusious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the Steinway (or even from within)"

#CC

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Is there somebody in the piano? (See Lumpy Gravy, Civilization Phase III)
# Evelyn seems to think so:
#
# "Evelyn [...]
# Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
# In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
# And other highly ambient domains..."
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# This entire song is a reference to the Lumpy Gravy recording sessions. For
# the un or half-informed: In the Lumpy Gravy sessions numerous people were
# closely gathered around a grand piano to speak on many subjects of
# significance and insignificance. At the same time a large weight was set
# on the piano's sustain pedal so that it was always depressed. This has the
# effect of setting up a very spacey and ambient resonance as the piano
# strings vibrate sympathetically with the sound waves created by the persons
# speaking. Since all of the strings of the piano are vibrating, the musical
# effect can be referred to as pan-chromatic (that is, all chromatic tones
# are heard). Another musical use of pan-<music-word> is "Pan-Diatonicism".
# This is what you'd get if you went and slammed your forearms across only
# the white keys of the piano - one could say that the noise that came out
# was "Pan-Diatonic".

Florentine Pogen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#from a.f.f-z FAQ 1/8
#
# From: lis...@sics.se (Bjorn Lisper)
# "Pogens" is an anglified spelling of the Swedish bakery "Pagens"
# (where the "a" has a ring on top). "Pagens" is south Swedish dialect
# and means "the boy's" (cookies, say). In Sweden, Pagens makes all
# sorts of cookies, bread etc. It turns out that these Florentine
# Pogens being sold in California are a type of cookie that Pagens
# sells in Sweden, but under a different name. So Pagens seems to have
# some business in California as well.
#

# From: Don White <whi...@hccs.cc.tx.us>

# It's a cookie. My mom went to the store one time (this was in 1979), and
# came back bags of groceries. She had not known what she had done when she
# bought the package of Pogens, but I roared in amazement and delight at the
# sight. She though I was nuts. The company that made Pogens made other
# kinds as well, 'though I couldn't tell you now what they were.
# Chocolate Pogens? Mallomar Pogens? Pecan Pogens?

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

She was a debutante daisy
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A debutante is basically a young rich girl. Daisy is a flower but it is
# also expresses naivete'
#
# From: kbul...@acpub.duke.edu (Kenneth Bullock)
# I read it as meaning that the song's heroine is the daughter of a wealthy
# cookie magnate. The song is probably a caricature of "rich kids" in
# general, especially those who are a bit daffy but think they're really cool.

With color-note organ
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)
# Just a type of electronic organ (the type that you can play, not some
# sort of prosthetic device). The name comes from the technique used to
# create the different pitches.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This is a really good one. In the 70's there was a bit of a market for
# electric home-organs (pianos! get your mind out of the gutter). In order
# to aid small children in learning how to play, the keys (notes) were
# colored and the instructional scores were colored correspondingly.
# These two lines just express that she was somewhat of an airhead with no
# real talents other than being rich. Look at how she handles car problems
# later in the song.
#
# From: mpc@mbsmm (Mark Clements)
# A color-note organ is one in which the various notes of the scale
# are represented by different colors. Above each key on the organ,
# the corresponding color is painted, so a musically inept person can
# just press the colored key corresponding to the colored note in the
# music.

She didnt't wanna stay home
An'watch the pestele go mortar
Later she speakes
On how Perellis might court her.
^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Interesting to note that this wasn't something new to the band
# FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
# Bwana Dik
# ----------
# My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...
# Why did'nt you tell me before?
# It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,
# but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...
# I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...
#
# From: wil...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net
# I just noticed that on the cover of Overnite Sensation, there is a fire
# extiguisher looking DEVICe that has the word Perrelis on it..

#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# Marty Perellis was the road manager. There are references all over. See
# especially "Babbette" on YCDTOSA, Volume 1, and "Smell My Beard" on Volume
# 4.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Not to mention the intro to Dickie's Such an Asshole on Stage Vol 3,
# where the Mothers are brought back to the stage by the selfsame Marty
# Perellis.

Chester's go-rilla

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This was writen in album liner notes
# Chester Thompson -drums; gorilla victim

#
# From: ca...@brahms.udel.edu (Catherine M Leonard)

# but signed Glenn
# Chester was attacked by a roadie in a gorilla suit at the end of
# Florentine Pogen during the taping of the KCET-TV show. This event may
# actually be in reference to something that happened to him for real.
# Booger Bears? Gorilla Groupies? One can only guess....

#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# I thought it was the latter: an editorial comment about someone he spent
# one night with.

San Ber'dino
~~~~~~~~~~~~

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)
# A Winnebago is a brand name for a type of motor home or recreational
# vehicle (RV), a sort of small home on wheels that is not uncommon in the
# USA. I don't know if they still make Winnebagos...

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A winnebago is the most popular brand of mobile home.
# There are two kinds - those with their own engine and those that are
# hooked up to a pick up truck (a trailer). There is a bizarre type of
# community called a trailer park where many of these trailers are
# semipermanently set up as small cheap housing.

#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>

# Often referred to in some mythologies as "twister-bait".
#
# From: mpc@mbsmm (Mark Clements)
# Winnebago is a company that makes mobile-homes, usually purchased by
# retired folks who then travel the country in search of geriatric
# adventure. Mobile homes are also put up on blocks (making them
# decidedly non-mobile) and used as permanent housing by many people in
# the lower economic strata.

She's in love with the boy
From the rodeo
who pulls the rope on the chute
^^^^^
when they let those suckers go

# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# The chute is the narrow fenced in exit, sort of an airlock so the critter
# (wild horse, bull) is moved from main coral into chute and is pressed tight
# front and back (by the fence doors) and side to side, so that the idiot
# cowpoke can get on the critter's back, then someone pulls the rope opening
#up the front gate and the suckers are let go into the main arena.

His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

#CCC

# From Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This _Call Any Vegetable_ guy was later many times mentioned by
# Capt. Beefheart in BONGO FURY _Advanced Romance_ song

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# The lines before are important: He got slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
# They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino
# This is a song about being in jail, specifically the San Bernardino County
# Jail (San B is the "county seat" of the county where Lancaster, California.
# When Zappa was arrested on porno charges and pleaded guilty to this
# entrapment, he was given six months with all but 10 days suspended. He
# served the 10 days in San B jail. He was in *TANK C*
# While awaiting trial he was in Lancaster City Jail which had been
# comfortable with pancakes every morning. In contrast San B was appalling
# (most of this is quoted from Poodle Play book which quotes from the Real FZ
# book): one shower for 44 men, cockroaches in the food, 140 degrees of heat,
# lights left on all night,"They got some dark green air and you can choke all
# day.
# Bobby with the potato head was echoed later in the closing lines of Advance
# Romance (Bongo Fury) and of course in the ppotatoe headed Mammy Nuns
# of Thingfish. Thus the potatoe head is developed as a sympbol of the
# government inflicting citizens with incarceration and experimentation (if
# you believe that Thingfish is a story of how the US Government caused AIDS
# to control undesireables).
# Back to the general meaning Of Tank. There is the obvious tank as in fish
# tank, a vessel for water. Gas tank Water tank. All wet places. In the most
# benign jail sense tank is a place for drunks to go overnight to sober up:
# The Drunk Tank. It is low security and holds alot just like a fish tank. In
# fact the word tank is a verb also. To tank up means to fill up a tank. Tank
# up on gasoline. Tank up (on bier). But to "get tanked" means to get drunk.
# But tank is a dry hot place also. Of course the military armored vehicle,
# roasting its occupants is a tank. In WWII, the small metal boxes for
# solitary confinement and baking in the sun were "the tank." So the "Tank"
# also refers to the entire jail or prison or in the extreme specific meaning
# (the exact opposite of a wet, open, crowded jail, it can refer to the most
# secure, solitary confinement cell.
# In the song, Bobby gets drunk (at the Palomino, the name of a type of horse,
# but here most likely referring to a bar/tavern/pub in Lancaster) and is
# sentenced to 30 days in the drunk tank, with 44 other men. There's only one
# shower but it don't apply to Bobby suggests that because of his stupid love
# for "her" he does not participate in the shower games (drop the soap) of the
# male inmates (i.e. anal sex).
# The joke of the song is that after getting out of jail Bobby and his girl
# stay in the town in a trailer park- in a metal mobile house parked in the
# hot desert sun. So he's still in jail and still has a potato head.

Ain't talkin' 'bout the Redlans, no no
ZULCH is the auto work
^^^^^
# From: David G. Walley <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# A dead industrial town in the Lancaster area, very desolate

Andy
~~~~

Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# A thong rind, according to FZ, is that callous that builds up when one
# wears sandels of the thong variety. I guess Andy Devine must have had
# one. But other folks have said this song is about Todd Rundgren. And
# no, I don't think Dean Martin had anything to do with it.

Sofa #2
~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This is Flo'n'Eddie epoch song. And it was performed as early as
# 1970. In those ancient days Sofa was part #1 of the long story ( more
# than 20 minutes on Swiss Cheese bootleg ) about Genesis. FZ version
# of world creation of course. The part #2 ( depictin' 7th day of Creation
# it seems :-) was Stick It Out later innocently incorporated into Joe's
# Garage.
# Below is a transcription from
# You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, volume I.
# Track: Once Upon A Time, recorded December 10, 1971, Rainbow Theater,
# London, England.
# which really helps to dig the meaning not only of the song's language
# but also of one tiny but cool maroon detail on the front cover of OSFA
# LP/CD :-)).
#
# From: ha...@jasper.music.mcgill.ca (Hank Knox)
# "Way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more
# elaborate than Mark Volman trying to convince each and every member of this
# extremely hip audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less
# than a fat, maroonisch sofa suspended in the midst of a great emptiness,
# a light shined down from heaven... And there he was, ladies and gentleman,
# the Good Lord. And he took a look at the sofa, and he said to himself,
# 'Quite an attractive sofa... This sofa could be commercial, with a few more
# margharitas in the right company... However, I digress... What this sofa
# needs', said the Big G, 'is a bit of flooring underneath of it.' And so,
# in order to make this construction project possible, he summoned the
# assistance of the celestial corps of engineers. And, by means of a cute
# little song in the German language, which is the way he talks whenever it's
# heavy business, the Good Lord went something like this (take it away, Jim
# Pons):
# Gib zu mir, etc..."
#
# For an explanation of other OSFA front cover tokens is very helpful
# Swiss Cheese version with long and proud name
#
# Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat Floating Sofa
#
# From: j...@paris.cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
#
# Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab (Means: A light shines down from Heaven.
# Kometen und alle rasenden Trümmer Comets and all rushing wreckages
# Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ?????? Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
# Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren Are trembling at the arrival
# of the Lord )
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical patina
# At the right hand of God big sofa
# The Lord put aside his huge cigar
#
# And concidered it was time now
# to entertain himself

I am the author of all tucks & damask piping
I am The Chrome Dinette
I am The Chrome Dinette

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Chrom-dinett = Chrome Dinette (Set) a post-war-50's table and chair set
# for meals. A dinette, usually an alcove off the kitchen, or a space carved
# out of a kitchen, or a 'small' dining room, would hold, usually, a Dinette
# Set, it could also be used as the kitchen table, my mom did. The times and
# fashions what they were, there was lots of chrome, legs and molding around
# the table.
#
#CC or One More Time For The World :-)))))
#
# And here is it
# (SWISS CHEESE/FIRE 20 MIN. SOFA)
#
# The Joined International Transcribing Effort Of
# Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# Gordon...@f113.n267.z1.fidonet.org (Gordon Keeble)
#
#
#If the 8-bit transmission is incorrect:
#
#letter Name spelling
#-----------------------------
#ß "Esszett" sz
#ä a-Umlaut ae
#Ä A-Umlaut Ae
#ü u-Umlaut ue
#Ü U-Umlaut Ue
#ö o-Umlaut oe
#Ö O-Umlaut Oe
#
#
# Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat Floating Sofa
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#
# This a piece for those in the audience
# who happen to speak german.
# If you do happen to speak german
# after this piece you'll probably regret it
#
# One,two,three
#
# Once upon a time
# Way back a long time ago
# When the universe consisted
# Of nothing more elaborate
# than Mark Maroon
#
# Oh, thank you Frank.
#
# Hiya, friends!
# What a life?
# I can't begin to tell you
# I mean.. today as I was walking here
# Just like every place else I go
# People walk up to me and they go:
# Mark, Mark, Mark
# Bark, bark bark
#
# I hear a little dog
#
# Mark,
# Are you kidding?
# And all I can say back to them is friends,
# Friends, I am not kidding
# I feel great.
# I mean I'm portly
# And I'm maroon
#
# What else could you ask for?
#
# Can anybody here in this audience
# In our vast audience back there
# Even you in the cheap seats
# Can you guess what I am?
#
# No, we can't guess what you are
# we can't guess
#
# Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues
# Clue number one
# (and I've already given this away)
# I'm portly Clue number one.
# I'm portly I am clue number one.
#
# I still don't know who you are
#
# OK,
# Then I'll give you clue number two
# And this is very important to the girls in the audience
# I'm double knit
#
# Ohhhhh
#
# I stretch
#
# And clue number three
#
# Oh no,no, Still don't know who you are, though..
#
# Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
#
# Does it matter with response like that?
#
# Clue number three
# And these are for the people standing
# right in front the vocal PA-mike
# Ich bin maroon
#
# Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so
#
# Once upon a time
# Way back a long time ago
# Way back when the universe consisted
# Of nothing more elaborate
# than Mark Maroon
#
# Thank you, Frank
# Hiya Friends
#
# Trying to convince
# each and every members of this audience here tonight
# that he was nothing more, nothing less
# Than a fat maroon sofa
# Suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness
# A light shineth down from Heaven
#
# And who should appeare but the Good Lord himself
# And his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell
#
# Down Wendell, down!
#
# And he was feeling fine that day
# And if there was one thing that he could use
# It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell
#
# And he looked at the sofa
# And he said unto himself : This sofa is all right
# Except what it needs is a floor
# And so in order to attain the floor
# He consulted with the celestial corps of engineers
# And addressed them formaly
# With the little song in Deutsch
# Because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
#
# Take it away God
#
#Gib zu mir
#Etwas Fußbodenbelag
#Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
#
#Gib zu mir
#Etwas Fussbodenbelag
#Unter diesem fetten, fliessenden Sofa
#
# And of course that means
# Give unto to me a bit of flooring
# Underneath of this fat floating sofa
# And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
# As far as vision permits
# Stretching all the way from Fondue Central up on top of the hill
# Right down to the front door of the Excelsior Hotel
#
# And the Lord proceeded
# To deliver unto the sofa
# A brief lecture
# That will set forth in specific language
# the sum total of all
# their future relationships, including options
# With an electric clarinet
#
# Ich bin der Himmel
# (This goes out to [?Irving Porter] in the box)
# Ich bin das Wasser
# Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
# Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
# Und verlorenes Metallgeld
# Ich bin deine Ritze
# Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze
#
# Ich bin Wolken
# Ich bin bestickt
#
# Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen und Damask Paspeln
# Ich bin der chrome dinette
# Ich bin der chrome dinette
# Ich bin Eier aller Arten
#
# Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
# Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
#
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
#
#I'm here and you are my sofa
#
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
#
#Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab (Means: A light shines down from Heaven.
#Kometen und alle rasenden Trümmer Comets and all rushing wreckages
#Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ?????? Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
#Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren Are trembling at the arrival
# of the Lord )
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical patina
# At the right hand of God's big sofa
# And the Lord put aside his huge cigar
#
# And concidered it was time now
# to entertain himself
# On the Heavenly afternoon
# With the sofa, Wendell, his girlfriend
# Who was a little bit short
# And her assistant Squat, the magic pig
# And he did it like this
#
# Bring her zu mir (Means: Bring on to me
# Das kurze Mädchen the short girl
#
# Bring on to me the short girl
#
# Und Squat, das magische Schwein and Squat, the magic pig)
#
#
# And Squat the magic pig
# And big light
# Because we gonna make a home movie
#
# Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
# Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
# Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Schwanz
# Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
# ( ?????? guys )
# Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
# Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# schwanz
# Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
#
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Magisches Schwein
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Magisches Schwein
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Bis es spritzt (?) (Both, es and er, is possible)
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
#
#Armed Forces Radio, Radio Free Europe
#
# Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
# You ugly son of a bitch
# Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Weenie... weenie, weenie, weenie!
# Make it go fast!
# In and out,
# Magical Pig
# Make it go real fast!
# In and out,
# Magical Pig
# Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
# Fire
# Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
# Fire
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
#
# (Please me
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I hear and obey, [? ?].)
#
#
# Sheets of fire, ladies and gentelmen
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of real fire
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
# which is a new form of fondue
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
# And the Lord causeth the short girl to kneel
# And make mysterious gestures
# Near the reproductive orifice of Squat the magic pig
# And proceeded to broadcast her pure sweet voice
# Throughout his greatest new PA system
# all over the Alps and everything (Yodle)
#
#Fick mich, Schwein, bis meine ???? dunkles Gas bläst,
#Funken schießem heraus, sich Nebel blasen(?) hat(?)
#
# And for our boys in uniform
# That means: Fuck me swine
# Until my orchestra blows dark gas
# sparks shoot out
# and nebulas are revealed
# Along with sheets of fire
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
# Sheets of large deprived rumba
#
#Lachen von riesigen, tiefgefrorenen Rumba
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical bandana
# At the right hand of God's big rumba(?)
#
# And his voice pronounceth out
# in sheets of plywood
# and bales of old sportshirts
#
# (Vot dooz he say?)
#
#Ballen von alten Sporthemden (????)
#
# And he says in the middle
# of his delirious stupor
#
#Beklecker nicht
#Beklecker nicht
#(...)
#Beklecker nicht mein Sofa!
#
# Obviuosly meaning
# Don't get no jizz on the sofa
# It is now time for
# the bales of imported unmiti-con..
# unmitigated zircon fondue
#
#Ballen von Zecken Fondu
#und alten Sporthemden Fondu
#
#Lachen von Feuer Fundo
#Lachen von ????? Fondu
#Lachen von Tränen Fondu
#Lachen von ??? kleister??? Spitzen Fondu
#

BONGO FURY
==========

Notes & Comments
ver.24-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

all lyrics except marked by *
from
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
* from
ck7...@csc.albany.edu (C. Gordon Keeble [gordo])
** from
Rob Sweet (sw...@skat.usc.edu)

with fantastic memories appendix
from
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
* The True Story of Bongo Fury*

Debra Kadabra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shit-ass Charlotte, aint that a bitch?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David=Lane%HQ%Rati...@Vines1.ratsys.com
# There's at least one other instance of this in the Beefheart world.
# In the "Blue Collar" theme song, the line "Foremen always wanna fight" was
# originally (only available on bootlegs) something like
# "Shit-ass foreman always wanna fight". I'd guess it was a local
# colloquialism where little Donnie was raised up.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# And Frankie too 'coze this song although been performed by CB is credited
# nevertheless to FZ.

Debra Kadabra, haw that's rich.
June, a rancho granny,
Shook her wrinkled fanny
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# fanny = heinie = behind = rear end = ass = buttocks ...
#

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Webster says:
# fan-ny \'fan-e^-\ pl fannies
# [perh. fr. Fanny, nickname of Frances] (1928) :BUTTOCKS

Witch goddess, witch goddess of Lankershim Boulevard.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: nude...@aol.com (NudeAdGuy)
# Lankershim is a long diagonal street that cuts through beautiful downtown
# Burbank and comes to a stop near Universal Studios. I got lost on it during
# my Honeymoon in 1981. I did find a great Pakistani restaurant and the
# chamber of commerce there, though.

#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)

# Lankershim Blvd. is the main drag in North Hollywood (that, incidentally,
# has little to do with Hollywood, which is perhaps, what, 10 miles away I'd
# guess). There were a lot of clubs on or just off Lankershim in N. Hollywood
# and it was generally a reasonably hip place to be for some people.

Cover my entire bodice, with Avon Cologna.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Avon ladies used to go (maybe they still do) door to door selling
# cosmetics.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Avon is a famous door-door cosmetics sales outfit. Periodically
# suburbanites would be paid a solicitation visit from the "Avon Lady"
#
#CC: This corrupted pronounciation of Cologne (perfume for men) features
# prominently in Thing Fish.
#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Martyn Dryden")
# "Don's mother, who sold Avon products door-to-door, had all this stuff from
# Avon stashed at the house, which everybody used. Y'know, it was free beauty
# aids. Don, being neurotic, and a bit of a narcissist, was quite prone to
# dumping any kind of beauty aid that he could find on to his body. He made
# the unfortunate mistake of taking some Avon cologne and putting it in his
# hair, one day, which made it start falling out. He also put some kind
# of Avon cream on his face, which made him break out in this giant rash. His
# face looked like an alligator. He was losing a great deal of status at the
# high school, and he moved out of our little desert community, Lancaster,
# where he went to school, and moved down to East LA to stay with his aunt
# for a while while he got his chops back together."
# -- FZ quoted in Society Pages, No 7, September 1991
# -- re-quoted in The Negative Dialectics of Poodle Play
# by Ben Watson, Quartet Books 1994.

and maybe watch the rubber tongue, when it comes out
from the puffed, and flabulent Mexican rubbergoods mask.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# Probably related to "blobulent" (from "The Radio is Broken"); it's a
# Zappa-word. I figure it means lumpy, rubbery, cheesy-looking.
#
# From: ap...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (John Gillies)
# flabulent Mexican Rebel Goose mask"
# -a clin d'oeil at Trout Mask, see also Mexican Art History

Next time they show the Brnokka
^^^^^^^^
# From: line...@delphi.com
# I think he is saying "Binaca", a concentrated breath-freshening fluid
# in a tiny bottle. Hey, it's Beefheart...it doesn't have to make sense to us!
#

Give me bas relief!
^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Yep, it's a pun. Bas-relief is a type of decorative molding or sculpture.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# An artistic style. I believe it is a basically two dimensional raised
# sculpture. In other words basically flat, but the objects are raised from
# the two dimensional surface to give a wee bit of depth.

#
# From: JRT...@prodigy.com (Raymond Ricker)

# There is a little more to this story - Fulcanelli believed that the
# secrets of Christian hermeticsm were to be found in Bas Reliefs throughout
# Europe's cathedrals - after he bestowed this knowledge upon a trusted
# disciple in 1920 (whereupon "Le Mystere des Cathedrales" was published)
# he disappeared without a trace. Thirty years later he made a single
# appearance to his disciple, before disappearing again, and, according to
# his disciple, actually had grown younger by at least 20 years.

Make me buy The Flosser
Make me grow branaic fingers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(But with more hair)

# From _Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary By Miles_ p.67
# "Oh the ultimate worst is in a Mexican science fiction movie called
# The Brainiac. It's one of the worst of the movie ever made and when
# the monster appears, not only is the monster cheap, he's got a rubber
# mask that you can see over the collar of the guy's jacket and rubber
# gloves that don't quite much up the sleeves of his sport coat. When
# the monster appears there's this trumpet lick that isn't scary. It's
# not even out of tune, it's just exactly the wrong thing to put there
# it doesn't scare you, that's the greatest example I can think of.
# Did you ever heard the song 'Debra Kadabra' ( on 'Bongo Fury')?
# That's what that song is about and when you hear in the background
# DA-DA-DA-DA-DAHHH, that's making fun of that stupid thrumpet line
# taht's in the movie but nobody's seen it over here so you can't
# appreciate the humour of the song.
# When he's saying 'Make me grow Brainiac fingers' that's what he's
# referring to, because Vliet and I have both seen that movie and it's
# fucking stupid. Mexican monster movies are great, The Aztec Mummy's
# Ghost that's good one too [Zappa: 1983]

Learn the pachuco hop, and let me twirl you!
^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I think it is a mexican american word that's kind of like "dude". "Pachuco
# hop" is obviuosly some sort of dance.
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# Slight historical note:
# "Pachuco" was a term used to refer to male persons of the Mexican-American
# persuasion. It was used a lot in So. Calif. in the 50's and 60's. I don't
# know how widespread the usage was. Another reference to the Pachuco Hop
# is on "Crusin' with Reuben and The Jets."
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su )
# The song name is _Jelly Roll Gum Drop_
# Got my eyes on you
# The way you do the bop
# Like a spinnig top
# The Pachuco Hop
# -from _Plastic People Songbuch_

Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I coulda swore her hair was made of rayon
She wore a Milton Bradley Crayon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# I know "Milton Bradley~ as a company, making indoor games. (I don't know
# any favorite game by them.) Maybe they were also doing cosmetica???
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# They also make colored wax crayons. The best-known US crayon manufacturer,
# Binney & Smith, makers of "Crayola" crayons, probably didn't meter out.
# There's also a phenomenon of large inflatable crayons that are given away
# as prizes at state fairs, carnivals, etc. No idea which is meant in this
# verse.
#
# From: tom.br...@dscmail.com (Tom Brunetti)
# The phrase probably refers to wearing too much makeup.

#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)

# A popular piece of clothing was (is?) a T-shirt that featured a giant
# picture of the business end of a crayon, complete with "Crayola" or
# "Milton-Bradley" (or whatever, I'm not sure) label. Maybe these go back
# to the time of this song?

I had a Roger Daltrey cape on
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# It was notable for its sheer pretensiousness.
#
# From: tom.br...@dscmail.com (Tom Brunetti)
# CAPE: garment that drapes over the shoulders.
# In the early Who days the cape was Daltrys trade mark. Look at it like the
# line in Joes Garage
# "we had matching suits and Beatle Boots "
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ <-- their early trademark
# In other words if you wore Beatle Boots, you were in the "IN" crowd.
# Probably the cape held the same meaning.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Actually this line refers to Roger Daltrey's practice during early Who
# tours of wearing a castrated chicken around his neck. It inspired most of
# his best vocal performances. Doncha remember, Pete Townshend wrote a
# whole rock opera about it. You know, "Poultry Wizard" and all that?
# Daltrey lost his capon, however, when John Entwistle and Keith Moon used
# it in an onstage gross-out contest, the details of which are just too
# sordid to post on the internet where children might see it.

Then she gave a pair of shoes to me...
Plastic leather, 14 Triple D
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# 14 Triple D is fucking HUGE. I didn't know there was triple D, there is
# triple E and that is the widest possible shoe size. The Widths are
# basically AAA AA A B C D E EE EEE. There are men's sizes and women's
# sizes. 14 is large for either of them. I doubt women's even go up to 14.

It might seem strange for Herb and Dee
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy

#CC
# Herb is Cohen and Dee is his wife.
# check also _200 Motels_ truck _Does That Kind Of Life Look Interesting
# To You_.

* Sam with the Showing Scalp Flat Top ( Captain Beefheart )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam with the showing scalp flat top,
particular about the point it made.

Sam was a BASKET CASE!

# From: line...@delphi.com
# The picture of "Sam" I have in my head is that of a paraplegic (no legs)
# ex-marine with a military crew-cut sitting on a wooden dolly with rubber
# castors (an image from some old movie I saw once). He leads a bitter and
# solitary life on the second floor of a tenement slum and his only contact
# with the world is the view from the fire escape. He is also quite insane.

Music was thud-like
^^^^^^^^^
# From: da...@pangloss.micro.ti.com (David Thomas)
# "Thud-like". Non-reverberant. The room absorbed every echo.

Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Quota would be referring to the amount of stuff they are expecting to sell.

Well, we've all come out to show dem,
And the Elks have helped us
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The Elks are an organization. These clubs are always involved in community
# activities.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# The Bevevolent Protective Order of Elks (B.P.O.E.) is a lodge, a club of
# sorts, where overweight balding middle-aged American men drink , smoke
# cigars, use secret handshakes and initiations, be patriotic, then drive
# home in their Lincolns.

Little Poofter-Cloth Appointments
Little Pofter's Froth Anointments
Little hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods
^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Doo-dads: gizmos, bric-a-brack, widgets.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Just a term which basically means "things". The subtlety of meaning is
# "small" or even "useless" things.

Yes, a special beer for sports
(and paper cups that hold two quarts)
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# He's referring to a big festival so they will be selling beer in disposable
# paper cups, but REALLY big ones so everyone can get drunk. (It's the
# American way, dont you know).

This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute (HYULK!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Pun on Bicentennial (two hundred year anniversary).

Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
Ah but we have been astute!
Signed: Anon. - Wyo. Galoot!
^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Galoot is an archaic term for a big dummy.
#
#CC: Thing Fish: Galoot Calogna
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# ga-loot [origin unknown] slang (1866): FELLOW: esp. one that is
# strange or foolish.
# See Warner Brothers cartoons starring Yosemite Sam for further usage
# examples.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Galoot: slang for an old man; a codger.

Cucamonga
~~~~~~~~~

Out in Cucamonga
Many years ago
Near a Holy Roller Church
There was once a place
Where me and a couple of friends
Began practicing for the time
We might go
On TV

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# In 'The Real FZ Book' he writes about moving into Studio Z in Cucamonga.
# Motorhead Sherwood also lived there. "North, up Archibald, were an
# electrician's shop, a hardware store and the recording studio. Across the
# street was a Holy Roller church . . . " p.42.

All we ever really knew:
That it was crazy (Nanook, no-no)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
#CC
# Our young brave Don't_it_the_yellow_snow boy once again. HOTCHA!

Advance Romance
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't stand it no more

Told me she loved me
I believed what she said
Took me for a sucker, boy
All corn-fed
^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Corn-fed basically means "fat". Refers to pigs and cows who are fattened
# for the kill on corn, but often used in reference to people.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# In terms of pigs and cattle, corn-fed indicates that they weren't fattened
# for slaughter with just any old feed, but with corn. It's more expensive,
# but you get a fatter, tastier pig. As a slang term, it indicates someone
# who's fat, dumb and happy.
#
#CC
# Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# You're both wrong - sorta. In fact, the term "corn-fed" is old music slang
# from the days of swing and is still used in some quarters. A "corn-fed"
# musician is one who came up through the ranks via working with professional
# symphony orchestras.
# Now, there is also a little-known slang phrase: "Corn-fed sucker", which
# is just a colorful colloquialism for "sucker" and this is the primary
# interpretation of this lyric. But, as with many FZ lyrics he most
# certainly chose his words with great care so as to have several different
# shadings (and said so in a number of interviews). If one interpretation is
# lyrically vague it will often be referenced or reflected musically. This
# is what's happening in this bit of lyric.
# The "hip jazz-cat" interpretation of the term "Corn-fed" is supported by
# the blindingly fast music which appears just after this phrase in many
# arrangements of this song. The fact that this musical reference appears in
# the middle of a phrase which lyrically has nothing to do with the music
# might seem to be just plain old AAAFNRAA, but as I have demonstrated (at my
# customary great length) this ain't necessarily so.
# There are other references to this kind of "hip jazz cat" slang in FZ's
# material. A number of examples are found in Yo Cats:
#
# "Get your fiddle, get your bow
# play some footballs on your hole"
#
# This refers to a session violinist who gets the extremely easy and
# high-paying job of playing whole notes (which in music look like footballs)
# while keeping the bow level with the widest part of the violin's "F-holes"
# (F-shaped carvings in the body of the instrument through which the air in
# the instrument gets out to interact with the surrounding air for the
# benefit of people who are impatiently waiting to sip overpriced cheap wine
# and be seen at intermission). The reason one would play "on your hole" is
# because the loudest and most resonant sound you can normally get out of an
# instrument of the violin family is to play with the bow level with the
# F-holes.
#
# "Saxophone, clarinet
# How many doubles can you get?"
#
# This refers to the probably forced hiring of one union musician (due to
# "special union rules") to cover both the sax and clarinet parts (a "double
# date") that way the musician makes more money than he would if he had
# played only one part.
# There are additionally a shitload of places in FZ's music where you fully
# understand the lyrics yet you're missing out on a whole dimension if you're
# not familiar with the musical reference happening at the same time. An
# excellent example occurs in "Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning
# Witch" at the point in the lyrics wherein it is written:
#
# "For some kind of ritual sacrifice"
#
# Going on behind this lyric is a famous quotation from Stravinsky's "Rite Of
# Spring" (which ends with a "Sacrificial Dance").

She took George's watch
Like they always do
(It was a Timex, too!)
^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# They were very popular at that time.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# They were semi-valuable when they first came out.

Potato-head Bobby
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
#CC
# He got slabbering drank at Palomino and they gave him thirty days
# in San Ber'dino.

was a friend of mine
Open three of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open four of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open five of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open six of his eyes
In the food stamp line
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Food Stamps is a welfare type program for feeding the poor.
# In England: Dole Queue.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Food stamps are an American invention; rather than give our poor people
# actual money, we give 'em vouchers that we call food stamps that they can
# buy food with, and not much else.

She had frenched his fry
^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# French fries. Fried potato sticks
# (You can see them forming the word "Thing Fish" on the cover of "Thing
# Fish".)

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# In america we call them French Fries. The French call them pommes frites,
# the Belgians call them just frites, The Dutch patat frites?, The English
# call them Chips. Each nation claims to have invented them, but in the U.S.
# we credit the French. No one knows why.

#
# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# I always took this to be a poetic reference to The Blow Job....
# and, sure enough - my Concise Oxford backs me up on this -
# "French . . . (sl.) fellatio".

** The Man With the Woman Head ( Captain Beefheart )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you with me on this people?

A coil of ashes collected on the white-on-yellow dacs.
^^^^^
# From: ap...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (William Moon)
# I think I've got it, trivia hounds. I once saw Captain Beefheart on
# Letterman. This was in the early years of the show - he sang Ashtray Heart
# - and he remarked that he had spent some time working at Kinney Shoes as a
# salesman. Kinney shoes. Where they sell a popular old fashioned type of
# men's shoes - big clunky jobs that my dad wears called DACKS!

Muffin Man
~~~~~~~~~~

The Muffin Man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the Utility Muffin
Research Kitchen...
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon he gathers an intimate quantity of
dried muffin remnants and brushing his scapular aside procceds to dump these
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#a.f.f.-z. FAQ p.1
# From: za...@bnr.ca (Ron Zajac)
# Here's what it is; two little cloth & paper icons of Mary, Jesus
# and/or some Saints bound by two thin ribbons (about 2.5' long):
#
# +---+ +---+
# | |===================================| |
# | | | |
# | |===================================| |
# +---+ +---+
#
# You drape the ribbons over your shoulders (over your t-shirt, under
# your over-shirt) so one icon sits on your breastbone, another in the
# middle of your back. I forget what sacrament the issuing of this
# thing is associated with; perhaps Confirmation. There were all kinds
# of associated cool legends that the kids passed around; that if you
# wore it when you died, you'd go straight to Heaven; that there was
# once a soldier who cussed/swore/drank/etc--but he Wore His Scapular,
# and bragged between swigs and pelvic thrusts that he'd go to heaven
# because he always wore his scapular. Well, he died during combat and
# they miraculously found the scapular 50' away from where he died.
# WHAT do you THINK of THAT?!??!
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# It seems that Muffin Man is a direct relative or may be Father O'Blivion
# himself busy with scientificaly conceived and approved Saint Alfonzo's
# Pancake:-) In other words religion and cheap flour-based fried stuff were
# inseparable for FZ. And mean rancind oil stink of charity muffin or
# pancake from Joe The Lost Soul amend making. Amen.

He turns to us and speaks:
"SOME PEOPLE LIKE CUPCAKES BETTER. I FOR ONE CARE LESS FOR THEM!"

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# It's difficult to explain: like trying to explain why a joke is funny
# and succeeding in only confusing your victim.
# "I FOR ONE CARE LESS FOR THEM!" - sounds portentious, pretentious,
# rhythmically amusing, silly, a lot of emphasis for such a seemingly
# trivial matter...

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing
anointment utensil he poots forths a quarter-ounce green rosette
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It's not a wall ornament object. Rosette means a small Rose. When you
# squirt out a small (quarter-ounce) dollop of icing onto a cake or muffin it
# makes a little rose like pattern. This is what the muffin man is doing
# with green icing.

# And at last!...

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
#

# The True Story of Bongo Fury
# ------------------------------
#
# I attended the second Bongo Fury show, 21 May 1975, at Armadillo World
# Headquarters. Herewith some of my memories of it, and responses to a
# couple of questions.
# The Armadillo (or AWHQ) was an old Nat'l Guard Armory that had also
# served as a skating rink. It was located in a part of Austin, south of the
# Colorado River, that's right on the border where the downtown business
# district gives way to a neighborhood. Around 1970, some enterprising
# hippies transformed it into a music hall in the spirit of the defunct
# Vulcan Gas Company. They struggled with it til about 1972, when both Willie
# Nelson and Freddie King decided they liked playing there and began doing so
# often.
# As a music hall, it was mid-sized, held about 2500 people comfortably.
# There was a stage, the main floor (which usually had only a few rows of
# chairs at back, people mainly sitting on the floor), a raised area at back
# where folks could sit at tables, two bars (one on each side of the hall)
# and the food counter off to the side. For a long time, the main floor was
# covered by many 3-square-yard patches of carpeting. Pretty handy - when
# one got soaked with beer, it could just be replaced. In the late 70s, they
# carpeted the whole place with red outdoor pile, and it never smelled the
# same again.
# There was also a nice beer garden outside.
# It was popular with touring musicians because, unlike most other concert
# venues, a point was made of feeding the bands with real food, not just
# deli snacks, before or between shows. Evidently, no one was more impressed
# by this than Frank. Hence, the credit on BF to "the Armadillo kitchen
# staff, especially Jan Beeman." The actual Guacamole Queen was an early
# AWHQ cook known as Big Rikki, but she'd been gone for a while by this time
# and kitchen manager Beeman had become known as the GQ sort of by default.
# For the most part, attendance at an AWHQ concert required a person to not
# mind at least getting high on second-hand weed smoke, because toking was
# almost a requirement. Very democratic, too - if you didn't have any, all
# you had to do was sit and wait for one to come by. (At his 1977 concert
# there, Frank pointed toward the emergency exit at stage right, the doors of
# which were usually open, and said "Please blow your smoke that way.")
# I had seen the Roxy-era band play there in 1973, my first live Zappa and
# my first indoor concert at AWHQ. I think they may have been there in '74,
# but I missed that one. The concert was explicitly advertised as a joint
# FZ-Capt. Beefheart gig for recording a live album.
# As the second night's event began (I cannot remember if there was an
# opening act), the resident AWHQ artist/sage/MC Jim Franklin (creator of the
# armadillo ad campaign for Lone Star Beer) came onstage in some weird kind
# of priest garb, and growled "Ladies and gennelmen - ya Mothas!"
# The lighting went all spooky and the band came out in kind - I remember
# Bruce Fowler staggering out like the Frankenstein monster.
# The first disappointment was that Ruth was nowhere in sight, though
# everone else was there - but wait, that's a new drummer, not Chester. Rats.
# And instead of percussion they've got a new guitarist? Hmmm.
# I really don't remember what they began the show with, nor what all they
# played aside from what's on the record. I think Carolina Hard Core Ecstacy
# came fairly early in the set. What was obvious, right away, was that this
# band didn't sound like the one I had come to see - even though it was
# largely the same band, there was none of the precision of the earlier show.
# Instead, Frank was plainly emphasizing the bluesier side. Whether this was
# for Beefheart's sake, or whether FZ was really entering his guitar-hero
# phase, or even perhaps pandering to the AWHQ audience (Texans have always
# loved blues and electric guitar stuff), I don't know, but it gave me a sense
# of letdown that, to be honest, never entirely went away during the show.
# A few days ago, someone posted on here the second-hand statement
# (allegedly by another attendee) that the show sucked. That's not entirely
# true, but sadly, it _is_ about 50% true. George Duke did not play a single
# keyboard solo all night, that I can remember, so he was wasted. Napoleon
# Murphy Brock didn't seem to be having as much fun as he did before. Bozzio's
# frenzied style was so different from Chester's that he put me right off,
# and it took a long time for me to like him. Frank often looked stressed,
# like he was really concentrating hard.
# The most entertaining thing to see was Beefheart himself. His stage
# manner was awkward - sometimes he seemed to be grooving to the music but his
# movements were rather like watching Paul Newman or someone (maybe Dean
# Martin) trying to groove. At other times, he sat in a chair and, from a
# bag, pulled out doodads that he would inspect and set aside. (Hence the
# credit, "shopping bags.")
# There were 2 or 3 pieces, don't know what, in which Beefheart played sax
# solos, and I thought he was very good indeed at that.
# About halfway through the show, a stagehand walked on and right up to
# Frank, in the middle of a number. Frank listened to what he said and gave
# the band a hand signal, and I tell you, they stopped on a dime, clean and
# all at once. Frank then told us that a bomb threat had been received and
# we'd have to evacuate the hall. He seemed to know the layout, since he
# pointed right at the emergency exit and told us to go that way. By the way,
# you've seldom seen a crowd of people that was _less_ agitated by the
# prospect of a bomb than this crowd.
# Many people could be overheard averring that it was all part of the
# show, but I doubt if the Austin Fire Dept. could have been roped into
# playing FZ's stooges. They definitely were there.
# After 30 minutes, we were permitted back in, but of course I had lost
# my good seat and found myself near the back of the hall. The band
# returned, Frank said "We were in the middle of Capt. Beefheart's solo",
# he gave ONE downbeat, and the took up RIGHT WHERE THEY HAD LEFT OFF, solo
# and all. That was REAL impressive, I thought.
# There was one thing about that night I had mercifully forgotten, until FZ
# had the bad judgment to resurrect it: the original The Torture Never Stops.
# I wouldn't have known that was it, since most of what Beefheart sang all
# night couldn't be understood. But I did know that it was the worst excuse
# for a blues that I had ever heard, and was just sucking the life out of the
# audience.
# I feel the same way when I hear it now, on Stage 4. However, it's no
# longer the worst blues I ever heard: "Mannish Boy" as performed by The
# Who on their most recent tour is the winner.
# I remember Beefheart doing both of his album cuts, most particularly
# "Man with the Woman Head." When he asks "Are you with me on this people?"
# you can hear some response in the back, one of those voices being me.
# I don't think that Muffin Man was the encore number, I think it was the
# end of the main set, but that's fuzzy. Also I am not certain that it had
# lyrics but I don't remember there being any. What I do remember clearly is
# that it jazzed up the audience like no other number all night, that as Frank
# played I made my way in a trance back up to the stage area, stepping on some
# toes I'm sure, and that I was just flying high with him as he made that
# kamikaze run up the fretboard right before the verse comes back, and for a
# second there his fingers got tangled up, moving but producing no sound.
# (This is the solo heard on the record (and don't fuck with me about it!)).
# That deflated my high a bit. In fact, that's what I remember overall
# about Bongo Fury - a few inflations but a few more deflations.
# I do not recall that Frank started playing again after the "Good night
# Austin Texas" farewell - he just left. That leads me to suspect that the
# guitar outchorus is actually from the first night.
# It was a memorable evening, to be sure (obviously), but a mixed bag, just
# the same.
# The AWHQ closed at the end of 1980, after the landowner decided to sell.
# The last band I saw there was Bill Monroe and the Bluegrass Boys, but the
# next-to-last was FZ with Vinnie, Ike, Ray and company, and he told us we
# shouldn't feel too bad about it closing, because the way things were going
# there was no reason to believe that the place's special atmosphere would
# continue intact. He was quite right about that - panhandlers were infesting
# the beer garden and the staff had started to treat the customers badly.
# So I guess it was time; but I will never forget all the fun I had there.

# From: boil...@aol.com (Boil That)
# Re: whether "Muffin Man" had lyrics during the tour...none of the tapes
# I've heard from the tour had "Muffin Man" lyrics. The main riff seemed to
# have developed over a series of shows as a
# guitar-solo-vehicle-cereal-by-product of the dramatic, slowed-down final
# verse of "Camarillo Brillo" (same chords). Lyrics would appear to have
# been written afterward and overdubbed. Does anyone have any evidence of a
# vocal "Muffin Man" during the '75 Zappa/Beefheart tour?
#
# Keneally http://www.moosenet.com/keneally.html

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part6

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 6 of 9 |

| |
| Maintained by Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su) |
| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

| part 6 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

ZOOT ALLURES
============
Notes and Comments
ver.10-May-1996

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su)
on
1994 Russian Orthodox Easter Sunday :-)

Lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)

Special thanks to
Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Interesting thing to note about the album title.
# In France they say _Zut Alors_ when mean _Goddamned_.
# So it seems that the only language Frank have no time to abuse
# is Russian. Ne zappelos', tovarischee :-(
#
# From: U00...@vm.uci.kun.nl (Jan van Kemenade)
# The explanation that was given a while ago for the 'Zoot Allures'
# title (from the french : Zut Alors) is confirmed by what FZ says
# on the boot Titties & Beer (Zoot Allures live in Paris) :
# 'And now from our almost french title album Zoot Allures ..'

#
# From: jar...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Jason M Arvey)

# I'd say it is pretty much certain. "Zut alors", I thought, was
# merely a mild exclamation, sort of like "Dammit!" or "DOH!" for you
# Simpsons fans. There are other pun titles by Zappa: the obvious Sheik
# Yerbouti/Shake your boody is one. Some say that Grand Wazoo is a pun of
# Grand Oiseau -- Big Bird in France. Yet another is "Aybe Sea" off of
# Burnt Weenie Sandwich -- it's pronounced ABC (There is no real Aybe Sea,
# I looked).

#Front-cover mistery :-)
#
# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# From left to right: Patrick O'Hearn, Terry Bozzio, FZ, Eddie Jobson.
# I am not familiar with the answers altho I've seen some speculation on
# affz. I don't remember the details but the photo had to do with some time
# period aother than that album.

Wind Up Workin' In A Gas Station
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This here song might offend you some.
If it does, it's because you're dumb.
That's the way it is where I come from.
If you been there too, let me see your thumb.

Let me see your thumb. [Let me see your thumb]
Let me see your thumb. [Let me see your thumb]

Show me your thumb if your really dumb.

# From: har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu (Peter B. Harrington)
# The thumb reference explains an obvious way to identify anyone who makes
# a living working on automobiles. Automechanics typically have black
# grease under the finger and thumb nails. In addtion, the thumb has a
# tendency to take some abuse in this occupation, and after a while will
# have a hammered on appearance. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be proud.
#
# From: jsu...@moose.uvm.edu (Jane P. Suder)
# Speaking from personal experience? I think the grease thing is not
# exactly right, although they do have dem greeeesy fingerz.... but the
# hammered thumb thing might be it.....
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# As a general rule, the thumbs and fingers of mechanics are noticably
# scarred and calloused from working with cast iron and stamped steel. A
# seemingly permanent black stain from the carbon in grease and oil is also
# common in that line of work. In addition, mechanics are seldom regarded
# as members of the intellectual elite, so the stigma of a black, scarred
# thumb could translate to "destined for a lifetime of failure and
# mediocrity". i.e. "Wind up working in a gas station"...
#
# From: wi...@netcom.com (William D. Sterling)
# I recall, back in the 50's the big joke on the playground was to say:
# Look up (victim looks up)
# Look down (victim looks down)
# See my thumb? (victim nods "yes")
# You're dumb. (end of joke).

Hey now, better make a decision.
Be a moron, and keep your position.
You oughta know now, all your education,
won't help you no-how.
^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# In this sentence it is used in the sense of "anyhow" or "anyway".
# Many uneducated people in this country use the phrase "no-how" instead of
# "anyhow" or "anyway" as in the phrase "I don't care if the library
# burned down - I never went there no-how".

Many da camper wants to buy some white. [Wind up workin' in a gas station]

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# The most mysterious line in the song was clarified for me on this
# newsgroup sometime back. It's Frank doing a pseudo-German accent saying:
#
# "Manny de camper wants to buy some white."
#
# Apparently a reference to white gas, something nearly every camper needs.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It refers to white gas, which is something like propane that an RV would
# require. This is verified in the interview that the editors of Society
# Pages conducted with FZ.
#
# From: Jack Fleming <JackF...@aol.com>
# White gas is a fuel used in camp stoves & lanterns. It is basically pure
# gasoline (no poisonous additives like lead). Coleman was the
# manufacturer of gas stoves & lanterns.

The Torture Never Stops
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Interesting to note that this very, very long song :-) was first time
# performed in April 11, 1975 at Claremont College, California FZ concert
# by Don Van Vliet ( aka Captain Beefheart ) under the name
# Why Doesn't Somebody Get Him a Pepsi?

Wonderful Wino
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give me a five dollar bill, and an overcoat too.

#CC

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This connects with You Are What You Is

A five dollar bill, and an overcoat too,
a five dollar bill, and a Florscheim shoe.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Famous U.S. shoemaker.
#
# From: Rob Sweet ( sw...@skat.usc.edu )
# "Florcshiem" is a shoe manufacturer and retailer. Kinda like Kinney's.
#
# From: <AU...@ASUACAD.BITNET>
# Florsheim is a brand of mens shoes that have been around for 75
# years and they are of a pretty conservative fashion. When working in a
# Florsheim retailer most of our customers were Business men/Frumpy old guy
# types. A dirty overcoat and a worn out old Florsheim shoe would probably
# make perfect "Wino-wear". Then again I could be wrong, hope this helps.

Disco Boy
~~~~~~~~~

Disco boy, do the bump every night, 'til the disco girl
who's really right, gonna fall for your line,
and feed you a box full of chicken delight.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Chicken Delight was a fried chicken fast foodery, similar to Kentucky
# Fried. I can't explain it, but the above lyrical excerpt really captures
# the 70's.
#

A disco drink, a disco wink,
you never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.

Duty. Go duty!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# You never go doody. Children's slang for shit. I always thought that
# lyric was on the stupid side.

#
# From: Greg...@LFGMS.logica.com (Martin Gregorie)

# Slang round here used to say 'A girl like that don't shit' if she was
# really a cracker. Maybe this explains the 'never go doody' reference?
#
# From: C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)
# Yeah, it's something like saying "You think your shit don't stink."
#

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# But there is yet LOTS more in the folklore of doody. Lots of American
# males between 8 and 50 truly enjoy a certain amount of "bathroom and
# otherwise gutter humor" and find it extremely hilarious (myself included).
# Things like sitting around talking about tremendous shits you have had (or
# found in restrooms), farts of Blessed Memory, times you had to take a dump
# real bad and almost didn't make it (i.e. you nearly had a "brown-out" as
# in Pound For A Brown); stuff like that. Anyway, in almost 100% of females
# of similar age this sort of humor is highly unappreciated - you have to go
# "out with the guys" to find sympathetic ears - this is why it usually
# becomes "a guy thing". Most women act as if they don't even have a
# butthole, much less periodically extrude waste materials through it. This
# ties in with Broken Hearts Are For Assholes. Evidently Frank shared at
# least some affinity with this kind of "gutter humor" as references of this
# nature abound in Frank's music - a good example is the line "Don't let your
# meat loaf - heh heh heh" from The Blue Light (Tinseltown Rebellion). Oh
# and by the way, it's DOODY, not "Duty".
#
# From: Paul Adel <7561...@compuserve.com>
# Never go doody, thats what you think - a reflection on disco boys self
# image, i.e. he thinks he so clean, polished, sexy that he denies
# association with bodily functions. Note also that in Japan, women's rest
# rooms are equipped with noise machines that mask the sound of bodily
# functions because of sensitivity about self image.

ZAPPA IN NEW YORK
=================

Notes and Comments
ver.28-Jun-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics transcribed
by alas :-(
unknown netter

with
FZ vs. Warner Brs. Story
or
Lather/Laether/Leather
Special Appendix

special thanks
to
ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
jonno <jo...@vortex.biol.ruu.nl>

Titties & Beer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the blackest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
I heard the scarey wind
I seen some ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the side of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, Mystery

# From: Zack.....A Dangerous Person <10204...@CompuServe.COM>
# Y'know, It wasn't until I sat down and actually listened to the TEXT
# of L'histoire du Soldat that I finally realized the Stravinsky-Titties and
# Beer connection. When it hit me, I giggled till I pissed my pants, then
# went out and beat up a scientologist.
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# The comparison is correct but stretched. Given Frank's love for the work
# and the fact he served as narrator (I believe) in the early 70's to a
# performance of the piece, I think the tie-in is evident. But here is the
# actual story - lifted from the Stravinsky Works Home Page
# ("http://www.u.arizona.edu/~jkandell/music/strav/files/Stravinsky.html#45)
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# Scene 1: A soldier, on his way home on leave is accosted by an old man (the
# devil in disguise) who attempts to push a book on him. The soldier protests
# that he hasn't any money to buy the book. The old man assures him that the
# book will bring him wealth untold and that he will gladly exchange it for
# the soldier's cheap old fiddle. Recognizing a good bargain, the Soldier
# agrees but soon finds he can't make heads or tails of the book. The devil
# proposes a simple solution: come stay at my house for a few days (where I
# have good foods, cigars and drink) and you can teach me to play this fiddle
# while I teach you the ways of the book. The soldier agrees and soon finds
# that the old man was as good as his word. Scene 2: Satisfied, the soldier
# finds himself back on the road, but as soon as he reaches his village, he
# discovers that he wasn't at the devil's house for just three days, three
# years have passed. His fiance has married and has children, his friends and
# family run from him in horror, thinking that he is a ghost. Disgusted, and
# realizing who the old man really is, he throws the book away, but the devil,
# disguised as a cattle merchant, appears and convinces him to take up the
# book again and make his fortune. Scene 3: The soldier is indeed wealthy,
# but all his wealth can't please him since he has lost the only things that
# matter: his family and his fiance. The devil, this time disguised as an old
# woman, appears to sell him his fiddle. But when the soldier finds he can no
# longer play it, he throws the fiddle away again and tears the book to
# shreds. Scene 4: The Soldier comes to a town where the kings daughter is
# ill and a reward of the princesses hand has been offered to whoever can cure
# her. A fellow soldier in a bar convinces the soldier to give it a shot. The
# soldier again meets the devil and they play cards. The soldier, in the
# progress of the game, realizes that the only way to win back his old life
# is to lose all his money to the devil. The devil falls defeated and the
# Soldier triumphantly reclaims his fiddle. Scene 5: The Soldier finds he is
# able to cure the princess of her illness with his music. At the close of
# the scene he makes the devil dance a jig to his tune. Scene 6: The
# newlyweds are happy as they have never been. The princess begs to be
# introduced to the Soldier's family, but the soldier, who realizes that to
# leave the kingdom would put him again under the spell of the devil, refuses.
# But he can't resist the temptation of his wife's charms and so agrees. As
# they cross the frontier, the inevitable happens and the devil dances his
# triumphant dance.

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# It might be interesting to compare this song to "The Floppy Boot Stomp" by
# Captain Beefheart (on Bat Chain Puller). Both are album-openers, and the
# lyrics of both have to do with summoning up the devil. Don's song is more
# evocative and bluesy while Frank's is obviously played (very well) for
# laughs. The idea of calling up the devil (accidentally or otherwise) is
# itself a very old folklore theme.
#
# Technical Notes (thanks to Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com> )
#
# From: jayj...@aztec.asu.edu (Jay Jones)
# It [L'Historie du Soldat] is more often performed as a concert piece
# without narration. A performance of note took place on July 15, 1966, at
# Lincoln Center with Elliot Carter as the soldier and John Cage as the devil,
# John Cage upstaged everyone and stole the show, according to Aaron Copland.
# The terms opera buffa and secular oratorio do not apply in regards to
# Histoire because there is no singing. So, I think a burlesque or narrative
# is a better description, also burlesque is another term for vaudeville, and
# FZ referred to the Flo and Eddie band as a vaudeville band so there you have
# my 2 cents worth.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# And my 2 kopecks :-)))
# _The Real Frank Zappa Book_ p.116
# "Once I regained mobility, I decided to go back on the road - with the
# band. The band with Mark and Howard didn't exist anymore - they all had
# to go out a get other jobs during the year I couldn't work.
# The first post-wheelchair appearance was as a RECITER, in a perfomance
# of Starvinsky's L'Histoire du soldat at the Hollywood Bowl, conducted by
# Lukas Foss"

Well he just got out his floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter
^^^^^^^
Said: BANG BANG BANG

# From: Kimmo Pyykko <ki...@foo.tky.hut.fi>
# Just a "street name" for a gun, I'd guess this refers to a pistol.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Just rhyming slang for "gun". The type of person narrating this story
# would probably have a handgun, commonly known as a "Saturday Night Special"
# - a cheap weapon whose sole reason for existing is to hurt or kill another
# person.

"Man, You can't fool me...you ain't that bad...
I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls I had...
Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew, too...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^
'n both
of those suckers was worse 'n you..."

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Spiro T. Agnew. Vice-president under Nixon, who was faced with
# indictment by a grand jury for having accepted bribes from construction
# contractors while serving as Governor of the state of Maryland. This did
# not come out until both of them had been re-elected as Pres and Vice-pres;
# Agnew, seeing that the game was up for him, resigned. This was about 6
# months to a year before Nixon was forced out. Agnew never went to prison.

"Wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...
that you want to make a deal with me..."

"That's very, very true
I'm only interested in two things
"Yeah?"
See if you can guess what they are"

"I would think...uh...let's see, maybe Stravinsky..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#
# Just innocent mockery or another evidence of L'histoire-Titties connection?
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# More evidence I think.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# I don't have the text of Soldier's Story but I've seen a TV production
# and I don't know what this "connection" is supposed to be, other than that
# the devil figures in both tales. I always figured that when FZ said he was
# only interested in 2 things, and Terry says one of them is Stravinsky, they
# are only stating a fact about FZ.

"I'll give you two clues. Let go of your pickle"

"What?"

"Let go of your pickle!"
^^^^^^^^

# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# A pickle is a cucumber (or some other food item) that has been soaked in
# saltwater or vinegar. In ZINY, "pickle" is clearly meant to refer to Terry's
# penis. I've never heard the word used this way, but it is undeniably what is
# intended. "Let go of your pickle!" thus means, "Stop masturbating!"
# ("To let go" means "to release", so "Let go of it!" means "Release it!" or
# "Put it down!"

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "Pickle" is common American slang for "penis", especially as applied to
# infant or small boys by their squeamish mothers. Older males usually
@ discard it in favor of "dick" or somesuch.

"I'm not holding my pickle"

"Well, who's holding your pickle then?"

"I don't know...she's out in the audience...
Hey Dale, would you like to come up here and hold
^^^^
my pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage?"

# From: Kimmo Pyykko <ki...@foo.tky.hut.fi>
# Dunno if they were married, but she was at least his girlfriend at the
# time.
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# Not excatly certain but I heard an interview with FZ somewhere (or was it
# Dale herself?) that spoke about her sneaking in to rehearsals and hanging
# out until she 'weeermed' her way in.
#
# From: cgl...@vunet.vinu.edu (CUCFAN)
# Dale met Frank in an all-night deli in Boston when he was in town
# sometime in 1975. He told her that if she was ever in L.A. to come over
# to the studio and she could sit in on a session. When she turned up
# one day, Frank was working with the band, which included Terry. They
# were attracted to each other right away and got together. Dale continued
# to live in Boston for a little while but relocated to L.A. soon after
# that. Terry quit Zappa's band during rehearsals for the Fall 1978 tour,
# and Terry & Dale got married in 1979. They formed Missing Persons with
# Warren in 1980. Missing Persons and the Bozzio marriage both broke
# up in 1986.

She said "I got me three beers and a fistful of downs
and I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns!"
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# Alcohol plus barbituates equals instant fucked-up and black outs.

Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff

#:-)))
# o
# O
# oOOO That gesture I believe
# ( O
# \ (
#
#:-)))))

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# You got it. Not a bad graphic, there.

I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# On half-official semi-bootleg Lather ( see Appendix ) this tune
# was named Lather!

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# This melody could actually appear on any Muzak station, or in any
# cocktail-jazz-lounge, and fit right in - but FZ ensured that would never
# happen by giving it such a title.
# The take which appears on the ZINY compact disc is not the same as the
# one used on the original LP. Not entirely, anyway.

Punky's Whips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Historical Note
#
# In libel suit scary Warner Brothers decided without asking Frank consent
# to remove the song from original DiskReet 2D 2290 2LP release.
# Among most known results of the unauthorised action were end of 9 years of
# FZ-WB collaboration and Lather 4LP contoversy. For details see Appendix
# below.

I can't stand the way he pouts
("Cause he might not be pouting for me!)

# Pouts forth? Was Punky Meadows real name Ronnie?

#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# "Poot" is a slang word for "fart" (and one that I myself have never
# encountered outside of FZ's work). "Pout" is a regular, everyday word
# meaning "to protrude the lips in an expression of displeasure or sulkiness"
# (American Heritage Dictionary). The two words are different both in
# spelling and in pronunciation.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# A "pout" is a facial expression denoting displeasure, most often used
# by young children when they have been thwarted by their mommies. Have you
# ever seen a kid with a big frown, and lower lip thrust out farther than
# upper lip? That's a pout.
#

Isn't it romantic, Punky?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Please note that at this point, the band plays the melody of the
# 1930s pop tune "Isn't It Romantic?"

Punky, Punky, give me your lips
To die on... I promise not to come in your mouth
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# See previous tune
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# see above pouting definition.

I ain't really queer
But if he ever get near
Steven Tyler would PAY to see!
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: johan_...@ssco.se (johan wikberg)
# Lead singer of Aerosmith - notoriously gay and straight at the same time :)
# (real name Talarico). I've always wondered why he had no say-so on this tune
# being released or not. Maybe Aerosmith were not as hot as Angel in 76-77?

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Lead singer of Aerosmith, who looks like Mick Jagger. In other words,
# he too has a big pouty mouth.

He's been havin' a rash
That keeps the girl away
Skin doom is what the doctors say.

# Is it some factoid from Japanese fanzine in question? Seems to be more
# like Michael Jackson story.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Well, I never heard "skin doom" before this, but please remember that
# these concerts happend in 1976, when MJ was still a member of the Jackson
# 5, and whatever fanzine you're talking about probably didn't exist.
# Zappa's kids were in school by then, I think, and maybe he heard it from
# them.
#
# The fanzine was metioned in liners notes, John.
# "A song about Terry's lithoeroticization via a Japanese fanzine called
# ONGAKU." So the question remains. What had plagued Punky Meadow?

I wonder if Punky's rehearsin' today
I'll just go over, 'n hear him play
His hair is so pretty... I'd like to bite his neck
I've heard a rumor he's more fluid than Jeff Beck
^^^^^^^^^
# The appropriate quote

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
#

# Q: Jeff Beck?
# FZ: One of my favorite guitar players on the planet. From a melodic
# standpoint and just in terms of the conception of what he plays, he's
# fabulous. I like Jeff.
#
# This is the second of 2 Frank Zappa interviews which were
# transcribed from an imported CD called "The Frank Zappa Interview
# Picture Disk".[Baktabak, BAK 2019, England] According to my closest
# estimation based on the interview's context, it must have been
# conducted sometime in early to mid 1984.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Very interesting also that Terry Not Gay Bozzio later played side
# by side with fluent Beck. Check out _Guitar Shop_ album of JB.

Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was the Playboy Type (he smoke a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"
He had an Irish Setter
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Named Fido? Or it wasn't popular dogs name among Playboy Types

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
^^^^^^^^^^^
# singles bar - for persons seeking social companion
# The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English

The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the bump together

^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Favorite dance of the discotheque era, mostly involving a man and
# woman bumping their hips together side-by-side. Described pretty well in
# Freddie King's song "Boogie Bump".
#
#CC
# From: jonno <jo...@vortex.biol.ruu.nl>
# And of course our "Disco Boy" from Zoot Allures does the bump as well!
#
# Zoot Allures. _Disco Boy_
#
# Disco boy, do the bump every night, 'til the disco girl
# who's really right, gonna fall for your line,
# and feed you a box full of chicken delight.

What a splendid sight,(Ren-nen-nen-nen) her teeth were white
The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
He was glad that he met her

# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# Thursday (or some other weeknight), women are admitted to the club free,
# but men have to pay to get in.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# There aren't so many of them now, what with campaigns against drunk
# driving, date rape, men in general, etc. But in the 70s bars usually had a
# once-or-twice-a-week "Ladies Night" where women would be admitted without
# cover charge, or sold drinks at half-price. Men tended to assume that
# these were the best nights to pick up girls, and the bars thought that too.
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# Bar ploy to attract ladies in for free and therfore more paying men to
# clubs. Or at the very least special drink prices for the ladies for the same
# tactic.

She was an office girl ("My name is Betty")
Her fav'rite group was HELEN REDDY
^^^^^^^^^^^
(They discussed the weather)

# From: Robert Lumley-Sapanski <RX...@psuvm.psu.edu>
# Helen Reddy was not a group but a female singer whose one claim to fame
# was her hit single,"I Am Woman". She was not a very good singer but
# happened along with that song at the right time and I'm sure she felt
# very good about herself....as did her bank account. She recorded a few
# more songs and went the Las Vegas etc route. "if I had to, I could do
# anything....I AM WOOOOMAN!" She is not to be confused with Alice Cooper
# or Helen Waite........yer uncle bob.
#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)
# ... unlike Twisted Sister, Helen Reddy was not a group, she was a
# woman (although her hit single, containing the lyrics, "I am woman, hear me
# roar in numbers too big to ignore" might give the impression she actually
# was a group).
#

# From: "L. Hirsch" <lve...@u.washington.edu>

# She had a big hit in the early 70's with "Delta Dawn". You know ...
# "Delta Dawn .. what's that flower you got on .. could it be a faded rose
# from days gone byyyyyyyyy ..." I have no idea if she's still around though.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# On _Does Humore Belong In Music_ version of that song Helen R.'s name
# was substituted in live call-and-ask manner for TWISTED SISTER's. Funny
# audience participation second in great concert video.
#
# From: johan_...@ssco.se (johan wikberg)
# She can be heard singing backup vocals on the track "True Confessions" on
# the self-titled 1978 solo album of Gene Simmons, bass player with Kiss.It's
# still in print (this is NOT to say I recommend it).

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Helen Reddy's first hit in the USA was "I Don't Know How to Love Him"
# from Jesus Christ Superstar; I believe her record was released before the
# JCS album came out over here.

Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who delivered their dinner

# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# Insert hippie riff here (D cord with the pinky flailing around on the high
# G note).
#
#BTW:-)) From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# It seems that I read sometime ago that there was sort of a restaurant
# facility in L.A. run by real hippy family. It called if my memory serve
# me Great American Food Company. Something like this. Is it really so?

He took her home to a motor court
^^^^^^^^^^^
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,

#Is it just another word for motel?

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Yes, an archaic name.
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# Lots' of them here in Arizona. They are usually specially apportioned
# neighborhoods - sometimes private - for motor homes! Life in the USA.

But it made him angry!
angry, it made me angry, it made me so angry I could have killed that
lousy BITCH!)

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door

^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# A REPUBLICAN in _Does Humore Belong In Music_ version of the song.
# For discussion of Frank political views see _Broadway The Hard Way_ N&C.

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he asks to use the phone
And she gives him some head
^^^^
And that's the end of the story

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "To give head" means to perform oral sex.

The Black Page Drum Solo/Black Page #1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU
# In a recent post, Jeff Miller mentions that, according to Mike Brecker,
# "The Black Page" received its title because of the amount of notes on the
# manuscript "page." Has FZ or anyone else been quoted about this title?

#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)

# I remember reading once that the title for TBP came from a comment by
# Terry "Ted" Bozzio when he saw the sheet music.
#
# From: zo...@mindvox.phantom.com (Ron Meckler)
# I once saw an original manuscript of The Black Page at Don Preston's
# house. He explained that that was exactly the reason why it go its title.
# There were tons of notes!!
#
# From: sm...@teal.csn.org (Stephen Muth)
# I think the blackness from the black notes filling up the paper page
# is the correct interpretation, but am unable to substantiate with others'
# quotes and whatnot.
# The score can be found in the Feb 1987 Keyboard magazine, along with
# a piece of UNRELEASED vinyl containing some of FZ's (and Tommy Mars' ?)
# synclavier work.... a short interpretation of the music.
#
# From: eijk...@cupid.cs.utk.edu (Victor Eijkhout)
# The score can be found in the Feb 1987 Keyboard magazine,
# This is quite a good joke: it's printed on darkish green paper, and if
# you try to photocopy it, it comes out as .... a *black* *page* ...
# Pretty effective copy protection. With the copier on the lightest
# setting it still comes out blurred.
#
#CC

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)

# >Which of the YCDTOSA discs has a recording of The Black Page?
#
# Vol. 4 - `84 band (ska version)
# Vol. 5 - `82 band (reggae version)
#
# Other versions are on:
# Zappa In New York (hard version)
# Zappa In New York (easy version)
# Baby Snakes
# Make A Jazz Noise Here (new-age version)
# As An Am

The Illinois Enema Bandit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now folks it's time for
Don Pardo
~~~~~~~~~
To deliver our special
Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement
Take it away, Don

# From: hea...@AccessPoint.North.Net (Headly Westerfield)
# I am an American and even I do not understand the importance of Don Pardo
# in popular culture. By all rights Don Pardo should just be a nameless
# voice with NBC, an American network. He annouces for the network. But
# his name came into public usage when on a particular gameshow (I can't
# remember which one) the gameshow host would say, "Don Pardo, tell her what
# she's won!" Ever since then the words and persona of"Don Pardo" has been
# fodder for comedians (Weird Al, amany others), and other popular culture
# outlets. Don Pardo is now an Icon.
#
# From: tha...@fcca.csi.com (Todd Hawley)
# Well, he was the announcer for years on the Original "Jeopardy" w Art
# Fleming in the 60s & 70s (I guess that's when it was on). That's where I
# knew him from. He also was the announcer on SNL when it first started;
# Gilda Radner even did a bit about Pardo's house & family & Pardo did it
# in his usual game-show announcer voice. Those of you here in the Bay Area
# that listen to KFOG know him as the original announcer for Dave Morey's
# "10 at 10."
#
# From: rob...@kannon.sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# I think the album was recorded around the time Frank did an appearance
# on Saturday Night Live, during which he'd performed "I'm the Slime" and
# "Approximate/The Purple Lagoon", the latter while John Belushi cavorted
# as the Samurai Jazz Musician. Members of the horn section on Live in
# New York are from the Saturday Night band, Lou Marini and Tom Malone.
# Frank probably hit on the idea of adding Don Pardo for the sophisticated
# narration in the concert(s) during while at NBC for Saturday Night Live.
# Yes, I'd agree that Don's place in American popular culture merited his
# inclusion in Frank's entertainment plans.

"This is a true story
About a famous criminal
From right around Chicago
This is the story of
Michael Kenyon
A man who's serving time at this very moment
For the crime of armed robbery

It so happened, that at the time of the robbery
Michael, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
But his name lives on
Michael Kenyon
THE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!"

# From: drste...@aol.com (DrStephens)
# For all those who love FZŇs song about the Illinois Enema Bandit, I
# thought you would be interested in this update which appears in the current
# issue (number 79) of the _Fortean Times: The Journal of Strange Phenomena_
# on page 7. They reference the information appearing in this article as
# coming from the Associated Press (5 April 1975) and correspondence with
# former FBI agent John Finley.
# ÓThe chronicles of crime feature few more desperate characters than
# Michael Kenyon, a petty criminal who forcibly administered enemas to at
# least two dozen victims, mostly female students, between 1965 and 1975.
# Face hidden behind a ski mask, he would break into a woman's room, tie her
# up and get to work with his rubber tubing. Part of his ritual was to steal
# a single item from each victim; then, leaving the student trussed and
# terrified, he would sometimes phone the police to boast about his crime.
# ÓThe Enema Bandit first struck while studying at the University of
# Illinois. Kenvon committed a dozen assaults between 1965 and 1969 before
# graduating with a degree in accountancy. From college he joined the army,
# before taking to cleaning people out for a living as an employee of the
# Intemal Revenue Service. As he was posted around the country enema attacks
# occurred in Los Angeles, Manhattan (Kansas) and Norman, Oklahoma. On one
# occasion he administered an enema to a girl in a train travelling to
# Florida.
# ÓBy May 1974, the Bandit was back on home turf, attacking several
# University of Illinois co-eds in a single night. The police made little
# headway in tracing the culprit until Kenyon was arrested in connection
# with two robberies near Champaign, Illinois, in April 1975. Someone
# noticed that the method of breaking and entering was identical to that of
# the Enema Bandit and Kenyon was charged with armed robbery and battery. He
# served six years in prison and was paroled in 1981.
# ÓFormer FBI agent John Finley, who researched the case for FT, notes that
# Kenyon was a subscriber to Enema Digest, a specialist magazine for
# devotees of water sports. There is no record of further enema assaults
# since 1981.Ô
# Anyone who is interested in strange and unusual phenomena, should get a
# subscription to the _Fortean Times_. I highly recommend it. It contains
# some really amazing stuff, and much of it is really funny. The magazine
# is published in Britain, but can be found on some newstands in the states.

The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, *"You're under arrest!"*
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, *"No poo-poo jokes!"*

^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "Poo-poo" is a childish expression for "shit", in this context.
#
# From: Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
# A really bad joke along the lines of "What was Beethoven's last movement? -
# The brown thing under the piano bench" But I'm not sure that even qualifes
# as a joke.

The Purple Lagoon/Approximate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Here is a interesting FZ comments on Approximate from Grand Wazoo's
# tour programme ( Sept. 1972).
#
# From _Viva Zappa_ by p.113
#
# "Approximate
#
# In this selection each musician can choose the tone pitch they want to
# play. In the whole piece, there are only a few bars in which pitch is
# indicated (and these are introduced for the sake of contrast). The rest
# of the score is made up of triplets and crotchets linked by little X's.
# These are markers that show by their positions the approximate register
# for each instrument. The piece can be performed by ahy number of musicians
# greater than four. The general pattern is a single part that corresponds
# to all the instruments in C and F (including percussion). To this, another
# single part is added for instruments in B flat and E flat. The electric
# bass and bass drum have separate parts which are nonetheless linked to
# the others."

#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# crotchets (i.e. quarter notes)

FZ vs. Warner Brs. Story
or
Lather/Laether/Leather
Special Appendix
--------------------------

# Voice of Frank
# From: Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary By Miles. p.74.
#
# "There was one track that got removed, 'Punky's Whips'. They [Warner
# Brothers took it out. First of all they had no right to temper with
# the tapes. Secondly they didn't pay me for any off the stuff I delivered
# to them. I mean, they so far in breach of the contract and they're just
# so grossly unfair. For instance, that track 'Punky Whips' is 12 minutes
# and 37 seconds long. It's most of the side. They took it out because they
# didn't have the permissions from Punky Meadows to use it. Then they have
# the audacity to go ahead and release the album with 12 minutes missing.
# There was something in one of the papers over here complaining about
# how short the album was. It wasn't my fault. I didn't have any control
# over it. I think Herb Cohen was the one who took it out. [Zappa:1974]"
#
# *** And here starts the real aff-z FZ vs. WB story

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# (representing Michael P. Dawson - Compositeur Americain)
#
# Uhhh...errr....uhhh.....well, you know....ummmm...
# I wouldn't go so far as to say that "initial releases" of ZINY were
# complete. I've always understood this to be sort of a "butcher cover"
# deal (reference to the suppressed 1966 Beatles LP cover). The company
# pressed some copies with "Punky's Whips," thought better of it almost
# immediately, and substituted the "Re-1" version. Some copies apparently
# did slip through the cracks, although I've never seen one myself.
# Certainly they did not constitute more than a tiny fraction of the
# "initial release"--it's not like you could walk into any record store on
# March 3, 1978 and find an uncensored copy. (It's also worth mentioning
# that copies with "Punky's Whips" listed on the cover are reportedly much
# more common than copies with "PW" in the grooves, and even those are
# pretty damn rare.) One story I've heard is that the biggest source of
# ZINY with "Punky's Whips" was a cassette version available in quantity in
# NYC cutout bins. Does anybody know for sure if ANY copies of the DiscReet
# ZINY with "Punky's" EVER appeared as regular store stock, as opposed to
# cutouts? I doubt it, but don't know for sure.
# So the following is my GUESS at the sequence of "Punky" events:
#
# Spring 1977: Warners refuses to issue ZINY, claiming "Punky's Whips" may
# be libelous. Impasse. Lawsuits.
#
# Summer-Fall 1977: Zappa assembles Lather, consisting mainly of material
# previously delivered to Warners, and offers it to Mercury/Phonogram.
# Warners puts legal pressure on Mercury to prevent the release.
#
# Early 1978 (?): Zappa, momentarily unable to release any new product,
# plays Lather in its entirety on KROQ-FM, Los Angeles. Let a thousand
# bootlegs blossom.
#
# Winter 1978 (now here comes the guessing part):
# Warners/DiscReet/Herbiecohen, having prevailed in the Lather fight, decide
# they'd better consolidate their investment by releasing the Zappa material
# they have on hand. Someone belatedly realizes that "Punky's Whips" still
# might be a problem, production is halted and the album is resequenced
# (note "Re-1" on labels of first disc). "Original" copies are dumped on
# cutout distributors.
#
# March 1978: ZINY is finally released. Dr. Demento latches onto "Titties
# And Beer" (later rechristened by him "Beepies And Beer" ["Really? You
# have to say that?"--FZ]), giving FZ some uncharacteristically regular
# airplay. The world rolls on...
#
# But Biffy, you cry! That can't be right! The way you've reconstructed
# events, Warners' actions are inconsistent and illogical! You make it
# sound like their left hand didn't know what their right hand was doing!
# Well, yeah.
#
# * * *
# *** And now ZINY (initial release) part of a mystery
#

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# The vinyl copy I have with Punky's is K 96204 Made in the UK. It's on
# Discreet. I heard only a handful made it to US counters while slightly more
# than that made it to UK stores. My copy and the one I mentioned that's at
# PDQ in Tuscon are not cutouts.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Thanks for pointing that out! I had totally forgotten about the U.K. vs.
# U.S. issue. This begs the question: do any *U.S.* vinyl copies with
# "Punky's Whips" even exist? I now think they do not. Mother People's
# discographical scholar Zomby Woof wrote this in 1984: "Fortunately for
# record collectors, a first pressing of unedited copies were salvaged in
# England before being recalled prior to official release. In the U.S.,
# cassettes of the unedited album also reached some stores, (many were found
# years later in the cutout bins) before being recalled."
# BTW, British/European cutouts are not necessarily marked. I have, for
# example, some U.K. Island cassettes (King Crimson, Eno) salvaged from
# Wherehouse cutout bins in the late '70s; these have no drill holes or
# other markings. The same is true of vinyl, or was at the time.
#
# *** And here goes Lather/Laether/Leather side of a plot :-))

#
# From: cav...@vnet.ibm.com (Keith Shiner)
#

# >1. Were there both a BOOT and Test Pressing of this?
# Yes.
# >2. If so, can the difference be easily seen?
# Yes. The bootleg has a B&W cover with an Edison records design. AFAIK
# the test pressings have no packaging, although I understand boxes WERE
# manufactured, the cover reportedly being similar to Joe's Garage.
# >3. What is a fair market value of each (if both exist)?
# The test pressing was selling for about $500 minimum in the '80s. God
# knows what it's worth now. I'll refrain from speculating what would be a
# "fair" price for the bootleg, and only pose a question: would you feel
# that much better off paying $XX.00 for a bootleg LP set, as opposed to
# getting a tape version (no less "official" than the boot) virtually free
# via tape trading networks?
#
# From: Jeffo
# When Frank was having trouble with WB in the late 70s, he went on a radio
# show and played the tapes of his proposed, but held up release, a 4LP set
# called "Leather." He did it specifically to annoy WB, telling the
# listeners something like "Here it is, folks-free. You can't beat this
# price." Warners sued him again.
# Chunks (and small pieces) of "Lather" are scattered on albums into the
# '80s. "Zappa in New York," "Studio Tan," "Sleep Dirt," and "Orchestral
# Favorites" provide most of "Lather," but there have been a number of
# alterations and additions to the tracks intended to be on "Lather":
#
# --"Lather" has a handful of tracks that have never seen official release:
# the original studio version of "For the Young Sophisticate," and the '76
# band's renderings of "Tryin' To Grow A Chin" and "Broken Hearts Are For
# Assholes," as well as a collage called "Duck Duck Goose" and an
# instrumental called "Down in de Dew."
# --About two minutes are cut out of "Lather"'s version of "Titties &
# Beer."
# --A different performance of "Punky's Whips" appears on "Lather"; it
# seems to have almost no guitar until the scorching solo at the end.
# --"I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth" is titled "Lather" and is a
# slightly different performance, with a few extra bars of Eddie Jobson
# Moog.
# --"Flambay" is cut short and, like "Spider of Destiny," has no Thana
# Harris vocals (does anyone know when they were recorded?).
#
# Along with Warner Brothers' release of most of "Lather" in a different
# format, small portions of it (and allusions to it) have surfaced on "Sheik
# Yerbouti" (e.g. the two dialogue tracks), "Joe's Garage" (e.g. "Crew Slut"),
# "Tinsel Town Rebellion" (e.g. "Easy Meat"), "SUAPYG," and even "Thing-Fish,"
# which contains Terry Bozzio's trademark "ulp, ulp, ulp" noises.
#
# ~Date: 1976, 1977
# Loc: Various Studio and Live Recordings
# Length: ~100 min
# Catalog: Zappa srz-4-1500; unreleased
# Musicians: Various
#
# Regyptian Strut
# Naval Aviation In Art
# A Little Green Rosetta
# Duck Duck Goose (aka Ship Ahoy)
# Down In De Dew
# For The Young Sophisticate
# Tryin' To Grow A Chin
# Broken Hearts Are For Assholes
# The Illinois Enema Bandit
# Lemme Take You To The Beach
# Revised Music for Guitar and Low Budget Orchestra
# RDNZL
# Honey Don't You Want A Man Like Me
# The Black Page #1
# Big Leg Emma
# Punky's Whips
# Flambay
# The Purple Lagoon
# Pedro's Dowry
# Lather (aka I Promise Note To Come In Your Mouth)
# Spider of Destiny
# Duke of Prunes
# Filthy Habits
# Titties and Beer
# One More Time For The World
# The Adventures Greggary Peckary
#
# My copy of the 4LP set has fantastic sound quality, just a notch below
# Frank's own studio release stuff. A real gem, I'm not sure I'd sell it for
# any price, at least any price that would ever be likely offered.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# I keep trying to tell everyone (probably in vain) that the popular story
# that Warners hacked Lather into the above mentioned albums is backwards.
# Frank cobbled Lather together from ZINY, ST, SD and OF AFTER Warners
# initially refused to release them. Here's that story again:
#
# Warners refused to put out Zappa In New York the way FZ wanted (i.e., with
# "Punky's Whips"). Zappa claimed breach of contract and sued. He delivered
# masters for three further albums--Studio Tan, Hot Rats III (later retitled
# Sleep Dirt) and Orchestral Favorites--to fulfill his contract, but Warners
# also refused to issue these at the time (still 1977). Since FZ's contract
# with Warners stipulated that albums were to be released in the US within
# six weeks of delivery of masters (six months in Europe), and Warners was
# just sitting on these four albums, FZ considered himself free to shop the
# tapes to another label. ONLY THEN did he reconfigure most of the material
# from these albums (plus a few other items) into the four-LP Lather set (or
# "Laether," if you want to try to preserve that umlaut), which he tried to
# release on Halloween 1977 via Mercury/Phonogram. Warners' lawyers put a
# stop to that, but as David said, Mercury did get as far as making test
# pressings. Warners eventually put out the original albums, starting in
# March 1978 with the butchered version of Zappa In New York.
# This is how the Warners albums came to include stuff that wasn't even on
# Lather, such as "Time Is Money," "Bogus Pomp" and "Strictly Genteel."
# (Lather also contains some material that wasn't on the Warners albums, and
# one or two tracks that are on both appear in different versions.) This is
# also why Zappa In New York has a "real," Zappa-approved cover and liner
# notes, but ST, SD & OF do not--Zappa delivered only tapes of those three
# albums, no covers or liner notes, so Warners hired Gary Panter to slap
# together the packaging.

#
# From: cav...@vnet.ibm.com (Keith Shiner)

# ...and if my mind hasn't faded completely, this is also about the time that
# about ALL of Frank's LPs disappeared from the racks. About the only thing
# you could buy was ST, SD & OF. I also remember Frank saying in an interview
# I read, "Don't buy these LPs! Record copies and pass them around" or some
# such thing.
#
# From: muds...@bway.net
# I lived in Buffalo, NY, in the seventies, and had the opportunity to
# meet Frank at radio station WBUF the afternoon before his performance
# at the Buffalo Auditorium, or whatever it was called. Anyway, he
# walked into the station carrying a test pressing of Lather and played
# selections of it for about an hour. I am sure that several test
# pressings were made and had circulated among radio station personnel.
# I tend to doubt that there is one lone source for the bootleg.
# More importantly, it was really interesting watching Frank listen to
# his own music. He was clearly and visibly completely immersed in his
# music; he sat listening with his eyes closed, I could see the outline
# of his pupils sort of swimming in time through his eyelids. Watching
# Frank and listening with him was an immensely memorable experience,
# as you can imagine. He was extremely warm and approachable, and
# seemed truly appreciative of his fans. When I said to Frank that I
# had been listening to him since Freak Out!, he paused a beat, then
# replied. "my....you must have a lot of endurance!"
#
# From: tony pfarrer <to...@ums1.lan.mcgill.ca
# Early 1978 seems about right. I have a copy of of the JUNE 1978 issue of
# RECORD REVIEW MAGAZINE where they actually review Lather (or should I say,
# they review the KROQ broadcast of Lather). The initial broadcast was the
# complete 2 hours+ of Lather. Later, after a number of cards and letters.
# KROQ rebroadcast Lather one side a night. (I've got a really lo-fi version
# of the one-side a night broadcast, one of the aforementioned thousand
# blossoming bootlegs).
# One other clue: the article says that Zappa was touring Europe by the
# time they rebroadcast Lather; which means the rebroadcast could have
# occured any time after Jan 30, 1978. (My copy of the Miles book is at work,
# but I think that's a pretty accurate guess for the beginning of the '78
# tour, someone will set me straight if I'm way off).

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# With regard to "Lather," I might just mention that as of September 1977 FZ
# was touring the U.S. "in support of" that album, and had even had T-shirts
# made with its logo/title, selling them at the shows. I regret to this day
# that I did not buy one of those shirts.
#
# From: bsa...@tpd.dsccc.com (Bill Sallee)
# Hello Zappa fans,
# I am reading "Everything You Need to Know About the Music Business" by
# Donald Passman, a noted music industry lawyer. In his book he give a
# historical overview of the reasons for current clauses in modern music
# contracts concerning length of contract and number of albums to be
# delivered.
# Paraphrasing the section:
# Three entertainers are responsible for the current wording. First was
# Olivia Newton-John whose contract was written for a number of years with a
# number of albums. She stopped recording and when her five years were up,
# successfully sued to be released from her five year contract that the
# record company had extended unilaterally pending delivery.
# The wording was changed to tie length of contract to a specific number
# of albums, which worked for a while until one day, after having had no
# contact with his record company for six years, Dean Martin, whose star had
# grown much dimmer, showed up with an album and asked for the rather large
# sum of money he was entitled to under his contract which was still valid
# even though the record company had hoped he had disappeared.
# So they changed the wording again to allow the record company to
# terminate the contract if the entertainer did not deliver an album within a
# two year period from the previous album. This worked fine until one day
# Frank Zappa walked into Warner Brothers (Dean Martin's label also) with
# four albums under his arm and announced that he was completing his
# obligation and terminating the contract.
# Current wording provides for maximum and minimum periods between delivery
# of albums.

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part7

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 7 of 9 |

| |
| Maintained by Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su) |
| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

| part 7 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

STUDIO TAN
==========

Notes and Comments
ver.29-July-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics was bravely transcribed
by
patrick...@fsa.ulaval.ca (Patrick Gaumond)
and
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@flanker.techno.ru>

The Adventure Of Greggery Peccary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The adventures of GREGGERY PECCARY!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Is it kind of funny coincidence or an intentional pun on the name of famous
# Hollywood star?

Oh, here comes GREGGERY,
Little GREGGERY PECCARY
The nocturnal gregarious
Wild swine

# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# I assumed it was FZ, with the voice the result of tape-speed twiddling.
# One way to confirm this would be to play it back slower and see if it sounds
# like him... I have a deck that can do this so I can try it.
#
# From: mitch....@turner.com (Mitch Goldman)
# It's definitely FZ...play it slow and you'll hear it... plus, I thought he
# was credited with the vocals on this track on the CD liner notes...
#
# From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
# I've also always assumed it was Frank, but come to think of it, isn't
# George Duke credited for vocals? And I can't remember hearing his voice
# elsewhere on GP.
#

# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# I slowed down a tape of the song to check out the voice... it's definitely
# FZ as the nocturnal gregarious wild swine.
#
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# I always felt it was George Duke with a little tape tinkering. To me,
# Duke's phrasing is unique and unmistakable, even post-tinker.

A peccary
Is a little pig
With a white collar
That usually hangs around
Between Texas and Paraguay
Sometimes ranging as far
west as Catalina
^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# And island just off the coast of California near Los Angeles.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Santa Catalina is an island off the coast of California, near Long Beach.
#
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Catalina is an island off the coast of Southern California. It's a big
# tourist attraction, and there's these big glass-bottom boats that take
# you out there.

This particular peccary
Is part of that bold (bold),
New (new) breed (breeding)
That extinguishes itself
By markings which resemble a
WIDE TIE
^^^^^^^^
Directly below the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
White collar
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Peccarys (Javelinas in Spanish) have a white collar of hair around their
# necks. In 1972, the fashion was wearing wide ties. Greggery is hip...
# so he wears a wide tie.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# White collar is American slang for rich folks. I would imagine it refers
# to a generic business suit, with tie and white shirt, consequently a white
# collar. The lower class is called "blue collar", referring to denims, I
# imagine, because of the manual labor.

Every morning, GREGGERY drives
His little red Volkswagen to the ugly
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# They were cheap and they were everywhere. All the hippies started growing
# up and needed cars...so they got the cheapest and most economical on gas...
# there was a gasoline crisis in the early 70's don't forget.

Voodn, Voodn!
Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!
GREGGERY PECCARY takes the elevator
Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
Gray, evil-looking building
With a sign on the front reading:
'BIG SWIFTY ASSOCIATES. TREND-MONGERS'.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# OK, it is a name of beautiful piece from Waka/Yawaka. But may be there are
# also some meaning behind it?
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Frank often said that there are little links in all the songs for nothing
# more than the purpose of "unifying the collection." This and the future
# references to Billy The Mountain, Ethel, and The Short Forest are probably
# just used as names, because the audience might identify more with such a
# long, non-repetitive piece better if they have these little links to help
# them along through 20 minutes of this type of music.
#
# From: David G. Walley <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# Could be a play on words and dealing with Irving "Swifty" Lazar, a famous
# Hollywood agent.

And so it was, one fateful morning,
GREGGERY PECCARY made his way through the Steno Pool . . .
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A Steno Pool refers to a Stenographer Pool and is a feature-ette of many
# large corporations. Many times these large corporations place all the
# stenographers in a central location (in THE BIG UGLY CORPORATE BUILDING) so
# that documents requiring editing or dictated documents requiring
# transcription can be processed by stenographers in one central location (as
# in "Hey, send this prospectus on down to the steno pool."). The main
# stereotyped image of a Steno Pool consists of: a bunch of air-head females
# who, since they are air-head females, are not particularly suited to
# anything but stenography and (probably) fellatio.

All the girls in the BIG SWIFTY
Steno Pool
KNEW . . .
Here was a
Nocturnal,
Gregarious
Wild swine
ON HIS WAY UP!
A Peccary of Destiny,
Adventure
And
ROMANCE!

# Any CC connection here with _Sleep Dirt_ Spider of Destiny or _Bongo's
# Advance Romance?
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# I wouldn't think so. American culture bombards you with the idea that
# fucking is the ultimate to aspire to, romance leading to the actual fucking.
# No mention is ever made of the nice stuff that comes once you find a partner
# for life, i.e. the rewards of the relationship. I take this as a rather
# tame way of saying that all the girls in the steno pool just simply want to
# "romance", i.e. court, Greggary Peccary because being on his way up, he'll
# eventually be a rich man. Then they'll be able to break into SOCIETY.

SWIFTY'S!
THIS IS BIG SWIFTY'S!
AT BIG SWIFTY'S WE ALL KNOW-OW-OW
YOU'LL GO
FOR ANY GIMMICK OR GIZMO!
^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Gizmo is just another word for gadget; just a random object used in
# performing some trivial task (such as a calendar).
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# No. [ It's not jism] Not everything in Frank's stuff is sexually explicit,
# and that misconception is probably a large part of why he doesn't get played
# on commercial radio in the states. A gizmo is nothing more than something
# you don't know the name for, like a whatchamacallit, thingumybob, or a
# what'sit.

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE INVOLVED
IN A SERIES OF COLORFUL
TIME-WASTINC TRENDS?

AIR HOCKEYs . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Maybe it's a U.S. thing, or maybe just a California thing, I don't know.
# Air hockey is a game played usually in arcades. It's the size and shape of
# a billiard table, but instead of green felt, there's a white, smooth surface
# with holes punched all over it. Tiny airjets blow through those holes. Two
# people play, standing at opposite ends of the table, and on the table at
# each end something like a pocket or a slot. There's a plastic puck that
# glides over the table's surface (hovering smoothly over the airjets) and
# gets batted around by the opponents wielding these things that look like
# plastic bagels with handles sticking out of the middle. With those paddles,
# the opponents try to knock the puck into each other's slot. Much like
# hockey. The puck action is pretty smooth, so a good game can get pretty
# frantic with this mini-guillotine frantically zipping all over the table.
# Trust me... much fun.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# This is a really fond memory of mine in American culture. You can still
# find air hockey tables around, but it takes some searching. An air hockey
# table has little holes in the surface that air shoots out of, making the
# puck airborne. You have a gizmo to hit the puck with. It's this little
# plastic dome with a plate on the bottom, the plate having a rim around it.
# Your hand fits between the rim and the dome. On the table there is a little
# slit for a goal. You have to try to get the puck in the goal (obviously).
# First to reach specified number of goals wins.

Does it matter that this waste of time
Is what makes a LIFE for you? Hmmmmm?

I must plummet boldly
forward
To my ULTRA-AVANT
Laminated,
Simulated
Replica-mahogany desk,
With the strategically-placed,
Imported, very hip water pipe,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Well, last I knew, "water pipe" is a polite way to refer to a "bong", which
# is something used to smoke copious amounts of marijuana.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# It's also called a bong or a hookah. There's water in the pipe to cool the
# smoke from the stuff you're smoking so that it doesn't burn the fuck out of
# your throat while it's on its way to your lungs.

And with that.
GREGGARY turned
And strode nonchalantly
Into his dinky little office
With the desk and the catalog
And the very hip water pipe.
And proceeded,
With a vigor and determination
Known only to piglets
Of a similarly diminutive
proportion,
To single-handedly invent
THE CALENDAR!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# I wonder if there's supposed to be some kind of pun here between Greggary
# and "Gregorian" calendar??
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Well, Greggary has to invent something that's already invented, and take
# credit for it. That's the nature of American culture, to distill everything
# and then charge fuckloads for it.

Because NOW. AT LAST,
CRECGERY PECCARY's exciting new

invention
Had made it possible
For everyone
To find out
HOW OLD THEY WERE!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Now, I don't know if this is strictly a U.S. fascination, but here there
# is a tremendous superficial concern over aging (particularly here in
# California, where FZ spent most of his time). Everybody wants to stay young
# and beautiful, and the commercialization of products and services intended
# to aid this process has gotten totally out of hand, and in my opinion, the
# whole thing is an embarrassment to our society. Zappa's attacking our
# obsession with age.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# The hip young people are PLASTIC, remeber? They follow colourful
# time-wasting trends, and spend money looking GOOD and YOUNG. They are
# slowly ageing and the calendar reminds them that they are getting OLDER.
# When you get OLD, you aren't young and HIP anymore. And plastic people only
# care about outer appearences. Therefore they want to LYNCH Greggery for
# inventing the CALENDAR. (Hope I didn't spoil the storyline for anyone)
#

What hath GOD wrought?

# From: dave...@aol.com (DaveWPKN)
# First complete telegraph message sent over newly constructed line by
# Samuel F.B. Morse from Washington DC to Baltimore (!) on May 24, 1844.

Unfortunately,
There were some people
Who simply DID NOT WISH TO
KNOW,
And that's why,
On his way home from the office
one night,
GREGGERY was attacked
By a RAGE OF HUNCHMEN!
^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# The hunchmen are the hip young people. A hunchman is someone who is usually
# hired for money to carry out shady tasks.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# That's a henchman, with an E. FZ's term also suggests hunch (a premonition
# or suspicion) and hunchback (like Quasimodo).
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Probably it refers to organized crime (gangsters) wherein the competition
# (unspecified company) has hired henchmen (this is the real word) to kill
# Greggary Peccary so he can't sell his calendar and they can steal the idea
# and make the money. I imagine it has the "hunch" corruption to link it to
# Hunchentoot which was written about the same time.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# ...the brief bit about "the rage of Hunchmen", where Frank describes them
# as "showing evidence of hostile intention", followed by the Elmore James
# lick from Dust My Broom. I may have the verbal quote wrong, but the musical
# quote always makes me chuckle.

Making his way through the
evening traffic, GREGGERY notices
that the other vehicles which
crowd and bump his little red car
are all inhabited by slowly-aging
'VERY HIP YOUNG PEOPLE',

# From: alxs...@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Alex Slotkin)
# Anyways, I was listening to "The Adventures of Greggery Peccary" off of
# _Studio Tan_ the other day with one of my friends for the 20th time (no
# small feat), when I heard it! I made him rewind it a little bit, and lo
# and behold, there it was! When Frank is talking about Greggery driving
# home from work in his little red Volkswagen, and right after he mentions
# that all of the cars that are bumping him are driven by a bunch of "slowly
# aging, very hip young people...." you can hear a couple measures of
# Herbie Hancock & the Headhunters' classic jazz-funk tune, "Chameleon"!
#
# From: epco...@umich.edu (Pheezy)
# I have always thought the significance was that the young 'n' hip yuppies
# would be interested in this music, and Frank was most definitely pokin fun
# (he does that once in a while) at this fact.
#
# From: k...@claris.com (Ken Walter)
# Zappa is making fun of the the "slowly aging, very hip young people," who
# are trying to show how hip they are by listening to fusion music. At least
# that's how I hear it.

To elude them, GREGGERY takes the
SHORT FOREST EXIT off the express-
^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# _Overnite Sensation_. Camarillo Brillo
#
# She ruled the Toads
# Of the Short Forest
#
# and also instrumental piece from _Weasels_ Toad Of The Short Forest
# Where is it? I really want to know.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I don't know if there really is one. I always thought Frank was referring
# to pubic hair. Toads of the short forest would be inhabitants of the pubic
# hair (yum!). I think this is just a CCC in Greggery Peccary.

GREGGERY takes a bumpy trail
off the main SHORT FOREST ROAD,
which leads him up the side
of a FAMOUS (and convenientlv
placed) MOUNTAIN, and into a strange
^^^^^^^^^
cave on the edge of a cliff, not far
from a LITTLE TWISTED TREE. . .with
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
eyes on it.

#CC
# Billy The Mountain and his wife Ethel The Tree.
# See _Just Another Band From L.A. N&C.

Meanwhile, the enraged HUNCHMEN
(and HUNCH-'WOMEN) rumble
through the SHORT FOREST until
(realizing the little swine has
escaped, they decide to park their
steaming vehicles in a circular
pseudo wagon-train formation. . .
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# The wagons formed a circle for defense against hostile Indians.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Yes and no. A wagon-train formation points the back of each wagon train,
# which is open to the elements, towards the campfire, so that the people in
# the wagon train can sleep with warmth. It gets cold in the desert at night,
# especially the further north you get.

and have a LOVE-IN!
^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# A love-in doesn't necessarily involve sex, though it might. Usually it just
# refers to a gathering by hippie types and others to indulge in cosmic vibes!!

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Yes...but it specifically refers to a Flower Power groovy orgy and didn't
# necessarily have to involve sex, but often did. People today don't have
# love-ins anymore. Tupperware parties maybe....

Under the influence of a fantastic
amount of TRENDY CHEMICAL AMUSEMENT
AID, they proceed to perform lewd
acts, rip each other off for small
personal possessions, and dance
with depraved abandon in the vicinity
of a six-foot pile of transistor radios
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
each one tuned to a different station).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This is an oblique reference to the music of recently-deceased avant-garde
# composer John Cage. One of his works was for 6 radios each tuned to a
# different station.

GRECGERY doesn't realize
He has concealed himself
Inside the very mouth of
BILLY THE MOUNTAIN!

#CC
# See _Just Another Band From L.A. N&C.

HO! HO! HO!

And, as you all know,
Whenever BILLY laughs,
Rocks and boulders hack up,
And the air for miles around
Is filled with tons of dust,
Forming a series of huge
BROWN CLOUDS!

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?
HO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
BETTER ASK A PHILOSTOPHER 'N SEE WHAT HE SAYS!
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I think the philostopher is just some guy who gives you a bunch of non-sense
# answers about life to part you with your money. Today were have phone-in
# psychics!
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# It's a corruption of the word "philosopher." This is another thing that's
# a bit too elaborate to explain here, but Americans have a fine tradition of
# paying certain people (television evangelists, psychologists, etc.) huge
# sums of money to tell them things that their own common sense would tell
# them. Fuck knows why.

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# While I don't know of any textual CCC clues in this passage (aside from
# the obvious Billy The Mountain Connection), the music which accompanies
# this bit is a direct quotation from "The Grand Wazoo" occurring 3:16 into
# "For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)".

BY THE CHINESE POLICE
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# No. [ Have they such sqaud in LA? ] It's forbidden (unwritten) to break
# things down by country of origin, except to describe food. You can have
# Chinese food, but you're a bigot if you refer to that group of people as
# Chinese.

And, furthermore, this information
could be HIS,
If only GREGGERY would attend a
'SPECIAL THERAPEUTIC GROUP
ASSEMBLY'
(Classes now forming),
And available at a special
low introductory fee. . .

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Yes. That's their fee. They tease you that they have the information
# first, you pay, they talk until they reach a point where they have something
# else to deliver, and then they withhold that until you pay again. This way
# you pay and pay and pay. It's unbelievable how many people get suckered
# into this.

And now, here he is,
'The Greatest Living PHILOSTO-
PHER Known to Mankind',
QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# The name reminds me of Billy James Hargis. This was one of those TV
# evangelists who had a huge church in Oklahoma, and he went about seducing
# members of his church, male and female. Some couple he married divulged
# to each other on their wedding night that they'd both fucked him, and
# that's how he got exposed. He managed to cover it up and I think he's
# still going at it, but not on the level of Swaggert or Pat Robertson.
# This stuff all happened about 1975, and it's amazing he managed to blow
# it over (no pun intended) considering that bisexuality was still looked
# on as some sort of perversion.

"Folks,
As you can see for yourself.
The way this clock over here
is behaving,
TIME IS OF AFFLICTION!
Now this might be cause for alarm
Among a portion of you, as,
From a certain experience,
I TEND TO PROCLAIM:
'THE EONS ARE CLOSING'!"

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# I would appreciate further info on whether this is an actual person or
# perhaps a twisted version of the name of some noteworthy person (or
# neither). The overall quotation ties in with another bit from the liner
# notes on "Sleep Dirt":
#
# "The Eons are closing...200 years ago (September 25, 1791) exactly
# 12 amendments to the Constitution of the United States were referred to
# the states for ratification. 10 were approved by December 15, 1791,
# and of course we here from a certain experience have come to know them as
# the Bill of Rights."

Make your checks payable to

'QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND,
Greatest Livin Philostopher
Known to Mankind'!

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
IF YOU ASK A PILOSTOPHER, HE'LL SEE
THAT YOU PAYS!

Lemme Take You To The Beach

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can I kiss you,
Maybe I'll just hold your handy.
Lemme take you to the beach again,
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Lemme take you to the beach again,
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Have a freak out!
Later we'll peak out
^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# "Peak Out" might mean to have fun. We used to call restriction "grounding",
# as in "You're grounded!" "Aw, Dad!" Later of course, we'd sneak out.

You're on restriction,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So you'll probably sneak out!

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# "You're on restriction" refers to a common punishment
# tactic practised by bewildered parents trying to come to grips with the
# rebellious nature of their teenage offspring. If you break "the rules",
# you run the risk of being "put on restriction", which has many meanings.
# Some of these are probably:
# 1. You can't go out at night to hang out with your friends and do "fun
# stuff".
# 2. You can't watch TV.
# 3. You can't <fill in the blank with the "fun thing" you like to do>.
# A time-honored tradition among teenagers who have been "put on restriction"
# is to defy the parental authority figures and sneak out of the house in
# order to surreptitiously enjoy "the joys of youth".

RDNZL
~~~~~

# From: ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)

# My guess at this is: Ruth Doesn't Need Zappa's Lyrics.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I agree with this. This studio version of RDNZL was recorded after the tour
# in 1974 that put RDNZL on "Roxy & Elsewhere" and "Helsinki". I think that
# RDNZL was a track that was recorded during the "One Size Fits All" session
# (in 1975 after the the band learned how to play the songs REALLY good on
# tour in 1974 -- check out how much faster "Helsinki" is than "Roxy" since
# it's later in the tour -- Ruth can't even keep up on the "Helsinki" version
# of Montana!) but never made it on the record. At the end of Inca Roads,
# they say "On Ruth, that's Ruth!". I guess if RDNZL was played right after
# Inca Roads, or if Ruth was showcased during the tour on Inca Roads and
# RDNZL, it might back this up.
#
# From: <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
# That's a good one! When I first saw the title on Studio Tan as "Redunzl",
# I always assumed that it was a pun on Rapunzel ("the chick with the long
# hair," as Peter Wolf - the J. Geils frontman, not the ex-FZ keyboardist -
# once put it). For some reason, that interpretation has stuck with me.
#
# From: Mark Kemper <7230...@CompuServe.COM>
# RNDZL = Your automatic gear shift. Reverse, Neutral, Drive, 2, 1

#
# From: ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)

# Oh yeah, (sorry to post twice) the song's name is RDNZL, not RNDZL.
# I've never seen a car that had the gears in RDN21 order.
#
# From: hac...@python.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
# Heh, whenever I see that song title, I always think: "Ruth, Napolean, Duke,
# Zappa..." Dunno what the L could be, though. :)

#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Martyn Dryden")

# I recall an FZ explanation based on the idea that if the Z were a 2 then it
# would be like the legend on a car's automatic transmission control, ie
# Reverse, Drive, Neutral, 2, Low. Who would guess it could inspire a song?
# No-one would guess. Sorry to say I've no documentation of that, though.

#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>

# I believe all (certainly most) automatics have neutral between reverse and
# drive (RNDZL vs. RDNZL). Hmmmmm .... maybe this is the real reason Frank s
# topped driving.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# I've seen this theory before, but I don't think it holds water. Possibly
# they do things differently on British cars, but I can't recall ever seeing
# a car where Drive came before Neutral! Also, FWIW, remember that the
# first release of "RDNZL" (on the Studio Tan LP) had the track spelled
# "Redunzl," although all subsequent releases, including the Studio Tan CD,
# use the shorter spelling. I realize that FZ was not involved in the
# Studio Tan packaging, so the original spelling could have been a
# miscommunication. (Zappa pronounced the word to rhyme with "Rapunzel."
# Anyone who watched Green Acres in the '60s knows that the technical name
# for the PRNDl gearshift is pronounced "pernundle.")
# But what do I know; I don't even drive...but then neither did FZ...
#
# From: nor...@io.com (This Space for Rent)
# The gear setup of automatic transmissions on older cars was:
# PRNDL
# On a 3-speed automatic:
# PRND2L
# There is no transmission I know of what would put "Drive" on one side of
# Neutral, and the lower gears on the other side. Looks like that burst
# that bubble
#
# From: LHS...@prodigy.com (Michael Dec)
# Well, this is just my guess, but I always thought if you pronounce RDNZL
# it comes out "Redunzel" which is a combination word-play: Repunzal,
# redundent, repugnant. Frank just seemed to like the sound of some words.
#
# From: rmec...@interport.net (Ron Meckler)
# Gail once had a white Rolls Royce with RDNZL license plate.

JOE'S GARAGE
============

Notes and Comments
ver.03-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...it is my responsibility to enforce
all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility
to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various
ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually
lead to *The Death Penalty* (or affect your parents' credit rating). Our
criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong
things...and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force
called MUSIC!

#CC
# This is one of the Frank's most favorite idea he toyed so much.
# One of the earliest known speculation on and demonstartion of the criminal
# nature of music can be found in great FZ classic movie _200 Motels_.
# There was erected and shown for the world the special government
# institution - The Reorientational Facility (erected at great expance
# to bring about the final solution to the orchestra question), in other
# words to give the guys like Joe a chance in the life
# So check the MOVIE! and _Strictly Genteel_ part of 200 Motels N&C

I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if
you choose a career in MUSIC...*The WHITE ZONE is for loading and
unloading only...if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE...

# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# ...its the perpetual PA announcement made at curbside at Los Angeles
# Airport (LAZ). You have to use the white curb for discharging and picking
# up passengers.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Also imagine how many times Frank would have heard this over the years as
# he came home from touring. Talk about conceptual continuity.

#
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Check out the movie "Airplane" (by Zucker-Zucker-Abraham, with Leslie
# Nielsen). You'll also hear this announcement, only the two announcers start
# argueing over the PA, whether the white zone or the red zone is for
# loading & unloading only. It's deadfunny.

#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)

# I think it's just another example of hapless citizens being herded like
# sheep and forced into compliance with the Doctrine of Portion Controlled
# Servings (plus, I think in the context of the JG story, it gives the
# Central Scrutinizer an ostensible reason for hanging around to keep an eye
# on things).
#
# From: mar...@aol.com (MarkJX)
# The white zone and its omnipresent auditory reminder is a metaphor for
# conformity and "following the rules" (after all, let's get serious. Who
# uses the white zone JUST for loading and unloading? Don't you actually
# SIT there for an hour or two waiting for your loved ones' late plane?).
# Joe was (according to TCS) pretty fucked up. Is it possible that
# society's ever present pressure for conformance ate away at our
# preposterous protagonist until he finally goes over the edge and "hocks
# his imaginary guitar" and gets a GOOD JOB!
#

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# Well, go over to John Wayne Airport sometime and you'll have to agree,
# it's a way of life!
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Frank and band had to have spent a lot of time in airports. it could have
# been something to associate being in the band. there are a lot of loading
# zones in busy downtown areas of large cities as well. there was a band
# in san francisco called 'the loading zone', so it is a well-known image.

Joe's Garage
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
And a cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said "Fender Champ"
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# this is an early fender amplifier much revered by anyone who started
# playing guitar in that time period (50's - 60's). it is a small little amp,
# i think first sold as a starter amp, now they are considered vintage,
# although i think they have been reissued.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Fender is the famous electric guitar company that produces such models as
# the Telecaster and Stratocaster. They also make amplifiers, and the "Champ"
# is (was) one of their models.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# ... it was a small, mobile amp that Fender put out years ago. Kind of
# the pignose of the early 60's.

#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# Sure was - it was their entry level amp, just big enough to enclose
# the 10 or 12 inch speaker it held. I think it might have had a tremelo
# effect on it, but definitely no reverb. Looked liked a standard Fender
# amp with the plate for controls and input, and then that patented
# Fender grillcloth over the front.

And a second hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The wammy or "twang" bar is a movable handle that raises the bridge and
# puts a springlike tension on the strings. A simple and inexpensive effect
# still in use today.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# the tremolo bar, not invented, but perhaps improved by leo fender so
# that dick dale and other surf guitarists found it usable to such an
# extent that it became part of the genre. now called a whammy bar,
# heavy metal players use it mainly to 'dive-bomb'. the stratocaster
# (strat) was invented by leo fender.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# A vibrato bar. For other uses, see "Church Chat" on YCDTOSA Volume 4.
#
# Here is it, Charles
# "FZ: ...sometimes people say
# That if you fuck somebody, it's a sin.
# This may or may not be true.
# This boy not only fuck somebody with his organ,
# But he also fuck the girl with the guitar
# With an umbrella, with a zucchini, with a shoe
# With an enema bag
# (What else you do?
# Vai: A vibrato bar)
# FZ: A vibrato bar
# And some people say this is a sin"

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# A whammy bar is also known as a vibrato bar. It tightens or loosens the
# strings all together, giving you a slight dip or rise in pitch without
# using the tuning keys. When the bar is grasped and yanked repeatedly, it
# gives you a vibrato sound. For that it's primarily used by the
# techically-impaired, since such bluesmen as B.B. King have demonstrated that
# you can get just as good or better effects using the fretting hand only.
# Whammy bars are mainly used nowadays for showy special effects, a la Jimmy
# Page or Eddie Van Halen. (Or Steve Vai.)

At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a
respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O) joins in the song...
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# This is a joke about the rock group Toto (pronounced the same as Toad-O).
# Toads are similar to frogs and in western culture are considered slightly
# repulsive. Someone who is toad-like could be either repulsive or diminutive.
#
# See comments to the song number 6 _On The Bus_

Larry:
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
^^^^ ^^^
# It's common knowledge that all his life FZ (being incurable nicotine addict
# himself and despite enormous popularity in psychedelic oriented circles :-)
# strongly voiced against drug usage. Yes, but may be it's interesting to know
# that his earliest public anti-drug statements dated October, 1966. Here is a
# quote (as given by D.G.Walley in his NCP book p.65) from LA Free Press.
#
# WE [MOI], AS A GROUP, DO NOT RECOMMEND...
# VERILY, _WE REPUDIATE_ ANY _ANIMAL/MINERAL
# /VEGETABLE/SYNTHETIC SUBSTANCE, VEHICLE and/or
# PROCEDURE WHICH MIGHT TEND TO REDUCE THE _BODY,
# MIND OR SPIRIT_ OF ANY INDIVIDUAL (any true
# individual) TO A STATE OF _SUB-AWARNESS_ OR
# INSENSITIVITY ... that is to say
#
# WE ARE HERE TO _TURN YOU LOOSE
# NOT TURN YOU ON_
#

So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N' we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits 'N' Beatle Boots
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# See comments on _Carolina Hard Core Ecstasy_ in Bongo Fury N&C

'N' a sign on the back of the car
'N' we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
^^^^^^^^
# Is there any basic difference between Go-Go and A-Go-Go trend ?-)

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Nope. "A-Go-Go" tends to be found more in the _names_ of go-go
# establishments, meaning "you will find it here." Something like "a la
# carte."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# To a degree, yes. A Go-Go bar had women dancing up on pedestals, or even
# in cages. "A-go-go" derived from the same phenomenon, but became a catch
# all marketing term for "modern and cool"
#
# See also comments to _Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance_ in WOIFTM N&C.

Officer Butzis:
^^^^^^^
This is the Police
Give yourself up
We have the garage surrounded

# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# Butzis (? a pun on "Butt Zits") was, I believe, the nickname of Al Malkin
# (who emits the last "Zetta" on Joe's Garage. According to Ben Watson, Zappa
# had tapes and tapes of Malkin in a variety of sordid situations, which he
# was thinking of editing into another project. He's also referred to in the
# long version of "Yellow Snow" on YCDTOSA vol. 1, and "Mudd Club" on YAWYI.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Album: Tinsel Town Rebellion
# Track: Peaches III
#
# Let's hear it for another great Italian, Alvin Lee, ladies and
# gentlemen... Vinnie, Butzis, Vinnie's girlfriend, Butzis' girlfriend,
# Patty, Denny, uh, Marty...
#
# Album: You Are What You Is
# Track: Mudd Club
#
# MUDD CLUB
# Al Malkin's down there now
# Looking for a virgin with nice breath...
#

Mrs. Borg:
Everday this goes on around here!

Officer Butzis:
We will not harm you, or maim you
*(SWAT Team 4, move in!)*
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it stands for Special Weapons And Tactical team. SWAT teams are
# special police units used to control terrorism, hostage situations, or
# some other crazy problem that large cities are bound to have. Like poor
# public transportation. ;^)

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Special Weapons and Tactics. An elite squad for use in the most dangerous
# situations. Its use here is deliberate overkill.
#
# From: Dave Lane <dal...@bbn.com>
# S.W.A.T. is an acronym for Special Weapons and Tactics, a name given to a
# special heavily-armed unit of big-city police forces.
# I first heard the term used in the TV series "Adam-12" in the late 60's
# or early 70's. *(Conceptual Continuity Clue: Ike's "1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
# see the NIGNINT" and/or "1-Adam-12, see the pecker", I forget which songs
# (Tinseltown?) On that show, the police dispatcher would always radio
# officers Reed & Malloy with "1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, see the man, 211 in
# progress, etc...".)*
# Also, there was a US TV show in the 70's called S.W.A.T.

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut...and told him to
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A do-nut (dough-nut) is a pastry that is shaped like a hockey puck but
# with the centre missing (tastes about the same too). They are sweet and
# fattening. The point here is that the counselor is basically ineffective
# and the best they can do is to offer Joe a confection.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# A common police officer snack.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# In u.s. donuts and coffee are always part of friendly counseling.
# it's so predictable it's funny.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# ... often eaten by dunking in coffee.
#
# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# ... and also being impailed on a KKK pointy hat in the video for "You Are
# What You Is".

Catholic Girls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A festive CYO Party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom
^^^
#:-)) From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Is it just stand for Catholic Youth Organisation?

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# As far as I know.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think so, yes.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# I believe so.

dance, the *"Hokey Pokey,"* baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# The hokey-pokey is a stupid dance from the 1950's. It is fun for kids
# and doesn't allow body contact, so it is "safe" for the kids to do as
# they will not be touching each other.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# A dance for young children, arranged in a circle. As I recall, the words
# go: "You put your right foot in/You take your right foot out/You put your
# right foot in/And you shake it all about/You do the hokey pokey and you
# turn yourself about/That's what it's all about." Repeat, substituting other
# body parts. I remember hearing some Los Angeles new wave band performing a
# disco version, circa 1980, with "groove thang" and "booty".

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It's a dance. A dance for really young children. This is a statement of
# how repressed these catholic organization are if they are holding a "dance"
# and having TEENAGERS do the "hokey pokey".

Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take *The Vow*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I'm not sure what vow is being referred to, but it definitely means a vow
# in the Catholic Church. It could be a vow of celibacy, similar to what
# Catholic Nuns take.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Of course! they take them when they become nuns.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# The "vow" is the vow of chastity that nuns take when they enter the
# convent. In this context the chorus is wondering where all the fuckable
# Catholic girls are - there don't seem to be any at the dances. Not every
# Catholic girl is expected or even encouraged to take the vow - there would
# be no Catholic children if they did.

Warren:
Carmenita Scarfone!

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it's just the name of one of the Catholic Girls. The name is
# definitely Italian, and a lot of Catholics are Italian, and I have known
# quite a few Italian Catholic Girls. Frank isn't making this up here,
# this stereotype is very common.

Warren:
*Toni Carbone!*

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# There are several names that become feminine when the letter y is changed
# to i. Tony to Toni, Terry to Terri, there are others.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Toni, short of Antonia - common Italian girl's nickname. If it were male,
# it would be spelled Tony, short for Anthony.

Joe:
*VD vowdy vootie*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# VD stands for venerial disease (it can be any sexually transmitted disease).
# It is pronounced vee-dee. Vee-dee vowdy-voodie just sounds kinda neat.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Yes, but probably a pun as well on the television show howdy doody.
#
# From: Biffyshrew (biffy...@aol.com) wrote:
# The word "vootie" was a catch phrase of some old (Cotton Club-era?) jazz
# guy who currently smells funny, but shamefully I can't remember who.
# Someone in the vein of Cab Calloway. Anyone else know who I mean?
#

# From: boil...@aol.com (Boil That)

# Slim Gaillard (spelling?). Andy Partridge alerted me to his existence. I
# don't own any of Slim's work yet but Andy's description of him was
# hysterical - a definite subject for further research.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Mike K.: yes, Slim Gaillard was the "vootie" guy! Thank you. I'll dance
# a slim galliard in your honor. "Cee-ment mixer, put-ti put-ti..."
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (David Lynch)
# Now that you mention it, I recall reading a Mad Magazine parody of Dave
# Garroway's show, in which the word "vootie" occured quite often.
#
# From: Paul Barnard <pa...@pbmarket.demon.co.uk>
# I met Slim Gaillard (sp ?) in about 1982 when he played a gig at Bristol
# University England. He was at that time a very nice old man (is he still
# alive ?) and certainly kept us entertained with what can only be described
# as funny pot stories. He was appointed an undergraduate 'minder' to look
# after him before and after the gig, and he spent most of the evening trying
# (succesfully) to get this pretty young girl to sit on his lap and wriggle !

Central Scrutinizer:
But one night at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
^^^^^^^^^^
In order to get a pass

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Most cities have an armory which is a large building owned by the army
# (or armed forces) where weapons and soldiers can be moved to in times of
# war or crisis. Usually the place is empty except for "army cadets" (kids
# who are pretend-soldiers, the ones who don't join the CYO ;^), so this
# big hall is a good place to hold a dance or rock concert.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Seems that in a small town it's as likely a place as any to hold a fairly
# large concerts. School gymnasiums are also often used.

Crew Slut
~~~~~~~~~

kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus, hoping
to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on the
^^^^^^^^^
jolly lads who set up the P.A. System.

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Hoover is a company that makes vacuum cleaners. To hoover means to suck.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# obviously the vacuum cleaner, but lately a new pun has possibilites as
# rumors gain credence that f.b.i. director hoover was homosexual.
# ( i shouldn't have used the word obviously, hoover has become another word
# for vacuum cleaner here in the u.s., it's like second nature to use it
# even if the v.c. is another brand.)
#
# See also comments to #9 _Scrutinizer Postlude__

Larry:
CREW SLUT
*Add water makes its own sauce*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Be a CREW SLUT
*So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# The "add water" is from commercials for the dog food Gravy Train. It's a
# dry food and if you add water it turns into a brown muck that dogs seem to
# like.
# "Call before midnight tonight" is a commonly-heard statement in
# commercials for stuff that is usually sold-only-on-cable-TV, like the
# Pocket Fisherman. Back in the 60s and 70s you'd probably only hear it late
# at night or early in the morning. It never meant anything - they'd run the
# same commercial for 6 months and it was still saying "Call before midnight
# tonight to get our free bonus!" Just a sucker scam.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yes. Add water, makes it's own sauce was from a DOG FOOD commercial. The
# Dry Food is pretty unappetizing, but by adding water, it becomes a gourmet
# taste treat for phydeaux.
# If you listen carefully to the intro to the song "Joe's Garage", you can
# hear one of them say "Makes It's Own Sauce, Take Eight"

So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i think this is an old term for the sound man. rather than what we know
# as sound boards now, then was known as the mixer.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# The sound man who plays with all the knobs that adjust the relative volume
# of the different instruments. In 1988 it was Harry Andronis (cf. the
# version of this song on YCDTOSA, Volume 6).
# The technical term for face-riding is cunnilingus.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

#CC Lonesome Cowboy Burt, Ride My Face to Chicago
# A very common expression for cunnilingus
# Monty Python: Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me
#
# Mark & Howard: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT
# Don'tcha get his feelin' hurt
#
# Jimmy: Come on this place
# An'I'll buy you taste,
# N'you can sit on my face,
# Where's my waitress?

Be a CREW SLUT
*Just follow the magic footprints*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Be a CREW SLUT
*It's a way of life*
*I ain't gonna squash it*
*And you don't need to wash it!*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I don't know what the "footprints" is referring to. Maybe he's just
# showing her where to go. "You don't need to wash it" refers to the
# crew's need for pussy. They want to get laid so bad, they don't care how
# dirty the pussy is. If the girls are dirty, they may have VD, but the
# crew doesn't seem to care. Until it starts to hurt when they pee.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# I have another picture before my eyes. Follow the magic footprints is
# a mockery on some superstar story of success. Just follow her magic
# footprints and you'll become another blow job master. And about washin'
# Wasn't it prick you shouldn't supposed to wash beautiful secretions aroma
# from?-)))

Mary:
Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Larry:
*That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather...*
^^^^^^^^^^^

Mary:
*And rubber...*
^^^^^^^
Larry:
*Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*With a hair dryer...*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Maybe not S&M, but just strange toys during sex. Rubber shrink tubing is
# used in chemistry labs and hospitals. When it is heated (with something
# like a hair dryer), it shrinks. I'm trying to think if Mary would be
# wearing the tubing when they shrink it, or if she is just tied up with it.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# when setting up a sound system there are many cables. for safety and
# to easily trouble shoot cables, are grouped using shrink-tubing.
# shrink tubing can be shrunk using a hair dryer although there are
# commerical grade heat guns that look like hair dryers, and so
# carry the name.

Road Crew Chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench

# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# Sportsmen not participating in a match (waiting for substitution) are
# "on the bench". I don't know if you can construe "spot on the bench" as
# referring to a "wet patch" as well as just position. A wrench is a "tool"
# as well as a "violent twist" or "sudden dislocation" which all fit with the
# Crew Slut theme (jeez, I'm starting to sound like Ben Watson).
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i always think of Mr. Goodwrench, the general motors marketing plan to
# bring more business to their shops.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# It's another reference that if she screwa a crew member, she gets to know
# the band up close. I think "trading her spot on the bench" refers to
# giving up her seat in the audience in order to get more personal.

Larry:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You'll love it...

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)

# The Telefunken U-47 is an old tube condenser microphone that looks
# something like a Neumann U-87 condenser, or a Neumann U-67 tube condenser.
# I wouldn't say they are phallic looking, but they are large and "tubular".
# Great sounding mikes by the way. (And very expensive.)
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# OK let's clear this up... The U-47 is a phallus-shaped microphone.
# The leather has NOTHING to do with the microphone or with a phallus.
# Mary (the girl who was stuck to the seat on Phydeaux 3) is into leather.
# So the present from the boys in the band is a penis-like object and Mary
# is asking if she can get some leather (clothing? bondage?) at the same
# time that she is getting the present.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# The U47 by Telefunken is a VERY expensive relic from the days of vacuum
# tube amplification systems and anyone fortunate enough to own one MIGHT let
# you look at it (from a distance) for a price. Actually touching one is out
# of the question. Every one I have seen has been hand carried and kept under
# lock and key. They are a condenser microphone with a vacuum tube preamp and
# have what is subjectively called a "warm sound" compared to modern devices.
# The U47 is invaluable when recording a no-talent puke with a "fingernails on
# a chalkboard" type voice, as it can almost make them sound human. It can
# make a talented performer sound superhuman and a quality instrument sound
# like angels singing.
# Several decades ago, Telefunken was bought out by, or changed their name
# to, Neuman (pronounced Noy_man) and released the U87, a modern version with
# squarish edges and a solid state preamp. They are expensive but very common
# and are seen in radio stations and in rock videos, usually with a round,
# white "spit-screen" in front of them.
# If you have a chance to get either one TAKE IT! Even if you are not a
# musician. A U47 would probably get you a lifetime of backstages passes or
# at least the first pick of the groupies.

The Wet T-shirt Contest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#It's become _Fembot In A Wet T-Shirt_ on CD. So here goes an explanation.
#

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# OK, here's the scoop: In issue 3 of Society Pages, the amazing Den Simms,
# Rob Samler, & Eric Buxton pose the question to Frank. (sorry guys, for
# excerpting w/o permission, but this is an important question! Also, you
# guys are behind the times, never having mentioned the alt.fan.frank-zappa
# thing in your mag. so there)
#
# Rob asks, "What is a Fembot in a wet t-shirt?"
# FZ replies, "Do you remember the Six Million Dollar Man...?"
# RS: Uh-huh . sure.
# FZ: ... there was an episode where they were being attacked by
# fembots...these 'Female Robots"...[if] she enters a wet T-shirt
# contest, what happens?
# DS: Sparks fly.
# ...
# RS: So, why did you change the title on the CD?
# FZ: Why, what does it say on the CD?

#:-))))

And it's
WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES!
WET ONES!
BIG WET ONES!

At this point, FATHER RILEY *(who had been recently de-frocked for not
meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and bought a groovy sport
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# frank is making a joke. salesmen have to meet sales quotas, and in
# a sense (catholic) fathers, preachers, and pastors are all salesmen.
# in other words, didn't convince a lot of people to convert.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# His flock (congegration at the church) became to small, so they kicked
# him out.

coat and moved to Miami and changed his name to BUDDY JONES)* steps onto
the crowded bandstand in his exciting new role as a *WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
EMCEE...*
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# MC (em-cee) Master of Ceremonies.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Coopted by rappers much later to mean Mic Controller.

Buddy Jones:
Oh...you were the girl stuck to seat 38 *Phydeaux III...* why don't you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# The real name of FZ tour bus. Check out _Stink-Foot_ entry in
# Apostrophe N&C.

Toad-O Line
~~~~~~~~~~~

# It's called _On The Bus_ on CD version

Whereupon the house combo at the *Brasserie* drifts into a modified
version of one of Toad-O's big hit numbers
^^^^^^

# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>

# If you notice in that solo ("Toad-O-Line"/"On The Bus") Frank is quoting
# "Tow The Line" by Toto. Get it? He's playing the melody REALLY SLOWLY
# at first, and then it goes into his solo.
# Now since those of you who were born in the mid-70's probably don't
# remember that song (it was a truly remarkable piece of pomposity -- made
# Styx seem **deep**), I would guess Frank had you guys in the audience for
# this item and changed the title so that it might make a little bit more
# sense for you. I remember one of the first times I heard it, the person
# I was living with at the time had the radio on and Frank and Toto were
# battling it out. Toto was made up of session musicians (David Paich,
# Jeff Porcaro, and David Porcaro were all members), and judging from my
# sporadic involvement with that scene (I used to be a gorilla in a
# semi-famous theatrical rock group -- not saying who, but I'll give you a
# hint -- their most famous character was based on the New York Dolls) they
# all behaved like "rock stars" and CBS paid for it all.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# "Tow the line?" First of all, the expression is "Toe the line" Secondly,
# the SONG is "Hold the Line"

#
# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>

# You're right about the title. I don't make a habit of listening to that
# thing anymore than I have to. My mistake. At any rate that's the basis
# of the solo. Maybe I was thinking more of the pun "Toad-O Line" vs.
# "Tow The Line" and what it really is "Hold The Line."
#

# BTW, was it a CC?
# JABFLA _Billy The Mountain_
# Yes, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon when little Howard
# Kaplan was sitting on his porh ("Toto...!") just playing ("Come here,
# Toto...!") and having a nice time wit his ("Toto...!") accordion
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Toto is also the name the dog in the classic movie "The Wizard of Oz".
# The most famous line from that movie is when Dorothy says to her dog:
# "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore". Maybe some more CC with
# Lumpy Gravy with the exchange "How much?" "They're from Kansas."
# Maybe not.
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Toto was just a reference to the dog in _The Wizard Of Oz_, which the
# rock supergroup Toto subsequently named themselves after.
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# I read somewhere that Toto actually considered the source of their
# name to be the expression "in toto" (complete), not the dog from The Wizard
# Of Oz.

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...Meanwhile, Joe hears about Mary's
naughty exploits. He falls in with a fast crowd and gets seduced by a
girl who works at the Jack-In-The-Box, named Lucille, who gives him an
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
unpronounceable disease...

# American fast food place. See _Billy The Mountain_ entry in JABFLA N&C
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Seems to be specific to the West Coast. I've never seen one, in any case.

Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
Why does it hurt when I pee?

# From: aum...@halcyon.com (Brad Aumick)
# I got this out of the book "Road Mangler Deluxe", by Phil Kaufman (Franks
# road manager in 1979), pages 159-160:
#
# We got stuck in a bus on the way to a huge concert (125,000 people) in
# Saarbrucken, Germany. We were playing with Joan Baez, Ten Years After, The
# Tubes and others. I said to Frank, 'We got to get there two to three hours
# early because it's a small town. " He said, "Oh, fuck that. " So the tour
# bus got stuck in traffic. We were going through the traffic and I had my
# Wild Turkey sandwich. I was sitting in the back and having a little drink.
# I went into the toilet which was located in the middle of the bus. Halfway
# through my piss, I jokingly started screaming and everybody was looking at
# me. I cried, "Frank, why does it hurt when I pee?" and everybody laughed.
# By the time we had gotten through the crowd to the venue, he had written a
# song called "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" scored all the parts, given it
# out to all the guys in the band and made them play it that day. Needless
# to say, the band told me to shut my fucking mouth in the future. The song
# is on an album called "Joe's Garage" and if you see that album, you'll
# find a credit on the back which reads, "Special thanks to Phil Kaufman for
# asking the eternal question: Why does it hurt when I pee?"

Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOE is so disoriented by his disease, he goes in the other room and plays
the title cut from an old Jeff Simmons album, and sings along with it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Jeff Simmons: Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
# Straight STS 1057, 1969

Scrutinizer Postlude
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...again, Hi!...It's me again, the
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up, but, was
it the girl or was it the music? As you can see...girls, music, disease,
heartbreak...they all go together...Joe found out the hard way, but his
troubles were just beginning...his mind was so messed up...he could
hardly do nothin'...He was in a quandary...being devoured by the swirling
cesspool of his own steaming desires...the guy was a wreck...so...what
does he do? For once, he does something SMART...he goes out...and pays a
lot of money to *L. Ron Hoover*...at the *First Church of Appliantology!*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Joe.P...@launchpad.unc.edu (joseph palmer)
# ... that's just who he's insulting... L Ron Hubbard the man who's made 2
# religions, both for personal profit!!
# Kind of an asshole, and just the kind of person FZ liked to insult.
#
# From: dsch...@solaria.mil.wi.us (David E. Schultz)
# Well, sure FZ's playing a work game on the names Hubbarb-Hoover, but
# considering L. Ron is with the First Church of Applientology (as opposed
# to Scientology), what more appropriate name could FZ pick than that of the
# most noble of appliences, the Hoover vacuum cleaner. Think of how many
# Zappa songs feature vacuum cleaners . . .
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Zappa was critical of Scientology as early as 1969 in concerts (I put a
# quote on St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage relating to it.) Some lines in
# Cosmik Debris can also be interpreted as critical of Scientology. Of
# course, we on the net know what the $cientologists have been up to lately..
#
#CC
# Album: Just Another Band From L.A.
# Track: Billy The Mountain
#
# ...he bent over and put his head between his legs and said in very
# clear, impressive, Ron-Hubbard-type voice: "New York"...

A Token Of My Extreme
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# "A token of my extreme" is a play on words with the old phrase
# "A token of my esteem" which is something someone would say if they were
# giving a small gift to a person they admire or are proud of.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# It's the theme from early 70's. You can heard it on couple of bootlegs,
# for example
# Untitled. 8-Sept-1974. Bologna, Italy
# and
# with Captain Beefheart harmonica and words
# from
# Don't you be Tarot-fied
# It's just a token of my extreme
# to
# And you might be surprised
# At what you find when ya go!
# On _A Token Of My Extreme_ 11-Apr-1975. Claremont College
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# This might be considered an overly picky point, but there is no Claremont
# College. Bridges Auditorium is physically located at Pomona College (in the
# town of Claremont, California), and run by the Claremont Colleges, a group
# of six affiliated colleges (none of which is named Claremont College).
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# "A Token Of My Extreme" appeared (with words - I didn't check to see
# how they compare to the JG version) as a set-opener during the Bongo Fury
# tour. The earlier vamp incarnation appears on YCDTOSA 2.

L. Ron Hoover:
Don't you be Tarot-fied
^^^^^
It's just a token of my extreme

# It seems to have a special meaning and be a CC
# Look, it's from Overnite Sensation's _Camarillo Brillo_ song
#
# She said she was
# A Magic Mama
# A she could throw a mean Tarot
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Tarot cards are a pack of 78 illustrated cards. In the United States they
# are associated only with fortune-telling, though I believe in Italy they
# are used for playing games.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# tarot (tare-o) cards are used to predict the future.
# tarot-fied (tare-o-fide) is double-entendre with "terrified" and meaning
# a person who has had their future read with tarot cards (tarot-fied).
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# "Tarot" is a kind of occult-new-age-mystical thing, in which someone
# takes out a special deck of cards with extra cards (21 face cards and I
# think 40 numbered suit cards), has you pick out 13, and then tells you
# what your personality/past/future/etc. will be from looking at the cards
# and the order you placed them in. Of course, it's just another religious
# superstition. I believe Tarot was trendy sometime in the '70s, though as
# a divination device it's pretty old- the Tarot deck was the ancestor of
# today's playing cards.

L. Ron Hoover:
If you been
Mod-O-fied
^^^^^^^^^^
It's an illusion, an yer in between

#CC:-)))

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Once again is it only me who sees the link between Joe and
# Evelyn, A Modified Dog of One Size Fits All fame ?-)

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# No, you are not alone.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it is different.

Stick It Out
~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Here we have another example of old material reusage in new conceptual
# context. Check out _YCDIOSA_ vol.1 or Swiss Cheese bootleg for the
# origianl sound and One Size Fits All N&C for comments on God's Sofa
# suite. Lyrics can be found in YCDIOSA N&C.

... so Joe's learned how to speak German,
he goes in this place and he sees these
little Kitchen Machineries dancing around
with each other, and he sees this one...
that looks like it's cross between an
industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
piggy bank with marital aids struck all
over ots boddy

#CC
# Compare it with Chunga's Revenge album sleeve note
#
# "... A Gypsy mutant vacuum cleaner dances about a mysterious night
# time camp fire. Testoons. Dozens of imported castanets, clutched
# by the horrible suction ot its heavy duty force, waving with
# marginal erotic abandon in the midnight autumn air"
#
# Also worth seeng 200 Motels movie _Penis Dimensions_ part with the
# green vacuum cleaner performing ritual _aber beklecker nicht das
# Sofa_ dance :-)
#
# Very interesting and I hope correct explanation of vacuum cleaners
# can be found in Dominique Chevalier book _Viva, Zappa!_ p.50
# " [in his Cucamonga studio] Paul Buff used to play every instrument
# himself, using overdubs and he perfected a way of recording on to
# acetate demo-discs in place of cassettes. The problem was that
# acetate discs were very easily damaged by dust and very highly
# inflamable. Because of this, a vacuum cleaner was vital for when
# Zappa and Buff took the acetates to record companies! Beefheart
# holds one such appliance on the inner cover of _Hot Rats_. From
# time to time Zappa and Buff set fire to stacks of old acetates at
# night, lighting up the whole neighbourhood. This inspired the
# vacuum cleaner stories on _Chunga's Revenge_ and _The Perfect
# Stranger_
#
# And here is it. _The Perfect Stranger_ hooverism exstravaganza
# verbatim from the cover
# "In THE PERFECT STRANGER, a door-to-door salesman, accompained by
# his faithul gypsy-mutant industrial vacuum cleaner (as per the
# interior illustration on the "CHUNGA'S REVENGE" album cover), cavorts
# licentuously with slovenly housewife.
# We here the door bell, the housewife's eybrows going up and down
# as she spies the nozzle through the ruffled curtain, the sound of the
# little bag of demonstration dirt' being sprinkled on the rug, and
# assorted bombastic interjection representing the spiritual qualities of
# chrome, rubber, electricity, and household tidiness. The entire
# transaction is being viewed from a safe distance by Patricia, the dog
# in the hairchair"
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Also, I have seen a video of Zappa at home in the late 1960's, and he
# uses an indusrial-strength vacuum cleaner on the breast of a woman
# (babysitter?) to make her nipple go erect. She likes it.

Whereupon, in oder to prove JOE
that he is no ordinary Appliance,
SY quotes a few lines of traditional
American Love Poetry...

Sy Borg:
What's a girl like you % Fillmore's
Doing in a place like this? % What Kind Of Girl Do You
Do you come here often? Think We Are quote
Wait a minute... !
I've got it... ! Sheik Yerboutie
You're an Italian... ! quote
What? You're Jewish? !
Love your nails... !
You must be a Libra... !
Your place or mine? !
Your place or mine? !
See the chrome *
Feel the chrome * Fillmore's
Touch the chrome * Bwana Dik quote
Heal the chrome *
See the screaming, *
Hot black steaming, *
Iridescent naugahyde python screaming *
Steam Roller!!! *

#CC
# From: sjg...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
# In the Joe's Garage version of "Stick It Out," as well as "Bwana Dik" on
# the Fillmore East album, this line is prefaced by the mini-Who/Tommy
# tribute (appropriate for a rock opera, I might comment):
#
# See the chrome
# Feel the chrome
# Touch the chrome
# Heal the chrome
#
# And even before that, Sy quotes from the little segue between "Dancin'
# Fool" and "Jewish Princess" with the "What's girl like you doing in a place
# like this..." which also links conceptually (by a large stretch of the
# imagination) to the program of the Fillmore East album. Of course, as many
# people have mentioned before, "Stick It Out" was around at the time of
# the Fillmore East concert as part of the Sofa suite.
#
# Check out also appropriate N&Cs and WOIFTM _Flower Punk_ entry
# especially:-)))

Sy Borg
~~~~~~~

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# A pun on cyborg, half man half machine of science fiction. From whence the
# borg of star trek the new generation.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Cyborg is short for "cybernetic organism". It refers to someone who is
# half-man, half-robot, like the Six Million Dollar Man on TV (see Fembot in
# a Wet T-Shirt).

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Cyborg - roughly the same thing as an android or robot. I think it was
# coined by a science fiction writer but I wouldn't know who.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# I think this was to give the little roto-plooker a sense of
# characterization by giving him a nice name and spoofing his robot anatomy
# while he was at it.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Cyborg is a word for a man/machine.
# Sy is a common Jewish American given name. Perhaps short for Simon.
# Remember that in Act 1 it's Mrs. Borg (who keeps her son, Sy, locked in the
# closet with the vacuum cleaner) who calls the police.
# This can't be the same Sy Borg. My guess is that things got shifted a
# little in the months that passed between Act I's release and the release of
# Acts II and III.

Dong Work For Yuda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Central Scrutinizer:
... Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all criminals
from the music business... you know... the who get caught... it's
a horrible place, painted all green inside
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Hey, look, what a great piece of FZ project/object life conceptual
# continuity. From _The Real Frank Zappa Book_ p.81
# "We got married a couple of days before I left for the first
# Eropean tour. She was nine months pregnant, with delivery imminent.
# We went to the New York City Hall, arriving just before closing time...
# We then rush over to one of the little "marrying cubicle". It
# was green inside, and remind me of a pool table.
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!-)

Father Riley B. Jones:
This a story 'bout Bald-Headed John.

# From the cover credentials
# All selections composed, arranged & conducted by Frank Zappa
# except "Dong Work For Yuda", for which John Smothers provided
# words (the good ones)

# From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
# I think John Smothers was Frank's bodyguard, which he hired after being
# knocked off stage in 1972. When Frank introduced the song on stage, he used
# to thank Smothers for his contributions to the english language. Does anyone
# know if JS appeared on stage on the acapella version, saying those weird
# lines (What's that coming out of your mouth, suh-limah?), or if it was
# someone in the band?
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
# It was someone in the band. (Bozzio, I believe.)
# John is John Smothers, Frank's bodyguard from circa '76 to the end of
# his touring career. The song is basically a collection of in-jokes about
# Smothers's bizarre approach to language. (Its relation to the Joe's Garage
# plot is tenuous at best, but what the hey - the performance is nice.)

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Smothers did not do the 88 tour. Apparantly he had become ill sometime
# after the 85 Senate hearings - you can still see him by FZ's side
# there.
#
# From: zd...@aol.com (ZDesk)
# John was Frank's bodygaurd for years. Apparently, he had a talent for
# turning funny little phrases, spoonerisms, and the like. He has one of
# the better lines in Baby Snakes: "This band is young........This band
# is...stupid"

Former Execs:
Dong Work for Yuda, Dong, Dong
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: she...@delphi.com
# I believe that John Smothers was "Yuda," and the "dong work" is a reference
# to some of the shit John talked (mostly around the "Baby Snakes" era with
# the likes of Terry-Ted Bozzio) about penis size (his, mostly), other band
# members' sexual preferences, and his overall loose grip on the English
# language. Most of the spoken word parts in the song, by Terry, are
# supposedly actual quotes of things John would say to fellow members of the
# touring ensemble. "Dong Work for Yuda" orignally appeared, I think, as a
# semi-acoustic/sung-harmony live bit (well, at least, I've got a 1977 boot
# with this on it).
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# The acapella version of "Dong Work for Yuda" on Apocrypha has Terry
# Bozzio singing.
#
# From: hac...@storm.cs.orst.edu (Dianne Hackborn)
# Well, 'Yuda' is you and 'dong work' encompasses the various activities
# involving a penis.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Mike Keneally spoke about Yuda on a radio interview last year. Apparantly
# there was a Japansese promoter named Udo or similar and Smothers called him
# Yuda.

Former Execs:
He said Dong was Wong
^^^^
And Wong was Kong
^^^^
And Dong was Gong
^^^^

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A dong is a penis. Joe is going to do some dong work for Yuda (Bald-headed
# John) in prison by bending over. Bald-headed John has the iron sausage,
# the Kong. Another classic movie is "King Kong" about a giant gorilla.
# So the Kong is a large dong.

Bald-Headed John:
Make way for the iron shaschige
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu>
# Sausage refers to its resemblence to a penus and relates to "the night of
# the iron sausage" in torture [ never stops. Zoot Allures] and hometown
# sausage jamboree, which occurs in tinsel town (I think) on humor.

Bald-Headed John:
Bartender, bring me a colado and milk
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A pina colada is a fancy ladies' drink. It usually comes with a little
# paper umbrella in the glass and is flavored with pineapple and coconut.
# Not the kind of drink you would expect Bald-headed John or John Smothers to
# order. Maybe John Smothers drank these and the band members thought it
# was funny?

Bald-Headed John:
On second thought, make that a water...
HtO
^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# H2O, Di-hydrogen oxide, water. John gets it wrong again. John orders
# the water instead of the coloda drink. When John Smothers is supposed to
# guarding Frank, he shouldn't be getting drunk.

Bald-Headed John:
Falcum!
Take me to the falcum!
^^^^^^
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# ... to paraphrase from memory a story Frank told : in '76 or
# '77, the band was going to play at the Falkonner Theatre (spelling?) in
# Copenhagen, and Frank and Smothers needed to take a taxi from the hotel to
# the venue. So Smothers gets in the front seat of the taxi and shouts
# "Falcum!". The driver has no idea what he means. Smothers repeats himself,
# and the driver still doesn't understand. Then Smothers shouts, "Take *me*
# to de Falcum!" The frightened driver gets up and *runs* from the taxi to
# the hotel lobby to try and find out what's going on from the hotel manager.
# Thus, "take me to the falcum."
# The above story doesn't work too well without the benefit of being able
# to hear Smothers's speaking style (he appears in parts of Baby Snakes), but
# hopefully this helps a little.
#
# From: tr...@ce.chalmers.se (Ulf Tropp)
# Zappa played at Falkonerteatret (which means the Falconer Theatre) 1988 too.
# Falcon/Falcum was the secondary Secret Word that night (primary was 'Air
# Hose'). I seem to remember a large sculpture of a falcon somewhere near/at
# the building.

Bald-Headed John:
I wave my bags
^^^^
Did you wave your'n
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Presumably "I weighed my bags. Did you weigh yours?"

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Not a prertty picture, but I think he's talking about scrotums.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Maybe he's waving his large testicles? Did you wave yours?

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# How about: "I weighed my bags, did you weigh yours?" A necessary
# preparation before boarding a plane.

Bald-Headed John:
This girl must be praketing richcraft
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Practicing witchcraft? Was her name Ethel The Tree ?-)
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Debra Kadabra? Guacamole Queen? Camarillo Brillo?

Bald-Headed John:
Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I don't know what he means here. He's probably referring to where he
# learned to be a bodyguard.

I just love the way these Copenhagens talk

# See *Falcum* comments above

Driver McDoodle

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Smotherism for telling the driver of the limo to take them to McDonalds
# restaurant.

Once a mumfth...
^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Once a month. As in period.

Keep It Greasy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe:
And dream of guitar notes
To go with the loading zone announcements

///\\\\\////\\\\///\\\\

# And here comes the guitar solo

# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)

# Along with the live effects which are realised through amps, pre-amps,
# modules and effect boxes, Frank used studio techniques like speeding up
# parts and using existing live tapes onto completely different parts (he
# called this technique Xenochrony I believe).
# Xenochrony: When the Zoot Allures album came out, there seemed to be a new
# approach to randomise and re-contextualising guitar parts: Zappa took an
# existing live solo from tape and dumped it on an existing track. The
# complete randomness of this technique was refined some years later and this
# made the guitar sounds on Joe's garage sound how they do. I assume there
# must be unreleased examples of this 'cause this wouldn't always work as well
# as it did on 'Friendly Little Fingers' having two different metres and
# different tempi... (the people who buy these records listen so
# carefully...). He also did this in 'Yo Mama', 'Rubber Shirt' and on most of
# the guitar solos from Joe's garage (not Watermelon...).

Joe:
Any kind
Of lube'll do
May be from another
Part of you
Lube from the North
Lube from the South
^^^^

# Obviously, it's just lubrication

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Saliva and natural juices.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# North is the mouth. South is the other end.

Outside Now
~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
These executives have plooked the fuck out of me
^^^^^^^

# From: Paul.Re...@f222.n2613.z1.fidonet.org (Paul Remington)
# `Plook' is a slang word meaning to copulate, the act of sexual intercourse,
# or more simply put, to FUCK! :-)
#
# From: bo...@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu (John Smallberries)
# Plook: To sodomize; to give it or receive it in the rear-end.
#
# From: ais...@news.salford.ac.uk (Neil)
# Plook - To fuck someone up the arse
# Plooked - Having been fucked up the arse
# Plooking - Fucking someone up the arse
# Hey, it's the 20th century! No problem.

every exec knows it's only the records with the high squeally ones
that gets to be hit ( except for Duane Eddy )
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# famous rockabilly guitarist from late 50's early 60's if i remember right.
# time frame might be wrong. i also associate with surf guitar.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Electric guitarist known for his twangy sound in instrumentals recorded in
# the 1950s.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A very famous early 60's (?) guitar player. I believe the theme from Peter
# Gunn (which you've heard even if you don't know it by name) is his most
# famous output. I believe he made extensive use of the TWANG BAR.

#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# His first big hit was "Rebel Rouser" and the first thing perspiring
# guitarists at the time had to learn to do was bend that G on the third
# fret of the 6th string, then twang the open E. There were only two special
# effects on guitar amps then: a spring reverb and a pulsing tremelo. Eddy
# used the spring reverb on practically everything and made it his signature
# sound. "Rebel Rouser", with its rebel yells and wild band noises endeared
# Eddy to Dick Clark, who regularly featured him on American Bandstand as one
# of the few purely instrumental rock musicians at the time to attain success
# (another group he liked was Johnny and the Hurricanes - who were much better
# musicians than any of their recorded material would indicate. Dave Yorko,
# the guitarist, was totally awesome in some of the performances I saw in the
# Toledo area, in the early 60s, after he quit the group).
# Coupla other hits were "40 Miles Of Bad Roads" and "Because They're Young",
# the theme from a totally horrible teen exploitation film which nonetheless
# dazzled us all because of the string orchestration, something verbotten for
# rock at the time. I think that one might have hit #1 (with a bullet for CC)
# on the American Bandstand charts, briefly, in a time when there was little
# competition save for Fabian, Bobby Rydell, Frankie Avalon, and other
# Elvis-wannabes in Clark's Philly Stable during the King's semi-retirement
# in the Army.

Packard Goose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
May be you thought I was the Packard Goose
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Ben Watson, who amazingly enough is right in this particular instance,
# takes this as a reference to Vance Packard, author of the book _The
# Hidden Persuaders_, about media manipulation of the populace in the 1950s.
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# One of my special friends spoke once with Ike about the phrase "Packard
# Goose." I can't remember all of the details from the explanation, but it
# had something to do with a hood ornament on a 50's car. So Ben Watson was
# probably wrong, but in this case he gets points for imagination.

Or the Ronald MacDonald of the nouveau-abstruse
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# ronald macdonald is the mascot of macdonalds hamburgers, another marketing
# plan. nouveau-abstruse is made up term i'm sure, but at that time there
# was a lot of talk about the nouveau-cousine which was very chic, or that was
# the reputation, never tasted it myself. another use of nouveau would be
# nouveau-rich, as in the newly rich.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Ronald McDonald is a clown who is the mascot of McDonald's, the fast-food
# hamburger place. Nouveau-abstruse is a made-up term that sounds like the
# name of a movement in art. "Nouveau" is "new" in French (which makes it
# sound more sophisticated), while "abstruse" means "difficult to
# understand".

Selling punk like some new kind of English disease.

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i think reference to punk music rather, depends on time period, don't
# have joe's garage with me to see when it was made exactly but punk
# in uk started earlier than most realize.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Second Wave of British Invasion. Sex Pistols, Clash, Buzzcocks, GBH,
# UK Subs. This came out in the late 70's.
# Frank thought punk was a step backwards. He fits more with progressive
# and art rock which is more compositional and advances the form and
# incorporates classical and jazz. Punk was a rebellion against this and a
# return to minimalist forms. Some say that the divergence between The
# Mothers and the Velvet Underground are the roots of these two musical
# directions.
#
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# Here, I assumed this was in response to the musical journalism community's
# heavy promotion of punk rock music in the late 70's, in the same way Green
# Day and Rancid have been overpromoted the past couple of years.

Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis (which is extint)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# The speech is just disintegrating into babble here. Could make for an
# interesting metaphor with the album (see: A LIttle Green Rosetta).

Beauty is a French phonetic corruption
Of a short cloth neck ornament

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# Well, in French, beauty is 'beaute' (accent on that last e) which
# phonetically is BOW-TAY, which is kinda like BOW-TIE, i.e. a short cloth
# neck ornament currently in resurgence. Hope that helps!

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# It's "a French phonetic corruption of a....neck ornament." I forget what's
# missing there. At first I thought Frank had uncovered some little-known
# fact about # the origin of the word. Now, I suppose it's a joke...."beauty"
# equals "beau ty" which equals...."bow tie." Ouch.

Joe:
I think...
What tone!
Sounds like an Elegant Gypsy!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Al Dimeola released an album around that time called Elegant Gypsy.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Al DiMeola, ladies and gentlemen. Elegant Gypsy is one of his album
# titles. The lick that follows is a spoof on his characteristic style.

What's that? Musk?
It's hip!

#CC
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# Another bit of CC I noticed-- the "What is that, musk? It's hip!" bit
# from Packard Goose also appears in 200 Motels, in the animated
# sequence where Donovan appears before Jeff Simmons on the wall-mounted
# TV screen.

Watermelon In Eastern Hay
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Karsisto Konsta <k...@cs.tut.fi>
# FZ: And the word is Radio 1 and this is Frank Zappa about to play
# the last selection on my artificial disc jockey program. And
# before I disappear into the wilderness I want to thank Graham,
# Martin and Trevor, and remind you that next on Radio 1 its Alexis
# Korner. Now they have allowed me, erm, here on this radio station,
# to actually play one of my own toons on this radio show, and for
# this fact I will be *deeply* indebted to them forever, and, er,
# I've chosen as my one representative item from the repertoire that
# I can squeeze in here, a song called "Watermelon In Easter Hay". And
# I will now provide you with a piece of information about the
# title: That's not the complete title of this song. The *real* title
# of this song is "Playing A Guitar Solo With This Band Is Like
# Trying To Grow A Watermelon In Easter Hay". And that's where it
# came from. From me, Frank Zappa, goodbye!

Central Scrutinizer:
Joe did, and he's happy guy now, on the day shift at the Utility
Muffin Research Kitchen, arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas
snoot of fully-charged icing anointment utensil. And every time
a nice little muffin comes on the belt, he poots forth
^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# "whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
# Ronnie helping kenny helping burn his poots away."
# [ Let's Make The Water Turn Black. WOIFTM ]
# The second line, as verified in "The Real Frank Zappa Book", is a reference
#to pyroflatulation.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# And direct CC is of course Bongo Fury _Muffin Man_
#
# The Muffin Man is seated at the table
# In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen...
# ...
# Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
# of fully-charged icing anointment utensil.
# He poots forth a a quarter-ounce green rosette
# Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin
# of his own design

Central Scrutinizer:
Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: j...@zirconium.mcc.com (Joe Newman)
# It's a reference to a 50's doo-wop tune, but I'll be dipped in shit if I
# can remember who did it. Relic records has put out a CD of their stuff,
# including Japanese Sandman. They've also put out lots of other obscure
# doo-wop re-issues. You can probably get a lot of their CDs from Roots and
# Rhythm in El Cerrito, California:

Steve Gadd's clone to play the out-chorus on this song
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# He's a drummer as far as I know. I believe he's among personal of
# Al Di Meola _orange and blue_ 1994 album. Never played with FZ.
# Who can add any info about his out-chorus playing clones?
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# Steve Gadd is a session drummer who was particularly famous in the late
# 70's.
#
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# As well as one of Vinnie C's biggest influences.

Zetta...

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Sep 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM9/2/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part9

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Version 2.20.1, July 1996 |
----------------------------------------------------------------

| part 9 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

==================
The YCDTOSA series
==================

mantained by

Francesco Gentile
gent...@xantia.caspur.it

ver 2.4
17 December 1995

This FAQ file was initially called "Cruising with YCDTOSA". Then I
submitted it to the attention of the FAQ series mantainers (Robbert
Hedderik and Vladimir Sovetov) and after a separate issue in the
series, we decided to add it to Notes & Comments sub-series mantained
by Vladimir.

This document is an attempt to gather what the Internet & affz
(including me even if I don't use to post often) said and will say
about YCDTOSA. Presumed errors, notes, comments, lyrics etc. Some of
them are due to "The Secret Lab of Dr.Including" and have been
published in the vols. 29 and 30 of The Black Page magazine (thanks to
Remco Takken who has posted these Dr.Including studies). For the sake
of brevity this last source will be quoted as "[BP]" throughout the
document.

Due to technical problems, sometimes I lost a lot of affz posts. So,
if you have comments please mail them to me also. Lastly, please correct
my english!

2.3 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(3, 16); (4, 6); (4, 18); (4, 32); (5, 14); (5, 19); (6, 10); (6, 11);
(6, 24); (6, 27). All these comments are due to Tan Mitsugu.

2.4 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(1,2); (1,14); (5,37); (6,10); (6,35).

Finally, this document is dedicated to all FZ addict who "listen so
carefully to every little detail".

Current version includes contributions of:

Carl Berger <ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de>
Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
Scott Chatfield, Mike Keneally <sc...@cts.com>
Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Brian Downing <br...@dsm.fordham.edu>
Alek 'DownerMan' <al...@best.com>
Cory Ferber <cmf...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu>
Dianne Hackborn <hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU>
Martin Jenkins <x...@cix.compulink.co.uk>
MHB <M...@mitvma.mit.edu>
Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
Jon Naurin <92u...@chestud.chalmers.se>
Dave Perry <d...@hydra.carleton.ca>
P. Psutka <u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA>
Ola Rinta-Koski <o...@vipunen.hut.fi>
Rob Sweet <sw...@skat.usc.edu)
Remco Takken <s060...@let.rug.nl>
Tan Mitsugu <a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp>
Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
John Walsh <z...@maths.tcd.ie>
David L. Windt <wi...@nanook.div111.att.com>

ok, let's go ...

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 1 (May 1988, 137:34 min.)
================================================================

1. The Florida Airport Tape (1:04)
2. Once Upon A Time (4:38)
3. Sofa #1 (2:53)
4. The Mammy Anthem (5:41)
5. You Didn't Try To Call Me (3:39)
6. Diseases Of The Band (2:22)
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:44)
8. Let's Make The Water Turn Black/
Harry, You're A Beast/
The Orange County Lumber Truck (3:28)
9. The Groupie Routine (5:41)
10. Ruthie-Ruthie (Brock/Berry) (2:57)
11. Babbette (3:36)
12. I'm The Slime (3:13)
13. Big Swifty (8:47)
14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow (20:16)
15. Plastic People (Zappa/Berry) (4:39)
16. The Torture Never Stops (15:48)
17. Fine Girl (2:55)
18. Zomby Woof (5:39)
19. Sweet Leilani (Owens) (2:39)
20. Oh No (4:34)
21. Be In My Video (3:30)
22. The Deathless Horsie (5:29)
23. The Dangerous Kitchen (1:50)
24. Dumb All Over (4:20)
25. Heavenly Bank Account (4:06)
26. Suicide Chump (4:56)
27. Tell Me You Love Me (2:09)
28. Sofa #2 (3:01)

1. The Florida Airport Tape
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on April, 1970
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet). The band listed performed
in Miami on April, 1970 (I don't know the day).

2. Once Upon A Time
lyrics (the first part is due to me, the second to Brian Downing,
both have been refurbished with the help of the Robbert Heederik
vault of files):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Bolman

oh, thank you Frank
and don't misspell it, that's not Marc Bolan that's Mark Volman
#### #####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
Date: 20 Apr 1995 18:56:54 GMT

Bolan. Mark Bolan was the singer/guitarist of T. Rex. Mark
Volman (and Howard Kaylan, of course) sang back-up on many T.
Rex songs, including the hit "Bang a Gong (Get It On)". (That's
why it sounded so authentic when Flo & Eddie did an excerpt
from this song on one of their albums.)
---------------------------------------------------------------

Hiya friends
I wanna welcome each and everyone of you
I wanna say to you tonight
I feel great
I mean, I feel great
everywhere I go people are always comin' up to me
and they say Mark, Mark, Mark
#### #### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

"Mark, Mark, Mark" - Volman sounds like he's barking here

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mark are you kiddin'
lemme tell you this friends:
I am not kiddin'
I mean, I am portly and I am maroon
well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am?

aaaah
I can't guess what you are

well, then I'll give you some clues
and the first clue is
I am portly
does that help?

not much
no, I don't know who you are

Okay, I got one
clue number two:
I am double knit
###### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: M...@mitvma.mit.edu
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 95 14:37:50 EDT

I betcha that's "double knit," which was the technique used to
weave the stretchable polyester fabrics that comprised leisure
suits in the '70s, which was the subject under discussion in
"Eddie Are You Kidding?" and, presumably, this song as well.
---------------------------------------------------------------
does that help?

no, not much
Whaddya mean?

well, then I've to give you one more clue
I know this is gonna give it away
and I hate like damn to tell you this
but clue number three:

---------------------------------------------
the following was posted to affz:
From: br...@dsm.fordham.edu (Brian Downing)
Date: Sat, 27 Feb 1993 18:14:13 GMT
---------------------------------------------

Ich bin Maroon!

Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa!

once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Volman ...

thank you Frank

... trying to convince each and every member
of this extremely hip audience here tonight,

that he was nothing more, nothing less

than a fat maroon sofa,

suspended in the midst of a great emptiness

a light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)

And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord
and he took, he took a look at the sofa,

and he said to himself

"Quite an attractive sofa"
"This sofa could be commercial"

With a few more Margaritas and the right company

However, I digress
"What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G'
#######
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

[...] really should be "The Big 'G'", you know, as in God.

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
and so in order to make this construction project possible,
he summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,
and, by means of a cute little song in the German language
(which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business)

the Good Lord went something like this:

(take it away Jim Pons!)

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

and of course ladies and gentlemen that means:
"give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"
and sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
as far as vision permits,
stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis
and the Lord put aside his huge cigar
and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa
the bulk of his message
with the assistance of a small electric clarinet
and it went something like this...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. Once Upon A Time
3. Sofa #1
These two songs were the first two parts of a big piece, that we
may call "The Big Sofa", that The Mothers used to perform in the
"Flo & Eddie Era". A good take of the whole thing can be heard in
the Rhino officialized boot "Fire!". It consists of: "Once Upon A
Time I", "Sofa #1" (these ones), "Once Upon A Time II" (a quick
reprise of OUAT I), "Stick It Out" and "Divan" (Zappa named the
last part of "The Big Sofa" in "Playground Psychotics" (disc 1,
track 13)). This version of "Stick It Out" is still officially
unreleased (April, 1995).

4. The Mammy Anthem
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 14, 1982.
[BP]: solo is shortened, original title was "Born To Suck".

5. You Didn't Try To Call Me
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Things Wayne Newton Never Told You" (LP),
"Songs Einstein, Jr Never Heard" (CD),
"Erdbeben in Munchen" (CD),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).

6. Diseases Of The Band
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Wrong band on the booklet: Ike Willis must be added to the line-up
listed (FZ presents IW in DOTB).

9. The Groupie Routine
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 7, 1971
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
The "Freak me out Frank, Freak me out" bit at the beginning appears
also on the "Remington Electric Razor" vynil bootleg. This intro is
not mentioned in the booklet but I don't think it comes from the
"Ruthie-Ruthie" tape.

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
11. Babbette
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
Wrong band and imprecise date on the booklet: Ike Willis must be
added to the line-up listed, for the date [BP] so speaks:
a) Don't eat the Yellow Snow: Feb 19
b) Nanook rubs it: Feb 18 first show (poem parts)
Feb 19 (religion rap)
first part misses a poem recited by Warren
c) St Alphonzo's to Rollo Feb 18 first show
Some YCDTOSA series poetry Conceptual Continuity/Statistical
Density clues (see also "King Kong" from "YCDTOSA 3").

Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 21 Aug 1995

Anyway, I've found another piece of information on YCDTOSA
Vol.1. It's not my own finding, though. It's from Society
Pages #7. I've read the lyrics of Vol.1, and this reading
reminded me of an article which was in the 'DIDJA KNOW...'
column of SP #7. It says:

> DIDJA KNOW the origin of that twisted poem ("Alone in the
> hissing laboratory of his wishes...etc.") that Frank recites
> during the "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow" suite from YCDTOSA,
> VOL.1? It comes from "Under Milk Wood", a poem by Dylan
> Thomas. Since Frank misquotes the middle part of the poem,
> dropping a few words, it would seem that he must have been
> reciting it from memory.

I tried to check it by going to my university's library. Then
I did find the quoted paragragh. Here's the original:

Alone in the hissing laboratory of his wishes,
Mr Pugh minces among bad vats and jeroboams,
tiptoes through spinneys of murdering herbs,
agony dancing in his crucibles, and mixes
especially for Mrs Pugh a venomous porridge
unknown to toxicologists which will scald and
viper through her until her ears fall off like figs,
her toes grow big and black as balloons,
and steam comes screaming out of her navel.

Source: Society Pages #7, p.52.
Dylan Thomas, "Under Milk Wood", J.M.Dent & Sons Ltd.,
London, 1954, p.63.

It's interesting that while FZ himself said 'reading a book
make me sleep', he did remember Dylan Thomas's poetry. The
result of higher education?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

16. The Torture Never Stops
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on Febrauary 25, 1978
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

21. Be In My Video
The song is preceeded by a short 1970 chat in wich Aynsley Dumbar
seems to negotiate a "knob-job" with a girl who wants to go to
Orlando (thanks to Mike Keneally for having recognized the magic
two-words word "knob-job" in his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating
The Poodle" (http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes)).
This version appears in the "Does Humor Belong in Music?" video.

21. Be In My Video
22. The Deathless Horsie
23. The Dangerous Kitchen
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on August 26, 1984
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

22. The Deathless Horsie
[BP]: solo is shortened.

24. Dumb All Over
25. Heavenly Bank Account
26. Suicide Chump
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
[BP]: on both DAO and SC one solo is missing.

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 2 (October 1988, 116:42 min.)
====================================================================

1. Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme) (2:48)
2. Stinkfoot (4:18)
3. Inca Roads (10:54)
4. RDNZL (8:43)
5. Village Of The Sun (4:33)
6. Echidna's Arf (Of You) (3:30)
7. Don't You Ever Wash That Thing? (4:56)
8. Pygmy Twylyte (8:22)
9. Room Service (6:22)
10. The Idiot Bastard Son (2:39)
11. Cheepnis (4:28)
12. Approximate (8:11)
13. Dupree's Paradise (23:59)
14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango) (Mononen) (3:51)
15. T'Mershi Duween (1:31)
16. The Dog Breath Variations (1:38)
17. Uncle Meat (2:28)
18. Building A Girl (1:00)
19. Montana (Whipping Floss) (10:15)
20. Big Swifty (2:16)

General notes on the bass drum sound:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (Remco Takken)
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 1994 22:55:36 GMT

Well, you just can't believe anything you see and hear, can you
(sorry for the Hendrix quote on alt.fan.Frank Zappa). Ruben & the
Jets never mentioned any overdubs on the cd... YCDTOSA #2 believe it
or not, has the bass drum of Chad Wackerman on it. The original
Chester notes were put on harddisc, and from there the new bass drum
sound was triggered. It's still Chester's playing, with a new sound
attached to it. I heard this information from an extreme Zappa freak
and sound specialist called Nick Roovers (still a chance that I
fucked up his information, blame me in that case). I happen to like
this sound a lot, especially on headphones, check out the other
Chester Thompson passages on other YCDTOSA volumes. You can now
recognise Thompson for a sound he never heard himself, because Chad
Wackerman never played that way...
---------------------------------------------------------------------

There are only other two tracks from this band on the series: "Smell
My Beard" and "The Booger Man" both from YCDTOSA 4. The Gorilla bass
drum sounds different in these two, more natural to me also.

3. Inca Roads
The guitar solo for this version has been used, with a different
edit, for the "One Size Fits All" version of IR (see the OSFA
liner notes).

12. Approximate
The "so modern way number 3 'with the feet' " way to perform
this song is visually very "exhilarating". I highly recommend
the "Dub Room Special" video for a complete amusement with
another version of this song from an LA 1974 concert.

14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
Lyrics to this song and a nice photo strictly connected with
it are available through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik
web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/).
The photo is a JPEG file
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.jpg)
and is described in
http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.txt.
Here is the description:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The photograph was taken at the Kulttuuritalo (Culture house)
concert hall in Helsinki on September 22, 1974. The persons are
Ruth Underwood, Chester Thompson, Matti Koskiala, George Duke,
Tom Fowler and Frank Zappa. Matti Koskiala, a veteran Finnish
drummer and percussionist, is teaching the band to play a Finnish
tango, Satumaa.

I scanned the picture from the July 1991 issue of "Muusikko", the
Finnish musicians union magazine. I didn't ask their or Mr.
Koskiala's permission.

The Finnish RSO plays at the same hall. I am proud to have played
percussion with them on this very same stage, conducted by Ingo
Metzmacher, who has recorded an excellent CD of Conlon
Nancarrow's studies with Ensemble Modern.

Matti Sunell
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the lyrics:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Aavan meren tuolla puolen jossakin on maa,
missa onnen kaukorantaan laine liplattaa.
Missa kukat kauneimmat luo aina loistettaan,
siella huolet huomisen voi jaada unholaan.

Oi jospa kerran sinne satumaahan kayda vois,
niin sielta koskaan lahtisi en linnun lailla pois.
Vaan siivetanna en voi lentaa vanki olen maan,
vain aatoksin mi kauas entaa sinne kayda saan.

Lenna laulu sinne missa siintaa satumaa,
sinne missa oma armain mua odottaa.
Lenna laulu sinne lailla linnun liitavan.
Kerro etta aatoksissain on vain yksin han.

Oi jospa kerran...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

And the first two verses translate as follows:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: o...@vipunen.hut.fi (sir Ola Rinta-Koski)
Date: 8 Jul 92 12:32:22

There's a land beyond the vast sea
where waves wash on the shores of happiness
where beautiful flowers always blossom
where worries of tomorrow can be forgotten

Oh if once I could go to that fairytale land
never would I leave from there like a bird
but without wings I cannot fly, I'm a prisoner of ground
only in thoughts that reach so far can I ever there be

I don't believe an 'official' translation exists...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 (November 1989, 135:03 min.)
=====================================================================

1. Sharleena (8:54)
2. Bamboozled By Love (6:06)
3. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (2:52)
4. Advance Romance (1984) (6:56)
5. Bobby Brown Goes Down (2:44)
6. Keep It Greasey (3:30)
7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:16)
8. In France (3:01)
9. Drowning Witch (9:22)
10. Ride My Face To Chicago (4:22)
11. Carol, You Fool (4:06)
12. Chana In De Bushwop (Zappa/Diva Zappa) (4:52)
13. Joe's Carage (2:20)
14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? (3:06)
15. Dickie's Such An Asshole (10:08)
16. Hands With A Hammer (Bozzio) (3:18)
17. Zoot Allures (6:09)
18. Society Pages (2:33)
19. I'm A Beautiful Guy (1:55)
20. Beauty Knows No Pain (2:55)
21. Charlie's Enormous Mouth (3:40)
22. Cocaine Decisions (3:14)
23. Nig Biz (4:59)
24. King Kong (24:32)
25. Cosmik Debris (5:13)

1. Sharleena
This version was also released (a different edit 6:47 long) as
a flexi-disc by the "Guitar Player" Magazine (Sound Page #28)
on January 1987.
[BP]: announcement, guitar duet & ending are shortened.

2. Bamboozled By Love
[BP]: Chicago, Bismarck Theatre (November 23 1984, 2nd show).
Guitar solo is shortened.

4. Advance Romance (1984)
[BP]: 00:00 Chicago '84
01:03 Vancouver, Queen Elisabeth Theatre
(December 18, 1984, 2nd show)
02:31 Chicago '84
Front part of guitar solo is missing.

6. Keep It Greasey
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 2nd show)
01:21 NYC, The Pier (August 26, 1984)
01:48 Seattle
03:23 NYC.

7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
[BP]: 00:00 NYC (August 26, 1984)
00:56 NYC (August 25, 1984)

8. In France
[BP]: guitar solo is missing, harmonica solo is shortened.

9. Drowning Witch
Here is the true, complex story of this version according to [BP]:
00:00 Bolzano, Campo Comunale (July 3, 1982)
00:35 unknown 1984
01:57 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
02:28 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:40 Bolzano '82
03:42 Chicago '84 (1st show)

14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
In the liner notes FZ tells us a story about the December 15
Salt Lake City concert, so the SLC references in the first part
of this version can't belong to the November 23 Chicago concert.
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 1st show)
01:50 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:37 unknown 1884

15. Dickie's Such An Asshole
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
DSAA is named "Tricky Dicky" on this bootleg and has the George
Duke solo cut out.
[BP]: front part is missing.

16. Hands With A Hammer
17. Zoot Allures
Bootleg(s) in which these versions (until 2:24 in ZA) have appeared:
"The Eyes Of Osaka" (2 CD)
"Strange Habits" (2 CD).
These two bootlegs have a different cover but are identical.
That band used the drum solo in HWAH as an intro to ZA, in
this version, according to [BP], is shortened. Also, HWAH and the
first part of ZA come from Osaka (Febraury 3, 1976 (source: affz,
Pat Buzby)), not from Tokio. Lastly, according to [BP], part two
of ZA (from 2:24) has been recorded on May 30, 1982.
Moreover Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

At 1:11, during Terry's drum solo, you can hear someone (maybe
Roy Estrada) shouting, something like 'Kinishinai!'. It is a
Japanese word which means 'don't worry about it', although Roy's
intonation is far different from ordinary Japanese, no Japanese
considered it as 'our language'. Interesting that the same word
is also heard on the outro of 'Dancin' Fool' (the background
vocal of FZ chating).
Source: 'ZAPPA!' (1992 Guitar&Keyboard Player special issue,
p.87).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
The Palermo riot. Here is a translation for the Italian you
can hear in this track, MB is Massimo Bassoli (see also notes
& comments to "Uncle Meat"):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
min. voice text (#) notes
TRANSLATION

1:55 FZ massimo come here

1:58 FZ bring the band on down behind me boys

2:02 MB ragazzi per favore,
zappa vorrebbe dirvi di stare calmi,
di non gettare niente nello stadio(1)
e di non ... avere problemi con la polizia.
cercate di stare calmi.
non sappiamo esattamente cosa sta succedendo
pero' cercate di mantenere la calma
cosi' si puo' andare avanti con lo spettacolo.
PLEASE GUYS,
ZAPPA WOULD TELL YOU TO BE CALM,
TO NOT THROW ANYTHING INTO THE STADIUM,
AND TO NOT ... HAVE TROUBLES WITH THE POLICE.
TRY TO BE CALM.
WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING
BUT TRY TO KEEP CALM
SO THAT THE SHOW CAN GO ON

2:56 FZ seduti per favore
PLEASE SEAT DOWN

3:01 GUY1 ma che e'?
(2) WHAT'S UP?

3:03 GUY2 hanno rotto, hanno rotto sta porta qui no(4) ...
(3) hanno rotto sta porta qui
perche' veniva in campo
allora siccome la polizia si e'...(5)
con(6) la porta aperta
non voleva entrasse tutta la gente. Capito?
THEY HAVE BROKEN, THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
BECAUSE OPENS TO THE FIELD
THEN SINCE THE POLICE IS ...
WITH THE DOOR OPENED
THEY DIN'T WANT ALL PEOPLE IN. UNDERSTAND?

NOTES

(1) I may be wrong but I suspect MB would say stage
instead of stadium but he was a little bit confused.

(2) Left channel.

(3) Center, then left channel.

(4) "no" means no! But you can't translate it in this
context. Maybe an attempt would be "RIGHT?".

(5) Something strange here happens: I think there is an
edit or a strange mix of the spoken parts. What i notice
is that the words before the note sign (5) do not match
with the following.

(6) Here you can hear FZ saying "nig biz"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
[BP]: 00:00 unknown 1984
00:0? into Chicago '84 (1st show)
00:49 Palermo, Stadio Comunale (July 14, 1982).

23. Nig Biz
[BP]: opening part is shortened.

24. King Kong
Wrong 1971 venue on the booklet: the concert was performed at the
Rainbow Theater.
Some "Thing Fish"/"YCDTOSA series" poetry Conceptual
Continuity/Statistical Density clues.

In "The Massive Improve'lence" (from "Thing Fish") at 2:09 Bob
Harris sings:

I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A BURRO
IN THE FROSTY LIGHT!

In this track at 13:50 Tommy Mars sings exactly the same verses
in a Yellow Snow 79 ("YCDTOSA 1") live poetry fashion.
Is there any reason for this?

Moreover at 14:34, during the 82' section, *DENNY WALLEY* says
"oh you want kinder garden!". Yes DW, in 1982!
What really happen is that at 11:09 in "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow"
("YCDTOSA 1") DW says "oh you want kinder garden" and this little
fragment was inserted in "King Kong" ("YCDTOSA 3") at 14:34.
Lastly, according to [BP], these are the edits:
00:00 Metz '82
05:01 London '71 (Sax & guitar solo are shortened)
12:13 London, Hammersmith Odeon (June 19, 1982, 2nd show)
(Keyboard solo & 'Garden' rap are shortened)
14:34 London '79 (see above)
14:35 Metz '82
18:02 unknown, maybe Dijon 1982
23:30 unknown 1982.

25. Cosmik Debris
[BP]: 00:00 unknown '84
00:30 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
01:36 Portland, Arlene Schwitzer Theatre (December 20, 1984)
03:12 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
03:25 Portland '84
04:04 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
04:19 unknown 1984

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 4 (June 1991, 133:59 min.)
=================================================================

1. Little Rubber Girl (Zappa/Walley) (2:57)
2. Stick Together (2:04)
3. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (3:20)
4. Willie The Pimp (2:07)
5. Montana (5:43)
6. Brown Moses (2:38)
7. The Evil Prince (7:13)
8. Approximate (1:49)
9. Love Of My Life (Collins/Zappa) (1:58)
10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos (1984) (7:11)
11. You Call That Music? (4:07)
12. Pound For A Brown Solos (1978) (6:30)
13. The Black Page (1984) (5:15)
14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game (Norworth/Von Tilzer) (3:02)
15. Filthy Habits (5:40)
16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version) (9:15)
17. Church Chat (2:00)
18. Stevie's Spanking (10:51)
19. Outside Now (6:10)
20. Disco Boy (3:00)
21. Teen-Age Wind (1:54)
22. Truck Driver Divorce (4:47)
23. Florentine Pogen (5:10)
24. Tiny Sick Tears (4:30)
25. Smell My Beard (Duke/Zappa) (4:30)
26. The Booger Man (Duke/Brock/Zappa) (2:47)
27. Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (6:28)
28. Are You Upset? (1:29)
29. Little Girl Of Mine (Levy/Cox) (1:41)
30. The Closer You Are (Lewis/Robinson) (2:05)
31. Johnny Darling (Statton/Statton) (0:52)
32. No, No Cherry (Ceasar/Gray) (1:26)
33. The Man From Utopia (Woods/Woods) (1:16)
34. Mary Lou (Jessie) (2:14)

1. Little Rubber Girl
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Twenty Years of Frank Zappa (Warts And All)" (12 LP).
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

6. Brown Moses
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit occurs at 2:31. There remains a real live segue from
'Brown Moses' to 'The Evil Prince'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos
Before the beginning of the real solos, you can hear something
you will here again (in an another version) before the beginning
of "Smell My Beard" in this volume. Here what affz said:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
Date: unknown

You guys also spotted the 9 second 'motiv' played by the 73/74
band going 'rdn...rrr-rud-tud-tudn'? It isn't credited as a song,
and it appears twice on volume 4, even between two songs that
aren't even from that period!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
Date: Mon, 13 Mar 1995 14:30:18 MST

I think this was called The Hook, and FZ had the band (in this
case the 73-74 band IMO) cued to do it on a hand signal along
with others we all know and love.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. You Call That Music?
Performed on April, 1969 (corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet)

12. Pound For A Brown Solos
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

13. The Black Page (1984)
Guitar solo is from the Pier, NYC, August 26, 1984 (source:
affz, Pat Buzby).

14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"I think "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" is one of the most
outstandingly absurd things ever to appear on an FZ release".

15. Filthy Habits
album(s) in which song has appeared: "Sleep Dirt" not "Studio
Tan".

16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version)
Wrong date on the booklet: it should have been performed on May
1975 in the "Bongo Fury" concerts.

18. Stevie's Spanking
This version appears in the "Video From Hell" video.
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

The Rome performance wasn't used as a whole. Compared to Video
From Hell version, the vocal section and the first FZ's short
guitar solo is from an unknown performance. At 2:46, when Steve's
solo begins, it is edited to Rome.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. Florentine Pogen
The booklet says that this version is from a '79 concert but the
first part (until 2:16) come from a 1974 concert. Here again what
affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 8 Mar 1995 16:29:46 GMT

My theory is that the first part is from the YCDTOSA 2
Helsinki shows, since Chester's bass drum has that same
staple-gun sound as on those CDs. Just speculation, though.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. Tiny Sick Tears
Here is what Ben Watson wrote in "Frank Zappa The Negative
Dialetics of Poodle Play" (pag. 491):

This is the same routine that Zappa performed at his orchestral
concert at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on 15 May 1970. It rubbishes
Jim Morrison's mythic expansion of Oedipal themes in "The End":
when the protagonist declares "father I want to kill you!" his
father is "beating is meat with a copy of Playboy" and says "not
now son, not now".

F.P.Tullius wrote an article on the 1970 concert entitled "Zubin
and Mothers" published in the April 1971 issue of Playboy (this
article has been posted to a.f.f-z by David L. Windt on May 26,
1995). In this article Tullius transcribed the 1970 routine.

25. Smell My Beard
See also comments to track 10 "Let's Move To Cleveland Solos".

25. Smell My Beard
26. The Booger Man
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

32. No, No Cherry
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit from '84 band to '82 band occurs before the last word
(1:18).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 5 (July 1992, 141:11 min.)
=================================================================

1. The Downtown Talent Scout (4:01)
2. Charles Ives (4:38)
3. Here Lies Love (Martin/Dobard) (2:45)
4. Piano/Drum Duet (1:57)
5. Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat (Mozart) (4:05)
6. Chocolate Halvah (Zappa/George/Estrada) (3:25)
7. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:04)
8. Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme (1:17)
9. The Little March (1:21)
10. Right There (Zappa/Estrada) (5:07)
11. Where Is Johnny Velvet? (0:52)
12. Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke (1:44)
13. Trouble Every Day (4:07)
14. Proto-Minimalism (1:40)
15. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:11)
16. My Head? (Mothers Of Invention) (1:22)
17. Meow (1:24)
18. Baked-Bean Boogie (3:27)
19. Where's Our Equipment? (2:29)
20. F.Z./JCB Drum Duet (4:27)
21. No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve (4:45)
22. A Game Of Cards (Zappa/Sherwood/Tripp/Underwood) (0:46)
23. Underground Freak-Out Music (3:52)
24. German Lunch (Mothers Of Invention) (6:43)
25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (2:12)
26. Easy Meat (7:39)
27. The Dead Girls Of London (Zappa/Shankar) (2:29)
28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously? (1:45)
29. What's New In Baltimore? (5:04)
30. Moggio (2:29)
31. Dancin' Fool (3:13)
32. RDNZL (7:59)
33. Advance Romance (7:01)
34. City Of Tiny Lites (10:38)
35. A Pound For A Brown (On The Bus) (8:39)
36. Doreen (1:59)
37. The Black Page #2 (9:57)
38. Geneva Farewell (1:38)

General note to disc two: Bolzano, an Italian town, is mispelled in the
booklet (it says "Balzano").

14. Proto-Minimalism
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels should be added to the personnel. In 'You Call
That Music' on Vol.4, he is credited as 'guest vibe player'.
However, you can assume the other possiblity that FZ played vibes
on this tune. I think Dave is more likely.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

19. Where's Our Equipment?
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

I guess it is from the same concert as 'Ian Underwood Whips It
Out' on Uncle Meat. Then, the unknown record engineer can be
suspected as 'Mike' (see UM liner notes). (All above is guess
work. Who confirms it?).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. German Lunch
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
In this bootleg "My name is Fritz" is an excerpt from GL.

25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Vitamin Deficiency" (2 LP).

28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously?
Here is the true story of this song:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de (Carl Berger)
Date: 28 Jun 1994 13:15:08 GMT

This is the story of "Shall we take ourselve seriously ?" It
happened at the show in K/"oln, 21st of May 1982. (The same show
where "When no one was no one" and "But who was Fulcanelli" from
the Guitar album were recorded).

This is the preamble to the song by Frank Zappa on that night.

"Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, this is something special. Come up
to the microphone, Peter" (A guy walks onto the stage and
transtalted that stuff into german) "The last time we played here
in Cologne, something happened after the show that was
unbelievable. As you know, there is a company here in the
fatherland, that promotes concerts all over the place. And the
man, who runs this company, his name is Fritz Rau. We have know
Fritz for a long time. But the last time we played here, he put
on a performance, that was incredible. If you can imagine, grown
man, sitting in the box office at 3 o'clock in the morning,
argueing, because the roadies got to eat asparagus. Now, this was
so amazing, that I had to write a song about it. Tonight, Peter
is going to play the featured role of Fritz Rau. Now give'em the
first part of Fritz's big speech."

Peter now gave the audience an imitation of Rau's german
dialect. Pretty funny that was. I transcriped that from a tape
recorded that night. I was 14 years old, standing first row. One
of my first concerst (after Genesis and Supertramp :) The other
guy mentioned in the song, Mike Scheller, is a concert promoter
as well.

Carl
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Part of the May 21, 1982 show (including the premiere recordings
of SWTOS) is available in the "Volare" bootleg.

In his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating The Poodle"
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes) Mike
Keneally give as further details on this song:

[...] the song is about German promoter Fritz Rau's
contention that asparagus should not be offered to just
anyone backstage, causing him to throw some sort of
unseemly fit, which Frank of course immortalized in song.
[...] [the line] "shall we weep in the box-office dawn"
[...] and the falsetto passage that follows is a quote from
the Frankie Valli/Four Seasons song "Dawn"; the line is
"Dawn, go away, I'm no good for you". Get it?

33. Advance Romance
The guitar solo is a different edit of "Jim & Tammy's Upper
Room" from "Guitar". The date for J&TUR was corrected in the
YCDTOSA 2 booklet, so at the end we have: June 31, 1982,
Bordeaux, France. However the booklet of this volume does not
mention this location for any track for the '82 disc two.
Questions, questions, questions ...

37. The Black Page #2
The last part of the solo (from 6:09) has been released also
as "Which One Is It?" on the "Guitar" album. Pat Buzby observes
that presumably the entire track comes from Munich since this
is the location for "Which One Is It?" according to the "Guitar"
liner notes.

And a CC clue from Alek:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: al...@best.com (DownerMan)
Date: 19 Sep 1995

Preamble: did I RTFFAQ? No.

At 2:51 into the tune, in the right channel, begins the
distinctive (one might say monotonous) riff from Ya Hozna, and
it continues pretty much throughout the rest of the song.

[snip]

Mmmm... minutiae...

Alek
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 6 (July 1992, 137:44 min.)
=================================================================

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath (3:01)
2. The Poodle Lecture (5:02)
3. Dirty Love (2:40)
4. Magic Fingers (2:21)
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival (2:44)
6. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:02)
7. Farther O'Blivion (2:22)
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What? (4:03)
9. I'm So Cute (1:39)
10. White Person (2:07)
11. Lonely Person Devices (3:14)
12. Ms. Pinky (2:00)
13. Shove It Right In (6:46)
14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station (2:32)
15. Make A Sex Noise (3:09)
16. Tracy Is A Snob (3:54)
17. I Have Been In You (5:05)
18. Emperor Of Ohio (1:32)
19. Dinah-Moe Humm (3:16)
20. He's So Gay (2:34)
21. Camarillo Brillo (3:10)
22. Muffin Man (2:25)
23. NYC Halloween Audience (0:46)
24. The Illinois Enema Bandit (8:05)
25. Thirteen (Zappa/Shankar) (6:09)
26. Lobster Girl (O'Hearn/Colaiuta/Zappa) (2:21)
27. Black Napkins (5:22)
28. We're Turning Again (4:57)
29. Alien Orifice (4:16)
30. Catholic Girls (4:04)
31. Crew Slut (5:34)
32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:33)
33. Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance (3:47)
34. Lisa's Life Story (Zappa/Popeil) (3:06)
35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando (5:15)
36. 200 Motels Finale (3:43)
37. Strictly Genteel (7:08)

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
Part of the M.O.I. speech included in this track is available
through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik web page

"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"

(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/), here is included with
a little correction by Charles Ulrich <cul...@POMONA.EDU>.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I _(you just fill in the blank)_, do hereby solemnly swear, in
accordance with the regulations of the contract with this here
rock and roll engagement. And The Imbecilic Laws of the State of
Florida, and the respective regulations perpetrated by Red-Necks
Everywhere! Do Hereby Solemnly Swear!, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, TO
REVEAL MY TUBE, WAD, DINGUS, WEE-WEE, AND OR PENIS ANYPLACE ON
THIS STAGE!! THIS Does NOT include Private Showings in the motel
room, however."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. The Poodle Lecture
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What?
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 30, 1977
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed on December
5, 1980 at the Berkeley Community Theatre (source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival
9. I'm So Cute
12. Ms. Pinky
16. Tracy Is A Snob
18. Emperor Of Ohio
Wrong band on the booklet: Vinnie Colaiuta and Arthur Barrow must
be added, Chad Wackerman and Scott Thunes must be removed.

7. Farther O'Blivion
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
These bootlegs contain the complete Nanook thing, really amazing.
Wrong date and band on the booklet. FO'B was performed on 1973
during the Australian summer portion of the 1973 world tour. The
line-up should also be corrected, Napoleon Murphy Brock was in that
band even if he didn't perform in this particular song.
Lastly the name of this song should incorrect. The booklet says
that "Apstrophe(')" was the album in which it has appeared, so the
correct name should be "Father O'Blivion". And here is what affz
says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 1995 11:38:03

I think this song's name is incorrect. "Farther O'Blivion" was an
instrumental tune, typical -73 band sort of BeBop Tango thing.
This song should be called "Father O'Blivion". Don't ask me why
the songs are named this way, I can't see any similarities
between them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. White Person
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Wrong date. Maybe same as The Torture Never Stops on Vol.1.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jon Naurin wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92U...@chestud.chalmers.se (Jon Naurin)
Date: 15 Nov 1995

Finally, I got another tape yesterday that revealed a new error
in the YCDTOSA liner notes:

YCTDOSA 6, disc 1, track 10, "White Person". This is a
performance from Hemmerleinhalle in Neukirchen, NOT Nurnberg.
The date is February 25, 1978, NOT 1977. The musicians are
correct, though all except Zappa should be credited with
vocals.

- Jon
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. Lonely Person Devices
Wrong date, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Should be 3.3.1976. (Also, you can recognize that this vamp is
in the same chord progression as 'Black Napkins' in 4/4. 'Panty
Rap' from Tinsel Town Rebellion is a reggae based on the same
vamp.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 17 Jan 1994 17:11:02 GMT

Bianca Odin. She was with the fall '76 band for a couple of
months and was let go in mid-tour. (Drugs?) This was the same
lineup that later made "Zappa In New York" with the added horns.
BTW, this song (which is the only officially released performance
with Bianca) was actually recorded in late October '76, and
includes Eddie Jobson on keyboards. These omissions are two of
the innumerable errors in the liner info on YCDTOSA 4 and 6.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

15. Make A Sex Noise
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed in
Binghamton on March 17, 1988 (source: affz, see below).

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: z...@maths.tcd.ie (John Walsh)
Date: 21 Apr 1995 14:56:30 +0100

spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby) writes:

>YCDTOSA 6 :

> Make A Sex Noise - FZ says something near the end about finding
> sexy people in Binghamton or something like that. So could this
> be from Binghamton rather than Towson?

Yeah, the date for this recording is also wrong. On the liner
notes the date is 23-March-88 but he makes references to it being
St. Paddy's day (17-March every year) when he invites women of
irish extraction to make a sex noise on stage. I presume this
makes the date for the other song on the cd with the same date
wrong as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

17. I Have Been In You
Here is the what Frank says in the middle of the song
(from 3:01 to 4:22):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
Date: 8 Jun 1993 07:39:46 GMT

You know, I can hardly resist going in you because, ever since
I started writing love songs and everything and... you know, it's
very difficult when you're English not to write a love song
because... What? That's right, if you're English, you _are_
very sensitive. That's one thing I've noticed, being an English
person. In fact, I've been an English person for almost five
minutes during this song and my sensitivity has increased to the
point where... I don't know, maybe it's just all of our
traditions: the tea, Winston Churchill, his large lips and
everything. This kind of stuff, why, you start accumulating all
of this CIVILIZATION behind you, and... you know, what can you
say? If you're English, you're Really Fantastic, aren't you?
So, darling, it should come as absolutely no surprise to you that
I went back to your little teenage room and... climbed on top of
your teenage body and... took all of my English teenage clothes
off and... you know, stuck my little lips up next to your ear and
said "I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU!" But I don't want you to
get it wrong, you know, I don't just come over here and stick it
IN YOU AND IN YOU AND IN YOU because I like you. It's not
because... it's not even physical. I only do it (and remember,
taxes are really bad in England) the only reason I do it is to
sell records, and I hope you'll understand.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. NYC Halloween Audience
37. Strictly Genteel
This really is a completely unuseful comment, a " but what the
fuck" thing! In NYCHA you can can clearly one particular screeming
hard-core fanatic say "Zappaaaaa" or something like that. The same
clear scream once again appears at the end of SG at the end of
this disc. Hence NYCHA comes from the Halloween 1981 concert.

24. The Ellinois Enema Bandit
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

After Ike shouts 'Isn't that amazing?' (6:29), an edit to
'81/'82 band occurs. (Ike disappered, and Steve Vai's guitar and
Ed Mann's marimba come in, and also, the bass is switched to
Mini-Moog bass.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

26. Lobster Girl
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 29, 1978
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

27. Black Napkins
The guitar solo comes from a 1984 concert.
Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels is omitted again. He is inaudible though, should
be added.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

28. We're Turning Again
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"[...] You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

29. Alien Orifice
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
Some comments for these bootlegs from from "alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ,
Bootlegs Information, Part 2 of 2, Version 2.3, September 26, 1994":
"Solo edited on YCDTOSA 6, full length here".
Moreover the ending comes from a 1988 concert. You can hear the best
horn section you never heard in you life.

32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Tiny Nightmares" (2 LP);
"Zurkon Music" (LP);
"Donna You Wanna" (CD).

34. Lisa's Life Story
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Demo's" (LP).
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA (P. Psutka)
Date: 18 Mar 1995 12:08:04 -0500

"Lisa's Life Story" is actually from '81 (and might not have Ike
Willis on it unless he sat in for that show.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando
The double issue 14-15 of Debra Kadabra, the Italian fzine
published by the Italian FZ Research Kitchen also called DK, will
include the true story of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando". Nando is
Fernando ("all my friends they call me DO" ... "Nan-Nan-Nan
DO-DO-DO") Boero, a marine biologyst from Genoa, they Italian
city where the 88 part of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando" was recorded.
Nando wrote for us the story of his friendship with FZ, it's a
very nice story, I hope I'll find someone from affz that will want
to translate it in English. Menwhile here is a rough translation
of the begining of the article:

"There is nothing I'd like better than having a jellyfish named
after me" (FZ).

In 1982, after becoming a researcher in the University of
Genoa, I asked for a work fund that could allow me to be for
a long time in the Bodega Marine Laboratory of the University
of California, Berkeley. The purpose was to study the
taxonomy and the ecology of the local jellyfish fauna (yes,
there exist people who earn a living studing jellyfish).
Actually the true purpose was another one: to meet Frank
Zappa. My strategy was a simple one:

- that fauna was (and is) not well known;
- I would find some new species for sure;
- once I have found them I would have to give them a name;
- I would dedicate one of them to FZ;
- I would tell him about it;
- He would invite me for a visit.

And that's how it went.

[...]

Also, here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"My personal favorite MK contribution to a Zappa CD occurs in
"Lonesome Cowboy Nando", when I attempt to cram the line "I
describe the little dangling utensils on this thing and tell him to
draw it up so that it looks just like a brand new jellyfish" into
the same space where I would normally say "stomp in his face so he
don't move no more". The first time I listened to this song with
Frank, he applauded me after that section. One o' them priceless
moments. You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

Lyrics to this song are available through the Internet from the
Robbert Heederik web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Frank:
My name is Nando,
I'm a marine biologist.
All my friends,
they call me "Doh".

Ike & Mike:
Hi, Doh!

Frank:
All my family,
from someplace in this area,
And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza
during the show.

All:
Come out here, to Californy,
Just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones I seen gets me so horny,
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.
Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay.
I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza,
I know they like me, here's what I'll say:

(1971:)

Jimmy Carl Black:
I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress...

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. A-Ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy:
Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?

Mark & Howard:
Burtram, Burtram redneck!
Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Jimmy:
I'm an awful nice guy.
Worked all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
Quite a bundle I've made,
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.

Mark & Howard:
He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

(1988:)

Ike:
"Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this,
you know what I'm sayin'?"

Frank:
When I get off, I get plastered.
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.
Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
so it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.

Ike & Mike:
(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)

Frank:
"Take that! Take that!"
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin',
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.
I drool on my shorts,
I do some water sports,
Then I take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! "Sorta..."

Ike & Mike:
"Whaddya do?"
Stick it again in the bed!

Frank:
"That's right!

Ike & Mike:
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!

(1971:)

Jimmy:
Lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt.
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress!

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. Yee-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!

Jimmy:
Come on in this place,
an' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?

"Opal, you hot little bitch!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

37. Strictly Genteel
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).

THE END

SPECIAL THANKS to
the next three web-makers:

*Scott Chatfield* <sc...@cts.com>
for his
"Mike Keneally Page"
<http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally.html>

*Robbert Heederik* <heed...@fwi.uva.nl>
for his

"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"

<http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/>

*Marianne Mueller* <m...@eng.sun.com>
for her
"The Black Page!"
<http://www.catalog.com/mrm/zappa.html>

Son of SPECIAL THANKS to
the ugliest part of the body of:

*John Scialli* <sci...@primenet.com>

The return of the son of SPECIAL THANKS to:

*Ale Sordi* & *Debra Kadabra*

_____________________________________________________________________________
Francesco Gentile ______ ZappioLatino
|___| | (a 3 persons hard-core organization)
| / |__| *
|/_____| Debra Kadabra
gent...@xantia.caspur.it |______| (the Italian FZ Research Kitchen)
_____________________________________________________________________________

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