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alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ: Notes and Comments (Part 1 of 9)

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Robbert Heederik

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Dec 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM12/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part1

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

Introduction to ver.2.6

Privet! This FAQ part was originaly conceived as a helpful guide
for novices anf foreigners. But step by step ( comments by comments
in fact :-) as it grew and happily put on weight due to good will and
zeal of FZ fans over the world many compatriots of Mr. Zappa also begun
to feel that it's a useful pile of bytes well suitable for the hard
drives of their home silicon pets.
So it goes and goes and goes.
And there are real chance that we'll end up some day with something
worth to bestow upon next generations and generations of hungry freaks.
- Hey! Bob! Look that's my grandy been wa...@yawaka.mudshark.com
once explained that those mysterious Baby Snakes was nothing more and
nothing less than just tiny zircon-encrusted thing between our sister
Mary legs! Woow!
So you go right way, comrades, - as they used to bark on Communist's Party
Congress of my glorious and warmed by FZ secret words for nights and days
youth!
HOTCHA!

Technical details

From this version on the first digit of a version number is some absurd
sign that just help me to keep track of structural revision of this
document. The next numbers is for all of you and is in fact the number of
albums being commented below, so
ver. 2.6
Is second edition of six albums strong N&C. Also to make your life
easy I decided to put the list of this albums at the head of the doc.
The meaning of chinagraphy +/=/! in this list is very simple and I hope
not so hard to understand :-)))
= ...... no chages since last issue
+ ...... interesting additions
! ...... brand new item
That's almost all for today. As always any suggestion, corrections,
additions will be gratefully accepted by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Introduction to ver.2.16.1

Privet! -) Pronounced preevat and means Hi!
This new dot with digit behind it appeared as a result of a great job
of another great Italian Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>, who
put together for your pleasure the whole lot of YCDTOSA Notes and Comments.
He wanted it to be part of my Siberian N&C collection. So now you have a
little bit of southern sun in this snowy Nanooks doc:-)
It is 16.1 not simple 17 because Francesco also wants to keep on maintainin'
his nice stuff on his own. So no beautiful UNIX shell style there :-) but hope
you enjoy it anyway.
Vladimir

ALBUMS LIST
-----------

1. Lumpy Gravy......................+
2. We're Only In It For The Money...=
3. Uncle Meat ..................... +
4. Burnt Weeny Sandwich ........... =
5. Weasels Ripped My Flesh ........ =
6. Chunga's Revenge ............... =
7. Fillmore East, June 1971 ....... +
8. 200 Motels ..................... =
9. Just Another Band From L.A...... +
10. Grand Wazoo .................... =
11. Over-nite Sensation ............ =
12. Apostrophe ..................... =
13. One Size Fits All .............. +
14. Bongo Fury ..................... +
15. Zoot Allures ................... +
16 Zappa In New York .............. =
17. Studio Tan ..................... =
18. Sheik Yerbouti.................. !
19. Joe's Garage ................... +
20. The Man From Utopia ............ =
21. Broadway The Hard Way ........ ..=
22. YCDTOSA, Vol.I-VI............... =

LUMPY GRAVY
===========

Notes and Comments
ver.27-Sep-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

lyrics from e-vaults of
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>

titles and times from
dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)

special thanks to
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
Mike Lambiaso <71052...@CompuServe.COM>

IS THIS PHASE 2 OF: WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY?

#About the TITLE
#
# From: h...@euronet.nl (Hanzo)
# This is part two of an interview in Melody Maker January fourth 1974
# conducted by PATRICK and BARBARA SALVO transscribed by Hanzo for your
# reading pleasure.
# Q: What is the connotation of -Lumpy Gravy?-
# FZ: You never heard it? It's from a commercial for Aloma Linda Gravy
# Quick, that's where the name came from. I was offered a chance to write for
# a 40 piece orchestra by a producer Nik Venet, who was with Capitol Records
# at the time. It was the first chance I had to get a professional recording
# of my stuff with an orchestra and we did it.
# Then there was a thirteen month litigation that held up the release.

#About Frank's T-shirt mystery
#
# From: gwor...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham ) writes:
# Ok, pony up: I'm pretty sure that in one of the late great issues of
# Society Pages, this was discussed. It appears to be an industrial
# baseball team T-shirt that FZ picked up somewhere. And it would seem
# that it was pronounced pipe-co.
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# I've read that FZ interview too, so I'm with you on this, Gary.
#From Society Pages (US Edition) Issue No. 7, Page 20
# Den Simms: Ok. What was "Pipco"?
# Frank Zappa: Pipco ... it baffled me for a long time. Turns out to
# be a little league shirt from Santa Barbara, a Santa
# Barbara pipe company, I believe.
# DS (laughs): So, maybe it was [pronounced] "Pipe-Co".
# FZ: Yeah.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# That same t-shirt can be seen also on the front cover of WOIIFTM CD
# and on 1966 MOI concert photo ( check D.Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# book pp.78-79 )

Lumpy Gravy, Part One 15:35
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Index Point CD Booklet Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ---------------------- ------------
1. The Way I See It, Barry 1 1 00:00
2. Duodenum 2 2 00:06
3. Oh No 3 3 01:38
4. Bit Of Nostalgia 4 4 03:41
5. It's From Kansas 5 5 05:16
6. Bored Out 90 Over 6 6 05:46
7. Almost Chinese 7 7 06:17
8. Switching Girls 8 8/9/10 06:42
9. Oh No Again
10. At The Gas Station
11. Another Pickup 9 11 11:05
12. I Don't Know If I Can Go 10 12 11:59
Through This Again

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# So, what we see from carrying out this exercise is that Track 1
# has an error in it, 3 index points appear under a single index.
# This should be added to any `error' file that is being kept of
# Zappa releases.
# Having checked the elapsed times under both play and pause
# modes, some of you might find a difference of -1 second for some of
# the indexes, so don't blame me if the times don't exactly match what
# you see on your own player.

4. Bit Of Nostalgia 03:41
-----------------
A bit of nostalgia for the old folks.

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( short hot piece )

# Can anyone identify music? Is it something from Cucamonga years?
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Do you mean the really short piece during Bit Of Nostalgia, or the
# longer piece (the fast old jazz one) during It's From Kansas? Either
# way, neither piece is from Cucamonga Years. (I don't recognise either,
# by the way.)
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# Both, of course :-)))

I'm advocating dark clothes.
If I'm not alone, I wonder if I've been asleep
As long as I have.
Did you ever live in a drum?

# From _Civilization Phaze III_ booklet
#
# In 1967, we spent about four months recording various projects (Uncle
# Meat, We're Only In It For The Money, Ruben and The Jets and Lumpy Gravy)
# at APOSTOLIC STUDIOS, 53 E. 10th ST NYC. One day I decided to stuff a
# pair of U-87's in the piano, cover it with heavy drape, put a sand bug
# on the sustain pedal and invite anybody in the vicinity to stick their
# head inside and remble incoherently about the various topics I would
# suggest to them via talk-back system.
# This set-up remained in the place for several days. During that time,
# many hours of recording was made, most of it useless. Some people who
# took the challenge included Spider Barbour ( leader of the rock group
# _Crysalys_, which was also recording at Apostolic when we weren't booked
# in, All-Night John (the studio manager), Gilly Towney (sister of the
# guy who owned the studio), Monica (the receptionist), Roy Estrada and
# Motorhead Sherwood (members of the _Mothers Of Invention_), Louis
# Cuneo (a guy who used to come to our live shows at the Garrick Theater
# and laugh like a psychotic turkey), and a few others.
# Some of this dialog -- after extensive editing -- found its way into
# the _Lumpy Gravy_ album.

5. It's From Kansas 05:16
----------------

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( fast old jazz )

# Can anyone identify this piece? Was it used for CC somewhere else?
#
# Hope I place it right Brian
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# Another sped-up tune is the unofficially released "Revenge of the Knick
# Knack People" (which can be found, among other places, on Apocrypha). I
# think this song was produced around the same time as Lumpy Gravy, it's too
# bad that RYKO didn't include it on the CD.

6. Bored Out 90 Over 05:46
-----------------

Bored out .90 over with three Stromberg 97's.
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: bcm...@omnifest.uwm.edu (Bill Cmelak)
# Yes, that's right! Hot rod jargon it is. Stromberg 97's were very popular
# carburetors on many old hot rods. I'm not positive, but, I think the yellow
# hotrod coupe in Amerrican Graffiti had 6 of them on the engine. (It has 6 of
# some kind anyway.)
# As for .90 over, that's the amount that combustion cylinders are bored out
# in thousandths of an inch. Either to clean up worn cylinder walls or just to
# enlarge the combustion chamber size to gain more power. Most likely the later
# in this instance.

7. Almost Chinese 06:17
---------------

Good bread, because I was making, ah, two-seventy-one an hour.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#:-) See for details _10. At The Gas Station_

10. At The Gas Station
------------------

I worked in a cheesy newspaper-company for a while,
but that was terrible,
I wasn't making enough money to build anything.

(Louie Louie!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# One of endless references to this pop standard

And he needed a job,
so I gave him a job at the gasstation at which I was fired
because, you know, he was gonna work there.
And he had his car in a rack and he was lubing it
^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# grease rack - lifts the car above ground for working from underneath

Then I went to work in an aircraft-company and ah...
I was building these plans.
I worked on the XB 70.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# This is supposed to be a real monster of supersonic strategic bomber with
# Wagnerian nickname _Valkyrie_. 6 x General Electric XY-93 engines,
# 32 meters width, 56.38 m length and weight 205,000 kg. October 14, 1965
# one of the experimental beastes ( I believe welded by Frank roadie :-) hit
# 3,218 km/h mark on the fantastic altitude - 21,336 km. Despite that never
# was manufactured as mass product B-70 (may be no one could weld it correctly
# because, you know, Sherwood have found another job :-)))

I was the last welder on there, but it was pretty good bread
because I was makin' ah 2.71 an hour,
^^^^^^^
makin' a hundred and a quarter a week,

#:-)) Here is it! Details you desperately need in _7. Almost Chinese_

So I got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds,
but I was going with this chick at that time,
and by the time I got the Olds running decently,
she went out and tore up the engine and the trans and,
^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# trans = transmission

11. Another Pickup 11:05
--------------

////^^^/////^^^^/////^^^^////// sped up piece of music

# From: fne...@aol.com (Fnerdd)
# Back in the days of vinyl I had a record player that would play at 16RPM,
# half the speed of a 33RPM LP. I played some of Lumpy Gravy's sped-up parts
# on it, and it sounded just like regular traditional jazz.
# Also were all the funny little snorks and coughs, which sounded like
# regular folk snortin' & coughin' at half-speed.

12. I Don't Know If I Can Go Through This Again 11:59
--------------------------------------------

All right!
I don't know if I can go through this again.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Make sure this doesn't come across as someone saying "All right!" as in
# "everything's great." I think it's the conductor saying "All right" as in
# "we'll do another take now," and the unidentified player says "Ohhhh"
# before "I don't know...."

13.08
^^^^^/////^^^^^/////^^^^^/////
13.45

# That beautiful piece of serious music can be found between 1.48 and 2.25
# seconds of WOIIFTM track _Mother People_ too. (Times from old Zappa Records
# WOIIFTM/LG CD ZAP 13)

Lumpy Gravy, Part Two 15:42
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ------------
1. Very Distraughtening 1 00:00
2. White Ugliness 2 01:33
3. Amen 3 03:55
4. Just One More Time 4 05:28
5. A Vicious Circle 5 06:26
6. King Kong 6 07:38
7. Drums Are Too Noisy 7 08:21
8. Kangaroos 8 09:19
9. Envelops The Bath Tub 9 10:16
10. Take Your Clothes Off 10 13:58

1. Very Distraughtening 00:00
--------------------

Ah, there it is again.
It's a little pig with wings.
I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It's very distraughtening.

# Here is what was said about LG dialogs in CPIII booklet.
#
# "Because all the dialog had been recorded in (to borrow a phrase from
# _Evelyn, A Modified Dog_) "pan-chromatic resonance and other highly
# ambient domains", it was not always possible to make certain edits
# sound convincingly, since the ambience would vanish disturbingly
# at the edit point. This severely limited my ability to creat the illusion
# that various groups of speakers, recorded on different days, were
# talking to each other. As a result, what emerged from texts was a vague
# plot regarding pigs and ponies, threatening the lives of the characters
# who inhabit a large piano.
#
#CC
# And about subjects on _This is All Wrong_ of CPIII
#
# MOON: This is all wrong. This is all wrong.
# F.Z.: The pigs run the city, the ponies run the TV station and you wanted
# to apply for a job.

Everything in the universe is, is, is made of one element,
which is a note, a single note.
Atoms are really vibrations, you know.
Which are extensions of the BIG NOTE, everything's one note.
Everything, even the ponies.
The note, however, is the ultimate power,
but see the pigs don't know that,
the ponies don't know that.

# From: s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)
# Date: Mon, 01 Aug 94 18:27:47 GMT
# Yesterday, I was doing a bit of channel hopping with my tv when I bumped
# into a German guy ( a doctor) named Hans Jenny (I think it was Hans
# anyway). This program amazed me, since mr. Jenny did some experiments with
# 'soundscopes' or something in his spare time. He would unleash some sound
# of a certain frequency on different kinds of material, like sand, water,
# sault, crystals or whatever. He found out some pretty amazing stuff, like
# the patterns were often 5-pointed stars (like many flowers and even cells)
# or resembled certain shells you can find at the beach, or even made
# swirling patterns that resemble galaxies! (BTW, he resented to these
# comparisances (sp.??) since they weren't really scientific, but what the
# hell). He (like Frank did) pointed out the possibility that the universe
# began with one SOUND (aka THE BIG NOTE) rather then THE BIG BANG. I wonder
# if Frank ever heard of this guy and his experiments. Anway, it made me
# realize once again that Frank was much much more than just a composer/
# musician. It's a way of live...
#
# From: eri...@lunatix.icce.rug.nl (Erik-Jan Vens)
# Funny, I've also seen this program. But it didn't hit me at that time. Now
# it does, because I know so much more now.
# According to mystics the basic sound of the universe is denoted by /Om/,
# the first word of the Tibetan mantra: /Om Mani Padme Hum/: "the sound of
# silence, the diamond in the lotus".
# It is this sound which emerges when the energy of life is experienced. It
# is an experience which cannot be experienced by simply repeating the mantra,
# but which comes all by itself from your consciousness of the energy of
# existence.
#
# From: konr...@netcom.com (Konrad)
# If a BIG BANG isn't a sound then i don't know what we're talking about
# here.
# And there are other mystics who believe that this basic sound is "ahh."
# (This is true)
# And then there are those who think that it was this argument between
# whether "ohh" or "ahh" is the basic sound of the Universe that actually
# caused the big bang which created the Universe.
# (This is also true, in a way)
#
# Vladimir The Editor Note :-)))
# I sincerly believe that although the absurd ideas discussed above seem
# to be just casual coincidence here they are still are part of
# intercontinental absurd project/object relations Frank tried to
# trace all his life :-)))

You mean just we know that?

RIGHT!

Merry-go-round, Merry-go-round,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
tu-tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# The CPIII edition of this cut (see below) don't seem to confirm my
# impression but this line suspectably points to Larry _Wild Man_ Fischer
# infamous classic track Merry-Go-Round from 1970 (1968) Bizarre 6332
# _An Evening with Wild Man Fischer_
# Can anyone provide lyrics of that Larry hit?
# BTW,
# May be it was just standard paste time cliche ditty in early 60th L.A.?
#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# I don't think that Larry's song was popular. It's probably included
# because Frank liked it. Merry-go-round is a carousel ride for children, and
# is a euphemism used by Larry to mean "the bump and grind", "the buff 'till
# ya shine", "the tube snake boogie".

And they call that doing their thing.
Oh yeah? That's what doing your thing is!
The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

#CC
# Another edition of what obviously was the same original dialog can be
# heard on _This Is Phaze III_ track of CPIII
#
# SPIDER: Right, man... and all it was like people sitting in doorways
# freakin out tourists going " Merry Go Round, Merry Go Round,
# Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do!" and they called that "doing their
# thing."
# JOHN: Oh yeah, that's what doing your thing is!
# SPIDER: The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

2. White Ugliness 01:33
--------------

Arf arf arf!

#CC
# It seems to be first appearance of Fido :-)))

Ponies...if, if, if...
Was it white? 're you sure?...it wasn't white,
I mean uh...black, uh...
But I was too scared to notice their physical...
...gold or something...
...I was too, I was too scared to no-no-no-notice their physical,
ah, appearance, 'cause they...they...they were attackin' me!
They were?
They were attackin' me.
What were they doin' to you?
They were, they were, they were come and surrounding me
and attackin' me and I had to fight back and fight,
fight and fight back and pick up sticks.
Pick up sticks?
Yes, pick up sticks.
I used to play that game, Pick Up Sticks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Me too, did you ever play that game?

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Pick Up Sticks (or Pick-A-Stick) is a very simple game, making use of
# a number of thin wooden sticks, rather like giant cocktail sticks. You
# gather the sticks together in your hand, hold them vertically on some
# surface (floor/table), and let them go. Generally, they fall in a heap,
# with sticks overlapping other sticks. The object of the exercise is to use
# another stick (which sometimes has a small groove cut in it to aid the
# picking of sticks) to slowly, and carefully dislodge sticks from the jumbled
# pile. If you remove a stick *without* moving any other stick, you continue
# on picking sticks. As soon as you move one, it becomes your opponent's
# turn (more than 2 people can play). The person with the most sticks at the
# end is the winner.

Ha Ha Ha!
We'll hope for the best.
Ha Ha Ha!

(Alfred Motorhead).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Seems to be just rhyming joke.
# The guy's real name is Euclid James 'Motorhead' Sherwood
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# that isn't right, but it's hard to hear... something like "I'll pray for
# us Motorhead"

Now I lay me down to sleep.
Amen!

3. Amen 03:55
----

4. Just One More Time 05:28
------------------

I think I can explain about how the pigs music works.
Well, this should be interesting.
....

#CC
# Discussion from here to the final phrase
#
Yeah, it's a vicious circle, you got it!
#
# Reappeared with colorful details on CPIII track _How The Pig' Music Works_.

Any sort of motion has its effect on, on the pony's manes.
You know, the thing on their neck.
Hmm...
As soon as the pony's manes starts to get good in the back
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Really funny pan on hippies emotions expressed in WOIIFTM _Who Needs
# The Peace Corps?_
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya Frisco!
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Also remember that long hair gathered at the back of the head is usually
# termed a `pony-tail.' Many hippies were wearing their hair that way in the
# Sixties.

6. King Kong 07:38
---------

#CC
# Try _Uncle Meat_ album (side 4/CD 2) for the theme full-blown.

10. Take Your Clothes Off 13:58
---------------------
#CC
# Check WOIIFTM _Take Your Clothes Off Then You Dance_ for funny and
# viciously flower-power-sucks lyrics.

WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY
==============================

Notes and Comments
ver.27-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

words from CD booklet

special thanks for
whispering, whistles and
censored stuff to
Robbert Heederick <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
and
ba...@irt.com (Don Baake(VAX))

Who Needs The Peace Corps?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# The Peace Corps was a highly-touted "alternative service" program pitched
# to young folks who might not be ready to get a job immediately. It was
# introduced by Pres. Kennedy. Young college-age people were recruited to go
# to poorer, mostly "third world" countries, to help them with medical needs,
# school or road or sewer construction, teaching English, things like that.
# They lived with the folks for about two years, mostly in the "native"
# manner. The song is saying, "That's just more cop-out - forget it and be a
# hippie." Of course, it's _lampooning_ that idea, not preaching it.

Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig & sleep
^^^^^^^^^
# Was there really such inpatient guys that couldn't wait for they own
# hair to grow?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Yes, but also with a wig they can easily remove it and be normal again.
# It's just a temporary fashion thing.

On Owsley's floor
^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# As far as I know Augustus Owsley was drop out chemist and famouse
# manufacturer of very pure and strong LSD. For more reference see
# Tom Wolfe _Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test_ book.

Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO

I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# The center of the hippie movement was the Haight-Ashbury area of San
# Francisco, near the corner of Haight St. and Ashbury St.

I will wonder around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye all the time
I will love every one

* I will love the police as they kick the shit * Censored out on
* out of me on the streets * the original vinyl

# From: krf...@mmm.com (Kerry R. Field)
# The last line is _not_ censored on the original vinyl I have.
#
# From: wpma...@tx.ncsu.edu (Bill Madden)
# Mine is V6 5045X
# Okay, here is some more catalyst. Collectors will pay 3 times as much,
# up to $500 for a near mint copy of WOIIFTM that has the line:
# "I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me" deleted from the
# song "Who Needs the Peace Corps"
# This was a late edited version and went out as V6-5045 as well.
# My copy does not have this, and I have listened carefully.
#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# We seem to be talking about two different levels of censorship. I
# specified in my post that I was referring to the version of Money with no
# publicity "balling," no "flower power sucks," no "I still remember Mama
# with her apron and her pad, feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe," etc. This
# is the first pressing, with the matrix number MGS-1250-REV. Zappa got all
# those sequences restored for the second pressing, which has the matrix
# number MGS-1250-REV-F. (Zappa explains the circumstances in The Real
# Frank Zappa Book.) So the CD is NOT the censored version in this sense.
# However, all vinyl editions have "Harry You're A Beast" and "Mother
# People" censored, and the new CD DOES repeat this censorship.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# There's the "very censored" version that is quite rare - I've never seen a
# vinyl copy of it. The restored CD is the "slightly censored" version, and
# is the same as every vinyl copy I have heard. I never liked that extra
# verse on Mother People anyway. The meter doesn't quite fit with it's
# counterpart earlier in the song. Two many syllables are squozen in. Plus
# you can find decent live bootlegs with Flo and Eddie singing the extra
# verse.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# OK, this is an official FAQ editor statetment :-) I have no vinyl too.
# All censored stuff I found comparing old Ryko CD with the tape that was
# made for me long time ago by Bill Madden. So see his comments above for
# the details of that very rare but REAL release.

I will sleep, I will go to a house
Where there's a rock'n'roll band

And I will stay with them
And I will get the crabs
But I want care
* Because... * Edited out on
* the original vinyl

Concentration Moon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMERICAN WAY
How did it start?
Thousands of creeps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Killed in the park

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# It wasn't Kent State because that happened in 1970 or 1971, and WOIIFTM
# was recorded in 1967/8. There was another shooting previous to Kent
# State, and this is the one that Zappa refers to, but I can't remember the
# incident.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# I don't think the song refers to an actual incident. Frank was carrying
# the hostility between hippies (or, in L.A., freaks) and the police to what
# was for him the logical end. It just so happened that within a couple of
# years, it started coming true.

SUDDENLY: DIE DIE
COP KILL A CREEP! pow pow pow
Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa...Creation
And the day after that...
And the day after that...
Also at the same time I get a work with Velvet Undeground
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
* which is as shitty group * Censored out on
* as Frank Zappa's group * the original vinyl

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)
# I don't know that they *didn't* get along, but if it's true, it's quite
# possibly due to Frank's intolerance of substance abusers. Mr. Reed was
# once booed off the stage in Cleveland because he was too drunk to perform.
# Even though it happened 20 years ago, it's still a local legend in the
# Northeastern Ohio area.
#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)
# I read once that Lou Reed had called Frank "An Untalented Asshole". On
# WOIIFTM, the comment about the Velvet Underground is being made by the
# recording engineer (whose name I can't think of), who happened to be
# working on both the Mother's and The Velvet's albums at the same time.
# Both the MOI and the VU were stablemates at MGM/Verve in those days,
# and if you look at the release numbers on the spine of the records, you
# will see that they are similar.
#
# From: spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU
# The engineer on WOIIFTM is Gary Kellgren. Tom Wilson was the producer
# for the first couple of MOI albums and also produced the first VU album, I
# believe.
# As for Zappa vs. Reed, there is a long anti-Zappa diatribe from Reed
# sometime in the 60's quoted in the VU biography "Up-Tight." Apparently
# Zappa, in turn, made nasty comments about VU during some concerts from
# those days. Ironic that both Zappa and Reed were embraced as heroes by
# Vaclav Havel.
#
# From LP liners notes
# GARY KELLGREN (picture in badge on cut-out page), engineer for
# two months of basic sessions at MAYFAIR STUDIOS is the one
# doing all the creepy whispering.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Also, at the same time, I get to work with the Velvet Underground, which
# is as shitty a group as Frank Zappa's group."
# Spoken by recording engineer Gary Kellgren, and no doubt reflecting his
# true personal opinion. ("Kellgren, who cordially despises Zappa's music..."
# from Walley's book, paraphrased from memory) Included by Frank as being
# suitably irreverent.
#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# I'm not sure of the origin of this animosity, but first became aware of
# it when leafing through a book of rock 'n roll quotes. There was one
# from Lou Reed about playing the theatre in London where Zappa had been
# pitched into the orchestra pit 1971 and how much pleasure he got
# thinking about that.
# Another good quote in that book was about Lou Reed. I can't remember
# the source, but that person said that it was about a decade between good
# Lou Reed songs.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Over the years I've seen lots of quotes from Lou Reed slagging off FZ
# in a big way, but I've never heard any negative stuff back from FZ about
# Lou Reed. In fact, in 1982 when he did his special dee-jay slot on Radio 1
# (UK) he played 'All tomorrow's parties' from the first VU album,...er.....
# whatever that tells us.
#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# From Miles' Visual Documentary:
# 3-29 May (1966)
# Double bill opening for Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable with the
# Velvet Underground and Nico at The Trip, Los Angeles. The hometown crowd
# naturally cheered The Mothers and booed the Velvets whose sombre black New
# York outfits didn't fit in with the garish Californian Freaks. The Byrds,
# Jim Morrison (still at UCLA Film School at the time) Sonny & Cher and Mama
# Cass were all in the audience for the opening night. Lou Reed developed a
# seething hatred for Zappa: "He's probably the single most untalented person
# I've heard in my life. He's two-bit, pretentious, academic, and he can't
# play rock 'n' roll, because he's a loser. And that's why he dresses up
# funny. He's not happy with himself and I think he's right." [Reed]
# This is because Zappa would make fun of the Velvets as part of his stage
# rap... "These guys really suck!"
# It's hard to imagine how the Velvets and The Mothers could have shared the
# bill for the whole month without violence occurring. It was perhaps
# fortunate that the Sheriff's office closed down the club on the third day
# of the engagement. However, the Warhol gang and The Mothers played one more
# gig together:
#
# 28-29 May
# Fillmore Auditorium, San Francisco. The opening audition band (who didn't
# get paid) was The Jefferson Airplane.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Apparently, if I remember correctly, FZ and Herb Cohen supposedly blocked
# the release of 'The Velvet Underground and Nico' until after 'Freak Out'
# came out, so that the latter would be forever remembered as the first
# 'weird' album to be released. Sounds totally preposterous doesn't it, but
# is there any truth in it?
#
# From: roto...@cats.ucsc.edu (Alexander Shane Dickey)
# Actually, in "Up-Tight:The Velvet Underground Story" it all but says that.
# It definitely alludes to the fact that Lou was pissed that Verve was
# releasing "Freak Out" first. This could be Lou's side of the argument. As
# for Frank, I just think he thought the VU sucked.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# It's interesting also to note that when FZ was poshumously inducted to
# Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame ( Jan, 1995 ) it was Lou Reed who did the honors
# and said how much he missed Zappa's integrity and his firebrand politics.
# And even as cited by John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk> said
# "I respected Frank Zappa, and I know that he respected me"
# And Frank's daughter Moon in her turn started the acceptence speech
# by this words ( johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli) transription )
# "This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that."
#
# From: Cliff Heller <fn...@panix.com>
# Vlad, just one quick comment
# You devoted a lot of time to the FZ/Lou Reed controversy, but I don't think
# it's fair to end with this anecdote without including Gails commentary on
# the whole Hall of Fame thing. From her comments, and what I know about the
# industry, Lou and Moons on-stage comments were just show-business
# nicey-nicey between people that hate each other.
# The choice of Lou to induct Frank was a great insult to the Zappa family.
# Gail said, among other thing "Lou never had a nice thing to say about
# Frank".
# Also include that quite some time before the Hall of Fame induction Ahmet
# led audiences at Z shows in loud chants of "Fuck Lou Reed!" (At least he
# did this in New York, I can only presume he did so elsewhere - unless the
# fact that it was Reed's home town made it special).
# Unfortunately, I don't have the text of the Gail quotes, but I suspect
# they are available somewhere. Feel free to include any of these comments
# in upcoming revisions of this Notes & Comments.
# It seems like a lot of space to devote to the FZ/LR stuff, but this might
# be the best place to include it, if it isn't documented elsewhere.
#

# Thank you, Cliff, for a great suggestion. Here is it straight from our
# fabulous Dr. John.
#
# From: sci...@primenet.com (John V. Scialli)
#
# Text of Lou Reed Introductory Speech, Rock and Roll Hall of
# Fame (2:17 min)
#
#
# It's very rare in life to know someone who affects things; changes
# them in a positive way. I've been lucky enough to have known
# some in my life: Andy Warhol, Doc Pomus. People whose
# vision and integrity was such that it moved the world a bit. People
# who, through the articulation of their talents and intelligence, were
# able to leave things better than they had found them. People who
# were not only not in it for the money, to paraphrase Frank Zappa.
# Frank Zappa was such a person and of the many regrets I have in
# life, not knowing him a lot better is one of them.
# Whether writing symphonies, satirical broadsides or casting a
# caustic glow across the frontier of madness that makes up the
# American political landscape; whether testifying before Congress
# to put the PMRC in its rightful lowly place, or acting as a cultural
# conduit for President Vaclav Havel and the Czech government,
# Frank was a force for reason and honesty in the business
# deficient in those areas. As we reward some with money for the
# amusement they supply to the cultural masses, I think the
# induction of Frank Zappa in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
# distinguishes the Hall as well as the inductee. [applause]
# Musicians usually cannot speak. That's why they communicate
# through their instruments. But Frank was one who could. And
# because music is pure, the musician is pure as well and when
# Frank spoke he demonstrated the power of purity. Who will do
# that now? I admired Frank greatly and I know he admired me. It
# gives me great pleasure to give this award to his daughter, Moon
# Zappa.
#
#
#
# Text of Moon Zappa's Acceptance Speech (1:44 min)
#
#
# This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that.
#
# I'm a little dyslexic and earlier I freed my ass.(*) I'm hoping my
# mind will follow. [sigh, sniff] [Applause] Um, thank you and, uhh, I
# know you know I had said that this is the year of the end of the
# bullshit promises and I am really sorry that my father missed that.
# And, um, uhh, I've almost, almost, forgiven the Wait Staff here
# because my heart is open from watching all of this. [gestures
# towards the screen on which Zappa montage had been shown]
# and it's very odd to be back there [backstage] before you come
# up because you actually hear the command given but I just want
# to say that this really belongs to his, his fans and um, music really
# is a language and I think that some languages are easy to
# understand than others. I don't think it's any accident that the
# Slavic countries really appreciated my father the most because it's
# really hard to get the accents down and everything. And, um, I
# just really want to say thank you and I think that he would really
# have enjoyed this. Thank you.
#
# (*) From: met...@pablo.physics.lsa.umich.edu (Chris Metzler)
# Sure. It's a musical joke. It refers to the classic George Clinton /
# Funkadelic album, "Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow." Funkadelic
# was way cool.
# Moon is saying that she's dyslexic and did it in the wrong order. Why?
# I don't know. But I'm sure that's what it's a reference to.
#
#
# Here's Gail's interview comments:
#
# Slightly edited by the Freditor of T'mershi Duween:
#
# ZAPPA & THE ROCK UNROLLED HALL OF FARCE
#
# "Ten days before the actual ceremony," says Gail Zappa, "we still hadn't
# received invitations. The producer said, 'Oh that's unconscionable! We can
# give you two free tickets.' Well, there's _five_ of us of course. He said,
# 'Well, we can sell you additional tickets at fifteen hundred dollars a
# piece, but you can't sit together.' I just laughed. Moon had expressed an
# interest in going, so we decided she'd accept the award. A week before the
# ceremony, they called me and said Edward Van Halen -who would have been
# perfect - had turned down their offer to induct Frank because he doesn't do
# these things. So I suggested Johnny "guitar' Watson whom Frank knew, loved
# and had worked with. They said 'No.' I won't say why because I don't want to
# hurt Johnny, but I did tell them that Johnny was one of the most lucid and
# articulate people I'd ever heard interviewed. I suggested Aerosmith, but was
# told they were going to induct Led Zeppelin. So I suggested Led Zeppelin.
# Again they said no. I asked them who chooses these
# things and was told 'The Board.' I asked if there were any musicians on the
# board, and more importantly are there any black musicians. They had to call
# me back and they replied 'Yes one: Berry Gordy.'
# "They then said 'We've invited Lou Reed to do it.' I was laughing. It was
# just _so_ ironic. I said I'd talk to my kids and they were against it; they
# believed Lou had millions of chances to make up with Frank. So Lou called. I
# told him 'Listen, you said lots of shitty things about Frank.' We discussed
# it and he finally said 'If I said anything flip that was _meant_ to be
# funny, I'm sorry.' Actually Frank admired him as a songwriter; 'Femme
# Fatale' and 'All Tomorrow's Parties' were two of Frank's favorites.
# "We asked for a car to take Moon to the ceremony. The producer told Moon
# that I said she'd be giving clearance to use the Frank footage on MTV which
# was totally not true! He said 'That's OK, the show's running long, so we'll
# just cut Frank.' Moon called him back and made him apologize for making her
# father sound insignificant. A limo did take her to the show, but there was
# no-one to pick her up afterwards! I have this vision of her standing in the
# rain, flagging down a cab with the award in her hand...
# "I watched the broadcast and they didn't play any of his music, although
# they played at least one song by every other artist. And then I heard Joe
# Perry say that Led Zeppelin has asked Aerosmith to induct them months
# before, so how come we only got word a week before? This is a man who went
# to Capitol Hill for these people! When Moon said Frank would have enjoyed
# it, she meant the musicians. As Lou said, it honored the Hall to induct
# Frank and not the other way round. It was stupid, insensitive and just
# thoughtless."

AMERICAN WAY
Threatened by US
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Kerry R. Field" <krf...@mmm.com>
# I think back to the Vietnam war protests I experienced. Anytime the
# police or National Guard clubbed and arrested people they were handcuffed
# and dragged to a bus for transport to the police station for processing.
# What was always ironic to me is that it was usually a yellow school bus,
# The same vehicle that transported most of us to and from our formal
# education. I also believe FZ capitalized US to state that the American
# Way was threatened from within, but us from the US of A.

Drag a few creeps
^^^^^^^^^^
Away in a bus

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
# The other thing to remember is the difference between "freaks" and
# "hippies." It's a bit like the difference between "punk" and "new wave"
# was in the early eighties, or the difference between some soup kitchens for
# winos and a multimillion-dollar Homelessness Industry. Freaks were
# basically a bunch of dissatisfied reasonably young people, sometimes
# imaginative, sometimes angry, sometimes destructive, and sometimes stupid.
# Hippiedom was built supposedly on the foundation of freak culture but was
# really Big Business. When most of the album was recorded, the scales were
# still pointing toward freaks. When it was released, it was Hippiedom all
# the way.
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I remember reading in some FZ related material (maybe The Real FZ Book?)
# that it was a reference to the fact that after the "real" freak scene had
# started, it was promptly glommed onto by tourists (speaking
# metaphorically, i.e. folks that had found an exciting new trend to
# emulate).
# Getting back to the original thread - I think the songs in question are
# referring to "creeps" rather than "freaks" (e.g. "Cop kill a creep - pow
# pow pow"). I think this sort of makes sense, in that "freaks" seems to
# encompass more sociological ground than "creeps," the latter referring
# more to appearance than other matters - and "creeps" being a group that
# could be victimized on more superficial grounds by those not interested in
# looking further.

Bow Tie Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...operator?
phone for a minute, please...
Hello?
...yes sir...
Ah, can you call six seven eight nine eight six six
...
Yes
Right
Is that Vickie?
^^^^^^^
He's gonna bump you off the ass

# OK, it's silly question, but as far as liners notes point to Pamela
# Zarubica
# SUZY CREAMCHEESE: Telephone
# may be someone happen to know who the hell was Vickie The Pam friend
# in trouble?

Harry, You're a Beast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MADGE, I WANT YOUR BODY!
HARRY, GET BACK!
MADGE, IT'S NOT MERELY
PHYSICAL!
HARRY, YOU'RE A BEAST!
* Don't come in me in me * Censored out on
* Don't come in me in me * the original vinyl
* Don't come in me in me *
MADGE... I COULDN'T HELP IT
.../... DOGGONE IT!

Absolutely Free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't do publicity balling for you anymore...

# This is a voice of Cheese, aka Pamela Zarubica

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And paste them in

# From: Chris Boosalis <boos...@asu.edu>
# Look, Frank had a habit of making fun of cheepnis -- truly cheap
# American culture. The stamps he's referring to are the S and H green
# stamps we used to receive from the gas stations and stores. The stamps
# were green and had a red S and H on them. We would then lick them, and
# paste them in these little S and H green stamp booklets, like amateur
# stamp collectors. After filling up about 5 - 5,000,000 books (each book
# held about 100 - 150 stamps) we would take them to the local S and H
# green stamp store, and BUY stuff with the books. For 30 books, you could
# get a cheap radio, and for 300 books, you could get a crappy ten-speed bike.
# It was an amazing marketing venture, held by the major oil and food
# companies here in the states: people would only go to the stores and buy
# gas from the places where they could "earn" a cheap premium (those stupid
# stamps, and that shitty merchandise).
# That is what he's peeing on, my friend, and not anything else.

DISCORPORATE
And we will begin...

* WAH WAH! * Censored out on
* Flower Power sucks! * the original vinyl

UNBIND YOUR MIND
THERE IS NO TIME
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From _Dictionary of American Slang_ H. Wentworth & S.B. Flexner
#
# boing boing-boing - exclam. An expression of apprectiation or
# acknowledgement of and toward a sexually attractive girl or young
# woman
# Is there any pan on the name of Boeing aircraft manufacturers?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Bizarre. I think there's much too much being read into what is basically
# a nonsense sound. A spring makes the same sound. It does have a comical
# connotation of "popping a boner". I would state with nearly 100% certainty
# that it has nothing to do with Boeing.

Flower Punk
~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a
psychedelic band.

# Hey Joe ( Jimi Hendrix version )
# --------
#
# Hey, Joe, uh, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# Hey, Joe, I said, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# I'm going down to shot my old lady
# You know, I caught her messin' around with another man, yeah.
#
# From: lsee...@oregon.uoregon.edu (Luke Mitchell Seemann)
# I'm assuming that Flower punk came after [ Jimi Hendrix' ] Hey joe and is
# a righteous parody.
#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Flower Punk was released in 68, and Hendrix released Hey Joe in '67.
# However, Hey Joe is not a Hendrix tune. It was released sometimes earlier
# by a group I cannot remember at the time.
# Yes [ it's parody ], but if I remember it correctly, Flower Punk is a lot
# closer to the original version of Hey Joe than the much cooler Hendrix
# version.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# "Hey Joe" is credited to Billy Roberts on the Hendrix vinyl which (I
# think) came out in '67. Deep Purple covered it in '68. I don't have the
# Billy Roberts publishing date. I don't even know if he was a recording
# artist.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# Some albums credit "Hey Joe" to Billy Roberts, and others credit it to
# Chet (or Chester) Powers. Chet Powers wrote "Get Together", which was
# recorded by the Youngbloods and countless other bands. Under his real
# name, Dino Valente, he released one solo album and was lead vocalist
# with the Quicksilver Messenger Service (when he wasn't in prison for
# possession of drugs).
# Does anyone know who Billy Roberts was? Who ripped off whom here?
#
# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>
# Somewhere I read once that Billy Roberts, Chet Powers, Jesse Oris Farrow,
# and Dino Valenti were all the same person. I don't know about Billy
# Roberts, for sure, but the other three names refer to the very same
# person, who was the lead singer for Quicksilver, when the lead singer
# sounded suspiciously like Johnny Rivers.
#
# From: dm...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jeffrey M. Gold)
# I think that the first group to record Hey Joe was The Leaves. Probably
# an early 1960's recording.
#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)
# Hey Joe, by the Leaves: charted July 1966 for 9 weeks, on Mira 222.
# (personally favor, as parodies/tributes, the duwops, as on Cruisin')
#
# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)
# Jim Pons (ex-Mothers, ex-Turtles) was a member of a mid-60s band called
# the Leaves who had a minor hit called 'Hey Joe". Small world.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play
^^^^^^^
my bongos in the dirt.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Love-in": 1960s hippie happening wherein they sat around, got stoned,
# and let it all hang out, so to speak. [ Was there any fun in it? ] Sure,
# if you were stoned enough. Implication here is that that resultant bongo
# playing was just amateurish banging.

(Just at this moment, the 2700
microgram dose of STP ingested by
^^^
FLOWER PUNK shortly before the

# Once again the Dictionary of American Slang
#
# STP n. A synthetic drug ( 2-5 methoxy-4-methylamphetamine ) which in
# large doses, produces hallucinogenic effects of long duration. The
# initials properly stand for Serenity, Tranquillity and Peace.
# Was it really popular time wastin' substance then?
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# For a while, with some folks, but as I remember it was dangerous, leading
# to psychotic episodes. One of the first manifestations of the whole hippie
# thing going really sour.
#
# From David G. Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# pp.125-126
# "Anyone who depended on street dealers was taking his life in his hands -
# something touted as LSD could just as easy be combination of methedrine,
# stychnine, horse tranquilazer, or even STP, a governement-developed
# hallucinogen for chemical warfare that produced several hallucinations,
# paranoia, and depressionlasting up to three days."

Golly, do I ever have a lot of soul?
I think I love you!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# This is a line from "Wild Thing", a hit for the Troggs.

Questi dominga?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>
# ... "questi" is italian and means "these", "dominga" is not italian (
# "domenica" is the italian for "sunday") but I think "domingo" is the
# spanish for "sunday". So "dominga" is a kind of mix!

I could barely even play the
changes to this song on my, on
my guitar
But now I'm very professional
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I can play the guitar

#CC
# I'm professional. I can do everything.
#
# the basic expression of Jimmy Carl Black's character in 200 Motels movie

I will say: "Hello Dolly!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# Any link to old jazz standard?

And I will walk
I will walk up to her and I
will smile at her
And I will impress her and I
will say: "Hello, baby,
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# _Fillmore East_ album. _What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are_ song
#
# What's s girl like you
# Doin' in a place like this?
#
# I left my place after midnight
# And I came to this hall
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I don't think this is CC. "What's a girl like you" etc. is a standard,
# cliche pick-up line used to strike up conversation with a member of the
# opposite camp in a bar.

Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beautiful!
God! It's God!
I see God!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# I believe it was Stan Ivester who once said that here we have
# the critical point mentioned in liners note
#
# ERIC CLAPTON (noted philosopher & guitarist
# with THE CREAM) has graciously consented to
# speak to you in several critical areas.
#

/\/|/\/|/\| a few bars of surf tune /\/|/\/|/\|
/\/|/\/|/\| goes there /\/|/\/|/\|

#CC
# From: Don White <whi...@hccs.cc.tx.us>
# The song in question is called "Heavies" by The Rotations. It was one
# of the singles produced by FZ during the Studio Z days in Cucumonga.
#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)
# get Cucamonga Years
# cut 10 Heavies (1964) THE ROTATIONS

Let's Make The Water Turn Black
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now believe me when I tell you that my
song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# There was an explanation of Let's Make The Water Turn Black in Rolling
# Stone of August 27th, 1987, where We're Only In It... was named one of the
# best 100 albums of the last 20 years:
#
# In addition to lambasting hippie culture, Zappa also sought to immortalize
# some of his more bizarre childhood acquaintances -- in particular, two
# brothers named Kenny and Ronnie, who featured in the song "Let's Make the
# Water Turn Black.''
# "Ronnie had been busted for bootlegging," says Zappa. "He used to make
# raisin wine and sell it to kids in junior high school. Ronnie saved snot on
# a window in his room. He had gotten into this syndrome of flipping boogers.
# One day his mother went in there and started howling because she couldn't
# see through the window -- it was all green. They had to use chisels and
# Ajax to scrape the stuff off. This is absolutely true."
# Kenny, the other brother, lived in a garage in back of the house with
# Mothers sax man and roadie Jim "Motorhead" Sherwood. Since there was no
# plumbing in the garage, they began urinating in some Mason jars Kenny's
# mother kept for canning, then in the earthenware crocks that Ronnie had
# used to concoct his raisin wine. They covered the crocks with a board.
# "One day," says Zappa, "just out of curiosity, Kenny lifted the board to
# see how the whiz was doing, and there were these >things< swimming in it --
# like some mutant tadpoles that had been brewing in there. The father found
# out and made them flush it all down the toilet. So whatever was living in
# the jars is now probably eleven feet long and living in the sewer system in
# California."
# And the song's concluding line, "Wait till the fire turns green"?
# "When they weren't pissing in jars and saving their snot on the windows,"
# says Zappa, "they were lighting each other's farts. So there it is. It's
# like a folk song."

Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps & chairs to San Ber'dino squares
* And I still remember Mama with her * Censored out on
* apron & her pad * the original vinyl
* Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe! *

(Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away!)
^^^^^
# From: John Wittenberg <jo...@cruzio.com>
# 'Poots' are more commonly called 'farts', and are reputed to produce a
# green flame when ignited.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# The process known as pyroflatulation.
#
# From: Greg...@LFGMS.logica.com (Martin Gregorie)
# Fartuous info: They burn with a nice orange flame, but are difficult to
# light unless you use a diffusor (ie underpants) . This also prevents brush
# fires starting in tender places!

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
^^^^^^
# Seems to be something you could drag out of your nose :-)
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Right - boogers.

Whizzing & pasting & pooting through the day...
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)
# Whizzing = pissing.
# Pasting = interesting mucus experiments.

Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
# I strongly suspect that _Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance_ was a
# parody at first place. Not in general sense, but in particular :-)
# Look what I found in _Viva Zappa!_ concerning FZ covering by some
# obscure band named Gruppo Sportivo
# "... Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance ( Zappa) who himself
# re- used a theme from the Drifters _True Love/True Love_ ( Pomus/Shuman )"

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go
^^^^^^^^^^^
stretch-elastic pants...

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Neither trade name or pun, but reference to the "scene" where you find
# this kind of clothing. It was often called "mod," here meaning simply
# "modern", [not as formal as the English "mod" style]. Go-go's were the
# 1960s version of disco.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Making fun of hipster advertising lingo of the day.

#CC
# This same tune became the final part of _Lumpy Gravy_
# a BALLET which probably don't make it :-)))))))

Mother People
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person
* Better take a look before you say * Censored out on
* you don't care, shut your * the original vinyl
* fucking mouth about the length of my hair, *
* how would you survive *
* if you were alive, shitty little person *

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Dec 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM12/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part9

| part 9 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

==================
The YCDTOSA series
==================

mantained by

Francesco Gentile
gent...@xantia.caspur.it

ver 2.4
17 December 1995

This FAQ file was initially called "Cruising with YCDTOSA". Then I
submitted it to the attention of the FAQ series mantainers (Robbert
Hedderik and Vladimir Sovetov) and after a separate issue in the
series, we decided to add it to Notes & Comments sub-series mantained
by Vladimir.

This document is an attempt to gather what the Internet & affz
(including me even if I don't use to post often) said and will say
about YCDTOSA. Presumed errors, notes, comments, lyrics etc. Some of
them are due to "The Secret Lab of Dr.Including" and have been
published in the vols. 29 and 30 of The Black Page magazine (thanks to
Remco Takken who has posted these Dr.Including studies). For the sake
of brevity this last source will be quoted as "[BP]" throughout the
document.

Due to technical problems, sometimes I lost a lot of affz posts. So,
if you have comments please mail them to me also. Lastly, please correct
my english!

2.3 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(3, 16); (4, 6); (4, 18); (4, 32); (5, 14); (5, 19); (6, 10); (6, 11);
(6, 24); (6, 27). All these comments are due to Tan Mitsugu.

2.4 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(1,2); (1,14); (5,37); (6,10); (6,35).

Finally, this document is dedicated to all FZ addict who "listen so
carefully to every little detail".

Current version includes contributions of:

Carl Berger <ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de>
Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
Scott Chatfield, Mike Keneally <sc...@cts.com>
Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Brian Downing <br...@dsm.fordham.edu>
Alek 'DownerMan' <al...@best.com>
Cory Ferber <cmf...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu>
Dianne Hackborn <hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU>
Martin Jenkins <x...@cix.compulink.co.uk>
MHB <M...@mitvma.mit.edu>
Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
Jon Naurin <92u...@chestud.chalmers.se>
Dave Perry <d...@hydra.carleton.ca>
P. Psutka <u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA>
Ola Rinta-Koski <o...@vipunen.hut.fi>
Rob Sweet <sw...@skat.usc.edu)
Remco Takken <s060...@let.rug.nl>
Tan Mitsugu <a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp>
Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
John Walsh <z...@maths.tcd.ie>
David L. Windt <wi...@nanook.div111.att.com>

ok, let's go ...

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 1 (May 1988, 137:34 min.)
================================================================

1. The Florida Airport Tape (1:04)
2. Once Upon A Time (4:38)
3. Sofa #1 (2:53)
4. The Mammy Anthem (5:41)
5. You Didn't Try To Call Me (3:39)
6. Diseases Of The Band (2:22)
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:44)
8. Let's Make The Water Turn Black/
Harry, You're A Beast/
The Orange County Lumber Truck (3:28)
9. The Groupie Routine (5:41)
10. Ruthie-Ruthie (Brock/Berry) (2:57)
11. Babbette (3:36)
12. I'm The Slime (3:13)
13. Big Swifty (8:47)
14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow (20:16)
15. Plastic People (Zappa/Berry) (4:39)
16. The Torture Never Stops (15:48)
17. Fine Girl (2:55)
18. Zomby Woof (5:39)
19. Sweet Leilani (Owens) (2:39)
20. Oh No (4:34)
21. Be In My Video (3:30)
22. The Deathless Horsie (5:29)
23. The Dangerous Kitchen (1:50)
24. Dumb All Over (4:20)
25. Heavenly Bank Account (4:06)
26. Suicide Chump (4:56)
27. Tell Me You Love Me (2:09)
28. Sofa #2 (3:01)

1. The Florida Airport Tape
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on April, 1970
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet). The band listed performed
in Miami on April, 1970 (I don't know the day).

2. Once Upon A Time
lyrics (the first part is due to me, the second to Brian Downing,
both have been refurbished with the help of the Robbert Heederik
vault of files):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Bolman

oh, thank you Frank
and don't misspell it, that's not Marc Bolan that's Mark Volman
#### #####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
Date: 20 Apr 1995 18:56:54 GMT

Bolan. Mark Bolan was the singer/guitarist of T. Rex. Mark
Volman (and Howard Kaylan, of course) sang back-up on many T.
Rex songs, including the hit "Bang a Gong (Get It On)". (That's
why it sounded so authentic when Flo & Eddie did an excerpt
from this song on one of their albums.)
---------------------------------------------------------------

Hiya friends
I wanna welcome each and everyone of you
I wanna say to you tonight
I feel great
I mean, I feel great
everywhere I go people are always comin' up to me
and they say Mark, Mark, Mark
#### #### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

"Mark, Mark, Mark" - Volman sounds like he's barking here

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mark are you kiddin'
lemme tell you this friends:
I am not kiddin'
I mean, I am portly and I am maroon
well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am?

aaaah
I can't guess what you are

well, then I'll give you some clues
and the first clue is
I am portly
does that help?

not much
no, I don't know who you are

Okay, I got one
clue number two:
I am double knit
###### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: M...@mitvma.mit.edu
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 95 14:37:50 EDT

I betcha that's "double knit," which was the technique used to
weave the stretchable polyester fabrics that comprised leisure
suits in the '70s, which was the subject under discussion in
"Eddie Are You Kidding?" and, presumably, this song as well.
---------------------------------------------------------------
does that help?

no, not much
Whaddya mean?

well, then I've to give you one more clue
I know this is gonna give it away
and I hate like damn to tell you this
but clue number three:

---------------------------------------------
the following was posted to affz:
From: br...@dsm.fordham.edu (Brian Downing)
Date: Sat, 27 Feb 1993 18:14:13 GMT
---------------------------------------------

Ich bin Maroon!

Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa!

once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Volman ...

thank you Frank

... trying to convince each and every member
of this extremely hip audience here tonight,
that he was nothing more, nothing less
than a fat maroon sofa,
suspended in the midst of a great emptiness
a light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)

And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord
and he took, he took a look at the sofa,
and he said to himself
"Quite an attractive sofa"
"This sofa could be commercial"

With a few more Margaritas and the right company

However, I digress
"What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G'
#######
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

[...] really should be "The Big 'G'", you know, as in God.

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
and so in order to make this construction project possible,
he summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,
and, by means of a cute little song in the German language
(which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business)
the Good Lord went something like this:
(take it away Jim Pons!)

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

and of course ladies and gentlemen that means:
"give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"
and sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
as far as vision permits,
stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis
and the Lord put aside his huge cigar
and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa
the bulk of his message
with the assistance of a small electric clarinet
and it went something like this...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. Once Upon A Time
3. Sofa #1
These two songs were the first two parts of a big piece, that we
may call "The Big Sofa", that The Mothers used to perform in the
"Flo & Eddie Era". A good take of the whole thing can be heard in
the Rhino officialized boot "Fire!". It consists of: "Once Upon A
Time I", "Sofa #1" (these ones), "Once Upon A Time II" (a quick
reprise of OUAT I), "Stick It Out" and "Divan" (Zappa named the
last part of "The Big Sofa" in "Playground Psychotics" (disc 1,
track 13)). This version of "Stick It Out" is still officially
unreleased (April, 1995).

4. The Mammy Anthem
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 14, 1982.
[BP]: solo is shortened, original title was "Born To Suck".

5. You Didn't Try To Call Me
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Things Wayne Newton Never Told You" (LP),
"Songs Einstein, Jr Never Heard" (CD),
"Erdbeben in Munchen" (CD),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).

6. Diseases Of The Band
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Wrong band on the booklet: Ike Willis must be added to the line-up
listed (FZ presents IW in DOTB).

9. The Groupie Routine
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 7, 1971
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
The "Freak me out Frank, Freak me out" bit at the beginning appears
also on the "Remington Electric Razor" vynil bootleg. This intro is
not mentioned in the booklet but I don't think it comes from the
"Ruthie-Ruthie" tape.

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
11. Babbette
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
Wrong band and imprecise date on the booklet: Ike Willis must be
added to the line-up listed, for the date [BP] so speaks:
a) Don't eat the Yellow Snow: Feb 19
b) Nanook rubs it: Feb 18 first show (poem parts)
Feb 19 (religion rap)
first part misses a poem recited by Warren
c) St Alphonzo's to Rollo Feb 18 first show
Some YCDTOSA series poetry Conceptual Continuity/Statistical
Density clues (see also "King Kong" from "YCDTOSA 3").

Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 21 Aug 1995

Anyway, I've found another piece of information on YCDTOSA
Vol.1. It's not my own finding, though. It's from Society
Pages #7. I've read the lyrics of Vol.1, and this reading
reminded me of an article which was in the 'DIDJA KNOW...'
column of SP #7. It says:

> DIDJA KNOW the origin of that twisted poem ("Alone in the
> hissing laboratory of his wishes...etc.") that Frank recites
> during the "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow" suite from YCDTOSA,
> VOL.1? It comes from "Under Milk Wood", a poem by Dylan
> Thomas. Since Frank misquotes the middle part of the poem,
> dropping a few words, it would seem that he must have been
> reciting it from memory.

I tried to check it by going to my university's library. Then
I did find the quoted paragragh. Here's the original:

Alone in the hissing laboratory of his wishes,
Mr Pugh minces among bad vats and jeroboams,
tiptoes through spinneys of murdering herbs,
agony dancing in his crucibles, and mixes
especially for Mrs Pugh a venomous porridge
unknown to toxicologists which will scald and
viper through her until her ears fall off like figs,
her toes grow big and black as balloons,
and steam comes screaming out of her navel.

Source: Society Pages #7, p.52.
Dylan Thomas, "Under Milk Wood", J.M.Dent & Sons Ltd.,
London, 1954, p.63.

It's interesting that while FZ himself said 'reading a book
make me sleep', he did remember Dylan Thomas's poetry. The
result of higher education?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

16. The Torture Never Stops
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on Febrauary 25, 1978
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

21. Be In My Video
The song is preceeded by a short 1970 chat in wich Aynsley Dumbar
seems to negotiate a "knob-job" with a girl who wants to go to
Orlando (thanks to Mike Keneally for having recognized the magic
two-words word "knob-job" in his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating
The Poodle" (http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes)).
This version appears in the "Does Humor Belong in Music?" video.

21. Be In My Video
22. The Deathless Horsie
23. The Dangerous Kitchen
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on August 26, 1984
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

22. The Deathless Horsie
[BP]: solo is shortened.

24. Dumb All Over
25. Heavenly Bank Account
26. Suicide Chump
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
[BP]: on both DAO and SC one solo is missing.

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 2 (October 1988, 116:42 min.)
====================================================================

1. Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme) (2:48)
2. Stinkfoot (4:18)
3. Inca Roads (10:54)
4. RDNZL (8:43)
5. Village Of The Sun (4:33)
6. Echidna's Arf (Of You) (3:30)
7. Don't You Ever Wash That Thing? (4:56)
8. Pygmy Twylyte (8:22)
9. Room Service (6:22)
10. The Idiot Bastard Son (2:39)
11. Cheepnis (4:28)
12. Approximate (8:11)
13. Dupree's Paradise (23:59)
14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango) (Mononen) (3:51)
15. T'Mershi Duween (1:31)
16. The Dog Breath Variations (1:38)
17. Uncle Meat (2:28)
18. Building A Girl (1:00)
19. Montana (Whipping Floss) (10:15)
20. Big Swifty (2:16)

General notes on the bass drum sound:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (Remco Takken)
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 1994 22:55:36 GMT

Well, you just can't believe anything you see and hear, can you
(sorry for the Hendrix quote on alt.fan.Frank Zappa). Ruben & the
Jets never mentioned any overdubs on the cd... YCDTOSA #2 believe it
or not, has the bass drum of Chad Wackerman on it. The original
Chester notes were put on harddisc, and from there the new bass drum
sound was triggered. It's still Chester's playing, with a new sound
attached to it. I heard this information from an extreme Zappa freak
and sound specialist called Nick Roovers (still a chance that I
fucked up his information, blame me in that case). I happen to like
this sound a lot, especially on headphones, check out the other
Chester Thompson passages on other YCDTOSA volumes. You can now
recognise Thompson for a sound he never heard himself, because Chad
Wackerman never played that way...
---------------------------------------------------------------------

There are only other two tracks from this band on the series: "Smell
My Beard" and "The Booger Man" both from YCDTOSA 4. The Gorilla bass
drum sounds different in these two, more natural to me also.

3. Inca Roads
The guitar solo for this version has been used, with a different
edit, for the "One Size Fits All" version of IR (see the OSFA
liner notes).

12. Approximate
The "so modern way number 3 'with the feet' " way to perform
this song is visually very "exhilarating". I highly recommend
the "Dub Room Special" video for a complete amusement with
another version of this song from an LA 1974 concert.

14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
Lyrics to this song and a nice photo strictly connected with
it are available through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik
web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/).
The photo is a JPEG file
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.jpg)
and is described in
http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.txt.
Here is the description:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The photograph was taken at the Kulttuuritalo (Culture house)
concert hall in Helsinki on September 22, 1974. The persons are
Ruth Underwood, Chester Thompson, Matti Koskiala, George Duke,
Tom Fowler and Frank Zappa. Matti Koskiala, a veteran Finnish
drummer and percussionist, is teaching the band to play a Finnish
tango, Satumaa.

I scanned the picture from the July 1991 issue of "Muusikko", the
Finnish musicians union magazine. I didn't ask their or Mr.
Koskiala's permission.

The Finnish RSO plays at the same hall. I am proud to have played
percussion with them on this very same stage, conducted by Ingo
Metzmacher, who has recorded an excellent CD of Conlon
Nancarrow's studies with Ensemble Modern.

Matti Sunell
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the lyrics:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Aavan meren tuolla puolen jossakin on maa,
missa onnen kaukorantaan laine liplattaa.
Missa kukat kauneimmat luo aina loistettaan,
siella huolet huomisen voi jaada unholaan.

Oi jospa kerran sinne satumaahan kayda vois,
niin sielta koskaan lahtisi en linnun lailla pois.
Vaan siivetanna en voi lentaa vanki olen maan,
vain aatoksin mi kauas entaa sinne kayda saan.

Lenna laulu sinne missa siintaa satumaa,
sinne missa oma armain mua odottaa.
Lenna laulu sinne lailla linnun liitavan.
Kerro etta aatoksissain on vain yksin han.

Oi jospa kerran...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

And the first two verses translate as follows:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: o...@vipunen.hut.fi (sir Ola Rinta-Koski)
Date: 8 Jul 92 12:32:22

There's a land beyond the vast sea
where waves wash on the shores of happiness
where beautiful flowers always blossom
where worries of tomorrow can be forgotten

Oh if once I could go to that fairytale land
never would I leave from there like a bird
but without wings I cannot fly, I'm a prisoner of ground
only in thoughts that reach so far can I ever there be

I don't believe an 'official' translation exists...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 (November 1989, 135:03 min.)
=====================================================================

1. Sharleena (8:54)
2. Bamboozled By Love (6:06)
3. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (2:52)
4. Advance Romance (1984) (6:56)
5. Bobby Brown Goes Down (2:44)
6. Keep It Greasey (3:30)
7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:16)
8. In France (3:01)
9. Drowning Witch (9:22)
10. Ride My Face To Chicago (4:22)
11. Carol, You Fool (4:06)
12. Chana In De Bushwop (Zappa/Diva Zappa) (4:52)
13. Joe's Carage (2:20)
14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? (3:06)
15. Dickie's Such An Asshole (10:08)
16. Hands With A Hammer (Bozzio) (3:18)
17. Zoot Allures (6:09)
18. Society Pages (2:33)
19. I'm A Beautiful Guy (1:55)
20. Beauty Knows No Pain (2:55)
21. Charlie's Enormous Mouth (3:40)
22. Cocaine Decisions (3:14)
23. Nig Biz (4:59)
24. King Kong (24:32)
25. Cosmik Debris (5:13)

1. Sharleena
This version was also released (a different edit 6:47 long) as
a flexi-disc by the "Guitar Player" Magazine (Sound Page #28)
on January 1987.
[BP]: announcement, guitar duet & ending are shortened.

2. Bamboozled By Love
[BP]: Chicago, Bismarck Theatre (November 23 1984, 2nd show).
Guitar solo is shortened.

4. Advance Romance (1984)
[BP]: 00:00 Chicago '84
01:03 Vancouver, Queen Elisabeth Theatre
(December 18, 1984, 2nd show)
02:31 Chicago '84
Front part of guitar solo is missing.

6. Keep It Greasey
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 2nd show)
01:21 NYC, The Pier (August 26, 1984)
01:48 Seattle
03:23 NYC.

7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
[BP]: 00:00 NYC (August 26, 1984)
00:56 NYC (August 25, 1984)

8. In France
[BP]: guitar solo is missing, harmonica solo is shortened.

9. Drowning Witch
Here is the true, complex story of this version according to [BP]:
00:00 Bolzano, Campo Comunale (July 3, 1982)
00:35 unknown 1984
01:57 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
02:28 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:40 Bolzano '82
03:42 Chicago '84 (1st show)

14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
In the liner notes FZ tells us a story about the December 15
Salt Lake City concert, so the SLC references in the first part
of this version can't belong to the November 23 Chicago concert.
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 1st show)
01:50 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:37 unknown 1884

15. Dickie's Such An Asshole
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
DSAA is named "Tricky Dicky" on this bootleg and has the George
Duke solo cut out.
[BP]: front part is missing.

16. Hands With A Hammer
17. Zoot Allures
Bootleg(s) in which these versions (until 2:24 in ZA) have appeared:
"The Eyes Of Osaka" (2 CD)
"Strange Habits" (2 CD).
These two bootlegs have a different cover but are identical.
That band used the drum solo in HWAH as an intro to ZA, in
this version, according to [BP], is shortened. Also, HWAH and the
first part of ZA come from Osaka (Febraury 3, 1976 (source: affz,
Pat Buzby)), not from Tokio. Lastly, according to [BP], part two
of ZA (from 2:24) has been recorded on May 30, 1982.
Moreover Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

At 1:11, during Terry's drum solo, you can hear someone (maybe
Roy Estrada) shouting, something like 'Kinishinai!'. It is a
Japanese word which means 'don't worry about it', although Roy's
intonation is far different from ordinary Japanese, no Japanese
considered it as 'our language'. Interesting that the same word
is also heard on the outro of 'Dancin' Fool' (the background
vocal of FZ chating).
Source: 'ZAPPA!' (1992 Guitar&Keyboard Player special issue,
p.87).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
The Palermo riot. Here is a translation for the Italian you
can hear in this track, MB is Massimo Bassoli (see also notes
& comments to "Uncle Meat"):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
min. voice text (#) notes
TRANSLATION

1:55 FZ massimo come here

1:58 FZ bring the band on down behind me boys

2:02 MB ragazzi per favore,
zappa vorrebbe dirvi di stare calmi,
di non gettare niente nello stadio(1)
e di non ... avere problemi con la polizia.
cercate di stare calmi.
non sappiamo esattamente cosa sta succedendo
pero' cercate di mantenere la calma
cosi' si puo' andare avanti con lo spettacolo.
PLEASE GUYS,
ZAPPA WOULD TELL YOU TO BE CALM,
TO NOT THROW ANYTHING INTO THE STADIUM,
AND TO NOT ... HAVE TROUBLES WITH THE POLICE.
TRY TO BE CALM.
WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING
BUT TRY TO KEEP CALM
SO THAT THE SHOW CAN GO ON

2:56 FZ seduti per favore
PLEASE SEAT DOWN

3:01 GUY1 ma che e'?
(2) WHAT'S UP?

3:03 GUY2 hanno rotto, hanno rotto sta porta qui no(4) ...
(3) hanno rotto sta porta qui
perche' veniva in campo
allora siccome la polizia si e'...(5)
con(6) la porta aperta
non voleva entrasse tutta la gente. Capito?
THEY HAVE BROKEN, THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
BECAUSE OPENS TO THE FIELD
THEN SINCE THE POLICE IS ...
WITH THE DOOR OPENED
THEY DIN'T WANT ALL PEOPLE IN. UNDERSTAND?

NOTES

(1) I may be wrong but I suspect MB would say stage
instead of stadium but he was a little bit confused.

(2) Left channel.

(3) Center, then left channel.

(4) "no" means no! But you can't translate it in this
context. Maybe an attempt would be "RIGHT?".

(5) Something strange here happens: I think there is an
edit or a strange mix of the spoken parts. What i notice
is that the words before the note sign (5) do not match
with the following.

(6) Here you can hear FZ saying "nig biz"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
[BP]: 00:00 unknown 1984
00:0? into Chicago '84 (1st show)
00:49 Palermo, Stadio Comunale (July 14, 1982).

23. Nig Biz
[BP]: opening part is shortened.

24. King Kong
Wrong 1971 venue on the booklet: the concert was performed at the
Rainbow Theater.
Some "Thing Fish"/"YCDTOSA series" poetry Conceptual
Continuity/Statistical Density clues.

In "The Massive Improve'lence" (from "Thing Fish") at 2:09 Bob
Harris sings:

I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A BURRO
IN THE FROSTY LIGHT!

In this track at 13:50 Tommy Mars sings exactly the same verses
in a Yellow Snow 79 ("YCDTOSA 1") live poetry fashion.
Is there any reason for this?

Moreover at 14:34, during the 82' section, *DENNY WALLEY* says
"oh you want kinder garden!". Yes DW, in 1982!
What really happen is that at 11:09 in "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow"
("YCDTOSA 1") DW says "oh you want kinder garden" and this little
fragment was inserted in "King Kong" ("YCDTOSA 3") at 14:34.
Lastly, according to [BP], these are the edits:
00:00 Metz '82
05:01 London '71 (Sax & guitar solo are shortened)
12:13 London, Hammersmith Odeon (June 19, 1982, 2nd show)
(Keyboard solo & 'Garden' rap are shortened)
14:34 London '79 (see above)
14:35 Metz '82
18:02 unknown, maybe Dijon 1982
23:30 unknown 1982.

25. Cosmik Debris
[BP]: 00:00 unknown '84
00:30 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
01:36 Portland, Arlene Schwitzer Theatre (December 20, 1984)
03:12 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
03:25 Portland '84
04:04 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
04:19 unknown 1984

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 4 (June 1991, 133:59 min.)
=================================================================

1. Little Rubber Girl (Zappa/Walley) (2:57)
2. Stick Together (2:04)
3. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (3:20)
4. Willie The Pimp (2:07)
5. Montana (5:43)
6. Brown Moses (2:38)
7. The Evil Prince (7:13)
8. Approximate (1:49)
9. Love Of My Life (Collins/Zappa) (1:58)
10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos (1984) (7:11)
11. You Call That Music? (4:07)
12. Pound For A Brown Solos (1978) (6:30)
13. The Black Page (1984) (5:15)
14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game (Norworth/Von Tilzer) (3:02)
15. Filthy Habits (5:40)
16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version) (9:15)
17. Church Chat (2:00)
18. Stevie's Spanking (10:51)
19. Outside Now (6:10)
20. Disco Boy (3:00)
21. Teen-Age Wind (1:54)
22. Truck Driver Divorce (4:47)
23. Florentine Pogen (5:10)
24. Tiny Sick Tears (4:30)
25. Smell My Beard (Duke/Zappa) (4:30)
26. The Booger Man (Duke/Brock/Zappa) (2:47)
27. Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (6:28)
28. Are You Upset? (1:29)
29. Little Girl Of Mine (Levy/Cox) (1:41)
30. The Closer You Are (Lewis/Robinson) (2:05)
31. Johnny Darling (Statton/Statton) (0:52)
32. No, No Cherry (Ceasar/Gray) (1:26)
33. The Man From Utopia (Woods/Woods) (1:16)
34. Mary Lou (Jessie) (2:14)

1. Little Rubber Girl
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Twenty Years of Frank Zappa (Warts And All)" (12 LP).
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

6. Brown Moses
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit occurs at 2:31. There remains a real live segue from
'Brown Moses' to 'The Evil Prince'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos
Before the beginning of the real solos, you can hear something
you will here again (in an another version) before the beginning
of "Smell My Beard" in this volume. Here what affz said:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
Date: unknown

You guys also spotted the 9 second 'motiv' played by the 73/74
band going 'rdn...rrr-rud-tud-tudn'? It isn't credited as a song,
and it appears twice on volume 4, even between two songs that
aren't even from that period!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
Date: Mon, 13 Mar 1995 14:30:18 MST

I think this was called The Hook, and FZ had the band (in this
case the 73-74 band IMO) cued to do it on a hand signal along
with others we all know and love.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. You Call That Music?
Performed on April, 1969 (corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet)

12. Pound For A Brown Solos
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

13. The Black Page (1984)
Guitar solo is from the Pier, NYC, August 26, 1984 (source:
affz, Pat Buzby).

14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"I think "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" is one of the most
outstandingly absurd things ever to appear on an FZ release".

15. Filthy Habits
album(s) in which song has appeared: "Sleep Dirt" not "Studio
Tan".

16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version)
Wrong date on the booklet: it should have been performed on May
1975 in the "Bongo Fury" concerts.

18. Stevie's Spanking
This version appears in the "Video From Hell" video.
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

The Rome performance wasn't used as a whole. Compared to Video
From Hell version, the vocal section and the first FZ's short
guitar solo is from an unknown performance. At 2:46, when Steve's
solo begins, it is edited to Rome.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. Florentine Pogen
The booklet says that this version is from a '79 concert but the
first part (until 2:16) come from a 1974 concert. Here again what
affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 8 Mar 1995 16:29:46 GMT

My theory is that the first part is from the YCDTOSA 2
Helsinki shows, since Chester's bass drum has that same
staple-gun sound as on those CDs. Just speculation, though.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. Tiny Sick Tears
Here is what Ben Watson wrote in "Frank Zappa The Negative
Dialetics of Poodle Play" (pag. 491):

This is the same routine that Zappa performed at his orchestral
concert at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on 15 May 1970. It rubbishes
Jim Morrison's mythic expansion of Oedipal themes in "The End":
when the protagonist declares "father I want to kill you!" his
father is "beating is meat with a copy of Playboy" and says "not
now son, not now".

F.P.Tullius wrote an article on the 1970 concert entitled "Zubin
and Mothers" published in the April 1971 issue of Playboy (this
article has been posted to a.f.f-z by David L. Windt on May 26,
1995). In this article Tullius transcribed the 1970 routine.

25. Smell My Beard
See also comments to track 10 "Let's Move To Cleveland Solos".

25. Smell My Beard
26. The Booger Man
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

32. No, No Cherry
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit from '84 band to '82 band occurs before the last word
(1:18).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 5 (July 1992, 141:11 min.)
=================================================================

1. The Downtown Talent Scout (4:01)
2. Charles Ives (4:38)
3. Here Lies Love (Martin/Dobard) (2:45)
4. Piano/Drum Duet (1:57)
5. Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat (Mozart) (4:05)
6. Chocolate Halvah (Zappa/George/Estrada) (3:25)
7. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:04)
8. Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme (1:17)
9. The Little March (1:21)
10. Right There (Zappa/Estrada) (5:07)
11. Where Is Johnny Velvet? (0:52)
12. Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke (1:44)
13. Trouble Every Day (4:07)
14. Proto-Minimalism (1:40)
15. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:11)
16. My Head? (Mothers Of Invention) (1:22)
17. Meow (1:24)
18. Baked-Bean Boogie (3:27)
19. Where's Our Equipment? (2:29)
20. F.Z./JCB Drum Duet (4:27)
21. No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve (4:45)
22. A Game Of Cards (Zappa/Sherwood/Tripp/Underwood) (0:46)
23. Underground Freak-Out Music (3:52)
24. German Lunch (Mothers Of Invention) (6:43)
25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (2:12)
26. Easy Meat (7:39)
27. The Dead Girls Of London (Zappa/Shankar) (2:29)
28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously? (1:45)
29. What's New In Baltimore? (5:04)
30. Moggio (2:29)
31. Dancin' Fool (3:13)
32. RDNZL (7:59)
33. Advance Romance (7:01)
34. City Of Tiny Lites (10:38)
35. A Pound For A Brown (On The Bus) (8:39)
36. Doreen (1:59)
37. The Black Page #2 (9:57)
38. Geneva Farewell (1:38)

General note to disc two: Bolzano, an Italian town, is mispelled in the
booklet (it says "Balzano").

14. Proto-Minimalism
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels should be added to the personnel. In 'You Call
That Music' on Vol.4, he is credited as 'guest vibe player'.
However, you can assume the other possiblity that FZ played vibes
on this tune. I think Dave is more likely.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

19. Where's Our Equipment?
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

I guess it is from the same concert as 'Ian Underwood Whips It
Out' on Uncle Meat. Then, the unknown record engineer can be
suspected as 'Mike' (see UM liner notes). (All above is guess
work. Who confirms it?).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. German Lunch
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
In this bootleg "My name is Fritz" is an excerpt from GL.

25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Vitamin Deficiency" (2 LP).

28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously?
Here is the true story of this song:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de (Carl Berger)
Date: 28 Jun 1994 13:15:08 GMT

This is the story of "Shall we take ourselve seriously ?" It
happened at the show in K/"oln, 21st of May 1982. (The same show
where "When no one was no one" and "But who was Fulcanelli" from
the Guitar album were recorded).

This is the preamble to the song by Frank Zappa on that night.

"Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, this is something special. Come up
to the microphone, Peter" (A guy walks onto the stage and
transtalted that stuff into german) "The last time we played here
in Cologne, something happened after the show that was
unbelievable. As you know, there is a company here in the
fatherland, that promotes concerts all over the place. And the
man, who runs this company, his name is Fritz Rau. We have know
Fritz for a long time. But the last time we played here, he put
on a performance, that was incredible. If you can imagine, grown
man, sitting in the box office at 3 o'clock in the morning,
argueing, because the roadies got to eat asparagus. Now, this was
so amazing, that I had to write a song about it. Tonight, Peter
is going to play the featured role of Fritz Rau. Now give'em the
first part of Fritz's big speech."

Peter now gave the audience an imitation of Rau's german
dialect. Pretty funny that was. I transcriped that from a tape
recorded that night. I was 14 years old, standing first row. One
of my first concerst (after Genesis and Supertramp :) The other
guy mentioned in the song, Mike Scheller, is a concert promoter
as well.

Carl
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Part of the May 21, 1982 show (including the premiere recordings
of SWTOS) is available in the "Volare" bootleg.

In his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating The Poodle"
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes) Mike
Keneally give as further details on this song:

[...] the song is about German promoter Fritz Rau's
contention that asparagus should not be offered to just
anyone backstage, causing him to throw some sort of
unseemly fit, which Frank of course immortalized in song.
[...] [the line] "shall we weep in the box-office dawn"
[...] and the falsetto passage that follows is a quote from
the Frankie Valli/Four Seasons song "Dawn"; the line is
"Dawn, go away, I'm no good for you". Get it?

33. Advance Romance
The guitar solo is a different edit of "Jim & Tammy's Upper
Room" from "Guitar". The date for J&TUR was corrected in the
YCDTOSA 2 booklet, so at the end we have: June 31, 1982,
Bordeaux, France. However the booklet of this volume does not
mention this location for any track for the '82 disc two.
Questions, questions, questions ...

37. The Black Page #2
The last part of the solo (from 6:09) has been released also
as "Which One Is It?" on the "Guitar" album. Pat Buzby observes
that presumably the entire track comes from Munich since this
is the location for "Which One Is It?" according to the "Guitar"
liner notes.

And a CC clue from Alek:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: al...@best.com (DownerMan)
Date: 19 Sep 1995

Preamble: did I RTFFAQ? No.

At 2:51 into the tune, in the right channel, begins the
distinctive (one might say monotonous) riff from Ya Hozna, and
it continues pretty much throughout the rest of the song.

[snip]

Mmmm... minutiae...

Alek
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 6 (July 1992, 137:44 min.)
=================================================================

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath (3:01)
2. The Poodle Lecture (5:02)
3. Dirty Love (2:40)
4. Magic Fingers (2:21)
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival (2:44)
6. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:02)
7. Farther O'Blivion (2:22)
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What? (4:03)
9. I'm So Cute (1:39)
10. White Person (2:07)
11. Lonely Person Devices (3:14)
12. Ms. Pinky (2:00)
13. Shove It Right In (6:46)
14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station (2:32)
15. Make A Sex Noise (3:09)
16. Tracy Is A Snob (3:54)
17. I Have Been In You (5:05)
18. Emperor Of Ohio (1:32)
19. Dinah-Moe Humm (3:16)
20. He's So Gay (2:34)
21. Camarillo Brillo (3:10)
22. Muffin Man (2:25)
23. NYC Halloween Audience (0:46)
24. The Illinois Enema Bandit (8:05)
25. Thirteen (Zappa/Shankar) (6:09)
26. Lobster Girl (O'Hearn/Colaiuta/Zappa) (2:21)
27. Black Napkins (5:22)
28. We're Turning Again (4:57)
29. Alien Orifice (4:16)
30. Catholic Girls (4:04)
31. Crew Slut (5:34)
32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:33)
33. Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance (3:47)
34. Lisa's Life Story (Zappa/Popeil) (3:06)
35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando (5:15)
36. 200 Motels Finale (3:43)
37. Strictly Genteel (7:08)

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
Part of the M.O.I. speech included in this track is available
through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik web page
"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/), here is included with
a little correction by Charles Ulrich <cul...@POMONA.EDU>.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I _(you just fill in the blank)_, do hereby solemnly swear, in
accordance with the regulations of the contract with this here
rock and roll engagement. And The Imbecilic Laws of the State of
Florida, and the respective regulations perpetrated by Red-Necks
Everywhere! Do Hereby Solemnly Swear!, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, TO
REVEAL MY TUBE, WAD, DINGUS, WEE-WEE, AND OR PENIS ANYPLACE ON
THIS STAGE!! THIS Does NOT include Private Showings in the motel
room, however."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. The Poodle Lecture
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What?
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 30, 1977
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed on December
5, 1980 at the Berkeley Community Theatre (source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival
9. I'm So Cute
12. Ms. Pinky
16. Tracy Is A Snob
18. Emperor Of Ohio
Wrong band on the booklet: Vinnie Colaiuta and Arthur Barrow must
be added, Chad Wackerman and Scott Thunes must be removed.

7. Farther O'Blivion
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
These bootlegs contain the complete Nanook thing, really amazing.
Wrong date and band on the booklet. FO'B was performed on 1973
during the Australian summer portion of the 1973 world tour. The
line-up should also be corrected, Napoleon Murphy Brock was in that
band even if he didn't perform in this particular song.
Lastly the name of this song should incorrect. The booklet says
that "Apstrophe(')" was the album in which it has appeared, so the
correct name should be "Father O'Blivion". And here is what affz
says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 1995 11:38:03

I think this song's name is incorrect. "Farther O'Blivion" was an
instrumental tune, typical -73 band sort of BeBop Tango thing.
This song should be called "Father O'Blivion". Don't ask me why
the songs are named this way, I can't see any similarities
between them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. White Person
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Wrong date. Maybe same as The Torture Never Stops on Vol.1.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jon Naurin wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92U...@chestud.chalmers.se (Jon Naurin)
Date: 15 Nov 1995

Finally, I got another tape yesterday that revealed a new error
in the YCDTOSA liner notes:

YCTDOSA 6, disc 1, track 10, "White Person". This is a
performance from Hemmerleinhalle in Neukirchen, NOT Nurnberg.
The date is February 25, 1978, NOT 1977. The musicians are
correct, though all except Zappa should be credited with
vocals.

- Jon
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. Lonely Person Devices
Wrong date, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Should be 3.3.1976. (Also, you can recognize that this vamp is
in the same chord progression as 'Black Napkins' in 4/4. 'Panty
Rap' from Tinsel Town Rebellion is a reggae based on the same
vamp.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 17 Jan 1994 17:11:02 GMT

Bianca Odin. She was with the fall '76 band for a couple of
months and was let go in mid-tour. (Drugs?) This was the same
lineup that later made "Zappa In New York" with the added horns.
BTW, this song (which is the only officially released performance
with Bianca) was actually recorded in late October '76, and
includes Eddie Jobson on keyboards. These omissions are two of
the innumerable errors in the liner info on YCDTOSA 4 and 6.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

15. Make A Sex Noise
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed in
Binghamton on March 17, 1988 (source: affz, see below).

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: z...@maths.tcd.ie (John Walsh)
Date: 21 Apr 1995 14:56:30 +0100

spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby) writes:

>YCDTOSA 6 :

> Make A Sex Noise - FZ says something near the end about finding
> sexy people in Binghamton or something like that. So could this
> be from Binghamton rather than Towson?

Yeah, the date for this recording is also wrong. On the liner
notes the date is 23-March-88 but he makes references to it being
St. Paddy's day (17-March every year) when he invites women of
irish extraction to make a sex noise on stage. I presume this
makes the date for the other song on the cd with the same date
wrong as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

17. I Have Been In You
Here is the what Frank says in the middle of the song
(from 3:01 to 4:22):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
Date: 8 Jun 1993 07:39:46 GMT

You know, I can hardly resist going in you because, ever since
I started writing love songs and everything and... you know, it's
very difficult when you're English not to write a love song
because... What? That's right, if you're English, you _are_
very sensitive. That's one thing I've noticed, being an English
person. In fact, I've been an English person for almost five
minutes during this song and my sensitivity has increased to the
point where... I don't know, maybe it's just all of our
traditions: the tea, Winston Churchill, his large lips and
everything. This kind of stuff, why, you start accumulating all
of this CIVILIZATION behind you, and... you know, what can you
say? If you're English, you're Really Fantastic, aren't you?
So, darling, it should come as absolutely no surprise to you that
I went back to your little teenage room and... climbed on top of
your teenage body and... took all of my English teenage clothes
off and... you know, stuck my little lips up next to your ear and
said "I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU!" But I don't want you to
get it wrong, you know, I don't just come over here and stick it
IN YOU AND IN YOU AND IN YOU because I like you. It's not
because... it's not even physical. I only do it (and remember,
taxes are really bad in England) the only reason I do it is to
sell records, and I hope you'll understand.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. NYC Halloween Audience
37. Strictly Genteel
This really is a completely unuseful comment, a " but what the
fuck" thing! In NYCHA you can can clearly one particular screeming
hard-core fanatic say "Zappaaaaa" or something like that. The same
clear scream once again appears at the end of SG at the end of
this disc. Hence NYCHA comes from the Halloween 1981 concert.

24. The Ellinois Enema Bandit
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

After Ike shouts 'Isn't that amazing?' (6:29), an edit to
'81/'82 band occurs. (Ike disappered, and Steve Vai's guitar and
Ed Mann's marimba come in, and also, the bass is switched to
Mini-Moog bass.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

26. Lobster Girl
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 29, 1978
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

27. Black Napkins
The guitar solo comes from a 1984 concert.
Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels is omitted again. He is inaudible though, should
be added.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

28. We're Turning Again
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"[...] You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

29. Alien Orifice
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
Some comments for these bootlegs from from "alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ,
Bootlegs Information, Part 2 of 2, Version 2.3, September 26, 1994":
"Solo edited on YCDTOSA 6, full length here".
Moreover the ending comes from a 1988 concert. You can hear the best
horn section you never heard in you life.

32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Tiny Nightmares" (2 LP);
"Zurkon Music" (LP);
"Donna You Wanna" (CD).

34. Lisa's Life Story
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Demo's" (LP).
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA (P. Psutka)
Date: 18 Mar 1995 12:08:04 -0500

"Lisa's Life Story" is actually from '81 (and might not have Ike
Willis on it unless he sat in for that show.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando
The double issue 14-15 of Debra Kadabra, the Italian fzine
published by the Italian FZ Research Kitchen also called DK, will
include the true story of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando". Nando is
Fernando ("all my friends they call me DO" ... "Nan-Nan-Nan
DO-DO-DO") Boero, a marine biologyst from Genoa, they Italian
city where the 88 part of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando" was recorded.
Nando wrote for us the story of his friendship with FZ, it's a
very nice story, I hope I'll find someone from affz that will want
to translate it in English. Menwhile here is a rough translation
of the begining of the article:

"There is nothing I'd like better than having a jellyfish named
after me" (FZ).

In 1982, after becoming a researcher in the University of
Genoa, I asked for a work fund that could allow me to be for
a long time in the Bodega Marine Laboratory of the University
of California, Berkeley. The purpose was to study the
taxonomy and the ecology of the local jellyfish fauna (yes,
there exist people who earn a living studing jellyfish).
Actually the true purpose was another one: to meet Frank
Zappa. My strategy was a simple one:

- that fauna was (and is) not well known;
- I would find some new species for sure;
- once I have found them I would have to give them a name;
- I would dedicate one of them to FZ;
- I would tell him about it;
- He would invite me for a visit.

And that's how it went.

[...]

Also, here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"My personal favorite MK contribution to a Zappa CD occurs in
"Lonesome Cowboy Nando", when I attempt to cram the line "I
describe the little dangling utensils on this thing and tell him to
draw it up so that it looks just like a brand new jellyfish" into
the same space where I would normally say "stomp in his face so he
don't move no more". The first time I listened to this song with
Frank, he applauded me after that section. One o' them priceless
moments. You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

Lyrics to this song are available through the Internet from the
Robbert Heederik web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Frank:
My name is Nando,
I'm a marine biologist.
All my friends,
they call me "Doh".

Ike & Mike:
Hi, Doh!

Frank:
All my family,
from someplace in this area,
And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza
during the show.

All:
Come out here, to Californy,
Just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones I seen gets me so horny,
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.
Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay.
I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza,
I know they like me, here's what I'll say:

(1971:)

Jimmy Carl Black:
I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress...

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. A-Ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy:
Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?

Mark & Howard:
Burtram, Burtram redneck!
Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Jimmy:
I'm an awful nice guy.
Worked all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
Quite a bundle I've made,
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.

Mark & Howard:
He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

(1988:)

Ike:
"Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this,
you know what I'm sayin'?"

Frank:
When I get off, I get plastered.
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.
Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
so it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.

Ike & Mike:
(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)

Frank:
"Take that! Take that!"
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin',
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.
I drool on my shorts,
I do some water sports,
Then I take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! "Sorta..."

Ike & Mike:
"Whaddya do?"
Stick it again in the bed!

Frank:
"That's right!

Ike & Mike:
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!

(1971:)

Jimmy:
Lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt.
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress!

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. Yee-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!

Jimmy:
Come on in this place,
an' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?

"Opal, you hot little bitch!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

37. Strictly Genteel
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).

THE END

SPECIAL THANKS to
the next three web-makers:

*Scott Chatfield* <sc...@cts.com>
for his
"Mike Keneally Page"
<http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally.html>

*Robbert Heederik* <heed...@fwi.uva.nl>
for his
"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
<http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/>

*Marianne Mueller* <m...@eng.sun.com>
for her
"The Black Page!"
<http://www.catalog.com/mrm/zappa.html>

Son of SPECIAL THANKS to
the ugliest part of the body of:

*John Scialli* <sci...@primenet.com>

The return of the son of SPECIAL THANKS to:

*Ale Sordi* & *Debra Kadabra*

_____________________________________________________________________________
Francesco Gentile ______ ZappioLatino
|___| | (a 3 persons hard-core organization)
| / |__| *
|/_____| Debra Kadabra
gent...@xantia.caspur.it |______| (the Italian FZ Research Kitchen)
_____________________________________________________________________________

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Dec 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM12/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part2

| part 2 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

UNCLE MEAT
==========

Notes and Comments
ver.29-Sep-1996

dialogues
Joined International Transcribing Effort
of :-)
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

A little bit of Italian
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

The Voice Of Cheese
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: Hello, teenage America,
My name is Suzy Creemcheese,
I'm Suzy Creemcheese because
I've never wron fake eyelashes
in my whole life
And I never made it on surfing set
And I never made it on beatnik set
And I couldn't cut the groupie set either
And...Um
Actually I'm really fucked up in Europe.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Actually, *I* really fucked up in Europe.
# Makes sense that way.

( Hrrrrrrrrrr )
Now that I've done it all over and
Nobody else will accept me
I've come home to my Mothers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# In accordance with book exerpt below the voice of Cheese seems to belong
# to Pamela Zarubica
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# from "No Commercial Potential" (pp.92-93 of 1980 edition ) about
# Suzy Creamcheese
#
#
# "By the latter part of 1967, success seemed imminent. Zappa was in the
# forefront of the musical explosion, though he was not getting that much
# media exposure because radio stations refused to play his music over the
# air. At this time the Garrick closed. He took a brief respite and toured
# Europe. During June, Pamela Zarubica had returned from Europe. Frank had
# married Gail in the meantime. Gail was expecting, and at first Frank wanted
# Pam to stay with Gail to help her take care of the baby that was soon to be
# born. 'Frank called me and said that there was a great desire to see Suzy
# Creamcheese because the people in Europe couldn't imagine what kind of a
# chick to associate with the picture they had seen of these guys' she recalls.
# 'He said "I'm going to Europe and they want Suzy Creamcheese, you come and
# stay with Gail," and I said "Come and stay with Gail? I am Suzy Creamcheese
# and I'm going with you because if you take some asshole who doesn't know how
# to talk to the press [on the Mothers first promotional tour for *Freak Out*,
# Frank used another girl named Suzy Creamcheese who talked to promotional men
# at MGM throughout the country] that doesn't know how to talk to people,
# you're never going to talk to anybody, period."'

#
# From: h...@euronet.nl (Hanzo)
# This is part two of an interview in Melody Maker January fourth 1974
# conducted by PATRICK and BARBARA SALVO transscribed by Hanzo for your
# reading pleasure.

# Q: What, who and where was Suzy Cream Cheese at?
# FZ: Suzy Cream Cheese was a girl named Jeannie Vassoir, and she was the
# voice thatãs on the -Freak Out- album; And the myth of Suzy Cream Cheese,
# the letter on the album which I wrote myself. There never really was a Suzy
# Cream Cheese. It was just a figment of my imagination until people started
# identifying with it heavily. It got to weird proportions in Europe, so that
# in 1967 when we did our first tour of Europe people were asking if Suzy
# Cream Cheese was along with us. So I procured the services of another girl
# named Pamela Zarubica who was hired to be the Suzy Cream Cheese of the
# European tour. And so she maintained the reputation of being Suzy Cream
# Cheese after 1967.
# The first one went someplace. We don't know where. She's back in town
# now, I saw her.

Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Primer *mi carucha* ( Chevy'39)
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Primer: To apply primer paint, a dull gray undercoat applied before
# painting an automobile. "Primer" derives from the verb "to prime" (meaning
# to prepare) the surface prior to painting. Young men with little money often
# applied primer to prevent rust on used automobiles, while saving enough
# money to buy the paint to finish the job. Eventually, "primer gray" became
# a style itself within the Chicano subculture.
#
# mi carucha: Spanish. Literally, "my carriage". "My car" of course.
#
# Chevy '39: A 1939 Chevrolet. A favorite model for modification by "hot rod"
# enthusiasts of the 1950's. Chevrolets were particularly favored by
# Mexican-American youth.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# "My car". Carrucha (correctly spelled with two Rs) means 'pulley' in
# standard Spanish, but 'car' in Chicano slang.

Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Probably not to any organized sporting event. More likely to hang out with
# other young automobile enthusiasts in the empty parking lot.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# It's nowhere now, but it used to be in El Monte, California, east of Los
# Angeles. Frank Zappa and Ray Collins wrote a song called "Memories of El
# Monte", which reminisces about the dances that were held there.
# It was recorded by the Penguins (of "Earth Angel" fame) in 1963. I don't
# know when they tore down the stadium, but the song certainly suggests that
# the dances were no longer being held as of 1963. A photograph of one of
# these dances shows that they were racially integrated, with blacks, whites,
# and hispanics plainly visible in the crowd.
#
#CC
# From: jge...@inter.nl.net (Jos Geluk)
# On the bootleg 'No commercial potential' Zappa says 'Welcome to El Monte
# Legion Stadium'. Was he actually performing there at that moment or was it
# just a form of conceptual continuity?
#
# from alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ (8/12) Bootlegs info - Part 1
# currently maintained by sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# version 2.2 (last change 7-4-94)
#
# KNOWN BOOTLEGS 1969:
# "Poot Face Boogie" (1) - Live and studio 68-69.
# "Vitamin Deficiency" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie" (and "Safe
# Muffinz", see 1971)
# "No Commercial Potential" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie"
# (and "Safe Muffinz", see 1971)
# ..............................................................
#
# Safe Muffinz (partial)
#
# Date: mid-1971
# Loc: El Monte Legion Stadium
# Length: ~45 min
# Catalog: takrl 1929
# X-Ref: Zappalog #212
#
# Musicians: FZ, Mark Volman, Howard Kaylan, Don Preston, Aynsley Dunbar,
# Jim Pons, Ian Underwood
#
# 1. Call Any Vegetable
# 2. The Air
# 3. Dog Breath
# .........................................................

Pick up on my *weesa* ( she is so divine)
^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Diminutive for "Louisa".
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Huiza (pronounced weesa) is Chicano slang for 'girl'.

Helps me stealing hub caps
^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Hub cabs cover the center of a car wheel. You must pop them off in order
# to undo the bolts and change the tire. The end of the axle is called the
# "hub" so "hub cap" is really a self-explanatory term.
# During the 60's and 70's, these were very fancy - ornate with much chrome
# and they were often stolen. You used to hear talk about stealing hub caps
# a lot back then. These days, I guess they are more mundane and you don't
# hear about them being stolen as much.

Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# (Heh-heh. We're getting deep into Mexican-American culture here, aren't
# we?). A pair of oversized dice (as in gambling) made of a hairy fabric,
# tied together with a short string and usually suspended from the interior
# rear-view mirror as a good luck token. These are for appearance only,
# and never actually used for anything.

Louie Louie
~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: The first thing that attracted me to the Mothers music
Was the fact that they played for twenty minutes
Everybody was hissing, and booing, and falling of the dance floor
And Elmer was yelling at them to get
Off the stage and turn down they're amplifiers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Once again the piece appeared to be kind of Pamela Zarubica recollection
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# Text taken from the notorious 1972 poor-excuse-for-a-book "No Commercial
# Potential" by David Walley. (pp.56-57 of 1980 edition )
#
# "She first saw Frank Zappa while she and Julia were waiting to get into the
# Trip. The guest guitarist came in from the back. 'He used to wear this big
# fur coat that looked like it was made out of dead cat....I thought he looked
# like Omar Sharif. I always called him Omar. He played a tune with the Grass
# Roots.' After that, she saw him around with Vito and Carl Franzoni. <Note:
# Carl is the original Hungry Freak. Vito had the first crash pad for freaks
# and was the connecting force amongst LA freakdom> Finally Frank opened at
# the Trip. 'I sat there through the first set while they were playing Brown
# Shoes Don't Make It, and I was thinking to myself that I was a creep because
# my shoes were brown and then I remembered they were moccasins so I was okay
# again. They played Help I'm A Rock for twenty minutes and everyone went
# *Ugh*....I loved it. He came over after the set and said, 'I'm glad you
# could make it' and I said, 'So am I.''

FZ: Ah! I know perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet,
None other than the mighty majestic Albert Hall pipe organ

From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# It was 1969, as I remember (I was at the concert at the Royal Albert Hall
# in London). The RAH has a stage in front of a tiered seating arrangement
# (for a choir) and in the centre of this is a large pipe organ. After FZ
# made the statement, Someone who memory tells me was Don Preston (I might
# be wrong here) opened a little gate, went rushing up the stairs to the
# organ and really let it rip.
# I remember this particular concert (out of the 5 I went to) because
# the PA system really *did* eat it. Frank gave one of his monologues which
# was almost unintelligible due to the PA system and the legendary terrible
# acoustics in the Royal Albert Hall; the bits you could hear seemed to
# indicate that the entire band had their naked buttocks pressed against the
# windows of the bus that picked them up all the way from the airport into
# central London. Frank described this as 'Brown Eyeing'
# 'Louie Louie' has a remarkable influence on 'Florentine Pogen' as well...
#
# Now I come to think of it I can probably confirm the date even better. At
# the concert they were selling programmes which were made up from the cover
# of the booklet which came out with 'Uncle Meat'. FZ actually said that the
# concert was being taped and would be on the album. I never bought the
# album on vinyl; Reprise refused to release it in the UK and it actually
# came out on Transatlantic, an independent label (and quickly went out of
# print). I bought the CD a few years ago and the Concert Booklet (which I
# still have) is basically a full-sized version of the booklet which comes
# with the CD, using the same cover but different inside pages.
# On the back inside cover is one of Cal Shenkel's little notes which says
# something about working all night so that the films could be flown to
# London; I presume that he was working on the album cover some time before
# it was released and they decided to use the cover art for the cponcert
# programme.

Louie Louie
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)

# A neat book by Dave Marsh is called 'Louie,Louie: The History & Mythology
# of the World's Most Famous Rock 'n' Roll Song; Includeing the Full Details of
# Its Torture and Persecution at the Hands of the Kingsmen, J. Edgar Hoover's
# F.B.I., and a Cast of Millions; and Introducing, for the First Time Anywhere,
# the Actual Dirty Lyrics.' Also includes Zappa explaining Louie, Louie as a
# stock module, Hendrix, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Stooges, et al.
# A nice documentaion of pop history.
#
# From: JSUL...@cclink.fhcrc.org
# And let's not forget maybe 4 seconds [of Louie Louie] on "Welcome to the
# US" on The Yellow Shark.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Not to mention the whole basis of "Plastic People". It also pops up in
# "Dupree's Paradise" on YCDTOSA Volume Two, and various other places.
# Richard Berry is in the list of influences on Freak Out. Society Pages ran
# a story on "Louie Louie" in FZ's music.

Our Bizarre Relationship
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese:
That house had your shit all over
And we had cats, we had [flies, fleas] we had lot of crabs
That we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon
except Elmer and Phil,
^^^^^ ^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# OK! Elmer seems to be Elmer Valentine. Whisky-a-Go-Go owner. But who is
# Phil? Spector? Any evidence?

The Uncle Meat Variations
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FUZZY DICE
I got'em
At the Pep Boys... at the BOYYYYYYYYYYS
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The Pep Boys is a retail chain that sells fuzzy dice and other automotive
# parts. The founders' names are Manny, Moe, and Jack.
# The Dickies did a song called "Manny, Moe, and Jack" that also mentions
# fuzzy dice.
#
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Pep Boys was (maybe still is?) a chain of Auto Parts stores. The sign
# featured cartoon faces of the the Boys: Manny, Joe, and Jack.

Fuzzy Dice & bongos
*Brodie knob & spinners*
^^^^^^
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Brodie made "hot rod" type auto parts, like replacement knobs for your
# stick shift. I think a "spinner" is a knob that you attached to your
# steering wheel so you could steer with one hand.

Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha

Electric Aunt Jemima
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Electric Aunt Jemima
^^^^^^^^^^^
Goddess of Love
Khaki Maple Buckwheats
Frizzle on the stove

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# That's what printed in my German songbook.
# Aunt Jemima: das amerikanische Gegenstuck zu Dr. Oetker. Das Wahrzeichen
# der Marke Aunt Jamima ist eine pausbackige Negerkochin.
#
# From: richts@frege (Joern Richts)
# The English translation is:
# "Aunt Jemima: the american counterpart of Dr. Oetker. The emblem of the
# brand Aunt Jemima is a chubby-cheeked negro cook."
# Dr. Oetker is a german food brand, famous for its baking ingredients. I
# think this isn't very helpful for non-Germans but now at least I know what
# Aunt Jemima.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Aunt Jemima (a division of the Quaker Oats Company) makes pancake mix
# and syrup. They may make other products, but pancakes and syrup are what
# they're known for. I believe the name was already part of American folklore
# before Quaker Oats used it commercially, but I'd have to check on this.
# The phrase "Khaki maple buckwheats" certainly suggests pancakes. Maple
# syrup is the traditional accompaniment for pancakes, though most commercial
# syrups contain cheaper syrups (e.g. corn syrup). Buckwheat is a grain from
# which pancakes are sometimes made.
# Khaki is a dull yellowish brown (etymologically, 'dust-colored') or cloth
# of this color used to make pants (i.e. trousers). I guess pancakes are
# more-or-less this color.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Her testy stuff could be used not only by naughty freaks, but also by
# decent american secret agents in time of great danger. Look
#
# Billy the Mountain. Just Another Band From L.A.
#
# ...And he pulled down his blue denim policeman-type pants, and he spread
# even amounts of Aunt Jemima maple syrup over the inside of his legs!...
#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Electric Aunt Jemima was a name Frank used for one of his guitar amps. He
# always was good at naming stuff.
#
# And Our Masters's voice at last to clear it out forever :-)))
#
# From _Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary by Miles_ p.42
# "I get kind oflaugh out of the fact that other people are going to try
# to interpret that stuff and come up with some grotesque, interpretations
# of it. It gives me a certain amount of satisfaction. You can imagine how
# insane that must get on a song 'Electric Aunt Jemima' which was written
# about an amplifier. Yes, it's Standall amplifier, about this big, that
# I used on a couple of sessions" (Zappa: 1969)

Queen of my heart
Please hear my plea
Electric Aunt Jemima
Cook a bunch for me

Brownies in the basin
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The crucial ingredient is chocolate.

Monza by the street light
^^^^^
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# Monza - Another make of automobile.

Ian Underwood Whips It Out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian: My name is Ian Underwood
And I am straight member of the group
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# I think the interpretation would be rather literal. Ian, with his music
# degree, is not a freak, and considers himself to be the "straight"
# (conservative) member of the band. I doubt that the other meaning of
# "straight" (erect) "member" (penis) was intended by Ian when he spoke the
# line, but it was immediately exploited by FZ as he dropped in the "Wowie
# Zowie" comment.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Three related meanings, in no particular order of importance:
# straight: 1) heterosexual
# 2) Not on drugs
# 3) Normal
# I believe 2 was implied (perhaps 3). I always found it amusing since I
# knew that Frank insisted that all members of his bands be drug free. That
# may not have been the case with the early mothers.

( Wowie Zowie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# And if we believe in written word it must be our sweet Pamela again.
# Here liners note for Freak Out! song You Didn't Try To Call Me...
# that
# ... was written to describe the situation in which Pamela Zarubica
# found herself last spring ( Wowie Zowie is what she says when she's
# not grouchy ... )

And I said I like your music,
I'd like to come down to play with you.
Two days later I came up to the recording session
And Frank Zappa was sitting at the control room
I walk up and said

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# I believe it was We're Only In It... recording session.

A Pound For A Brown On The Bus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: j...@panini.att.com (Jeff Rocca)
# Before playing "A Pound For A Brown On The Bus" at the 6/6/69 Royal
# Festival Hall show in London, England, Frank Zappa told the audience
# the legend behind the song. What follows is a transcription I made from
# a recording of this show.
#
# Frank Zappa: "In California, there's a cult known as surfers. And, some
# of you might know about surfers, a lot of you might have missed out on this
# part of your social history. Surfers are young people with bleach-blond
# hair and they have a sun tan -- you don't know what that is here -- and they
# have cut-off pants which makes them look sort of funky and authentic and
# nature-boy style. And they have rubber sandals called Birachies. And they
# have these things called surf boards which are made out wood and fiberglass,
# gayly painted. And of course they have the Woolly Wagon, which is an old
# station-wagon with wood panelling on the side, or if you're too cheap, you
# paint wooden panelling on the side. And you live this life where you like
# to go to the beach all the time, even if its freezing cold, jump out there
# and flop around in the water, and then swim out with your surf board and
# ride in on the waves. It's very thrilling and it gets you a lot of pussy
# with the surfer girls. And similar mating practices exist in all walks of
# life. Truck drivers have certain things they do to get laid. Newspaper
# writers. They all have their own little thing and there's girls that go
# along with each one of these stupid games. They're all broken down into
# little pockets of resistance. Anyway, we have these surfers and they have
# this curious thing called the Brown Out, which is part of their culture.
# Now, the Brown Out is the thing that you do to impress your surfer friends
# and to make other people's eyebrows go up and down. And what you do is you
# get the other person's attention -- you wave at them or you say something
# amusing -- and they turn around and look at you and then suddenly you
# reverse your position, drop your pants, and stick your buns out at them.
# That is a Brown Out. Also known as a Brown. And also known as Mooning on
# the East Coast. There are a number of variations on this procedure.
# If you Brown Out against a wire screen, its called a chipped beef. And if
# you do it against a plate glass window at a delicatessen, its called a
# pressed ham.
# Last year, before we did our Festival Hall show, we arrived at the airport
# and were provided with a touring bus with nice big windows so that everybody
# on the outside could see in and we could see out. The lovely ride from the
# airport to the Winton Hotel. During this trip, a wager was made between
# Jimmy Carl Black, the Indian of the group, and Bunk Gardner, our
# silver-haired tenor saxophone virtuoso. Jimmy Carl Black turned to Bunk
# Gardner and said "I'll bet you a pound you won't Brown Out on this here
# bus." Bunk Gardner, being the crafty silver-haired devil that he is,
# quickly computed the difference between a pound and a dollar and had his
# pants off before anybody knew what was happening.
# <Audience applauds> I can tell by the applause that you admire him for
# doing this. And I can tell that you are trying to project into it
# desperately, maybe even be able to identify with it. Who knows, on the
# street a new rash of social disturbances, maybe the thing to replace flower
# power? We know what will replace flower power -- The Revolution.
# This piece of music is program music because it tells you the story with
# pictures that go along with different parts of the music to evoke realistic
# scenes in your imagination. This is an inferior kind of music designed for
# audiences who can't stand to just listen to music, but need pictures. It was
# invented here in Europe a long time ago. The first part of the piece has
# the simulated effect of London traffic. We do this ingeniously by using
# actual horns which you squeeze with your hand, that go "oo-bah." The next
# thing that happens in the piece is a jolly little theme which gives the
# impression that the Mothers Of Invention love to go around the country-side
# in a bus with big windows. Followed by another abstruse-type section that
# simulates the conversation on the bus, the calculation of the monetary
# difference, and this leads up to a throbbing, and otherwise surging climax,
# wherein the pants come off and the buns are revealed. Followed by some
# low-grade rocking out and instrumental improvisation for about the next
# 20 minutes or something."

Mr. Green Genes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# From _The Real FZ Book_
# Because I recorded a song called "Son of Mr. Green Genes" on the
# Hot Rats album in 1969, people have belived for years that the character
# with the name on the Captain Kangaroo TV show ... was my "real" Dad.
#
#CC
# Seems to be directly related to the Absolutely Free _The Duke of Prunes_
# suite
# From what appears to be AF liners note
# "The Duke of Prunes is surrealistic love songs. Euphemistic sexual imagery
# popular in country blues tunes, ..., is transmuted in this popular piece
# from the basic '- - - me, suck me, till my eyes roll back, baby' to 'prune
# me, cheese me, go-kart...' or something like that"

Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.

"If We'd All Been Living in California"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- There's some months when you're not going to work as much as other
months. There's some months when you're going to make a lot of
money and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred
dollars a month.
- Expenses are sure high to.
If we'd all been living in California,
it would have been different.
- If we'd all been living in California,
we wouldn't have worked at all.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Surly the place was NYC
# From _The Real FZ Book_, p. 90
#
# In 1966 and '67, the L.A.P.D. and the Sheriff's Department went to war
# with the freaks in Hollywood...
# The places where they used to eat ... were under constant surveillance.
# The city government threatened to take away Elmer ( Whisky-a-Go-Go )
# Valentine's liquor license if he didn't stop booking long-haired acts
# into his club. There was no place left to work in Hollywood

The Air
~~~~~~~
I got busted
Coming through customs
With a suitcase
Full of tapes
It was special
Tape recording
And they grabbed me
While I was boarding
Then they hit me

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Seems to be a fantasie or very obscure recollection of Studio Z episod

And they beat me
And they told me
They don't like me
And I crashed
In my Nash
^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Nash was an automobile manufacturer some time ago. My father's first car
# was a Nash, and I think it was old then (late forties/early fifties).
#
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# In my Nash - Nash is a reference to another defunct automobile company. I
# knew a fellow with a Nash when I was in high school. The last of the
# American automakers to go out of business was Studebaker.

Cruising For Burgers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cruising for burgers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In daddy's new car
My phony freedom card
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brings to me
Instantly
ECSTASY

# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# It still is today [favorite South Californian pastime], among a certain age
# group. Teenagers old enough to drive (over 16 years of age), but not old
# enough to drink legally (possibly 18 years of age back then, 21 now) cruise
# around aimlessly, looking for entertainment of any sort. A fake ID card
# (forged, borrowed, or stolen identification which indicates that the holder
# is old enough to enter an establishment which serves alcohol, or to purchase
# alcohol) would provide an alternative to the endless cruising.
# That is the "phony freedom card".
# "Cruising for burgers" is itself a double-entendre. While teenage life in
# the automobile often centers around meeting friends at various drive-in
# hamburger places, it also centers around sex. "Cruising for burgers"
# literally means driving from one hamburger place to another, but it could
# also be interpreted as prowling for females. The fake ID card would enable
# the purchase of alcohol, which would greatly increase the probability of
# sexual encounters during the evening's excursions.

Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# From the sound of it, the recording dates from the early 80s, probably 1981
# or 2, around the time that the newer footage in Dub Room Special was shot.
# It's not new bass and drums on an old song, it's a completely new song
# shoehorned into Uncle Meat - and IMO it doesn't fit too well. It's a novelty
# knockoff in the tradition of Valley Girl or I Don't Even Care.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# The man who sung this piece ( and obviously wrote/imrovised lyrics ) was
# Massimo Bassoli. Below a little introduction and translation attempt
#
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>
# Massimo Bassoli is an Italian rock journalist. He is the editor of the rock
# magazine "TUTTIFRUTTI" published monthly, and before that he was the editor
# of another magazine called "ROCKSTAR".Both magazines are a kind of fashion
# thing mainly devoted to the USA and UK majors' music with some Italian stuff
# certainly not the best to my taste. He also wrote a book about FZ, published
# in 1982, called "ZAPPA (E' PIU' DURO DI TUO MARITO)" (in English: "Zappa (
# harder than your husband)").
# I don't know exactly why but it seems that this guy was in a sort of
# connection with FZ.

Tengo(1) na minchia(2) tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi'(3) | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH

Devi usare un pollo, | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN,
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia(4) | LOOK THAT HE/SHE(4) IS EATING IT
E mentre se la sta a pappa' | AND WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
Se la sta a succhia' | HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia da tastar | I'VE GOT A DICK TO BE TOUCHED

Come on baby
Come on baby, suck my fire!
Oh yeah

Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Mentre se la sta a pappa' | WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
E' chiaro! se la sta a succhia' | IT'S CLEAR! HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Se la sta a pappa' | AND HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT

Darling, darling, darling
Look at your sister
Do something like that, thanks

Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Devi usarlo per misurar | YOU MUST USE IT TO MEASURE
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Cosi' me la potrai succhiar | SO THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SUCK ME IT

Ooh, you both suckin' stereo
Jesus

Translator's Notes
------------------
(1) "tengo" is dialectal (Naples dialect mainly), it means "I HAVE".
(2) "minchia" is one the infinite dialectal synonymous of penis. This word
is born in Sicily but now is used in all Italy.
(3) "accussi'" another dialectal word mainly used in the Naples area. Means
"THAT MUCH" and it should be followed, in the great Italian
tradition, with a gesture aimed to show how big is the thing
you are talking about.
(4) The Italian "guarda che se la mangia" is ambiguous. The gender of the one
is eating can be left unknown so in the following I wrote HE/SHE.

Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Part II
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Italian teacher lecture kindly translated once again by
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

And now dear friends
we are going to translate.
this is my left hand.

Repeat after me
Questa e' la mia mano destra | THIS IS MY RIGHT HAND

Era un senatore a 37 anni | HE WAS A 37 YEARS OLD SENATOR

And this is my last single

Translator's Notes
------------------

(1) This is the only time the text refer to the masculine gender.
So I decided to use "HE" for the rest of the excerpt even if in the
remainder the gender is unknown (and the meaning of the text is
unknown too!). See also note 4 to TNMT.
Sometimes in this excerpt you can hear a voice repeating after MB
while eating. Exhilarating! Specially when he try to repeat "37 anni".

#CC
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Remember Roy Estradas' recitation of this from the Baby Snakes movie?
# (10/31/77 NYC Palladium) Conceptual Project-Object Continuity.

BURNT WEENY SANDWICH
====================

Notes and Comments
ver.11-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru)

# From: Playboy, April, 1993
#
# PLAYBOY: The titles of your records and songs are art statements, too.
# ZAPPA: Well, you have to call them something, so why not call them
# something amusing?
# PLAYBOY: For example, Burnt Weeny Sandwich?
# ZAPPA: I still eat burnt weeny sandwiches. It's one of the great
# things in life. At least it's a great lunch. You take a Hebrew
# National, put it on a fork, burn it on the stove, wrap two pieces
# of bread around it, squirt some mustard on it, eat it and you're
# back to work.

WPLJ
~~~~

The W is the white, the P is the port,
the L is the lemon, the J is the juice.
White port and Lemon Juice ..."

# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)
# WPLJ=WhitePort&LemonJuice, the original California cooler.
# A co-worker was singing the last Thursday.
#
# From: From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# I quoted this last time WPLJ came up, but here it is again.
# From Roy Porter's autobiography, "There and Back", 1991,
# Bayou Press, Wheatley, Oxford, p. 79:
#
# I didn't start dropping "bennies" until I came to Los Angeles in 1944. By
# that time pot was passe for me because I had never liked the feeling it
# gave me anyway. Pot (marijuana) made me self-conscious and a bit paranoid.
# It afforded no relaxation at all, especially while playing my instrument.
# Pot was good to sit and dig sounds with. Benzedrine was sold in two forms,
# pills and the inhalers. It was legal to buy the inhalers over the counter,
# but you were supposed to have a prescription for the pills. The pills were
# used legally, mainly by airline pilots, bus drivers, etc. - anyone who had
# to stay alert and awake in their occupation. The inhaler was a different
# story; anyone could purchase them. The benzedrine was inside the inhaler,
# saturated in an orange-coloured paper strip. At that time we were drinking
# Molotov Cocktails, which is white port wine mixed with lemon juice. Man, we
# would get four or five quarts of white port, buy some inhalers, break them
# open, put the strips in each bottle of wine, put the wine next to a heater
# or heat, and let it sit and dissolve for a few days. When you drink that
# shit, man it will blow your mind, but we would be feeling mellow being
# loaded for days without any ZZZ's. Cisco knew exactly how long to let it
# set and dissolve, just like a moonshiner.
#
# Not recommended, folks, just for historical value.
#
# From: pcr...@superior.carleton.ca (Peter Crane)
# I think they mean White Porter Lemon Juice--a mixture of wine and lemon
# juice like the song says--sounds nasty, but you might want to have it with
# a Burnt Weeny Sandwich.

#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)

# Close: White Port and Lemon Juice.
# See (hear) the original WPLJ by the Four Deuces, (Music City 790) 1955.
# Legend has it that the tune began as a jingle the group did for a local
# merchant (I think a juice company, but it's been years since I heard the
# story. The point was to sell the juice, or the port, by plugging the combo:
# "white port and lemon juice, ooh what they do to you!")
# Anyway, the jingle was played on the local radio and got so much
# response that someone talked the group into working it up into a full
# song. It is a classic!
#
# From: to...@freeport.uwasa.fi (Tommi Uschanov)
# The full song was a hit and was only after that adopted into a wine
# ad jingle, according to notes to Vol. 1 of the two-volume _Music City
# Records_ anthology on the Swedish Earth Angel label (the label is Swedish,
# not Earth Angel, named for the Penguins classic!). The wine company was
# Swiss Colony, BTW. Zappa must have been very familiar with the original
# in his youth - it was a massive hit on the West Coast, and Music City
# was based in Berkeley.

# Spanish rap transcribed and translated by
# r.goe...@frw.ruu.nl (Roland Goetgeluk) girlfriend :-)
# corrected by
# ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney) it seems on his own :-)
#

Dile, por que no merece, | Say it to him, why isn't it worth it,
dale mucho vino, | give him much more wine,
mas suave, mas suave, | cooler, cooler,
mas lindo que la chingada, | more fuckin' beautiful what the fuck,
hombre, undele pinchi vato, hombre, | man, come on damn dude, man

Tu carnal, tu carnal ese tu, | Your buddy, your buddy, eh, you,
tu sabes, toda movida, toda movida, | You know, all groove, all groove,
esa, tu sabes como es, pinchi vino, | eh, you know how it is, fuckin' wine,
puta, undele pinchi vato, undele | faggot, c'mon damn dude, c'mon
hombre (?) | man

Por que no hombre, | Why not man,
te digo que si hombre | I tell you yes, man,
te digo, chingawese(?), | I tell you, we get tight,
esta meco, ponemos mas mecos | this meco (?), we put more mecos (?)
que la chingada, .. (?) ai ai vato. | what the fuck, ai ai fuckin' dude

# carnal = buddy, blood brother, not 'lustfulness'
# pinche = damn or fucking, an expletive preceeding any noun
# literally pinche means cook's helper.
# vato = dude
# puto = fairy, faggot
# cabron = lit. male goat = mother fucker
# mas suave, mas lindo que la chingada = cooler, more fucking beutiful
# suave means soft,
# but is slang for cool.
# la movida = the groove
#
# From : ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)
# He's basically begging some guy to get his friend to buy some
# wine. He's saying "Your friend, your friend, you know the groove, you
# know how it is, fucking faggot, c'mon."

Overture To A Holiday In Berlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# This beautiful music has a very long history. It was written
# in 1960 or 61 by young clean shaved Frank for the film _The World's
# Greatest Sinner_. It also reappeared with sort of senseless words
# on 200 motels album as a song titled Would You Like A Snack
#
# Howard: La La La La
# Mark: Would you like a snack?
#
# Mmmmmmmmmmmm :-)))))))
#
# Also exist ( on the FREAKS & MOTHERFU*#@%! bootleg for example ) another
# version of the lyrics dealing with real sojourn in Berlin
#
# From: ck7...@albnyvms.bitnet (C. Gordon Keeble (gordo))
#
# This probably needs corrections..
#
# Holiday in Berlin
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#
# Look at all the Germans.
# La la la la la la
# Watch them follow orders.
# La la la la la la
# See them think they're doing
# something groovy in the street.
#
# See the student leader.
# La la la la la la
# He's a rebel prophet.
# La la la la la la
# He's fucked up, he's still a
# Nazi like his mom and dad.
#
# Played for a night in Berlin. That afternoon we
# set up our shit and rehearsed.
# Half a dozen phony student rebels in the hall,
# came to see if I could find a way to help them all.
#
# "What is your desire?"
# La la la la la la
# "Help us start a fire."
# La la la la la la
# In the Allied center,
# 'round the corner, down the street.
#
# And then, we began to play.
# A bunch of punks arose from the crowd.
# Student rebels, their flags upraised,
# began to chant "Ho Chi Minh"
# "Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh" Threw tomatoes!
#
# And the next thing knew, we were under seige.
#
#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# The story behind that song is, when the mothers had a concert in Berlin
# 1968 (I think it was their first concert in germany), right on top of the
# student movement, the student wanted him to support their political ideas
# (which were pretty communistic), and he refused. So they throw tomatoes
# and stuff at him ("Don't throw stuff on the stage") and Frank said he'll
# never play in Berlin again. But Fritz Rau, a german concert promoter,
# talked him into come back again. "He said, if you don't like what these
# people were doing, you should come back and tell them"
# ( FZ, quoted from memmory from an interview he gave here in 1988).
# A real nice place to raise your kids up. :-)

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# For the uprising pictures check _Uncle Meat_. movie

Little House I Used To Live In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)

# On _Burnt Weeny Sandwich_ after _Little House I Used To Live In_ Zappa
# announces that they will try to perform _Brown Shoes..._ (if the audience
# keep quiet) but it sound like an empty promise.
# It's not an easy piece to perform live...
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu>
# I have a copy of BSDMI by the 1968 band from a show (in London?). So it was
# probably indeed performed, but I guess Zappa thought Valerie would fit
# nicely with WPLJ to finish off the album.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
# I would have guessed this before too, but..no. Recently I got a tape from
# Bologna in August '73 (in the same period as Piquantique, from BTB 1), in
# which the encore is "Brown Shoes," sung entirely by FZ and George Duke.
# This was quite a surprise.

Valarie
~~~~~~~
WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH
=======================

Notes and Comments
ver.19-Jun-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

lyrics from famous :-)
German Songbook
provided by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@july.techno.ru>

# A little bit of apropos :-)

#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)

# Does anybody know why the original cover to the album Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh_ was changed. The original picture a metal doll (chrome?) caught in a
# mouse trap. This was sometimes in the 70's changed to the man shaving
# himself with a weasel.
# I was reminded of the original cover when I found two fresh copies of it
# in a second hand shop in Gotherburg for 500 SEK each (that's about $70)
#
# From: mi...@cico.com (Michael Heth)
# From 1984 to about 1988 I was very good friends with John Williams who
# worked for Zappa for about 15 years. John stated to me that the original
# cover as envisioned by him was the image as painted by Neon Parks with only
# the word "Rzzzz" in the sound balloon. The record company execs had a fit
# claiming that they could not put out the album without some identification
# as to the band etc. John "went to the mat" for his concept and was assured
# that it would appear as he intended. Then the execs screwed him by adding
# the other word balloons, "The Mothers of Invention" and "Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh". John went ballistic and seemed to alienate some "big wigs" (nee
# dickheads) at the record company. They proceeded to screw him whenever
# possible, such as the photo credit for "Chunga's Revenge". John took the
# photo of Frank on the cover but they switched the credits so it reads that
# he took the photo on the back (can you tell that Frank is yawning, not
# screaming as it looks at first glance?). Although I remember John saying
# that the WRMF cover was his idea and that he commissioned Neon Park to
# paint it, I may be wrong about that and do not have a way of contacting him
# to confirm my memory.
# Any other "cover art" was put on by the local arm of the record company.
# The original was the Neon Park painting.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# May be other cover art was just for European version? My original Bizarre
# WRMF ( Printed in Holland ) also has on front cover green background metal
# doll in mouse trap.

Did You Get Any Onya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# The title of this tune is used by some folks as a response to someone
# else's particularly nasty-sounding belch, as if they're concerned you
# might've spewed something on yourself in the process: "Didja get any onya?".

ALTO SOLO
...............

MONOLOGUE:

Years ago in Tshermany when I wos a very small boy, zey was a lot of
peoples stending around on ze corners asking quest-shens: "Vy are you
stending on ze corner eck-ting ze way you do, looking ze way you look!
Vy do you look zat way!", they ask me end I vanted to say: I don't know,
I'm just stending here waiting in ze evening, and it's nice outside...
( Rest obscured by pseudo-operatic voices )

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# was then Samir :-)))
# The MONOLOGUE is by Lowell George, guitarist for Zappa at that time
# and later for Little Feat. Frank has said that George had a wonderful
# German accent. Another example may be found on "German Lunch" off
# YCDTOSA-5, CD 1.

NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH
NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH

Get A Little
~~~~~~~~~~~~

(COUGHING)

... hot and everybody workin'on her
So I figured I'd
Rip off her
Drawers and
Get a little -

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Sounds like "Get A Little" is about getting a little pussy or some sex.
# "Drawers" = underpants, panties.

The Eric Dolphy Memorial Barbecue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Michael_...@mindlink.bc.ca (Michael Gushulak)
# Eric Dolphy was a jazz multi-instrumentalist (alto sax, flute, and bass
# clarinet) who recorded in the late '50s and early '60s (he died in 1964 at
# the age of 36). He was noted for being the first to use the bass clarinet
# as a solo instrument, and played with Charles Mingus and Ornette Coleman
# among others. He is listed in the liner notes of "Freak Out!" as one of
# the people who "contributed materially in many ways to make [the Mothers']
# music what it is."

#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)

# Somebody should compile documentation on everybody in the Freak Out list,
# as FZ suggested. This one happens to be my hero, so I thought I'd add to
# Michael's comments by noting that Eric was born and raised in LA, his
# father was a car dealer, and the Dolphys were about the nicest people in
# the world. Frank probably knew of Eric from way back, since Eric had fairly
# regular gigs in LA until 1958 when he joined Chico Hamilton's chamber
# ensemble.
# Zappa's composition named above is a parody of the fact that vast
# quantities of tributes came out after Eric's death.
# Vladimir Simosko wrote the definitive biography/discography, available now
# from Da Capo Press. A Dutch filmmaker named Hans Hylkema made a documentary
# about Eric in 1992. It is now available on Rhapsody 9028. The point of view
# is quite Eurocentric, but it does spend a bit of time at the Dolphy's house
# in LA. A guy named Joe O'Con bought the house after the Dolphys died and
# maintained it as a museum/community center until it was destroyed in the
# riots in 1992. He still runs the Eric Dolphy Memorial Foundation, so the
# concept continues.
# Musically, there isn't a lot of overlap between Zappa and Dolphy. Dolphy
# is noted for the large intervals he used, playing some form of the changes
# typically but the sevenths and thirteenths more than the tonics and
# dominants. He often kept the rhythmic structure simple in order to provide
# a basis from which to take harmonic leaps (although there are wonderful
# examples of his rhythmic complexity). Zappa instead tends toward
# polyrhythmic compositions with little harmonic complexity, often writing
# chromatic or serial structures (of course there are counterexamples here
# too, I'm generalizing). Dolphy was highly trained, unlike Zappa, and was a
# virtuoso on each of his instruments. Like Zappa, though, he was thought of
# as some kind of crazed radical revolutionary, in spite of their obvious
# musicianship. The other tie between them is probably their love of Varese.
# Eric performed Density 22.5 (I forget the actual density at the moment
# actually) many times.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# I really don't know what Alan meant talking about basical rhythmic
# simplicity of Eric's music. In his bop period may be, but what you'd
# tell about it.
# "This is a recurring figure around and improvised chorus. This figure,
# in 5/4, sets the rhythm section up with a definite solo feeling. In
# improvised section, the rhythms overlap. The bass follows no bar line
# at all. Notice Tony. He doesn't play time, he plays. Even though the
# rhythms section breaks the time up, there's a bacic pulse comming from
# inside the tune. That's the pulse the musicians have to play."
# Looks familiar? Of course. Want another quote?
# "I was thinking about Monk when I wrote this tune. He's so musical
# no matter what he's doing, even if he's just walking around. It opens
# in 5/4, but once the whole group is in, the basic count is really 9/4."
# Yeah, it's Dolphy. His liners notes to his masterpiece _Out To Lunch_
#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# ED was a health nut who avoided even alcohol. Diabetes brought about his
# death.
# His music has been a major influence on the likes of Charles Mingus, John
# Coltrane, and countless others. Musicians from the "old school", such as
# swing/bop trumpeter Roy Eldridge, have been amazed by ED's musical ear.
# I doubt FZ ever wished to make fun of ED; FZ has spoken highly of,
# performed music clearly influenced by, and/or played with many musicians of
# the jazz "avant-garde" of the 60's, such as pianist Cecil Taylor, multi-reed
# player Rahsaan Roland Kirk, and saxophonists Archie Shepp and Albert Ayler.
# The melody of "ED Memorial BBQ" suggests that FZ had listened carefully to
# improvisations by ED.
#
# From: jmi...@terra.colostate.edu (Jeff Miller)
# Bzzt. Judging by FZ's style, the Eric Dolphy *Memorial* Barbeque is a
# toast to a great avant garde composer and musician.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU>
# First of all, Zappa appreciated Dolphy's music (he even included him on
# the list of inspiring people in "Freak Out!"). Secondly, the tune "Eric
# Dolphy Memorial Barbeque" really doesn't have much to do with Dolphy's
# music at all, as far as I can tell, being a fan of both Dolphy and Zappa.
# Although there is a sax solo on the Best Band version which is very
# Dolphyesque. So no, I don't think Zappa was making fun of Dolphy with this
# piece. (Another reason just popped into mind : it's not a very funny
# composition.)
#
# From: km9...@phoebe.albany.edu (MADIGAN KEVIN M)
# One of my favorite Eric Dolphy stories is when he was voted "Sax man of
# the year" or some such by a musician oriented magazine in 60 or 61 or
# thereabouts. His response was something along the lines of "Does this mean
# I'll start getting some decent gigs?" It appears that then ,as now, those
# actually playing things worth hearing didn't get much commercial reward.
#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
# About the Title EDMB:
# The first (or at least one of the first) posthumous Eric Dolphy albums (on
# Prestige) was called: Eric Dolphy's Memorial Album.
#
#CC
# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Please see the note to "Oh No"

Oh No
~~~~~

# From: stu...@apollo.HP.COM (stuart)
# Here are FZ's words, attached to one of his more memorable melodies,
# written in response to John Lennon & Yoko Ono late 60's deliberately
# innocent approach to the sorry state of word affairs then ( .. and now).
# ( Get your hands on a copy "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" to hear this in
# all its grandeur, with Ray Collins' 'swell vocals'. )

Oh no
I don't believe it
You say that you think you know
The meaning of love
You say love is all we need
You say
With your love you can change
All of the fools
All of the hate
I think you're probably
Out to lunch
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# "Out to lunch" is the name of a groundbreaking Eric Dolphy album.

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# "Out To Lunch" = Out Of Your Mind
# IMHO the reference comes from shops, often in rural areas, where the owner
# closes his shop to get lunch, being the only employee. Thus "Out To Lunch"
# == "Out Of Buisness"(temporarilly) So when someone make an inane
# statement, ref. song referred to in song, it is as if the person making
# the statement has put an "Out To Lunch" sign up, "This Person Not
# Working"/"Not Thinking"
# A good American slang dictionary is probably a necessity to grok Zappa's
# lyrics.

And in your dreams
You can see yourself
As a prophet
Saving the world
The words from your lips ...
I just believe you're
Such a fool

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Get your hands on copy of Roxy too. 'Coze you find there another version
# of this song named Son of Orange County. And another person trying to
# fool FZ with the words. This time it seems to be Richard Nixon brought into
# the world ( as suggested my Songbook footnote ) in Orange County CA.
# I'M NOT A CROOK!

Weasels Ripped My Flesh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#:-)))))))
# From: ar...@sun.lclark.edu (Matthew Arndt)
# An argument that the title track from Weasels Ripped My Flesh could be
# considered a song, and therefore a very bad song, is that next to it's
# listing in the CD booklet, it says "(Zappa)", which would indicate that he
# actually WROTE it.
#
# From: da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com (David Thomas)
# It's not just a song that he *wrote*, it's ART. The CD booklet and the
# title and the text next to it that says "(Zappa)" are the picture frame.
# But, if you prefer to think of it as just a song, then consider it a
# stylized vacuum cleaner solo.

CHUNGA'S REVENGE
================

Notes and Comments
ver.24-Jan-1995

Put togehter by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

Lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)

Transylvanian Boogie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Transylvanian Boogie is great. Combines a truly "non-rock" guitar
# improvisation with a really mean guitar sound.
#
Road Ladies
~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Road Ladies: OK, musically this is rather traditional blues.
# The lyrics are amusing the first times, however.
#

Don't it ever get lonesome? {yeah! . . . sure gets lonesome}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road?
{oh, there was one time in Minneapolis.. when I thought I
had the clap for sure}
Don't it ever get lonesome? [whoa-ho!] {lonesome ain't the word}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on a thirty day tour?

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# these quotes {} are Mark Volman...
# the other voice is probably Howard Kaylan and I can't work out
# what he is saying. It may be simply appropriate blues response
# mumbling.

When the P.A. system eats it,
^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# P.A. System is short for Public Address system. Before the days of
# good amps, mixers and monitors, bands used relatively crude set-
# ups for amplification. FZ complains about the P.A. system the
# Mothers used during the '68 European tour in the "Ahead of Their
# Time" CD booklet.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# About the time this album was put out, the trend in arena shows was to
# have an enormous and POWERFUL public address system (P.A. system), most of
# which were rented from sound and light companies. Not all such companies
# were reliable. Powerful amplification was EXTREMELY expensive in those days
# and many of the "fly by night" sound contractors would show up with a huge
# buch of plywood cabinets made to look like working speakers and rack panels
# filled with a few good power amps and a lot of broken stuff with the red
# lights wired up so they would look good.
# Frank was apparently referencing those performances where the rented
# sound equipment sounds like shit ("Eats It" in American slang) and as every
# road musician can attest to; not every performance goes entirely as rehearsed
# (as in:"And the band plays some of the most terrible-est shit you ('ve) ever
# known")
#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>
# The sense is right, but I think that "Eats it" refers to the point
# at which the Public Address system actually breaks down, as in what
# happens to you when you get a bad burrito and some rancid beer and
# Eat It.

#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)

# Well, I grew up in the Boston area, and "Eats it" basicly means IT SUCKS!
# So, if you apply that meaning to the song, FZ is saying the PA system sucks,
# and the band is playing like shit. Just my 2 cents.

Don't you better get a shot from the doctor for what the
Road Ladie do to you

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
# Means: get an injection agains the clap or whatever the Road Ladies give
# you. (This was written before AIDS came up.)
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Referencing, of course, getting an injection of penicillin from the doctor
# to cure the strain of venereal disease you picked up while boffin' groupies
# after the show.
# HEY anybody out there old enough to remember when sex didn't KILL YOU?

Twenty Small Cigars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is a really great ultra-cool jazz, in the same
# vein as "It must be a camel" from Hot Rats.
# The only problem is that it's too short.
#

The Nancy & Mary Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A fun jam, including a vocal drum solo by George Duke.
#

Tell Me You Love Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Nothing very special, but it became a Flo & Eddie Classic.
#

Would You Go All the Way?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A funny Flo & Eddie Song

Remember Freddie and Joe
The night you went to the show. (a monster movie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# There are a few lines from FZ intro to Roxy _Cheepnis_
#
# Cheepnis... lemme tell you something: do you like monster movies, anybody?
# (YEEAAH!) I love monster monster movies. I simply adore monster movies. And
# the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheapness, in case of monster
# movie, has nothing to do with the budget of the film -- althought it helps
# -- but true cheapness is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to
# the jaw of the giant spider...

The monster came out; everybody shout.
People all around you, screamin at the monster --
the monster from the USO.
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# United Service Organization. This is a partially federal, partially
# voluntary organization whose job it is to boost the morale of troops in the
# United States armed forces. The USO typically puts on shows (Bob Hope
# used to do one a year), maintains coffeehouses, puts on dances, provides
# counseling, etc. The song is a reference to the suspicion that female
# volunteers for the USO occasionally perform morale-boosting services of a
# more personal nature.
#
# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# United Service Organisation...I think they're the ones
# who provide "entertainment" for American troops...
# So - the monster is in the movie provided by this
# recreation-for-government-authorised-killers organisation.

Chunga's Revenge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Improvisation over a rather simple riff, but the
# wha-wha sax of Ian Underwood is really good.

The Clap
~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Offers some percussive relief after the hot title track,
# and FZ at the drums.

Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is really funny, including an
# Elvis inpersination and trombone by George Duke.

Hi and howdy doody.
I'm a union man; you can call me Rudy.
Any you boys not paid up on your cards? [huh?]
^^^^^
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# ... I think, as in, "Have you been paying your union dues?"
# (you get this AFM -- American Federation of Musicians -- card in the US).

to check and see
no wrong been done
that's one good reason
I carry a gun.

I hope the bulge
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# I envision Rudy as wearing a dark suit concealing a pistol in a
# shoulder holster.
#
# From: val...@soliton.physics.arizona.edu (Peter Valerio)
# Sounds to me like Frank is taking a common, everyday experience like
# concealing firearms and trying to make our inner children giggle and
# think about our (and in the case of the women, their) willies.
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# as in the bulge a gun makes in a wise guy's jacket. Plus it's kind of a play
# on the bulge that most rock stars are more concerned about.
#

Sharleena
~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Never really cared for this one, in any of the any released versions.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>#
# Why did he keep recording it? I guess he found songs like that fun
# to listen to as well as play, and Sharleena is certainly a good
# vehicle for highlighting Flo & Eddie's talents and is a logical
# extension of the Ruben & Jets/Valarie greasy teen age love
# song themes. He honestly LOVED stuff like that. For instance
# when I saw the Mothers in 1971, the final encore was a very
# slow, very straight version of the Shep & the Limelighters doo-wop
# classic "Daddy's Home".
# Back to the topic, I find the version of Sharleena on Playground
# Psychotics to be lots of fun to sing along with in the car.
# That "Sharleena-leena doodledooledoodledoodledoodledoo" stuff makes
# me want to sing every time.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
# [Why did he keep recording it?] So we'd appreciate the original that much
# more when he finally released it twenty-six years after the fact. [on
# _The Lost Episodes_]

FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
========================

Notes & Comments
ver.29-Sep-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

lyrics from _Plastic People_ songbook
were retyped for your pleasure by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

# Just Fillmore Rap To Start With
#
# From: pve...@vmark.com (Philippe Vezina)
# Yes, John and Yoko did appear with Frank and the Mothers at the same show
# that the Fillmore 71 album was recorded.They performed a song called
# 'Scumbag' which was basically all three of them screaming SCUMBAG at the
# top of their lungs.
# The John and Yoko album "Sometime in New York City" which came out in 1972,
# is a 2 record set. The first album is studio cuts and the second album is
# live. If you can grab an original or fairly old copy like mine, you will see
# when you pull out the sleeve for album number 2, that it is the ZAPPA
# Fillmore 71 album cover. The sleeve is an exact replica of the Zappa album
# cover, except John Lennon scribbled all over it and wrote down other stuff
# instead of what Frank had wrote "obviously John wrote the correct songs
# from that album". Also if you open up the album jacket, you'll see a nice
# picture of Zappa (with guitar) and John and Yoko onstage at that Fillmore
# show.
#
# From: j...@cbnewsb.cb.att.com (jeffrey.j.rocca)
# Yes, John and Yoko jammed with the Mothers at the Fillmore East. But it is
# not captured on the _Fillmore East, June 1971_ album. Two different mixes
# of the jam can be heard, one on John and Yoko's _Sometime in New York City_,
# the other on Zappa'a _Playground Psychotics_.
#

The Mud Shark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mud Sh-sh-shark

THE MUD SHARK DANCING LESSON!

My mind drifts back to a meeting, a chance meeting
in the Chicago O'Hare Airport
where the members of the Vanilla Fudge
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
told Don Preston about a home movie they made

# From:
# realname=Tim Bogert/Vanilla Fudge band member
# emailaddress=ejsc...@adnetsol.com
# message=The Mudshark Dance:
# Regarding the Fish Dance, it was originally done on her back. I remember
# she was laying down because she was sucking on Clive while I was kneeling
# next to him.

at the Edgewater Inn with a Mud Shark. I'm gonna tell you, this dance, the
Mud Shark, is sweeping the ocean!...

#
# From: ssh...@alesis1.usa.com
# I don't know if there is a dance or not, but the mud shark
# is about a band ( i think vanilla fudge, really) who caught
# a fish at the edgewater inn in seatlle, and procedded to
# plook some groupie with it. i think this is described in
# the real fz book. the story was told to a member other than
# frank, but supposedly the groupie person enjoyed it
# vigorously, identified with it strenuously, got up, dressed
# herself, and then thanked the band persons very much for
# doing this to her, and left.
# The interview with the guy at the edgewater, on playground
# psychotics, obviously took place after frank heard the
# story. frank seems to be hinting at what a person could do
# with a fish that they had caught the whole time. i also
# remember flo and eddie referring to the "Dance that would be
# sweeping the nation" (and the nation needs a good sweeping).
#
#
# From: ca...@brahms.udel.edu (Catherine M Leonard)
# I have a recording of Frank describing the Mudshark Dance to the audience.
# You open your legs, clasp your hands together & s q u a t ! To do it in
# 4/4 time, step left, step right, squat, rest. All the time you should have
# your hands together down by the knees. I'll have to check for the date, etc.
#
# From: rich.g...@suzys.altcit.eskimo.com (Rich Gregory)
# I have a bootleg where FZ coaches the audience on how to
# do this dance. He's got 'em all lined up standing, no, squatting in their
# seats w/ their hands between their legs. One hand between the legs to the
# person behind you, the other hand to the person in front of you (who's hand
# is between his leg back to you). The idea is to sort of duck walk & in
# unison with the music SQUAT at the appropriate time with everyone else.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Now that you mention it, I do remember Phlo & Eddie and several other
# bandmembers attempting this maneuver while Frank narrated from the side.
# It was a nice break from Nixon, Vietnam and Kent State. It was just plain
# idiotic looking! I REALLY wish I had a video tape of that show! Zappa
# showed us all that you could still have fun while surrounded by a world full
# of "plastic people".
#
#CC
# From: ra...@ark.btbg.sub.de (Ralf W. Stephan)
# Well, Frank says on 'Bebop Tango'(Roxy) that the BT will 'sweep/t(?)
# the ocean, right after the Mudshark did'.
#
# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)
# Also, on PlaygroundPsychotics, Frank interviews the desk
# manager at the Mudshark Hotel....Well, since my baby left me,
# I've found a new place to dwell, It makes a sort of Puget Sound...

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# On an (almost) related subject, the Vanilla Fudge (of Edgewater Inn fame)
# had an album called 'Rock and Roll' released sometime around 1968. One of
# the tracks on the album is called 'The spell that comes after'. The
# writer of this song is cited as 'Calvin Schenkel'. Bearing in mind the
# Mudshark episode, I wonder if it is the same Cal Schenkel? It's not a
# very common name....

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# As I posted on affz a couple of weeks ago, Playground Psychotics contains
# an interview by Frank of the manager of the Edgewater Inn. I consider this
# little cut to be essential to CC. The manager denies ever seeing any
# visual evidence of sexual activity with any of the fish that people catch
# from their balconies, though there's plenty of evidence that they catch the
# fish and just leave them to rot in the bathtub or on the floor. He also
# points out that a mudshark has sandy skin, which would make for an
# unpleasant encounter.
#
#BTW:-)))
# From: "L. Hirsch" <lve...@u.washington.edu>
# I just thought I'd post a bit about the Edgewater in case anyone's
# interested. If you come to Seattle, you just might want to stay there
# for the sole novelty of the whole mudshark experience. BUT, you should
# all be aware that it's a pretty cheezy hotel. It was recently renovated,
# so it looks a little prettier, but it's still pretty close to a Holiday
# Inn experience. Might I suggest going to the top of some building in town
# .. preferably not the Space Needle ($6.50 a pop) .. to simply look at the
# giant "E" that sits atop the inn.
# Apparently it actually used to be a nice hotel. My grandparents were
# very fond of staying there in the 60's. The Beatles stayed there during
# their first Seattle visit. As far as I know, you can still fish from
# your window.
# Not too exciting .. but there ya go. Enjoy!

What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay: well I get off bein' juked
^^^^^^^
With a baby octopus
An spewed upon with cream corn! AAH... UNH!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# I suspect something should be added to definition from my
# Dict. of American slang
# juke - v.i. To tour outside bars, usu. with one of the opposite sex;
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# juked - banged, porked, "penetrated"
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes--it means to penetrate carnally (at least the way I've heard it used).
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# To get off (American slang) - to enjoy, to orgasm, to begin to feel
# the effect of certain drugs. Juked is not common slang, but may be
# derivative of Jukebox, a coin operated machine that plays music.

An' my girlfriend, she digs it
With a hot YOOHOO bottle
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yoo-Hoo is an american (very american) soft drink. Non-carbonated and
# chocolate-flavored. It has a very high chemical content, but it's quite
# tasty. I haven't had one in years.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# YOOHOO is a dairy based chocolate beverage popular in New York

While somebody's screamin':
CORKS 'N' SAFETIES
PIGS 'N' DONKEYS

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I thought it was Cords 'n' Safeties, potentially referring to Bondage Gear
# Remember: The "groupie routine" was performed every night and it was
# always different. Stage #1 has a variant of it, as do many other Bootlegs.
# The routine incorporated many random elements and evolved over time. On
# Stage 1 it was just Cords 'n' Safeties over and over again.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Pigs and donkeys are supposedly favored animals for bestial acts.

You two chicks sound real far aout and groovy
Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
Mna-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...
Magic Fingers in the Bed (Picture it!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Anyone who's spent a lot of time in cheezy motels (the Mothers
# sure did!) will recognize all three of the items:
# -"Magic Fingers" is a type of coin-operated bed-vibrator. You put 25
# cents in the meter and the bedsprings & mattress vibrate for a
# set amount of time. I tried it once but it made me nauseous. FZ goes
# into more detail in the song "MAGIC FINGERS" from 200 MOTELS:
# "...Open up your pocketbook
# Pull another quarter out
# Drop it in the meter..."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This was supposed to be some sort of Massage, thus the name. This relates
# directly to the song "Magic Fingers" from 200 Motels (maybe Chunga's). Live
# version on Stage 5 or 6.

Wall-mounted TV screen:
Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "COFFEE-HOST" is a primitive do-it-yourself coffee maker. It
# consists of a heating coil and a carafe that looks like it hasn't
# been washed out since it was installed. It often came with a
# couple of packets of instant coffee. You plug it in,boil your water,
# pour in the coffe crystals and VOILA! a perfectly VILE brew.
# Generally, the best place to plug it in was the bathroom since at
# least there was a counter close to the electrical outlet. I'm
# convinced that COFFEE HOST was responsible for all those burn marks
# on the FORMICA counters in the bathrooms.

Formica's really keen!
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "FORMICA" is a durable laminated plastic substance generally used
# in countertops and some cheezy furniture. It comes in thousands of
# colors and designs. A similar version of it was known as "ARBORITE".
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# I'll assume the first is some sort of coffee maker; Formica is the
# stuff that kitchen and bathroom countertops are made out of. It
# frequently looks something like bad marble, or is of a color found
# naturally nowhere on Earth
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Formica is a tradename for a cheap melamine laminate used in
# countertops.

Funny you should mention it:
Our new single just made the charts this week
With a bullet! With a bullet!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# A song that was rocketing to the top of the Billboard charts
# was highlited by a "bullett" in the margin of the chart. I bet
# HAPPY TOGETHER had a bullet.
#

# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# Billboard used to put a bullet next to a charted record that had moved up
# some measurable amount from its position on the previous week's chart. (Some
# phallic significance just might be intended here.)
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# In Billboard's ,Top 40 list, songs that are climbing the charts rapidly
# are marked with a bullet, which is really just a large dot. This indicates
# that you're *really* hot shit.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Rolling Stone magazine lists a chart of the top 40 or so songs in sales.
# They put a black dot, called a bullet, next to songs rapidly rising in
# popularity.

Bwana Dik
~~~~~~~~~

I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyound your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..
^^^^^^^^^

# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Over-the-counter pimple medicine (or zit cream). I used it when I was
# a pimply teen even though it seemed useless.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Clearasil is a brand of acne (pimple) medication cream. Poetic metaphor
# for the teenage groupie.
#
#Mockery sung on a them of
#
# From: jar...@mail1.sas.upenn.edu (Jason M Arvey)
# Also Sprach Zarathustra, or Thus Spake Zarathustra, based on the
# philosophical work by Freidrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (watch the spelling very
# carefully...) by Richard Strauss.

Girls from all over the world
Love to write my name on the toilet walls
At the Whisky a Go Go
For I am Bwana Dik
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# I think I read somewhere (interview? Real FZ BOOK?) that BWANA DIK
# was the title bestowed on the member (no pun intended) of the band or
# crew who had the best success with groupies. It literally means
# something like "BOSS DICK".
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes, "Bwana" is a word used by b-movie natives when talking to the "boss
# white man" or the "BIG man." Bwana has come to mean anything big.
# Hence, we are talking about an exceptionally well-endowed man.
#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# Check out "The real Frank Zappa Book" for Franks explanation of "Bwana Dik"
# (In that chapter where he explains it to the court, I think.)

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# In 200 motels movie Howie Kaylan also boasted about being real Bwana
# Dik monster. And Aynsley "Binoculars" Dunbar too.

Latex Solar Beef
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Acetylene Nirvana
Hemorrhoids
Talkin' 'bout your hemorrhoids, Baby

# Is it usual surrealist stuff or is there some sense behind it?

Iridescent naugahyde python gleaming
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Naugahyde is the fabric equivalent of Formica. It's a sort of vinyl,
# fake-leather fabric. It's what we call "wipe-clean" and, like
# Formica, comes in many colours, many of which do not appear in
# nature.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Fake leather. It is to leather what Formica is to marble.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Suede-like polyester fabric often associated with bean-bag seats.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Naugahyde is a tradename for a soft plastic used in furnature. There
# used to be absurd commercials on the TV about the mythical Naugabeast
# the plastic came from.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# _Absolutely Free_
# Brown Shoes Don't Make It
#
# Every desire is hidden away, in a drawer, in a desk, by a
# Naugahyde chair on a rug where they they walk and drool
#
# _Joe's Garage_
# Stick It Out
#
# Sy Borg: Touch the chrome. Feel the chrome
# See the screeming. Hot black steaming
# Iridescent naugahyde python screaming
# Steam Roller!

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The bit about Heal the Chrome is a knock off of Tommy that is only on the
# Joes Garage version.

Steam roller

All groupies must bow down
In the sacred presence of
The Latex Solar Beef
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Well, I'm not sure if these terms have some type of meaning together
# (such as a brand name), but latex is a synthetic rubber material (if I
# remember correctly).
#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
# Latex is the french word for condom, after the particular type of rubber
# it's been made of. There's a french comic advocating safe sex called 'Les
# aventures du latex'. So, imagine a 'Condomed Solar Beef'...

Do you Like My New Car?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- ... oh gawd... oh, do you like my new car? I'm ah... my Dad just gave it
to me for graduation....
- Ah yeeaah! It's a... it's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic, ah...

# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# BTW, I've never really gotten the point of the part of "Do You Like My New
# Car" in which the name of the hall the band is playing in is used as the
# name of the car ("It's a Fillmore, isn't it? Real futuristic..." "It's
# not only a Pavilion, it's a PAULEY Pavilion!")
#
# From: cav...@vnet.ibm.com (Keith Shiner)
# Well, how shall I put this.......The hall "is" the car.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Yeah, that's what I figured...but that means there were a fuck of a lot of
# people in the back seat...
#
# From: JRT...@prodigy.com (Raymond Ricker)
# Yes, indeed, the hall was the car and in the case of the Fillmore East
# "real futuristic" is a facetious jab to the hall's future (it closed
# shortly after the concert). As a matter of dumb trivia - the last group
# to officially play the Fillmore East was the rock group Kiss.

-"Come across.."
- All that's true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's Cream Soda...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
or a CEL-RAY!... but! we are *not* groupies! No matter what you think...
^^^^^^^
# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# Dr. Brown's is yet another brand name. The Company is still around,
# and still makes Cel-Ray soda (it's not _that_ bad). Soda trivia (my
# source is long since forgotten): When soda first started being
# flavored, they were all vegetable-flavored. The drug-laced artificial
# flavors didnt' come until later. Cel-Ray is out last link to a past
# where vegetable-flavored sodas really were all the rage.
# I think the point in the song is that he's SO deviant that not only
# does he like it with mainstream Cream Soda, but he even digs
# Cel-Ray. Yum.
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# Dr. Brown's Cream soda - I assume the bottle has a shape to her liking
# Celery, you know, long vegetable...
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Carbonated soft drinks that used to be found only in the New York area.
# Now imagine a soda with the taste of celery (sort of), and you've got the
# basic concept of Cel-ray.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Dr. Brown's is a carbonated beverage line which originated in NY at the turn
# of the century and, like the french phonetic corruption of a short cloth neck
# ornament, is currently in resurgence. Creme Soda and Cel-ray are two of the
# most popular flavors. I recommend them.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)#

# Not really that exciting at all. Dr. Browns makes soda's (soft drinks).
# Cream is one of the most popular (Basically Vanilla). Root Beer and Black
# Cherry. They also have (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) Celery flavored soda,
# brand named Cel-Ray. It tastes just like what you would expect celery
# soday to taste like.
#
# From: re...@watson.ibm.com (Diane Reese)
# Cel-Ray is indeed celery-flavored soda; it's made with celery seed,
# however, and has that edge to its taste. I personally think there is
# almost nothing as thirst-quenching as a heavily iced glass of Cel-Ray on
# a hot afternoon. It's still available; it's the most, um, "esoteric" of
# the Dr. Brown's line.

-"You see, there seems to be some kind of a communication problem, honey...
because I... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know an'... an'
I want some ACTION... what I'm talkin' about is, I wanna... a-a-steaming...
succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a...
with... how shall I put this... what say we hop in the trunk of your
Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF..."
^^^^^^^^
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# I think it's just a joke because it was such a cruddy little AMC vehicle
# with a very small hatch in the back. Probably just a funny thought that
# anyone would try to make it in such a confined (not to mention unromantic)
# space.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# There's absolutely NOTHING exciting about having a Gremlin, which I
# guess is the point. It's a cheap pseudo-sporty AMC car that I
# think came with a hatchback. It's just the kind of thing a
# suburban groupie wanna-be would have her father buy for her (along
# with a COLOR-NOTE ORGAN, ha ha) .
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# The Gremlin is a rather silly-looking car from the early 70's... Little
# box, usually came in green or some other loud color.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# It was a real cheap, cheesy American Motors product. It had no trunk.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The AMC Gremlin was a very funny looking car. You RARELY see them on the
# road anymore. Europeans probably wouldn't find them funny, as it looks
# kind of like a pregnant Citroen. Nothing exciting at all, they were very
# mundane cars in the 70's although perhaps they were semi-chic in 71.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Gremlin was an unfortunate name for an auto. A gremlin is a evil
# spirit or sprite that makes mechanical things break down. It was an
# early hatch back design, making it possible to literally jump in
# the trunk.

- Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a man...
picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo canes!
three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in
the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with
^^^^^^^^^
pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until

# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# enchilada - "inch - ill - la - da" like a burrito but usually covered in
# sauce.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Tortilla with goodies wrapped inside. Try one with a Creme Soda.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# That's "One enchilada" - it goes with "3 unreleased recordings.."
# Yes, it's mexican food. Something encased in a corn torilla and usually
# baked and covered in some kind of sauce.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Yes en-chill-ah-da is a phallic cylinder wrapped in a tortilla,
# and covered in cheese and sauce. A good one is pretty tasty and filling.

Oooh! my god, I... I... I can't stand it! ... I mean...
I mean, do you understand the implications of what I'm saying?
I CAN'T STAND IT!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
OH NO!!! ... o my god!

# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# I think he's actually quoting "Going Home" as performed by Ten Years After
# at Woodstock (a famously/infamously indulgent performance, often referred
# to at the time). The "feet on fire" bit was reportedly pinched from a
# feeble nightclub soul singer who was trying to be James Brown...unless
# Howie's really thinking of James Brown here. The "sofa" bit is off mike
# and really buried. I think he's saying "I can't stand it...it's SO HARD."
# Or maybe "So HOT." (Kinda reminds me of the squealing climax of "Fire
# Poem" from the Crazy World Of Arthur Brown LP, right before "Fire" itself
# starts up. "Lawd it's SO HOT, let me out, please!" or something like
# that. Compare it for yourself...the similarity is pretty funny. "Fire!
# Arthur Brown, in person!" [Flo and/or Eddie, the Casino, Montreux,
# 12/4/71])

(all sing "Happy Together")

# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# As far as I know this was truly a hit single. Unless memory fails, The
# Turtles are the one-hit wonder associated with this song. (oh no. Now
# I've offended all the die-hard Turtles Fans out there. Both of them.)
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
# Let me guess... Ethan was born after 1970. I was listening to AM radio in
# the late 1960s, and I can verify that "Happy Together" (1967), "She'd
# Rather Be With Me" (1967), "Elenore" (1968), and "You Showed Me" (1969)
# were bona fide hits for the Turtles. Undoubtedly other Turtles records
# reached the low end of the charts, but those four I remember well. "Happy
# Together", "She'd Rather Be With Me", and several other songs recorded by
# the Turtles were written by Gary Bonner and Alan Gordon, both formerly in
# a band called the Magicians. As for the number of die-hard Turtles fans
# out there, there's enough of them to make Flo and Eddie decide not to
# jeopardize their career by rejoining Zappa in 1988. "I mean, we didn't
# work fifteen years to clean up our image to do one tour and destroy
# it."--Howard Kaylan, 1990.
#
# From: jrob...@xmission.com (Jeff Robison)
# My, how 18 years can change Mr. Kaylan's opinion. I just picked up a
# white label promo copy of "The Phlorescent Leech & Eddie" (Reprise MS2099,
# 1972) at a used record shop. Here's a quote from the bio insert:
# ----------------
# MODEST APPRAISAL
#
# "We're not afraid to play in any band," they said in the English
# interview, "if any band would have us. Frank took the chance. And
# he's paying for it now with his career." In addition to hampering
# Frank Zappa, Howard and Mark have also hampered T. Rex, on most of
# whose recent hits they have provided background vocals. Now they're
# out to get themselves.
# ----------------
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# `They must be the writers of the tune. It most certainly hit the charts
# with a bullet. From the "Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock":
#
# The Turtles:
# ...
# The Turtles weren't content, however, and were about to break up; but first
# they released "Happy Together", which proved to be their biggest hit,
# and one of 1967's Top Ten records."
#
# The entry also notes that Jim Pons was in the Turtles, and followed
# Volman & Kaylan to the Mothers and later to Flo & Eddie.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Not sure who the songwriters were, but it was a BIG hit. It was made
# famous by the Turtles, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman who joined Frank's
# band to do more outrageous things. The only reason they sing this song is
# out of self-mockery.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# This song ( in accordance with vin...@ee.tut.fi< Vinksu Chandrasekhar>)
# is officially credited to Bonner/Gordon .
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
# He chose it because it was the biggest hit by the former band of his two
# vocalists. Mark Volman (aka Flo) and Howard Kaylan (aka Eddie) have been
# singing together for ages. They had a surf band called the Crossfires,
# which evolved into the Turtles. When the Turtles broke up, they joined the
# Mothers. After the Rainbow incident, they recorded at least five albums as
# Flo and Eddie. In recent years they have been working as djs and touring
# as the Turtles.
# "Happy Together" was released in February, 1967, so I don't imagine it was
# high on the charts anymore in 1970.

Robbert Heederik

unread,

Dec 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM12/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part3

| part 3 of 9 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

200 MOTELS
==========

Notes & Comments
ver.05-April-96

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics was originaly transcribed by
gordo <CK7...@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>

corrected and reorganized with the help of
_Plastic People. Corrected Version_
songbook by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)

special thanks to
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
"David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>

M - Mark Vollmam,
H - Howard Kaylan,
Jm - Jimmy Carl Black
Jf - Martin Lickert
T - Theodor Bikel
Ch - Chorus
Sp - Female Soprano
Tr - Male Tenore
GC - Good Concience
BC - Bad Concience
Evr - Everybody :-)

Semi-fraudulent/Direct-from-Hollywood Overture
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T: Ladies and gentlemen!
Ch: 200 motels
T: 200 motels.. Life on the road.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# It seems that an explanation of Mr. Rance Muhammitz heavy german accent
# can be found on various bootleg tracks of Flo'n'Eddie era. Here goes the
# prince of boots... The Swiss Cheese :-)

#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
#

# And addressed them formaly
# With the little song in Deutsch
# Because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
#
# Take it away God
#
# Gib zu mir
# Etwas Fußbodenbelag
# Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
#
# So if we remember that Rance Muhammitz is just one of the Devil's many names
# we must admit that accordingly to FZ model of Heaven and Hell the mother
# tongue of the angels should be deutsch! Ich bin Maroon !!!!!!!

Mystery Roach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: How long? How long?
Till that MYSTERY ROACH be arrivin' soon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo

# The Concise Oxford Dictionary
#
# roach 1. n. small freshwater fish allied to carp
# 2. n. coackroach
# 3. (sl.) marijuanna cigarette-butt
# So the question arised. Who is approachin' soon? The freshwater mudshark?
# Or stinky dope butt for Jeff Simmons? Or are there any kind of little
# home pets ( see 2 ) in USA motels?
#
# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# Jeff Simmons was a pothead, I should know, I got stoned with him in London
# during 200 Motels, so I think it's more likely a stinky dope butt.

Mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery,
mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery, roach!

Tuna Fish Promenade
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ch: All the people in the Sandwich Town
think the place is great.
What if part of it's crumbling down?
Most of them prob'ly won't be 'round ...

H: They'll either be dead..
M: or moved to San Francisco.

H: ( Where everybody thinks they're Heavy Business.
But it's just a Tuna Sandwich from another catering service. )

# from _The Real FZ Book_
# "San Francisco in the mid-sixties was very chauvinistic, and ethnocentric.
# To the Friscoids' way of thinking, everything that came from THEIR town
# was REALLY IMPORTANT ART, and anything from anyplace else ( espesially L.A.)
# was dogshit. Rolling Stone magazine helped to promote this fiction,
# nationwide."
# p.68

The Sealed Tuna Bolero
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H:
from a matron in La Habre
^^^^^^^^
# From: "Charles H. Ulrich" <CUL...@POMONA.CLAREMONT.EDU>
# La Habra, a city in Orange Country, California, just north of Fullerton.

with a blown-out crack who dies to suck the fringe off Jimmy Carl Black.
^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# 'Crack' in this case refers to 'Vagina'

Lonesome Cowboy Burt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT.

Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jm: Come on in this place

an' I'll buy you a taste.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# I will buy you a drink

You can sit on my face.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# I will perform cunnilingus on you

Where's my waitress?
OPAL, YOU HOT LITTLE BITCH!
^^^^^
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# That not very common in english spoken world girl's name is appeared to be
# directly from Frank Lancaster boyhood.
#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk (Martyn Dryden)
# Transcribed from BBC Television tribute movie interview, Dec 18, 1993
# FZ:
# I hadn't been raised in an environment where there was a lot of music
# in the house. This couple that owned the chili place, Opal and
# Chester, agreed to ask the man who serviced the jukebox to put in
# some of the song titles that I liked, because I promised that I would
# dutifully keep pumping quarters into this thing so I could listen to
# them. So I had the ability to eat good chili and listen to Three
# Hours Past Midnight by Johnny Guitar Watson, for most of my junior and
# senior years.
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# Actually, the true derivation of the name Opal is the fact that it is still
# quite common for rednecks and other rustic country folk to name their
# daughters after gemstones and other objects of value. A social
# anthropologist might make the argument that, at least in the beginning,
# many of these people started out being so poor that a "grand name" was the
# only grand thing they could give to their female children.
# The name Opal is a right and proper name when one wishes to put a
# "down-home country aroma" on something. Other names which have equal spin
# are: Pearl, Crystal, Ruby, Viola.
#
#CC
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru:-)))))
# It's interesting to note that in the movie, Devil aka Rance Muhammitz
# also don't mind to be called Opal Hot Little Bitch. He appeared behind
# Lonesome Cowboy of the group Jimmy Carl Black right after his final Opal cry,
# and tryed to sale Mr.Black bottle of beer for his eternal soul. Not long
# ago he offered very similar deal - cheesburger for soul to Mr.Jeff Simmons.
# No one agreed. It seems that poor bastard played low. The real market price
# of 20 century soul was correctly estimated later ( see _Titties and Beer_
# from FZ in New York )

Would You Like a Snack?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: Went on the road
for a month touring.

#CC
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru:-)
# Of course it's BWS's Holiday in Berlin with rascal vocal of two clowns.
# See also BWS N&C.

Shove It Right In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: She chooses all the clothes
she'll wear tonight to dance in.
(She dances, she prances, she dances, she prances)
The places that she goes
are filled with guys from groups,
yeah-yeah-yeah
Waiting for a chance to break her pants in.

PROVOCATIVE SQUATS!
Gum me on m'lunga
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.ru )
# The line is from corrected by FZ copy of Plastic People Songbook, so no
# reason to talk about thickness of an earwax :-)))

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# I always heard this line as "Will help me up the ladder"--i.e., achieve
# higher groupie status. But if it's this way in the printed lyrics, then I
# dunno. Maybe it's from the same language as "Krega Bondolo"???
#
# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# No, that's the right line, it all depends on how you hear what you hear.
# I'm assuming you know that the lyrifcs to the infamous "Louie, Louie" were
# totally incomprehensible and so people made up their own salacious ones?

Dental Hygeine Dilemma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jf: Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared
^^^^^^^

# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# Donovan Leitch, of "Atlantis" fame. His daughter, Iona Skye Leitch (who
# I believe now goes by just "Iona Skye") is a fairly well-known movie actor
# in the US. She was in "The River's Edge" a few years back.
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# He was a peace and love version of Bob Dylan. Major hits in 67-68, appeared
# at the Bath festival in 1970 and bored everybody shitless.
#
#CC

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# "Remember Donovona, the guy with the brocate coat? He used to sing to you
# about atlantis.."
# (From: "The Blue Light", "Tinseltown Repellion")

Jf: In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music.
_He_ eats!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.ru )
# HE SUCKS! ( See Chunga's Revenge N&C _Road Ladies_ )

Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# The founder of Atlantic Records and a big wheel in the music business

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# One of the Ertegun brothers, who founded Atlantic Records, which put
# out some great jazz and R&B in the '50s & '60s. The other brother's name
# is Nesushi . I believe they are of Arab descent. Ahmet Zappa was named
# for Ahmet Ertegun.

motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any
commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United
States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What
an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this
elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's
^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.ru )
# In the movie this infamous liqiud is a content of a bottle labeled
#
# -----------------------
# | SHMERTZ |
# | |
# | Golden Rot Gut |
# | BEER |
# -----------------------
#

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# I think it was a corruption of German/Yiddish "Schmerz," which means ache
# or pain.
#
# once again From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.ru :-)
# May be I am wrong but in Russian Shmert' is Death. The Russian comes to my
# mind just because of three cyrillic characthers on the front of unforgetable
# Rance cap .
# O|O A K is a Russian spelling of the word FUCK.

M&H: What can I say about this elixir?

M: Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# In the movie Flo'n'Eddie part of _Dental Hygeine Dilemma_ existed
# as separate piece. And can be heard ( while multicoloured Jeff very
# unnaturly simulating drug induced madness ) right before Teodor Bikel
# final _Strictly Genteel_ benediction :-).
#

BC: He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense.
Oh, Atlantis.
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# This was the title of an album by Donovan, referred to above. I think
# Donovan is used throughout the album to define a plastic, definitely
# non-hip musician type. There is no doubt that he started out well, but
# became the sort of 'pop' star so often produecd in Britian who mimics
# American styles, not too well, and with little substance. Cliff Richard is
# another example of this. You can always tell, they sing with American accents
# even if they've never been further West than Uxbridge.

M: That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got

M: Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# The mysterious creatures from _Just Another Band From L.A._. The last one
# some folks say ( despite being dressed like Jim Pons ) looks like Zubin
# Mehta :-)))
# BTW, many people think that the last is not Hoch
# From: Bruce Lowenthal (lowenth...@tandem.com)
# A "Studebaker Hawk" is a type of car that went out of production around
# 1960. Studebaker was one of the oldest US companies and manufactured
# Conastoga wagons which were used to cross the plains in the mid 1800's.
# While Studebaker made what many thought were "funky" cars the Hawk seemed
# pretty "snazzy" and perhaps FZ. In any case it is pretty clear that
# "Studebaker Hawk" was named after the car.
#
# OK, but it still wasn't named , it's a pun, because in mentioned above
# corrected by FZ Plastic People Songbook _Studbaker Hawk_ of the original
# transcribing rewrited by Frank own hand on _Studebacher Hoch_.
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# Yes, but it's BOTH a pun and the name of a car. This same bird-pun idea
# was used later in Act III of Joe's Garage for the song "Packard Goose". A
# "Packard" was another defunct automobile of an earlier age.

Does This Kind of Life Look Interesting to You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BC: Does this kind of life look interesting to you? Night after night, dinners
with Herb Cohen. Thrill-packed, fun-filled evenings on the French Riviera
at the MIDEM convention.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# I don't know what it stands for but I believe it's kinda pop music festival
# for guys like Herb Cohen to sell some Hot Meats, Hot Zits and Hot Ritz.
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# Exactly. It is the music business equivalent of the Cannes film festival.

A big tie, the whole bit. Watch Mutt eat, and Leon
^^^^ ^^^^^
# From: gordo <CK7...@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>
# On pages 67-8 of _The Real Frank Zappa Book_, I just noticed this:
#
# "Eventually they became joint managers of our band, with a contract
# negotiated 'on behalf of the group' by Herb's brother, an attorney named
# Martin (Mutt) Cohen."
# So maybe it is "Mutt" and maybe that has something to do with it.

# Who's Leon????

can't collect unemployment. A dog, a car, an epidemic of body lice with
your own record company, your name on the door, electric buzzer to the
inner office, and Ona tits, and a three month supply of German bookings
^^^
# From: moam...@primenet.com (Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo)
# Ona was one of Frank's secretaries, and answered the phones they set up for
# UNITED MUTATIONS (which was essentially The Mothers' fan club). I used to
# talk to her on occasion in 1971, before Zappa decided to close up United
# Mutations. She was very friendly, but that's all I remember about her.
# YES, the song's reference is to ONA'S TITS! (whom I unfortunately never had
# the pleasure of meeting...)

feed the geese. One thousand green business cards, with your name and the
wrong address. Plus six royalty statements, inspected and customized by
ran toon tan han toon frammet and Dee.
^^^
# From: moam...@primenet.com (Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo)
# Dee is Herb Cohen's wife.
#
#CC
# This straight member of the executive board :-) was also mentioned later
# ( and with her husband on _Bongo Fury_ Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy
#
# It might seems strange for Herb and Dee
# Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy

with tickets on Air Rangoon.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?
Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?

She left her place after midnight,
she drove to the club.
You know that her and her partner,
came here lookin' for love.
They want a guy from a group
That's got a thing in a charts
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
They will give him their hearts.

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# The Easy Teenage New York version of this Hard Centerville stuff can be
# found on Fillmore East, June 1971 album ( see _Bwana Dik_ and _Do You Like
# My New Car_ )

FAM-BAM-YAK-A-TA-TAHHH!

Penis Dimension
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M: Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're
at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even wearing
any underwear your being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,
and looks you up and down and he says uh,

H: "Eight inches or less?"

M: Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn
around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got
to tell him these words:

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# In the movie this did not seque into philosophical _What Will This Evenig..._.
# Instead of this very mundane face of Ringo Starr aka Larry The Dwarf
# appeared on the screen to inform us all ( sorry for earwax :-)
# I stuff three pairs of socks and a bottle down in front of
# my pants

What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: WHAT WILL THIS EVENING
BRING ME THIS MORNING?

A succulent fat one!
A mod little flat one,
maybe a hot one (to give me the clap!)
^^^^^
maybe a freak who gets off with a strap.

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# On Chunga's Revenge this hot one was from Minneapolis ( see Road Ladies ),
# on Joe's Garage roman catholic pussy christened Carmenita Scarfone
# ( Catholic Girls ) :-)))))))))))
#
# From: Bruce Lowenthal (lowenth...@tandem.com)
# No, No [it's not just VD]. There's a danger of missing some CCC with this
# error. Since the mid 16th century, the clap has been specific in English to
# gonorrhoea (the final o is missing in standard US spelling), the disease
# caused by the bacterium _Neisseria gonorrhoeae_. The clap is not to be
# confused with syphilis (the pox, the French pox, the Spanish pox etc).
# Conceptual continuity comes in a number of levels with the clap. First
# there's the delightful percussion piece (remember FZ started with drums)
# on Chunga's Revenge. Second, note that _N gonorrhoeae_ is a spherical
# bacterium, ie a coccus shape, hence called the gonococcus. And its
# symptoms include a burning sensation on urinating. It can also spread and
# infect the testes: ie 'Why does it hurt when I pee' on Joe's Garage
# referring to the 'gono-co-co coccus' that makes 'my balls feel like a
# pair of maracas'. Third, since World War I there has been a triad of
# 'crabs, cooties and the clap' (US and others soldiers did the vectoring
# around the world) which obviously continued in the groupie world that FZ
# got into in the late '60s. One of his biog's reports (from Pamela Z, I
# think) that FZ caught crabs (ie pubic lice). Who knows about the other
# two, but there are several references to cooties (body lice in general)
# in addition to the clap.

A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sp: Why don't you strap on this here bunch of cardboard boxes daddy-o?

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# In the movie there was really cardboard boxes with nun suit painted on
# them. And Ruth Underwood really lured Motorhead ( The Penis Replica Vacuum
# Cleaner operator :-( to strap on.
# But the real question - can anyone explain the idea behind this nun
# paraphernalia in the movie. What did all this Keith Moon provocative squats
# mean?

Sp: Pink gums. Stumpy gray teeth.
Ch: Dental floss.
Sp: Gets me hot. Want to watch a dental hygiene movie?

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# Later after this well done dental hygien propoganda stuff :-). Frank
# decided to make money on this ignited by his music desire to chew forever:-)
# See Over_Nite Sensation's Dental Floss tycoon song _Montana_ :-)))))

Magic Fingers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

H: HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

Well, there are a lot of reasons why I'd drag a girl such as yourself
back to this plastic hotel room ... and rip you off for spare change
to run a ...to run a vibrating machine attached to this queen-size,
bulk-purchase, kapok-infested, do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law
type bed and, and make you take off all your little clothes ... until
you are nearly stark raving nude. ( save for your chrome-with-heavy-
duty-leather-thong Peace Medallion) and make you assume a series of
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# Yes, very common indeed [ for Vietnam era]. As illustrated on the steel
# helmet in the 'Apocalypse Now' movie posters. However it predated Vietnam,
# originally being the symbol used by the British Campaign for Nuclear
# Disarmament.

marginally erotic poses involving a plastic chair and an old guitar
strap while I did a wee-wee in your hair ... and beat you with a pair
^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# It means that he intends to urinate on her head. The term is both a noun
# and a verb, and as a noun means both urine and the organ which delivers
# it :-)

# From: ck7...@albnyvms.bitnet (C. Gordon Keeble (gordo))

# "did a wee-wee" Childrens phrase for urinated. Wee-wee is sometimes used
# as a synonym for dick too.

Dew on the Newts We Got
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ch: Dew on the newts we got. Newt money dew.
It's a payment on the rental for the dewy little newts we got.
We got 'em dewy. Left 'em in the yard all night,
though they didn't get uptight.
The little vixens, the saucy little vixens,
^^^^^ ^^^^^^
I hope they didn't get pissed off.
I know that they did not, did not,
I know that they did not dash off into the night.

# It seems that in BTHW _What Kind of Girl_ this word is a synonym of
# a whore
# This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
# Spoo over her lap
# Is it so here too?

The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tr: The girl wants to fix him some broth.
Sp: Tinselcock!
Ch: Tinselcock!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Charles H. Ulrich" <CUL...@POMONA.CLAREMONT.EDU>
# Tinsel is long, narrow, strips of foil used to decorate Christmas trees.
# It is also known as "icicles".

#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)

# I'd heard from Janet Ferguson Hof about the making of 200 Motels. Janet
# was the blond groupie in the movie. There was a little car shaped like a
# penis and covered with foil that was to be used in a scene which was never
# shot. Ringo Starr put the little car in his backyard.

Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courderoy Ponce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sp: Broth reminds me of nuns.
Ch: ( Nuns... Nuns...)
Sp: I see them smashing with rulers
disciplining munchkin cretins.
Tortured munchkins, tortured munchkins
I wish irish catholic victims.

# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>

# This all seems to relate to the harsh discipline and repressed
# sexuality of Catholic parochial schools. These schools mainly
# turn out good little Catholics, but when they fail, they sometimes
# fail spectacularly, producing twisted personalities like FZ and
# George Carlin.]

Strictly Genteel (the finale)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T: This, as you might have guessed, is the end of the movie. The entire cast
is assembled here at the Centerville Recreational Facility to bid farewell
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# Early in the movie the placed was called by Larry the Dwarf
# The Reorientational Facility ( erected to bring about the final solution to
# the orchestra question ), the lecture goes like this:
#
# Hello there... When you go on tour with musical group it's possible that
# any town [can? be? seen?] like this, whatever it's large or small or busy or
# nothing happend in it. The reason for this is quit simple. A musician if you
# consider the normal pattern of modern civilized life is on the outside of
# the road. He doesn't build things, he doesn' work regular hours like a
# decent God-fearing citizens and the life he leads in many ways seems useless
# and irrelevant to those of us who prefered a quiet evening in front of the
# television and a bottle of beer .
# Amazing as it might seems to some of us musician's basical physical needs
# are just like [of?] real people. Many of them study for years, learnig to
# play the violin, for instance, only to be rewarded with humdrum job in the
# forth row of the symphonic string section. That's why the goverment have
# constructed at great expanse this experimental reorientation facility to
# find the way perhaps to retrain this useless musicians [???] fiddles and
# horns the reasons to exist in modern world, a chance of happy and more
# productive life, some [send?] to the militry, some [????] and some disappear in
# the middle of the night on the special training assigned to them.
#
# So it seems that when time comes for Joe's Garage the main idea was ten
# years old.

Ch: Help everybody, so they all get some action,
some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction.

M&H: Reach out your hand to the girl in the dog book,
the girl in the pig book, and the one with the horse.

# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# This refers to porno magazines and his invitation to sexually enjoy
# yourself....literally ;-)))); ie. go out and enjoy yourself after watching
# 200 Motels
#
#CC
# From: wi...@physics.att.com (David Windt)
#
# In the (instrumental) MAJNH version of this song, when they get to the end
# of this verse, right after the word "horse", Walt Fowler plays that little
# trumpet diddy that they play at the racetrack, you know, when they announce
# "The horses are on the track..."

M&H: The Swedish apparatus with a hood and a bludgeon
with a microwave oven. "Honey, how do it feel"

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@kpbank.ru)
# Accordingly to the Keith Moon, dressed up like Nun in the movie,
# this is special means to make your cock monstrous enough.

M&H: We're all going to get wasted.
We're all going to get twisted.
We're all going to get wasted.
^^^^^^^
We're all going to get twisted.
^^^^^^^
H: And I am definitely going to get. . .

M&H REAMED

^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# ...I think it's more likely that getting "out of it", "bent", "reamed",
# "wasted", and "twisted" all referred to getting drunk on alcohol and/or
# stoned on marijuana. But in 1970 I was thirteen years old and unfamiliar
# with most of these terms, so I'm basing my interpretation on later usage
# and on context.
#
# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# Yes, absolutely correct!

JUST ANOTHER BAND FROM L.A.
==========================

Notes and Comments
ver.29-Sep-96

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

Words are just another
International Copyright Violation Effort
of
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>
and
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

Special thanks to
sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
and
"Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.

# From the album front cover
# "Any visual similarity between the cover of this album and the "Uncle Meat"
# illustrated booklet ( not to mention RUBEN & THE JETS ) is thoroughly
# intentional and contains 4 secret clues."

#
# From: mi...@cico.com (Michael Heth)

# It worked !, in this case, anyway.
# First, the word LAS meant "the" in Spanish in the same way that Los Lobos
# means "The Wolves". So it was "The Mothers".
# RIFA was some sort of "exclamation" used by the "Pachucos" (probably while
# "cruising").
# The five handed star was a "Snat" sound balloon to show that the "Snat" had
# a finger snapping sound.
# And finally the part that worked so beautifully, was the 4 secret clues in
# tiny print to make you wonder. It's a childish type of joke along the lines
# of "made you look, made you look!!" and it's just the type of stuff that
# made Franks so much fun to listen to and "participate" with.
# I've got 14 secrets clues so far, how about you? (Remember, it's all one
# big note).
#
# From: alo...@lune.math.tau.ac.il (Alon Wasserman)
# The cover of R&TJ is similar in style to the JABFLA cover. In addition,
# both have a 5-handed star with the letters SNAT.

Billy the Mountain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy the Mountain
Billy the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# Don't know about Rosamond, but Gorman is at the top of "The Grapevine;"
# that real big, steep mountain north of L.A. on the route 5 freeway.

# Below is a first draft for a map of Montainin's journey.
#
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Hey! ... Here is my interpretation, (not drawn to scale):
#
#
# o
# Palmdale
# ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ......;;;;|||||
# = - = - ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |||||||||||||||
# - San Fernando \ |||| Mojave |||
# = Valley - = Mountainins |||| desert |||
# - = - = - = - |||||||||||||||
# = - = - = - = |||||;;;;;;
# -- o
# \ o Glendale
# \ Topanga o
# \ _ Irwindale
# \ o
# | Downtown L.A.
# \
# Pacific | o
# Ocean \ Lawndale
# ---\
# -----\
# \
# \-
# \
#
#
# For a real, modern, accurate representation of the landmarks
# in this song we should get copyright permissions from the Thomas Bros.
# map people, scan the appropriate sections, and highlight the points of
# interest. Now who's the attorney in this group?

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Hey, Rob, I don't know, but look, what a beautiful map I found
# between pp.29-31 of David Walley's book _No Commercial Potential_
#
# Antelope Valley
# ^^ ===============
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Mojave
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ +----------------+
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ | Edwards Air |
# ^^ ^^ ^ | Force Base |
# ^^ ^^ ^ | |
# ^^ ^^o^ ^^ o +----------------+
#^^ ^^ Gorman ^^ Rosamond
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Lancaster
# ^^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Palmdale o Sun Village
# ^^^ ^^ ^^ ^
# ^^ ^^ ^
# ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^
# So all it was just a few miles away from little Frankie hometown. Woow.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# As we know from the song, Billy the Mountain resided "between lovely
# Rosamond and Gorman," two dinky towns in the vicinity of the teenaged
# Frank's hometown of Lancaster, California. (Gorman is right off I-5, ya
# can't miss it.) Now this really is a mountainous area, and what only
# recently struck me is that Frank was probably inspired with the germ of
# the "Billy The Mountain" concept by some particular mountain which he
# probably travelled past on a regular basis...perhaps one with a geological
# formation or brush pattern that suggested a face, and surely one with a
# tree growing off of its shoulder. Maybe someone should form an expedition
# into the darkest Antelope Valley, "In Search Of Billy The Mountain"...
#
# From: Paul Adel <7561...@CompuServe.COM>
# Not to spoil the party, but... if you draw a line from Rosamond (which is
# the gateway town at the entrance to Edwards AFB) to Gorman (more of a gas
# stop than a town at the entrance to Tejon Pass), the line crosses NO
# mountains. This is because the line runs straight up Antelope Valley.
# Rosamond is at approx. 800m elevation, Gorman is at approx. 1300m. The
# largest geographic feature between them is (probably) White Springs Butte,
# maybe 200m bottom to top.
# Antelope Valley is the west end of the Mojave Desert, with the shape of a
# triangle with Gorman at the west point of the triangle (the head of the
# valley). The valley does have mountains on the south side (the San Gabriels)
# and the north side (the Tehachapi Mts). The main peaks are Leibre Mt (1745m)
# to southeast of Gorman, and Double Mt (2433m) northwest of Rosamond.
# It is quite plausable that Billy and Ethel reside in the San Gabriel or
# Tehachapi mountains, however, he would more likely be known as Guillermo.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Evidently Billy's peregrinations have altered the landscape. The map of
# the Antelope Valley I cited before shows Gorman pretty much surrounded by
# mountains (or at least hills), which would agree with the evidence of my
# own eyes...

#
# From: cav...@vnet.ibm.com (Keith Shiner)

# Ya know this is all well and good, but..........
# Billy took Ethel on a vacation to NY. As far as we know, they never returned.
# Now if you had info about the geography prior to JABFLA, I may be able to
# take your info a little more seriously.

Now, one day, and I believe it was on Tuesday,
a man in checkered double-knit suit
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# The attire of choice for young upwardly mobile types and lounge lizards.
#
#CC
# See and listen also, Eddie Are You Kidding? song and song's comments below

drove up in large El Dorado Cadillac leased from Bob Spreene
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# The showiest Caddy. Spreene must be a big-time car dealer.

( "Where the freeways meet in Downey!" )
^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Where the Freeways Meet in Downey" Bob Spreen Cadillac dealership
# commercials were on constantly in 60's on local TV stations

and he laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of BILLY
THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his foot was supposed to be.
Now BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it:
All those postcards he'd posed for, for all of those years,
and finally, now at last, his royalties!
"Royalties, royalties, royalties! The royalty check is in, honey!"
... Yes, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was rich! Yes, and his eyeball caves,
they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well
it ... it dropped thirty feet! A bunch of dust puffed out ...
rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... crushing the Lincoln ...
^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# It seems to be Caddie a few seconds before. So the question arises how
# much of the song's lyrics was written by Frank and how much just
# improvised on the stage by Flo'n'Eddie?

"It's off to Las Vegas to check out the lounges,
^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# It's a nightclub

Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh Ethel,
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Slot-machines, one-arm bandits.

their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Robert Lumley-Sapanski <RX...@psuvm.psu.edu>
# I always believed the line from Billy the Mountain came from that
# incredibly syrupy song, The Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love, which was
# done by someone like Bobby Goldsboro, which was true California early
# 70's song writting. Just the kind of song that would make Frank parody
# America's Pop music. "Don't be concened it will not harm you, its only
# me persuing something I'm not sure of, I chase the bright elusive
# butterly of love" great googily moogily. Anyway that's my opinion and I
# usually think I'm right and I hear it echoing through the canyons of my
# mind. Anyone else remember this song?
#
# From: blak...@iglou.iglou.com (Greg Blakeney)
# Gentle on my Mind was written by John Hartford, not by Cambell. John
# Hartford is one the cool guys. Glenn Campbell, although not a songwriter of
# any aclaim, is a pretty good guitarist. Kinda like a Jerry Reed Jr.
# I can't believe this songwriter/performer hasn't been named yet, it's
# been on the tip of my tongue since the beginning of this thread. In this
# newsgroup you HAVE to enjoy a multitude of styles. Come on, "the bright
# elusive butterfly of love" can't be that hard! It's right up there with
# some of those Scott McKensie tunes. Unfortunatly, I seem to think the
# Canyons of your mind line is from something other than "butterfly".
#
# From: nude...@aol.com (NudeAdGuy)
# "Elusive Butterfly" was the only hit (#5 on the charts) for Bob Lind.
# (Incidentally, the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band also recorded a song called
# "Canyons of Your Mind," which had lyrics I think Frank would have loved:
# (Parentheses indicate background singers)
# SPOKEN INTRO:
# This is the B side of our platter, sports fans...
# And I'm singing just for you--covered in sequins!
#
# (SUNG)
# In the Canyons of your mind
# I will wander through your brain
# To the ventricles of your heart, my dear,
# I'm in love with you again.
#
# 'Cross the mountains of your chest,
# I will sticker you in jest
# To the forest of your cheek,
# Through the holes in your string vest
#
# (Intentionally awful guitar solo)

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# I've been a big Bonzo fan ever since those failed-social-programs-packed
# sixties. I still play _Tadpoles_ pretty often--especially "Windmills of Your
# Mind," arguably the very best/worst rock song ever recorded.
# As far as I know, they developed in England independently of the Mothers,
# coming from trad-jazz and English music-hall traditions. I've never heard
# any band members' comments on FZ, or vice-versa. But I have to say I always
# thought "Legs" Larry Smith, the drummer of the group, bore a striking
# resemblance to Jimmy Carl Black.

"Ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? Howard Johnson's, ahhh
there's a Howard Johnson's! ... Wanna eat some clams? ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Howard Johnson's WAS a famous chain of restourants, ubiquitous, with
# orange roofs, where Plastic People eat.
#
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Famous hotel and restaurant chain. See also Kurt Vonnegut's "Welcome to
# the Monkey House"
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Correct, but does anybody know why eating *clams* at Howard Johnson's is
# funny? I can only guess that there may have been a band joke about an
# occasion when they had clams at Howard Johnson's.
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# I believe the Breaded Fried Clams were a staple on their menu. There used
# to be one on Indian Hill blvd. just north of the 10 freeway.

The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was
Edwards Air Force Base.
And to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks
^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Wing-nuts - aircraft mechanics. My guess would be that data reduction
# clerks are responsible for destroying (shredding) classified data.

"Word just in to the KTTV news service undeniably links this mountain and
^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# It's amazing for anyone who didn't grow up in Southern California in the
# 60's and 70's how many "in" jokes and references are totally missed!
# The references to "KTTV" and "this reporter's opinion" about communist
# witch-hunts and such refer to GEORGE PUTNAM, the Rush Limbaugh of the '60s,
# who was lead anchor on the KTTV news and who was always going on in dramatic
# tones about communists and hippies ad infinitum.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Something that would really make it clear to people what George Putnam
# was like is the following story: the character of Ted Baxter from the
# US comedy TV show "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (ran through the 70's) was
# modeled directly after George Putnam, according to the actor who played him
# (can't remember his name, and I haven't any idea of any source that quotes
# him to this effect). The vain, pretentious, and insincere Ted Baxter is
# a pretty good imitation of George Putnam.
# George Putnam was fond of digging up obscure sources and conspiracies that
# were totally unlikely...for instance, the "informed Orange County
# minister", witchcraft, and averting the "crippling strike of bartenders and
# vetrinarians".
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# George [Putnam] still has a daily mid-day radio brodcast on 870 AM station
# KIEV out of Glendale. His theme song is "Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry
# Nillsson. He's always making in-jokes about going out with the guest after
# the show to have a "Buttermilk" (his code word for booze). When someone
# tells him something even mildly surprising or unexpected, he bellows in his
# most stentorian tone, "THINK of it!!!" George lives on a ranch in Chino
# and raises horses.

his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of San Joaquin Valley smut ring.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a
recent narcotic crackdown in Torrence ... Hawthorne ... Lomita ...
^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
Westchester ... Playa del Rey ... Santa Monica ... Tujunga ... Sunland
^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
... San Fernando ... Pacoima ... Sylmar ... Newhall ... Canoga Park ..
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^
Palmdale ... Glendale ... Irwindale ... Rolling Hills ... Granada Hills
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
... Shadow Hills ... Cheviot Hills ... will provide the secret evidence
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# There's not enough room on the ASCII map to put all these in. Please refer
# to Thomas guide pages 23,24,25,15,16,17 etc.

Within the week, Jerry Lewis had hosted
^^^^^^^^^^^
a telethon ( La La La nice lady )
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# Jerry Lee Lewis and telethons? C'mon! It's, of course, Jerry Lewis
# the comedian, famous for Muscular Dystrophy telethons the world over!
# "La La La Nice Lady" is a parody of his voice!

to raise funds for the injured, "injured", and homeless, "homeless"
in Glendale, as Billy had just levelled it.
And a few miles right outside of town Billy caused a
'Oh mein papa' in the earth's crust, right over the secret underground
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Oh Mein Papa: A million-selling #1 record by Eddie Fisher in 1953.
# A pun on "fissure".
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# The KEY word has been left out here! "Billy caused a *fissure* in the
# earth's crust..."
# "Oh My Papa" was a sentimentally smarmy little waltz (from the '50s I
# believe) sung by Eddie FISHER. Get it, honey?

dumps, right near the Jack In The Box on Glenoaks where they keep the pools
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Glenoaks - boulevard of Burbank and Glendale.
# Jack-in-the-Box - fast-food restaurant, sort of like a cross between a
# McDonald's and Taco Bell.

Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of Columbus, Ohio
when Billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. Now
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Should I assume that people know that this refers to the physical exam one
# takes before joining or being drafted into the army?

lemme tell ya, Ethel said, now Ethel, Ethel said she wasn't gonna let him
go ... "I'm not gonna let you go, Billy" ... that's right, we now have
confirmed reports from an informed Orange County minister that Ethel is
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Probably a reference to Robert Schuller, who built the "Crystal Cathedral",
# a large, expensive house of worship.

still an active communist and it is this reporter's opinion that she also
practices covent WITCH-CRAFT ...

It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret
briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of
this senseless destruction and save America herself. And I'm sorry to
disappoint some of you, it was not Chief Redden. This one man was
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Former Police Chief of Los Angeles. Made Darryl Gates look like a liberal
# from what I hear.

Studebacher Hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# It's a pun on car's trade name.
#
# From: jdsh...@ucs.indiana.edu (Morpheus)
# ...there's a car named Studebaker Hawk.. it has fins on the back.. and was
# (and still is) a nice car! There's also a Studebaker Lark...
# (They named their cars after birds).
#
# From: Robert Lumley-Sapanski <RX...@psuvm.psu.edu>
# The name came from a classic gawdy car with really neat fins and chrome
# made by Studebaker and called the Hawk. It was studebaker's response to
# cars like the Bel-Air, the El Dorado, the Galaxy 500. And they're all
# made out of Plastic, when they melt they start to stink!
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# It might be interesting to point out that, even in 1971 (soooo long
# ago!) the Studebaker Hawk had already been an obscure auto of the past.
# When I heard BTM in 1971, this joke had to be explained to me.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Chronologicaly on the vinyl Hoch first time appeared on _200 Motels_ 2LP's
# track _Dental Hygeine Dilemma_. Billy the Mountain was also mentioned
# there. So check appropriate ( I mean 200 Motels :-) N&C.

Now, some folks say he looked like Zubin Mehta (Zubin Mehta);
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Famous, world-wide known orchestral conductor. His orchestra and Mothers
# once upon a time performed 200 Motels together. Fuckin' union didn't
# allow Frank to record this show, but at the same time didn't mind that
# someone in the audience brought mic and tape recorder along with him. So
# look for a bootleg named
# 200 Motels - May 15, 70 at UCLA CA with Mothers, Zubin Mehta and
# LA Philaharmonic

still others say "Bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy
who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at Boney's Market...";
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: calc...@wavenet.com (Nigey Lennon)
# Boni's Market was in the San Fernando Valley, in Studio City. There were
# a lot of references to markets in "Billy the Mountain" -- at the Pauley
# Pavilion concert there was also a mention of the Ralphs supermarket on
# Laurel Canyon Boulevard in Studio City ("where no prices are lower prices
# than Ralphs"). When "Billy the Mountain" was performed in New York, the
# L.A. references were changed to New York references -- i.e., Gristede's
# instead of Ralphs, etc. Typically, on the '71 tour, all local references in
# "Billy the Mountain" were altered to fit wherever the performance happened
# to be -- such as "for untimely dispersion over vast stretches of -- ",
# etc.
#
# From: David G. Walley <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# ... literally, the kid was dropped in the supermarket in the frozen foods
# department.

still others say "Pshaw, and piss on you, Jack,
he's just a crazy Italian who drove a red car ..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Who could be he? Any idea?
#
# From: David G. Walley <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# Nope, but it really doesn't matter, sometimes theey're just lines

You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named Pinocchio or what.
^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# I suspect that the father of Carlo Collodi's character haven't a red car :-))

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

#:-))
# Gepetto

And all the girls in Flushing would be amazed of him
^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Seems to be cheesy wet t-shirt contests place.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# I never noticed the word "Flushing" in the lyrics, but I'll believe you.
# Flushing is an actual place in New York state, in or near Brooklyn, I
# believe. I don't know if it is an incorporated city, or just a
# neighbohood. I think it's proper name might actually be "Flushing
# Meadows." Why girls in Flushing would be "amazed of" Studebaker Hawk I'm
# not quite sure, except that Flushing may be some insular middle-class
# town with naive girls who would be amazed of anything.

Time passed. January, February, March, July, Wednesdey, August, Irwindale,
two-thirty in the afternoon, Sunday, Monday, Funny Cars, Walnuts, City of
Industry, Big John Masamanian ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Oh, man, a *lot* of references are being missed here! Irwindale (only
# 10 minutes from where I grew up, in Glendora!) was famous in L.A. (or,
# the San Gabriel Valley, at least, a portion of eastern L.A. county) for
# being the site of "drag races", i.e. races between souped-up cars with
# giant engines. A "Funny Car" was a particularly decorative instance of
# such a car...it had the body of a car from the 40's but a super
# turbocharged engine in the front (i.e. this incongruity is what made it
# "funny"...also it usually was painted very brightly and with lots of
# advertisements and word...also "funny"). I don't think it's "Walnuts",
# but rather "Walnut", the name of a city which I believe is near
# Irwindale. "City of Industry" is the *actual name* of a town that is
# also not far from Irwindale. Big John Masmanian (note the corrected
# spelling) was, I believe, a well-known personality among the drag race
# scene (which is why someone laughs hysterically at that point in the
# performance). I remember, back in the 60's, many posters nailed to
# telephone poles advertising the coming weekend's activities at the Drag
# Races, with large captial letters screaming his name. The posters were
# just like wrestling match posters, which gives you a clue of the kind of
# culture that Drag Races were.
# To share just one or two more reminisces: we had to beg our Dad to bring
# us to the Irwindale drag races, and we succeeded probably only once or
# twice, because the sort of people who frequented drag races were a "bad
# element"...greasers, hoods, misbehaved "Okie" types, families with 12-year
# old kids who smoked and drank, and so on. Another memory is laying in
# bed at night in Glendora...20-30 miles away...on a Sunday night and actually
# hearing the sound of those giant "drag racer" engines taking off.
# I don't quite know why Irwindale is being brought up at this point in
# the story...
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# Hmm... I don't remember the posters but I remember the radio commercials
# screaming "Sunday! Sunday! Big John Masmainian! Don "The Snake" Prudhomme!
# Gas Ronda!" and the like.
# I think it's a stream-of-conciousness thing -- where they start reciting
# months and days: "Time passed. January, February, March, July, Wednesdey,
# August, Irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, Sunday," kind of naturally
# leads right into 'Sunday! Sunday! Big John Masmanian!' etc. etc.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# In other words the Monday, Tuesday thing is just a setup for the Funny
# Car stuff, by spinning of from "Sunday" into the radio ad. Clever stuff.
#
# From: gdne...@nickel.ucs.indiana.edu (gregory david newton)
# >Great FAQ, but have to disagree with the definition of "Funny Cars". I
# >think they're called that because they use nitrous oxide ("laughing
# >gas", therefore "funny"). In the process of combustion, the oxygen is
# >freed from the nitrogen giving an extra kick to the fuel. These things
# >are very dangerous and flames flying out their exhaust give them a
# >surreal effect.
#
# Not quite; Funny Cars (and Top Fuel dragsters) run on nitromethane. I
# have no idea if it's chemically related to Laughing Gas (undergrad
# chemistry was a *long* time ago) but it is indeed highly explosive
# stuff. It's a very expensive sport at that level, in no small part
# because the fuel is so hard on the engine that racers may have to go
# through major engine rebuilding (or complete replacement) between rounds.
# P.S. I have run into people who have added nitrous oxide injection kits
# to various *gasoline* powered motors. It does indeed seem to provide an
# extra power boost from the added oxygen, but only in very short bursts
# and at the expense of drastically reduced engine life (combustion gets
# way to hot, I guess).
#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)
# Thanks for the correction. I should have checked with a co-worker, who
# used to "drive" the beasts, before I posted. He tells me (NOW he tells
# me <g>) that the funny cars got their name from their body, which is a
# single fiberglass piece (with mylar), their enormous "cheaters" (as
# Greg said), and mainly from the way the driver is "loaded" in. Since
# there are no doors, the chassis is hoisted above the chassis so the
# driver can get in. A little gas is squirted in to prime the ignition
# (nowadays, they use pure nitromethane - back in the early 70s, when he
# raced, they used a mixture), the body is lowered and set, and
# hopefully the race starts real soon.
# He also told me that the cars running nitrous oxide are very similar
# to the funny cars, so I don't feel so bad about the mistake. The big
# difference, from the outside anyway, is that they have doors. He said
# they mostly run the IHRA circuit (as opposed to NHRA) in a category
# called "Pro Mod" (forgive me, for the sake of transmitting the correct
# information this time I am probably overdoing it a bit...).
# IOW, "Funny Cars" means "no doors".

So when the phone ring in the secret briefcase, a
strong masculine hand with a Dudley Do-Right wristwatch and flexy braclet
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Dudley Do-Right - cartoon character; of the Royal Mounted Canadian Police;
# probably knew Magdalena
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Dudley Do-Right: inept, straight-laced constable in the Royal Canadian
# Mounted Police in a cartoon segment of The Bullwinkle Show, produced by
# Jay Ward, 1961-1964. There really were Dudley Do-Right wristwatches.

#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# Dudley is currently the spokestoonvoice for Ricoh copiers. Never expected
# him to sell out.
# More correctly for Infincom, the distributor of Ricoh.

untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion?...
an expense account? ... and per diem, too?..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^

# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# "Expense account" is what a travelling businessman is given by his company
# to pay for his on-road expenses. A "per diem" is the amount that he may
# spend on a daily basis for food, and if he's really lucky, entertainment.
# I believe that the reason why Studebaker Hawk is exclaiming this is
# these well-cherished consultant's items are part of the job offer.

underneath Joni Mitchell's autographed picture,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From _Rock of Ages_ The Rolling Stones :-)))) History of R'n'R
# ... one of the most important of the first-wave singer-songwriters was
# Joni Mitchell, who wrote tough, unsparing first-person songs about herself
# ... and delivered them in a voice that sounded as though she'd swallowed
# a mouse.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Was?? She's still an active singer. Her album "Court and Spark" should
# be seriously considered to be one of the best albums in pop music
# history. The characterization you are quoting is being very sarcastic
# and cynical; she wrote great tunes and had top-notch backup musicians
# and collaborators.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# From Mother! The Frank Zappa Story by Michael Gray, p. 86:
#
# "...Motorhead had picked up this strange new girlfriend who hung around
# the house for a while.
# "Zappa recalled this relationship when he talked to me eight years
# later, in April 1975: 'Yeah he picked her up in New York some place and
# brought her to the house. And I remember her sitting in the corner,
# playing guitar, singing to herself; she had a beret on the first time I
# saw her and she was leaning over the guitar and she was drooling. That
# was before she had a record contract.' Her name was Joni Mitchell.
# "(I said I found it hard to imagine the 1967 Frank Zappa and Joni
# Mitchell being compatible kinds of people. Zappa said: 'No. That's not
# true. Actually I have a great respect for what she does. The thing I
# like is her melisma--I think that it's well executed and I think that
# it's interesting, from a musical standpoint. I'm not too enthralled
# by the lyrics, because I'm not into love songs.')"
#
# Also, according to Miles' Frank Zappa: A Visual Documentary, Joni
# Mitchell sat in with the Mothers at the Fillmore in 1970.

right beside Elliot Robert's big bank book,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# The Manager of Crosby, Stills and Nash - I believe both the group and the
# individual members.

next to the boat where Crosby flushed away all
his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away,

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# David Crosby did go to jail on Drugs offences.

to the can where Neil Young slipped another disc ...
^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Obviously Frank liked to offend those guys
# _Fillmore East, June 1971_ Do You Like My New Car
#
# - Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a
# man... picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo canes!
# three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in
# the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with
# pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until
# he can't it stand anymore!
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# I believe that CSN&Y fought like hell over musical matters (but CSN did
# not). Remember that Neil Young left Buffalo Springfield over musical
# differences some time before the group split. On 'Four Way Street' Young
# makes reference to this when introducing Steven Stills: "We've had our ups
# and downs but we're still playing together". On the other hand I doubt if
# there was much fighting in FZ's bands at the time this album was made as I
# doubt whether there was any room for disagreement on musical matters,
# Frank knowing exactly what he wanted...

Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school,
whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the Broadway at Hollywood
Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself some big, large,
unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the Ralph's
^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# You should point out that there was a TV/radio commercial for Ralph's,
# heard about as often as the "Bob Spreene" commercial in those days, with
# the ditty "where no prices are lower prices than Ralph's" which goes exactly
# like the way Mark Volman sings it.

on Sunset for some Aunt Jemima syrup, some Kaiser boiler foil and pair
of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes, and in the parking lot of Ralph's ...
where no prices are lower prices than Ralph's...
( help me! help me! help me! )

# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Please refer to the ending of 50's horror film "The Fly".

( help me! help me! help me! ) ... He held open the legs of his boxer
shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those
little cocksucking flies had gone into his pants and they were lapping up
all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and
he said in a very clear, impressive, Ron-Hubbard-type voice: "New York"...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# L. Ron Hubbard - author of "Dianetics" and founder of The Church of
# Scientology.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# :-) The mystery man came over
# An' he said "I'm outta site"

He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen
(Fly to New York)
He could be a narc
Or a lady marine

#CC
# Look, how later almost the same collection of words was reorganized
# for a new purpose (') _Saint Alfonzo's..._
#
# I saw a handsome parish lady
# Make her entrance like a queen
# Why, she was totally chenille
# And her old man was Marine
#

Or he might play dirty
He's over thirty
Getting old ...

#CC
# It's funny to note that those words are almost verbatim
# Kaylan-Vollman-Lickert 200 Motels anti-Zappa conspirancy slogans

Ah, but Ethel just shook her twigs angrily. But Studebacher Hoch, calm,
cool, collected and unperturbed, continued:

"Ya, well listen ... listen you communist sonofabitch ... you better get
your ass down there for your fuckin' physical or I'll see to it that you
get used for fill dirt in some impending New Jersey marsh reclamation ...
^^^^^^^^^^
# Another CC token of the time
# _200 Motels_ Strictly Genteel (the finale)
#
# A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey.
#
# Phillis in _Uncle Meat_ movie while talkin' about losing her NY accent
# says
# They think I'm from New Jersey
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# These too are pointless connections. New Jersey is a state in the USA,
# often the butt of jokes when wants to refer to anything that is boring,
# middle class and mass-produced. FZ is using that symbol in the same way
# in each case, but there is no connection between those uses that has any
# "meaning". It's as though "Moscow" was used to represent beaureacracy.

Call Any Vegetable
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one will know
If you don't want to let them know
No one will know
'less it's you that might tell them so
Call and they'll come to you
Smiling and covered with dew
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream of responding to you
Standing there shiny and proud by your side
Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
^^^^^^
#:-) It was hand in Absolutely Free version

Shooo, Shooo, Shoo, Shoo ....
You know a lot of people don't bother about there friends in the vegetable
kingdom. They, they think: What can I say? Some times they think:
Where can I go?
Where can I go to get my poodle clipped in Burbank?
At Ralph's vegetarian poodle clippin', where you can come this...

# Was it the Ralph's mentioned in Billy The Mountain ?

Where can I go to get organic vaseline for my [intercourse?]
At Bob and Ray's swaheli restorant, where you can come this close.....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Bob and Ray - early American radio comedy team.

Where can I go to get my exit lights?,
At Jack LaLane Hamburgers on 312 Woodier(?) Boulavard.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# At Jack LaLane Hamburgers on 312 Woodier(?) Boulavard.
# \
# probably "Whittier"
# Jack LaLane - father of the American fitness trend
#

Call it direct,
Call it collect,
But call it today.

Eddie Are You Kidding?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie, are you kidding?
I've seen you on my TV
Eddie, are you kidding?
^^^^^^

# From: obr...@imagen.com (Doug Obrecht)
# He used to own a clothing store and made cheesy TV commercials in the 70's.
# I forget the name of that store. I think it was on Wilshire Blvd close to
# Santa Monica Blvd. No! I am not kidding!
#
# From: pshi...@whale.st.usm.edu (Phil Shirley)
# In response to the person who asked if Eddie (as in "Eddie, are you
# kidding?") was still around: Mark V. & Howard K. were interviewed on the
# Doctor Demento Show about 3 or 5 years ago. They said that they had seen
# Eddie on TV within the last few weeks, as I remember. Same bit as he had
# done before, apparently.
#
# From: tw roscoe <blue...@ix.netcom.com>
# Was there the night at the Pauly Pavillion when it was recorded... too
# bad some of the other stuff didn't make it to cd/vinyl...
# I get my suits at Eddie's, nice suits... portly... Eddie takes the Frank
# Zappa thing well, perhaps gave a release... working as a ad amoung the
# fans...

I thought they were the pits
^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# the pits - less than complimentary descriptive; i.e "they suck"
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# Derived from 'pit' on the sense of the stone in the centre of plums,
# cherries, etc.

Eddie, my friends ask me,
Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding?
I wanna tell you something,
my friends:
I am not kidding.
Here at Zachary All
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Zachary All" was the name of the clothing store that Eddie (are you
# kidding?) ran. I think I saw a commercial about a year ago -- he looks
# a lot older!

In all the right places.
They're most comfortable.
Our model Twiggy here will demostrate.

^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Had she really worked for Eddie? I believe she used to be a flat little
# english model which introduced to the world Mary Quant's (sp?) idea of
# how thrilling short skirts could be.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# Undoubtedly not. I've always imagined that this was an ironic reference
# to Mark Volman, whose physique was quite the opposite of hers. Does
# anyone who saw this band remember if Flo mimed modeling the double-knits
# at this point?
#
# From: bari...@crl.com (Michael Barrett)
# I saw Flo n' Eddie several times in their post Zappa years, and I think it
# did refer to Flo's physique. Although when they did "EAYK" on their own,
# the description had changed to the more appropriate "Our lovely model
# Gorgo here will demonstrate..."

I have this lovely little
Seersucker ... wait a minute

WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT
I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY

#CC
# " Questions, Questions, Questions, flooding into the mind of the concerned
# young person today..."
# Frank Zappa. Call Any Vegetable. JABFLA.

# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)

# What I want to know is what role in the composition of "Eddie, Are You
# Kidding?" was played by John Seiter, the drummer in the last line-up of
# the Turtles before they broke up.
# The label of JABFLA credits the song to Seiter-Volman-Kaylan-Zappa. Flo
# and Eddie's Illegal, Immoral, and Fattening credits it to
# Volman-Kaylan-Zappa-Seiter.
# Did the Turtles perform an embryonic version of "Eddie, Are You Kidding?"?

Magdalena
~~~~~~~~~

There was a man
A little ole man
Who lived in Montreal
With a wife and a kid
And a car and a house
And a teenage daughter
With a see-thru blouse
Who loved to grunt and ball - -
And her name was Magdalena

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# It seems to me that this is FZ's version of some real story he can read
# or hear of. Something like The Illinois Enema Bandit's stuff. Does anyone
# happen to know the name of prototype and his true story?
#
# From: calc...@wavenet.com (Nigey Lennon)
# The song "Magdalena" was written before I joined the tour, but I don't
# think it was based on anything in particular, like an article or a story.
# However, it did create a spin-off, "Winnipeg Rangers", the chorus of which
# went: "Rangers, ho! Rangers, ho! Rangers ho-ho-ho". This song, being rather
# fragmentary, was never performed in concert or recorded, mostly being sung
# in airports during the tour. There was always lots of joking going on
# during the tour about the various lyrics, and from that often came
# modifications of the songs in performance. For instance, in "Bwana Dik",
# there was originally a reference to Hodgkins' disease -- instead of "I
# didn't know you were so obviously -- pregnant" it was "I didn't know you so
# obviously had -- Hodgkins' disease", and the chorus went "Hodgkins'
# disease, Hodgkins' disease". However, even Frank felt this was too 'sick',
# and it was dropped after a few performances.

"She looks all right!"
And he reached for a tit
And grabbed it tight
And threw her up
Against the wall
(BLUE CROSS!)
^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Blue Cross - long time health care insurance provider. Not sure what the
# reference means here.

DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH
DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Hey de-due" (sic) Adee Plumbing still has commercials on TV (been
# running about 30 years continuously). The commercials would always start
# out listing of host of plumbing problems that the average Joe could run
# into, and finish up with some geeky guy in a sing-song voice assuring the
# viewing public that "Adee Do" all that stuff, so call 'em!

Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena,
daughter of the smog-filled winds of Los Angeles,
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# This strange shift from Quebec to California seems to be typical gig's site
# dependant joke. On _Swiss Cheese_ Magdalena's version Howard Kaplan :-)
# improvised here about
# ... walking down the street of Montreax ...skating on the slopes
# of our choice...

I'd like to take you in the closet
and take off your little clothes
until you're virtually stark raving nude,
spread mayonaise and kaopectate all over your body
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.ru>

# Similar idea of minor's sex abusage can be found on _Absolutely Free_
# _Brown Shoes Don't Make It_
#
# If she were my daughter, I'd ...
# What would you do, Daddy?
#
# Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
# And strap her on again, oh baby
#
# Yes, you couldn't just did a wee-wee in her hair... :-)))))))))))

and take you down to Hollywood Boulevard
and we can, we can walk down the streets
by the stars that say John Provost and Leo G. Carrol
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Jon (not John) Provost: child actor who played Timmy on Lassie, CBS
# television, 1957-1964.
#
# Leo G. Carroll (1892-1972): British character actor, appeared in films
# such as Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, North by Northwest, but FZ would
# probably have preferred Tarantula, a 1955 monster movie. Carroll played the
# title role in the Topper TV series and Mr.Waverley in The Man from
# U.N.C.L.E.

We can go dancing up at the Cina Grill ...
^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# The Cinegrill - a once trendy Hollywood Blvd. lounge lizard spot,
# recently revived and still in business...

I didn't mean, I didn't need, I mean ... it was so hard for me ...
I just ... I saw you standing under the Shell pest strip late last
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Shell no-pest strip - a bug killing plastic slab that was mounted in a
# cardboard box that would hang from your porch light - like ... mistletoe !
# Brought to you by the Shell Oil Company.
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# Later withdrawn from the market as they were found to be toxic to humans.

I'm down on my knees to ya, Magdalena... I wantcha ta walk back to me,
Baby... I wantcha to turn around by the Sparkletts machine... that's it!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Sparklett's - long time supplier of bottled water.
#

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)

# Maybe, but not in this case. Sparklets machines are those soda water
# dispensers which you fill with water, then screw a little steel capsule of
# carbon dioxide gas into. Result: Soda water (club soda/seltzer for
# americans)

Jesus picture on the wall... and I want you to step, Baby, I want you
to walk back in your five inch spike heels that you got at Frederick's,
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Frederick's - Frederick's of Hollywood; purveyor of women's lingerie.

was so wrong?...my god, I was only following the sexual impulse like
I heard on the Johnny Carson Show...from a book or something I wrote,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Johnny Carson - the venerable long-time host of "The Tonight Show"; now
# hosted by Jay Leno

I didn't know what I was doing...I got carried away... walk back,
oh please, to your daddy!... come on, Magdalena... to your daddy,
Baby... your mom will never know... come back to you daddy!...

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