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alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ: Notes and Comments (Part 1 of 6)

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Robbert Heederik

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May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part1

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Privet! This FAQ part was originaly conceived as a helpful guide
for novices anf foreigners. But step by step ( comments by comments
in fact :-) as it grew and happily put on weight due to good will and
zeal of FZ fans over the world many compatriots of Mr. Zappa also begun
to feel that it's a useful pile of bytes well suitable for the hard
drives of their home silicon pets.
So it goes and goes and goes.
And there are real chance that we'll end up some day with something
worth to bestow upon next generations and generations of hungry freaks.
- Hey! Bob! Look that's my grandy been wa...@yawaka.mudshark.com
once explained that those mysterious Baby Snakes was nothing more and
nothing less than just tiny zircon-encrusted thing between our sister
Mary legs! Woow!
So you go right way, comrades, - as they used to bark on Communist's Party
Congress of my glorious and warmed by FZ secret words for nights and days
youth!
HOTCHA!

Technical details

From this version on the first digit of a version number is some absurd
sign that just help me to keep track of structural revision of this
document. The next numbers is for all of you and is in fact the number of
albums being commented below, so
ver. 2.6
Is second edition of six albums strong N&C. Also to make your life
easy I decided to put the list of this albums at the head of the doc.
The meaning of chinagraphy +/=/! in this list is very simple and I hope
not so hard to understand :-)))
= ...... no chages since last issue
+ ...... interesting additions
! ...... brand new item
That's almost all for today. As always any suggestion, corrections,
additions will be gratefully accepted by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Introduction to ver.2.16.1

Privet! -) Pronounced preevat and means Hi!
This new dot with digit behind it appeared as a result of a great job
of another great Italian Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>, who
put together for your pleasure the whole lot of YCDTOSA Notes and Comments.
He wanted it to be part of my Siberian N&C collection. So now you have a
little bit of southern sun in this snowy Nanooks doc:-)
It is 16.1 not simple 17 because Francesco also wants to keep on maintainin'
his nice stuff on his own. So no beautiful UNIX shell style there :-) but hope
you enjoy it anyway.
Vladimir

ALBUMS LIST
-----------

1. Lumpy Gravy......................=
2. We're Only In It For The Money...=
3. Uncle Meat ..................... +
4. Burnt Weeny Sandwich ........... =
5. Weasels Ripped My Flesh ........ =
6. Chunga's Revenge ............... =
7. Fillmore East, June 1971 ....... +
8. 200 Motels ..................... +
9. Just Another Band From L.A...... =
10. Grand Wazoo .................... =
11. Over-nite Sensation ............ =
12. Apostrophe ..................... =
13. One Size Fits All .............. +
14. Bongo Fury ..................... +
15. Zoot Allures ................... =
16. Studio Tan ..................... =
17. Joe's Garage ................... !
18. The Man From Utopia ............ =
19. Broadway The Hard Way ........ ..=
20. YCDTOSA, Vol.I-VI............... +

LUMPY GRAVY
===========

Notes and Comments
ver.12-Dec-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from e-vaults of
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>

titles and times from
dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)

special thanks to
Robbert Heederik <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
Mike Lambiaso <71052...@CompuServe.COM>

IS THIS PHASE 2 OF: WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY?

#About Frank's T-shirt mystery
#
# From: gwor...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham ) writes:
# Ok, pony up: I'm pretty sure that in one of the late great issues of
# Society Pages, this was discussed. It appears to be an industrial
# baseball team T-shirt that FZ picked up somewhere. And it would seem
# that it was pronounced pipe-co.
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# I've read that FZ interview too, so I'm with you on this, Gary.
#From Society Pages (US Edition) Issue No. 7, Page 20
# Den Simms: Ok. What was "Pipco"?
# Frank Zappa: Pipco ... it baffled me for a long time. Turns out to
# be a little league shirt from Santa Barbara, a Santa
# Barbara pipe company, I believe.
# DS (laughs): So, maybe it was [pronounced] "Pipe-Co".
# FZ: Yeah.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# That same t-shirt can be seen also on the front cover of WOIIFTM CD
# and on 1966 MOI concert photo ( check D.Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# book pp.78-79 )

Lumpy Gravy, Part One 15:35
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Index Point CD Booklet Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ---------------------- ------------
1. The Way I See It, Barry 1 1 00:00
2. Duodenum 2 2 00:06
3. Oh No 3 3 01:38
4. Bit Of Nostalgia 4 4 03:41
5. It's From Kansas 5 5 05:16
6. Bored Out 90 Over 6 6 05:46
7. Almost Chinese 7 7 06:17
8. Switching Girls 8 8/9/10 06:42
9. Oh No Again
10. At The Gas Station
11. Another Pickup 9 11 11:05
12. I Don't Know If I Can Go 10 12 11:59
Through This Again

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# So, what we see from carrying out this exercise is that Track 1
# has an error in it, 3 index points appear under a single index.
# This should be added to any `error' file that is being kept of
# Zappa releases.
# Having checked the elapsed times under both play and pause
# modes, some of you might find a difference of -1 second for some of
# the indexes, so don't blame me if the times don't exactly match what
# you see on your own player.

4. Bit Of Nostalgia 03:41
-----------------
A bit of nostalgia for the old folks.

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( short hot piece )

# Can anyone identify music? Is it something from Cucamonga years?
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Do you mean the really short piece during Bit Of Nostalgia, or the
# longer piece (the fast old jazz one) during It's From Kansas? Either
# way, neither piece is from Cucamonga Years. (I don't recognise either,
# by the way.)
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Both, of course :-)))

I'm advocating dark clothes.
If I'm not alone, I wonder if I've been asleep
As long as I have.
Did you ever live in a drum?

# From _Civilization Phaze III_ booklet
#
# In 1967, we spent about four months recording various projects (Uncle
# Meat, We're Only In It For The Money, Ruben and The Jets and Lumpy Gravy)
# at APOSTOLIC STUDIOS, 53 E. 10th ST NYC. One day I decided to stuff a
# pair of U-87's in the piano, cover it with heavy drape, put a sand bug
# on the sustain pedal and invite anybody in the vicinity to stick their
# head inside and remble incoherently about the various topics I would
# suggest to them via talk-back system.
# This set-up remained in the place for several days. During that time,
# many hours of recording was made, most of it useless. Some people who
# took the challenge included Spider Barbour ( leader of the rock group
# _Crysalys_, which was also recording at Apostolic when we weren't booked
# in, All-Night John (the studio manager), Gilly Towney (sister of the
# guy who owned the studio), Monica (the receptionist), Roy Estrada and
# Motorhead Sherwood (members of the _Mothers Of Invention_), Louis
# Cuneo (a guy who used to come to our live shows at the Garrick Theater
# and laugh like a psychotic turkey), and a few others.
# Some of this dialog -- after extensive editing -- found its way into
# the _Lumpy Gravy_ album.

5. It's From Kansas 05:16
----------------

^^^/////^^^^//////^^^^^^ ( fast old jazz )

# Can anyone identify this piece? Was it used for CC somewhere else?
#
# Hope I place it right Brian
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# Another sped-up tune is the unofficially released "Revenge of the Knick
# Knack People" (which can be found, among other places, on Apocrypha). I
# think this song was produced around the same time as Lumpy Gravy, it's too
# bad that RYKO didn't include it on the CD.

6. Bored Out 90 Over 05:46
-----------------

Bored out .90 over with three Stromberg 97's.
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: bcm...@omnifest.uwm.edu (Bill Cmelak)
# Yes, that's right! Hot rod jargon it is. Stromberg 97's were very popular
# carburetors on many old hot rods. I'm not positive, but, I think the yellow
# hotrod coupe in Amerrican Graffiti had 6 of them on the engine. (It has 6 of
# some kind anyway.)
# As for .90 over, that's the amount that combustion cylinders are bored out
# in thousandths of an inch. Either to clean up worn cylinder walls or just to
# enlarge the combustion chamber size to gain more power. Most likely the later
# in this instance.

7. Almost Chinese 06:17
---------------

Good bread, because I was making, ah, two-seventy-one an hour.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#:-) See for details _10. At The Gas Station_

10. At The Gas Station
------------------

I worked in a cheesy newspaper-company for a while,
but that was terrible,
I wasn't making enough money to build anything.

(Louie Louie!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# One of endless references to this pop standard

And he needed a job,
so I gave him a job at the gasstation at which I was fired
because, you know, he was gonna work there.
And he had his car in a rack and he was lubing it
^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# grease rack - lifts the car above ground for working from underneath

Then I went to work in an aircraft-company and ah...
I was building these plans.
I worked on the XB 70.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# This is supposed to be a real monster of supersonic strategic bomber with
# Wagnerian nickname _Valkyrie_. 6 x General Electric XY-93 engines,
# 32 meters width, 56.38 m length and weight 205,000 kg. October 14, 1965
# one of the experimental beastes ( I believe welded by Frank roadie :-) hit
# 3,218 km/h mark on the fantastic altitude - 21,336 km. Despite that never
# was manufactured as mass product B-70 (may be no one could weld it correctly
# because, you know, Sherwood have found another job :-)))

I was the last welder on there, but it was pretty good bread
because I was makin' ah 2.71 an hour,
^^^^^^^
makin' a hundred and a quarter a week,

#:-)) Here is it! Details you desperately need in _7. Almost Chinese_

So I got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds,
but I was going with this chick at that time,
and by the time I got the Olds running decently,
she went out and tore up the engine and the trans and,
^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# trans = transmission

11. Another Pickup 11:05
--------------

////^^^/////^^^^/////^^^^////// sped up piece of music

# From: fne...@aol.com (Fnerdd)
# Back in the days of vinyl I had a record player that would play at 16RPM,
# half the speed of a 33RPM LP. I played some of Lumpy Gravy's sped-up parts
# on it, and it sounded just like regular traditional jazz.
# Also were all the funny little snorks and coughs, which sounded like
# regular folk snortin' & coughin' at half-speed.

12. I Don't Know If I Can Go Through This Again 11:59
--------------------------------------------

All right!
I don't know if I can go through this again.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Make sure this doesn't come across as someone saying "All right!" as in
# "everything's great." I think it's the conductor saying "All right" as in
# "we'll do another take now," and the unidentified player says "Ohhhh"
# before "I don't know...."

13.08
^^^^^/////^^^^^/////^^^^^/////
13.45

# That beautiful piece of serious music can be found between 1.48 and 2.25
# seconds of WOIIFTM track _Mother People_ too. (Times from old Zappa Records
# WOIIFTM/LG CD ZAP 13)

Lumpy Gravy, Part Two 15:42
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Index Point Elapsed Time
----------- ------------
1. Very Distraughtening 1 00:00
2. White Ugliness 2 01:33
3. Amen 3 03:55
4. Just One More Time 4 05:28
5. A Vicious Circle 5 06:26
6. King Kong 6 07:38
7. Drums Are Too Noisy 7 08:21
8. Kangaroos 8 09:19
9. Envelops The Bath Tub 9 10:16
10. Take Your Clothes Off 10 13:58

1. Very Distraughtening 00:00
--------------------

Ah, there it is again.
It's a little pig with wings.
I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It's very distraughtening.

# Here is what was said about LG dialogs in CPIII booklet.
#
# "Because all the dialog had been recorded in (to borrow a phrase from
# _Evelyn, A Modified Dog_) "pan-chromatic resonance and other highly
# ambient domains", it was not always possible to make certain edits
# sound convincingly, since the ambience would vanish disturbingly
# at the edit point. This severely limited my ability to creat the illusion
# that various groups of speakers, recorded on different days, were
# talking to each other. As a result, what emerged from texts was a vague
# plot regarding pigs and ponies, threatening the lives of the characters
# who inhabit a large piano.
#
#CC
# And about subjects on _This is All Wrong_ of CPIII
#
# MOON: This is all wrong. This is all wrong.
# F.Z.: The pigs run the city, the ponies run the TV station and you wanted
# to apply for a job.

Everything in the universe is, is, is made of one element,
which is a note, a single note.
Atoms are really vibrations, you know.
Which are extensions of the BIG NOTE, everything's one note.
Everything, even the ponies.
The note, however, is the ultimate power,
but see the pigs don't know that,
the ponies don't know that.

# From: s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)
# Date: Mon, 01 Aug 94 18:27:47 GMT
# Yesterday, I was doing a bit of channel hopping with my tv when I bumped
# into a German guy ( a doctor) named Hans Jenny (I think it was Hans
# anyway). This program amazed me, since mr. Jenny did some experiments with
# 'soundscopes' or something in his spare time. He would unleash some sound
# of a certain frequency on different kinds of material, like sand, water,
# sault, crystals or whatever. He found out some pretty amazing stuff, like
# the patterns were often 5-pointed stars (like many flowers and even cells)
# or resembled certain shells you can find at the beach, or even made
# swirling patterns that resemble galaxies! (BTW, he resented to these
# comparisances (sp.??) since they weren't really scientific, but what the
# hell). He (like Frank did) pointed out the possibility that the universe
# began with one SOUND (aka THE BIG NOTE) rather then THE BIG BANG. I wonder
# if Frank ever heard of this guy and his experiments. Anway, it made me
# realize once again that Frank was much much more than just a composer/
# musician. It's a way of live...
#
# From: eri...@lunatix.icce.rug.nl (Erik-Jan Vens)
# Funny, I've also seen this program. But it didn't hit me at that time. Now
# it does, because I know so much more now.
# According to mystics the basic sound of the universe is denoted by /Om/,
# the first word of the Tibetan mantra: /Om Mani Padme Hum/: "the sound of
# silence, the diamond in the lotus".
# It is this sound which emerges when the energy of life is experienced. It
# is an experience which cannot be experienced by simply repeating the mantra,
# but which comes all by itself from your consciousness of the energy of
# existence.
#
# From: konr...@netcom.com (Konrad)
# If a BIG BANG isn't a sound then i don't know what we're talking about
# here.
# And there are other mystics who believe that this basic sound is "ahh."
# (This is true)
# And then there are those who think that it was this argument between
# whether "ohh" or "ahh" is the basic sound of the Universe that actually
# caused the big bang which created the Universe.
# (This is also true, in a way)
#
# Vladimir The Editor Note :-)))
# I sincerly believe that although the absurd ideas discussed above seem
# to be just casual coincidence here they are still are part of
# intercontinental absurd project/object relations Frank tried to
# trace all his life :-)))

You mean just we know that?

RIGHT!

Merry-go-round, Merry-go-round,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
tu-tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu tu-tu-tu
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# The CPIII edition of this cut (see below) don't seem to confirm my
# impression but this line suspectably points to Larry _Wild Man_ Fischer
# infamous classic track Merry-Go-Round from 1970 (1968) Bizarre 6332
# _An Evening with Wild Man Fischer_
# Can anyone provide lyrics of that Larry hit?
# BTW,
# May be it was just standard paste time cliche ditty in early 60th L.A.?
#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# I don't think that Larry's song was popular. It's probably included
# because Frank liked it. Merry-go-round is a carousel ride for children, and
# is a euphemism used by Larry to mean "the bump and grind", "the buff 'till
# ya shine", "the tube snake boogie".

And they call that doing their thing.
Oh yeah? That's what doing your thing is!
The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

#CC
# Another edition of what obviously was the same original dialog can be
# heard on _This Is Phaze III_ track of CPIII
#
# SPIDER: Right, man... and all it was like people sitting in doorways
# freakin out tourists going " Merry Go Round, Merry Go Round,
# Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do!" and they called that "doing their
# thing."
# JOHN: Oh yeah, that's what doing your thing is!
# SPIDER: The thing is to put a motor in yourself.

2. White Ugliness 01:33
--------------

Arf arf arf!

#CC
# It seems to be first appearance of Fido :-)))

Ponies...if, if, if...
Was it white? 're you sure?...it wasn't white,
I mean uh...black, uh...
But I was too scared to notice their physical...
...gold or something...
...I was too, I was too scared to no-no-no-notice their physical,
ah, appearance, 'cause they...they...they were attackin' me!
They were?
They were attackin' me.
What were they doin' to you?
They were, they were, they were come and surrounding me
and attackin' me and I had to fight back and fight,
fight and fight back and pick up sticks.
Pick up sticks?
Yes, pick up sticks.
I used to play that game, Pick Up Sticks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Me too, did you ever play that game?

# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Pick Up Sticks (or Pick-A-Stick) is a very simple game, making use of
# a number of thin wooden sticks, rather like giant cocktail sticks. You
# gather the sticks together in your hand, hold them vertically on some
# surface (floor/table), and let them go. Generally, they fall in a heap,
# with sticks overlapping other sticks. The object of the exercise is to use
# another stick (which sometimes has a small groove cut in it to aid the
# picking of sticks) to slowly, and carefully dislodge sticks from the jumbled
# pile. If you remove a stick *without* moving any other stick, you continue
# on picking sticks. As soon as you move one, it becomes your opponent's
# turn (more than 2 people can play). The person with the most sticks at the
# end is the winner.

Ha Ha Ha!
We'll hope for the best.
Ha Ha Ha!

(Alfred Motorhead).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Seems to be just rhyming joke.
# The guy's real name is Euclid James 'Motorhead' Sherwood
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# that isn't right, but it's hard to hear... something like "I'll pray for
# us Motorhead"

Now I lay me down to sleep.
Amen!

3. Amen 03:55
----

4. Just One More Time 05:28
------------------

I think I can explain about how the pigs music works.
Well, this should be interesting.
....

#CC
# Discussion from here to the final phrase
#
Yeah, it's a vicious circle, you got it!
#
# Reappeared with colorful details on CPIII track _How The Pig' Music Works_.

Any sort of motion has its effect on, on the pony's manes.
You know, the thing on their neck.
Hmm...
As soon as the pony's manes starts to get good in the back
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Really funny pan on hippies emotions expressed in WOIIFTM _Who Needs
# The Peace Corps?_
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya Frisco!
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# How I love ya, How I love ya
# Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
#
# From: dem...@natlab.research.philips.com (David Demery)
# Also remember that long hair gathered at the back of the head is usually
# termed a `pony-tail.' Many hippies were wearing their hair that way in the
# Sixties.

6. King Kong 07:38
---------

#CC
# Try _Uncle Meat_ album (side 4/CD 2) for the theme full-blown.

10. Take Your Clothes Off 13:58
---------------------
#CC
# Check WOIIFTM _Take Your Clothes Off Then You Dance_ for funny and
# viciously flower-power-sucks lyrics.

WE'RE ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY
==============================

Notes and Comments
ver.27-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

words from CD booklet

special thanks for
whispering, whistles and
censored stuff to
Robbert Heederick <heed...@uva.fwi.nl>
and
ba...@irt.com (Don Baake(VAX))

Who Needs The Peace Corps?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# The Peace Corps was a highly-touted "alternative service" program pitched
# to young folks who might not be ready to get a job immediately. It was
# introduced by Pres. Kennedy. Young college-age people were recruited to go
# to poorer, mostly "third world" countries, to help them with medical needs,
# school or road or sewer construction, teaching English, things like that.
# They lived with the folks for about two years, mostly in the "native"
# manner. The song is saying, "That's just more cop-out - forget it and be a
# hippie." Of course, it's _lampooning_ that idea, not preaching it.

Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig & sleep
^^^^^^^^^
# Was there really such inpatient guys that couldn't wait for they own
# hair to grow?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Yes, but also with a wig they can easily remove it and be normal again.
# It's just a temporary fashion thing.

On Owsley's floor
^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# As far as I know Augustus Owsley was drop out chemist and famouse
# manufacturer of very pure and strong LSD. For more reference see
# Tom Wolfe _Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test_ book.

Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO

I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# The center of the hippie movement was the Haight-Ashbury area of San
# Francisco, near the corner of Haight St. and Ashbury St.

I will wonder around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye all the time
I will love every one

* I will love the police as they kick the shit * Censored out on
* out of me on the streets * the original vinyl

# From: krf...@mmm.com (Kerry R. Field)
# The last line is _not_ censored on the original vinyl I have.
#
# From: wpma...@tx.ncsu.edu (Bill Madden)
# Mine is V6 5045X
# Okay, here is some more catalyst. Collectors will pay 3 times as much,
# up to $500 for a near mint copy of WOIIFTM that has the line:
# "I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me" deleted from the
# song "Who Needs the Peace Corps"
# This was a late edited version and went out as V6-5045 as well.
# My copy does not have this, and I have listened carefully.
#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)
# We seem to be talking about two different levels of censorship. I
# specified in my post that I was referring to the version of Money with no
# publicity "balling," no "flower power sucks," no "I still remember Mama
# with her apron and her pad, feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe," etc. This
# is the first pressing, with the matrix number MGS-1250-REV. Zappa got all
# those sequences restored for the second pressing, which has the matrix
# number MGS-1250-REV-F. (Zappa explains the circumstances in The Real
# Frank Zappa Book.) So the CD is NOT the censored version in this sense.
# However, all vinyl editions have "Harry You're A Beast" and "Mother
# People" censored, and the new CD DOES repeat this censorship.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# There's the "very censored" version that is quite rare - I've never seen a
# vinyl copy of it. The restored CD is the "slightly censored" version, and
# is the same as every vinyl copy I have heard. I never liked that extra
# verse on Mother People anyway. The meter doesn't quite fit with it's
# counterpart earlier in the song. Two many syllables are squozen in. Plus
# you can find decent live bootlegs with Flo and Eddie singing the extra
# verse.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# OK, this is an official FAQ editor statetment :-) I have no vinyl too.
# All censored stuff I found comparing old Ryko CD with the tape that was
# made for me long time ago by Bill Madden. So see his comments above for
# the details of that very rare but REAL release.

I will sleep, I will go to a house
Where there's a rock'n'roll band

And I will stay with them
And I will get the crabs
But I want care
* Because... * Edited out on
* the original vinyl

Concentration Moon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AMERICAN WAY
How did it start?
Thousands of creeps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Killed in the park

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)
# It wasn't Kent State because that happened in 1970 or 1971, and WOIIFTM
# was recorded in 1967/8. There was another shooting previous to Kent
# State, and this is the one that Zappa refers to, but I can't remember the
# incident.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# I don't think the song refers to an actual incident. Frank was carrying
# the hostility between hippies (or, in L.A., freaks) and the police to what
# was for him the logical end. It just so happened that within a couple of
# years, it started coming true.

SUDDENLY: DIE DIE
COP KILL A CREEP! pow pow pow
Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa...Creation
And the day after that...
And the day after that...
Also at the same time I get a work with Velvet Undeground
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
* which is as shitty group * Censored out on
* as Frank Zappa's group * the original vinyl

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)
# I don't know that they *didn't* get along, but if it's true, it's quite
# possibly due to Frank's intolerance of substance abusers. Mr. Reed was
# once booed off the stage in Cleveland because he was too drunk to perform.
# Even though it happened 20 years ago, it's still a local legend in the
# Northeastern Ohio area.
#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)
# I read once that Lou Reed had called Frank "An Untalented Asshole". On
# WOIIFTM, the comment about the Velvet Underground is being made by the
# recording engineer (whose name I can't think of), who happened to be
# working on both the Mother's and The Velvet's albums at the same time.
# Both the MOI and the VU were stablemates at MGM/Verve in those days,
# and if you look at the release numbers on the spine of the records, you
# will see that they are similar.
#
# From: spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU
# The engineer on WOIIFTM is Gary Kellgren. Tom Wilson was the producer
# for the first couple of MOI albums and also produced the first VU album, I
# believe.
# As for Zappa vs. Reed, there is a long anti-Zappa diatribe from Reed
# sometime in the 60's quoted in the VU biography "Up-Tight." Apparently
# Zappa, in turn, made nasty comments about VU during some concerts from
# those days. Ironic that both Zappa and Reed were embraced as heroes by
# Vaclav Havel.
#
# From LP liners notes
# GARY KELLGREN (picture in badge on cut-out page), engineer for
# two months of basic sessions at MAYFAIR STUDIOS is the one
# doing all the creepy whispering.
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Also, at the same time, I get to work with the Velvet Underground, which
# is as shitty a group as Frank Zappa's group."
# Spoken by recording engineer Gary Kellgren, and no doubt reflecting his
# true personal opinion. ("Kellgren, who cordially despises Zappa's music..."
# from Walley's book, paraphrased from memory) Included by Frank as being
# suitably irreverent.
#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# I'm not sure of the origin of this animosity, but first became aware of
# it when leafing through a book of rock 'n roll quotes. There was one
# from Lou Reed about playing the theatre in London where Zappa had been
# pitched into the orchestra pit 1971 and how much pleasure he got
# thinking about that.
# Another good quote in that book was about Lou Reed. I can't remember
# the source, but that person said that it was about a decade between good
# Lou Reed songs.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Over the years I've seen lots of quotes from Lou Reed slagging off FZ
# in a big way, but I've never heard any negative stuff back from FZ about
# Lou Reed. In fact, in 1982 when he did his special dee-jay slot on Radio 1
# (UK) he played 'All tomorrow's parties' from the first VU album,...er.....
# whatever that tells us.
#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# From Miles' Visual Documentary:
# 3-29 May (1966)
# Double bill opening for Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable with the
# Velvet Underground and Nico at The Trip, Los Angeles. The hometown crowd
# naturally cheered The Mothers and booed the Velvets whose sombre black New
# York outfits didn't fit in with the garish Californian Freaks. The Byrds,
# Jim Morrison (still at UCLA Film School at the time) Sonny & Cher and Mama
# Cass were all in the audience for the opening night. Lou Reed developed a
# seething hatred for Zappa: "He's probably the single most untalented person
# I've heard in my life. He's two-bit, pretentious, academic, and he can't
# play rock 'n' roll, because he's a loser. And that's why he dresses up
# funny. He's not happy with himself and I think he's right." [Reed]
# This is because Zappa would make fun of the Velvets as part of his stage
# rap... "These guys really suck!"
# It's hard to imagine how the Velvets and The Mothers could have shared the
# bill for the whole month without violence occurring. It was perhaps
# fortunate that the Sheriff's office closed down the club on the third day
# of the engagement. However, the Warhol gang and The Mothers played one more
# gig together:
#
# 28-29 May
# Fillmore Auditorium, San Francisco. The opening audition band (who didn't
# get paid) was The Jefferson Airplane.
#
# From: John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk>
# Apparently, if I remember correctly, FZ and Herb Cohen supposedly blocked
# the release of 'The Velvet Underground and Nico' until after 'Freak Out'
# came out, so that the latter would be forever remembered as the first
# 'weird' album to be released. Sounds totally preposterous doesn't it, but
# is there any truth in it?
#
# From: roto...@cats.ucsc.edu (Alexander Shane Dickey)
# Actually, in "Up-Tight:The Velvet Underground Story" it all but says that.
# It definitely alludes to the fact that Lou was pissed that Verve was
# releasing "Freak Out" first. This could be Lou's side of the argument. As
# for Frank, I just think he thought the VU sucked.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# It's interesting also to note that when FZ was poshumously inducted to
# Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame ( Jan, 1995 ) it was Lou Reed who did the honors
# and said how much he missed Zappa's integrity and his firebrand politics.
# And even as cited by John_Dessi <Larry....@ncl.ac.uk> said
# "I respected Frank Zappa, and I know that he respected me"
# And Frank's daughter Moon in her turn started the acceptence speech
# by this words ( johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli) transription )
# "This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that."
#
# From: Cliff Heller <fn...@panix.com>
# Vlad, just one quick comment
# You devoted a lot of time to the FZ/Lou Reed controversy, but I don't think
# it's fair to end with this anecdote without including Gails commentary on
# the whole Hall of Fame thing. From her comments, and what I know about the
# industry, Lou and Moons on-stage comments were just show-business
# nicey-nicey between people that hate each other.
# The choice of Lou to induct Frank was a great insult to the Zappa family.
# Gail said, among other thing "Lou never had a nice thing to say about
# Frank".
# Also include that quite some time before the Hall of Fame induction Ahmet
# led audiences at Z shows in loud chants of "Fuck Lou Reed!" (At least he
# did this in New York, I can only presume he did so elsewhere - unless the
# fact that it was Reed's home town made it special).
# Unfortunately, I don't have the text of the Gail quotes, but I suspect
# they are available somewhere. Feel free to include any of these comments
# in upcoming revisions of this Notes & Comments.
# It seems like a lot of space to devote to the FZ/LR stuff, but this might
# be the best place to include it, if it isn't documented elsewhere.
#

# Thank you, Cliff, for a great suggestion. Here is it straight from our
# fabulous Dr. John.
#
# From: sci...@primenet.com (John V. Scialli)
#
# Text of Lou Reed Introductory Speech, Rock and Roll Hall of
# Fame (2:17 min)
#
#
# It's very rare in life to know someone who affects things; changes
# them in a positive way. I've been lucky enough to have known
# some in my life: Andy Warhol, Doc Pomus. People whose
# vision and integrity was such that it moved the world a bit. People
# who, through the articulation of their talents and intelligence, were
# able to leave things better than they had found them. People who
# were not only not in it for the money, to paraphrase Frank Zappa.
# Frank Zappa was such a person and of the many regrets I have in
# life, not knowing him a lot better is one of them.
# Whether writing symphonies, satirical broadsides or casting a
# caustic glow across the frontier of madness that makes up the
# American political landscape; whether testifying before Congress
# to put the PMRC in its rightful lowly place, or acting as a cultural
# conduit for President Vaclav Havel and the Czech government,
# Frank was a force for reason and honesty in the business
# deficient in those areas. As we reward some with money for the
# amusement they supply to the cultural masses, I think the
# induction of Frank Zappa in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
# distinguishes the Hall as well as the inductee. [applause]
# Musicians usually cannot speak. That's why they communicate
# through their instruments. But Frank was one who could. And
# because music is pure, the musician is pure as well and when
# Frank spoke he demonstrated the power of purity. Who will do
# that now? I admired Frank greatly and I know he admired me. It
# gives me great pleasure to give this award to his daughter, Moon
# Zappa.
#
#
#
# Text of Moon Zappa's Acceptance Speech (1:44 min)
#
#
# This is so nice. Thank you, Lou. I really appreciate that.
#
# I'm a little dyslexic and earlier I freed my ass.(*) I'm hoping my
# mind will follow. [sigh, sniff] [Applause] Um, thank you and, uhh, I
# know you know I had said that this is the year of the end of the
# bullshit promises and I am really sorry that my father missed that.
# And, um, uhh, I've almost, almost, forgiven the Wait Staff here
# because my heart is open from watching all of this. [gestures
# towards the screen on which Zappa montage had been shown]
# and it's very odd to be back there [backstage] before you come
# up because you actually hear the command given but I just want
# to say that this really belongs to his, his fans and um, music really
# is a language and I think that some languages are easy to
# understand than others. I don't think it's any accident that the
# Slavic countries really appreciated my father the most because it's
# really hard to get the accents down and everything. And, um, I
# just really want to say thank you and I think that he would really
# have enjoyed this. Thank you.
#
# (*) From: met...@pablo.physics.lsa.umich.edu (Chris Metzler)
# Sure. It's a musical joke. It refers to the classic George Clinton /
# Funkadelic album, "Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow." Funkadelic
# was way cool.
# Moon is saying that she's dyslexic and did it in the wrong order. Why?
# I don't know. But I'm sure that's what it's a reference to.
#
#
# Here's Gail's interview comments:
#
# Slightly edited by the Freditor of T'mershi Duween:
#
# ZAPPA & THE ROCK UNROLLED HALL OF FARCE
#
# "Ten days before the actual ceremony," says Gail Zappa, "we still hadn't
# received invitations. The producer said, 'Oh that's unconscionable! We can
# give you two free tickets.' Well, there's _five_ of us of course. He said,
# 'Well, we can sell you additional tickets at fifteen hundred dollars a
# piece, but you can't sit together.' I just laughed. Moon had expressed an
# interest in going, so we decided she'd accept the award. A week before the
# ceremony, they called me and said Edward Van Halen -who would have been
# perfect - had turned down their offer to induct Frank because he doesn't do
# these things. So I suggested Johnny "guitar' Watson whom Frank knew, loved
# and had worked with. They said 'No.' I won't say why because I don't want to
# hurt Johnny, but I did tell them that Johnny was one of the most lucid and
# articulate people I'd ever heard interviewed. I suggested Aerosmith, but was
# told they were going to induct Led Zeppelin. So I suggested Led Zeppelin.
# Again they said no. I asked them who chooses these
# things and was told 'The Board.' I asked if there were any musicians on the
# board, and more importantly are there any black musicians. They had to call
# me back and they replied 'Yes one: Berry Gordy.'
# "They then said 'We've invited Lou Reed to do it.' I was laughing. It was
# just _so_ ironic. I said I'd talk to my kids and they were against it; they
# believed Lou had millions of chances to make up with Frank. So Lou called. I
# told him 'Listen, you said lots of shitty things about Frank.' We discussed
# it and he finally said 'If I said anything flip that was _meant_ to be
# funny, I'm sorry.' Actually Frank admired him as a songwriter; 'Femme
# Fatale' and 'All Tomorrow's Parties' were two of Frank's favorites.
# "We asked for a car to take Moon to the ceremony. The producer told Moon
# that I said she'd be giving clearance to use the Frank footage on MTV which
# was totally not true! He said 'That's OK, the show's running long, so we'll
# just cut Frank.' Moon called him back and made him apologize for making her
# father sound insignificant. A limo did take her to the show, but there was
# no-one to pick her up afterwards! I have this vision of her standing in the
# rain, flagging down a cab with the award in her hand...
# "I watched the broadcast and they didn't play any of his music, although
# they played at least one song by every other artist. And then I heard Joe
# Perry say that Led Zeppelin has asked Aerosmith to induct them months
# before, so how come we only got word a week before? This is a man who went
# to Capitol Hill for these people! When Moon said Frank would have enjoyed
# it, she meant the musicians. As Lou said, it honored the Hall to induct
# Frank and not the other way round. It was stupid, insensitive and just
# thoughtless."

AMERICAN WAY
Threatened by US
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Kerry R. Field" <krf...@mmm.com>
# I think back to the Vietnam war protests I experienced. Anytime the
# police or National Guard clubbed and arrested people they were handcuffed
# and dragged to a bus for transport to the police station for processing.
# What was always ironic to me is that it was usually a yellow school bus,
# The same vehicle that transported most of us to and from our formal
# education. I also believe FZ capitalized US to state that the American
# Way was threatened from within, but us from the US of A.

Drag a few creeps
^^^^^^^^^^
Away in a bus

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
# The other thing to remember is the difference between "freaks" and
# "hippies." It's a bit like the difference between "punk" and "new wave"
# was in the early eighties, or the difference between some soup kitchens for
# winos and a multimillion-dollar Homelessness Industry. Freaks were
# basically a bunch of dissatisfied reasonably young people, sometimes
# imaginative, sometimes angry, sometimes destructive, and sometimes stupid.
# Hippiedom was built supposedly on the foundation of freak culture but was
# really Big Business. When most of the album was recorded, the scales were
# still pointing toward freaks. When it was released, it was Hippiedom all
# the way.
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I remember reading in some FZ related material (maybe The Real FZ Book?)
# that it was a reference to the fact that after the "real" freak scene had
# started, it was promptly glommed onto by tourists (speaking
# metaphorically, i.e. folks that had found an exciting new trend to
# emulate).
# Getting back to the original thread - I think the songs in question are
# referring to "creeps" rather than "freaks" (e.g. "Cop kill a creep - pow
# pow pow"). I think this sort of makes sense, in that "freaks" seems to
# encompass more sociological ground than "creeps," the latter referring
# more to appearance than other matters - and "creeps" being a group that
# could be victimized on more superficial grounds by those not interested in
# looking further.

Bow Tie Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...operator?
phone for a minute, please...
Hello?
...yes sir...
Ah, can you call six seven eight nine eight six six
...
Yes
Right
Is that Vickie?
^^^^^^^
He's gonna bump you off the ass

# OK, it's silly question, but as far as liners notes point to Pamela
# Zarubica
# SUZY CREAMCHEESE: Telephone
# may be someone happen to know who the hell was Vickie The Pam friend
# in trouble?

Harry, You're a Beast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MADGE, I WANT YOUR BODY!
HARRY, GET BACK!
MADGE, IT'S NOT MERELY
PHYSICAL!
HARRY, YOU'RE A BEAST!
* Don't come in me in me * Censored out on
* Don't come in me in me * the original vinyl
* Don't come in me in me *
MADGE... I COULDN'T HELP IT
.../... DOGGONE IT!

Absolutely Free
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't do publicity balling for you anymore...

# This is a voice of Cheese, aka Pamela Zarubica

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And paste them in

# From: Chris Boosalis <boos...@asu.edu>
# Look, Frank had a habit of making fun of cheepnis -- truly cheap
# American culture. The stamps he's referring to are the S and H green
# stamps we used to receive from the gas stations and stores. The stamps
# were green and had a red S and H on them. We would then lick them, and
# paste them in these little S and H green stamp booklets, like amateur
# stamp collectors. After filling up about 5 - 5,000,000 books (each book
# held about 100 - 150 stamps) we would take them to the local S and H
# green stamp store, and BUY stuff with the books. For 30 books, you could
# get a cheap radio, and for 300 books, you could get a crappy ten-speed bike.
# It was an amazing marketing venture, held by the major oil and food
# companies here in the states: people would only go to the stores and buy
# gas from the places where they could "earn" a cheap premium (those stupid
# stamps, and that shitty merchandise).
# That is what he's peeing on, my friend, and not anything else.

DISCORPORATE
And we will begin...

* WAH WAH! * Censored out on
* Flower Power sucks! * the original vinyl

UNBIND YOUR MIND
THERE IS NO TIME
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From _Dictionary of American Slang_ H. Wentworth & S.B. Flexner
#
# boing boing-boing - exclam. An expression of apprectiation or
# acknowledgement of and toward a sexually attractive girl or young
# woman
# Is there any pan on the name of Boeing aircraft manufacturers?
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Bizarre. I think there's much too much being read into what is basically
# a nonsense sound. A spring makes the same sound. It does have a comical
# connotation of "popping a boner". I would state with nearly 100% certainty
# that it has nothing to do with Boeing.

Flower Punk
~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
flower in your hand?
Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a
psychedelic band.

# Hey Joe ( Jimi Hendrix version )
# --------
#
# Hey, Joe, uh, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# Hey, Joe, I said, where you going witn that gun in you hand?
# I'm going down to shot my old lady
# You know, I caught her messin' around with another man, yeah.
#
# From: lsee...@oregon.uoregon.edu (Luke Mitchell Seemann)
# I'm assuming that Flower punk came after [ Jimi Hendrix' ] Hey joe and is
# a righteous parody.
#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Flower Punk was released in 68, and Hendrix released Hey Joe in '67.
# However, Hey Joe is not a Hendrix tune. It was released sometimes earlier
# by a group I cannot remember at the time.
# Yes [ it's parody ], but if I remember it correctly, Flower Punk is a lot
# closer to the original version of Hey Joe than the much cooler Hendrix
# version.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# "Hey Joe" is credited to Billy Roberts on the Hendrix vinyl which (I
# think) came out in '67. Deep Purple covered it in '68. I don't have the
# Billy Roberts publishing date. I don't even know if he was a recording
# artist.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# Some albums credit "Hey Joe" to Billy Roberts, and others credit it to
# Chet (or Chester) Powers. Chet Powers wrote "Get Together", which was
# recorded by the Youngbloods and countless other bands. Under his real
# name, Dino Valente, he released one solo album and was lead vocalist
# with the Quicksilver Messenger Service (when he wasn't in prison for
# possession of drugs).
# Does anyone know who Billy Roberts was? Who ripped off whom here?
#
# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>
# Somewhere I read once that Billy Roberts, Chet Powers, Jesse Oris Farrow,
# and Dino Valenti were all the same person. I don't know about Billy
# Roberts, for sure, but the other three names refer to the very same
# person, who was the lead singer for Quicksilver, when the lead singer
# sounded suspiciously like Johnny Rivers.
#
# From: dm...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Jeffrey M. Gold)
# I think that the first group to record Hey Joe was The Leaves. Probably
# an early 1960's recording.
#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)
# Hey Joe, by the Leaves: charted July 1966 for 9 weeks, on Mira 222.
# (personally favor, as parodies/tributes, the duwops, as on Cruisin')
#
# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)
# Jim Pons (ex-Mothers, ex-Turtles) was a member of a mid-60s band called
# the Leaves who had a minor hit called 'Hey Joe". Small world.

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that
button on your shirt?
I'm goin' to the love-in to sit & play
^^^^^^^
my bongos in the dirt.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "Love-in": 1960s hippie happening wherein they sat around, got stoned,
# and let it all hang out, so to speak. [ Was there any fun in it? ] Sure,
# if you were stoned enough. Implication here is that that resultant bongo
# playing was just amateurish banging.

(Just at this moment, the 2700
microgram dose of STP ingested by
^^^
FLOWER PUNK shortly before the

# Once again the Dictionary of American Slang
#
# STP n. A synthetic drug ( 2-5 methoxy-4-methylamphetamine ) which in
# large doses, produces hallucinogenic effects of long duration. The
# initials properly stand for Serenity, Tranquillity and Peace.
# Was it really popular time wastin' substance then?
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# For a while, with some folks, but as I remember it was dangerous, leading
# to psychotic episodes. One of the first manifestations of the whole hippie
# thing going really sour.
#
# From David G. Walley _No Commercial Potential_
# pp.125-126
# "Anyone who depended on street dealers was taking his life in his hands -
# something touted as LSD could just as easy be combination of methedrine,
# stychnine, horse tranquilazer, or even STP, a governement-developed
# hallucinogen for chemical warfare that produced several hallucinations,
# paranoia, and depressionlasting up to three days."

Golly, do I ever have a lot of soul?
I think I love you!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
# This is a line from "Wild Thing", a hit for the Troggs.

Questi dominga?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@xantia.caspur.it>
# ... "questi" is italian and means "these", "dominga" is not italian (
# "domenica" is the italian for "sunday") but I think "domingo" is the
# spanish for "sunday". So "dominga" is a kind of mix!

I could barely even play the
changes to this song on my, on
my guitar
But now I'm very professional
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I can play the guitar

#CC
# I'm professional. I can do everything.
#
# the basic expression of Jimmy Carl Black's character in 200 Motels movie

I will say: "Hello Dolly!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# Any link to old jazz standard?

And I will walk
I will walk up to her and I
will smile at her
And I will impress her and I
will say: "Hello, baby,
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# _Fillmore East_ album. _What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are_ song
#
# What's s girl like you
# Doin' in a place like this?
#
# I left my place after midnight
# And I came to this hall
#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)
# I don't think this is CC. "What's a girl like you" etc. is a standard,
# cliche pick-up line used to strike up conversation with a member of the
# opposite camp in a bar.

Nasal Retentive Calliope Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beautiful!
God! It's God!
I see God!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# I believe it was Stan Ivester who once said that here we have
# the critical point mentioned in liners note
#
# ERIC CLAPTON (noted philosopher & guitarist
# with THE CREAM) has graciously consented to
# speak to you in several critical areas.
#

/\/|/\/|/\| a few bars of surf tune /\/|/\/|/\|
/\/|/\/|/\| goes there /\/|/\/|/\|

#CC
# From: Don White <whi...@hccs.cc.tx.us>
# The song in question is called "Heavies" by The Rotations. It was one
# of the singles produced by FZ during the Studio Z days in Cucumonga.
#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)
# get Cucamonga Years
# cut 10 Heavies (1964) THE ROTATIONS

Let's Make The Water Turn Black
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now believe me when I tell you that my
song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# There was an explanation of Let's Make The Water Turn Black in Rolling
# Stone of August 27th, 1987, where We're Only In It... was named one of the
# best 100 albums of the last 20 years:
#
# In addition to lambasting hippie culture, Zappa also sought to immortalize
# some of his more bizarre childhood acquaintances -- in particular, two
# brothers named Kenny and Ronnie, who featured in the song "Let's Make the
# Water Turn Black.''
# "Ronnie had been busted for bootlegging," says Zappa. "He used to make
# raisin wine and sell it to kids in junior high school. Ronnie saved snot on
# a window in his room. He had gotten into this syndrome of flipping boogers.
# One day his mother went in there and started howling because she couldn't
# see through the window -- it was all green. They had to use chisels and
# Ajax to scrape the stuff off. This is absolutely true."
# Kenny, the other brother, lived in a garage in back of the house with
# Mothers sax man and roadie Jim "Motorhead" Sherwood. Since there was no
# plumbing in the garage, they began urinating in some Mason jars Kenny's
# mother kept for canning, then in the earthenware crocks that Ronnie had
# used to concoct his raisin wine. They covered the crocks with a board.
# "One day," says Zappa, "just out of curiosity, Kenny lifted the board to
# see how the whiz was doing, and there were these >things< swimming in it --
# like some mutant tadpoles that had been brewing in there. The father found
# out and made them flush it all down the toilet. So whatever was living in
# the jars is now probably eleven feet long and living in the sewer system in
# California."
# And the song's concluding line, "Wait till the fire turns green"?
# "When they weren't pissing in jars and saving their snot on the windows,"
# says Zappa, "they were lighting each other's farts. So there it is. It's
# like a folk song."

Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps & chairs to San Ber'dino squares
* And I still remember Mama with her * Censored out on
* apron & her pad * the original vinyl
* Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe! *

(Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away!)
^^^^^
# From: John Wittenberg <jo...@cruzio.com>
# 'Poots' are more commonly called 'farts', and are reputed to produce a
# green flame when ignited.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# The process known as pyroflatulation.
#
# From: Greg...@LFGMS.logica.com (Martin Gregorie)
# Fartuous info: They burn with a nice orange flame, but are difficult to
# light unless you use a diffusor (ie underpants) . This also prevents brush
# fires starting in tender places!

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
^^^^^^
# Seems to be something you could drag out of your nose :-)
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Right - boogers.

Whizzing & pasting & pooting through the day...
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)
# Whizzing = pissing.
# Pasting = interesting mucus experiments.

Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# I strongly suspect that _Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance_ was a
# parody at first place. Not in general sense, but in particular :-)
# Look what I found in _Viva Zappa!_ concerning FZ covering by some
# obscure band named Gruppo Sportivo
# "... Take Your Clothes Off When Your Dance ( Zappa) who himself
# re- used a theme from the Drifters _True Love/True Love_ ( Pomus/Shuman )"

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go
^^^^^^^^^^^
stretch-elastic pants...

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Neither trade name or pun, but reference to the "scene" where you find
# this kind of clothing. It was often called "mod," here meaning simply
# "modern", [not as formal as the English "mod" style]. Go-go's were the
# 1960s version of disco.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Making fun of hipster advertising lingo of the day.

#CC
# This same tune became the final part of _Lumpy Gravy_
# a BALLET which probably don't make it :-)))))))

Mother People
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person
* Better take a look before you say * Censored out on
* you don't care, shut your * the original vinyl
* fucking mouth about the length of my hair, *
* how would you survive *
* if you were alive, shitty little person *

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people

UNCLE MEAT
==========

Notes and Comments
ver.23-March-1996

dialogues
Joined International Transcribing Effort
of :-)
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

A little bit of Italian
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

The Voice Of Cheese
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: Hello, teenage America,
My name is Suzy Creemcheese,
I'm Suzy Creemcheese because
I've never wron fake eyelashes
in my whole life
And I never made it on surfing set
And I never made it on beatnik set
And I couldn't cut the groupie set either
And...Um
Actually I'm really fucked up in Europe.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Actually, *I* really fucked up in Europe.
# Makes sense that way.

( Hrrrrrrrrrr )
Now that I've done it all over and
Nobody else will accept me
I've come home to my Mothers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# In accordance with book exerpt below the voice of Cheese seems to belong
# to Pamela Zarubica
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# from "No Commercial Potential" (pp.92-93 of 1980 edition ) about
# Suzy Creamcheese
#
#
# "By the latter part of 1967, success seemed imminent. Zappa was in the
# forefront of the musical explosion, though he was not getting that much
# media exposure because radio stations refused to play his music over the
# air. At this time the Garrick closed. He took a brief respite and toured
# Europe. During June, Pamela Zarubica had returned from Europe. Frank had
# married Gail in the meantime. Gail was expecting, and at first Frank wanted
# Pam to stay with Gail to help her take care of the baby that was soon to be
# born. 'Frank called me and said that there was a great desire to see Suzy
# Creamcheese because the people in Europe couldn't imagine what kind of a
# chick to associate with the picture they had seen of these guys' she recalls.
# 'He said "I'm going to Europe and they want Suzy Creamcheese, you come and
# stay with Gail," and I said "Come and stay with Gail? I am Suzy Creamcheese
# and I'm going with you because if you take some asshole who doesn't know how
# to talk to the press [on the Mothers first promotional tour for *Freak Out*,
# Frank used another girl named Suzy Creamcheese who talked to promotional men
# at MGM throughout the country] that doesn't know how to talk to people,
# you're never going to talk to anybody, period."'

Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Primer *mi carucha* ( Chevy'39)
^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Primer: To apply primer paint, a dull gray undercoat applied before
# painting an automobile. "Primer" derives from the verb "to prime" (meaning
# to prepare) the surface prior to painting. Young men with little money often
# applied primer to prevent rust on used automobiles, while saving enough
# money to buy the paint to finish the job. Eventually, "primer gray" became
# a style itself within the Chicano subculture.
#
# mi carucha: Spanish. Literally, "my carriage". "My car" of course.
#
# Chevy '39: A 1939 Chevrolet. A favorite model for modification by "hot rod"
# enthusiasts of the 1950's. Chevrolets were particularly favored by
# Mexican-American youth.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# "My car". Carrucha (correctly spelled with two Rs) means 'pulley' in
# standard Spanish, but 'car' in Chicano slang.

Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Probably not to any organized sporting event. More likely to hang out with
# other young automobile enthusiasts in the empty parking lot.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# It's nowhere now, but it used to be in El Monte, California, east of Los
# Angeles. Frank Zappa and Ray Collins wrote a song called "Memories of El
# Monte", which reminisces about the dances that were held there.
# It was recorded by the Penguins (of "Earth Angel" fame) in 1963. I don't
# know when they tore down the stadium, but the song certainly suggests that
# the dances were no longer being held as of 1963. A photograph of one of
# these dances shows that they were racially integrated, with blacks, whites,
# and hispanics plainly visible in the crowd.
#
#CC
# From: jge...@inter.nl.net (Jos Geluk)
# On the bootleg 'No commercial potential' Zappa says 'Welcome to El Monte
# Legion Stadium'. Was he actually performing there at that moment or was it
# just a form of conceptual continuity?
#
# from alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ (8/12) Bootlegs info - Part 1
# currently maintained by sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# version 2.2 (last change 7-4-94)
#
# KNOWN BOOTLEGS 1969:
# "Poot Face Boogie" (1) - Live and studio 68-69.
# "Vitamin Deficiency" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie" (and "Safe
# Muffinz", see 1971)
# "No Commercial Potential" - rerelease of "Poot Face Boogie"
# (and "Safe Muffinz", see 1971)
# ..............................................................
#
# Safe Muffinz (partial)
#
# Date: mid-1971
# Loc: El Monte Legion Stadium
# Length: ~45 min
# Catalog: takrl 1929
# X-Ref: Zappalog #212
#
# Musicians: FZ, Mark Volman, Howard Kaylan, Don Preston, Aynsley Dunbar,
# Jim Pons, Ian Underwood
#
# 1. Call Any Vegetable
# 2. The Air
# 3. Dog Breath
# .........................................................

Pick up on my *weesa* ( she is so divine)
^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# Diminutive for "Louisa".
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Huiza (pronounced weesa) is Chicano slang for 'girl'.

Helps me stealing hub caps
^^^^^^^^
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Hub cabs cover the center of a car wheel. You must pop them off in order
# to undo the bolts and change the tire. The end of the axle is called the
# "hub" so "hub cap" is really a self-explanatory term.
# During the 60's and 70's, these were very fancy - ornate with much chrome
# and they were often stolen. You used to hear talk about stealing hub caps
# a lot back then. These days, I guess they are more mundane and you don't
# hear about them being stolen as much.

Wasted all the time
Fuzzy Dice
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# (Heh-heh. We're getting deep into Mexican-American culture here, aren't
# we?). A pair of oversized dice (as in gambling) made of a hairy fabric,
# tied together with a short string and usually suspended from the interior
# rear-view mirror as a good luck token. These are for appearance only,
# and never actually used for anything.

Louie Louie
~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese: The first thing that attracted me to the Mothers music
Was the fact that they played for twenty minutes
Everybody was hissing, and booing, and falling of the dance floor
And Elmer was yelling at them to get
Off the stage and turn down they're amplifiers

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Once again the piece appeared to be kind of Pamela Zarubica recollection
#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)
# Text taken from the notorious 1972 poor-excuse-for-a-book "No Commercial
# Potential" by David Walley. (pp.56-57 of 1980 edition )
#
# "She first saw Frank Zappa while she and Julia were waiting to get into the
# Trip. The guest guitarist came in from the back. 'He used to wear this big
# fur coat that looked like it was made out of dead cat....I thought he looked
# like Omar Sharif. I always called him Omar. He played a tune with the Grass
# Roots.' After that, she saw him around with Vito and Carl Franzoni. <Note:
# Carl is the original Hungry Freak. Vito had the first crash pad for freaks
# and was the connecting force amongst LA freakdom> Finally Frank opened at
# the Trip. 'I sat there through the first set while they were playing Brown
# Shoes Don't Make It, and I was thinking to myself that I was a creep because
# my shoes were brown and then I remembered they were moccasins so I was okay
# again. They played Help I'm A Rock for twenty minutes and everyone went
# *Ugh*....I loved it. He came over after the set and said, 'I'm glad you
# could make it' and I said, 'So am I.''

FZ: Ah! I know perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet,
None other than the mighty majestic Albert Hall pipe organ

From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# It was 1969, as I remember (I was at the concert at the Royal Albert Hall
# in London). The RAH has a stage in front of a tiered seating arrangement
# (for a choir) and in the centre of this is a large pipe organ. After FZ
# made the statement, Someone who memory tells me was Don Preston (I might
# be wrong here) opened a little gate, went rushing up the stairs to the
# organ and really let it rip.
# I remember this particular concert (out of the 5 I went to) because
# the PA system really *did* eat it. Frank gave one of his monologues which
# was almost unintelligible due to the PA system and the legendary terrible
# acoustics in the Royal Albert Hall; the bits you could hear seemed to
# indicate that the entire band had their naked buttocks pressed against the
# windows of the bus that picked them up all the way from the airport into
# central London. Frank described this as 'Brown Eyeing'
# 'Louie Louie' has a remarkable influence on 'Florentine Pogen' as well...
#
# Now I come to think of it I can probably confirm the date even better. At
# the concert they were selling programmes which were made up from the cover
# of the booklet which came out with 'Uncle Meat'. FZ actually said that the
# concert was being taped and would be on the album. I never bought the
# album on vinyl; Reprise refused to release it in the UK and it actually
# came out on Transatlantic, an independent label (and quickly went out of
# print). I bought the CD a few years ago and the Concert Booklet (which I
# still have) is basically a full-sized version of the booklet which comes
# with the CD, using the same cover but different inside pages.
# On the back inside cover is one of Cal Shenkel's little notes which says
# something about working all night so that the films could be flown to
# London; I presume that he was working on the album cover some time before
# it was released and they decided to use the cover art for the cponcert
# programme.

Louie Louie
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)
# A neat book by Dave Marsh is called 'Louie,Louie: The History & Mythology
# of the World's Most Famous Rock 'n' Roll Song; Includeing the Full Details of
# Its Torture and Persecution at the Hands of the Kingsmen, J. Edgar Hoover's
# F.B.I., and a Cast of Millions; and Introducing, for the First Time Anywhere,
# the Actual Dirty Lyrics.' Also includes Zappa explaining Louie, Louie as a
# stock module, Hendrix, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Stooges, et al.
# A nice documentaion of pop history.
#
# From: JSUL...@cclink.fhcrc.org
# And let's not forget maybe 4 seconds [of Louie Louie] on "Welcome to the
# US" on The Yellow Shark.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Not to mention the whole basis of "Plastic People". It also pops up in
# "Dupree's Paradise" on YCDTOSA Volume Two, and various other places.
# Richard Berry is in the list of influences on Freak Out. Society Pages ran
# a story on "Louie Louie" in FZ's music.

Our Bizarre Relationship
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheese:
That house had your shit all over
And we had cats, we had [flies, fleas] we had lot of crabs
That we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon
except Elmer and Phil,
^^^^^ ^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# OK! Elmer seems to be Elmer Valentine. Whisky-a-Go-Go owner. But who is
# Phil? Spector? Any evidence?

The Uncle Meat Variations
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FUZZY DICE
I got'em
At the Pep Boys... at the BOYYYYYYYYYYS
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The Pep Boys is a retail chain that sells fuzzy dice and other automotive
# parts. The founders' names are Manny, Moe, and Jack.
# The Dickies did a song called "Manny, Moe, and Jack" that also mentions
# fuzzy dice.
#
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Pep Boys was (maybe still is?) a chain of Auto Parts stores. The sign
# featured cartoon faces of the the Boys: Manny, Joe, and Jack.

Fuzzy Dice & bongos
*Brodie knob & spinners*
^^^^^^
# From: lspr...@cass.ma02.bull.com (Lindley Sprague)
# Brodie made "hot rod" type auto parts, like replacement knobs for your
# stick shift. I think a "spinner" is a knob that you attached to your
# steering wheel so you could steer with one hand.

Chromium plated
Ha Ha Ha

Electric Aunt Jemima
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Electric Aunt Jemima
^^^^^^^^^^^
Goddess of Love
Khaki Maple Buckwheats
Frizzle on the stove

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# That's what printed in my German songbook.
# Aunt Jemima: das amerikanische Gegenstuck zu Dr. Oetker. Das Wahrzeichen
# der Marke Aunt Jamima ist eine pausbackige Negerkochin.
#
# From: richts@frege (Joern Richts)
# The English translation is:
# "Aunt Jemima: the american counterpart of Dr. Oetker. The emblem of the
# brand Aunt Jemima is a chubby-cheeked negro cook."
# Dr. Oetker is a german food brand, famous for its baking ingredients. I
# think this isn't very helpful for non-Germans but now at least I know what
# Aunt Jemima.
#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Aunt Jemima (a division of the Quaker Oats Company) makes pancake mix
# and syrup. They may make other products, but pancakes and syrup are what
# they're known for. I believe the name was already part of American folklore
# before Quaker Oats used it commercially, but I'd have to check on this.
# The phrase "Khaki maple buckwheats" certainly suggests pancakes. Maple
# syrup is the traditional accompaniment for pancakes, though most commercial
# syrups contain cheaper syrups (e.g. corn syrup). Buckwheat is a grain from
# which pancakes are sometimes made.
# Khaki is a dull yellowish brown (etymologically, 'dust-colored') or cloth
# of this color used to make pants (i.e. trousers). I guess pancakes are
# more-or-less this color.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Her testy stuff could be used not only by naughty freaks, but also by
# decent american secret agents in time of great danger. Look
#
# Billy the Mountain. Just Another Band From L.A.
#
# ...And he pulled down his blue denim policeman-type pants, and he spread
# even amounts of Aunt Jemima maple syrup over the inside of his legs!...
#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Electric Aunt Jemima was a name Frank used for one of his guitar amps. He
# always was good at naming stuff.
#
# And Our Masters's voice at last to clear it out forever :-)))
#
# From _Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary by Miles_ p.42
# "I get kind oflaugh out of the fact that other people are going to try
# to interpret that stuff and come up with some grotesque, interpretations
# of it. It gives me a certain amount of satisfaction. You can imagine how
# insane that must get on a song 'Electric Aunt Jemima' which was written
# about an amplifier. Yes, it's Standall amplifier, about this big, that
# I used on a couple of sessions" (Zappa: 1969)

Queen of my heart
Please hear my plea
Electric Aunt Jemima
Cook a bunch for me

Brownies in the basin
^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# The crucial ingredient is chocolate.

Monza by the street light
^^^^^
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# Monza - Another make of automobile.

Ian Underwood Whips It Out
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian: My name is Ian Underwood
And I am straight member of the group
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# I think the interpretation would be rather literal. Ian, with his music
# degree, is not a freak, and considers himself to be the "straight"
# (conservative) member of the band. I doubt that the other meaning of
# "straight" (erect) "member" (penis) was intended by Ian when he spoke the
# line, but it was immediately exploited by FZ as he dropped in the "Wowie
# Zowie" comment.
#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
# Three related meanings, in no particular order of importance:
# straight: 1) heterosexual
# 2) Not on drugs
# 3) Normal
# I believe 2 was implied (perhaps 3). I always found it amusing since I
# knew that Frank insisted that all members of his bands be drug free. That
# may not have been the case with the early mothers.

( Wowie Zowie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# And if we believe in written word it must be our sweet Pamela again.
# Here liners note for Freak Out! song You Didn't Try To Call Me...
# that
# ... was written to describe the situation in which Pamela Zarubica
# found herself last spring ( Wowie Zowie is what she says when she's
# not grouchy ... )

And I said I like your music,
I'd like to come down to play with you.
Two days later I came up to the recording session
And Frank Zappa was sitting at the control room
I walk up and said

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# I believe it was We're Only In It... recording session.

A Pound For A Brown On The Bus
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: j...@panini.att.com (Jeff Rocca)
# Before playing "A Pound For A Brown On The Bus" at the 6/6/69 Royal
# Festival Hall show in London, England, Frank Zappa told the audience
# the legend behind the song. What follows is a transcription I made from
# a recording of this show.
#
# Frank Zappa: "In California, there's a cult known as surfers. And, some
# of you might know about surfers, a lot of you might have missed out on this
# part of your social history. Surfers are young people with bleach-blond
# hair and they have a sun tan -- you don't know what that is here -- and they
# have cut-off pants which makes them look sort of funky and authentic and
# nature-boy style. And they have rubber sandals called Birachies. And they
# have these things called surf boards which are made out wood and fiberglass,
# gayly painted. And of course they have the Woolly Wagon, which is an old
# station-wagon with wood panelling on the side, or if you're too cheap, you
# paint wooden panelling on the side. And you live this life where you like
# to go to the beach all the time, even if its freezing cold, jump out there
# and flop around in the water, and then swim out with your surf board and
# ride in on the waves. It's very thrilling and it gets you a lot of pussy
# with the surfer girls. And similar mating practices exist in all walks of
# life. Truck drivers have certain things they do to get laid. Newspaper
# writers. They all have their own little thing and there's girls that go
# along with each one of these stupid games. They're all broken down into
# little pockets of resistance. Anyway, we have these surfers and they have
# this curious thing called the Brown Out, which is part of their culture.
# Now, the Brown Out is the thing that you do to impress your surfer friends
# and to make other people's eyebrows go up and down. And what you do is you
# get the other person's attention -- you wave at them or you say something
# amusing -- and they turn around and look at you and then suddenly you
# reverse your position, drop your pants, and stick your buns out at them.
# That is a Brown Out. Also known as a Brown. And also known as Mooning on
# the East Coast. There are a number of variations on this procedure.
# If you Brown Out against a wire screen, its called a chipped beef. And if
# you do it against a plate glass window at a delicatessen, its called a
# pressed ham.
# Last year, before we did our Festival Hall show, we arrived at the airport
# and were provided with a touring bus with nice big windows so that everybody
# on the outside could see in and we could see out. The lovely ride from the
# airport to the Winton Hotel. During this trip, a wager was made between
# Jimmy Carl Black, the Indian of the group, and Bunk Gardner, our
# silver-haired tenor saxophone virtuoso. Jimmy Carl Black turned to Bunk
# Gardner and said "I'll bet you a pound you won't Brown Out on this here
# bus." Bunk Gardner, being the crafty silver-haired devil that he is,
# quickly computed the difference between a pound and a dollar and had his
# pants off before anybody knew what was happening.
# <Audience applauds> I can tell by the applause that you admire him for
# doing this. And I can tell that you are trying to project into it
# desperately, maybe even be able to identify with it. Who knows, on the
# street a new rash of social disturbances, maybe the thing to replace flower
# power? We know what will replace flower power -- The Revolution.
# This piece of music is program music because it tells you the story with
# pictures that go along with different parts of the music to evoke realistic
# scenes in your imagination. This is an inferior kind of music designed for
# audiences who can't stand to just listen to music, but need pictures. It was
# invented here in Europe a long time ago. The first part of the piece has
# the simulated effect of London traffic. We do this ingeniously by using
# actual horns which you squeeze with your hand, that go "oo-bah." The next
# thing that happens in the piece is a jolly little theme which gives the
# impression that the Mothers Of Invention love to go around the country-side
# in a bus with big windows. Followed by another abstruse-type section that
# simulates the conversation on the bus, the calculation of the monetary
# difference, and this leads up to a throbbing, and otherwise surging climax,
# wherein the pants come off and the buns are revealed. Followed by some
# low-grade rocking out and instrumental improvisation for about the next
# 20 minutes or something."

Mr. Green Genes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# From _The Real FZ Book_
# Because I recorded a song called "Son of Mr. Green Genes" on the
# Hot Rats album in 1969, people have belived for years that the character
# with the name on the Captain Kangaroo TV show ... was my "real" Dad.
#
#CC
# Seems to be directly related to the Absolutely Free _The Duke of Prunes_
# suite
# From what appears to be AF liners note
# "The Duke of Prunes is surrealistic love songs. Euphemistic sexual imagery
# popular in country blues tunes, ..., is transmuted in this popular piece
# from the basic '- - - me, suck me, till my eyes roll back, baby' to 'prune
# me, cheese me, go-kart...' or something like that"

Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.

"If We'd All Been Living in California"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- There's some months when you're not going to work as much as other
months. There's some months when you're going to make a lot of
money and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred
dollars a month.
- Expenses are sure high to.
If we'd all been living in California,
it would have been different.
- If we'd all been living in California,
we wouldn't have worked at all.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Surly the place was NYC
# From _The Real FZ Book_, p. 90
#
# In 1966 and '67, the L.A.P.D. and the Sheriff's Department went to war
# with the freaks in Hollywood...
# The places where they used to eat ... were under constant surveillance.
# The city government threatened to take away Elmer ( Whisky-a-Go-Go )
# Valentine's liquor license if he didn't stop booking long-haired acts
# into his club. There was no place left to work in Hollywood

The Air
~~~~~~~
I got busted
Coming through customs
With a suitcase
Full of tapes
It was special
Tape recording
And they grabbed me
While I was boarding
Then they hit me

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Seems to be a fantasie or very obscure recollection of Studio Z episod

And they beat me
And they told me
They don't like me
And I crashed
In my Nash
^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Nash was an automobile manufacturer some time ago. My father's first car
# was a Nash, and I think it was old then (late forties/early fifties).
#
# From: Righ...@crmail.crd.lord.com
# In my Nash - Nash is a reference to another defunct automobile company. I
# knew a fellow with a Nash when I was in high school. The last of the
# American automakers to go out of business was Studebaker.

Cruising For Burgers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cruising for burgers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In daddy's new car
My phony freedom card
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brings to me
Instantly
ECSTASY

# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>
# It still is today [favorite South Californian pastime], among a certain age
# group. Teenagers old enough to drive (over 16 years of age), but not old
# enough to drink legally (possibly 18 years of age back then, 21 now) cruise
# around aimlessly, looking for entertainment of any sort. A fake ID card
# (forged, borrowed, or stolen identification which indicates that the holder
# is old enough to enter an establishment which serves alcohol, or to purchase
# alcohol) would provide an alternative to the endless cruising.
# That is the "phony freedom card".
# "Cruising for burgers" is itself a double-entendre. While teenage life in
# the automobile often centers around meeting friends at various drive-in
# hamburger places, it also centers around sex. "Cruising for burgers"
# literally means driving from one hamburger place to another, but it could
# also be interpreted as prowling for females. The fake ID card would enable
# the purchase of alcohol, which would greatly increase the probability of
# sexual encounters during the evening's excursions.

Tengo Na Minchia Tanta
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# From the sound of it, the recording dates from the early 80s, probably 1981
# or 2, around the time that the newer footage in Dub Room Special was shot.
# It's not new bass and drums on an old song, it's a completely new song
# shoehorned into Uncle Meat - and IMO it doesn't fit too well. It's a novelty
# knockoff in the tradition of Valley Girl or I Don't Even Care.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# The man who sung this piece ( and obviously wrote/imrovised lyrics ) was
# Massimo Bassoli. Below a little introduction and translation attempt
#
# From: Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>
# Massimo Bassoli is an Italian rock journalist. He is the editor of the rock
# magazine "TUTTIFRUTTI" published monthly, and before that he was the editor
# of another magazine called "ROCKSTAR".Both magazines are a kind of fashion
# thing mainly devoted to the USA and UK majors' music with some Italian stuff
# certainly not the best to my taste. He also wrote a book about FZ, published
# in 1982, called "ZAPPA (E' PIU' DURO DI TUO MARITO)" (in English: "Zappa (
# harder than your husband)").
# I don't know exactly why but it seems that this guy was in a sort of
# connection with FZ.

Tengo(1) na minchia(2) tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi'(3) | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH

Devi usare un pollo, | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN,
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Se me la vuoi tastar | IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia(4) | LOOK THAT HE/SHE(4) IS EATING IT
E mentre se la sta a pappa' | AND WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
Se la sta a succhia' | HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia da tastar | I'VE GOT A DICK TO BE TOUCHED

Come on baby
Come on baby, suck my fire!
Oh yeah

Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Mentre se la sta a pappa' | WHILE HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT
Chiedimi che cosa fa | ASK ME WHAT IS HE/SHE DOING
E' chiaro! se la sta a succhia' | IT'S CLEAR! HE/SHE IS SUCKIN' IT

Tengo na minchia tanta, | I'VE GOT A BIG BUNCH OF DICK,
Tengo na minchia accussi' | I'VE GOT A DICK THAT MUCH
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Guarda che se la mangia | LOOK THAT HE/SHE IS EATING IT
Se la sta a pappa' | AND HE/SHE IS GUZZLING IT

Darling, darling, darling
Look at your sister
Do something like that, thanks

Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Devi usarlo per misurar | YOU MUST USE IT TO MEASURE
Devi usare un pollo | YOU MUST USE A CHICKEN
Cosi' me la potrai succhiar | SO THAT YOU'LL BE ABLE TO SUCK ME IT

Ooh, you both suckin' stereo
Jesus

Translator's Notes
------------------
(1) "tengo" is dialectal (Naples dialect mainly), it means "I HAVE".
(2) "minchia" is one the infinite dialectal synonymous of penis. This word
is born in Sicily but now is used in all Italy.
(3) "accussi'" another dialectal word mainly used in the Naples area. Means
"THAT MUCH" and it should be followed, in the great Italian
tradition, with a gesture aimed to show how big is the thing
you are talking about.
(4) The Italian "guarda che se la mangia" is ambiguous. The gender of the one
is eating can be left unknown so in the following I wrote HE/SHE.

Uncle Meat Film Excerpt Part II
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Italian teacher lecture kindly translated once again by
Francesco Gentile <gent...@sci.uniroma1.it>

And now dear friends
we are going to translate.
this is my left hand.

Repeat after me
Questa e' la mia mano destra | THIS IS MY RIGHT HAND

Era un senatore a 37 anni | HE WAS A 37 YEARS OLD SENATOR

And this is my last single

Translator's Notes
------------------

(1) This is the only time the text refer to the masculine gender.
So I decided to use "HE" for the rest of the excerpt even if in the
remainder the gender is unknown (and the meaning of the text is
unknown too!). See also note 4 to TNMT.
Sometimes in this excerpt you can hear a voice repeating after MB
while eating. Exhilarating! Specially when he try to repeat "37 anni".

#CC
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
# Remember Roy Estradas' recitation of this from the Baby Snakes movie?
# (10/31/77 NYC Palladium) Conceptual Project-Object Continuity.

BURNT WEENY SANDWICH
====================

Notes and Comments
ver.11-Nov-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# From: Playboy, April, 1993
#
# PLAYBOY: The titles of your records and songs are art statements, too.
# ZAPPA: Well, you have to call them something, so why not call them
# something amusing?
# PLAYBOY: For example, Burnt Weeny Sandwich?
# ZAPPA: I still eat burnt weeny sandwiches. It's one of the great
# things in life. At least it's a great lunch. You take a Hebrew
# National, put it on a fork, burn it on the stove, wrap two pieces
# of bread around it, squirt some mustard on it, eat it and you're
# back to work.

WPLJ
~~~~

The W is the white, the P is the port,
the L is the lemon, the J is the juice.
White port and Lemon Juice ..."

# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)
# WPLJ=WhitePort&LemonJuice, the original California cooler.
# A co-worker was singing the last Thursday.
#
# From: From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# I quoted this last time WPLJ came up, but here it is again.
# From Roy Porter's autobiography, "There and Back", 1991,
# Bayou Press, Wheatley, Oxford, p. 79:
#
# I didn't start dropping "bennies" until I came to Los Angeles in 1944. By
# that time pot was passe for me because I had never liked the feeling it
# gave me anyway. Pot (marijuana) made me self-conscious and a bit paranoid.
# It afforded no relaxation at all, especially while playing my instrument.
# Pot was good to sit and dig sounds with. Benzedrine was sold in two forms,
# pills and the inhalers. It was legal to buy the inhalers over the counter,
# but you were supposed to have a prescription for the pills. The pills were
# used legally, mainly by airline pilots, bus drivers, etc. - anyone who had
# to stay alert and awake in their occupation. The inhaler was a different
# story; anyone could purchase them. The benzedrine was inside the inhaler,
# saturated in an orange-coloured paper strip. At that time we were drinking
# Molotov Cocktails, which is white port wine mixed with lemon juice. Man, we
# would get four or five quarts of white port, buy some inhalers, break them
# open, put the strips in each bottle of wine, put the wine next to a heater
# or heat, and let it sit and dissolve for a few days. When you drink that
# shit, man it will blow your mind, but we would be feeling mellow being
# loaded for days without any ZZZ's. Cisco knew exactly how long to let it
# set and dissolve, just like a moonshiner.
#
# Not recommended, folks, just for historical value.
#
# From: pcr...@superior.carleton.ca (Peter Crane)
# I think they mean White Porter Lemon Juice--a mixture of wine and lemon
# juice like the song says--sounds nasty, but you might want to have it with
# a Burnt Weeny Sandwich.
#
# From: pal...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu (palmer richard allen)
# Close: White Port and Lemon Juice.
# See (hear) the original WPLJ by the Four Deuces, (Music City 790) 1955.
# Legend has it that the tune began as a jingle the group did for a local
# merchant (I think a juice company, but it's been years since I heard the
# story. The point was to sell the juice, or the port, by plugging the combo:
# "white port and lemon juice, ooh what they do to you!")
# Anyway, the jingle was played on the local radio and got so much
# response that someone talked the group into working it up into a full
# song. It is a classic!
#
# From: to...@freeport.uwasa.fi (Tommi Uschanov)
# The full song was a hit and was only after that adopted into a wine
# ad jingle, according to notes to Vol. 1 of the two-volume _Music City
# Records_ anthology on the Swedish Earth Angel label (the label is Swedish,
# not Earth Angel, named for the Penguins classic!). The wine company was
# Swiss Colony, BTW. Zappa must have been very familiar with the original
# in his youth - it was a massive hit on the West Coast, and Music City
# was based in Berkeley.

# Spanish rap transcribed and translated by
# r.goe...@frw.ruu.nl (Roland Goetgeluk) girlfriend :-)
# corrected by
# ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney) it seems on his own :-)
#

Dile, por que no merece, | Say it to him, why isn't it worth it,
dale mucho vino, | give him much more wine,
mas suave, mas suave, | cooler, cooler,
mas lindo que la chingada, | more fuckin' beautiful what the fuck,
hombre, undele pinchi vato, hombre, | man, come on damn dude, man

Tu carnal, tu carnal ese tu, | Your buddy, your buddy, eh, you,
tu sabes, toda movida, toda movida, | You know, all groove, all groove,
esa, tu sabes como es, pinchi vino, | eh, you know how it is, fuckin' wine,
puta, undele pinchi vato, undele | faggot, c'mon damn dude, c'mon
hombre (?) | man

Por que no hombre, | Why not man,
te digo que si hombre | I tell you yes, man,
te digo, chingawese(?), | I tell you, we get tight,
esta meco, ponemos mas mecos | this meco (?), we put more mecos (?)
que la chingada, .. (?) ai ai vato. | what the fuck, ai ai fuckin' dude

# carnal = buddy, blood brother, not 'lustfulness'
# pinche = damn or fucking, an expletive preceeding any noun
# literally pinche means cook's helper.
# vato = dude
# puto = fairy, faggot
# cabron = lit. male goat = mother fucker
# mas suave, mas lindo que la chingada = cooler, more fucking beutiful
# suave means soft,
# but is slang for cool.
# la movida = the groove
#
# From : ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)
# He's basically begging some guy to get his friend to buy some
# wine. He's saying "Your friend, your friend, you know the groove, you
# know how it is, fucking faggot, c'mon."

Overture To A Holiday In Berlin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# This beautiful music has a very long history. It was written
# in 1960 or 61 by young clean shaved Frank for the film _The World's
# Greatest Sinner_. It also reappeared with sort of senseless words
# on 200 motels album as a song titled Would You Like A Snack
#
# Howard: La La La La
# Mark: Would you like a snack?
#
# Mmmmmmmmmmmm :-)))))))
#
# Also exist ( on the FREAKS & MOTHERFU*#@%! bootleg for example ) another
# version of the lyrics dealing with real sojourn in Berlin
#
# From: ck7...@albnyvms.bitnet (C. Gordon Keeble (gordo))
#
# This probably needs corrections..
#
# Holiday in Berlin
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#
# Look at all the Germans.
# La la la la la la
# Watch them follow orders.
# La la la la la la
# See them think they're doing
# something groovy in the street.
#
# See the student leader.
# La la la la la la
# He's a rebel prophet.
# La la la la la la
# He's fucked up, he's still a
# Nazi like his mom and dad.
#
# Played for a night in Berlin. That afternoon we
# set up our shit and rehearsed.
# Half a dozen phony student rebels in the hall,
# came to see if I could find a way to help them all.
#
# "What is your desire?"
# La la la la la la
# "Help us start a fire."
# La la la la la la
# In the Allied center,
# 'round the corner, down the street.
#
# And then, we began to play.
# A bunch of punks arose from the crowd.
# Student rebels, their flags upraised,
# began to chant "Ho Chi Minh"
# "Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh" Threw tomatoes!
#
# And the next thing knew, we were under seige.
#
#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# The story behind that song is, when the mothers had a concert in Berlin
# 1968 (I think it was their first concert in germany), right on top of the
# student movement, the student wanted him to support their political ideas
# (which were pretty communistic), and he refused. So they throw tomatoes
# and stuff at him ("Don't throw stuff on the stage") and Frank said he'll
# never play in Berlin again. But Fritz Rau, a german concert promoter,
# talked him into come back again. "He said, if you don't like what these
# people were doing, you should come back and tell them"
# ( FZ, quoted from memmory from an interview he gave here in 1988).
# A real nice place to raise your kids up. :-)
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# For the uprising pictures check _Uncle Meat_. movie

Little House I Used To Live In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)
# On _Burnt Weeny Sandwich_ after _Little House I Used To Live In_ Zappa
# announces that they will try to perform _Brown Shoes..._ (if the audience
# keep quiet) but it sound like an empty promise.
# It's not an easy piece to perform live...
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu>
# I have a copy of BSDMI by the 1968 band from a show (in London?). So it was
# probably indeed performed, but I guess Zappa thought Valerie would fit
# nicely with WPLJ to finish off the album.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
# I would have guessed this before too, but..no. Recently I got a tape from
# Bologna in August '73 (in the same period as Piquantique, from BTB 1), in
# which the encore is "Brown Shoes," sung entirely by FZ and George Duke.
# This was quite a surprise.

Valarie
~~~~~~~
WEASELS RIPPED MY FLESH
=======================

Notes and Comments
ver.27-Dec-1994

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from famous :-)
German Songbook
provided by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@july.techno.ru>

# A little bit of apropos :-)
#
# From: sun...@adb.gu.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Does anybody know why the original cover to the album Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh_ was changed. The original picture a metal doll (chrome?) caught in a
# mouse trap. This was sometimes in the 70's changed to the man shaving
# himself with a weasel.
# I was reminded of the original cover when I found two fresh copies of it
# in a second hand shop in Gotherburg for 500 SEK each (that's about $70)
#
# From: mi...@cico.com (Michael Heth)
# From 1984 to about 1988 I was very good friends with John Williams who
# worked for Zappa for about 15 years. John stated to me that the original
# cover as envisioned by him was the image as painted by Neon Parks with only
# the word "Rzzzz" in the sound balloon. The record company execs had a fit
# claiming that they could not put out the album without some identification
# as to the band etc. John "went to the mat" for his concept and was assured
# that it would appear as he intended. Then the execs screwed him by adding
# the other word balloons, "The Mothers of Invention" and "Weasels Ripped My
# Flesh". John went ballistic and seemed to alienate some "big wigs" (nee
# dickheads) at the record company. They proceeded to screw him whenever
# possible, such as the photo credit for "Chunga's Revenge". John took the
# photo of Frank on the cover but they switched the credits so it reads that
# he took the photo on the back (can you tell that Frank is yawning, not
# screaming as it looks at first glance?). Although I remember John saying
# that the WRMF cover was his idea and that he commissioned Neon Park to
# paint it, I may be wrong about that and do not have a way of contacting him
# to confirm my memory.
# Any other "cover art" was put on by the local arm of the record company.
# The original was the Neon Park painting.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# May be other cover art was just for European version? My original Bizarre
# WRMF ( Printed in Holland ) also has on front cover green background metal
# doll in mouse trap.

Did You Get Any Onya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# The title of this tune is used by some folks as a response to someone
# else's particularly nasty-sounding belch, as if they're concerned you
# might've spewed something on yourself in the process: "Didja get any onya?".

ALTO SOLO
...............

MONOLOGUE:

Years ago in Tshermany when I wos a very small boy, zey was a lot of
peoples stending around on ze corners asking quest-shens: "Vy are you
stending on ze corner eck-ting ze way you do, looking ze way you look!
Vy do you look zat way!", they ask me end I vanted to say: I don't know,
I'm just stending here waiting in ze evening, and it's nice outside...
( Rest obscured by pseudo-operatic voices )

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# was then Samir :-)))
# The MONOLOGUE is by Lowell George, guitarist for Zappa at that time
# and later for Little Feat. Frank has said that George had a wonderful
# German accent. Another example may be found on "German Lunch" off
# YCDTOSA-5, CD 1.

NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH
NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH NYAAH

Get A Little
~~~~~~~~~~~~

(COUGHING)

... hot and everybody workin'on her
So I figured I'd
Rip off her
Drawers and
Get a little -

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Sounds like "Get A Little" is about getting a little pussy or some sex.
# "Drawers" = underpants, panties.

The Eric Dolphy Memorial Barbecue
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Michael_...@mindlink.bc.ca (Michael Gushulak)
# Eric Dolphy was a jazz multi-instrumentalist (alto sax, flute, and bass
# clarinet) who recorded in the late '50s and early '60s (he died in 1964 at
# the age of 36). He was noted for being the first to use the bass clarinet
# as a solo instrument, and played with Charles Mingus and Ornette Coleman
# among others. He is listed in the liner notes of "Freak Out!" as one of
# the people who "contributed materially in many ways to make [the Mothers']
# music what it is."
#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)
# Somebody should compile documentation on everybody in the Freak Out list,
# as FZ suggested. This one happens to be my hero, so I thought I'd add to
# Michael's comments by noting that Eric was born and raised in LA, his
# father was a car dealer, and the Dolphys were about the nicest people in
# the world. Frank probably knew of Eric from way back, since Eric had fairly
# regular gigs in LA until 1958 when he joined Chico Hamilton's chamber
# ensemble.
# Zappa's composition named above is a parody of the fact that vast
# quantities of tributes came out after Eric's death.
# Vladimir Simosko wrote the definitive biography/discography, available now
# from Da Capo Press. A Dutch filmmaker named Hans Hylkema made a documentary
# about Eric in 1992. It is now available on Rhapsody 9028. The point of view
# is quite Eurocentric, but it does spend a bit of time at the Dolphy's house
# in LA. A guy named Joe O'Con bought the house after the Dolphys died and
# maintained it as a museum/community center until it was destroyed in the
# riots in 1992. He still runs the Eric Dolphy Memorial Foundation, so the
# concept continues.
# Musically, there isn't a lot of overlap between Zappa and Dolphy. Dolphy
# is noted for the large intervals he used, playing some form of the changes
# typically but the sevenths and thirteenths more than the tonics and
# dominants. He often kept the rhythmic structure simple in order to provide
# a basis from which to take harmonic leaps (although there are wonderful
# examples of his rhythmic complexity). Zappa instead tends toward
# polyrhythmic compositions with little harmonic complexity, often writing
# chromatic or serial structures (of course there are counterexamples here
# too, I'm generalizing). Dolphy was highly trained, unlike Zappa, and was a
# virtuoso on each of his instruments. Like Zappa, though, he was thought of
# as some kind of crazed radical revolutionary, in spite of their obvious
# musicianship. The other tie between them is probably their love of Varese.
# Eric performed Density 22.5 (I forget the actual density at the moment
# actually) many times.
#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)
# ED was a health nut who avoided even alcohol. Diabetes brought about his
# death.
# His music has been a major influence on the likes of Charles Mingus, John
# Coltrane, and countless others. Musicians from the "old school", such as
# swing/bop trumpeter Roy Eldridge, have been amazed by ED's musical ear.
# I doubt FZ ever wished to make fun of ED; FZ has spoken highly of,
# performed music clearly influenced by, and/or played with many musicians of
# the jazz "avant-garde" of the 60's, such as pianist Cecil Taylor, multi-reed
# player Rahsaan Roland Kirk, and saxophonists Archie Shepp and Albert Ayler.
# The melody of "ED Memorial BBQ" suggests that FZ had listened carefully to
# improvisations by ED.
#
# From: jmi...@terra.colostate.edu (Jeff Miller)
# Bzzt. Judging by FZ's style, the Eric Dolphy *Memorial* Barbeque is a
# toast to a great avant garde composer and musician.
#
# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU>
# First of all, Zappa appreciated Dolphy's music (he even included him on
# the list of inspiring people in "Freak Out!"). Secondly, the tune "Eric
# Dolphy Memorial Barbeque" really doesn't have much to do with Dolphy's
# music at all, as far as I can tell, being a fan of both Dolphy and Zappa.
# Although there is a sax solo on the Best Band version which is very
# Dolphyesque. So no, I don't think Zappa was making fun of Dolphy with this
# piece. (Another reason just popped into mind : it's not a very funny
# composition.)
#
# From: km9...@phoebe.albany.edu (MADIGAN KEVIN M)
# One of my favorite Eric Dolphy stories is when he was voted "Sax man of
# the year" or some such by a musician oriented magazine in 60 or 61 or
# thereabouts. His response was something along the lines of "Does this mean
# I'll start getting some decent gigs?" It appears that then ,as now, those
# actually playing things worth hearing didn't get much commercial reward.
#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
# About the Title EDMB:
# The first (or at least one of the first) posthumous Eric Dolphy albums (on
# Prestige) was called: Eric Dolphy's Memorial Album.
#
#CC
# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# Please see the note to "Oh No"

Oh No
~~~~~

# From: stu...@apollo.HP.COM (stuart)
# Here are FZ's words, attached to one of his more memorable melodies,
# written in response to John Lennon & Yoko Ono late 60's deliberately
# innocent approach to the sorry state of word affairs then ( .. and now).
# ( Get your hands on a copy "Weasels Ripped My Flesh" to hear this in
# all its grandeur, with Ray Collins' 'swell vocals'. )

Oh no
I don't believe it
You say that you think you know
The meaning of love
You say love is all we need
You say
With your love you can change
All of the fools
All of the hate
I think you're probably
Out to lunch
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)
# "Out to lunch" is the name of a groundbreaking Eric Dolphy album.
#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)
# "Out To Lunch" = Out Of Your Mind
# IMHO the reference comes from shops, often in rural areas, where the owner
# closes his shop to get lunch, being the only employee. Thus "Out To Lunch"
# == "Out Of Buisness"(temporarilly) So when someone make an inane
# statement, ref. song referred to in song, it is as if the person making
# the statement has put an "Out To Lunch" sign up, "This Person Not
# Working"/"Not Thinking"
# A good American slang dictionary is probably a necessity to grok Zappa's
# lyrics.

And in your dreams
You can see yourself
As a prophet
Saving the world
The words from your lips ...
I just believe you're
Such a fool

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Get your hands on copy of Roxy too. 'Coze you find there another version
# of this song named Son of Orange County. And another person trying to
# fool FZ with the words. This time it seems to be Richard Nixon brought into
# the world ( as suggested my Songbook footnote ) in Orange County CA.
# I'M NOT A CROOK!

Weasels Ripped My Flesh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#:-)))))))
# From: ar...@sun.lclark.edu (Matthew Arndt)
# An argument that the title track from Weasels Ripped My Flesh could be
# considered a song, and therefore a very bad song, is that next to it's
# listing in the CD booklet, it says "(Zappa)", which would indicate that he
# actually WROTE it.
#
# From: da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com (David Thomas)
# It's not just a song that he *wrote*, it's ART. The CD booklet and the
# title and the text next to it that says "(Zappa)" are the picture frame.
# But, if you prefer to think of it as just a song, then consider it a
# stylized vacuum cleaner solo.

Robbert Heederik

unread,

May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part2

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 2 of 6 |

| part 2 of 6 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

CHUNGA'S REVENGE
================

Notes and Comments
ver.24-Jan-1995

Put togehter by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

Lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)

Transylvanian Boogie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Transylvanian Boogie is great. Combines a truly "non-rock" guitar
# improvisation with a really mean guitar sound.
#
Road Ladies
~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Road Ladies: OK, musically this is rather traditional blues.
# The lyrics are amusing the first times, however.
#

Don't it ever get lonesome? {yeah! . . . sure gets lonesome}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on the road?
{oh, there was one time in Minneapolis.. when I thought I
had the clap for sure}
Don't it ever get lonesome? [whoa-ho!] {lonesome ain't the word}
Don't it ever get sad when you go out on a thirty day tour?

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# these quotes {} are Mark Volman...
# the other voice is probably Howard Kaylan and I can't work out
# what he is saying. It may be simply appropriate blues response
# mumbling.

When the P.A. system eats it,
^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# P.A. System is short for Public Address system. Before the days of
# good amps, mixers and monitors, bands used relatively crude set-
# ups for amplification. FZ complains about the P.A. system the
# Mothers used during the '68 European tour in the "Ahead of Their
# Time" CD booklet.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# About the time this album was put out, the trend in arena shows was to
# have an enormous and POWERFUL public address system (P.A. system), most of
# which were rented from sound and light companies. Not all such companies
# were reliable. Powerful amplification was EXTREMELY expensive in those days
# and many of the "fly by night" sound contractors would show up with a huge
# buch of plywood cabinets made to look like working speakers and rack panels
# filled with a few good power amps and a lot of broken stuff with the red
# lights wired up so they would look good.
# Frank was apparently referencing those performances where the rented
# sound equipment sounds like shit ("Eats It" in American slang) and as every
# road musician can attest to; not every performance goes entirely as rehearsed
# (as in:"And the band plays some of the most terrible-est shit you ('ve) ever
# known")
#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>
# The sense is right, but I think that "Eats it" refers to the point
# at which the Public Address system actually breaks down, as in what
# happens to you when you get a bad burrito and some rancid beer and
# Eat It.

#
# From: nat...@coos.dartmouth.edu (Mark A. Natola)

# Well, I grew up in the Boston area, and "Eats it" basicly means IT SUCKS!
# So, if you apply that meaning to the song, FZ is saying the PA system sucks,
# and the band is playing like shit. Just my 2 cents.

Don't you better get a shot from the doctor for what the
Road Ladie do to you

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
# Means: get an injection agains the clap or whatever the Road Ladies give
# you. (This was written before AIDS came up.)
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Referencing, of course, getting an injection of penicillin from the doctor
# to cure the strain of venereal disease you picked up while boffin' groupies
# after the show.
# HEY anybody out there old enough to remember when sex didn't KILL YOU?

Twenty Small Cigars
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is a really great ultra-cool jazz, in the same
# vein as "It must be a camel" from Hot Rats.
# The only problem is that it's too short.
#

The Nancy & Mary Music
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A fun jam, including a vocal drum solo by George Duke.
#

Tell Me You Love Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Nothing very special, but it became a Flo & Eddie Classic.
#

Would You Go All the Way?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# A funny Flo & Eddie Song

Remember Freddie and Joe
The night you went to the show. (a monster movie)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# There are a few lines from FZ intro to Roxy _Cheepnis_
#
# Cheepnis... lemme tell you something: do you like monster movies, anybody?
# (YEEAAH!) I love monster monster movies. I simply adore monster movies. And
# the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheapness, in case of monster
# movie, has nothing to do with the budget of the film -- althought it helps
# -- but true cheapness is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to
# the jaw of the giant spider...

The monster came out; everybody shout.
People all around you, screamin at the monster --
the monster from the USO.
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# United Service Organization. This is a partially federal, partially
# voluntary organization whose job it is to boost the morale of troops in the
# United States armed forces. The USO typically puts on shows (Bob Hope
# used to do one a year), maintains coffeehouses, puts on dances, provides
# counseling, etc. The song is a reference to the suspicion that female
# volunteers for the USO occasionally perform morale-boosting services of a
# more personal nature.
#
# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>
# United Service Organisation...I think they're the ones
# who provide "entertainment" for American troops...
# So - the monster is in the movie provided by this
# recreation-for-government-authorised-killers organisation.

Chunga's Revenge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Improvisation over a rather simple riff, but the
# wha-wha sax of Ian Underwood is really good.

The Clap
~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Offers some percussive relief after the hot title track,
# and FZ at the drums.

Rudy Wants to Buy Yez a Drink
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# This is really funny, including an
# Elvis inpersination and trombone by George Duke.

Hi and howdy doody.
I'm a union man; you can call me Rudy.
Any you boys not paid up on your cards? [huh?]
^^^^^

# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)

# ... I think, as in, "Have you been paying your union dues?"
# (you get this AFM -- American Federation of Musicians -- card in the US).

to check and see
no wrong been done
that's one good reason
I carry a gun.

I hope the bulge
^^^^

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# I envision Rudy as wearing a dark suit concealing a pistol in a
# shoulder holster.
#
# From: val...@soliton.physics.arizona.edu (Peter Valerio)
# Sounds to me like Frank is taking a common, everyday experience like
# concealing firearms and trying to make our inner children giggle and
# think about our (and in the case of the women, their) willies.
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# as in the bulge a gun makes in a wise guy's jacket. Plus it's kind of a play
# on the bulge that most rock stars are more concerned about.
#

Sharleena
~~~~~~~~~
# From: sun...@cs.chalmers.se (Ulf Sundin)
# Never really cared for this one, in any of the any released versions.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>#
# Why did he keep recording it? I guess he found songs like that fun
# to listen to as well as play, and Sharleena is certainly a good
# vehicle for highlighting Flo & Eddie's talents and is a logical
# extension of the Ruben & Jets/Valarie greasy teen age love
# song themes. He honestly LOVED stuff like that. For instance
# when I saw the Mothers in 1971, the final encore was a very
# slow, very straight version of the Shep & the Limelighters doo-wop
# classic "Daddy's Home".
# Back to the topic, I find the version of Sharleena on Playground
# Psychotics to be lots of fun to sing along with in the car.
# That "Sharleena-leena doodledooledoodledoodledoodledoo" stuff makes
# me want to sing every time.

FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
========================

Notes & Comments
ver.25-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics from _Plastic People_ songbook
were retyped for your pleasure by
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

# Just Fillmore Rap To Start With
#
# From: pve...@vmark.com (Philippe Vezina)
# Yes, John and Yoko did appear with Frank and the Mothers at the same show
# that the Fillmore 71 album was recorded.They performed a song called
# 'Scumbag' which was basically all three of them screaming SCUMBAG at the
# top of their lungs.
# The John and Yoko album "Sometime in New York City" which came out in 1972,
# is a 2 record set. The first album is studio cuts and the second album is
# live. If you can grab an original or fairly old copy like mine, you will see
# when you pull out the sleeve for album number 2, that it is the ZAPPA
# Fillmore 71 album cover. The sleeve is an exact replica of the Zappa album
# cover, except John Lennon scribbled all over it and wrote down other stuff
# instead of what Frank had wrote "obviously John wrote the correct songs
# from that album". Also if you open up the album jacket, you'll see a nice
# picture of Zappa (with guitar) and John and Yoko onstage at that Fillmore
# show.
#
# From: j...@cbnewsb.cb.att.com (jeffrey.j.rocca)
# Yes, John and Yoko jammed with the Mothers at the Fillmore East. But it is
# not captured on the _Fillmore East, June 1971_ album. Two different mixes
# of the jam can be heard, one on John and Yoko's _Sometime in New York City_,
# the other on Zappa'a _Playground Psychotics_.
#

The Mud Shark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mud Sh-sh-shark

THE MUD SHARK DANCING LESSON!

My mind drifts back to a meeting, a chance meeting
in the Chicago O'Hare Airport
where the members of the Vanilla Fudge
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
told Don Preston about a home movie they made

# From:
# realname=Tim Bogert/Vanilla Fudge band member
# emailaddress=ejsc...@adnetsol.com
# message=The Mudshark Dance:
# Regarding the Fish Dance, it was originally done on her back. I remember
# she was laying down because she was sucking on Clive while I was kneeling
# next to him.

at the Edgewater Inn with a Mud Shark. I'm gonna tell you, this dance, the
Mud Shark, is sweeping the ocean!...

#
# From: ssh...@alesis1.usa.com
# I don't know if there is a dance or not, but the mud shark
# is about a band ( i think vanilla fudge, really) who caught
# a fish at the edgewater inn in seatlle, and procedded to
# plook some groupie with it. i think this is described in
# the real fz book. the story was told to a member other than
# frank, but supposedly the groupie person enjoyed it
# vigorously, identified with it strenuously, got up, dressed
# herself, and then thanked the band persons very much for
# doing this to her, and left.
# The interview with the guy at the edgewater, on playground
# psychotics, obviously took place after frank heard the
# story. frank seems to be hinting at what a person could do
# with a fish that they had caught the whole time. i also
# remember flo and eddie referring to the "Dance that would be
# sweeping the nation" (and the nation needs a good sweeping).
#
#
# From: ca...@brahms.udel.edu (Catherine M Leonard)
# I have a recording of Frank describing the Mudshark Dance to the audience.
# You open your legs, clasp your hands together & s q u a t ! To do it in
# 4/4 time, step left, step right, squat, rest. All the time you should have
# your hands together down by the knees. I'll have to check for the date, etc.
#
# From: rich.g...@suzys.altcit.eskimo.com (Rich Gregory)
# I have a bootleg where FZ coaches the audience on how to
# do this dance. He's got 'em all lined up standing, no, squatting in their
# seats w/ their hands between their legs. One hand between the legs to the
# person behind you, the other hand to the person in front of you (who's hand
# is between his leg back to you). The idea is to sort of duck walk & in
# unison with the music SQUAT at the appropriate time with everyone else.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# Now that you mention it, I do remember Phlo & Eddie and several other
# bandmembers attempting this maneuver while Frank narrated from the side.
# It was a nice break from Nixon, Vietnam and Kent State. It was just plain
# idiotic looking! I REALLY wish I had a video tape of that show! Zappa
# showed us all that you could still have fun while surrounded by a world full
# of "plastic people".
#
#CC
# From: ra...@ark.btbg.sub.de (Ralf W. Stephan)
# Well, Frank says on 'Bebop Tango'(Roxy) that the BT will 'sweep/t(?)
# the ocean, right after the Mudshark did'.
#

# From: cant...@ssd.intel.com (Jay Cantrell)

# Also, on PlaygroundPsychotics, Frank interviews the desk
# manager at the Mudshark Hotel....Well, since my baby left me,
# I've found a new place to dwell, It makes a sort of Puget Sound...

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# On an (almost) related subject, the Vanilla Fudge (of Edgewater Inn fame)
# had an album called 'Rock and Roll' released sometime around 1968. One of
# the tracks on the album is called 'The spell that comes after'. The
# writer of this song is cited as 'Calvin Schenkel'. Bearing in mind the
# Mudshark episode, I wonder if it is the same Cal Schenkel? It's not a
# very common name....

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# As I posted on affz a couple of weeks ago, Playground Psychotics contains
# an interview by Frank of the manager of the Edgewater Inn. I consider this
# little cut to be essential to CC. The manager denies ever seeing any
# visual evidence of sexual activity with any of the fish that people catch
# from their balconies, though there's plenty of evidence that they catch the
# fish and just leave them to rot in the bathtub or on the floor. He also
# points out that a mudshark has sandy skin, which would make for an
# unpleasant encounter.
#
#BTW:-)))
# From: "L. Hirsch" <lve...@u.washington.edu>
# I just thought I'd post a bit about the Edgewater in case anyone's
# interested. If you come to Seattle, you just might want to stay there
# for the sole novelty of the whole mudshark experience. BUT, you should
# all be aware that it's a pretty cheezy hotel. It was recently renovated,
# so it looks a little prettier, but it's still pretty close to a Holiday
# Inn experience. Might I suggest going to the top of some building in town
# .. preferably not the Space Needle ($6.50 a pop) .. to simply look at the
# giant "E" that sits atop the inn.
# Apparently it actually used to be a nice hotel. My grandparents were
# very fond of staying there in the 60's. The Beatles stayed there during
# their first Seattle visit. As far as I know, you can still fish from
# your window.
# Not too exciting .. but there ya go. Enjoy!

What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay: well I get off bein' juked
^^^^^^^
With a baby octopus
An spewed upon with cream corn! AAH... UNH!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# I suspect something should be added to definition from my
# Dict. of American slang
# juke - v.i. To tour outside bars, usu. with one of the opposite sex;
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# juked - banged, porked, "penetrated"
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes--it means to penetrate carnally (at least the way I've heard it used).
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# To get off (American slang) - to enjoy, to orgasm, to begin to feel
# the effect of certain drugs. Juked is not common slang, but may be
# derivative of Jukebox, a coin operated machine that plays music.

An' my girlfriend, she digs it
With a hot YOOHOO bottle
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yoo-Hoo is an american (very american) soft drink. Non-carbonated and
# chocolate-flavored. It has a very high chemical content, but it's quite
# tasty. I haven't had one in years.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# YOOHOO is a dairy based chocolate beverage popular in New York

While somebody's screamin':
CORKS 'N' SAFETIES
PIGS 'N' DONKEYS

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I thought it was Cords 'n' Safeties, potentially referring to Bondage Gear
# Remember: The "groupie routine" was performed every night and it was
# always different. Stage #1 has a variant of it, as do many other Bootlegs.
# The routine incorporated many random elements and evolved over time. On
# Stage 1 it was just Cords 'n' Safeties over and over again.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Pigs and donkeys are supposedly favored animals for bestial acts.

You two chicks sound real far aout and groovy
Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
Mna-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa...
Magic Fingers in the Bed (Picture it!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Anyone who's spent a lot of time in cheezy motels (the Mothers
# sure did!) will recognize all three of the items:
# -"Magic Fingers" is a type of coin-operated bed-vibrator. You put 25
# cents in the meter and the bedsprings & mattress vibrate for a
# set amount of time. I tried it once but it made me nauseous. FZ goes
# into more detail in the song "MAGIC FINGERS" from 200 MOTELS:
# "...Open up your pocketbook
# Pull another quarter out
# Drop it in the meter..."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This was supposed to be some sort of Massage, thus the name. This relates
# directly to the song "Magic Fingers" from 200 Motels (maybe Chunga's). Live
# version on Stage 5 or 6.

Wall-mounted TV screen:
Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "COFFEE-HOST" is a primitive do-it-yourself coffee maker. It
# consists of a heating coil and a carafe that looks like it hasn't
# been washed out since it was installed. It often came with a
# couple of packets of instant coffee. You plug it in,boil your water,
# pour in the coffe crystals and VOILA! a perfectly VILE brew.
# Generally, the best place to plug it in was the bathroom since at
# least there was a counter close to the electrical outlet. I'm
# convinced that COFFEE HOST was responsible for all those burn marks
# on the FORMICA counters in the bathrooms.

Formica's really keen!
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# "FORMICA" is a durable laminated plastic substance generally used
# in countertops and some cheezy furniture. It comes in thousands of
# colors and designs. A similar version of it was known as "ARBORITE".
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# I'll assume the first is some sort of coffee maker; Formica is the
# stuff that kitchen and bathroom countertops are made out of. It
# frequently looks something like bad marble, or is of a color found
# naturally nowhere on Earth
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Formica is a tradename for a cheap melamine laminate used in
# countertops.

Funny you should mention it:
Our new single just made the charts this week
With a bullet! With a bullet!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# A song that was rocketing to the top of the Billboard charts
# was highlited by a "bullett" in the margin of the chart. I bet
# HAPPY TOGETHER had a bullet.
#

# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# Billboard used to put a bullet next to a charted record that had moved up
# some measurable amount from its position on the previous week's chart. (Some
# phallic significance just might be intended here.)
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# In Billboard's ,Top 40 list, songs that are climbing the charts rapidly
# are marked with a bullet, which is really just a large dot. This indicates
# that you're *really* hot shit.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Rolling Stone magazine lists a chart of the top 40 or so songs in sales.
# They put a black dot, called a bullet, next to songs rapidly rising in
# popularity.

Bwana Dik
~~~~~~~~~

I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyound your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..
^^^^^^^^^

# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Over-the-counter pimple medicine (or zit cream). I used it when I was
# a pimply teen even though it seemed useless.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Clearasil is a brand of acne (pimple) medication cream. Poetic metaphor
# for the teenage groupie.

Girls from all over the world
Love to write my name on the toilet walls
At the Whisky a Go Go
For I am Bwana Dik
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# I think I read somewhere (interview? Real FZ BOOK?) that BWANA DIK
# was the title bestowed on the member (no pun intended) of the band or
# crew who had the best success with groupies. It literally means
# something like "BOSS DICK".
#
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Yes, "Bwana" is a word used by b-movie natives when talking to the "boss
# white man" or the "BIG man." Bwana has come to mean anything big.
# Hence, we are talking about an exceptionally well-endowed man.

#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>

# Check out "The real Frank Zappa Book" for Franks explanation of "Bwana Dik"
# (In that chapter where he explains it to the court, I think.)
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# In 200 motels movie Howie Kaylan also boasted about being real Bwana
# Dik monster. And Aynsley "Binoculars" Dunbar too.

Latex Solar Beef
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Acetylene Nirvana
Hemorrhoids
Talkin' 'bout your hemorrhoids, Baby

# Is it usual surrealist stuff or is there some sense behind it?

Iridescent naugahyde python gleaming
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# Naugahyde is the fabric equivalent of Formica. It's a sort of vinyl,
# fake-leather fabric. It's what we call "wipe-clean" and, like
# Formica, comes in many colours, many of which do not appear in
# nature.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Fake leather. It is to leather what Formica is to marble.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Suede-like polyester fabric often associated with bean-bag seats.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Naugahyde is a tradename for a soft plastic used in furnature. There
# used to be absurd commercials on the TV about the mythical Naugabeast
# the plastic came from.
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# _Absolutely Free_
# Brown Shoes Don't Make It
#
# Every desire is hidden away, in a drawer, in a desk, by a
# Naugahyde chair on a rug where they they walk and drool
#
# _Joe's Garage_
# Stick It Out
#
# Sy Borg: Touch the chrome. Feel the chrome
# See the screeming. Hot black steaming
# Iridescent naugahyde python screaming
# Steam Roller!

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The bit about Heal the Chrome is a knock off of Tommy that is only on the
# Joes Garage version.

Steam roller

All groupies must bow down
In the sacred presence of
The Latex Solar Beef
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: jma...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (John Michael Martz)
# Well, I'm not sure if these terms have some type of meaning together
# (such as a brand name), but latex is a synthetic rubber material (if I
# remember correctly).

#
# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)

# Latex is the french word for condom, after the particular type of rubber
# it's been made of. There's a french comic advocating safe sex called 'Les
# aventures du latex'. So, imagine a 'Condomed Solar Beef'...

Do you Like My New Car?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-"Come across.."
- All that's true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Doctor Brown's Cream Soda...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
or a CEL-RAY!... but! we are *not* groupies! No matter what you think...
^^^^^^^
# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# Dr. Brown's is yet another brand name. The Company is still around,
# and still makes Cel-Ray soda (it's not _that_ bad). Soda trivia (my
# source is long since forgotten): When soda first started being
# flavored, they were all vegetable-flavored. The drug-laced artificial
# flavors didnt' come until later. Cel-Ray is out last link to a past
# where vegetable-flavored sodas really were all the rage.
# I think the point in the song is that he's SO deviant that not only
# does he like it with mainstream Cream Soda, but he even digs
# Cel-Ray. Yum.
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# Dr. Brown's Cream soda - I assume the bottle has a shape to her liking
# Celery, you know, long vegetable...
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# Carbonated soft drinks that used to be found only in the New York area.
# Now imagine a soda with the taste of celery (sort of), and you've got the
# basic concept of Cel-ray.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Dr. Brown's is a carbonated beverage line which originated in NY at the turn
# of the century and, like the french phonetic corruption of a short cloth neck
# ornament, is currently in resurgence. Creme Soda and Cel-ray are two of the
# most popular flavors. I recommend them.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)#

# Not really that exciting at all. Dr. Browns makes soda's (soft drinks).
# Cream is one of the most popular (Basically Vanilla). Root Beer and Black
# Cherry. They also have (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) Celery flavored soda,
# brand named Cel-Ray. It tastes just like what you would expect celery
# soday to taste like.
#
# From: re...@watson.ibm.com (Diane Reese)
# Cel-Ray is indeed celery-flavored soda; it's made with celery seed,
# however, and has that edge to its taste. I personally think there is
# almost nothing as thirst-quenching as a heavily iced glass of Cel-Ray on
# a hot afternoon. It's still available; it's the most, um, "esoteric" of
# the Dr. Brown's line.

-"You see, there seems to be some kind of a communication problem, honey...
because I... I am a lonely guy from outta town, y'know an'... an'
I want some ACTION... what I'm talkin' about is, I wanna... a-a-steaming...
succulent... ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a...
with... how shall I put this... what say we hop in the trunk of your
Gremlin AN' GET OUR ROCKS OFF..."
^^^^^^^^
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# I think it's just a joke because it was such a cruddy little AMC vehicle
# with a very small hatch in the back. Probably just a funny thought that
# anyone would try to make it in such a confined (not to mention unromantic)
# space.
#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
# There's absolutely NOTHING exciting about having a Gremlin, which I
# guess is the point. It's a cheap pseudo-sporty AMC car that I
# think came with a hatchback. It's just the kind of thing a
# suburban groupie wanna-be would have her father buy for her (along
# with a COLOR-NOTE ORGAN, ha ha) .
#
# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# The Gremlin is a rather silly-looking car from the early 70's... Little
# box, usually came in green or some other loud color.
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# It was a real cheap, cheesy American Motors product. It had no trunk.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The AMC Gremlin was a very funny looking car. You RARELY see them on the
# road anymore. Europeans probably wouldn't find them funny, as it looks
# kind of like a pregnant Citroen. Nothing exciting at all, they were very
# mundane cars in the 70's although perhaps they were semi-chic in 71.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Gremlin was an unfortunate name for an auto. A gremlin is a evil
# spirit or sprite that makes mechanical things break down. It was an
# early hatch back design, making it possible to literally jump in
# the trunk.

- Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a man...
picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo canes!
three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in
the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with
^^^^^^^^^
pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until

# From: Martin Piazzola <piaz...@scf.usc.edu>
# enchilada - "inch - ill - la - da" like a burrito but usually covered in
# sauce.
#
# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)
# Tortilla with goodies wrapped inside. Try one with a Creme Soda.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# That's "One enchilada" - it goes with "3 unreleased recordings.."
# Yes, it's mexican food. Something encased in a corn torilla and usually
# baked and covered in some kind of sauce.
#
# From: r...@cx1gpx.lord.com (Robin F. Righettini)
# Yes en-chill-ah-da is a phallic cylinder wrapped in a tortilla,
# and covered in cheese and sauce. A good one is pretty tasty and filling.

(all sing "Happy Together")

# From: e...@cs.brown.edu (Ethan Malasky)
# As far as I know this was truly a hit single. Unless memory fails, The
# Turtles are the one-hit wonder associated with this song. (oh no. Now
# I've offended all the die-hard Turtles Fans out there. Both of them.)
#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)
# `They must be the writers of the tune. It most certainly hit the charts
# with a bullet. From the "Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock":
#
# The Turtles:
# ...
# The Turtles weren't content, however, and were about to break up; but first
# they released "Happy Together", which proved to be their biggest hit,
# and one of 1967's Top Ten records."
#
# The entry also notes that Jim Pons was in the Turtles, and followed
# Volman & Kaylan to the Mothers and later to Flo & Eddie.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Not sure who the songwriters were, but it was a BIG hit. It was made
# famous by the Turtles, aka Howard Kaylan and Mark Volman who joined Frank's
# band to do more outrageous things. The only reason they sing this song is
# out of self-mockery.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# This song ( in accordance with vin...@ee.tut.fi< Vinksu Chandrasekhar>)
# is officially credited to Bonner/Gordon .

_________________________________________________________________

200 MOTELS
==========

Notes & Comments
ver.26-March-96

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics was originaly transcribed by
gordo <CK7...@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>

corrected and reorganized with the help of
_Plastic People. Corrected Version_
songbook by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

special thanks to
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
"David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>

M - Mark Vollmam,
H - Howard Kaylan,
Jm - Jimmy Carl Black
Jf - Martin Lickert
T - Theodor Bikel
Ch - Chorus
Sp - Female Soprano
Tr - Male Tenore
GC - Good Concience
BC - Bad Concience
Evr - Everybody :-)

Semi-fraudulent/Direct-from-Hollywood Overture
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T: Ladies and gentlemen!
Ch: 200 motels
T: 200 motels.. Life on the road.

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# It seems that an explanation of Mr. Rance Muhammitz heavy german accent
# can be found on various bootleg tracks of Flo'n'Eddie era. Here goes the
# prince of boots... The Swiss Cheese :-)

#
# From: Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
#

# And addressed them formaly
# With the little song in Deutsch
# Because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
#
# Take it away God
#
# Gib zu mir
# Etwas Fußbodenbelag
# Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
#
# So if we remember that Rance Muhammitz is just one of the Devil's many names
# we must admit that accordingly to FZ model of Heaven and Hell the mother
# tongue of the angels should be deutsch! Ich bin Maroon !!!!!!!

Mystery Roach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: How long? How long?
Till that MYSTERY ROACH be arrivin' soon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo

# The Concise Oxford Dictionary
#
# roach 1. n. small freshwater fish allied to carp
# 2. n. coackroach
# 3. (sl.) marijuanna cigarette-butt
# So the question arised. Who is approachin' soon? The freshwater mudshark?
# Or stinky dope butt for Jeff Simmons? Or are there any kind of little
# home pets ( see 2 ) in USA motels?

Mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery,
mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery, roach!

Tuna Fish Promenade
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ch: All the people in the Sandwich Town
think the place is great.
What if part of it's crumbling down?
Most of them prob'ly won't be 'round ...

H: They'll either be dead..
M: or moved to San Francisco.

H: ( Where everybody thinks they're Heavy Business.
But it's just a Tuna Sandwich from another catering service. )

# from _The Real FZ Book_
# "San Francisco in the mid-sixties was very chauvinistic, and ethnocentric.
# To the Friscoids' way of thinking, everything that came from THEIR town
# was REALLY IMPORTANT ART, and anything from anyplace else ( espesially L.A.)
# was dogshit. Rolling Stone magazine helped to promote this fiction,
# nationwide."
# p.68

The Sealed Tuna Bolero
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H:
from a matron in La Habre
^^^^^^^^
# From: "Charles H. Ulrich" <CUL...@POMONA.CLAREMONT.EDU>
# La Habra, a city in Orange Country, California, just north of Fullerton.

with a blown-out crack who dies to suck the fringe off Jimmy Carl Black.
^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# 'Crack' in this case refers to 'Vagina'

Lonesome Cowboy Burt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT.
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jm: Come on in this place
an' I'll buy you a taste.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# I will buy you a drink

You can sit on my face.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# I will perform cunnilingus on you

Where's my waitress?
OPAL, YOU HOT LITTLE BITCH!
^^^^^
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# That not very common in english spoken world girl's name is appeared to be
# directly from Frank Lancaster boyhood.
#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk (Martyn Dryden)
# Transcribed from BBC Television tribute movie interview, Dec 18, 1993
# FZ:
# I hadn't been raised in an environment where there was a lot of music
# in the house. This couple that owned the chili place, Opal and
# Chester, agreed to ask the man who serviced the jukebox to put in
# some of the song titles that I liked, because I promised that I would
# dutifully keep pumping quarters into this thing so I could listen to
# them. So I had the ability to eat good chili and listen to Three
# Hours Past Midnight by Johnny Guitar Watson, for most of my junior and
# senior years.
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# Actually, the true derivation of the name Opal is the fact that it is still
# quite common for rednecks and other rustic country folk to name their
# daughters after gemstones and other objects of value. A social
# anthropologist might make the argument that, at least in the beginning,
# many of these people started out being so poor that a "grand name" was the
# only grand thing they could give to their female children.
# The name Opal is a right and proper name when one wishes to put a
# "down-home country aroma" on something. Other names which have equal spin
# are: Pearl, Crystal, Ruby, Viola.
#
#CC
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su:-)))))
# It's interesting to note that in the movie, Devil aka Rance Muhammitz
# also don't mind to be called Opal Hot Little Bitch. He appeared behind
# Lonesome Cowboy of the group Jimmy Carl Black right after his final Opal cry,
# and tryed to sale Mr.Black bottle of beer for his eternal soul. Not long
# ago he offered very similar deal - cheesburger for soul to Mr.Jeff Simmons.
# No one agreed. It seems that poor bastard played low. The real market price
# of 20 century soul was correctly estimated later ( see _Titties and Beer_
# from FZ in New York )

Would You Like a Snack?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: Went on the road
for a month touring.

#CC
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su:-)
# Of course it's BWS's Holiday in Berlin with rascal vocal of two clowns.
# See also BWS N&C.

Shove It Right In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: She chooses all the clothes
she'll wear tonight to dance in.
(She dances, she prances, she dances, she prances)
The places that she goes
are filled with guys from groups,
yeah-yeah-yeah
Waiting for a chance to break her pants in.

PROVOCATIVE SQUATS!
Gum me on m'lunga
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# The line is from corrected by FZ copy of Plastic People Songbook, so no
# reason to talk about thickness of an earwax :-)))
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# I always heard this line as "Will help me up the ladder"--i.e., achieve
# higher groupie status. But if it's this way in the printed lyrics, then I
# dunno. Maybe it's from the same language as "Krega Bondolo"???

Dental Hygeine Dilemma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jf: Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared
^^^^^^^
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# Donovan Leitch, of "Atlantis" fame. His daughter, Iona Skye Leitch (who
# I believe now goes by just "Iona Skye") is a fairly well-known movie actor
# in the US. She was in "The River's Edge" a few years back.
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# He was a peace and love version of Bob Dylan. Major hits in 67-68, appeared
# at the Bath festival in 1970 and bored everybody shitless.
#
#CC
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
# "Remember Donovona, the guy with the brocate coat? He used to sing to you
# about atlantis.."
# (From: "The Blue Light", "Tinseltown Repellion")

Jf: In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music.
_He_ eats!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# HE SUCKS! ( See Chunga's Revenge N&C _Road Ladies_ )

Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# The founder of Atlantic Records and a big wheel in the music business
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# One of the Ertegun brothers, who founded Atlantic Records, which put
# out some great jazz and R&B in the '50s & '60s. The other brother's name
# is Nesushi . I believe they are of Arab descent. Ahmet Zappa was named
# for Ahmet Ertegun.

motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any
commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United
States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What
an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this
elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's
^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# In the movie this infamous liqiud is a content of a bottle labeled
#
# -----------------------
# | SHMERTZ |
# | |
# | Golden Rot Gut |
# | BEER |
# -----------------------
#

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# I think it was a corruption of German/Yiddish "Schmerz," which means ache
# or pain.
#
# once again From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su :-)
# May be I am wrong but in Russian Shmert' is Death. The Russian comes to my
# mind just because of three cyrillic characthers on the front of unforgetable
# Rance cap .
# O|O A K is a Russian spelling of the word FUCK.

M&H: What can I say about this elixir?

M: Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# In the movie Flo'n'Eddie part of _Dental Hygeine Dilemma_ existed
# as separate piece. And can be heard ( while multicoloured Jeff very
# unnaturly simulating drug induced madness ) right before Teodor Bikel
# final _Strictly Genteel_ benediction :-).
#

BC: He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense.
Oh, Atlantis.
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# This was the title of an album by Donovan, referred to above. I think
# Donovan is used throughout the album to define a plastic, definitely
# non-hip musician type. There is no doubt that he started out well, but
# became the sort of 'pop' star so often produecd in Britian who mimics
# American styles, not too well, and with little substance. Cliff Richard is
# another example of this. You can always tell, they sing with American accents
# even if they've never been further West than Uxbridge.

M: That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got

M: Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# The mysterious creatures from _Just Another Band From L.A._. The last one
# some folks say ( despite being dressed like Jim Pons ) looks like Zubin
# Mehta :-)))
# BTW, many people think that the last is not Hoch
# From: Bruce Lowenthal (lowenth...@tandem.com)
# A "Studebaker Hawk" is a type of car that went out of production around
# 1960. Studebaker was one of the oldest US companies and manufactured
# Conastoga wagons which were used to cross the plains in the mid 1800's.
# While Studebaker made what many thought were "funky" cars the Hawk seemed
# pretty "snazzy" and perhaps FZ. In any case it is pretty clear that
# "Studebaker Hawk" was named after the car.
#
# OK, but it still wasn't named , it's a pun, because in mentioned above
# corrected by FZ Plastic People Songbook _Studbaker Hawk_ of the original
# transcribing rewrited by Frank own hand on _Studebacher Hoch_.
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# Yes, but it's BOTH a pun and the name of a car. This same bird-pun idea
# was used later in Act III of Joe's Garage for the song "Packard Goose". A
# "Packard" was another defunct automobile of an earlier age.

Does This Kind of Life Look Interesting to You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BC: Does this kind of life look interesting to you? Night after night, dinners
with Herb Cohen. Thrill-packed, fun-filled evenings on the French Riviera
at the MIDEM convention.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# I don't know what it stands for but I believe it's kinda pop music festival
# for guys like Herb Cohen to sell some Hot Meats, Hot Zits and Hot Ritz.
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# Exactly. It is the music business equivalent of the Cannes film festival.

A big tie, the whole bit. Watch Mutt eat, and Leon
^^^^ ^^^^^
# From: gordo <CK7...@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>
# On pages 67-8 of _The Real Frank Zappa Book_, I just noticed this:
#
# "Eventually they became joint managers of our band, with a contract
# negotiated 'on behalf of the group' by Herb's brother, an attorney named
# Martin (Mutt) Cohen."
# So maybe it is "Mutt" and maybe that has something to do with it.

# Who's Leon????

can't collect unemployment. A dog, a car, an epidemic of body lice with
your own record company, your name on the door, electric buzzer to the
inner office, and Ona tits, and a three month supply of German bookings
^^^
# From: moam...@primenet.com (Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo)
# Ona was one of Frank's secretaries, and answered the phones they set up for
# UNITED MUTATIONS (which was essentially The Mothers' fan club). I used to
# talk to her on occasion in 1971, before Zappa decided to close up United
# Mutations. She was very friendly, but that's all I remember about her.
# YES, the song's reference is to ONA'S TITS! (whom I unfortunately never had
# the pleasure of meeting...)

feed the geese. One thousand green business cards, with your name and the
wrong address. Plus six royalty statements, inspected and customized by
ran toon tan han toon frammet and Dee.
^^^
# From: moam...@primenet.com (Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo)
# Dee is Herb Cohen's wife.
#
#CC
# This straight member of the executive board :-) was also mentioned later
# ( and with her husband on _Bongo Fury_ Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy
#
# It might seems strange for Herb and Dee
# Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy

with tickets on Air Rangoon.

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?
Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?

She left her place after midnight,
she drove to the club.
You know that her and her partner,
came here lookin' for love.
They want a guy from a group
That's got a thing in a charts
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
They will give him their hearts.

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# The Easy Teenage New York version of this Hard Centerville stuff can be
# found on Fillmore East, June 1971 album ( see _Bwana Dik_ and _Do You Like
# My New Car_ )

FAM-BAM-YAK-A-TA-TAHHH!

Penis Dimension
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M: Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're
at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even wearing
any underwear your being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,
and looks you up and down and he says uh,

H: "Eight inches or less?"

M: Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn
around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got
to tell him these words:

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# In the movie this did not seque into philosophical _What Will This Evenig..._.
# Instead of this very mundane face of Ringo Starr aka Larry The Dwarf
# appeared on the screen to inform us all ( sorry for earwax :-)
# I stuff three pairs of socks and a bottle down in front of
# my pants

What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

M&H: WHAT WILL THIS EVENING
BRING ME THIS MORNING?

A succulent fat one!
A mod little flat one,
maybe a hot one (to give me the clap!)
^^^^^
maybe a freak who gets off with a strap.

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# On Chunga's Revenge this hot one was from Minneapolis ( see Road Ladies ),
# on Joe's Garage roman catholic pussy christened Carmenita Scarfone
# ( Catholic Girls ) :-)))))))))))
#
# From: Bruce Lowenthal (lowenth...@tandem.com)
# No, No [it's not just VD]. There's a danger of missing some CCC with this
# error. Since the mid 16th century, the clap has been specific in English to
# gonorrhoea (the final o is missing in standard US spelling), the disease
# caused by the bacterium _Neisseria gonorrhoeae_. The clap is not to be
# confused with syphilis (the pox, the French pox, the Spanish pox etc).
# Conceptual continuity comes in a number of levels with the clap. First
# there's the delightful percussion piece (remember FZ started with drums)
# on Chunga's Revenge. Second, note that _N gonorrhoeae_ is a spherical
# bacterium, ie a coccus shape, hence called the gonococcus. And its
# symptoms include a burning sensation on urinating. It can also spread and
# infect the testes: ie 'Why does it hurt when I pee' on Joe's Garage
# referring to the 'gono-co-co coccus' that makes 'my balls feel like a
# pair of maracas'. Third, since World War I there has been a triad of
# 'crabs, cooties and the clap' (US and others soldiers did the vectoring
# around the world) which obviously continued in the groupie world that FZ
# got into in the late '60s. One of his biog's reports (from Pamela Z, I
# think) that FZ caught crabs (ie pubic lice). Who knows about the other
# two, but there are several references to cooties (body lice in general)
# in addition to the clap.

A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sp: Why don't you strap on this here bunch of cardboard boxes daddy-o?

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# In the movie there was really cardboard boxes with nun suit painted on
# them. And Ruth Underwood really lured Motorhead ( The Penis Replica Vacuum
# Cleaner operator :-( to strap on.
# But the real question - can anyone explain the idea behind this nun
# paraphernalia in the movie. What did all this Keith Moon provocative squats
# mean?

Sp: Pink gums. Stumpy gray teeth.
Ch: Dental floss.
Sp: Gets me hot. Want to watch a dental hygiene movie?

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Later after this well done dental hygien propoganda stuff :-). Frank
# decided to make money on this ignited by his music desire to chew forever:-)
# See Over_Nite Sensation's Dental Floss tycoon song _Montana_ :-)))))

Magic Fingers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

H: HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

Well, there are a lot of reasons why I'd drag a girl such as yourself
back to this plastic hotel room ... and rip you off for spare change
to run a ...to run a vibrating machine attached to this queen-size,
bulk-purchase, kapok-infested, do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law
type bed and, and make you take off all your little clothes ... until
you are nearly stark raving nude. ( save for your chrome-with-heavy-
duty-leather-thong Peace Medallion) and make you assume a series of
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# Yes, very common indeed [ for Vietnam era]. As illustrated on the steel
# helmet in the 'Apocalypse Now' movie posters. However it predated Vietnam,
# originally being the symbol used by the British Campaign for Nuclear
# Disarmament.

marginally erotic poses involving a plastic chair and an old guitar
strap while I did a wee-wee in your hair ... and beat you with a pair
^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# It means that he intends to urinate on her head. The term is both a noun
# and a verb, and as a noun means both urine and the organ which delivers
# it :-)

# From: ck7...@albnyvms.bitnet (C. Gordon Keeble (gordo))

# "did a wee-wee" Childrens phrase for urinated. Wee-wee is sometimes used
# as a synonym for dick too.

Dew on the Newts We Got
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ch: Dew on the newts we got. Newt money dew.
It's a payment on the rental for the dewy little newts we got.
We got 'em dewy. Left 'em in the yard all night,
though they didn't get uptight.
The little vixens, the saucy little vixens,
^^^^^ ^^^^^^
I hope they didn't get pissed off.
I know that they did not, did not,
I know that they did not dash off into the night.

# It seems that in BTHW _What Kind of Girl_ this word is a synonym of
# a whore
# This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
# Spoo over her lap
# Is it so here too?

The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tr: The girl wants to fix him some broth.
Sp: Tinselcock!
Ch: Tinselcock!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Charles H. Ulrich" <CUL...@POMONA.CLAREMONT.EDU>
# Tinsel is long, narrow, strips of foil used to decorate Christmas trees.
# It is also known as "icicles".

#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)

# I'd heard from Janet Ferguson Hof about the making of 200 Motels. Janet
# was the blond groupie in the movie. There was a little car shaped like a
# penis and covered with foil that was to be used in a scene which was never
# shot. Ringo Starr put the little car in his backyard.

Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courderoy Ponce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sp: Broth reminds me of nuns.
Ch: ( Nuns... Nuns...)
Sp: I see them smashing with rulers
disciplining munchkin cretins.
Tortured munchkins, tortured munchkins
I wish irish catholic victims.

# From: David Thomas <da...@parsifal.micro.ti.com>

# This all seems to relate to the harsh discipline and repressed
# sexuality of Catholic parochial schools. These schools mainly
# turn out good little Catholics, but when they fail, they sometimes
# fail spectacularly, producing twisted personalities like FZ and
# George Carlin.]

Strictly Genteel (the finale)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T: This, as you might have guessed, is the end of the movie. The entire cast
is assembled here at the Centerville Recreational Facility to bid farewell
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Early in the movie the placed was called by Larry the Dwarf
# The Reorientational Facility ( erected to bring about the final solution to
# the orchestra question ), the lecture goes like this:
#
# Hello there... When you go on tour with musical group it's possible that
# any town [can? be? seen?] like this, whatever it's large or small or busy or
# nothing happend in it. The reason for this is quit simple. A musician if you
# consider the normal pattern of modern civilized life is on the outside of
# the road. He doesn't build things, he doesn' work regular hours like a
# decent God-fearing citizens and the life he leads in many ways seems useless
# and irrelevant to those of us who prefered a quiet evening in front of the
# television and a bottle of beer .
# Amazing as it might seems to some of us musician's basical physical needs
# are just like [of?] real people. Many of them study for years, learnig to
# play the violin, for instance, only to be rewarded with humdrum job in the
# forth row of the symphonic string section. That's why the goverment have
# constructed at great expanse this experimental reorientation facility to
# find the way perhaps to retrain this useless musicians [???] fiddles and
# horns the reasons to exist in modern world, a chance of happy and more
# productive life, some [send?] to the militry, some [????] and some disappear in
# the middle of the night on the special training assigned to them.
#
# So it seems that when time comes for Joe's Garage the main idea was ten
# years old.

Ch: Help everybody, so they all get some action,
some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction.

M&H: Reach out your hand to the girl in the dog book,
the girl in the pig book, and the one with the horse.

# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# This refers to porno magazines and his invitation to sexually enjoy
# yourself....literally ;-)))); ie. go out and enjoy yourself after watching
# 200 Motels
#
#CC
# From: wi...@physics.att.com (David Windt)
#
# In the (instrumental) MAJNH version of this song, when they get to the end
# of this verse, right after the word "horse", Walt Fowler plays that little
# trumpet diddy that they play at the racetrack, you know, when they announce
# "The horses are on the track..."

M&H: The Swedish apparatus with a hood and a bludgeon
with a microwave oven. "Honey, how do it feel"

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Accordingly to the Keith Moon, dressed up like Nun in the movie,
# this is special means to make your cock monstrous enough.

M&H: We're all going to get wasted.
We're all going to get twisted.
We're all going to get wasted.
^^^^^^^
We're all going to get twisted.
^^^^^^^
H: And I am definitely going to get. . .

M&H REAMED

^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# ...I think it's more likely that getting "out of it", "bent", "reamed",
# "wasted", and "twisted" all referred to getting drunk on alcohol and/or
# stoned on marijuana. But in 1970 I was thirteen years old and unfamiliar
# with most of these terms, so I'm basing my interpretation on later usage
# and on context.
#
# From: "David G. Walley" <dgwa...@bcn.net>
# Yes, absolutely correct!

JUST ANOTHER BAND FROM L.A.
==========================

Notes and Comments
ver.27-March-96

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Words are just another
International Copyright Violation Effort
of
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
and
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

Special thanks to
sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>
and
"Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.

# From the album front cover
# "Any visual similarity between the cover of this album and the "Uncle Meat"
# illustrated booklet ( not to mention RUBEN & THE JETS ) is thoroughly
# intentional and contains 4 secret clues."

#
# From: mi...@cico.com (Michael Heth)

# It worked !, in this case, anyway.
# First, the word LAS meant "the" in Spanish in the same way that Los Lobos
# means "The Wolves". So it was "The Mothers".
# RIFA was some sort of "exclamation" used by the "Pachucos" (probably while
# "cruising").
# The five handed star was a "Snat" sound balloon to show that the "Snat" had
# a finger snapping sound.
# And finally the part that worked so beautifully, was the 4 secret clues in
# tiny print to make you wonder. It's a childish type of joke along the lines
# of "made you look, made you look!!" and it's just the type of stuff that
# made Franks so much fun to listen to and "participate" with.
# I've got 14 secrets clues so far, how about you? (Remember, it's all one
# big note).
#
# From: alo...@lune.math.tau.ac.il (Alon Wasserman)
# The cover of R&TJ is similar in style to the JABFLA cover. In addition,
# both have a 5-handed star with the letters SNAT.

Billy the Mountain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy the Mountain
Billy the Mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# Don't know about Rosamond, but Gorman is at the top of "The Grapevine;"
# that real big, steep mountain north of L.A. on the route 5 freeway.

# Below is a first draft for a map of Montainin's journey.
#
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Hey! ... Here is my interpretation, (not drawn to scale):
#
#
# o
# Palmdale
# ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ......;;;;|||||
# = - = - ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |||||||||||||||
# - San Fernando \ |||| Mojave |||
# = Valley - = Mountainins |||| desert |||
# - = - = - = - |||||||||||||||
# = - = - = - = |||||;;;;;;
# -- o
# \ o Glendale
# \ Topanga o
# \ _ Irwindale
# \ o
# | Downtown L.A.
# \
# Pacific | o
# Ocean \ Lawndale
# ---\
# -----\
# \
# \-
# \
#
#
# For a real, modern, accurate representation of the landmarks
# in this song we should get copyright permissions from the Thomas Bros.
# map people, scan the appropriate sections, and highlight the points of
# interest. Now who's the attorney in this group?

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Hey, Rob, I don't know, but look, what a beautiful map I found
# between pp.29-31 of David Walley's book _No Commercial Potential_
#
# Antelope Valley
# ^^ ===============
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Mojave
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ +----------------+
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ | Edwards Air |
# ^^ ^^ ^ | Force Base |
# ^^ ^^ ^ | |
# ^^ ^^o^ ^^ o +----------------+
#^^ ^^ Gorman ^^ Rosamond
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Lancaster
# ^^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^ ^^ ^^ ^ ^^
# ^^ ^^ ^ ^^ o Palmdale o Sun Village
# ^^^ ^^ ^^ ^
# ^^ ^^ ^
# ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^
# So all it was just a few miles away from little Frankie hometown. Woow.

Now, one day, and I believe it was on Tuesday,
a man in checkered double-knit suit
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# The attire of choice for young upwardly mobile types and lounge lizards.
#
#CC
# See and listen also, Eddie Are You Kidding? song and song's comments below

drove up in large El Dorado Cadillac leased from Bob Spreene
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# The showiest Caddy. Spreene must be a big-time car dealer.

( "Where the freeways meet in Downey!" )
^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Where the Freeways Meet in Downey" Bob Spreen Cadillac dealership
# commercials were on constantly in 60's on local TV stations

and he laid a huge bulging envelope right at the corner of BILLY
THE MOUNTAIN, that was right where his foot was supposed to be.
Now BILLY THE MOUNTAIN, he couldn't believe it:
All those postcards he'd posed for, for all of those years,
and finally, now at last, his royalties!
"Royalties, royalties, royalties! The royalty check is in, honey!"
... Yes, BILLY THE MOUNTAIN was rich! Yes, and his eyeball caves,
they widened in amazement... and his jaw, which was a cliff, well
it ... it dropped thirty feet! A bunch of dust puffed out ...
rocks and boulders hacked up, hack! hack! ... crushing the Lincoln ...
^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# It seems to be Caddie a few seconds before. So the question arises how
# much of the song's lyrics was written by Frank and how much just
# improvised on the stage by Flo'n'Eddie?

"It's off to Las Vegas to check out the lounges,
^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# It's a nightclub

Pull a few handles and drink a few beers, oh Ethel,
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Slot-machines, one-arm bandits.

their voices echoing thru the canyons of your minds...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Robert Lumley-Sapanski <RX...@psuvm.psu.edu>
# I always believed the line from Billy the Mountain came from that
# incredibly syrupy song, The Bright Elusive Butterfly of Love, which was
# done by someone like Bobby Goldsboro, which was true California early
# 70's song writting. Just the kind of song that would make Frank parody
# America's Pop music. "Don't be concened it will not harm you, its only
# me persuing something I'm not sure of, I chase the bright elusive
# butterly of love" great googily moogily. Anyway that's my opinion and I
# usually think I'm right and I hear it echoing through the canyons of my
# mind. Anyone else remember this song?
#
# From: blak...@iglou.iglou.com (Greg Blakeney)
# Gentle on my Mind was written by John Hartford, not by Cambell. John
# Hartford is one the cool guys. Glenn Campbell, although not a songwriter of
# any aclaim, is a pretty good guitarist. Kinda like a Jerry Reed Jr.
# I can't believe this songwriter/performer hasn't been named yet, it's
# been on the tip of my tongue since the beginning of this thread. In this
# newsgroup you HAVE to enjoy a multitude of styles. Come on, "the bright
# elusive butterfly of love" can't be that hard! It's right up there with
# some of those Scott McKensie tunes. Unfortunatly, I seem to think the
# Canyons of your mind line is from something other than "butterfly".
#
# From: nude...@aol.com (NudeAdGuy)
# "Elusive Butterfly" was the only hit (#5 on the charts) for Bob Lind.
# (Incidentally, the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band also recorded a song called
# "Canyons of Your Mind," which had lyrics I think Frank would have loved:
# (Parentheses indicate background singers)
# SPOKEN INTRO:
# This is the B side of our platter, sports fans...
# And I'm singing just for you--covered in sequins!
#
# (SUNG)
# In the Canyons of your mind
# I will wander through your brain
# To the ventricles of your heart, my dear,
# I'm in love with you again.
#
# 'Cross the mountains of your chest,
# I will sticker you in jest
# To the forest of your cheek,
# Through the holes in your string vest
#
# (Intentionally awful guitar solo)
#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)
# I've been a big Bonzo fan ever since those failed-social-programs-packed
# sixties. I still play _Tadpoles_ pretty often--especially "Windmills of Your
# Mind," arguably the very best/worst rock song ever recorded.
# As far as I know, they developed in England independently of the Mothers,
# coming from trad-jazz and English music-hall traditions. I've never heard
# any band members' comments on FZ, or vice-versa. But I have to say I always
# thought "Legs" Larry Smith, the drummer of the group, bore a striking
# resemblance to Jimmy Carl Black.

"Ethel, wanna get a cuppa cawfee? Howard Johnson's, ahhh
there's a Howard Johnson's! ... Wanna eat some clams? ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Howard Johnson's WAS a famous chain of restourants, ubiquitous, with
# orange roofs, where Plastic People eat.
#
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Famous hotel and restaurant chain. See also Kurt Vonnegut's "Welcome to
# the Monkey House"
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Correct, but does anybody know why eating *clams* at Howard Johnson's is
# funny? I can only guess that there may have been a band joke about an
# occasion when they had clams at Howard Johnson's.
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# I believe the Breaded Fried Clams were a staple on their menu. There used
# to be one on Indian Hill blvd. just north of the 10 freeway.

The first noteworhty piece of real estate they destroyed was
Edwards Air Force Base.
And to this very day, wing-nuts and data reduction clerks
^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Wing-nuts - aircraft mechanics. My guess would be that data reduction
# clerks are responsible for destroying (shredding) classified data.

"Word just in to the KTTV news service undeniably links this mountain and
^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# It's amazing for anyone who didn't grow up in Southern California in the
# 60's and 70's how many "in" jokes and references are totally missed!
# The references to "KTTV" and "this reporter's opinion" about communist
# witch-hunts and such refer to GEORGE PUTNAM, the Rush Limbaugh of the '60s,
# who was lead anchor on the KTTV news and who was always going on in dramatic
# tones about communists and hippies ad infinitum.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Something that would really make it clear to people what George Putnam
# was like is the following story: the character of Ted Baxter from the
# US comedy TV show "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (ran through the 70's) was
# modeled directly after George Putnam, according to the actor who played him
# (can't remember his name, and I haven't any idea of any source that quotes
# him to this effect). The vain, pretentious, and insincere Ted Baxter is
# a pretty good imitation of George Putnam.
# George Putnam was fond of digging up obscure sources and conspiracies that
# were totally unlikely...for instance, the "informed Orange County
# minister", witchcraft, and averting the "crippling strike of bartenders and
# vetrinarians".
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# George [Putnam] still has a daily mid-day radio brodcast on 870 AM station
# KIEV out of Glendale. His theme song is "Everybody's Talkin'" by Harry
# Nillsson. He's always making in-jokes about going out with the guest after
# the show to have a "Buttermilk" (his code word for booze). When someone
# tells him something even mildly surprising or unexpected, he bellows in his
# most stentorian tone, "THINK of it!!!" George lives on a ranch in Chino
# and raises horses.

his wife to drug abuse and payoffs as part of San Joaquin Valley smut ring.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
However, we can assure parents in the Southern California area that a
recent narcotic crackdown in Torrence ... Hawthorne ... Lomita ...
^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
Westchester ... Playa del Rey ... Santa Monica ... Tujunga ... Sunland
^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^
... San Fernando ... Pacoima ... Sylmar ... Newhall ... Canoga Park ..
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^
Palmdale ... Glendale ... Irwindale ... Rolling Hills ... Granada Hills
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
... Shadow Hills ... Cheviot Hills ... will provide the secret evidence
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# There's not enough room on the ASCII map to put all these in. Please refer
# to Thomas guide pages 23,24,25,15,16,17 etc.

Within the week, Jerry Lewis had hosted
^^^^^^^^^^^
a telethon ( La La La nice lady )
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# Jerry Lee Lewis and telethons? C'mon! It's, of course, Jerry Lewis
# the comedian, famous for Muscular Dystrophy telethons the world over!
# "La La La Nice Lady" is a parody of his voice!

to raise funds for the injured, "injured", and homeless, "homeless"
in Glendale, as Billy had just levelled it.
And a few miles right outside of town Billy caused a
'Oh mein papa' in the earth's crust, right over the secret underground
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Oh Mein Papa: A million-selling #1 record by Eddie Fisher in 1953.
# A pun on "fissure".
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# The KEY word has been left out here! "Billy caused a *fissure* in the
# earth's crust..."
# "Oh My Papa" was a sentimentally smarmy little waltz (from the '50s I
# believe) sung by Eddie FISHER. Get it, honey?

dumps, right near the Jack In The Box on Glenoaks where they keep the pools
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Glenoaks - boulevard of Burbank and Glendale.
# Jack-in-the-Box - fast-food restaurant, sort of like a cross between a
# McDonald's and Taco Bell.

Now, unless I misunderstood, it was right outside of Columbus, Ohio
when Billy received his notice to report for his induction physical. Now
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Should I assume that people know that this refers to the physical exam one
# takes before joining or being drafted into the army?

lemme tell ya, Ethel said, now Ethel, Ethel said she wasn't gonna let him
go ... "I'm not gonna let you go, Billy" ... that's right, we now have
confirmed reports from an informed Orange County minister that Ethel is
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Probably a reference to Robert Schuller, who built the "Crystal Cathedral",
# a large, expensive house of worship.

still an active communist and it is this reporter's opinion that she also
practices covent WITCH-CRAFT ...

It was about this time that the telephone rang inside of the secret
briefcase belonging to one mortal man who might be able to stop all of
this senseless destruction and save America herself. And I'm sorry to
disappoint some of you, it was not Chief Redden. This one man was
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Former Police Chief of Los Angeles. Made Darryl Gates look like a liberal
# from what I hear.

Studebacher Hoch, fantastic new super hero of the current economic slump.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# It's a pun on car's trade name.
#
# From: jdsh...@ucs.indiana.edu (Morpheus)
# ...there's a car named Studebaker Hawk.. it has fins on the back.. and was
# (and still is) a nice car! There's also a Studebaker Lark...
# (They named their cars after birds).
#
# From: Robert Lumley-Sapanski <RX...@psuvm.psu.edu>
# The name came from a classic gawdy car with really neat fins and chrome
# made by Studebaker and called the Hawk. It was studebaker's response to
# cars like the Bel-Air, the El Dorado, the Galaxy 500. And they're all
# made out of Plastic, when they melt they start to stink!
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# It might be interesting to point out that, even in 1971 (soooo long
# ago!) the Studebaker Hawk had already been an obscure auto of the past.
# When I heard BTM in 1971, this joke had to be explained to me.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Chronologicaly on the vinyl Hoch first time appeared on _200 Motels_ 2LP's
# track _Dental Hygeine Dilemma_. Billy the Mountain was also mentioned
# there. So check appropriate ( I mean 200 Motels :-) N&C.

Now, some folks say he looked like Zubin Mehta (Zubin Mehta);
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Famous, world-wide known orchestral conductor. His orchestra and Mothers
# once upon a time performed 200 Motels together. Fuckin' union didn't
# allow Frank to record this show, but at the same time didn't mind that
# someone in the audience brought mic and tape recorder along with him. So
# look for a bootleg named
# 200 Motels - May 15, 70 at UCLA CA with Mothers, Zubin Mehta and
# LA Philaharmonic

still others say "Bullshit, honey, it was just another greasy guy
who happened to be born next to the frozen beef pies at Boney's Market...";
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: calc...@wavenet.com (Nigey Lennon)
# Boni's Market was in the San Fernando Valley, in Studio City. There were
# a lot of references to markets in "Billy the Mountain" -- at the Pauley
# Pavilion concert there was also a mention of the Ralphs supermarket on
# Laurel Canyon Boulevard in Studio City ("where no prices are lower prices
# than Ralphs"). When "Billy the Mountain" was performed in New York, the
# L.A. references were changed to New York references -- i.e., Gristede's
# instead of Ralphs, etc. Typically, on the '71 tour, all local references in
# "Billy the Mountain" were altered to fit wherever the performance happened
# to be -- such as "for untimely dispersion over vast stretches of -- ",
# etc.

still others say "Pshaw, and piss on you, Jack,
he's just a crazy Italian who drove a red car ..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Who could be he? Any idea?

You can never really tell about a guy like that
Whether he's really a nice person
Or if he just smiles a lot
Or if he has a son named Pinocchio or what.
^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# I suspect that the father of Carlo Collodi's character haven't a red car :-))

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

#:-))
# Gepetto

And all the girls in Flushing would be amazed of him
^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Seems to be cheesy wet t-shirt contests place.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# I never noticed the word "Flushing" in the lyrics, but I'll believe you.
# Flushing is an actual place in New York state, in or near Brooklyn, I
# believe. I don't know if it is an incorporated city, or just a
# neighbohood. I think it's proper name might actually be "Flushing
# Meadows." Why girls in Flushing would be "amazed of" Studebaker Hawk I'm
# not quite sure, except that Flushing may be some insular middle-class
# town with naive girls who would be amazed of anything.

Time passed. January, February, March, July, Wednesdey, August, Irwindale,
two-thirty in the afternoon, Sunday, Monday, Funny Cars, Walnuts, City of
Industry, Big John Masamanian ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Oh, man, a *lot* of references are being missed here! Irwindale (only
# 10 minutes from where I grew up, in Glendora!) was famous in L.A. (or,
# the San Gabriel Valley, at least, a portion of eastern L.A. county) for
# being the site of "drag races", i.e. races between souped-up cars with
# giant engines. A "Funny Car" was a particularly decorative instance of
# such a car...it had the body of a car from the 40's but a super
# turbocharged engine in the front (i.e. this incongruity is what made it
# "funny"...also it usually was painted very brightly and with lots of
# advertisements and word...also "funny"). I don't think it's "Walnuts",
# but rather "Walnut", the name of a city which I believe is near
# Irwindale. "City of Industry" is the *actual name* of a town that is
# also not far from Irwindale. Big John Masmanian (note the corrected
# spelling) was, I believe, a well-known personality among the drag race
# scene (which is why someone laughs hysterically at that point in the
# performance). I remember, back in the 60's, many posters nailed to
# telephone poles advertising the coming weekend's activities at the Drag
# Races, with large captial letters screaming his name. The posters were
# just like wrestling match posters, which gives you a clue of the kind of
# culture that Drag Races were.
# To share just one or two more reminisces: we had to beg our Dad to bring
# us to the Irwindale drag races, and we succeeded probably only once or
# twice, because the sort of people who frequented drag races were a "bad
# element"...greasers, hoods, misbehaved "Okie" types, families with 12-year
# old kids who smoked and drank, and so on. Another memory is laying in
# bed at night in Glendora...20-30 miles away...on a Sunday night and actually
# hearing the sound of those giant "drag racer" engines taking off.
# I don't quite know why Irwindale is being brought up at this point in
# the story...
#
# From: Tony Sandell <TSan...@aol.com>.
# Hmm... I don't remember the posters but I remember the radio commercials
# screaming "Sunday! Sunday! Big John Masmainian! Don "The Snake" Prudhomme!
# Gas Ronda!" and the like.
# I think it's a stream-of-conciousness thing -- where they start reciting
# months and days: "Time passed. January, February, March, July, Wednesdey,
# August, Irwindale, two-thirty in the afternoon, Sunday," kind of naturally
# leads right into 'Sunday! Sunday! Big John Masmanian!' etc. etc.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# In other words the Monday, Tuesday thing is just a setup for the Funny
# Car stuff, by spinning of from "Sunday" into the radio ad. Clever stuff.
#
# From: gdne...@nickel.ucs.indiana.edu (gregory david newton)
# >Great FAQ, but have to disagree with the definition of "Funny Cars". I
# >think they're called that because they use nitrous oxide ("laughing
# >gas", therefore "funny"). In the process of combustion, the oxygen is
# >freed from the nitrogen giving an extra kick to the fuel. These things
# >are very dangerous and flames flying out their exhaust give them a
# >surreal effect.
#
# Not quite; Funny Cars (and Top Fuel dragsters) run on nitromethane. I
# have no idea if it's chemically related to Laughing Gas (undergrad
# chemistry was a *long* time ago) but it is indeed highly explosive
# stuff. It's a very expensive sport at that level, in no small part
# because the fuel is so hard on the engine that racers may have to go
# through major engine rebuilding (or complete replacement) between rounds.
# P.S. I have run into people who have added nitrous oxide injection kits
# to various *gasoline* powered motors. It does indeed seem to provide an
# extra power boost from the added oxygen, but only in very short bursts
# and at the expense of drastically reduced engine life (combustion gets
# way to hot, I guess).
#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)
# Thanks for the correction. I should have checked with a co-worker, who
# used to "drive" the beasts, before I posted. He tells me (NOW he tells
# me <g>) that the funny cars got their name from their body, which is a
# single fiberglass piece (with mylar), their enormous "cheaters" (as
# Greg said), and mainly from the way the driver is "loaded" in. Since
# there are no doors, the chassis is hoisted above the chassis so the
# driver can get in. A little gas is squirted in to prime the ignition
# (nowadays, they use pure nitromethane - back in the early 70s, when he
# raced, they used a mixture), the body is lowered and set, and
# hopefully the race starts real soon.
# He also told me that the cars running nitrous oxide are very similar
# to the funny cars, so I don't feel so bad about the mistake. The big
# difference, from the outside anyway, is that they have doors. He said
# they mostly run the IHRA circuit (as opposed to NHRA) in a category
# called "Pro Mod" (forgive me, for the sake of transmitting the correct
# information this time I am probably overdoing it a bit...).
# IOW, "Funny Cars" means "no doors".

So when the phone ring in the secret briefcase, a
strong masculine hand with a Dudley Do-Right wristwatch and flexy braclet
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Dudley Do-Right - cartoon character; of the Royal Mounted Canadian Police;
# probably knew Magdalena

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Dudley Do-Right: inept, straight-laced constable in the Royal Canadian
# Mounted Police in a cartoon segment of The Bullwinkle Show, produced by
# Jay Ward, 1961-1964. There really were Dudley Do-Right wristwatches.

#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# Dudley is currently the spokestoonvoice for Ricoh copiers. Never expected
# him to sell out.
# More correctly for Infincom, the distributor of Ricoh.

untold destruction..( my baby, my baby )...wanted for draft evasion?...
an expense account? ... and per diem, too?..."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^

# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# "Expense account" is what a travelling businessman is given by his company
# to pay for his on-road expenses. A "per diem" is the amount that he may
# spend on a daily basis for food, and if he's really lucky, entertainment.
# I believe that the reason why Studebaker Hawk is exclaiming this is
# these well-cherished consultant's items are part of the job offer.

underneath Joni Mitchell's autographed picture,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From _Rock of Ages_ The Rolling Stones :-)))) History of R'n'R
# ... one of the most important of the first-wave singer-songwriters was
# Joni Mitchell, who wrote tough, unsparing first-person songs about herself
# ... and delivered them in a voice that sounded as though she'd swallowed
# a mouse.
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# Was?? She's still an active singer. Her album "Court and Spark" should
# be seriously considered to be one of the best albums in pop music
# history. The characterization you are quoting is being very sarcastic
# and cynical; she wrote great tunes and had top-notch backup musicians
# and collaborators.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# From Mother! The Frank Zappa Story by Michael Gray, p. 86:
#
# "...Motorhead had picked up this strange new girlfriend who hung around
# the house for a while.
# "Zappa recalled this relationship when he talked to me eight years
# later, in April 1975: 'Yeah he picked her up in New York some place and
# brought her to the house. And I remember her sitting in the corner,
# playing guitar, singing to herself; she had a beret on the first time I
# saw her and she was leaning over the guitar and she was drooling. That
# was before she had a record contract.' Her name was Joni Mitchell.
# "(I said I found it hard to imagine the 1967 Frank Zappa and Joni
# Mitchell being compatible kinds of people. Zappa said: 'No. That's not
# true. Actually I have a great respect for what she does. The thing I
# like is her melisma--I think that it's well executed and I think that
# it's interesting, from a musical standpoint. I'm not too enthralled
# by the lyrics, because I'm not into love songs.')"
#
# Also, according to Miles' Frank Zappa: A Visual Documentary, Joni
# Mitchell sat in with the Mothers at the Fillmore in 1970.

right beside Elliot Robert's big bank book,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# The Manager of Crosby, Stills and Nash - I believe both the group and the
# individual members.

next to the boat where Crosby flushed away all
his stash and the cops got him in the boat and drove away,

# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# David Crosby did go to jail on Drugs offences.

to the can where Neil Young slipped another disc ...
^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Obviously Frank liked to offend those guys
# _Fillmore East, June 1971_ Do You Like My New Car
#
# - Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive... pop star of a
# man... picture this if you can: bead jobs! knotted nylons! bamboo canes!
# three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young fighting in
# the dressing-room of the Fillmore East! Why, 'n enchilada wrapped with
# pickle sauce shook up and down in between a donkey's legs until
# he can't it stand anymore!
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# I believe that CSN&Y fought like hell over musical matters (but CSN did
# not). Remember that Neil Young left Buffalo Springfield over musical
# differences some time before the group split. On 'Four Way Street' Young
# makes reference to this when introducing Steven Stills: "We've had our ups
# and downs but we're still playing together". On the other hand I doubt if
# there was much fighting in FZ's bands at the time this album was made as I
# doubt whether there was any room for disagreement on musical matters,
# Frank knowing exactly what he wanted...

Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife who ran a modeling school,
whereupon he... yes, he ran around the back of the Broadway at Hollywood
Boulevard and Vine to see if he could find himself some big, large,
unused cardboard boxes ( no shit! )... after which he hit up the Ralph's
^^^^^^^
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# You should point out that there was a TV/radio commercial for Ralph's,
# heard about as often as the "Bob Spreene" commercial in those days, with
# the ditty "where no prices are lower prices than Ralph's" which goes exactly
# like the way Mark Volman sings it.

on Sunset for some Aunt Jemima syrup, some Kaiser boiler foil and pair
of blunt sissors, yeah! ... yes, and in the parking lot of Ralph's ...
where no prices are lower prices than Ralph's...
( help me! help me! help me! )

# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Please refer to the ending of 50's horror film "The Fly".

( help me! help me! help me! ) ... He held open the legs of his boxer
shorts so they could all get in, and when each and every one of those
little cocksucking flies had gone into his pants and they were lapping up
all that maple syrup, he bent over and he put his head between his legs and
he said in a very clear, impressive, Ron-Hubbard-type voice: "New York"...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# L. Ron Hubbard - author of "Dianetics" and founder of The Church of
# Scientology.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# :-) The mystery man came over
# An' he said "I'm outta site"

He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen
(Fly to New York)
He could be a narc
Or a lady marine

#CC
# Look, how later almost the same collection of words was reorganized
# for a new purpose (') _Saint Alfonzo's..._
#
# I saw a handsome parish lady
# Make her entrance like a queen
# Why, she was totally chenille
# And her old man was Marine
#

Or he might play dirty
He's over thirty
Getting old ...

#CC
# It's funny to note that those words are almost verbatim
# Kaylan-Vollman-Lickert 200 Motels anti-Zappa conspirancy slogans

Ah, but Ethel just shook her twigs angrily. But Studebacher Hoch, calm,
cool, collected and unperturbed, continued:

"Ya, well listen ... listen you communist sonofabitch ... you better get
your ass down there for your fuckin' physical or I'll see to it that you
get used for fill dirt in some impending New Jersey marsh reclamation ...
^^^^^^^^^^
# Another CC token of the time
# _200 Motels_ Strictly Genteel (the finale)
#
# A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey.
#
# Phillis in _Uncle Meat_ movie while talkin' about losing her NY accent
# says
# They think I'm from New Jersey
#
# From: "Gregory J. Sandell" <san...@sparky.parmly.luc.edu>
# These too are pointless connections. New Jersey is a state in the USA,
# often the butt of jokes when wants to refer to anything that is boring,
# middle class and mass-produced. FZ is using that symbol in the same way
# in each case, but there is no connection between those uses that has any
# "meaning". It's as though "Moscow" was used to represent beaureacracy.

Call Any Vegetable
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one will know
If you don't want to let them know
No one will know
'less it's you that might tell them so
Call and they'll come to you
Smiling and covered with dew
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream
Vegetable dream of responding to you
Standing there shiny and proud by your side
Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
^^^^^^
#:-) It was hand in Absolutely Free version

Shooo, Shooo, Shoo, Shoo ....
You know a lot of people don't bother about there friends in the vegetable
kingdom. They, they think: What can I say? Some times they think:
Where can I go?
Where can I go to get my poodle clipped in Burbank?
At Ralph's vegetarian poodle clippin', where you can come this...

# Was it the Ralph's mentioned in Billy The Mountain ?

Where can I go to get organic vaseline for my [intercourse?]
At Bob and Ray's swaheli restorant, where you can come this close.....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Bob and Ray - early American radio comedy team.

Where can I go to get my exit lights?,
At Jack LaLane Hamburgers on 312 Woodier(?) Boulavard.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# At Jack LaLane Hamburgers on 312 Woodier(?) Boulavard.
# \
# probably "Whittier"
# Jack LaLane - father of the American fitness trend
#

Call it direct,
Call it collect,
But call it today.

Eddie Are You Kidding?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie, are you kidding?
I've seen you on my TV
Eddie, are you kidding?
^^^^^^

# From: obr...@imagen.com (Doug Obrecht)
# He used to own a clothing store and made cheesy TV commercials in the 70's.
# I forget the name of that store. I think it was on Wilshire Blvd close to
# Santa Monica Blvd. No! I am not kidding!
#
# From: pshi...@whale.st.usm.edu (Phil Shirley)
# In response to the person who asked if Eddie (as in "Eddie, are you
# kidding?") was still around: Mark V. & Howard K. were interviewed on the
# Doctor Demento Show about 3 or 5 years ago. They said that they had seen
# Eddie on TV within the last few weeks, as I remember. Same bit as he had
# done before, apparently.

I thought they were the pits
^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# the pits - less than complimentary descriptive; i.e "they suck"
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# Derived from 'pit' on the sense of the stone in the centre of plums,
# cherries, etc.

Eddie, my friends ask me,
Eddie, Eddie, are you kidding?
I wanna tell you something,
my friends:
I am not kidding.
Here at Zachary All
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Zachary All" was the name of the clothing store that Eddie (are you
# kidding?) ran. I think I saw a commercial about a year ago -- he looks
# a lot older!

In all the right places.
They're most comfortable.
Our model Twiggy here will demostrate.

^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Had she really worked for Eddie? I believe she used to be a flat little
# english model which introduced to the world Mary Quant's (sp?) idea of
# how thrilling short skirts could be.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <ulr...@sfu.ca>

# Undoubtedly not. I've always imagined that this was an ironic reference
# to Mark Volman, whose physique was quite the opposite of hers. Does
# anyone who saw this band remember if Flo mimed modeling the double-knits
# at this point?
#
# From: bari...@crl.com (Michael Barrett)
# I saw Flo n' Eddie several times in their post Zappa years, and I think it
# did refer to Flo's physique. Although when they did "EAYK" on their own,
# the description had changed to the more appropriate "Our lovely model
# Gorgo here will demonstrate..."

I have this lovely little
Seersucker ... wait a minute

WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.
AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT
I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY

#CC
# " Questions, Questions, Questions, flooding into the mind of the concerned
# young person today..."
# Frank Zappa. Call Any Vegetable. JABFLA.

Magdalena
~~~~~~~~~

There was a man
A little ole man
Who lived in Montreal
With a wife and a kid
And a car and a house
And a teenage daughter
With a see-thru blouse
Who loved to grunt and ball - -
And her name was Magdalena

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# It seems to me that this is FZ's version of some real story he can read
# or hear of. Something like The Illinois Enema Bandit's stuff. Does anyone
# happen to know the name of prototype and his true story?
#
# From: calc...@wavenet.com (Nigey Lennon)
# The song "Magdalena" was written before I joined the tour, but I don't
# think it was based on anything in particular, like an article or a story.
# However, it did create a spin-off, "Winnipeg Rangers", the chorus of which
# went: "Rangers, ho! Rangers, ho! Rangers ho-ho-ho". This song, being rather
# fragmentary, was never performed in concert or recorded, mostly being sung
# in airports during the tour. There was always lots of joking going on
# during the tour about the various lyrics, and from that often came
# modifications of the songs in performance. For instance, in "Bwana Dik",
# there was originally a reference to Hodgkins' disease -- instead of "I
# didn't know you were so obviously -- pregnant" it was "I didn't know you so
# obviously had -- Hodgkins' disease", and the chorus went "Hodgkins'
# disease, Hodgkins' disease". However, even Frank felt this was too 'sick',
# and it was dropped after a few performances.

"She looks all right!"
And he reached for a tit
And grabbed it tight
And threw her up
Against the wall
(BLUE CROSS!)
^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Blue Cross - long time health care insurance provider. Not sure what the
# reference means here.

DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH
DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# "Hey de-due" (sic) Adee Plumbing still has commercials on TV (been
# running about 30 years continuously). The commercials would always start
# out listing of host of plumbing problems that the average Joe could run
# into, and finish up with some geeky guy in a sing-song voice assuring the
# viewing public that "Adee Do" all that stuff, so call 'em!

Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena,
daughter of the smog-filled winds of Los Angeles,
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This strange shift from Quebec to California seems to be typical gig's site
# dependant joke. On _Swiss Cheese_ Magdalena's version Howard Kaplan :-)
# improvised here about
# ... walking down the street of Montreax ...skating on the slopes
# of our choice...

I'd like to take you in the closet
and take off your little clothes
until you're virtually stark raving nude,
spread mayonaise and kaopectate all over your body
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Similar idea of minor's sex abusage can be found on _Absolutely Free_
# _Brown Shoes Don't Make It_
#
# If she were my daughter, I'd ...
# What would you do, Daddy?
#
# Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
# And strap her on again, oh baby
#
# Yes, you couldn't just did a wee-wee in her hair... :-)))))))))))

and take you down to Hollywood Boulevard
and we can, we can walk down the streets
by the stars that say John Provost and Leo G. Carrol
^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
# Jon (not John) Provost: child actor who played Timmy on Lassie, CBS
# television, 1957-1964.
#
# Leo G. Carroll (1892-1972): British character actor, appeared in films
# such as Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, North by Northwest, but FZ would
# probably have preferred Tarantula, a 1955 monster movie. Carroll played the
# title role in the Topper TV series and Mr.Waverley in The Man from
# U.N.C.L.E.

We can go dancing up at the Cina Grill ...
^^^^^^^^^
# From: ma...@lainet.com (Matt Bloomfield)
# The Cinegrill - a once trendy Hollywood Blvd. lounge lizard spot,
# recently revived and still in business...

I didn't mean, I didn't need, I mean ... it was so hard for me ...
I just ... I saw you standing under the Shell pest strip late last
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Shell no-pest strip - a bug killing plastic slab that was mounted in a
# cardboard box that would hang from your porch light - like ... mistletoe !
# Brought to you by the Shell Oil Company.
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# Later withdrawn from the market as they were found to be toxic to humans.

I'm down on my knees to ya, Magdalena... I wantcha ta walk back to me,
Baby... I wantcha to turn around by the Sparkletts machine... that's it!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Sparklett's - long time supplier of bottled water.
#
# From: ch...@transdata.co.nz (Chris Grace)
# Maybe, but not in this case. Sparklets machines are those soda water
# dispensers which you fill with water, then screw a little steel capsule of
# carbon dioxide gas into. Result: Soda water (club soda/seltzer for
# americans)

Jesus picture on the wall... and I want you to step, Baby, I want you
to walk back in your five inch spike heels that you got at Frederick's,
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Frederick's - Frederick's of Hollywood; purveyor of women's lingerie.

was so wrong?...my god, I was only following the sexual impulse like
I heard on the Johnny Carson Show...from a book or something I wrote,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: sw...@ucs.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# Johnny Carson - the venerable long-time host of "The Tonight Show"; now
# hosted by Jay Leno

I didn't know what I was doing...I got carried away... walk back,
oh please, to your daddy!... come on, Magdalena... to your daddy,
Baby... your mom will never know... come back to you daddy!...

Robbert Heederik

unread,

May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part3

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 3 of 6 |

| part 3 of 6 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

GRAND WAZOO
===========

Notes & Comments
ver.08-March-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

special thanks to
j...@panini.att.com (Jeff Rocca)

For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitchhikers)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And who are those dudes in the
Back seat of Calvin's car?

Where did they go?
When they got off the car?
Did they go get sandwwich
And eat in the dark?

# From: rraa...@aol.com (RRAALLFF)
#
# The True Story of Calvin & His Hitch-hikers.
# by Cal Schenkel
#
# My 39 Pontiac was in the shop & so I had borrowed a car from Frank. It was
# this 1959 white Mark VIIII Jaguar that used to belong to Captain Beefheart
# that Janet was using at the time. When it worked. You know, the one they
# slashed the seats in (but I don't remember that). I just left Frank's
# house & I'm stopped at the corner of Mulholland & Laurel Canyon Blvd
# waiting for a red light to change, when I notice these 2 hitch-hikers, a
# hippie couple standing there waiting for a ride. The next thing I know
# they are getting in the back of the car. I guess they must have thought I
# offered them a ride (I didn't tell them to come into my car or motion them
# or anything-- I wasn't even thinking of it), so I ask them where they are
# going & they didn't say ANYTHING! I drive down Laurel Canyon Blvd past the
# Log Cabin, past Harry Houdini's, past the country store & into Hollywood.
# (I'm with Sherri at the time, but I forgot that until she told me a couple
# of months ago-- & she remembers all this too!) I get to the bottom of the
# hill, I was going to turn right. I kind of asked them "look I'm turning
# right, do you want to get out here?" They didn't say anything. They were
# just blank. I figured they were on acid or something. I just couldn't
# communicate with them. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just continued on to
# my destination. When I get there I said, "OK, this is where I'm going.
# Good-bye!" They just stayed in the car & didn't get out. So I parked the
# car, got out & went up to my studio & started to work. I was working on
# the album cover for Uncle Meat. This is in my studio that was a dentist's
# office over a hotdog joint on Melrose. Every once in a while I'd look out
# of the window to see if they were gone but they were still sitting in the
# back seat of the car. An hour or two later, I looked out the window & I
# noticed they were gone. I thought, "finally!" Then shortly afterwards, I
# saw that they were back! They went to the supermarket for a loaf of bread
# & lunchmeat & started making sandwiches in the back of the car. They were
# eating their lunch! Then they left.
#
# (partially extracted from a 1984 interview--mixed tenses intentionall)
# (c)1995 Cal Schenkel
#
# ...more on the car-- from Janet Neville-Ferguson Hof, whose car it
# actually was at the time:
#
# Calvin....Frank gave me that car for my birthday that year. [1969] Gawd.
# They bought the car from CB and then they put it in for repair at Holiday
# Motors, Van Nuys Blvd. (several times). I remember once we went to pick it
# up with [deleted]'s boyfriend and he backed into some kind of fabulous car
# there in the lot and totally dented it. It was a foreign car repair place.
# I think he backed into a Lamborgini or something. That car was always in
# the shop. It had been a stick shift made into automatic and when we picked
# it up for the last time I just drove it from [Frank's] to the Whisky and
# all this smoke was coming out of the back. I stopped in a gas station (the
# one on Sunset & Laurel) and the guy said "Oh nothing to worry about, it is
# just burning rich" and then, low and behold, flames shot up through the
# hole on the floor where the stick shift used to be. How embarrasing. Lucy
# put the fire out with my coat. Motorhead lived down the street at the
# time. Anyway, that car caught on fire in front of the Whiskey and then one
# of Motorhead's friends took it to fix it and I never saw it again. That
# car. Huh.
#
# (c)1995 maxmommy, reprinted by permission

OVERNITE SENSATION
==================

Notes & Comments
ver.29-Jan-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics from CD booklet

Camarillo Brillo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She had that
Camarillo brillo
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: mccl...@agcs.com (John McCluer)
# There is a place in California called Camarillo. There used to be
# some sort of a mental hospital there. Charlie Parker once was
# committed there, and he wrote a tune called "Relaxin' At Camarillo".
# Brillo is the brand name for a sort of steel wool pad (i.e., curly
# steel fibers). White people with curly hair are often called
# 'Brillo-head' in the USA (or, at least, I have called them that- but
# I'm pretty crude).
# I have always imagined that Camarillo Brillo referred to the wild, curly
# hair that the woman had; looking like she had just escaped from a mental
# hospital.
#

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# As I know, Camarillo is a place where mentally disordered people are kept in.
# Brillo (you know the Andy Warhol pictore of Brillo Boxes?) is something to
# clean with. Metal wool pads, I think.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Camarillo is (I think) a town.
# More likely this is a play on Amarillo, the Spanish word for Yellow.
# Brillo is a brand name for a steel-wool type soap pad for washing dishes.
# "Flamin out along her head" helps us to realize that he is metaphorically
# desribing this woman's brittle, wiry, blond hair.

Flamin' out along her head,
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Mendocino is a town in southern california. Beans are popular food, but
# bean (or beano) can also refer to a hat or one's head. I believe the
# opening verse describes her head in all it's glory. (right where some bugs
# had made it red).
# Please don't try to read deep meaning into these words, a lot of it is
# nonsense.

She ruled the Toads
of the Short Forest
^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# One of the instrumental songs on Weasels Ripped My Flesh is called Toads
# of the Short Forest. I'm not sure where there are other references to this.

She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The doll with a pin is a reference to voodoo. In this black macickal
# practice of the caribbean, often a doll is made that represents a human
# being (I think it is necessary to have a piece of the persons hair or
# clothing). Sticking pins into this doll would supposedly cause great pain
# to befall the person. There's no doubt that Frank was referring to this
# among all her other witchcraft type mumbo jumbo.

And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
^^^^^^^^
# From: mccl...@agcs.com (John McCluer)
# In the '70's quadraphonic (four-channel) Stereo was supposed to be
# the next big thing. It never caught on.
#

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Quadrophonic. (Left, right, back, forth.. :-) )

#
# From: jmi...@terra.colostate.edu (Jeff Miller)

# For awhile in the '70s it was the "in thing" to have a quadraphonic (4
# speaker) stereo system. This was poorly implemented, and until wasn't until
# the recent advent of Surround sound systems that four speaker ("four-way")
# stereos were respected.
#
# From: v...@dorado.hit.bme.hu (Varga Gyorgy)
# I think the four-way stereo has nothing to do with quadro systems.
# Actually there are 3-way systems, in which you have 3 speakers on the
# two sides, one for the lower, one for the middle and one for the higher
# frequencies. So in a 4-way system there are 4 speakers on each side.

(Is that a real poncho...I mean
Is that a Mexican poncho
or is that a Sears poncho?
Hmmm...no foolin' ...)

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# This rancid poncho of dubious origin Camarillo-Brillo-Magic-Mama
# ( been un-concho no doubt :-) bequeathed generously to APOSTROPHE
# Cosmic-Debris-Mistery Man ( who later in his turn been un-concho :-)
# OBAGANZA! Does Humour Belong In Music? joined the navy.
#

Dirty Love
~~~~~~~~~~

Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do
^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Shit there's way more than that. Check out Babette from YCDTOSA 1.
# The "poodle" rap from many live performances. I forget exactly which Stage
# Volume has a version of this.
# "The woo-man looked at the poodle with lust in her heart"
# And that's phydeaux.
# Little known cc: during the guitar solo for "Nanook rubs it" you can hear
# a very faint voice calling "here phydeaux" twice.

I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Little-bo-peep is a nursery rhyme. She had some sheep.
# Frank is down playing the education of the person he wishes to make
# "dirty-love" to.

THE POODLE BITES!
(Come on, Frenchie)
THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
(Snap it!)

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# Funny, but that glorious Phydeaux of (') here just one year before
# appeared only as a humble little Frenchie.
#
# From: Chris J. Ullsperger <ulls...@mendel.berkeley.edu>
# Don't forget:
# (Not a speck of cereal!)
# and
# (Nothin' but the best for my puppy!)
# and, in the fadeout something like
# (cute little dog! furry little head!)
#
# The first lines refer, I think, to dog food commercials. The "not a speck
# of cereal" line implies a bowl licked perfectly clean, or describes a
# brand of dog food that is pure meat.
# I guess you can pick and choose from those options. The image in my mind,
# of course, is that the poodle is going to town on the twat of the mother
# of the woman to whom the song is being sung.
#
# From: Jack Fleming <JackF...@aol.com>
# "Not a speck of cereal" is a phrase from dog food advertising, meaning that
# it is all meat. Cereal (derived from grains) is often added during the
# manufacturing of dog food to reduce the cost. I have never heard this
# phrase used to mean "a bowl licked clean".
#

# From: s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)

# and, in the fadeout something like
# (cute little dog! furry little head!)
# No no, it's:
# Little paws sticking up!
# Little curly hairs!
#

Zomby Woof
~~~~~~~~~~

Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
^^^^^
# From: mccl...@agcs.com (John McCluer)
# Sort of hipster lingo for All-Right!

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Pure nonsense. Allreety, allrighty. Some people do actually say
# "allrighty". I have to suppress a giggle every time they do.
# But recall the song Cleetus Awreetus Awrightus from Grand Wazoo (or is it
# Waka Jawaka?)
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Grand Wazoo.

Reety-awrighty, he da ZOMBY WOOF
^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Wolf. This would make it a Werewolf.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Woof is the sound that a dog makes. Zomby Woof is about a Zomby/WereWolf.

I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot is bigger than my other one is

#CC
# Form: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# For relation of resulting physical unsteadiness to mental disorder and
# instability check Dancing Fool of Sheik Yerbouti :-)))
#

# From: s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)

# Could this possibly have something to do with Frank himself? As we all know,
# when he fell off the stage in 1971, and spent some time in a wheelchair, his
# legs turned out to be not evenly long. (One of my legs is shorter than the
# other and both of my feet 's too long... this is the more obvious one. Why,
# in case with the Zomby Woof, his right FOOT is bigger than the other one is
# the tricky bit. Maybe just because it sounds better (toof, foot, hoof,
# woof ???).
# Who do tell?

I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# I think it's one of those guys our parents wanted us to be afraid of. In
# germany, it was "Der Schwarze Mann" (The Black Man, pretty racistic, huh?).

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Boogie Man is a classic spooky thing from Childhood. No one is sure
# exactly what one is or how it originated. Could be a Monster, could be a
# murderer.
# The recently made a pathetic horror film called The Boogie Man, but it
# was just stupid.

Dinah-Moe Humm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Play on words:
# Dynamo is an electric generator. When working they make a humming sound.
# Dinah is a woman's name.
# Dinah Moe Humm is a reference to Dinah's Moaning and Humming when she has
# an orgasm.

Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)
^^^^^^^
# From: je...@MicroUnity.com (Jerry Kreuscher)
#
# An earlier use of the term in American English was for the body lice
# common to soldiers in the trenches in France during The Great War.
# There used to be, perhaps there still is, a fraternal order of WWI
# veterans who called themselves "Cooties".
#
# From: hac...@storm.cs.orst.edu (Dianne Hackborn)
# Maybe this is a purely American phenomenon, but I assume it's a reference
# to that grade-school playground scourge which Members Of The Opposite Sex
# always seemed to have.
# You know, "Mary's got cooties, ewwwwww!! Watch out, she'll touch you and
# give them to you!!!"
#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)
# Cooties. The mythical insect that terrorizes small North American children.
# "I don't want to sit by her, she has cooties!"
# "Nya nya, you have cooties!"
# Of course, the line in Dyna-Moe Humm alludes to other little bugs...
#

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# I recall a toddler's game in the 1960's (maybe it's still around) called
# "Cootie". The object was to accumulate the pieces to assemble a large,
# plastic insect, resembling an ant. I don't know if the term preceded the
# game or vice-versa. I assume it was the former, thus "cootie" has been
# used for a long time to refer to any non-specific bug.

Kiss my aura...Dora...
^^^^ ^^^^^
M-M-M...it's real angora
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Angora might refer to wool, but more likely to marijuana or hashish.
#
# From: Jack Fleming <JackF...@aol.com>
# Angora is a special kind of wool (I can't remember if it comes from sheep
# or llamas). It is very soft and expensive. During the sixties, Angora
# sweaters were status symbols among females.
#

MMM, sure...listen
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Please, don't confuse this gentle tool with heavy duty gear for pickin'
# up full-blown Dental Floss of _Montana_ :-))

Montana
~~~~~~~

I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# .... - threads of floss silk etc. used to clean between teeth.
# The Oxford Concise Dict. of Current English

An' it'd be on top (that's why I'M movin' to Montana)

Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# On the somewhere mentioned video "A Token Of His Extreme", Zappa adds
# "I wonder what that means" to this line... :-)

#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>

# In English, it's called a "spoonerism" when you mix up consonants in a
# group of words, either consiously or unconsciously.
#
# From: mani...@aol.com (ManiaMan)
# The "mennil" is a Bald-headed John way of saying Dental.
# The "toss flycoon" is a "Spoonerised" version of Floss Tycoon. A
# spoonerism is group of words whose initial consonants have been
# transposed.
# In the book, Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary by Miles. Omnibus
# Press ISBN 0-7119-3099-6
# Zappa is quoted on page 60 concerning the writing of Montana.
# " Sometimes I show the lyrics to my wife,or after a while I'll get
# her to read them to me so I can see what the sounds are like, because
# part of the texts are put together phonetically as well as what the
# information is supposed to be. I change the lyrics all the time. A
# lot of them get changed by accident. Somebody will read them wrong
# and it'll sound so funny I'll leave it wrong.
# (Zappa:1974)
# This sounds to me like a reference to "mennil-toss flykune"

Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the Dennil Floss Bush
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Dental! Like Teeth.
# Frank is implying that it grows on bushes. This is surrealism.

APOSTROPHE(')
=============

Notes & Comments
ver.24-Dec-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
Rich Kulawiec (r...@ecn.purdue.edu)

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)
#

# The opening songs/medley are a dream. "Dreamed I was an eskimo"
# Frank dreams he is Nanook of the north who goes out against his mother's
# wishes, yet heeds her plea to "watch out where the huskies go and don't you
# eat that yellow snow". He encounters an evil fur trapper who is attacking
# his favorite baby seal and does battle with him. He actually picks up the
# deadly yellow snow and rubs it in the fur trapper's eyes. The blindness
# can only be cured at the parish of St. Alphonso, which is actually a
# pancake breakfast (This is a dream, remember?). This leads into a tune
# about Father O'blivion, presumably leader of this flock of devotees to St.
# Alphonso and pancakes.

Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
^^^^^^

# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>
#

# "NANOOK OF THE NORTH" (1922, silent, B&W, documentary by
# Robert J. Flaherty)
# This early documentary about Eskimo life in the Hudson's Bay region
# of Northern Quebec provided one of the first glimpses of Eskimo life
# available for mass consumption.(Remember, there was no TV then).
# Because of the film, the name NANOOK became the archetypal name used
# when referring to an Eskimo. (They are now called INUIT)

"Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow"
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# The other day my co-worker ( not FZ fan but real fur-trapper :-)
# whome I tricked to hear ' ( I've just named his host husky :-)))
# explained me why the snow is so yellow there. 'Cose they all he said
# grining knowingly piss on it day and night folks and dogs. Heh.

Nanook Rubs It
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow
crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous
circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined
to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology
^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Fantastic creature first brought to the light in FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
#

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# I believe the mudshark story is based in fact: (from memory, so please
# correct me). Members of Led Zeppelin were fishing from a hotel
# balcony in Seattle. One of them caught a mudshark, a very ugly fish,
# and proceeded to perform unspeakable acts involving the mudshark and
# a female groupie. Hence, a legend is born.....
#
# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)
# It was the Vanilla Fudge, (remember them) who had taken part in
# the infamous Mudshark rituals at the Edgewater Inn in Seattle Washington.
# Supposedly they even made a film of this event, and Frank may have viewed
# the film. He thought it was such a bizarre event in rock and roll folklore
# (it's so perverted) that he wrote a nice song about it.
#
# From: fm...@rummelplatz.uni-mannheim.de (Oliver Klimek)
# "Nanook" was also released on "Baby Snakes". The lyrics are included. There
# it says: "...destined to take the place of the mudshark in _rheumatology_"
# This sounds ok if you think of the treatment of rheumatism with bathes in
# specially prepared mud.

Great Googly Moogly!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: fm...@rummelplatz.uni-mannheim.de (Oliver Klimek)
# Same as "Muthermarynjozuf"

St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# It's quite common, in the U.S. anyway, for churches to serve
# pancake breakfasts as fund-raisers. I believe that's the connection.

As she abused the sausage pattie

^^^^^^
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>

# A "Pattie" is a flat, disc-shaped object, generally food. Something
# like a flat hockey puck. A "sausage pattie" is sausage meat
# pressed into pattie shape and fried.
#

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# A "patty" of ground sausage (meat), resembling a hamburger.
#
# From: bh...@harris.com (Brian Hyde)
# Sausage patties are a breakfast food in the USA. A sausage
# roll is cut into disk-shaped pieces and fried in a skillet.
# (Not recommended for a low-cholesterol diet!) :)

Father O'Blivion
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dominus vobiscum
Et cum spiritu tuo

# From: fr...@etecnw.com (Frank Mathew x 7271)
# simply means "The Lord be with you, and with your spirit" as statement
# and reply. It's an oft-repeated part of the Roman Catholic Mass in Latin,
# sort of a farewell at the end. Any Catholic from FZ's era would have this
# permanently embedded in his or her memory.

Cosmik Debris

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# From Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# There are an amazing similarity of details ( see below ) in FZ depiction of
# the Mystery Man and the Magic Mama from Camarillo Brillo OVERNITE song.
# I guess it's nothing else but Frank's conceptual continuity.

# Here

But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Aphrodite, and the dust of the Grand Wazoo

# In Camarillo Brillo it goes like that
#
# She ruled the Toads
# of the Short Forest

# Here
#
And I said "Look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
#
# In Camarillo Brillo it goes like that
#
#
# (Is that a real poncho...I mean
# Is that a Mexican poncho
# or is that a Sears poncho?
# Hmmm...no foolin' ...)

OM SHANTI
^^^^^^^

# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)

# The word is ``shanti'' and means peace (in Sanskrit, I think).

Excentrifugal Forz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's always Korla Plankton . . .
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Him an' me can play the blues
An' then I'll watch him buff
That tiny ruby that he use

He'll straighten up his turban
An' eject a little ooze
Along a one-celled Hammond organ-ism
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Underneath my shoes

# onthe...@aol.com (OnTheCornr)
# With the current vogue for "incredibly strange music" of the '50s and
# '60s, I've started seeing TONS of these old lounge music records at record
# conventions over the last year or two. That's how I learned about a
# turban-wearing organ player named Korla Pandit, who I suddenly realized is
# referred to in "Excentrifugal Forz" as Korla Plankton. The reference
# to his turban (I don't remember if he wore a ruby in it) and his "Hammond
# organism"...it's all there! Dunno if Frank ever really "played the blues"
# with this character, though.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Date: Tue, 31 Oct 95 14:36:46 GMT
# Not long ago, there was a brief thread in which some very ingenious
# and knowledgable person had figured out that "Korla Plankton" from
# Excentrifugal Forz was a reference to an obscure musican named Korla
# Pandit. The "tiny ruby," "turban" and "one-celled Hammond organism" were
# taken to be clues.
# I thought at the time, "I've heard that name before," but I couldn't place
# it. I collect old-time radio shows, from the 30s thru the 50s, and I have
# about a dozen episodes of Chandu The Magician, from 1949. I pulled one to
# listen to last night, while working out; and at the end, the announcer
# intoned: "Music by...Korla Pandit."
# Zap. Chandu the Magician takes place mostly in the Sahara desert. The
# music on this series is performed by two people - you got it, the lead
# instrument is a Hammond organ, playing the most cliche'd "Arabian" motifs
# you can imagine, with a sort of somber hand-drum drum accompaniment.(No
# bongo fury here.)
# This is the first time I can remember my two main hobbies dovetailing in
# this way. Makes me think that conceptual continuity extends beyond the
# boundaries of Frank's own work.

And then I'll call Pup Tentacle
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# So I put the big question to you here WHO IS THIS GUY with hurted
# chin? Obviously it should be another player of oriental stuff. Look,

Because that's where he's been

His little feet got long 'n flexible
An' suckers fell right in
The time he crossed the line
From *Later On* to *Way Back When*
^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# It SHOULD be songs of Pup T. 'coze they put in italic in printed
# lyrics! Book him, Dan-o!-)

Uncle Remus
~~~~~~~~~~~
# From: Jack Fleming <JackF...@aol.com>
# Uncle Remus is a character created by Joel Chandler Harris in a collection
# of stories that was first published in 1880. They also appeared in the
# Disney movie "Song of the South".

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Uncle Remus is the only song that's really about anything. It's basically
# an anthem for the early 70's negro. It expresses a resigned frustration.
# Basically, just trying to get your fair share yet having to deal with such
# injustices as being hosed down (presumably during riots.) The only way
# they can get back at white society is to go to "Beverly Hills, just before
# dawn and knock the little jokeys off the rich people's lawns." It was (and
# may still be) common for rich people to have a ceramic negro jockey on
# their lawn. Gnomes are also common.

I can't wait til mah 'fro is full grown
^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# An "Afro" (or "'fro") was a huge head of hair, popular among African-
# Americans in the 1970s.
#
# From: ha...@dweezil.music.mcgill.ca (Hank Knox)
# Short for 'afro'; what you get if you're black and you let your hair grow
# out. Check out any number of movies from the '70s (Superfly, stuff like
# that) to get an idea what a 'fro looks like. If you're as old as me, think
# back on that wretched TV show, 'The Mod Squad'; one of those guys had a 'fro.
# (Or how about that Buddy Miles album cover, with Buddy's 'fro glowing in a
# sort of electric aroma?)
#

I'll just through in my doo-rag at home
^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# A "doo-rag" is, well, a rag for your hair-do.
# It's usually a bandana tied around one's skull. Sam Kinison often
# wore a doo-rag.
#
# From: ha...@dweezil.music.mcgill.ca (Hank Knox)
# It's probably 'throw'... And someone else can flesh out the 'doo-rag'
# reference; my guess it has to something to do with the process of
# straightening out naturally kinky hair into some kind of straight,
# kind-of-white-person's hair-do.
#
# From: bjber...@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Brian J. Bernstein)
# No, a doo-rag (or however you care to spell it) is basically some kind of
# cloth or such used to cover / hold together / manage? your hair.. Many
# people when trying to grow their hair out will wear one of these.. I wore a
# bandanna for several months while growing my hair out..
# btw.. I think it's "I'll just throw away my doo-rag at home..."

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Correct.....actually, it's "I'll just throw 'way my doo-rag...." That's
# a little nod towards black "dialect."
#
# From: gcr...@sage.cc.purdue.edu (DeLoach)
# I always thought a doo-rag was like a bandana wrapped on yer head (as in
# hairdo-rag). I come from a very sanitized upbringing however and all
# my cultural input is from TV...(so it must be true).

I'll take a drive to
Beverly Hills
Just before dawn
And knock the little jockeys
Off the rich peoples lawn

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# Lawn jockeys (which are usually cast iron, not ceramic) still exist, but
# they've all been whitewashed.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# This could stand a little further explanation. I believe that cast-iron
# figures such as these were originally _hitching posts for horses_, back in
# the 19th Century. I don't know that they originated in the American South,
# but the plantation culture of the South at that time permitted the
# landowners to live in a fairly wealthy genteel manner, in large houses. It
# had to be much classier for the owners to provide decorative hitching posts
# for horses, their own or visitors', as opposed to the rickety wooden
# hitching posts found outside merchants' shops or common peoples' dwellings.
# And, because we're talking about a culture dependent on slavery, then
# naturally the figure would represent something they knew: the Negro
# servant who took the reins of the horse when the master finished his ride.
# As to the jockey's dress: it was also common in the South for black slaves
# (and later, servants) to be the horse handlers, and to serve as jockeys in
# the informal horse races of the time, and later in the more formal races.
# Obviously, these items continued as decorative figures around the old manor
# houses long after they ceased serving as hitching posts, until finally they
# became simply yard decorations used by anyone of any class who wanted to
# spiff up their homesteads. In this sense, they are much the same as pink
# flamingos. But because they're black caricatures, they are commonly
# considered to be offensive and unacceptable now. (Note: the collecting of
# black-caricature figures such as these has become a hobby among some
# well-heeled or notable black people nowadays, such as Whoopi Goldberg.)

Stink-Foot
~~~~~~~~~~

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Stink Foot is about the evil condition of bromodrosis and it's assorted
# difficulties. It has a talking dog in it who waxes philosophical.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# By the time of the 1979 London performance heard on YCDTOSA V. 1, Frank
# had changed the word to the more accurate "podobromidrosis." From Black's
# Medical Dictionary, 1990 edition: "Bromidrosis [correct spelling]: the
# excretion of evil-smelling perspiration." The "podo-" prefix is from the
# Greek "pod-", meaning foot. (Only a British dictionary would describe
# something as "evil-smelling.")
#
# From: Valdimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# And a couple of words about what was the source of inspiration
#
# " There is one [song] inspired by Mennen foot spray commercial where
# the god keels over after the guy takes his shoes off. Do you know
# how hard to write a song about something like that?"
# (Zappa: November 1973)
# Miles. Frank Zappa. A Visual Documentary. p.62 )

Here Fido, Fido,
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# "Fido", as it's usually spelled, is a traditional (American) name for a
# dog. Many of Frank's poodles have been named Fido (those poodles being
# figurative poodles, not flesh-and-blood poodles). I guess he felt "Phydeux"
# was a more regal spelling.....
#
# From: sro...@wv.mentorg.com (Sam Rouse)
# I think Phydeaux was the name of Frank's tour bus(es) for a number of years.
# The first time I saw him (Portland OR Paramount, probably sometime in 1976)
# the tour bus behind the hall was painted to look just like a Greyhound bus,
# but the word "Greyhound" that normally occupies the entire side of the bus
# was replaced with "Phydeaux" (same lettering style), and the sleek greyhound
# logo picture was replaced with a dorky-looking, crosseyed dog saying "Arf!".
# I don't know whether Phydeaux 3 refers to the third incarnation of the bus,
# or the third in the fleet that may have been in existence by the time of JG.
# Tour busses I've seen at subsequent tours didn't have the FZ graphics, but
# I guess the name stuck.
#
#CC

# From: ep...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Steve Roche)

# In the cityscape on the back cover of the Absolutely Free lp is a sign
# showing a dog collar and the caption 'BUY A FYDO fits swell'.
#
# From: cba...@vaxa.strath.ac.uk
#
# Date: Thu, 26 May 94 18:48:21 GMT
# Wooooo, it's me again. I found this in last Sunday's Observer newspaper.
# All spelling mistakes are mine.
#
# Martin Wroe reports on a 20-year study to determine the greatest artist of
# the century - of course it's Frank Zappa
#
# THE POLITICS OF POODLE ROCK
#
# .................................
# Zappa briefly owned a poodle and said: "Poodles give continuity to my
# albums, it's like brown in Rembrandt." Mr Watson, who began the book
# 20-years ago as an English student at Cambridge, takes him at his word.
#
# .................................
# In fact Mr Watson had been "doing this" since studying Plato's The Phaedo
# and started to feel he was going mad. Many of the allusions and ideas his
# professor expounded from the canon of great literature, seemed to ring true
# in the work of Zappa: "Inexplicable coincidences kept happening, although my
# lecturer had never heard of Zappa." For example, Zappa had made an entire
# record called Phaedo.
#
# "Fido is also the common name we give to dogs, which also means
#`'I believe' in Latin" adds Mr Watson.

mpt, mpt, mpt, come here little puppy
Bring the slippers
Arf, arf, arf
(C-R-A-S-H)

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Actually, this noise is the sound of a gigantic slobber: Fido is
# throwing up all over the slippers - maybe even dying over them. Followed
# by:

Huhm, HAH, HAH, HAH...sick!

This is the dog talkin' now
"What is your, conceptual continuity?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: cle...@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)
# "Conceptual continuity" as far as I know it refers to the way in which
# something (e.g. a TV program) remains consistent throughout episodes/releases/
# whatever. E.g. if The Enterprise's engines act some way in one episode of
# Star Trek, they should also work that way in following episodes.

"Well I told 'em right then", Fido said
"It should be easy to see
"The crux of the biscuit
is the apostrophe"
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# People discussed at length the significance of "apostrophe" and the "crux
# of the biscuit". It seems obvious, but no one mentioned that the monologue
# by phydeaux goes something like:
#
# It isn't, and it doesn't }\
# I won't and it don't } - What do all these words have in common?
# ...
# It even ain't }/
#
# I told him no no no
# He told me yes yes yes
#
# I do it all the time
# Ain't this boogie a mess?
#
# The answer my friend should be easy to see
# The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe

The poodle bites, the poodle chews it

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Here we are. Good and obvious example of FZ CCC :-)))
# This lines of Fido identical to the Frenchie's from
# OVERNITE _Dirty Love_.

ONE SIZE FITS ALL
=================

Notes & Comments
ver.25-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics from LP cover
and
the excerpt from _Filmore East_ Bwana Dik
from
j...@paris.cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Just a little bit of OSFA rap :-)))))
#
# Two of most respected members of a.f.f.-z. community
# s042...@let.rug.nl (R. Bartelink)
# and
# rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)
# testified one day under the oath that there are exist strong and
# undisputed evidences that the guy mentioned among 'those who play this'
# as
# Bloodshot Rollin' Red - harmonica when present
# was in fact our dear old buddy Captain Beefheart.

Inca Roads
~~~~~~~~~~~

Did a booger-bear
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# I believe "Inca Roads" refers to the ancient ruins in South America
# that many people speculate were landing sites for aliens (booger
# bears) from outer space. Thus, these were spaces made by the Indians
# (first to the bill, carving up the hills), for Chester's things to
# land.....

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The "Booger-Bear award" was presented nightly to the member of the band or
# crew who managed to score with the ugliest groupie. Perellis won it
# frequently. That's the same Perellis with a "fondness for certain members
# of the canine species"
#
# From: aa...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (David Millman)
# Have you ever noticed that the lyrics to Inca Roads start off fantastically,
# but that then Frank seemed to lose it and trailed off into guacamole,
# armadillo, and booger-bear?
# Frank noticed this, and that's why the vocals in the song become incoherent
# at the beginning of the bad part, around the 'indians first on the bill'
# bit.

Guacamole Queen
^^^^^^^^^

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The Guacamole Queen was a taco stand of sorts. It's folkloric significance
# will have to be left to the more knowledgable participants of this forum.

At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Recordings prior to their show at the Armadillo in Austin Texas do not
# contain the lyric:
# Did a Booger-Bear come from out there just land on Perellis
# Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen
# At the Armadillo in Austin Texas.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# And it doesn't leave that stale aftertaste....
#
# "....Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen
# At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura..."
#
# The woman made GREAT big chocolate chip cookies, and nachos that were a
# meal in themselves...and Frank knew it, too, having scarfed down his share.
# Oh, just remembered this: (approximate)
# "...and everybody be sure and stop by the food bar in the back, and get
# yourself some Armadillo cookies _(big smile here)_ and some Armadillo
# nachos....and if you'll just blow your smoke _that_ way, we'll all have a
# good time..."
# -FZ, Austin 1977

Can't Afford No Shoes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation got my load
^^^^^^

# From: db...@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Phillip A. Freshour)

# "Emergent nation" -- a third world country emerging onto the world
# scene, economically or militarily. I can't explain the connection to
# a trip to the market for some detergent....

#
# From: "Tony Pfarrer" <TO...@UMS1.Lan.McGill.CA>

# I have always taken those two lines to depict the following
# simple scene:
# While at the laundromat, our hero goes to the back of the premises to
# buy some cheap detergent from the detergent-dispensing machine after
# stowing his laundry in an empty washer. While he's busy pumping
# coins into the detergent dispenser, a disdvantaged member of an
# emerging third-world country deftly steals the clothes. End of scene.

Evelyn, A Modified Dog
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cusious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the Steinway (or even from within)"

#CC
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Is there somebody in the piano? (See Lumpy Gravy, Civilization Phase III)
# Evelyn seems to think so:
#
# "Evelyn [...]
# Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
# In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
# And other highly ambient domains..."

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This entire song is a reference to the Lumpy Gravy recording sessions. For
# the un or half-informed: In the Lumpy Gravy sessions numerous people were
# closely gathered around a grand piano to speak on many subjects of
# significance and insignificance. At the same time a large weight was set
# on the piano's sustain pedal so that it was always depressed. This has the
# effect of setting up a very spacey and ambient resonance as the piano
# strings vibrate sympathetically with the sound waves created by the persons
# speaking. Since all of the strings of the piano are vibrating, the musical
# effect can be referred to as pan-chromatic (that is, all chromatic tones
# are heard). Another musical use of pan-<music-word> is "Pan-Diatonicism".
# This is what you'd get if you went and slammed your forearms across only
# the white keys of the piano - one could say that the noise that came out
# was "Pan-Diatonic".

Florentine Pogen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#from a.f.f-z FAQ 1/8
#
# From: lis...@sics.se (Bjorn Lisper)
# "Pogens" is an anglified spelling of the Swedish bakery "Pagens"
# (where the "a" has a ring on top). "Pagens" is south Swedish dialect
# and means "the boy's" (cookies, say). In Sweden, Pagens makes all
# sorts of cookies, bread etc. It turns out that these Florentine
# Pogens being sold in California are a type of cookie that Pagens
# sells in Sweden, but under a different name. So Pagens seems to have
# some business in California as well.
#

# From: Don White <whi...@hccs.cc.tx.us>

# It's a cookie. My mom went to the store one time (this was in 1979), and
# came back bags of groceries. She had not known what she had done when she
# bought the package of Pogens, but I roared in amazement and delight at the
# sight. She though I was nuts. The company that made Pogens made other
# kinds as well, 'though I couldn't tell you now what they were.
# Chocolate Pogens? Mallomar Pogens? Pecan Pogens?

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

She was a debutante daisy
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A debutante is basically a young rich girl. Daisy is a flower but it is
# also expresses naivete'
#
# From: kbul...@acpub.duke.edu (Kenneth Bullock)
# I read it as meaning that the song's heroine is the daughter of a wealthy
# cookie magnate. The song is probably a caricature of "rich kids" in
# general, especially those who are a bit daffy but think they're really cool.

With color-note organ
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)
# Just a type of electronic organ (the type that you can play, not some
# sort of prosthetic device). The name comes from the technique used to
# create the different pitches.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This is a really good one. In the 70's there was a bit of a market for
# electric home-organs (pianos! get your mind out of the gutter). In order
# to aid small children in learning how to play, the keys (notes) were
# colored and the instructional scores were colored correspondingly.
# These two lines just express that she was somewhat of an airhead with no
# real talents other than being rich. Look at how she handles car problems
# later in the song.
#
# From: mpc@mbsmm (Mark Clements)
# A color-note organ is one in which the various notes of the scale
# are represented by different colors. Above each key on the organ,
# the corresponding color is painted, so a musically inept person can
# just press the colored key corresponding to the colored note in the
# music.

She didnt't wanna stay home
An'watch the pestele go mortar
Later she speakes
On how Perellis might court her.
^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Interesting to note that this wasn't something new to the band
# FILLMORE EAST, JUNE 1971
# Bwana Dik
# ----------
# My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...
# Why did'nt you tell me before?
# It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,
# but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...
# I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...
#
# From: wil...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net
# I just noticed that on the cover of Overnite Sensation, there is a fire
# extiguisher looking DEVICe that has the word Perrelis on it..
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca (Charles Ulrich)
# Marty Perellis was the road manager. There are references all over. See
# especially "Babbette" on YCDTOSA, Volume 1, and "Smell My Beard" on Volume
# 4.

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Not to mention the intro to Dickie's Such an Asshole on Stage Vol 3,
# where the Mothers are brought back to the stage by the selfsame Marty
# Perellis.

Chester's go-rilla

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This was writen in album liner notes
# Chester Thompson -drums; gorilla victim

#
# From: ca...@brahms.udel.edu (Catherine M Leonard)

# but signed Glenn
# Chester was attacked by a roadie in a gorilla suit at the end of
# Florentine Pogen during the taping of the KCET-TV show. This event may
# actually be in reference to something that happened to him for real.
# Booger Bears? Gorilla Groupies? One can only guess....

#
# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# I thought it was the latter: an editorial comment about someone he spent
# one night with.

San Ber'dino
~~~~~~~~~~~~

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)
# A Winnebago is a brand name for a type of motor home or recreational
# vehicle (RV), a sort of small home on wheels that is not uncommon in the
# USA. I don't know if they still make Winnebagos...

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A winnebago is the most popular brand of mobile home.
# There are two kinds - those with their own engine and those that are
# hooked up to a pick up truck (a trailer). There is a bizarre type of
# community called a trailer park where many of these trailers are
# semipermanently set up as small cheap housing.

#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>

# Often referred to in some mythologies as "twister-bait".
#
# From: mpc@mbsmm (Mark Clements)
# Winnebago is a company that makes mobile-homes, usually purchased by
# retired folks who then travel the country in search of geriatric
# adventure. Mobile homes are also put up on blocks (making them
# decidedly non-mobile) and used as permanent housing by many people in
# the lower economic strata.

She's in love with the boy
From the rodeo
who pulls the rope on the chute
^^^^^
when they let those suckers go

# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# The chute is the narrow fenced in exit, sort of an airlock so the critter
# (wild horse, bull) is moved from main coral into chute and is pressed tight
# front and back (by the fence doors) and side to side, so that the idiot
# cowpoke can get on the critter's back, then someone pulls the rope opening
#up the front gate and the suckers are let go into the main arena.

His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

#CCC

# From Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This _Call Any Vegetable_ guy was later many times mentioned by
# Capt. Beefheart in BONGO FURY _Advanced Romance_ song

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# The lines before are important: He got slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
# They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino
# This is a song about being in jail, specifically the San Bernardino County
# Jail (San B is the "county seat" of the county where Lancaster, California.
# When Zappa was arrested on porno charges and pleaded guilty to this
# entrapment, he was given six months with all but 10 days suspended. He
# served the 10 days in San B jail. He was in *TANK C*
# While awaiting trial he was in Lancaster City Jail which had been
# comfortable with pancakes every morning. In contrast San B was appalling
# (most of this is quoted from Poodle Play book which quotes from the Real FZ
# book): one shower for 44 men, cockroaches in the food, 140 degrees of heat,
# lights left on all night,"They got some dark green air and you can choke all
# day.
# Bobby with the potato head was echoed later in the closing lines of Advance
# Romance (Bongo Fury) and of course in the ppotatoe headed Mammy Nuns
# of Thingfish. Thus the potatoe head is developed as a sympbol of the
# government inflicting citizens with incarceration and experimentation (if
# you believe that Thingfish is a story of how the US Government caused AIDS
# to control undesireables).
# Back to the general meaning Of Tank. There is the obvious tank as in fish
# tank, a vessel for water. Gas tank Water tank. All wet places. In the most
# benign jail sense tank is a place for drunks to go overnight to sober up:
# The Drunk Tank. It is low security and holds alot just like a fish tank. In
# fact the word tank is a verb also. To tank up means to fill up a tank. Tank
# up on gasoline. Tank up (on bier). But to "get tanked" means to get drunk.
# But tank is a dry hot place also. Of course the military armored vehicle,
# roasting its occupants is a tank. In WWII, the small metal boxes for
# solitary confinement and baking in the sun were "the tank." So the "Tank"
# also refers to the entire jail or prison or in the extreme specific meaning
# (the exact opposite of a wet, open, crowded jail, it can refer to the most
# secure, solitary confinement cell.
# In the song, Bobby gets drunk (at the Palomino, the name of a type of horse,
# but here most likely referring to a bar/tavern/pub in Lancaster) and is
# sentenced to 30 days in the drunk tank, with 44 other men. There's only one
# shower but it don't apply to Bobby suggests that because of his stupid love
# for "her" he does not participate in the shower games (drop the soap) of the
# male inmates (i.e. anal sex).
# The joke of the song is that after getting out of jail Bobby and his girl
# stay in the town in a trailer park- in a metal mobile house parked in the
# hot desert sun. So he's still in jail and still has a potato head.

Andy
~~~~

Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# A thong rind, according to FZ, is that callous that builds up when one
# wears sandels of the thong variety. I guess Andy Devine must have had
# one. But other folks have said this song is about Todd Rundgren. And
# no, I don't think Dean Martin had anything to do with it.

Sofa #2
~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# This is Flo'n'Eddie epoch song. And it was performed as early as
# 1970. In those ancient days Sofa was part #1 of the long story ( more
# than 20 minutes on Swiss Cheese bootleg ) about Genesis. FZ version
# of world creation of course. The part #2 ( depictin' 7th day of Creation
# it seems :-) was Stick It Out later innocently incorporated into Joe's
# Garage.
# Below is a transcription from
# You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, volume I.
# Track: Once Upon A Time, recorded December 10, 1971, Rainbow Theater,
# London, England.
# which really helps to dig the meaning not only of the song's language
# but also of one tiny but cool maroon detail on the front cover of OSFA
# LP/CD :-)).
#
# From: ha...@jasper.music.mcgill.ca (Hank Knox)
# "Way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more
# elaborate than Mark Volman trying to convince each and every member of this
# extremely hip audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less
# than a fat, maroonisch sofa suspended in the midst of a great emptiness,
# a light shined down from heaven... And there he was, ladies and gentleman,
# the Good Lord. And he took a look at the sofa, and he said to himself,
# 'Quite an attractive sofa... This sofa could be commercial, with a few more
# margharitas in the right company... However, I digress... What this sofa
# needs', said the Big G, 'is a bit of flooring underneath of it.' And so,
# in order to make this construction project possible, he summoned the
# assistance of the celestial corps of engineers. And, by means of a cute
# little song in the German language, which is the way he talks whenever it's
# heavy business, the Good Lord went something like this (take it away, Jim
# Pons):
# Gib zu mir, etc..."
#
# For an explanation of other OSFA front cover tokens is very helpful
# Swiss Cheese version with long and proud name
#
# Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat Floating Sofa
#
# From: j...@paris.cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)
#
# Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab (Means: A light shines down from Heaven.
# Kometen und alle rasenden Trümmer Comets and all rushing wreckages
# Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ?????? Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
# Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren Are trembling at the arrival
# of the Lord )
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical patina
# At the right hand of God big sofa
# The Lord put aside his huge cigar
#
# And concidered it was time now
# to entertain himself

I am the author of all tucks & damask piping
I am The Chrome Dinette
I am The Chrome Dinette

# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Chrom-dinett = Chrome Dinette (Set) a post-war-50's table and chair set
# for meals. A dinette, usually an alcove off the kitchen, or a space carved
# out of a kitchen, or a 'small' dining room, would hold, usually, a Dinette
# Set, it could also be used as the kitchen table, my mom did. The times and
# fashions what they were, there was lots of chrome, legs and molding around
# the table.
#
#CC or One More Time For The World :-)))))
#
# And here is it
# (SWISS CHEESE/FIRE 20 MIN. SOFA)
#
# The Joined International Transcribing Effort Of
# Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
# Gordon...@f113.n267.z1.fidonet.org (Gordon Keeble)
#
#
#If the 8-bit transmission is incorrect:
#
#letter Name spelling
#-----------------------------
#ß "Esszett" sz
#ä a-Umlaut ae
#Ä A-Umlaut Ae
#ü u-Umlaut ue
#Ü U-Umlaut Ue
#ö o-Umlaut oe
#Ö O-Umlaut Oe
#
#
# Give Me Some Floor Covering Under This Fat Floating Sofa
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#
# This a piece for those in the audience
# who happen to speak german.
# If you do happen to speak german
# after this piece you'll probably regret it
#
# One,two,three
#
# Once upon a time
# Way back a long time ago
# When the universe consisted
# Of nothing more elaborate
# than Mark Maroon
#
# Oh, thank you Frank.
#
# Hiya, friends!
# What a life?
# I can't begin to tell you
# I mean.. today as I was walking here
# Just like every place else I go
# People walk up to me and they go:
# Mark, Mark, Mark
# Bark, bark bark
#
# I hear a little dog
#
# Mark,
# Are you kidding?
# And all I can say back to them is friends,
# Friends, I am not kidding
# I feel great.
# I mean I'm portly
# And I'm maroon
#
# What else could you ask for?
#
# Can anybody here in this audience
# In our vast audience back there
# Even you in the cheap seats
# Can you guess what I am?
#
# No, we can't guess what you are
# we can't guess
#
# Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues
# Clue number one
# (and I've already given this away)
# I'm portly Clue number one.
# I'm portly I am clue number one.
#
# I still don't know who you are
#
# OK,
# Then I'll give you clue number two
# And this is very important to the girls in the audience
# I'm double knit
#
# Ohhhhh
#
# I stretch
#
# And clue number three
#
# Oh no,no, Still don't know who you are, though..
#
# Well, I was gonna to give ya the clue anyway
#
# Does it matter with response like that?
#
# Clue number three
# And these are for the people standing
# right in front the vocal PA-mike
# Ich bin maroon
#
# Ahhhh, Why didn't you say so
#
# Once upon a time
# Way back a long time ago
# Way back when the universe consisted
# Of nothing more elaborate
# than Mark Maroon
#
# Thank you, Frank
# Hiya Friends
#
# Trying to convince
# each and every members of this audience here tonight
# that he was nothing more, nothing less
# Than a fat maroon sofa
# Suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness
# A light shineth down from Heaven
#
# And who should appeare but the Good Lord himself
# And his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell
#
# Down Wendell, down!
#
# And he was feeling fine that day
# And if there was one thing that he could use
# It would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell
#
# And he looked at the sofa
# And he said unto himself : This sofa is all right
# Except what it needs is a floor
# And so in order to attain the floor
# He consulted with the celestial corps of engineers

# And addressed them formaly
# With the little song in Deutsch
# Because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business
#
# Take it away God
#
#Gib zu mir
#Etwas Fußbodenbelag

#Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa
#
#Gib zu mir
#Etwas Fussbodenbelag
#Unter diesem fetten, fliessenden Sofa
#
# And of course that means
# Give unto to me a bit of flooring
# Underneath of this fat floating sofa
# And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
# As far as vision permits
# Stretching all the way from Fondue Central up on top of the hill
# Right down to the front door of the Excelsior Hotel
#
# And the Lord proceeded
# To deliver unto the sofa
# A brief lecture
# That will set forth in specific language
# the sum total of all
# their future relationships, including options
# With an electric clarinet
#
# Ich bin der Himmel
# (This goes out to [?Irving Porter] in the box)
# Ich bin das Wasser
# Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
# Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
# Und verlorenes Metallgeld
# Ich bin deine Ritze
# Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze
#
# Ich bin Wolken
# Ich bin bestickt
#
# Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen und Damask Paspeln
# Ich bin der chrome dinette
# Ich bin der chrome dinette
# Ich bin Eier aller Arten
#
# Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
# Ich bin alle Tage und Naechte
#
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
# Ich bin hier
# Und du bist mein Sofa
#
#I'm here and you are my sofa
#
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
# Eddie, are you kidding me ?
#
#Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab (Means: A light shines down from Heaven.
#Kometen und alle rasenden Trümmer Comets and all rushing wreckages
#Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ?????? Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
#Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren Are trembling at the arrival
# of the Lord )
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical patina
# At the right hand of God's big sofa
# And the Lord put aside his huge cigar
#
# And concidered it was time now
# to entertain himself
# On the Heavenly afternoon
# With the sofa, Wendell, his girlfriend
# Who was a little bit short
# And her assistant Squat, the magic pig
# And he did it like this
#
# Bring her zu mir (Means: Bring on to me
# Das kurze Mädchen the short girl
#
# Bring on to me the short girl
#
# Und Squat, das magische Schwein and Squat, the magic pig)
#
#
# And Squat the magic pig
# And big light
# Because we gonna make a home movie
#
# Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
# Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
# Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Schwanz
# Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
# ( ?????? guys )
# Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
# Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# Streck aus deinen heissen gelockten
# schwanz
# Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
#
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Magisches Schwein
# Mach es sehr schnell
# Rein und raus
# Magisches Schwein
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Bis es spritzt (?) (Both, es and er, is possible)
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Bis er spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
# Feuer!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
# Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
#
#Armed Forces Radio, Radio Free Europe
#
# Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
# You ugly son of a bitch
# Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Stick it out
# Stick out yer hot curly weenie
# Weenie... weenie, weenie, weenie!
# Make it go fast!
# In and out,
# Magical Pig
# Make it go real fast!
# In and out,
# Magical Pig
# Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
# Fire
# Till it squirts, squirts, squirts, squirts
# Fire
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
# Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
#
# (Please me
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I'm not a groupie!
# I hear and obey, [? ?].)
#
#
# Sheets of fire, ladies and gentelmen
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of real fire
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
# which is a new form of fondue
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
# And the Lord causeth the short girl to kneel
# And make mysterious gestures
# Near the reproductive orifice of Squat the magic pig
# And proceeded to broadcast her pure sweet voice
# Throughout his greatest new PA system
# all over the Alps and everything (Yodle)
#
#Fick mich, Schwein, bis meine ???? dunkles Gas bläst,
#Funken schießem heraus, sich Nebel blasen(?) hat(?)
#
# And for our boys in uniform
# That means: Fuck me swine
# Until my orchestra blows dark gas
# sparks shoot out
# and nebulas are revealed
# Along with sheets of fire
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
#Lachen von Feuer
#
# Sheets of dried water
#
#Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser
#
# Sheets of large deprived rumba
#
#Lachen von riesigen, tiefgefrorenen Rumba
#
# A light shines down from Heaven
# A dense ecumenical bandana
# At the right hand of God's big rumba(?)
#
# And his voice pronounceth out
# in sheets of plywood
# and bales of old sportshirts
#
# (Vot dooz he say?)
#
#Ballen von alten Sporthemden (????)
#
# And he says in the middle
# of his delirious stupor
#
#Beklecker nicht
#Beklecker nicht
#(...)
#Beklecker nicht mein Sofa!
#
# Obviuosly meaning
# Don't get no jizz on the sofa
# It is now time for
# the bales of imported unmiti-con..
# unmitigated zircon fondue
#
#Ballen von Zecken Fondu
#und alten Sporthemden Fondu
#
#Lachen von Feuer Fundo
#Lachen von ????? Fondu
#Lachen von Tränen Fondu
#Lachen von ??? kleister??? Spitzen Fondu
#

BONGO FURY
==========

Notes & Comments
ver.24-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

all lyrics except marked by *
from
Johannes Labisch <j...@cs.tu-berlin.de>
* from
ck7...@csc.albany.edu (C. Gordon Keeble [gordo])
** from
Rob Sweet (sw...@skat.usc.edu)

with fantastic memories appendix
from
John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
* The True Story of Bongo Fury*

Debra Kadabra
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shit-ass Charlotte, aint that a bitch?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: David=Lane%HQ%Rati...@Vines1.ratsys.com
# There's at least one other instance of this in the Beefheart world.
# In the "Blue Collar" theme song, the line "Foremen always wanna fight" was
# originally (only available on bootlegs) something like
# "Shit-ass foreman always wanna fight". I'd guess it was a local
# colloquialism where little Donnie was raised up.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# And Frankie too 'coze this song although been performed by CB is credited
# nevertheless to FZ.

Debra Kadabra, haw that's rich.
June, a rancho granny,
Shook her wrinkled fanny
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# fanny = heinie = behind = rear end = ass = buttocks ...
#

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Webster says:
# fan-ny \'fan-e^-\ pl fannies
# [perh. fr. Fanny, nickname of Frances] (1928) :BUTTOCKS

Witch goddess, witch goddess of Lankershim Boulevard.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: nude...@aol.com (NudeAdGuy)
# Lankershim is a long diagonal street that cuts through beautiful downtown
# Burbank and comes to a stop near Universal Studios. I got lost on it during
# my Honeymoon in 1981. I did find a great Pakistani restaurant and the
# chamber of commerce there, though.

#
# From: sa...@pitt.edu (Alan Saul)

# Lankershim Blvd. is the main drag in North Hollywood (that, incidentally,
# has little to do with Hollywood, which is perhaps, what, 10 miles away I'd
# guess). There were a lot of clubs on or just off Lankershim in N. Hollywood
# and it was generally a reasonably hip place to be for some people.

Cover my entire bodice, with Avon Cologna.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Avon ladies used to go (maybe they still do) door to door selling
# cosmetics.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Avon is a famous door-door cosmetics sales outfit. Periodically
# suburbanites would be paid a solicitation visit from the "Avon Lady"
#
#CC: This corrupted pronounciation of Cologne (perfume for men) features
# prominently in Thing Fish.
#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Martyn Dryden")
# "Don's mother, who sold Avon products door-to-door, had all this stuff from
# Avon stashed at the house, which everybody used. Y'know, it was free beauty
# aids. Don, being neurotic, and a bit of a narcissist, was quite prone to
# dumping any kind of beauty aid that he could find on to his body. He made
# the unfortunate mistake of taking some Avon cologne and putting it in his
# hair, one day, which made it start falling out. He also put some kind
# of Avon cream on his face, which made him break out in this giant rash. His
# face looked like an alligator. He was losing a great deal of status at the
# high school, and he moved out of our little desert community, Lancaster,
# where he went to school, and moved down to East LA to stay with his aunt
# for a while while he got his chops back together."
# -- FZ quoted in Society Pages, No 7, September 1991
# -- re-quoted in The Negative Dialectics of Poodle Play
# by Ben Watson, Quartet Books 1994.

and maybe watch the rubber tongue, when it comes out
from the puffed, and flabulent Mexican rubbergoods mask.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# Probably related to "blobulent" (from "The Radio is Broken"); it's a
# Zappa-word. I figure it means lumpy, rubbery, cheesy-looking.
#
# From: ap...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (John Gillies)
# flabulent Mexican Rebel Goose mask"
# -a clin d'oeil at Trout Mask, see also Mexican Art History

Next time they show the Brnokka
^^^^^^^^
# From: line...@delphi.com
# I think he is saying "Binaca", a concentrated breath-freshening fluid
# in a tiny bottle. Hey, it's Beefheart...it doesn't have to make sense to us!
#

Give me bas relief!
^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Yep, it's a pun. Bas-relief is a type of decorative molding or sculpture.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# An artistic style. I believe it is a basically two dimensional raised
# sculpture. In other words basically flat, but the objects are raised from
# the two dimensional surface to give a wee bit of depth.
#
# From: JRT...@prodigy.com (Raymond Ricker)
# There is a little more to this story - Fulcanelli believed that the
# secrets of Christian hermeticsm were to be found in Bas Reliefs throughout
# Europe's cathedrals - after he bestowed this knowledge upon a trusted
# disciple in 1920 (whereupon "Le Mystere des Cathedrales" was published)
# he disappeared without a trace. Thirty years later he made a single
# appearance to his disciple, before disappearing again, and, according to
# his disciple, actually had grown younger by at least 20 years.

Make me buy The Flosser
Make me grow branaic fingers
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(But with more hair)

# From _Frank Zappa - A Visual Documentary By Miles_ p.67
# "Oh the ultimate worst is in a Mexican science fiction movie called
# The Brainiac. It's one of the worst of the movie ever made and when
# the monster appears, not only is the monster cheap, he's got a rubber
# mask that you can see over the collar of the guy's jacket and rubber
# gloves that don't quite much up the sleeves of his sport coat. When
# the monster appears there's this trumpet lick that isn't scary. It's
# not even out of tune, it's just exactly the wrong thing to put there
# it doesn't scare you, that's the greatest example I can think of.
# Did you ever heard the song 'Debra Kadabra' ( on 'Bongo Fury')?
# That's what that song is about and when you hear in the background
# DA-DA-DA-DA-DAHHH, that's making fun of that stupid thrumpet line
# taht's in the movie but nobody's seen it over here so you can't
# appreciate the humour of the song.
# When he's saying 'Make me grow Brainiac fingers' that's what he's
# referring to, because Vliet and I have both seen that movie and it's
# fucking stupid. Mexican monster movies are great, The Aztec Mummy's
# Ghost that's good one too [Zappa: 1983]

Learn the pachuco hop, and let me twirl you!

^^^^^^^^
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I think it is a mexican american word that's kind of like "dude". "Pachuco
# hop" is obviuosly some sort of dance.
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# Slight historical note:
# "Pachuco" was a term used to refer to male persons of the Mexican-American
# persuasion. It was used a lot in So. Calif. in the 50's and 60's. I don't
# know how widespread the usage was. Another reference to the Pachuco Hop
# is on "Crusin' with Reuben and The Jets."
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su )
# The song name is _Jelly Roll Gum Drop_
# Got my eyes on you
# The way you do the bop
# Like a spinnig top
# The Pachuco Hop
# -from _Plastic People Songbuch_

Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I coulda swore her hair was made of rayon
She wore a Milton Bradley Crayon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# I know "Milton Bradley~ as a company, making indoor games. (I don't know
# any favorite game by them.) Maybe they were also doing cosmetica???
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# They also make colored wax crayons. The best-known US crayon manufacturer,
# Binney & Smith, makers of "Crayola" crayons, probably didn't meter out.
# There's also a phenomenon of large inflatable crayons that are given away
# as prizes at state fairs, carnivals, etc. No idea which is meant in this
# verse.
#
# From: tom.br...@dscmail.com (Tom Brunetti)
# The phrase probably refers to wearing too much makeup.

#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)

# A popular piece of clothing was (is?) a T-shirt that featured a giant
# picture of the business end of a crayon, complete with "Crayola" or
# "Milton-Bradley" (or whatever, I'm not sure) label. Maybe these go back
# to the time of this song?

I had a Roger Daltrey cape on
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# It was notable for its sheer pretensiousness.
#
# From: tom.br...@dscmail.com (Tom Brunetti)
# CAPE: garment that drapes over the shoulders.
# In the early Who days the cape was Daltrys trade mark. Look at it like the
# line in Joes Garage
# "we had matching suits and Beatle Boots "
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ <-- their early trademark
# In other words if you wore Beatle Boots, you were in the "IN" crowd.
# Probably the cape held the same meaning.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Actually this line refers to Roger Daltrey's practice during early Who
# tours of wearing a castrated chicken around his neck. It inspired most of
# his best vocal performances. Doncha remember, Pete Townshend wrote a
# whole rock opera about it. You know, "Poultry Wizard" and all that?
# Daltrey lost his capon, however, when John Entwistle and Keith Moon used
# it in an onstage gross-out contest, the details of which are just too
# sordid to post on the internet where children might see it.

Then she gave a pair of shoes to me...
Plastic leather, 14 Triple D
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# 14 Triple D is fucking HUGE. I didn't know there was triple D, there is
# triple E and that is the widest possible shoe size. The Widths are
# basically AAA AA A B C D E EE EEE. There are men's sizes and women's
# sizes. 14 is large for either of them. I doubt women's even go up to 14.

It might seem strange for Herb and Dee
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy

#CC
# Herb is Cohen and Dee is his wife.
# check also _200 Motels_ truck _Does That Kind Of Life Look Interesting
# To You_.

* Sam with the Showing Scalp Flat Top ( Captain Beefheart )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam with the showing scalp flat top,
particular about the point it made.

Sam was a BASKET CASE!

# From: line...@delphi.com
# The picture of "Sam" I have in my head is that of a paraplegic (no legs)
# ex-marine with a military crew-cut sitting on a wooden dolly with rubber
# castors (an image from some old movie I saw once). He leads a bitter and
# solitary life on the second floor of a tenement slum and his only contact
# with the world is the view from the fire escape. He is also quite insane.

Music was thud-like
^^^^^^^^^
# From: da...@pangloss.micro.ti.com (David Thomas)
# "Thud-like". Non-reverberant. The room absorbed every echo.

Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Quota would be referring to the amount of stuff they are expecting to sell.

Well, we've all come out to show dem,
And the Elks have helped us
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The Elks are an organization. These clubs are always involved in community
# activities.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# The Bevevolent Protective Order of Elks (B.P.O.E.) is a lodge, a club of
# sorts, where overweight balding middle-aged American men drink , smoke
# cigars, use secret handshakes and initiations, be patriotic, then drive
# home in their Lincolns.

Little Poofter-Cloth Appointments
Little Pofter's Froth Anointments
Little hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods
^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Doo-dads: gizmos, bric-a-brack, widgets.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Just a term which basically means "things". The subtlety of meaning is
# "small" or even "useless" things.

Yes, a special beer for sports
(and paper cups that hold two quarts)
^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# He's referring to a big festival so they will be selling beer in disposable
# paper cups, but REALLY big ones so everyone can get drunk. (It's the
# American way, dont you know).

This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute (HYULK!)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Pun on Bicentennial (two hundred year anniversary).

Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
Ah but we have been astute!
Signed: Anon. - Wyo. Galoot!
^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Galoot is an archaic term for a big dummy.
#
#CC: Thing Fish: Galoot Calogna
#
# From: lar...@ssd.intel.com (Larry Huntley)
# ga-loot [origin unknown] slang (1866): FELLOW: esp. one that is
# strange or foolish.
# See Warner Brothers cartoons starring Yosemite Sam for further usage
# examples.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Galoot: slang for an old man; a codger.

Cucamonga
~~~~~~~~~

Out in Cucamonga
Many years ago
Near a Holy Roller Church
There was once a place
Where me and a couple of friends
Began practicing for the time
We might go
On TV

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# In 'The Real FZ Book' he writes about moving into Studio Z in Cucamonga.
# Motorhead Sherwood also lived there. "North, up Archibald, were an
# electrician's shop, a hardware store and the recording studio. Across the
# street was a Holy Roller church . . . " p.42.

All we ever really knew:
That it was crazy (Nanook, no-no)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )

#CC
# Our young brave Don't_it_the_yellow_snow boy once again. HOTCHA!

Advance Romance
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can't stand it no more

Told me she loved me
I believed what she said
Took me for a sucker, boy
All corn-fed

^^^^^^^^
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Corn-fed basically means "fat". Refers to pigs and cows who are fattened
# for the kill on corn, but often used in reference to people.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# In terms of pigs and cattle, corn-fed indicates that they weren't fattened
# for slaughter with just any old feed, but with corn. It's more expensive,
# but you get a fatter, tastier pig. As a slang term, it indicates someone
# who's fat, dumb and happy.
#
#CC
# Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# You're both wrong - sorta. In fact, the term "corn-fed" is old music slang
# from the days of swing and is still used in some quarters. A "corn-fed"
# musician is one who came up through the ranks via working with professional
# symphony orchestras.
# Now, there is also a little-known slang phrase: "Corn-fed sucker", which
# is just a colorful colloquialism for "sucker" and this is the primary
# interpretation of this lyric. But, as with many FZ lyrics he most
# certainly chose his words with great care so as to have several different
# shadings (and said so in a number of interviews). If one interpretation is
# lyrically vague it will often be referenced or reflected musically. This
# is what's happening in this bit of lyric.
# The "hip jazz-cat" interpretation of the term "Corn-fed" is supported by
# the blindingly fast music which appears just after this phrase in many
# arrangements of this song. The fact that this musical reference appears in
# the middle of a phrase which lyrically has nothing to do with the music
# might seem to be just plain old AAAFNRAA, but as I have demonstrated (at my
# customary great length) this ain't necessarily so.
# There are other references to this kind of "hip jazz cat" slang in FZ's
# material. A number of examples are found in Yo Cats:
#
# "Get your fiddle, get your bow
# play some footballs on your hole"
#
# This refers to a session violinist who gets the extremely easy and
# high-paying job of playing whole notes (which in music look like footballs)
# while keeping the bow level with the widest part of the violin's "F-holes"
# (F-shaped carvings in the body of the instrument through which the air in
# the instrument gets out to interact with the surrounding air for the
# benefit of people who are impatiently waiting to sip overpriced cheap wine
# and be seen at intermission). The reason one would play "on your hole" is
# because the loudest and most resonant sound you can normally get out of an
# instrument of the violin family is to play with the bow level with the
# F-holes.
#
# "Saxophone, clarinet
# How many doubles can you get?"
#
# This refers to the probably forced hiring of one union musician (due to
# "special union rules") to cover both the sax and clarinet parts (a "double
# date") that way the musician makes more money than he would if he had
# played only one part.
# There are additionally a shitload of places in FZ's music where you fully
# understand the lyrics yet you're missing out on a whole dimension if you're
# not familiar with the musical reference happening at the same time. An
# excellent example occurs in "Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning
# Witch" at the point in the lyrics wherein it is written:
#
# "For some kind of ritual sacrifice"
#
# Going on behind this lyric is a famous quotation from Stravinsky's "Rite Of
# Spring" (which ends with a "Sacrificial Dance").

She took George's watch
Like they always do
(It was a Timex, too!)
^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# They were very popular at that time.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# They were semi-valuable when they first came out.

Potato-head Bobby
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
#CC
# He got slabbering drank at Palomino and they gave him thirty days
# in San Ber'dino.

was a friend of mine
Open three of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open four of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open five of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open six of his eyes
In the food stamp line
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Food Stamps is a welfare type program for feeding the poor.
# In England: Dole Queue.

#
# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Food stamps are an American invention; rather than give our poor people
# actual money, we give 'em vouchers that we call food stamps that they can
# buy food with, and not much else.

She had frenched his fry
^^^^^^^^

# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# French fries. Fried potato sticks
# (You can see them forming the word "Thing Fish" on the cover of "Thing
# Fish".)

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# In america we call them French Fries. The French call them pommes frites,
# the Belgians call them just frites, The Dutch patat frites?, The English
# call them Chips. Each nation claims to have invented them, but in the U.S.
# we credit the French. No one knows why.

#
# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# I always took this to be a poetic reference to The Blow Job....
# and, sure enough - my Concise Oxford backs me up on this -
# "French . . . (sl.) fellatio".

** The Man With the Woman Head ( Captain Beefheart )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you with me on this people?

A coil of ashes collected on the white-on-yellow dacs.
^^^^^
# From: ap...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (William Moon)
# I think I've got it, trivia hounds. I once saw Captain Beefheart on
# Letterman. This was in the early years of the show - he sang Ashtray Heart
# - and he remarked that he had spent some time working at Kinney Shoes as a
# salesman. Kinney shoes. Where they sell a popular old fashioned type of
# men's shoes - big clunky jobs that my dad wears called DACKS!

Muffin Man
~~~~~~~~~~

The Muffin Man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the Utility Muffin
Research Kitchen...
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon he gathers an intimate quantity of
dried muffin remnants and brushing his scapular aside procceds to dump these
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#a.f.f.-z. FAQ p.1
# From: za...@bnr.ca (Ron Zajac)
# Here's what it is; two little cloth & paper icons of Mary, Jesus
# and/or some Saints bound by two thin ribbons (about 2.5' long):
#
# +---+ +---+
# | |===================================| |
# | | | |
# | |===================================| |
# +---+ +---+
#
# You drape the ribbons over your shoulders (over your t-shirt, under
# your over-shirt) so one icon sits on your breastbone, another in the
# middle of your back. I forget what sacrament the issuing of this
# thing is associated with; perhaps Confirmation. There were all kinds
# of associated cool legends that the kids passed around; that if you
# wore it when you died, you'd go straight to Heaven; that there was
# once a soldier who cussed/swore/drank/etc--but he Wore His Scapular,
# and bragged between swigs and pelvic thrusts that he'd go to heaven
# because he always wore his scapular. Well, he died during combat and
# they miraculously found the scapular 50' away from where he died.
# WHAT do you THINK of THAT?!??!
#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( so...@bank.kemerovo.su )
# It seems that Muffin Man is a direct relative or may be Father O'Blivion
# himself busy with scientificaly conceived and approved Saint Alfonzo's
# Pancake:-) In other words religion and cheap flour-based fried stuff were
# inseparable for FZ. And mean rancind oil stink of charity muffin or
# pancake from Joe The Lost Soul amend making. Amen.

He turns to us and speaks:
"SOME PEOPLE LIKE CUPCAKES BETTER. I FOR ONE CARE LESS FOR THEM!"

# From: Colin Gateley <qf...@insane.apana.org.au>

# It's difficult to explain: like trying to explain why a joke is funny
# and succeeding in only confusing your victim.
# "I FOR ONE CARE LESS FOR THEM!" - sounds portentious, pretentious,
# rhythmically amusing, silly, a lot of emphasis for such a seemingly
# trivial matter...

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing
anointment utensil he poots forths a quarter-ounce green rosette
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It's not a wall ornament object. Rosette means a small Rose. When you
# squirt out a small (quarter-ounce) dollop of icing onto a cake or muffin it
# makes a little rose like pattern. This is what the muffin man is doing
# with green icing.

# And at last!...

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
#

# The True Story of Bongo Fury
# ------------------------------
#
# I attended the second Bongo Fury show, 21 May 1975, at Armadillo World
# Headquarters. Herewith some of my memories of it, and responses to a
# couple of questions.
# The Armadillo (or AWHQ) was an old Nat'l Guard Armory that had also
# served as a skating rink. It was located in a part of Austin, south of the
# Colorado River, that's right on the border where the downtown business
# district gives way to a neighborhood. Around 1970, some enterprising
# hippies transformed it into a music hall in the spirit of the defunct
# Vulcan Gas Company. They struggled with it til about 1972, when both Willie
# Nelson and Freddie King decided they liked playing there and began doing so
# often.
# As a music hall, it was mid-sized, held about 2500 people comfortably.
# There was a stage, the main floor (which usually had only a few rows of
# chairs at back, people mainly sitting on the floor), a raised area at back
# where folks could sit at tables, two bars (one on each side of the hall)
# and the food counter off to the side. For a long time, the main floor was
# covered by many 3-square-yard patches of carpeting. Pretty handy - when
# one got soaked with beer, it could just be replaced. In the late 70s, they
# carpeted the whole place with red outdoor pile, and it never smelled the
# same again.
# There was also a nice beer garden outside.
# It was popular with touring musicians because, unlike most other concert
# venues, a point was made of feeding the bands with real food, not just
# deli snacks, before or between shows. Evidently, no one was more impressed
# by this than Frank. Hence, the credit on BF to "the Armadillo kitchen
# staff, especially Jan Beeman." The actual Guacamole Queen was an early
# AWHQ cook known as Big Rikki, but she'd been gone for a while by this time
# and kitchen manager Beeman had become known as the GQ sort of by default.
# For the most part, attendance at an AWHQ concert required a person to not
# mind at least getting high on second-hand weed smoke, because toking was
# almost a requirement. Very democratic, too - if you didn't have any, all
# you had to do was sit and wait for one to come by. (At his 1977 concert
# there, Frank pointed toward the emergency exit at stage right, the doors of
# which were usually open, and said "Please blow your smoke that way.")
# I had seen the Roxy-era band play there in 1973, my first live Zappa and
# my first indoor concert at AWHQ. I think they may have been there in '74,
# but I missed that one. The concert was explicitly advertised as a joint
# FZ-Capt. Beefheart gig for recording a live album.
# As the second night's event began (I cannot remember if there was an
# opening act), the resident AWHQ artist/sage/MC Jim Franklin (creator of the
# armadillo ad campaign for Lone Star Beer) came onstage in some weird kind
# of priest garb, and growled "Ladies and gennelmen - ya Mothas!"
# The lighting went all spooky and the band came out in kind - I remember
# Bruce Fowler staggering out like the Frankenstein monster.
# The first disappointment was that Ruth was nowhere in sight, though
# everone else was there - but wait, that's a new drummer, not Chester. Rats.
# And instead of percussion they've got a new guitarist? Hmmm.
# I really don't remember what they began the show with, nor what all they
# played aside from what's on the record. I think Carolina Hard Core Ecstacy
# came fairly early in the set. What was obvious, right away, was that this
# band didn't sound like the one I had come to see - even though it was
# largely the same band, there was none of the precision of the earlier show.
# Instead, Frank was plainly emphasizing the bluesier side. Whether this was
# for Beefheart's sake, or whether FZ was really entering his guitar-hero
# phase, or even perhaps pandering to the AWHQ audience (Texans have always
# loved blues and electric guitar stuff), I don't know, but it gave me a sense
# of letdown that, to be honest, never entirely went away during the show.
# A few days ago, someone posted on here the second-hand statement
# (allegedly by another attendee) that the show sucked. That's not entirely
# true, but sadly, it _is_ about 50% true. George Duke did not play a single
# keyboard solo all night, that I can remember, so he was wasted. Napoleon
# Murphy Brock didn't seem to be having as much fun as he did before. Bozzio's
# frenzied style was so different from Chester's that he put me right off,
# and it took a long time for me to like him. Frank often looked stressed,
# like he was really concentrating hard.
# The most entertaining thing to see was Beefheart himself. His stage
# manner was awkward - sometimes he seemed to be grooving to the music but his
# movements were rather like watching Paul Newman or someone (maybe Dean
# Martin) trying to groove. At other times, he sat in a chair and, from a
# bag, pulled out doodads that he would inspect and set aside. (Hence the
# credit, "shopping bags.")
# There were 2 or 3 pieces, don't know what, in which Beefheart played sax
# solos, and I thought he was very good indeed at that.
# About halfway through the show, a stagehand walked on and right up to
# Frank, in the middle of a number. Frank listened to what he said and gave
# the band a hand signal, and I tell you, they stopped on a dime, clean and
# all at once. Frank then told us that a bomb threat had been received and
# we'd have to evacuate the hall. He seemed to know the layout, since he
# pointed right at the emergency exit and told us to go that way. By the way,
# you've seldom seen a crowd of people that was _less_ agitated by the
# prospect of a bomb than this crowd.
# Many people could be overheard averring that it was all part of the
# show, but I doubt if the Austin Fire Dept. could have been roped into
# playing FZ's stooges. They definitely were there.
# After 30 minutes, we were permitted back in, but of course I had lost
# my good seat and found myself near the back of the hall. The band
# returned, Frank said "We were in the middle of Capt. Beefheart's solo",
# he gave ONE downbeat, and the took up RIGHT WHERE THEY HAD LEFT OFF, solo
# and all. That was REAL impressive, I thought.
# There was one thing about that night I had mercifully forgotten, until FZ
# had the bad judgment to resurrect it: the original The Torture Never Stops.
# I wouldn't have known that was it, since most of what Beefheart sang all
# night couldn't be understood. But I did know that it was the worst excuse
# for a blues that I had ever heard, and was just sucking the life out of the
# audience.
# I feel the same way when I hear it now, on Stage 4. However, it's no
# longer the worst blues I ever heard: "Mannish Boy" as performed by The
# Who on their most recent tour is the winner.
# I remember Beefheart doing both of his album cuts, most particularly
# "Man with the Woman Head." When he asks "Are you with me on this people?"
# you can hear some response in the back, one of those voices being me.
# I don't think that Muffin Man was the encore number, I think it was the
# end of the main set, but that's fuzzy. Also I am not certain that it had
# lyrics but I don't remember there being any. What I do remember clearly is
# that it jazzed up the audience like no other number all night, that as Frank
# played I made my way in a trance back up to the stage area, stepping on some
# toes I'm sure, and that I was just flying high with him as he made that
# kamikaze run up the fretboard right before the verse comes back, and for a
# second there his fingers got tangled up, moving but producing no sound.
# (This is the solo heard on the record (and don't fuck with me about it!)).
# That deflated my high a bit. In fact, that's what I remember overall
# about Bongo Fury - a few inflations but a few more deflations.
# I do not recall that Frank started playing again after the "Good night
# Austin Texas" farewell - he just left. That leads me to suspect that the
# guitar outchorus is actually from the first night.
# It was a memorable evening, to be sure (obviously), but a mixed bag, just
# the same.
# The AWHQ closed at the end of 1980, after the landowner decided to sell.
# The last band I saw there was Bill Monroe and the Bluegrass Boys, but the
# next-to-last was FZ with Vinnie, Ike, Ray and company, and he told us we
# shouldn't feel too bad about it closing, because the way things were going
# there was no reason to believe that the place's special atmosphere would
# continue intact. He was quite right about that - panhandlers were infesting
# the beer garden and the staff had started to treat the customers badly.
# So I guess it was time; but I will never forget all the fun I had there.

# From: boil...@aol.com (Boil That)
# Re: whether "Muffin Man" had lyrics during the tour...none of the tapes
# I've heard from the tour had "Muffin Man" lyrics. The main riff seemed to
# have developed over a series of shows as a
# guitar-solo-vehicle-cereal-by-product of the dramatic, slowed-down final
# verse of "Camarillo Brillo" (same chords). Lyrics would appear to have
# been written afterward and overdubbed. Does anyone have any evidence of a
# vocal "Muffin Man" during the '75 Zappa/Beefheart tour?
#
# Keneally http://www.moosenet.com/keneally.html

Robbert Heederik

unread,

May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part4

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 4 of 6 |

| part 4 of 6 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

ZOOT ALLURES
============
Notes and Comments
ver.29-Apr-1995

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)
on
1994 Russian Orthodox Easter Sunday :-)

Lyrics was originaly
transcribed by
C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)

Special thanks to
Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Interesting thing to note about the album title.
# In France they say _Zut Alors_ when mean _Goddamned_.
# So it seems that the only language Frank have no time to abuse
# is Russian. Ne zappelos', tovarischee :-(
#
# From: U00...@vm.uci.kun.nl (Jan van Kemenade)
# The explanation that was given a while ago for the 'Zoot Allures'
# title (from the french : Zut Alors) is confirmed by what FZ says
# on the boot Titties & Beer (Zoot Allures live in Paris) :
# 'And now from our almost french title album Zoot Allures ..'

#Front-cover mistery :-)
#
# From: JOHNS...@delphi.com
# From left to right: Patrick O'Hearn, Terry Bozzio, FZ, Eddie Jobson.
# I am not familiar with the answers altho I've seen some speculation on
# affz. I don't remember the details but the photo had to do with some time
# period aother than that album.

Wind Up Workin' In A Gas Station
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This here song might offend you some.
If it does, it's because you're dumb.
That's the way it is where I come from.
If you been there too, let me see your thumb.

Let me see your thumb. [Let me see your thumb]
Let me see your thumb. [Let me see your thumb]

Show me your thumb if your really dumb.

# From: har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu (Peter B. Harrington)
# The thumb reference explains an obvious way to identify anyone who makes
# a living working on automobiles. Automechanics typically have black
# grease under the finger and thumb nails. In addtion, the thumb has a
# tendency to take some abuse in this occupation, and after a while will
# have a hammered on appearance. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be proud.
#
# From: jsu...@moose.uvm.edu (Jane P. Suder)
# Speaking from personal experience? I think the grease thing is not
# exactly right, although they do have dem greeeesy fingerz.... but the
# hammered thumb thing might be it.....
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# As a general rule, the thumbs and fingers of mechanics are noticably
# scarred and calloused from working with cast iron and stamped steel. A
# seemingly permanent black stain from the carbon in grease and oil is also
# common in that line of work. In addition, mechanics are seldom regarded
# as members of the intellectual elite, so the stigma of a black, scarred
# thumb could translate to "destined for a lifetime of failure and
# mediocrity". i.e. "Wind up working in a gas station"...
#
# From: wi...@netcom.com (William D. Sterling)
# I recall, back in the 50's the big joke on the playground was to say:
# Look up (victim looks up)
# Look down (victim looks down)
# See my thumb? (victim nods "yes")
# You're dumb. (end of joke).

Hey now, better make a decision.
Be a moron, and keep your position.
You oughta know now, all your education,
won't help you no-how.
^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# In this sentence it is used in the sense of "anyhow" or "anyway".
# Many uneducated people in this country use the phrase "no-how" instead of
# "anyhow" or "anyway" as in the phrase "I don't care if the library
# burned down - I never went there no-how".

Many da camper wants to buy some white. [Wind up workin' in a gas station]

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)

# The most mysterious line in the song was clarified for me on this
# newsgroup sometime back. It's Frank doing a pseudo-German accent saying:
#
# "Manny de camper wants to buy some white."
#
# Apparently a reference to white gas, something nearly every camper needs.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It refers to white gas, which is something like propane that an RV would
# require. This is verified in the interview that the editors of Society
# Pages conducted with FZ.

#
# From: Jack Fleming <JackF...@aol.com>

# White gas is a fuel used in camp stoves & lanterns. It is basically pure
# gasoline (no poisonous additives like lead). Coleman was the
# manufacturer of gas stoves & lanterns.

The Torture Never Stops
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov (so...@bank.kemerovo.su)

# Interesting to note that this very, very long song :-) was first time
# performed in April 11, 1975 at Claremont College, California FZ concert
# by Don Van Vliet ( aka Captain Beefheart ) under the name
# Why Doesn't Somebody Get Him a Pepsi?

Wonderful Wino
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give me a five dollar bill, and an overcoat too.

#CC

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This connects with You Are What You Is

A five dollar bill, and an overcoat too,
a five dollar bill, and a Florscheim shoe.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Famous U.S. shoemaker.
#
# From: Rob Sweet ( sw...@skat.usc.edu )
# "Florcshiem" is a shoe manufacturer and retailer. Kinda like Kinney's.
#
# From: <AU...@ASUACAD.BITNET>
# Florsheim is a brand of mens shoes that have been around for 75
# years and they are of a pretty conservative fashion. When working in a
# Florsheim retailer most of our customers were Business men/Frumpy old guy
# types. A dirty overcoat and a worn out old Florsheim shoe would probably
# make perfect "Wino-wear". Then again I could be wrong, hope this helps.

Disco Boy
~~~~~~~~~

Disco boy, do the bump every night, 'til the disco girl
who's really right, gonna fall for your line,
and feed you a box full of chicken delight.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Chicken Delight was a fried chicken fast foodery, similar to Kentucky
# Fried. I can't explain it, but the above lyrical excerpt really captures
# the 70's.
#

A disco drink, a disco wink,
you never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.

Duty. Go duty!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# You never go doody. Children's slang for shit. I always thought that
# lyric was on the stupid side.

#
# From: Greg...@LFGMS.logica.com (Martin Gregorie)

# Slang round here used to say 'A girl like that don't shit' if she was
# really a cracker. Maybe this explains the 'never go doody' reference?
#
# From: C. Gordon Keeble [gordo] (ck7...@csc.albany.edu)
# Yeah, it's something like saying "You think your shit don't stink."
#

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# But there is yet LOTS more in the folklore of doody. Lots of American
# males between 8 and 50 truly enjoy a certain amount of "bathroom and
# otherwise gutter humor" and find it extremely hilarious (myself included).
# Things like sitting around talking about tremendous shits you have had (or
# found in restrooms), farts of Blessed Memory, times you had to take a dump
# real bad and almost didn't make it (i.e. you nearly had a "brown-out" as
# in Pound For A Brown); stuff like that. Anyway, in almost 100% of females
# of similar age this sort of humor is highly unappreciated - you have to go
# "out with the guys" to find sympathetic ears - this is why it usually
# becomes "a guy thing". Most women act as if they don't even have a
# butthole, much less periodically extrude waste materials through it. This
# ties in with Broken Hearts Are For Assholes. Evidently Frank shared at
# least some affinity with this kind of "gutter humor" as references of this
# nature abound in Frank's music - a good example is the line "Don't let your
# meat loaf - heh heh heh" from The Blue Light (Tinseltown Rebellion). Oh
# and by the way, it's DOODY, not "Duty".
#
# From: Paul Adel <7561...@compuserve.com>
# Never go doody, thats what you think - a reflection on disco boys self
# image, i.e. he thinks he so clean, polished, sexy that he denies
# association with bodily functions. Note also that in Japan, women's rest
# rooms are equipped with noise machines that mask the sound of bodily
# functions because of sensitivity about self image.

STUDIO TAN
==========

Notes and Comments
ver.14-May-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics was bravely transcribed
by
patrick...@fsa.ulaval.ca (Patrick Gaumond)
and
Dave Winsor <WIN...@zodiac.rutgers.edu>

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@flanker.techno.ru>

The Adventure Of Greggery Peccary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The adventures of GREGGERY PECCARY!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Is it kind of funny coincidence or an intentional pun on the name of famous
# Hollywood star?

Oh, here comes GREGGERY,
Little GREGGERY PECCARY
The nocturnal gregarious
Wild swine

# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# I assumed it was FZ, with the voice the result of tape-speed twiddling.
# One way to confirm this would be to play it back slower and see if it sounds
# like him... I have a deck that can do this so I can try it.
#
# From: mitch....@turner.com (Mitch Goldman)
# It's definitely FZ...play it slow and you'll hear it... plus, I thought he
# was credited with the vocals on this track on the CD liner notes...
#
# From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
# I've also always assumed it was Frank, but come to think of it, isn't
# George Duke credited for vocals? And I can't remember hearing his voice
# elsewhere on GP.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# I slowed down a tape of the song to check out the voice... it's definitely
# FZ as the nocturnal gregarious wild swine.
#
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# I always felt it was George Duke with a little tape tinkering. To me,
# Duke's phrasing is unique and unmistakable, even post-tinker.

A peccary
Is a little pig
With a white collar
That usually hangs around
Between Texas and Paraguay
Sometimes ranging as far
west as Catalina
^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# And island just off the coast of California near Los Angeles.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Santa Catalina is an island off the coast of California, near Long Beach.
#
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Catalina is an island off the coast of Southern California. It's a big
# tourist attraction, and there's these big glass-bottom boats that take
# you out there.

This particular peccary
Is part of that bold (bold),
New (new) breed (breeding)
That extinguishes itself
By markings which resemble a
WIDE TIE
^^^^^^^^
Directly below the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
White collar
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Peccarys (Javelinas in Spanish) have a white collar of hair around their
# necks. In 1972, the fashion was wearing wide ties. Greggery is hip...
# so he wears a wide tie.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# White collar is American slang for rich folks. I would imagine it refers
# to a generic business suit, with tie and white shirt, consequently a white
# collar. The lower class is called "blue collar", referring to denims, I
# imagine, because of the manual labor.

Every morning, GREGGERY drives
His little red Volkswagen to the ugly
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# They were cheap and they were everywhere. All the hippies started growing
# up and needed cars...so they got the cheapest and most economical on gas...
# there was a gasoline crisis in the early 70's don't forget.

Voodn, Voodn!
Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!
GREGGERY PECCARY takes the elevator
Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
Gray, evil-looking building
With a sign on the front reading:
'BIG SWIFTY ASSOCIATES. TREND-MONGERS'.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# OK, it is a name of beautiful piece from Waka/Yawaka. But may be there are
# also some meaning behind it?
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Frank often said that there are little links in all the songs for nothing
# more than the purpose of "unifying the collection." This and the future
# references to Billy The Mountain, Ethel, and The Short Forest are probably
# just used as names, because the audience might identify more with such a
# long, non-repetitive piece better if they have these little links to help
# them along through 20 minutes of this type of music.

And so it was, one fateful morning,
GREGGERY PECCARY made his way through the Steno Pool . . .
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A Steno Pool refers to a Stenographer Pool and is a feature-ette of many
# large corporations. Many times these large corporations place all the
# stenographers in a central location (in THE BIG UGLY CORPORATE BUILDING) so
# that documents requiring editing or dictated documents requiring
# transcription can be processed by stenographers in one central location (as
# in "Hey, send this prospectus on down to the steno pool."). The main
# stereotyped image of a Steno Pool consists of: a bunch of air-head females
# who, since they are air-head females, are not particularly suited to
# anything but stenography and (probably) fellatio.

All the girls in the BIG SWIFTY
Steno Pool
KNEW . . .
Here was a
Nocturnal,
Gregarious
Wild swine
ON HIS WAY UP!
A Peccary of Destiny,
Adventure
And
ROMANCE!

# Any CC connection here with _Sleep Dirt_ Spider of Destiny or _Bongo's
# Advance Romance?
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# I wouldn't think so. American culture bombards you with the idea that
# fucking is the ultimate to aspire to, romance leading to the actual fucking.
# No mention is ever made of the nice stuff that comes once you find a partner
# for life, i.e. the rewards of the relationship. I take this as a rather
# tame way of saying that all the girls in the steno pool just simply want to
# "romance", i.e. court, Greggary Peccary because being on his way up, he'll
# eventually be a rich man. Then they'll be able to break into SOCIETY.

SWIFTY'S!
THIS IS BIG SWIFTY'S!
AT BIG SWIFTY'S WE ALL KNOW-OW-OW
YOU'LL GO
FOR ANY GIMMICK OR GIZMO!
^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Gizmo is just another word for gadget; just a random object used in
# performing some trivial task (such as a calendar).
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# No. [ It's not jism] Not everything in Frank's stuff is sexually explicit,
# and that misconception is probably a large part of why he doesn't get played
# on commercial radio in the states. A gizmo is nothing more than something
# you don't know the name for, like a whatchamacallit, thingumybob, or a
# what'sit.

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE INVOLVED
IN A SERIES OF COLORFUL
TIME-WASTINC TRENDS?

AIR HOCKEYs . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Maybe it's a U.S. thing, or maybe just a California thing, I don't know.
# Air hockey is a game played usually in arcades. It's the size and shape of
# a billiard table, but instead of green felt, there's a white, smooth surface
# with holes punched all over it. Tiny airjets blow through those holes. Two
# people play, standing at opposite ends of the table, and on the table at
# each end something like a pocket or a slot. There's a plastic puck that
# glides over the table's surface (hovering smoothly over the airjets) and
# gets batted around by the opponents wielding these things that look like
# plastic bagels with handles sticking out of the middle. With those paddles,
# the opponents try to knock the puck into each other's slot. Much like
# hockey. The puck action is pretty smooth, so a good game can get pretty
# frantic with this mini-guillotine frantically zipping all over the table.
# Trust me... much fun.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# This is a really fond memory of mine in American culture. You can still
# find air hockey tables around, but it takes some searching. An air hockey
# table has little holes in the surface that air shoots out of, making the
# puck airborne. You have a gizmo to hit the puck with. It's this little
# plastic dome with a plate on the bottom, the plate having a rim around it.
# Your hand fits between the rim and the dome. On the table there is a little
# slit for a goal. You have to try to get the puck in the goal (obviously).
# First to reach specified number of goals wins.

Does it matter that this waste of time
Is what makes a LIFE for you? Hmmmmm?

I must plummet boldly
forward
To my ULTRA-AVANT
Laminated,
Simulated
Replica-mahogany desk,
With the strategically-placed,
Imported, very hip water pipe,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Well, last I knew, "water pipe" is a polite way to refer to a "bong", which
# is something used to smoke copious amounts of marijuana.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# It's also called a bong or a hookah. There's water in the pipe to cool the
# smoke from the stuff you're smoking so that it doesn't burn the fuck out of
# your throat while it's on its way to your lungs.

And with that.
GREGGARY turned
And strode nonchalantly
Into his dinky little office
With the desk and the catalog
And the very hip water pipe.
And proceeded,
With a vigor and determination
Known only to piglets
Of a similarly diminutive
proportion,
To single-handedly invent
THE CALENDAR!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# I wonder if there's supposed to be some kind of pun here between Greggary
# and "Gregorian" calendar??
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Well, Greggary has to invent something that's already invented, and take
# credit for it. That's the nature of American culture, to distill everything
# and then charge fuckloads for it.

Because NOW. AT LAST,
CRECGERY PECCARY's exciting new

invention
Had made it possible
For everyone
To find out
HOW OLD THEY WERE!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: se...@ix.netcom.com (Scot Beidelman)
# Now, I don't know if this is strictly a U.S. fascination, but here there
# is a tremendous superficial concern over aging (particularly here in
# California, where FZ spent most of his time). Everybody wants to stay young
# and beautiful, and the commercialization of products and services intended
# to aid this process has gotten totally out of hand, and in my opinion, the
# whole thing is an embarrassment to our society. Zappa's attacking our
# obsession with age.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# The hip young people are PLASTIC, remeber? They follow colourful
# time-wasting trends, and spend money looking GOOD and YOUNG. They are
# slowly ageing and the calendar reminds them that they are getting OLDER.
# When you get OLD, you aren't young and HIP anymore. And plastic people only
# care about outer appearences. Therefore they want to LYNCH Greggery for
# inventing the CALENDAR. (Hope I didn't spoil the storyline for anyone)
#

What hath GOD wrought?

# From: dave...@aol.com (DaveWPKN)
# First complete telegraph message sent over newly constructed line by
# Samuel F.B. Morse from Washington DC to Baltimore (!) on May 24, 1844.

Unfortunately,
There were some people
Who simply DID NOT WISH TO
KNOW,
And that's why,
On his way home from the office
one night,
GREGGERY was attacked
By a RAGE OF HUNCHMEN!
^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# The hunchmen are the hip young people. A hunchman is someone who is usually
# hired for money to carry out shady tasks.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# That's a henchman, with an E. FZ's term also suggests hunch (a premonition
# or suspicion) and hunchback (like Quasimodo).
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Probably it refers to organized crime (gangsters) wherein the competition
# (unspecified company) has hired henchmen (this is the real word) to kill
# Greggary Peccary so he can't sell his calendar and they can steal the idea
# and make the money. I imagine it has the "hunch" corruption to link it to
# Hunchentoot which was written about the same time.

Making his way through the
evening traffic, GREGGERY notices
that the other vehicles which
crowd and bump his little red car
are all inhabited by slowly-aging
'VERY HIP YOUNG PEOPLE',

# From: alxs...@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Alex Slotkin)
# Anyways, I was listening to "The Adventures of Greggery Peccary" off of
# _Studio Tan_ the other day with one of my friends for the 20th time (no
# small feat), when I heard it! I made him rewind it a little bit, and lo
# and behold, there it was! When Frank is talking about Greggery driving
# home from work in his little red Volkswagen, and right after he mentions
# that all of the cars that are bumping him are driven by a bunch of "slowly
# aging, very hip young people...." you can hear a couple measures of
# Herbie Hancock & the Headhunters' classic jazz-funk tune, "Chameleon"!
#
# From: epco...@umich.edu (Pheezy)
# I have always thought the significance was that the young 'n' hip yuppies
# would be interested in this music, and Frank was most definitely pokin fun
# (he does that once in a while) at this fact.
#
# From: k...@claris.com (Ken Walter)
# Zappa is making fun of the the "slowly aging, very hip young people," who
# are trying to show how hip they are by listening to fusion music. At least
# that's how I hear it.

To elude them, GREGGERY takes the
SHORT FOREST EXIT off the express-
^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# _Overnite Sensation_. Camarillo Brillo

#
# She ruled the Toads

# Of the Short Forest
#
# and also instrumental piece from _Weasels_ Toad Of The Short Forest
# Where is it? I really want to know.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I don't know if there really is one. I always thought Frank was referring
# to pubic hair. Toads of the short forest would be inhabitants of the pubic
# hair (yum!). I think this is just a CCC in Greggery Peccary.

GREGGERY takes a bumpy trail
off the main SHORT FOREST ROAD,
which leads him up the side
of a FAMOUS (and convenientlv
placed) MOUNTAIN, and into a strange
^^^^^^^^^
cave on the edge of a cliff, not far
from a LITTLE TWISTED TREE. . .with
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
eyes on it.

#CC
# Billy The Mountain and his wife Ethel The Tree.
# See _Just Another Band From L.A. N&C.

Meanwhile, the enraged HUNCHMEN
(and HUNCH-'WOMEN) rumble
through the SHORT FOREST until
(realizing the little swine has
escaped, they decide to park their
steaming vehicles in a circular
pseudo wagon-train formation. . .
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# The wagons formed a circle for defense against hostile Indians.
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Yes and no. A wagon-train formation points the back of each wagon train,
# which is open to the elements, towards the campfire, so that the people in
# the wagon train can sleep with warmth. It gets cold in the desert at night,
# especially the further north you get.

and have a LOVE-IN!
^^^^^^^^
# From: mike_q...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)
# A love-in doesn't necessarily involve sex, though it might. Usually it just
# refers to a gathering by hippie types and others to indulge in cosmic vibes!!

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Yes...but it specifically refers to a Flower Power groovy orgy and didn't
# necessarily have to involve sex, but often did. People today don't have
# love-ins anymore. Tupperware parties maybe....

Under the influence of a fantastic
amount of TRENDY CHEMICAL AMUSEMENT
AID, they proceed to perform lewd
acts, rip each other off for small
personal possessions, and dance
with depraved abandon in the vicinity
of a six-foot pile of transistor radios
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
each one tuned to a different station).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This is an oblique reference to the music of recently-deceased avant-garde
# composer John Cage. One of his works was for 6 radios each tuned to a
# different station.

GRECGERY doesn't realize
He has concealed himself
Inside the very mouth of
BILLY THE MOUNTAIN!

#CC
# See _Just Another Band From L.A. N&C.

HO! HO! HO!

And, as you all know,
Whenever BILLY laughs,
Rocks and boulders hack up,
And the air for miles around
Is filled with tons of dust,
Forming a series of huge
BROWN CLOUDS!

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?
HO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
BETTER ASK A PHILOSTOPHER 'N SEE WHAT HE SAYS!
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I think the philostopher is just some guy who gives you a bunch of non-sense
# answers about life to part you with your money. Today were have phone-in
# psychics!
#
# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# It's a corruption of the word "philosopher." This is another thing that's
# a bit too elaborate to explain here, but Americans have a fine tradition of
# paying certain people (television evangelists, psychologists, etc.) huge
# sums of money to tell them things that their own common sense would tell
# them. Fuck knows why.
#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>
# While I don't know of any textual CCC clues in this passage (aside from
# the obvious Billy The Mountain Connection), the music which accompanies
# this bit is a direct quotation from "The Grand Wazoo" occurring 3:16 into
# "For Calvin (And His Next Two Hitch-Hikers)".

BY THE CHINESE POLICE
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# No. [ Have they such sqaud in LA? ] It's forbidden (unwritten) to break
# things down by country of origin, except to describe food. You can have
# Chinese food, but you're a bigot if you refer to that group of people as
# Chinese.

And, furthermore, this information
could be HIS,
If only GREGGERY would attend a
'SPECIAL THERAPEUTIC GROUP
ASSEMBLY'
(Classes now forming),
And available at a special
low introductory fee. . .

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# Yes. That's their fee. They tease you that they have the information
# first, you pay, they talk until they reach a point where they have something
# else to deliver, and then they withhold that until you pay again. This way
# you pay and pay and pay. It's unbelievable how many people get suckered
# into this.

And now, here he is,
'The Greatest Living PHILOSTO-
PHER Known to Mankind',
QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: whatthat <what...@nando.net>
# The name reminds me of Billy James Hargis. This was one of those TV
# evangelists who had a huge church in Oklahoma, and he went about seducing
# members of his church, male and female. Some couple he married divulged
# to each other on their wedding night that they'd both fucked him, and
# that's how he got exposed. He managed to cover it up and I think he's
# still going at it, but not on the level of Swaggert or Pat Robertson.
# This stuff all happened about 1975, and it's amazing he managed to blow
# it over (no pun intended) considering that bisexuality was still looked
# on as some sort of perversion.

"Folks,
As you can see for yourself.
The way this clock over here
is behaving,
TIME IS OF AFFLICTION!
Now this might be cause for alarm
Among a portion of you, as,
From a certain experience,
I TEND TO PROCLAIM:
'THE EONS ARE CLOSING'!"

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# I would appreciate further info on whether this is an actual person or
# perhaps a twisted version of the name of some noteworthy person (or
# neither). The overall quotation ties in with another bit from the liner
# notes on "Sleep Dirt":
#
# "The Eons are closing...200 years ago (September 25, 1791) exactly
# 12 amendments to the Constitution of the United States were referred to
# the states for ratification. 10 were approved by December 15, 1791,
# and of course we here from a certain experience have come to know them as
# the Bill of Rights."

Make your checks payable to

'QUENTIN ROBERT DeNAMELAND,
Greatest Livin Philostopher
Known to Mankind'!

WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE CLOUDS THESE DAYS?
WHO IS MAKING THOSE NEW BROWN CLOUDS?
IF YOU ASK A PILOSTOPHER, HE'LL SEE
THAT YOU PAYS!

Lemme Take You To The Beach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can I kiss you,
Maybe I'll just hold your handy.
Lemme take you to the beach again,
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Lemme take you to the beach again,
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Have a freak out!
Later we'll peak out
^^^^^^^^

# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# "Peak Out" might mean to have fun. We used to call restriction "grounding",
# as in "You're grounded!" "Aw, Dad!" Later of course, we'd sneak out.

You're on restriction,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So you'll probably sneak out!

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# "You're on restriction" refers to a common punishment
# tactic practised by bewildered parents trying to come to grips with the
# rebellious nature of their teenage offspring. If you break "the rules",
# you run the risk of being "put on restriction", which has many meanings.
# Some of these are probably:
# 1. You can't go out at night to hang out with your friends and do "fun
# stuff".
# 2. You can't watch TV.
# 3. You can't <fill in the blank with the "fun thing" you like to do>.
# A time-honored tradition among teenagers who have been "put on restriction"
# is to defy the parental authority figures and sneak out of the house in
# order to surreptitiously enjoy "the joys of youth".

RDNZL
~~~~~

# From: ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)

# My guess at this is: Ruth Doesn't Need Zappa's Lyrics.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# I agree with this. This studio version of RDNZL was recorded after the tour
# in 1974 that put RDNZL on "Roxy & Elsewhere" and "Helsinki". I think that
# RDNZL was a track that was recorded during the "One Size Fits All" session
# (in 1975 after the the band learned how to play the songs REALLY good on
# tour in 1974 -- check out how much faster "Helsinki" is than "Roxy" since
# it's later in the tour -- Ruth can't even keep up on the "Helsinki" version
# of Montana!) but never made it on the record. At the end of Inca Roads,
# they say "On Ruth, that's Ruth!". I guess if RDNZL was played right after
# Inca Roads, or if Ruth was showcased during the tour on Inca Roads and
# RDNZL, it might back this up.
#
# From: <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
# That's a good one! When I first saw the title on Studio Tan as "Redunzl",
# I always assumed that it was a pun on Rapunzel ("the chick with the long
# hair," as Peter Wolf - the J. Geils frontman, not the ex-FZ keyboardist -
# once put it). For some reason, that interpretation has stuck with me.
#
# From: Mark Kemper <7230...@CompuServe.COM>
# RNDZL = Your automatic gear shift. Reverse, Neutral, Drive, 2, 1

#
# From: ja...@astro.as.utexas.edu (James McCartney)

# Oh yeah, (sorry to post twice) the song's name is RDNZL, not RNDZL.
# I've never seen a car that had the gears in RDN21 order.
#
# From: hac...@python.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
# Heh, whenever I see that song title, I always think: "Ruth, Napolean, Duke,
# Zappa..." Dunno what the L could be, though. :)

#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Martyn Dryden")

# I recall an FZ explanation based on the idea that if the Z were a 2 then it
# would be like the legend on a car's automatic transmission control, ie
# Reverse, Drive, Neutral, 2, Low. Who would guess it could inspire a song?
# No-one would guess. Sorry to say I've no documentation of that, though.

#
# From: "Ottis R." <BO...@UNB.CA>

# I believe all (certainly most) automatics have neutral between reverse and
# drive (RNDZL vs. RDNZL). Hmmmmm .... maybe this is the real reason Frank s
# topped driving.

JOE'S GARAGE
============

Notes and Comments
ver.03-March-1996

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...it is my responsibility to enforce
all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility
to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various
ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually
lead to *The Death Penalty* (or affect your parents' credit rating). Our
criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong
things...and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force
called MUSIC!

#CC
# This is one of the Frank's most favorite idea he toyed so much.
# One of the earliest known speculation on and demonstartion of the criminal
# nature of music can be found in great FZ classic movie _200 Motels_.
# There was erected and shown for the world the special government
# institution - The Reorientational Facility (erected at great expance
# to bring about the final solution to the orchestra question), in other
# words to give the guys like Joe a chance in the life
# So check the MOVIE! and _Strictly Genteel_ part of 200 Motels N&C

I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if
you choose a career in MUSIC...*The WHITE ZONE is for loading and
unloading only...if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE...

# From: johns...@delphi.com (John V. Scialli)

# ...its the perpetual PA announcement made at curbside at Los Angeles
# Airport (LAZ). You have to use the white curb for discharging and picking
# up passengers.

#
# From: bza...@fres2.glfc.forestry.ca (Brian Zavitz)

# Also imagine how many times Frank would have heard this over the years as
# he came home from touring. Talk about conceptual continuity.

#
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# Check out the movie "Airplane" (by Zucker-Zucker-Abraham, with Leslie
# Nielsen). You'll also hear this announcement, only the two announcers start
# argueing over the PA, whether the white zone or the red zone is for
# loading & unloading only. It's deadfunny.

#
# From: ro...@teleport.com (Sam &/or Karen Rouse)

# I think it's just another example of hapless citizens being herded like
# sheep and forced into compliance with the Doctrine of Portion Controlled
# Servings (plus, I think in the context of the JG story, it gives the
# Central Scrutinizer an ostensible reason for hanging around to keep an eye
# on things).
#
# From: mar...@aol.com (MarkJX)
# The white zone and its omnipresent auditory reminder is a metaphor for
# conformity and "following the rules" (after all, let's get serious. Who
# uses the white zone JUST for loading and unloading? Don't you actually
# SIT there for an hour or two waiting for your loved ones' late plane?).
# Joe was (according to TCS) pretty fucked up. Is it possible that
# society's ever present pressure for conformance ate away at our
# preposterous protagonist until he finally goes over the edge and "hocks
# his imaginary guitar" and gets a GOOD JOB!
#

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# Well, go over to John Wayne Airport sometime and you'll have to agree,
# it's a way of life!
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Frank and band had to have spent a lot of time in airports. it could have
# been something to associate being in the band. there are a lot of loading
# zones in busy downtown areas of large cities as well. there was a band
# in san francisco called 'the loading zone', so it is a well-known image.

Joe's Garage
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
And a cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said "Fender Champ"
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# this is an early fender amplifier much revered by anyone who started
# playing guitar in that time period (50's - 60's). it is a small little amp,
# i think first sold as a starter amp, now they are considered vintage,
# although i think they have been reissued.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Fender is the famous electric guitar company that produces such models as
# the Telecaster and Stratocaster. They also make amplifiers, and the "Champ"
# is (was) one of their models.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# ... it was a small, mobile amp that Fender put out years ago. Kind of
# the pignose of the early 60's.

#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# Sure was - it was their entry level amp, just big enough to enclose
# the 10 or 12 inch speaker it held. I think it might have had a tremelo
# effect on it, but definitely no reverb. Looked liked a standard Fender
# amp with the plate for controls and input, and then that patented
# Fender grillcloth over the front.

And a second hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# The wammy or "twang" bar is a movable handle that raises the bridge and
# puts a springlike tension on the strings. A simple and inexpensive effect
# still in use today.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# the tremolo bar, not invented, but perhaps improved by leo fender so
# that dick dale and other surf guitarists found it usable to such an
# extent that it became part of the genre. now called a whammy bar,
# heavy metal players use it mainly to 'dive-bomb'. the stratocaster
# (strat) was invented by leo fender.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# A vibrato bar. For other uses, see "Church Chat" on YCDTOSA Volume 4.
#
# Here is it, Charles
# "FZ: ...sometimes people say
# That if you fuck somebody, it's a sin.
# This may or may not be true.
# This boy not only fuck somebody with his organ,
# But he also fuck the girl with the guitar
# With an umbrella, with a zucchini, with a shoe
# With an enema bag
# (What else you do?
# Vai: A vibrato bar)
# FZ: A vibrato bar
# And some people say this is a sin"

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# A whammy bar is also known as a vibrato bar. It tightens or loosens the
# strings all together, giving you a slight dip or rise in pitch without
# using the tuning keys. When the bar is grasped and yanked repeatedly, it
# gives you a vibrato sound. For that it's primarily used by the
# techically-impaired, since such bluesmen as B.B. King have demonstrated that
# you can get just as good or better effects using the fretting hand only.
# Whammy bars are mainly used nowadays for showy special effects, a la Jimmy
# Page or Eddie Van Halen. (Or Steve Vai.)

At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a
respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O) joins in the song...
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# This is a joke about the rock group Toto (pronounced the same as Toad-O).
# Toads are similar to frogs and in western culture are considered slightly
# repulsive. Someone who is toad-like could be either repulsive or diminutive.
#
# See comments to the song number 6 _On The Bus_

Larry:
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
^^^^ ^^^
# It's common knowledge that all his life FZ (being incurable nicotine addict
# himself and despite enormous popularity in psychedelic oriented circles :-)
# strongly voiced against drug usage. Yes, but may be it's interesting to know
# that his earliest public anti-drug statements dated October, 1966. Here is a
# quote (as given by D.G.Walley in his NCP book p.65) from LA Free Press.
#
# WE [MOI], AS A GROUP, DO NOT RECOMMEND...
# VERILY, _WE REPUDIATE_ ANY _ANIMAL/MINERAL
# /VEGETABLE/SYNTHETIC SUBSTANCE, VEHICLE and/or
# PROCEDURE WHICH MIGHT TEND TO REDUCE THE _BODY,
# MIND OR SPIRIT_ OF ANY INDIVIDUAL (any true
# individual) TO A STATE OF _SUB-AWARNESS_ OR
# INSENSITIVITY ... that is to say
#
# WE ARE HERE TO _TURN YOU LOOSE
# NOT TURN YOU ON_
#

So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N' we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits 'N' Beatle Boots
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# See comments on _Carolina Hard Core Ecstasy_ in Bongo Fury N&C

'N' a sign on the back of the car
'N' we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
^^^^^^^^
# Is there any basic difference between Go-Go and A-Go-Go trend ?-)

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Nope. "A-Go-Go" tends to be found more in the _names_ of go-go
# establishments, meaning "you will find it here." Something like "a la
# carte."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# To a degree, yes. A Go-Go bar had women dancing up on pedestals, or even
# in cages. "A-go-go" derived from the same phenomenon, but became a catch
# all marketing term for "modern and cool"
#
# See also comments to _Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance_ in WOIFTM N&C.

Officer Butzis:
^^^^^^^
This is the Police
Give yourself up
We have the garage surrounded

# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# Butzis (? a pun on "Butt Zits") was, I believe, the nickname of Al Malkin
# (who emits the last "Zetta" on Joe's Garage. According to Ben Watson, Zappa
# had tapes and tapes of Malkin in a variety of sordid situations, which he
# was thinking of editing into another project. He's also referred to in the
# long version of "Yellow Snow" on YCDTOSA vol. 1, and "Mudd Club" on YAWYI.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Album: Tinsel Town Rebellion
# Track: Peaches III
#
# Let's hear it for another great Italian, Alvin Lee, ladies and
# gentlemen... Vinnie, Butzis, Vinnie's girlfriend, Butzis' girlfriend,
# Patty, Denny, uh, Marty...
#
# Album: You Are What You Is
# Track: Mudd Club
#
# MUDD CLUB
# Al Malkin's down there now
# Looking for a virgin with nice breath...
#

Mrs. Borg:
Everday this goes on around here!

Officer Butzis:
We will not harm you, or maim you
*(SWAT Team 4, move in!)*
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it stands for Special Weapons And Tactical team. SWAT teams are
# special police units used to control terrorism, hostage situations, or
# some other crazy problem that large cities are bound to have. Like poor
# public transportation. ;^)

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Special Weapons and Tactics. An elite squad for use in the most dangerous
# situations. Its use here is deliberate overkill.
#
# From: Dave Lane <dal...@bbn.com>
# S.W.A.T. is an acronym for Special Weapons and Tactics, a name given to a
# special heavily-armed unit of big-city police forces.
# I first heard the term used in the TV series "Adam-12" in the late 60's
# or early 70's. *(Conceptual Continuity Clue: Ike's "1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,
# see the NIGNINT" and/or "1-Adam-12, see the pecker", I forget which songs
# (Tinseltown?) On that show, the police dispatcher would always radio
# officers Reed & Malloy with "1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, see the man, 211 in
# progress, etc...".)*
# Also, there was a US TV show in the 70's called S.W.A.T.

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut...and told him to
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A do-nut (dough-nut) is a pastry that is shaped like a hockey puck but
# with the centre missing (tastes about the same too). They are sweet and
# fattening. The point here is that the counselor is basically ineffective
# and the best they can do is to offer Joe a confection.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# A common police officer snack.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# In u.s. donuts and coffee are always part of friendly counseling.
# it's so predictable it's funny.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# ... often eaten by dunking in coffee.
#
# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# ... and also being impailed on a KKK pointy hat in the video for "You Are
# What You Is".

Catholic Girls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A festive CYO Party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for the broom
^^^
#:-)) From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# Is it just stand for Catholic Youth Organisation?

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# As far as I know.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think so, yes.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# I believe so.

dance, the *"Hokey Pokey,"* baked goods, & FATHER RILEY making sure the
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# The hokey-pokey is a stupid dance from the 1950's. It is fun for kids
# and doesn't allow body contact, so it is "safe" for the kids to do as
# they will not be touching each other.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# A dance for young children, arranged in a circle. As I recall, the words
# go: "You put your right foot in/You take your right foot out/You put your
# right foot in/And you shake it all about/You do the hokey pokey and you
# turn yourself about/That's what it's all about." Repeat, substituting other
# body parts. I remember hearing some Los Angeles new wave band performing a
# disco version, circa 1980, with "groove thang" and "booty".

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# It's a dance. A dance for really young children. This is a statement of
# how repressed these catholic organization are if they are holding a "dance"
# and having TEENAGERS do the "hokey pokey".

Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take *The Vow*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I'm not sure what vow is being referred to, but it definitely means a vow
# in the Catholic Church. It could be a vow of celibacy, similar to what
# Catholic Nuns take.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Of course! they take them when they become nuns.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# The "vow" is the vow of chastity that nuns take when they enter the
# convent. In this context the chorus is wondering where all the fuckable
# Catholic girls are - there don't seem to be any at the dances. Not every
# Catholic girl is expected or even encouraged to take the vow - there would
# be no Catholic children if they did.

Warren:
Carmenita Scarfone!

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it's just the name of one of the Catholic Girls. The name is
# definitely Italian, and a lot of Catholics are Italian, and I have known
# quite a few Italian Catholic Girls. Frank isn't making this up here,
# this stereotype is very common.

Warren:
*Toni Carbone!*

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# There are several names that become feminine when the letter y is changed
# to i. Tony to Toni, Terry to Terri, there are others.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Toni, short of Antonia - common Italian girl's nickname. If it were male,
# it would be spelled Tony, short for Anthony.

Joe:
*VD vowdy vootie*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# VD stands for venerial disease (it can be any sexually transmitted disease).
# It is pronounced vee-dee. Vee-dee vowdy-voodie just sounds kinda neat.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# Yes, but probably a pun as well on the television show howdy doody.
#
# From: Biffyshrew (biffy...@aol.com) wrote:
# The word "vootie" was a catch phrase of some old (Cotton Club-era?) jazz
# guy who currently smells funny, but shamefully I can't remember who.
# Someone in the vein of Cab Calloway. Anyone else know who I mean?
#

# From: boil...@aol.com (Boil That)

# Slim Gaillard (spelling?). Andy Partridge alerted me to his existence. I
# don't own any of Slim's work yet but Andy's description of him was
# hysterical - a definite subject for further research.

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# Mike K.: yes, Slim Gaillard was the "vootie" guy! Thank you. I'll dance
# a slim galliard in your honor. "Cee-ment mixer, put-ti put-ti..."
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (David Lynch)
# Now that you mention it, I recall reading a Mad Magazine parody of Dave
# Garroway's show, in which the word "vootie" occured quite often.
#
# From: Paul Barnard <pa...@pbmarket.demon.co.uk>
# I met Slim Gaillard (sp ?) in about 1982 when he played a gig at Bristol
# University England. He was at that time a very nice old man (is he still
# alive ?) and certainly kept us entertained with what can only be described
# as funny pot stories. He was appointed an undergraduate 'minder' to look
# after him before and after the gig, and he spent most of the evening trying
# (succesfully) to get this pretty young girl to sit on his lap and wriggle !

Central Scrutinizer:
But one night at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
^^^^^^^^^^
In order to get a pass

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Most cities have an armory which is a large building owned by the army
# (or armed forces) where weapons and soldiers can be moved to in times of
# war or crisis. Usually the place is empty except for "army cadets" (kids
# who are pretend-soldiers, the ones who don't join the CYO ;^), so this
# big hall is a good place to hold a dance or rock concert.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Seems that in a small town it's as likely a place as any to hold a fairly
# large concerts. School gymnasiums are also often used.

Crew Slut
~~~~~~~~~

kneel with their little pink mouths open near the crew bus, hoping
to save the price of admission by performing acts of Hooverism on the
^^^^^^^^^
jolly lads who set up the P.A. System.

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Hoover is a company that makes vacuum cleaners. To hoover means to suck.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# obviously the vacuum cleaner, but lately a new pun has possibilites as
# rumors gain credence that f.b.i. director hoover was homosexual.
# ( i shouldn't have used the word obviously, hoover has become another word
# for vacuum cleaner here in the u.s., it's like second nature to use it
# even if the v.c. is another brand.)
#
# See also comments to #9 _Scrutinizer Postlude__

Larry:
CREW SLUT
*Add water makes its own sauce*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Be a CREW SLUT
*So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# The "add water" is from commercials for the dog food Gravy Train. It's a
# dry food and if you add water it turns into a brown muck that dogs seem to
# like.
# "Call before midnight tonight" is a commonly-heard statement in
# commercials for stuff that is usually sold-only-on-cable-TV, like the
# Pocket Fisherman. Back in the 60s and 70s you'd probably only hear it late
# at night or early in the morning. It never meant anything - they'd run the
# same commercial for 6 months and it was still saying "Call before midnight
# tonight to get our free bonus!" Just a sucker scam.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yes. Add water, makes it's own sauce was from a DOG FOOD commercial. The
# Dry Food is pretty unappetizing, but by adding water, it becomes a gourmet
# taste treat for phydeaux.
# If you listen carefully to the intro to the song "Joe's Garage", you can
# hear one of them say "Makes It's Own Sauce, Take Eight"

So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i think this is an old term for the sound man. rather than what we know
# as sound boards now, then was known as the mixer.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# The sound man who plays with all the knobs that adjust the relative volume
# of the different instruments. In 1988 it was Harry Andronis (cf. the
# version of this song on YCDTOSA, Volume 6).
# The technical term for face-riding is cunnilingus.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

#CC Lonesome Cowboy Burt, Ride My Face to Chicago
# A very common expression for cunnilingus
# Monty Python: Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me
#
# Mark & Howard: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT
# Don'tcha get his feelin' hurt
#
# Jimmy: Come on this place
# An'I'll buy you taste,
# N'you can sit on my face,
# Where's my waitress?

Be a CREW SLUT
*Just follow the magic footprints*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Be a CREW SLUT
*It's a way of life*
*I ain't gonna squash it*
*And you don't need to wash it!*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I don't know what the "footprints" is referring to. Maybe he's just
# showing her where to go. "You don't need to wash it" refers to the
# crew's need for pussy. They want to get laid so bad, they don't care how
# dirty the pussy is. If the girls are dirty, they may have VD, but the
# crew doesn't seem to care. Until it starts to hurt when they pee.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# I have another picture before my eyes. Follow the magic footprints is
# a mockery on some superstar story of success. Just follow her magic
# footprints and you'll become another blow job master. And about washin'
# Wasn't it prick you shouldn't supposed to wash beautiful secretions aroma
# from?-)))

Mary:
Eh, hah ha, I'm into leather...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Larry:
*That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew Love leather...*
^^^^^^^^^^^

Mary:
*And rubber...*
^^^^^^^
Larry:
*Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*With a hair dryer...*

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Maybe not S&M, but just strange toys during sex. Rubber shrink tubing is
# used in chemistry labs and hospitals. When it is heated (with something
# like a hair dryer), it shrinks. I'm trying to think if Mary would be
# wearing the tubing when they shrink it, or if she is just tied up with it.
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# when setting up a sound system there are many cables. for safety and
# to easily trouble shoot cables, are grouped using shrink-tubing.
# shrink tubing can be shrunk using a hair dryer although there are
# commerical grade heat guns that look like hair dryers, and so
# carry the name.

Road Crew Chorus:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench

# From: pet...@cogsci.ed.ac.uk (Peter Hipwell)
# Sportsmen not participating in a match (waiting for substitution) are
# "on the bench". I don't know if you can construe "spot on the bench" as
# referring to a "wet patch" as well as just position. A wrench is a "tool"
# as well as a "violent twist" or "sudden dislocation" which all fit with the
# Crew Slut theme (jeez, I'm starting to sound like Ben Watson).
#
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i always think of Mr. Goodwrench, the general motors marketing plan to
# bring more business to their shops.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# It's another reference that if she screwa a crew member, she gets to know
# the band up close. I think "trading her spot on the bench" refers to
# giving up her seat in the audience in order to get more personal.

Larry:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You'll love it...

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)

# The Telefunken U-47 is an old tube condenser microphone that looks
# something like a Neumann U-87 condenser, or a Neumann U-67 tube condenser.
# I wouldn't say they are phallic looking, but they are large and "tubular".
# Great sounding mikes by the way. (And very expensive.)
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# OK let's clear this up... The U-47 is a phallus-shaped microphone.
# The leather has NOTHING to do with the microphone or with a phallus.
# Mary (the girl who was stuck to the seat on Phydeaux 3) is into leather.
# So the present from the boys in the band is a penis-like object and Mary
# is asking if she can get some leather (clothing? bondage?) at the same
# time that she is getting the present.
#
# From: line...@delphi.com
# The U47 by Telefunken is a VERY expensive relic from the days of vacuum
# tube amplification systems and anyone fortunate enough to own one MIGHT let
# you look at it (from a distance) for a price. Actually touching one is out
# of the question. Every one I have seen has been hand carried and kept under
# lock and key. They are a condenser microphone with a vacuum tube preamp and
# have what is subjectively called a "warm sound" compared to modern devices.
# The U47 is invaluable when recording a no-talent puke with a "fingernails on
# a chalkboard" type voice, as it can almost make them sound human. It can
# make a talented performer sound superhuman and a quality instrument sound
# like angels singing.
# Several decades ago, Telefunken was bought out by, or changed their name
# to, Neuman (pronounced Noy_man) and released the U87, a modern version with
# squarish edges and a solid state preamp. They are expensive but very common
# and are seen in radio stations and in rock videos, usually with a round,
# white "spit-screen" in front of them.
# If you have a chance to get either one TAKE IT! Even if you are not a
# musician. A U47 would probably get you a lifetime of backstages passes or
# at least the first pick of the groupies.

The Wet T-shirt Contest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#It's become _Fembot In A Wet T-Shirt_ on CD. So here goes an explanation.
#

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# OK, here's the scoop: In issue 3 of Society Pages, the amazing Den Simms,
# Rob Samler, & Eric Buxton pose the question to Frank. (sorry guys, for
# excerpting w/o permission, but this is an important question! Also, you
# guys are behind the times, never having mentioned the alt.fan.frank-zappa
# thing in your mag. so there)
#
# Rob asks, "What is a Fembot in a wet t-shirt?"
# FZ replies, "Do you remember the Six Million Dollar Man...?"
# RS: Uh-huh . sure.
# FZ: ... there was an episode where they were being attacked by
# fembots...these 'Female Robots"...[if] she enters a wet T-shirt
# contest, what happens?
# DS: Sparks fly.
# ...
# RS: So, why did you change the title on the CD?
# FZ: Why, what does it say on the CD?

#:-))))

And it's
WET T-SHIRT TIME AGAIN
I know you want someone to show you some tit!
BIG ONES!
WET ONES!
BIG WET ONES!

At this point, FATHER RILEY *(who had been recently de-frocked for not
meeting his quota, and has grown his hair out and bought a groovy sport
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# frank is making a joke. salesmen have to meet sales quotas, and in
# a sense (catholic) fathers, preachers, and pastors are all salesmen.
# in other words, didn't convince a lot of people to convert.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# His flock (congegration at the church) became to small, so they kicked
# him out.

coat and moved to Miami and changed his name to BUDDY JONES)* steps onto
the crowded bandstand in his exciting new role as a *WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
EMCEE...*
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# MC (em-cee) Master of Ceremonies.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Coopted by rappers much later to mean Mic Controller.

Buddy Jones:
Oh...you were the girl stuck to seat 38 *Phydeaux III...* why don't you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# The real name of FZ tour bus. Check out _Stink-Foot_ entry in
# Apostrophe N&C.

Toad-O Line
~~~~~~~~~~~

# It's called _On The Bus_ on CD version

Whereupon the house combo at the *Brasserie* drifts into a modified
version of one of Toad-O's big hit numbers
^^^^^^

# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>

# If you notice in that solo ("Toad-O-Line"/"On The Bus") Frank is quoting
# "Tow The Line" by Toto. Get it? He's playing the melody REALLY SLOWLY
# at first, and then it goes into his solo.
# Now since those of you who were born in the mid-70's probably don't
# remember that song (it was a truly remarkable piece of pomposity -- made
# Styx seem **deep**), I would guess Frank had you guys in the audience for
# this item and changed the title so that it might make a little bit more
# sense for you. I remember one of the first times I heard it, the person
# I was living with at the time had the radio on and Frank and Toto were
# battling it out. Toto was made up of session musicians (David Paich,
# Jeff Porcaro, and David Porcaro were all members), and judging from my
# sporadic involvement with that scene (I used to be a gorilla in a
# semi-famous theatrical rock group -- not saying who, but I'll give you a
# hint -- their most famous character was based on the New York Dolls) they
# all behaved like "rock stars" and CBS paid for it all.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# "Tow the line?" First of all, the expression is "Toe the line" Secondly,
# the SONG is "Hold the Line"

#
# From: Keith Roberts <what...@nando.net>

# You're right about the title. I don't make a habit of listening to that
# thing anymore than I have to. My mistake. At any rate that's the basis
# of the solo. Maybe I was thinking more of the pun "Toad-O Line" vs.
# "Tow The Line" and what it really is "Hold The Line."
#

# BTW, was it a CC?
# JABFLA _Billy The Mountain_
# Yes, it was about three o'clock in the afternoon when little Howard
# Kaplan was sitting on his porh ("Toto...!") just playing ("Come here,
# Toto...!") and having a nice time wit his ("Toto...!") accordion
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Toto is also the name the dog in the classic movie "The Wizard of Oz".
# The most famous line from that movie is when Dorothy says to her dog:
# "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore". Maybe some more CC with
# Lumpy Gravy with the exchange "How much?" "They're from Kansas."
# Maybe not.
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Toto was just a reference to the dog in _The Wizard Of Oz_, which the
# rock supergroup Toto subsequently named themselves after.
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# I read somewhere that Toto actually considered the source of their
# name to be the expression "in toto" (complete), not the dog from The Wizard
# Of Oz.

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...Meanwhile, Joe hears about Mary's
naughty exploits. He falls in with a fast crowd and gets seduced by a
girl who works at the Jack-In-The-Box, named Lucille, who gives him an
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
unpronounceable disease...

# American fast food place. See _Billy The Mountain_ entry in JABFLA N&C
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Seems to be specific to the West Coast. I've never seen one, in any case.

Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
Why does it hurt when I pee?

# From: aum...@halcyon.com (Brad Aumick)
# I got this out of the book "Road Mangler Deluxe", by Phil Kaufman (Franks
# road manager in 1979), pages 159-160:
#
# We got stuck in a bus on the way to a huge concert (125,000 people) in
# Saarbrucken, Germany. We were playing with Joan Baez, Ten Years After, The
# Tubes and others. I said to Frank, 'We got to get there two to three hours
# early because it's a small town. " He said, "Oh, fuck that. " So the tour
# bus got stuck in traffic. We were going through the traffic and I had my
# Wild Turkey sandwich. I was sitting in the back and having a little drink.
# I went into the toilet which was located in the middle of the bus. Halfway
# through my piss, I jokingly started screaming and everybody was looking at
# me. I cried, "Frank, why does it hurt when I pee?" and everybody laughed.
# By the time we had gotten through the crowd to the venue, he had written a
# song called "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" scored all the parts, given it
# out to all the guys in the band and made them play it that day. Needless
# to say, the band told me to shut my fucking mouth in the future. The song
# is on an album called "Joe's Garage" and if you see that album, you'll
# find a credit on the back which reads, "Special thanks to Phil Kaufman for
# asking the eternal question: Why does it hurt when I pee?"

Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOE is so disoriented by his disease, he goes in the other room and plays
the title cut from an old Jeff Simmons album, and sings along with it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Jeff Simmons: Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
# Straight STS 1057, 1969

Scrutinizer Postlude
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...again, Hi!...It's me again, the
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...Joe says Lucille has messed his mind up, but, was
it the girl or was it the music? As you can see...girls, music, disease,
heartbreak...they all go together...Joe found out the hard way, but his
troubles were just beginning...his mind was so messed up...he could
hardly do nothin'...He was in a quandary...being devoured by the swirling
cesspool of his own steaming desires...the guy was a wreck...so...what
does he do? For once, he does something SMART...he goes out...and pays a
lot of money to *L. Ron Hoover*...at the *First Church of Appliantology!*
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Joe.P...@launchpad.unc.edu (joseph palmer)
# ... that's just who he's insulting... L Ron Hubbard the man who's made 2
# religions, both for personal profit!!
# Kind of an asshole, and just the kind of person FZ liked to insult.
#
# From: dsch...@solaria.mil.wi.us (David E. Schultz)
# Well, sure FZ's playing a work game on the names Hubbarb-Hoover, but
# considering L. Ron is with the First Church of Applientology (as opposed
# to Scientology), what more appropriate name could FZ pick than that of the
# most noble of appliences, the Hoover vacuum cleaner. Think of how many
# Zappa songs feature vacuum cleaners . . .
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Zappa was critical of Scientology as early as 1969 in concerts (I put a
# quote on St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage relating to it.) Some lines in
# Cosmik Debris can also be interpreted as critical of Scientology. Of
# course, we on the net know what the $cientologists have been up to lately..
#
#CC
# Album: Just Another Band From L.A.
# Track: Billy The Mountain
#
# ...he bent over and put his head between his legs and said in very
# clear, impressive, Ron-Hubbard-type voice: "New York"...

A Token Of My Extreme
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# "A token of my extreme" is a play on words with the old phrase
# "A token of my esteem" which is something someone would say if they were
# giving a small gift to a person they admire or are proud of.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# It's the theme from early 70's. You can heard it on couple of bootlegs,
# for example
# Untitled. 8-Sept-1974. Bologna, Italy
# and
# with Captain Beefheart harmonica and words
# from
# Don't you be Tarot-fied
# It's just a token of my extreme
# to
# And you might be surprised
# At what you find when ya go!
# On _A Token Of My Extreme_ 11-Apr-1975. Claremont College
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# This might be considered an overly picky point, but there is no Claremont
# College. Bridges Auditorium is physically located at Pomona College (in the
# town of Claremont, California), and run by the Claremont Colleges, a group
# of six affiliated colleges (none of which is named Claremont College).
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# "A Token Of My Extreme" appeared (with words - I didn't check to see
# how they compare to the JG version) as a set-opener during the Bongo Fury
# tour. The earlier vamp incarnation appears on YCDTOSA 2.

L. Ron Hoover:
Don't you be Tarot-fied
^^^^^
It's just a token of my extreme

# It seems to have a special meaning and be a CC
# Look, it's from Overnite Sensation's _Camarillo Brillo_ song
#
# She said she was
# A Magic Mama
# A she could throw a mean Tarot
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Tarot cards are a pack of 78 illustrated cards. In the United States they
# are associated only with fortune-telling, though I believe in Italy they
# are used for playing games.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# tarot (tare-o) cards are used to predict the future.
# tarot-fied (tare-o-fide) is double-entendre with "terrified" and meaning
# a person who has had their future read with tarot cards (tarot-fied).
#
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# "Tarot" is a kind of occult-new-age-mystical thing, in which someone
# takes out a special deck of cards with extra cards (21 face cards and I
# think 40 numbered suit cards), has you pick out 13, and then tells you
# what your personality/past/future/etc. will be from looking at the cards
# and the order you placed them in. Of course, it's just another religious
# superstition. I believe Tarot was trendy sometime in the '70s, though as
# a divination device it's pretty old- the Tarot deck was the ancestor of
# today's playing cards.

L. Ron Hoover:
If you been
Mod-O-fied
^^^^^^^^^^
It's an illusion, an yer in between

#CC:-)))

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Once again is it only me who sees the link between Joe and
# Evelyn, A Modified Dog of One Size Fits All fame ?-)

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# No, you are not alone.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I think it is different.

Stick It Out
~~~~~~~~~~~~

# Here we have another example of old material reusage in new conceptual
# context. Check out _YCDIOSA_ vol.1 or Swiss Cheese bootleg for the
# origianl sound and One Size Fits All N&C for comments on God's Sofa
# suite. Lyrics can be found in YCDIOSA N&C.

... so Joe's learned how to speak German,
he goes in this place and he sees these
little Kitchen Machineries dancing around
with each other, and he sees this one...
that looks like it's cross between an
industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
piggy bank with marital aids struck all
over ots boddy

#CC
# Compare it with Chunga's Revenge album sleeve note
#
# "... A Gypsy mutant vacuum cleaner dances about a mysterious night
# time camp fire. Testoons. Dozens of imported castanets, clutched
# by the horrible suction ot its heavy duty force, waving with
# marginal erotic abandon in the midnight autumn air"
#
# Also worth seeng 200 Motels movie _Penis Dimensions_ part with the
# green vacuum cleaner performing ritual _aber beklecker nicht das
# Sofa_ dance :-)
#
# Very interesting and I hope correct explanation of vacuum cleaners
# can be found in Dominique Chevalier book _Viva, Zappa!_ p.50
# " [in his Cucamonga studio] Paul Buff used to play every instrument
# himself, using overdubs and he perfected a way of recording on to
# acetate demo-discs in place of cassettes. The problem was that
# acetate discs were very easily damaged by dust and very highly
# inflamable. Because of this, a vacuum cleaner was vital for when
# Zappa and Buff took the acetates to record companies! Beefheart
# holds one such appliance on the inner cover of _Hot Rats_. From
# time to time Zappa and Buff set fire to stacks of old acetates at
# night, lighting up the whole neighbourhood. This inspired the
# vacuum cleaner stories on _Chunga's Revenge_ and _The Perfect
# Stranger_
#
# And here is it. _The Perfect Stranger_ hooverism exstravaganza
# verbatim from the cover
# "In THE PERFECT STRANGER, a door-to-door salesman, accompained by
# his faithul gypsy-mutant industrial vacuum cleaner (as per the
# interior illustration on the "CHUNGA'S REVENGE" album cover), cavorts
# licentuously with slovenly housewife.
# We here the door bell, the housewife's eybrows going up and down
# as she spies the nozzle through the ruffled curtain, the sound of the
# little bag of demonstration dirt' being sprinkled on the rug, and
# assorted bombastic interjection representing the spiritual qualities of
# chrome, rubber, electricity, and household tidiness. The entire
# transaction is being viewed from a safe distance by Patricia, the dog
# in the hairchair"
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Also, I have seen a video of Zappa at home in the late 1960's, and he
# uses an indusrial-strength vacuum cleaner on the breast of a woman
# (babysitter?) to make her nipple go erect. She likes it.

Whereupon, in oder to prove JOE
that he is no ordinary Appliance,
SY quotes a few lines of traditional
American Love Poetry...

Sy Borg:
What's a girl like you % Fillmore's
Doing in a place like this? % What Kind Of Girl Do You
Do you come here often? Think We Are quote
Wait a minute... !
I've got it... ! Sheik Yerboutie
You're an Italian... ! quote
What? You're Jewish? !
Love your nails... !
You must be a Libra... !
Your place or mine? !
Your place or mine? !
See the chrome *
Feel the chrome * Fillmore's
Touch the chrome * Bwana Dik quote
Heal the chrome *
See the screaming, *
Hot black steaming, *
Iridescent naugahyde python screaming *
Steam Roller!!! *

#CC
# From: sjg...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
# In the Joe's Garage version of "Stick It Out," as well as "Bwana Dik" on
# the Fillmore East album, this line is prefaced by the mini-Who/Tommy
# tribute (appropriate for a rock opera, I might comment):
#
# See the chrome
# Feel the chrome
# Touch the chrome
# Heal the chrome
#
# And even before that, Sy quotes from the little segue between "Dancin'
# Fool" and "Jewish Princess" with the "What's girl like you doing in a place
# like this..." which also links conceptually (by a large stretch of the
# imagination) to the program of the Fillmore East album. Of course, as many
# people have mentioned before, "Stick It Out" was around at the time of
# the Fillmore East concert as part of the Sofa suite.
#
# Check out also appropriate N&Cs and WOIFTM _Flower Punk_ entry
# especially:-)))

Sy Borg
~~~~~~~

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# A pun on cyborg, half man half machine of science fiction. From whence the
# borg of star trek the new generation.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Cyborg is short for "cybernetic organism". It refers to someone who is
# half-man, half-robot, like the Six Million Dollar Man on TV (see Fembot in
# a Wet T-Shirt).

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Cyborg - roughly the same thing as an android or robot. I think it was
# coined by a science fiction writer but I wouldn't know who.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# I think this was to give the little roto-plooker a sense of
# characterization by giving him a nice name and spoofing his robot anatomy
# while he was at it.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Cyborg is a word for a man/machine.
# Sy is a common Jewish American given name. Perhaps short for Simon.
# Remember that in Act 1 it's Mrs. Borg (who keeps her son, Sy, locked in the
# closet with the vacuum cleaner) who calls the police.
# This can't be the same Sy Borg. My guess is that things got shifted a
# little in the months that passed between Act I's release and the release of
# Acts II and III.

Dong Work For Yuda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Central Scrutinizer:
... Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all criminals
from the music business... you know... the who get caught... it's
a horrible place, painted all green inside
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Hey, look, what a great piece of FZ project/object life conceptual
# continuity. From _The Real Frank Zappa Book_ p.81
# "We got married a couple of days before I left for the first
# Eropean tour. She was nine months pregnant, with delivery imminent.
# We went to the New York City Hall, arriving just before closing time...
# We then rush over to one of the little "marrying cubicle". It
# was green inside, and remind me of a pool table.
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!!!-)

Father Riley B. Jones:
This a story 'bout Bald-Headed John.

# From the cover credentials
# All selections composed, arranged & conducted by Frank Zappa
# except "Dong Work For Yuda", for which John Smothers provided
# words (the good ones)

# From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
# I think John Smothers was Frank's bodyguard, which he hired after being
# knocked off stage in 1972. When Frank introduced the song on stage, he used
# to thank Smothers for his contributions to the english language. Does anyone
# know if JS appeared on stage on the acapella version, saying those weird
# lines (What's that coming out of your mouth, suh-limah?), or if it was
# someone in the band?
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
# It was someone in the band. (Bozzio, I believe.)
# John is John Smothers, Frank's bodyguard from circa '76 to the end of
# his touring career. The song is basically a collection of in-jokes about
# Smothers's bizarre approach to language. (Its relation to the Joe's Garage
# plot is tenuous at best, but what the hey - the performance is nice.)

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Smothers did not do the 88 tour. Apparantly he had become ill sometime
# after the 85 Senate hearings - you can still see him by FZ's side
# there.
#
# From: zd...@aol.com (ZDesk)
# John was Frank's bodygaurd for years. Apparently, he had a talent for
# turning funny little phrases, spoonerisms, and the like. He has one of
# the better lines in Baby Snakes: "This band is young........This band
# is...stupid"

Former Execs:
Dong Work for Yuda, Dong, Dong
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: she...@delphi.com
# I believe that John Smothers was "Yuda," and the "dong work" is a reference
# to some of the shit John talked (mostly around the "Baby Snakes" era with
# the likes of Terry-Ted Bozzio) about penis size (his, mostly), other band
# members' sexual preferences, and his overall loose grip on the English
# language. Most of the spoken word parts in the song, by Terry, are
# supposedly actual quotes of things John would say to fellow members of the
# touring ensemble. "Dong Work for Yuda" orignally appeared, I think, as a
# semi-acoustic/sung-harmony live bit (well, at least, I've got a 1977 boot
# with this on it).
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# The acapella version of "Dong Work for Yuda" on Apocrypha has Terry
# Bozzio singing.

#
# From: hac...@storm.cs.orst.edu (Dianne Hackborn)

# Well, 'Yuda' is you and 'dong work' encompasses the various activities
# involving a penis.

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Mike Keneally spoke about Yuda on a radio interview last year. Apparantly
# there was a Japansese promoter named Udo or similar and Smothers called him
# Yuda.

Former Execs:
He said Dong was Wong
^^^^
And Wong was Kong
^^^^
And Dong was Gong
^^^^

# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A dong is a penis. Joe is going to do some dong work for Yuda (Bald-headed
# John) in prison by bending over. Bald-headed John has the iron sausage,
# the Kong. Another classic movie is "King Kong" about a giant gorilla.
# So the Kong is a large dong.

Bald-Headed John:
Make way for the iron shaschige
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <har...@helios.phy.ohiou.edu>
# Sausage refers to its resemblence to a penus and relates to "the night of
# the iron sausage" in torture [ never stops. Zoot Allures] and hometown
# sausage jamboree, which occurs in tinsel town (I think) on humor.

Bald-Headed John:
Bartender, bring me a colado and milk
^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# A pina colada is a fancy ladies' drink. It usually comes with a little
# paper umbrella in the glass and is flavored with pineapple and coconut.
# Not the kind of drink you would expect Bald-headed John or John Smothers to
# order. Maybe John Smothers drank these and the band members thought it
# was funny?

Bald-Headed John:
On second thought, make that a water...
HtO
^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# H2O, Di-hydrogen oxide, water. John gets it wrong again. John orders
# the water instead of the coloda drink. When John Smothers is supposed to
# guarding Frank, he shouldn't be getting drunk.

Bald-Headed John:
Falcum!
Take me to the falcum!
^^^^^^
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# ... to paraphrase from memory a story Frank told : in '76 or
# '77, the band was going to play at the Falkonner Theatre (spelling?) in
# Copenhagen, and Frank and Smothers needed to take a taxi from the hotel to
# the venue. So Smothers gets in the front seat of the taxi and shouts
# "Falcum!". The driver has no idea what he means. Smothers repeats himself,
# and the driver still doesn't understand. Then Smothers shouts, "Take *me*
# to de Falcum!" The frightened driver gets up and *runs* from the taxi to
# the hotel lobby to try and find out what's going on from the hotel manager.
# Thus, "take me to the falcum."
# The above story doesn't work too well without the benefit of being able
# to hear Smothers's speaking style (he appears in parts of Baby Snakes), but
# hopefully this helps a little.
#
# From: tr...@ce.chalmers.se (Ulf Tropp)
# Zappa played at Falkonerteatret (which means the Falconer Theatre) 1988 too.
# Falcon/Falcum was the secondary Secret Word that night (primary was 'Air
# Hose'). I seem to remember a large sculpture of a falcon somewhere near/at
# the building.

Bald-Headed John:
I wave my bags
^^^^
Did you wave your'n
^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Presumably "I weighed my bags. Did you weigh yours?"

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Not a prertty picture, but I think he's talking about scrotums.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Maybe he's waving his large testicles? Did you wave yours?

#
# From: biffy...@aol.com (Biffyshrew)

# How about: "I weighed my bags, did you weigh yours?" A necessary
# preparation before boarding a plane.

Bald-Headed John:
This girl must be praketing richcraft
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Practicing witchcraft? Was her name Ethel The Tree ?-)
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# Debra Kadabra? Guacamole Queen? Camarillo Brillo?

Bald-Headed John:
Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# I don't know what he means here. He's probably referring to where he
# learned to be a bodyguard.

I just love the way these Copenhagens talk

# See *Falcum* comments above

Driver McDoodle

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Smotherism for telling the driver of the limo to take them to McDonalds
# restaurant.

Once a mumfth...
^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Once a month. As in period.

Keep It Greasy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe:
And dream of guitar notes
To go with the loading zone announcements

///\\\\\////\\\\///\\\\

# And here comes the guitar solo

# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)

# Along with the live effects which are realised through amps, pre-amps,
# modules and effect boxes, Frank used studio techniques like speeding up
# parts and using existing live tapes onto completely different parts (he
# called this technique Xenochrony I believe).
# Xenochrony: When the Zoot Allures album came out, there seemed to be a new
# approach to randomise and re-contextualising guitar parts: Zappa took an
# existing live solo from tape and dumped it on an existing track. The
# complete randomness of this technique was refined some years later and this
# made the guitar sounds on Joe's garage sound how they do. I assume there
# must be unreleased examples of this 'cause this wouldn't always work as well
# as it did on 'Friendly Little Fingers' having two different metres and
# different tempi... (the people who buy these records listen so
# carefully...). He also did this in 'Yo Mama', 'Rubber Shirt' and on most of
# the guitar solos from Joe's garage (not Watermelon...).

Joe:
Any kind
Of lube'll do
May be from another
Part of you
Lube from the North
Lube from the South
^^^^

# Obviously, it's just lubrication

#
# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Saliva and natural juices.
#
# From: Brian Zavitz <bza...@fres2.GLFC.Forestry.CA>
# North is the mouth. South is the other end.

Outside Now
~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
These executives have plooked the fuck out of me
^^^^^^^

# From: Paul.Re...@f222.n2613.z1.fidonet.org (Paul Remington)
# `Plook' is a slang word meaning to copulate, the act of sexual intercourse,
# or more simply put, to FUCK! :-)
#
# From: bo...@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu (John Smallberries)
# Plook: To sodomize; to give it or receive it in the rear-end.
#
# From: ais...@news.salford.ac.uk (Neil)
# Plook - To fuck someone up the arse
# Plooked - Having been fucked up the arse
# Plooking - Fucking someone up the arse
# Hey, it's the 20th century! No problem.

every exec knows it's only the records with the high squeally ones
that gets to be hit ( except for Duane Eddy )
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# famous rockabilly guitarist from late 50's early 60's if i remember right.
# time frame might be wrong. i also associate with surf guitar.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Electric guitarist known for his twangy sound in instrumentals recorded in
# the 1950s.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A very famous early 60's (?) guitar player. I believe the theme from Peter
# Gunn (which you've heard even if you don't know it by name) is his most
# famous output. I believe he made extensive use of the TWANG BAR.

#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# His first big hit was "Rebel Rouser" and the first thing perspiring
# guitarists at the time had to learn to do was bend that G on the third
# fret of the 6th string, then twang the open E. There were only two special
# effects on guitar amps then: a spring reverb and a pulsing tremelo. Eddy
# used the spring reverb on practically everything and made it his signature
# sound. "Rebel Rouser", with its rebel yells and wild band noises endeared
# Eddy to Dick Clark, who regularly featured him on American Bandstand as one
# of the few purely instrumental rock musicians at the time to attain success
# (another group he liked was Johnny and the Hurricanes - who were much better
# musicians than any of their recorded material would indicate. Dave Yorko,
# the guitarist, was totally awesome in some of the performances I saw in the
# Toledo area, in the early 60s, after he quit the group).
# Coupla other hits were "40 Miles Of Bad Roads" and "Because They're Young",
# the theme from a totally horrible teen exploitation film which nonetheless
# dazzled us all because of the string orchestration, something verbotten for
# rock at the time. I think that one might have hit #1 (with a bullet for CC)
# on the American Bandstand charts, briefly, in a time when there was little
# competition save for Fabian, Bobby Rydell, Frankie Avalon, and other
# Elvis-wannabes in Clark's Philly Stable during the King's semi-retirement
# in the Army.

Packard Goose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe:
May be you thought I was the Packard Goose
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# Ben Watson, who amazingly enough is right in this particular instance,
# takes this as a reference to Vance Packard, author of the book _The
# Hidden Persuaders_, about media manipulation of the populace in the 1950s.
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# One of my special friends spoke once with Ike about the phrase "Packard
# Goose." I can't remember all of the details from the explanation, but it
# had something to do with a hood ornament on a 50's car. So Ben Watson was
# probably wrong, but in this case he gets points for imagination.

Or the Ronald MacDonald of the nouveau-abstruse
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# ronald macdonald is the mascot of macdonalds hamburgers, another marketing
# plan. nouveau-abstruse is made up term i'm sure, but at that time there
# was a lot of talk about the nouveau-cousine which was very chic, or that was
# the reputation, never tasted it myself. another use of nouveau would be
# nouveau-rich, as in the newly rich.
#
# From: ulr...@sfu.ca <Charles Ulrich>
# Ronald McDonald is a clown who is the mascot of McDonald's, the fast-food
# hamburger place. Nouveau-abstruse is a made-up term that sounds like the
# name of a movement in art. "Nouveau" is "new" in French (which makes it
# sound more sophisticated), while "abstruse" means "difficult to
# understand".

Selling punk like some new kind of English disease.

# From: Gary Rush <gr...@crl.com>
# i think reference to punk music rather, depends on time period, don't
# have joe's garage with me to see when it was made exactly but punk
# in uk started earlier than most realize.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Second Wave of British Invasion. Sex Pistols, Clash, Buzzcocks, GBH,
# UK Subs. This came out in the late 70's.
# Frank thought punk was a step backwards. He fits more with progressive
# and art rock which is more compositional and advances the form and
# incorporates classical and jazz. Punk was a rebellion against this and a
# return to minimalist forms. Some say that the divergence between The
# Mothers and the Velvet Underground are the roots of these two musical
# directions.
#
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# Here, I assumed this was in response to the musical journalism community's
# heavy promotion of punk rock music in the late 70's, in the same way Green
# Day and Rancid have been overpromoted the past couple of years.

Beauty is not love
Love is not music
Music is THE BEST
Wisdom is the domain of the Wis (which is extint)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: erase...@iglou.com (Gloria Wallgren SLIP/PPP)
# The speech is just disintegrating into babble here. Could make for an
# interesting metaphor with the album (see: A LIttle Green Rosetta).

Beauty is a French phonetic corruption
Of a short cloth neck ornament

# From: GWOR...@ix.netcom.com (Gary Worsham)

# Well, in French, beauty is 'beaute' (accent on that last e) which
# phonetically is BOW-TAY, which is kinda like BOW-TIE, i.e. a short cloth
# neck ornament currently in resurgence. Hope that helps!

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# It's "a French phonetic corruption of a....neck ornament." I forget what's
# missing there. At first I thought Frank had uncovered some little-known
# fact about # the origin of the word. Now, I suppose it's a joke...."beauty"
# equals "beau ty" which equals...."bow tie." Ouch.

Joe:
I think...
What tone!
Sounds like an Elegant Gypsy!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)

# Al Dimeola released an album around that time called Elegant Gypsy.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Al DiMeola, ladies and gentlemen. Elegant Gypsy is one of his album
# titles. The lick that follows is a spoof on his characteristic style.

What's that? Musk?
It's hip!

#CC
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# Another bit of CC I noticed-- the "What is that, musk? It's hip!" bit
# from Packard Goose also appears in 200 Motels, in the animated
# sequence where Donovan appears before Jeff Simmons on the wall-mounted
# TV screen.

Watermelon In Eastern Hay
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Karsisto Konsta <k...@cs.tut.fi>
# FZ: And the word is Radio 1 and this is Frank Zappa about to play
# the last selection on my artificial disc jockey program. And
# before I disappear into the wilderness I want to thank Graham,
# Martin and Trevor, and remind you that next on Radio 1 its Alexis
# Korner. Now they have allowed me, erm, here on this radio station,
# to actually play one of my own toons on this radio show, and for
# this fact I will be *deeply* indebted to them forever, and, er,
# I've chosen as my one representative item from the repertoire that
# I can squeeze in here, a song called "Watermelon In Easter Hay". And
# I will now provide you with a piece of information about the
# title: That's not the complete title of this song. The *real* title
# of this song is "Playing A Guitar Solo With This Band Is Like
# Trying To Grow A Watermelon In Easter Hay". And that's where it
# came from. From me, Frank Zappa, goodbye!

Central Scrutinizer:
Joe did, and he's happy guy now, on the day shift at the Utility
Muffin Research Kitchen, arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas
snoot of fully-charged icing anointment utensil. And every time
a nice little muffin comes on the belt, he poots forth
^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# "whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
# Ronnie helping kenny helping burn his poots away."
# [ Let's Make The Water Turn Black. WOIFTM ]
# The second line, as verified in "The Real Frank Zappa Book", is a reference
#to pyroflatulation.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# And direct CC is of course Bongo Fury _Muffin Man_
#
# The Muffin Man is seated at the table
# In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen...
# ...
# Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
# of fully-charged icing anointment utensil.
# He poots forth a a quarter-ounce green rosette
# Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin
# of his own design

Central Scrutinizer:
Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: j...@zirconium.mcc.com (Joe Newman)
# It's a reference to a 50's doo-wop tune, but I'll be dipped in shit if I
# can remember who did it. Relic records has put out a CD of their stuff,
# including Japanese Sandman. They've also put out lots of other obscure
# doo-wop re-issues. You can probably get a lot of their CDs from Roots and
# Rhythm in El Cerrito, California:

Steve Gadd's clone to play the out-chorus on this song
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# He's a drummer as far as I know. I believe he's among personal of
# Al Di Meola _orange and blue_ 1994 album. Never played with FZ.
# Who can add any info about his out-chorus playing clones?
#
# From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
# Steve Gadd is a session drummer who was particularly famous in the late
# 70's.
#
# From: mb...@cornell.edu (Mike Puterbaugh)
# As well as one of Vinnie C's biggest influences.

Zetta...

Robbert Heederik

unread,

May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part5

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| Part 5 of 6 |

| part 5 of 6 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

MAN FROM UTOPIA
===============

Notes and Comments
ver.22-June-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Album covers mystery explanation
#
# From: nude...@aol.com (NudeAdGuy)
# For a complete description straight from the Zappa's mouth, pick up a copy
# of "You Cant Do That..." Volume 1. See the liner notes for "Zomby Woof" on
# said CD...

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# More stuff in volume III (or maybe IV) where Ray White sings "Nigger
# Biznis" while choking on tear gas.
# At least one of the banners reads "vafanculo" which translates essentially
# as "go fuck yourself"
# This album cover is very very cool. Zappa as Ranxerox.
#
# From: Ga...@kino.demon.co.uk (Gary Cook)
# You just need to check out the RANXEROX comic books by the famous italians
# Stefano Tamburini and Tanino Liberatore - fantastically drawn futuristic
# amoral mayhem (sounds just like the Pistoia (sp?) concert that TMFUtopia's
# cover is parodying, to me)... Anyhow, they are IMO some of the nicest
# looking comic art ever.
# _also_ ------and I've always been amazed by this - in the foreword to the
# paperback version of "Rankxerox in New York" (pub. Catalan Communications,
# copyright 1984,1986 ISBN 0-87416-027-8) is a photograph of FRANK, sitting
# with the artist and writer sitting at an outdoor cafe table,
# apparently discussing an open copy of one of the comics. I have always
# fondly imagined that this is a photo of the original meeting to arrange the
# drawing of that great cover. (Trivia - there is one stubbed cigarette butt
# in the ashtray - from this, can we conclude that neither Lib. nor Tamb.
# smoke, and they hadn't been there long?)

Cocaine Decisions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chop a line now...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Cocaine usually comes in a rock like format that must be chopped up with a
# razor blade on a mirror. You chop it up until it is fine and powdery and
# then make lines which are snorted through straws or rolled up currency -
# the $100 bill being ultra cool.
#
Cocaine decisions...
You are a person with a snow-job
^^^^^^^^^
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@Helios.phy.OhioU.edu>
# Snow-job funny double entendre. Snow implies coke, but also implies
# the person has a job that does not really contribute to society (sort of
# like a lawyer or publicist). (To snow = to put one over or fool).
#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>
# "snow job" - refers to a job that seems more important than it is, where
# you fool people about how important you are and what you can do. Also a
# job that pays enough so you can buy coke.

You got a fancy gotta go job
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Just to rhyme mostly. "gotta-go" just refers to high powered 1980's style
# business. Someone with "A fancy gotta go job" is a big time wheeler and
# dealer who has a lot of money. Cocaine is expensive.
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@Helios.phy.OhioU.edu>
# Coke is being referred to as yuppie or upper class drug. During the early
# '80s alot of status was attached to coke use. Zappa used to do a live
# bit called Cocaine Rumors, about parties where all the participants would
# converse about how much coke they just did. Also, the Yuppie implication
# was that they were busy in their job and were always on the move, so a
# common expression was "gotta go."

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "fancy gotta-go job" - refers to a busy and important job which keeps the
# person moving from place to place all day. Many big sales executives are
# like this. In the 1980s, many of those executive were young guys who
# made so much money that they could, and did, spend a lot of it on coke.

I don't wanna know
'Bout the things that you pull
Outta your nose
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# You've obviously never done cocaine. Since you try to coat your mucuous
# membranes with it, it can irritate and form big crusty snot. Sometimes the
# membranes bleed. If you abuse coke it really fucks up your inner nose.
# This is what Frank is talking about. The big disgusting coke snot that
# users do pull out of their nose.
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@Helios.phy.OhioU.edu>
# What goes in must come out. At least sometimes. So the next morning
# when you want to clear those nasal passages for that wake-up line, one uses
# a finger which can remove quite a bit of residue. Also, when you are
# not telling people about how much you did, you can discuss what you
# pulled out and what you then did with it.

And the cocaine decisions that you make today
Will not be discovered till it's over 'n' done
By the customers you hold at bay

#:-)))))) Let's mine the harbor ((((((-:

Cocaine decisions...
We must watch the stuff you make
You have let us eat the cake
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "eat the cake" - I think this refers back to the saying from the French
# Revolution, "let them eat cake." In Frank's sense, it means you have
# given people flashy stuff that they think they want, instead of giving
# them useful stuff that they need. It also implies that the person who
# provides the cake does not respect the people who eat it.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Big wordplay on the famous Marie Antoinette line "Let them eat cake"
# Referring to the insensitivity of the opulent rich.
#
# From: "Peter de B. Harrington" <Har...@Helios.phy.OhioU.edu>
# From Marie Antoinette "Let them eat cake." Implies the aristocratic
# attitude and that in the end we are paying for their cocaine decision.

Sex
~~~

Even them Christians who are born again
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SEX

#CC
#
# It is a direct reference to Pat Robertson's case
# See _When The Lie's So Big_ track on _Broadway the Hard Way_

Some girls try it 'n' go on a diet
Then they worry 'cause they's too fat
Who wants t'ride on a ironin' board?
That ain't no fun...I tried me one
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# I don't think anyone really knows if Frank preferred fat women.
# Gail was not fat when he married her. I think it's a mistake to assume
# that it's always Frank himself talking in these songs. It may be some
# other "character."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Temper it with "Jumbo Go Away".
# In my younger days I preferred my women thin. Now prefer a little meat.

Grow that meat all over yer bones
Work the wall with the local jones
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# 1) To talk to (i.e. try to pick up ) people standing against the Wall in a
# nightclub.
# 2) To stand against the wall in a nightclub waiting to be picked up/talked
# to
# To have sex with someone while standing up, leaning against the wall.
#
# Frank uses the term loosely, although I believe it originated with "Mudd
# Club" - "work the wall, work the pipe, work the chain, in serious leather"
#
# In "Jazz Discharge Party Hats" it takes on a more generic meaning:
#
# "So anyway these guys from the crew decided they were gonna 'work the wall'
# on these girls, you know what I mean?" Where Frank was basically using it
# as a replacement for 'fuck'.
#
# From: fla...@aol.com (Dave Logemann)
# Actually it goes back to "Broken Hearts are for Assholes," on Sheik
# Yerbouti:
# "...You worked the wall with Michael/Which gave your back an awful
# strain..."

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# While Sheik was released first, I wouldn't be surprised if Mudd Club was
# written and performed first.
#
# From: fla...@aol.com (Flavver)
# I've since come across an alternate take of "Broken Hearts" with the
# Jobson/Bozzio/O'Hearn combo, circa 1976, from the non-album Laether. This
# would put the song first, since the Mudd Club started up in the late 70s
# (if my recollection as a native New Yorker is accurate).

'N' while you do it, remember this line
The Sniffer says it all the time
^^^^^^^^^^
# Who's it. Someone who makes cocain decisions every day?-)))

Maybe you could use a protein surprise
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SEX

# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# "protein surprise" - male ejaculation; semen.

'N' when the train goes 'round the bend

Tink Walks Amok
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Instrumental)

# Ok, Tink is a nickname of Arthure Barrow. Was the song named so
# due to some Tink's impossible bass guitar parts?-))))

The Radio Is Broken
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cosmos at large
It's so very big
It's so far away
The comets...the craters...the vapors
The solar wind
The residual echoes...the residual echoes

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# It seems to be sequel to the Cheepnis from Roxy album. No doubts Frank
# simply adored all kinds of stupidity sci-fi as well.

#
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# Frank really loved outer-space monster movies from the 1950s. Most of
# this song refers to the kinds of things you find in those movies, especially
# the cheap ones.

The residual echoes from the giant explosion
Where they said it beginned

The germs from space!
The negative-virus knit-wear
The blobulent suit
That's right! THE BLOBULENT SUIT
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Really looks like something from Captain Beefheart poetical arsenal.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I always thought it was "globulent soup" referring to primordial ooze.
# I could be wrong.

The things that were supposed to be green
In the balck and white movies
They get you in the neck when you're not looking
They get you, the get you, they get you, get you, get you
The radio is broken -- it don't work no more
The radio is broken -- it don't work no more
The lovely Lisa Kranston:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
......................................

The pointed brasseries
The atomic war
The tiny little dresses on the space girls
A love-starved race begging to reproduce
With earthmen
They need to reproduce (with John Agar)
^^^^^^^^^^
They need to reproduce (with Morris Ankrum)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
They need to reproduce (with Richard Basehart)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
They need to reproduce (with Jackie Coogan)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
They need to reproduce (with Sonny Tufts)

^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: John Henley <jhe...@mail.utexas.edu>

# All of the names are actors who played in 1950s outer-space monster movies.
# John Agar starred as the hero in several of them.
#
# From: wa...@u.washington.edu (S. Fortney)
# John Agar was Shirley Temple's first husband. I think she was about 16
# years old and he was about 23 or something. It was big in the press
# back then.

The botchino...the botchino...the botchino

^^^^^^^^
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I always heard THIS line as "The Moggio" referring to the instrumental
# elsewhere on the album. I could easily be wrong.

The gigantic spider
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# Sleep Dirt's Spider of Destiny once again.

The Dangerous Kitchen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dangerous kitchen
If it aint't one thing it's another
In the middle of the night when you get home
The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
The meat thing
Where the cats ate trough the paper
The can things with the sharp little edges
That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
The soft little things on the floor that you step on
They can all be DANGEROUS

#CC
# Funny great song about what appeared to be Frank nightly experience
#
# " I work in the middle of the night so, when I hungry, I wind up
# digging in drawers to find something a teenager would refuse to eat.
# If I know we bought hot dogs that day, maybe I'll find a couply of
# buns left. The hot dogs are all gone. There aren't even any in the
# freezer. So I eat peanut butter. Most of the time the bread is gone -
# so I just shovel some out of the jar with a spoon."
#
# FZ. The Real Frank Zappa Book, Poseidon Press, p.253

It's disgusting and dirty
The sponge on the drainer
Is stinky and squirty
If you squeeze it when you wipe up
What you get on your hands then
Could un-balance your glands and
Make you blind or whatever
In the dangerous kitchen
At my house tonight

# From: Unknown Netter :-(((
# The style of this and The Radio Is Broken is, I believe, called
# sprechgesang (half-sung, half-spoken). Schoenberg used it (?)

#
# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# Also "sprechstimme" - used by the composer Englebert Humperdink
# in his operas.

The Man From Utopia Meets Mary Lou
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well,
This is the story of a man who lived in Utopia
This is the story of a man who lived in Utopia
He was a funny little fella with feet just like I showed ya
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC:-)

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Funny how the words of mysterious Donald & Doris Woods appeared to resemble
# Frank's own stuff
#
# _Sheik..._ Dancing fool
# One my leg is shorter than the other both my feet too long
#
# _Over-Nite..._ Zomby Woof
# My right foot is bigger than other one is

Well, he had a girl, her name was Mary Lou
Well, he had a girl, her name was Mary Lou
She did everything for him that she could do

...................

I'm going to tell you a story about Mary Lou
I mean the kind of girl who make a fool of you
She'd make a young man groan and a poor man pain
The way she took my money was a cryin' shame
Mary Lou -- she took my watch and chain
Mary Lou -- she took my diamond ring
Mary Lou -- she took my Cadillac car
Jumped in my Kitty and drove afar

# From: paul...@nando.net (Paul Hinrichs)

# It is two songs. The second ("jumped in my kitty..") was done by
# Ronnie Hawkins and the Nighthawks (and, I think, these guys later
# became The Band).

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# On the _You Can't Do That..._ Vol.4 you can hear these two songs
# performed separatly. The lyrics of the second is identical to the
# _... Utopia_ version, but the first goes like this
#
# This is a story of man who lived in Pistoia
#
#:-) Obviously an easy teenage Palermo disqotheque version of John Cage
# 6 different radios tuned to 6 different pop-music stations.
#

Stick Together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a song about the union, friends
How they fucked you over and the way they bends
The rules to suit a special few
And you gets pooched every time the do

You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together

Once upon a time the idea was good
If only they'd a done what they said they would
It ain't no better, they's makin' it worse
The labor movement's got the Mafia curse

# From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)

# Unions in Europe are of a completely different nature than in America. In
# England, the unions represent a counterculture against Thatcherism. Zappa's
# song 'Stick Together' is a much misunderstood song in Europe. Many
# progressive people feel this song is right wing. Zappa's reference about
# the unions living under the Mafia curse gives a clue about how different
# unions are looked upon. Someone who said something like that about european
# unions is not taken seriously. It just doesn't make sense.
# I feel Zappa's look isn't too paradoxal, he made his reasons clear several
# times. For him it was almost impossible to get orchestra's play his music.
# He always put the full 100% into his art and continuously experienced other
# people being aware of their 'financial rights' first. FZ worked overtime all
# his life and unions made him feel that was unethical. In the Real FZ Book is
# a reference saying he felt treated like a millionaire rock star who had to
# pay for everything because he was stinking rich. This is a major mistake for
# which the unions are to blame. I don't know how they calculated FZ income by
# then, they never took care of the fact that FZ invested all he earned in new
# music, be it recorded or performed. This one way look of the unions must
# have made him bitter for good.
# Beside that, here's another thing. Zappa turned much into the average
# business man in the eighties unions stand up against: none of the people
# playing on BTB got paid; remember all MOI members who feel FZ made use of
# them by recording them all the time. He still put out new records with their
# contributions without consulting their opinions, let alone paying them.
# Zappa stated he paid them back in 1969, ie: their salaries. You don't have
# to be a marxist to see that there is something wrong with that: Zappa paid
# his members, and he benefited from them too in the sixties: he had a band.
# When he uses tapes to make a living out of thirty years after the fact where
# other people were involved too who get nothing, a union is necessary to
# correct matters.
# I buy 'Ahead of Their Time' for Ian Underwood's playing as well, you see.
# In America this correcting doesn't seem the task of the unions, the record
# is in the stores.

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# For all of you who just like it no matter what someome thinks about it.
# Another great anti-union song is _Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink_ from
# _Chunga's Revenge_ album
#

The Jazz Discharge Party Hats
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway...
We're in Albuquerque, New Mexico...
A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless
Because their girlfriends might find out

# Ok, all we know now what it was Aynsley Dunbar who jump from balcony
# to balcony to "finally plunging it into the crimson tunnel"
# Who could be those couple of heros?

Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls
^^^^^^^^^^^^
From the college

# See SEX comments above

So, one night...it was the first night
When they were still trying to 'get it in there'
(Ya know what I mean? Huh-huh-huh-huh...)
The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band
She says, well, to several of the guys in the band
And one of the T-shirt guys too...
"HEY! LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# No not really [Is it a favorite college girls pastime in the USA?-).]
# It means swimming naked. Plenty of people do it. Usually in rural areas
# (lakes and ponds) or isolated backyard swimming pools.

Luigi & The Wise Guys
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're a dor-r-r-r-k
You are a double-dork butt rash
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Well-known incovenience?-)

You are a dork, dork, dork, dor-r-r-r-k!
Nobody wants to...

You are boring...you have nothing to say
You eat cheese -- you eat cheese and other things
You can can wrap up an' take with you
From the table
With Luigi & The Wise Guys at the table
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Who they are? Some obscure band sung about Man From Pistoia?

BROADWAY THE HARD WAY
=====================

Notes and Comments
ver.23-Dec-1995

put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

lyrics mostly :-) from
CD booklet

special thanks to
Yury July <ju...@july.techno.ru>
and
Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A few words to begin with
#
# From: TERH...@KUB.NL (Greggery Peccary)
# Broadway means that the kind of material that we play is not necessarily
# rock, but some of it is theatrical, and the hard way means going to Madrid
# and play in a place with mud, or the hall we played in Gent (Belgium),
# where you couldn't hear anything, now that's the hard way.
#
# This is what Frank said in answer to a similar question [ Does anyone know
# why Zappa's '88 tour was called Broadway the Hard Way? ]. Not exactly these
# words, but, well, almost. I typed it from memory.

Elvis Has Just Left The Building
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

#:-)
# Yes indeedy. [ Is it Kenealy who parodying Presley vocal here and in
# Rhymin' Man?]

He gave away Cadillacs once in a while;
Had sex in his underpants,
Yes, he had style!

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Elvis Presley was famous for being very generous to certain people. He
# did give away cars and other expensive presents. Dunno about sex in his
# underpants, though.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# I wouldn't be surprised if he did all of these things. Elvis grew up to be
# a very quirky, reclusive super-star.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# He was too shy to remove his white cotton briefs.

Bell-bottom jump-suits?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's them in a pile,

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Bell-bottoms are pants which are very wide at the bottom of the legs.
# Presley used to wear these when he was performing on stage towards the
# end of his life.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A jump suit is a one piece outfit. The name comes from parachuting.
# Bell bottoms were popular in the 70's and had the end of the leg flared out
# resembling a bell. Some of Elvis' most memorable costumes were
# Bell-bottomed jump-suits (the white one with all the glitter on the
# oversized collar).

So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat?
^^^^^^^^

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Just an ugly fat pig. I think someone once did a cartoon which made
# Presley's face like a pig.

So take down the foil
From his hotel retreat,

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# In some hot places in North America, like Las Vegas, people put aluminum
# foil in the windows to keep the sun out.

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Howard Hughes had the walls of the rooms of his residences covered in
# aluminum foil. (Because he was NUTS!) Either Elvis did something similar
# or its a HH reference.
#
# From: ma...@ksgrsch.harvard.edu (Mark Parisi)
# Elvis did the same thing, primarily because he slept during the daytime,
# and wanted complete darkness in his suite. His advance men always made sure
# the windows were done before Elvis arrived.

Elvis has just left the building --
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Those are his footprints, right there

# From: st...@utkvx.utk.edu (Todd M Steed)
# ... check out [ movies] ELVIS ON TOUR or ELVIS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
# Whenever ELIVS finished a show he would split asap and then some old
# Memphis Mafia guy would say
# ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BLD. (except he wouldn't abbrv.)
# This was his sig, so to speak...and they always said it.
# This was so all the hicks and dumb rednecks in the audience would know not
# to wait around and thusly would return to their pickup trucks and get stuck
# in traffic for 2 hours.
# In other words EHLTB means GO HOME YOU IDIOTS, THERE AIN'T NO ENCORE.
# It has become somewhat of an idiomatic expression these days. So
# be it. You will hear it a lot if you listen. SHHHHH..listen,
#
# From: JSUL...@fhcrc.org (John Sullivan)
# The line comes from Elvis's Vegas shows. The show's over, the audience is
# going nuts, and the MC announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left
# the building!"
# Translation: "He's zooming away in the limo with a drink in his hand,
# show's over."
# Thanks largely to David Letterman, it's becoming common slang for, well,
# something being over.

Elvis has just left the building --
To climb up that heavenly stair
He's up there with Jesus, in a big purple chair
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Seems to be a piece from well-known God's livin' room fat maroonish OSFA
# suite.

#
# From: mdr...@cix.compulink.co.uk ("Martyn Dryden")

# Zappa owned a big purple chair, in which he sat while being interviewed for
# the recently televised BBC2/A&E documentary, to name but one. Whether it's
# double-knit or not, I couldn't determine.

Planet Of The Baritone Women
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are the girl
Somebody invented
In a grim little office
On Madison AVe.
They were specific,
They made you terrific:
Red lips,
Blue eyes,
Blond hair

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# She's not real. She's the Madison Avenue concept of the perfect woman.
# The song is about advertising and media, not about women.

They keep it as low
As they possibly can,
And sometimes they walk
Like an E-GYP-TIAN
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ah-ha-ha-ha-hah!

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# "Walk Like an Egyptian" was a hit for the Bangles (an all-female group)
# sometime in the 1980s.
#

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)

# I suppose Zappa is parodying them. Also (this is far-fetched) in SLEEP DIRT
# (CD/ALBUM) we have a piece entitled "Regyptian Strut," which is nothing like
# "Walk like an Egyptian".

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# "Walk like an Egyptian" very silly and thus very popular.

Any Kind Of Pain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She has moves up now;
She's come a long way --
They give her bunches
Of words she can say!

When she's in a bold mood,
"Confinement Loaf" sounds good --
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: mar...@cs.bu.edu (Michael Martak)
# CNN ran a story on that, as FZ said on the album.
#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>
# On the LP, not on the CD, FZ himself explained the meaning of C.L. in
# introduction to DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE
#
# From: do...@lion.dgt.co.il (Doron Zifrony)
# For those of you without the introduction that explains what "confinement
# loaf" is, there it is:
#
# Confinement loaf is apparently a bean by-product that is beeing
# administered to problematic prisoners. A ration of a troubled prisoner is
# a slice of confinement loaf and a glass of water. Apparently, this seems
# to mellow them down.
#
# After introducing the Confinement Loaf, FZ asks: How long will it be
# before confinement loaf will find its way to US high schools?
#
# From: la...@Milori.CCIT.Arizona.EDU (Darrell Laham)
# From the previous explanation from Ike W., it sounds to me like C-loaf
# was used as an afterthought, probably only for 1 or a couple of shows.
# So what originally sounded good to our heroine when in a bold mood?

#
# From: to...@cup.hp.com (Todd Poynor)

# On a bootleg also named "Broadway the Hard Way" (not the official release),
# the lyric, "sodomy", is sung here. However, it's accented in a way that
# still has a "fill in the blank" flavor to it, so maybe this lyric changed
# alot.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# On another bootleg, it's "tunafish". Again, this sounds like an
# instance of lyric mutation. What does it say in the tour book?
#

# From: pe...@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)

# In actual fact, confinement loaf does not contain drugs but is merely
# exceptionally bland and boring. It is also served without utensils. It
# was proposed that it be served to unruly inmates as a punishment, but this
# ran into constitutional problems. Apparently, food that doesn't taste very
# good is considered either cruel or unusual.
# I am STILL looking for the recipe for confinement loaf which appeared in
# the local paper back in the 80's.

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Although I have never myself been a guest at "La Casa Grande" (or
# "The Greybar Hotel", or just plain JAIL), I hear that there are several
# versions of "Confinement Loaf" under different names here and there.
# The one I heard of before I heard of "Confinement Loaf" is a Special
# Concoction called "Jute Ball". This vile substance is created from the
# leftovers of the other inmates, scraped together and compacted into a
# ball of "stuff" that is then served with water to troublesome inmates.

Dickie's Such An Asshole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(The San Clemente Magnetic Deviation)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# San Clemente is where Nixon lived during his retirement. Not sure what he
# means (if he means anything) by Magnetic Deviation
# It's just a tagline for this updated version of the song which was
# originally performed during or shortly after Nixon's term in office.

#
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# For original Dec.73 sound check YCDIOSA Vol.3

One 'n one is eleven!
Two 'n two is twenty-two!
Won't somebody kindly tell me,
What's the government is tryin' t' do...
Dickie's just to tricky
^^^^^^^

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Late Richard Nixon of course. Richard Milhous Nixon. And about his wicked
# soul along with the Agnus's(sp?) too being up his sleeve boasted Terry the
# Devil before rough Motorcicle Man on Zappa In NY _Titties and Beer_ number.

For a chump like me to use
You take that sub-committee seriously, boy
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Sub-committee is a unit of congress. The smallest working unit, where
# presumably everything get's done. The Watergate investigation was
# performed by a sub-committee. (The PMRC "porn wars" hearings were also a
# sub-committee in session). Committees listen to the reports of
# sub-committees and vote and argue, and Congress itself listens to the
# reports of committees and votes and argues. Recipe for partisan gridlock.

Quadraphonic desperation!
(FZ: Oh, pinch that loaf now)
Just might be some confinement loaf all up under your bed
^^^^^^^^^^^
# See comments to ANY KIND OF PAIN

If you just might pinch a little loaf in your slumber

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Here again, FZ is dabbling in some treasured "gutter humor". The phrase
# "pinch a loaf" is one of a galaxy of descriptive metaphors in American
# English for taking a shit. Others include:
# Lay some cable, Squeeze some cheese (In fact, in the article "Say Cheese"
# from YAWYI, every time the word "cheese" appears, you can comfortably
# exchange it for the word SHIT.) Force a grunt.

Have a guy in Virginia
^^^^^^^^
with the [????] soup for you
GONNA GET YOUR NUMBER
etc.

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)

# Virginia is the home of the CIA, the NSA (National Security Agency) and the
# FBI. Each of these "spy" groups may be represented in the above line. Also,
# Virginia was to show up in THING FISH as a, "top secret Gubmint laboratory
# underneath Virginia."

Let me tell about this right now
Let me tell about this right here
Make this perfectly clear
Let me tell about this right here
You know you put me in office
For you musta wanna me in office
I've did you no harm
I used to have twenty five tapes
Now I've only got ten
Don't remember what happened to the rest
[ May be gave them to the friends?]
Have a couple of Bebe Rebozo
^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: bo...@lynx.navo.navy.mil (Martin H. Booda)

# Bebe was the good friend and former business partner of a certain Richard
# Milhous Nixon.
#
# From: det...@aol.com (Detboy)
# Bebe Rebozo was deeply involved in the american watergate scandal of the
# early 70's, although his exact role eludes me at the moment. I seem to
# remember that he did some of his nigbiz on a boat in some harbor.
#
# From: p.pr...@mail.utexas.edu (Paul Previte)
# Bebe Rebozo was a close personal friend of the late Mr. Nixon. When
# Trickey Dick's world was falling apart Mr. Rebozo provided a Florida
# sanctuary from the shame he may or may not have deserved.

Have a couple of Pat Boone
^^^^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Pat Boone was a clean-cut white popular singer of the 1950s. At that time,
# many whites did not listen to music played by blacks. Boone redid several
# Little Richard songs and had hits with them. I seem to recall Little Richard
# saying that he wrote the chorus of "Tutti Frutti" specifically to be
# difficult for Pat Boone to sing.
#

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Pat Boone was an American teenage idol of the 1950's. He is probably the
# cleanest guy you could ever see! I think he is now involved with some
# religious ministry.
#
#CC
# Well, wonders never cease ... I found the excerpt from Ample Annie's
# autobiography where she tells about working with Frank... Here it is:
#
# Zappa decided that he first wanted me to do publicity for his new
# album, "Thing-Fish." In it, he had a song about a rubber doll. He'd heard
# about Slutty Suzy and Sluts Are Us in my act, and thought that Suzy and I
# would fit right into his plans. As part of the promotion, he was producing
# a celebrity layout for HustIer magazine. That was fine with me as long as I
# didn't have to do any acrobatic shots. It took three of the wildest days of
# photography I'd ever gone through. I was paid $2,000 a day. The magazine
# got twenty-one pages out of it. As usual, I was underpaid given the
# results.
# ............
# The set, like Zappa, was bizarre. They must have spent thousands of
# dollars on it. There was a house with phony snow and dozens of pink
# flamingos in front of it. In the background, there was a huge poster of Pat
# Boone with his penis hanging out. Someone had found a Polaroid and sold it
# to Larry Flynt, HustIer's publisher. Since he couldn't use it anywhere
# else, he used it here. Don't ask what the significance of any of this was.
# I was just doing my job.

I just wanna lie about one thing right now

The gangster stepped right up,
^^^^^^^^^^^^
'N kissed him on the lips good-bye
Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Not sure who exactly is referred to but a close friend of nixon's who was a
# gangster (and called a cocksucker here) kissed nixon on the lips, therefore
# making Nixon a "cocksucker by proxy" proxy=substitute.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# A proxy is someone who does something in your place; in some instances
# you might be able to vote by proxy, that is, give someone the right to
# cast your ballot for you. Cocksucker by proxy means that you didn't do
# the deed, but someone else did it for you, on your behalf.

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# For those who are unaware, this is referred to in Mafia circles as
# "the kiss of death". One version of its practise goes: You kiss the
# victim in the presence of others as a sign to one and all that here sits
# a dead man - then later you hire somebody to kill them (or do it yerself).

#
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Btw, on 1973 YCDTOSA III version it was innocent Phydeau who step up 'n
# kissed him on the lips good bye.

An' he didn't even bat an eye!

The man in the White House -- oooh!
He's got a conscience black as sin!
There's just one thing I wanna know --
How'd that asshole ever manage to get in?

Now let's bring the Republican Party up to date

# Karl Oberlander <ko...@austin.asc.slb.com>
# Easy there dude, what makes you think all FZ fans or even FZ himself would
# want to continue the downward spiral of liberalism and socialism. He
# looked pretty much like a man who made an upper level living to me.
# There are conservative Republican FZ fans out here like moi!
# Thats because I started appreciating FZ back in the mid-60s and my
# opinion of him and his work have not changed a bit since. Maybe it
# is because he and I shared a less than politically correct membership in
# the "white European male descendant" club.

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# Frank distinguished between two different types of Republicans--the
# low-tax, pro-business type (assuming they're sincere, which I seriously
# doubt) and the religious nutzo type. He didn't mind the former and even
# identified with them at times since he was after all running a business
# that had to turn a profit. But I think we all know what he thought of the
# latter.
# He was also not fond of Republican or Democrat presidents' tencencies to
# attack third-world countries for fun and profit, nor the complicity of the
# US media in promoting these adventures.
# I'd advise any FZ fans of similar inclination to check out the writings of
# Noam Chomsky for a view of US foreign affairs that is quite similar to
# Frank's, though expressed with far fewer entertaining colloquialisms. (He's
# just as ironic, though, in his own way.)

When The Lie's So Big
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the lie's so big
As in Robertson's case,
^^^^^^^^^
(That sinister face
Behind all the Jesus hurrah)

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Pat Robertson. Frank had a special place in his heart for this guy. "Case"
# here means "as in the example of pat Robertson"

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Robertson is a TV Evangelist who had close involvement with the most
# unsavory, religious right-wing fascist element of the Republican party.
# This was written during his '88 presidential bid. Robertson way outdid
# himself during the '92 campaign when he said that the ERA (Equal Rights
# Amendment) was not about Equal Rights for Women, it was about a movement
# which encourages women to divorce their husbands, kill their children,
# practice witchcraft and become lesbians.
# Yes he really said that.
# It's a large part of the reason why Clinton won the election. The
# Republican party had sold too much of its platform to this extremist
# element.

Criminal saints
With a 'Heavenly Mission" -
A nation enraptured
By pure superstition
(Do you believe in Invisible Army?)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Seems to be something from Pat agitprop:-) arsenal.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# You got it. Apocalyptic visions from his TV show.

The Republican trick
(Ketchup is a vegetable)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
can be played out again"

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This refers to some dubious reclassifications of food groups and
# substitutions allowable for US school-lunch programs perpetrated by the
# government during the Reagan years as one of the many ways in which the
# Reagan White House cut massive amounts of money from social and educational
# programs and re-directed those funds in more "useful" directions (like
# large corporate bodies and defense subcontractors). When these
# school-lunch program reclassifications came out sometime around 1982 I
# remember reading with astonishment some of the substitutions. The one that
# stood out most prominently in my mind (and I guess in Frank's as well) was
# the one referred to in this song: instead of serving an actual vegetable
# dish, a small cup of ketchup was listed as a suitable nutritional
# substitute.

Rhymin' Man
~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say when Doctor King got shot,
Jesse hatched an evil plot,
Dipped his hands in the Doctor's blood,
'N rubbed his shirt like playin' with mud
Looked around for all the press
'N said: "Check me out, my name is Jess!
I'll be known from towns 'n farms --
Doctor King died in my arms!"

# From: "Michael Zielesny" <mi...@miles.westfalen.de>
# PLAYBOY: You've also used your songs to level political attacks. You wrote
# Rhymin' Man about Jesse Jackson. What made you so angry?
#
# ZAPPA: An article raised some questions about whether or not Martin Luther
# King actuallyy died in Jesse's arms. There were reports that Jackson
# dipped his hands into King's blood or even used chicken blood and
# rubbed it on his shirt, which we wore for a few days afterward as he
# met the media. So I did this song about the idea of communicating
# through nursery rhymes, as Jackson is prone to do. It rubs me the
# wrong way. I'm not saying that all of Jesse's ideas are bad;
# I agree with some of them. But I'm not confident that Jesse Jackson
# would be the person I would look to to implement any of them. I don't
# want to see any religious people in public office because they're
# working for another boss.

#
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# I have an interview from 88 (SFB, Radiostation in Berlin).
# (This is quoted from memory..)
# Q: Do you think Jesse Jackson is the right man for president?
# FZ: No, I don't thin Jesse Jackson is the right man. I thin Mario Quomo
# is the right man.
# Q: Who is Muriel Como?
# FZ: Quomo.

A few years later, legend says,
Rhymin' man made a run for Prez
Farrakhan made him a clown,
^^^^^^^^^

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Louis Farrakhan is a very popular (infamous) preacher within the Nation of
# Islam, a modern Islamic Extremist organization of American black.
# Farrakhan is well known for his public racism and anti-semitism. He has a
# fairly large following, but he is very divisive. A black running for
# public office in anything other than an all-black community is committing
# political suicide by associating himself with Farrakhan in any way.

Over there near Hymie-Town
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# Jesse once referred to New York City as Hymie-Town. This is a slur on
# Jewish people.
#

Said he was a diplomat --
Hobbin' an-a-knobbin' with Arafat
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# The actual verb is "hobnob", meaning "to associate on very friendly terms".
# Normally, one would say "Hobnobbing with Arafat", but of course that doesn't
# scan.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# It's a Zappafied way of saying "hobnobbing", as in "with the Goblin Girl".

Any fool can make a rhyme --
Cowboys do it all the time

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# On the surface this refers to Country & Western music. This also refers to
# the rise at the time of a certain number of homespun "Cowboy Poets" who
# have by now apparently used up all of their 15 minutes of fame since we
# don't hear about them anymore. These guys used to appear from time to time
# on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (and other talk shows) dressed in
# standard ridiculous cowboy attire and read from their collections of
# homespun, highly jingoistic doggerel poetry usually touching on mildly
# humorous subjects and making vague statements about the wide-open vistas of
# American Opportunity and shit like that.

Horse manure!
That's for sure!
You been cheatin' --

We kept score!
Are you "this"?
Or are you "that"?
Oh, you naughty
Democrat!

# From: Bartosz Blacha <ba...@CMU.EDU>
# I remember seeing a quote of FZ going something like, "Republicans are
# the worst of what's possible... and Democrats is just a bunch of guys
# trying very hard to be Republicans." Well, that makes sense: both
# parties are just trying to make us into a nation of check-mailing
# braindead slaves, only Republicans are less willing to admit it...

#
# From: ive...@utkvx.utk.edu (Stan Ivester)

# He wasn't too keen on Lyndon Johnson, thanks to LBJ's involvement in U.S.
# atrocities in Vietnam. I don't remember his saying much about Carter. He
# ended up endorsing Clinton fairly late in the 1992 campaign. He said
# something like Bush and Quayle were such monstrosities that he'd endorse
# Clinton and Gore despite his disagreements with Tipper--or at least that's
# the way it was reported in the media.
# BTW, I read in at least one interview that he was briefly excited by the
# Perot candicacy in 1992 but was disillusioned pretty quickly once he
# figured out that Ross wasn't playing with a full deck.
#

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)

# For a good look at BOTH parties via Zappa, check out "Hot Plate Heaven At
# The Green Hotel"
# And don't forget how Frank "skewered" the Gores during the Porn Wars.
# They made up though. He and Tipper were actually on very good terms before
# Zappa's departure. Before the election, he said he would much rather have
# the Clinton/Gore team elected, than to have four more years of "those
# cowboys" (Reagan/Bush/Quayle, etc.).
#

# From: j...@zirconium.mcc.com (Joe Newman)

# Could you provide some evidence for this? What constitutes "very good
# terms"? The last comment I saw from Zappa on the buoffant-encrusted turd
# from Tennessee was on the Today show interview around Summer '93. After
# conceding that he had received a nice letter from the Gores when his
# condition became public, he went on to sneer at the notion of Tipper in a
# rock group. He hardly seemed to be in the mood for a love-fest.
# ... reaching the conclusion that two lying sacks of shit are preferable to
# two lying, fascist sacks of shit hardly seems like a ringing endorsement.
# You make it sound like Zappa wanted to hang out and party with these
# assholes.
#

# From: sw...@skat.usc.edu (Rob Sweet)

# "Very good terms" may seem like an over - exaggeration, but considering
# the terms they HAD been on (during the Porn Wars), I can feel justified in
# saying they were on "much better terms".

Promiscuous
~~~~~~~~~~~

The Surgeon General, Doctor Koop
^^^^^^^^^^^
S'posed to give you all the poop

# From: "Michael Zielesny" <mi...@miles.westfalen.de>
# PLAYBOY: You also assailed former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop in a song.
#
# ZAPPA: HBO ran something like "Dr. Koop Answers Your Questions About
# AIDS." On it, I saw him explain how AIDS got from the green monkey
# to the human population. He speculated about a native who wanted to
# eat a green monkey, who skinned it, cut his finger and some of the
# green monkey's blood got into his blood. The next thing you know,
# you have this blood-to-blood transmission of the disease. I mean,
# this is awful fucking thin. It's right up there with Grimm's Fairy
# Tales. And Koop was such a cartoon character with that uniform and
# everything. Before Ronald Reagan, when did you ever see a surgeon
# general dressed up like the guy in the Katzenjammer Kids?

But when he's with P.M.R.C.
^^^^^^^^
The poop he's scoopin'
Amazes me

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# "...by mid-1985, a Washington, D.C.-based antirock committee called the
# Parents Music Resource Center was gathering steam. The PMRC was formed to
# combat what it deemed "blatant explicit lyric content" in rock records.
# Among the PMRC's founder was Tipper Gore, wife of Tennessee Senator Albert
# Gore; Susan Baker, wife of Treasury Secretary James Baker; Georgei Packwood,
# and Nancy Thurmond, wife of South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond. These
# women's spouses are relevant information because it was their political
# clout that that was at least partially responsible for the group's ability
# to get a September 19 Senate Commerce Committee hearing scheduled on
# deleterious effects of rock music on its listeners.
# .......
# The ultimate goal of the PMRC was to institute a rating system that would
# alert parents to what the committee heard as offensive material.
# At the Senate hearing, an unlikely trio of pop stars - Frank Zappa, John
# Denver, and Dee Snider (lead singer of Twisted Sisters) - testified against
# any such rating system."
# Rock of Ages. The Rolling Stones History of Rock and Roll.
# p.619
#CC
# The voices of mentioned Senate hearing participants are an essential part
# of Porn Wars on Frank Zappa Meets the Mothers of Prevention album.

#
# From: j...@cs.tu-berlin.de (Johannes Labisch)

# There is also a chapter in "The Real Frank Zappa Book" about Dr. Koop and
# the "Porn Wars".

C-Span showed him, all dressed up
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# A cable [TV channel] (costs extra $$) network that is dedicated to
# washington news.
#

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)

# C-Span is a TV channel that shows debates in Congress.

In his phoney Doctor God get-up
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# A pseudo-military uniform with epaulets. "What is he, the admiral of
# health?"--Frank Zappa

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# He wore a very gaudy admiral's uniform - white with big gold epaulets and
# lots of decorations. Supposedly it is the proper uniform for the Surgeon
# General, however before Koop no Surgeon General was ever a public figure.

He looked in the camera and fixed his specs
'N gave a little lecture
'Bout anal sex

Is Doctor Koop a man to trust?
It seems at least that Reagan must
(But Ron's a trusting sort of guy --
He trusts Ed Meese
^^^^^^^^
I wonder why?)

# From: Chris Smith at Indiana University <SMI...@ucs.indiana.edu>
# Reagan-era Attorney General indicted for lying to Congress

The A.M.A. has just got caught
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# American Medical Associaion. Basically the doctor's lobby (political
# voice).

For doin' stuff it shouldn't ought

Surgeon General? What's the deal?
Is your epidemic real?
Are you leaving something out?
Something we can't talk about?
A little green monkey over there
Kills a million people?

# See Playboy Interview excerpt above

The Untouchables
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monologue by Ike Willis

# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# Others around here have covered most of the references on BTHW except for
# "The Untouchables", where Ike Willis goes off on most of the American
# political figures over the band vamping on the Nelson Riddle theme.
# Basically, Willis is talking about the Ronald Reagan presidency (which was
# ending in 1988) and the Iran-Contra affair, where government officials sold
# weapons to Iran in order to raise money to finanace the rebel war in
# Nicarauga. After this whole scheme occurred, they lied to Congress about
# it....

Rico! Youngblood! Wake up!

^^^^
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# I believe these were two of Elliot Ness's assistants on "The Untouchables",
# a 1960s TV show about real-life government agents battling Al Capone during
# Prohibition.

#
# From: rick...@aol.com (Rick Hall)

# Rico & Youngblood were 2 of Elliot Ness' agents from the original TV show
# "The Untouchables", as was Nelson Riddle's music

Okay -- let's look at some mug-sheets
^^^^^^^^^^
of the suspects from the 80's...

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# "Mug-sheets" refers in part to photographs of criminals (part of "getting
# busted" is getting your fingerprints and a photograph taken which then go
# into vast law enforcement files). These photographs are then collected
# together in several large volumes and kept in the police station. Then,
# when somebody is a crime victim and the perpetrator wasn't caught, they
# bring the victim down to the station and have them flip through the
# "mug-sheets" or "mug-books" in the hopes that perhaps the victim will
# recognize the perpetrator from a previous arrest photo.
# The other part of "mug-sheets" refers to posters of wanted criminals which
# are put on display at the post office. These posters include the standard
# 2-photo "mug-shoot" (face view and profile), copies of the person's
# fingerprints (which always baffled the fuck outta me - like you're going to
# step up to some guy who matches the photo and say "Hey, mind if'n I just
# check your fringerprints real quick? I think you might be a murderer."),
# and a brief criminal biography.

ADMIRAL POINDEXTER!

# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# One of the main figures in the Iran-Contra affair, Oliver North's boss.
# Lied in front of a Congressional investigative panel and would have served
# a felony conviction if it wasn't for the pardon from George Bush.

Get back on Felix The Cat where you belong!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yes it is [cartoon character], and one of the characters on the show was
# a geeky guy named Poindexter. For anyone growing up in America, the primary
# association of the name Poindexter is with Felix the Cat.

OLIVER NORTH!

# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# The most famous player in the Iran-Contra affair. North took thousands of
# government documents detailing the transactions, shredded them, and then
# stood in front of Congress and defended his actions. Convicted of several
# felonies, but the charges were dropped when he appealed on the argument that
# his conviction was obtained by using his testimony in Congress (they can't
# do that). He is now [mid-1994] running for the United States Senate from
# his home state of Virginia, but nearly all Republican strongmen (including
# Ronald Reagan) are not supporting him.

BILL CASEY!
You're dead!

# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# Director of the CIA during the Iran-Contra affair. Died in a hospital
# during the investigation by Congress, and then became the big scapegoat.
# Nearly everything that North and company didn't want to take responsibility
# for, they blamed on Casey, and the corpse didn't have much to say in
# response.

BUSH!
# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# Vice-President under Ronald Reagan. Claimed to know nothing about the
# Iran-Contra deal, but most people didn't (and still don't) believe him.
# After all, this man's rise through government started with the CIA, and the
# intelligence business is his specialty. He probably not only knows, but
# busted his butt to hide it.

DEAVER! NOFZIGER!

# From: pdhe...@aud.alcatel.com (Paul D. Herzog)
# Michael Deaver & ? Nofzinger - White House assistants during the Ronald
# Reagan presidency, served jail time for felonies they committed trying to
# cover up the Iran-Contra affair.

You're crooks! Book 'em Dan-o!
^^^^^

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# This is a reference to Danny Williams, who was the second lead character
# on the TV cop show Hawaii Five-O. At the end of many episodes, his boss,
# Steve McGarrett would say "Book 'em, Danno", meaning "Charge them with
# such-and-such offense". This reference also appears in Thing-Fish and
# Ship Too Late albums.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Danno was a supporting character on Hawaii Five-O, another old TV
# show. "Book 'em, Danno" was the catch-phrase used by star Jack Lord to
# end episodes, " 'em" (i.e. "them") referring to the criminals who
# have just been caught.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# From the program Hawaii Five-O. Danno was the sidekick and many programs
# ended with the hero (forgot his name) saying "Book-em Danno, murder one"
#CC
# You Are What You Is/Thing Fish - "Book 'em Danno - mammy one"
# Obviously though, it's the wrong show.
#

# From: che...@kitune.ec.t.kanazawa-u.ac.jp (Deus Ex Machina)

# Dan-o was a character from "Hawaii-five-O" which was one of the longest
# (if not the longest) TV series in US history.

Dan-o? How'd he get in the show?
Get outta here!

REAGAN!
You're asleep! Wake up!
The country's in a mess!
You're history anyway, buddy --
You're meat -- you're trough!
You're vapor -- you're baloney without the mayo!
^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Yes, mayonnaise.

You're outta here, buddy --
In fact, it's Robin Leach!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Robin Leach is the host of the TV show Lives of the Rich and Famous.

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Nothing bad, he's just an annoying celebrity with a very recognizable voice
# that's easy to imitate/parody.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Ike has (intentionally or otherwise) slipped into an impersonation of Robin
# Leach's voice.

Hey, fellas -- take me to the bridge!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Classic James Brown call to his band.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# A standard request by the singer/speaker for the band to play the bridge
# of the song.

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# You're forgetting that this also has a classic naval/sci-fi meaning as well
# which should not be forgotten. As the command and control center of a ship
# (both naval and sci-fi types - particularly Star Trek) is referred to as
# "the bridge", "Take me to the bridge" is also used in the sense of "take me
# to your leader".

I want it now!

Why Don't You Like Me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

Am I really that bad?

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# While this song refers to Michael Jackson, these li'l referents might need
# clarification, so: "Bad" was the name of the album that followed that Real
# Famous One that MJ did (shows ya how much I know about Michael Jackson - I
# can't even remember the name of the album - it had that stupid "Beat it"
# and "Billie Jean" songs on it). Anyway, at the time MJ evidently felt that
# he needed to tweeze his public image in a new direction away from the
# popular conception that he was generally a weirdly androgynous li'l rich
# fuck - but that ploy didn't work. The "Bad" album featured MJ on the cover
# in an outfit and demeanor somewhere in that gray area between Heavy Metal
# and S&M gear. The overall effect was similar to what you'd get if you
# dressed the Pillsbury DoughBoy in black leather, spikes, 'n chains and took
# a snapshot of him attempting to sneer. In short, it only made MJ look even
# more weird and ridiculous.

I hate my mother
I hate my father
I am my sister
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# It's
# I hate my sister
# in CD booklet printed lyrics, but as Robert Moore once pointed it out
# this line was actually sung another way. See his comment below.

And Germaine is a negro!
^^^^^^^^
A NEGRO! A NEGRO!
A NEGRO! A NEGRO!

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Germaine is one of MJ's sibling brothers - he's continually involved in
# failed projects of one kind or another and is sort of a mirror image of
# Michael (he's definitely a negro AND a male, while MJ gets whiter with time
# and closer towards complete sexual neutral)

"Please read this pamphlet."
"I'm so BAD"

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This line refers to the Jackson Family Religion, which is Jehovah's
# Witnesses. Jehovah's Witnesses (or JWs as we call 'em) are a
# Brooklyn-based sub-cult of the general cult of christianity. I won't bore
# you with their theology but they do distinguish themselves by producing
# avalanches of pamphlets, tracts, and newsletters (the most prominent of
# these is "The Watchtower") which they distribute in neighborhoods
# door-to-door. They are also identified by their fanatical evangelism.

You take the monkey, I'll take the llama,

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Among MJs numerous weird practices is that he keeps a menagerie of wildlife
# rather like a private zoo at his home.

We'll have a party: get me a Pepsi --

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A famous episode in the life of MJ was the time he was hired to be the
# spokeshuman for a big Pepsi-Cola ad campaign of the 80s. During the
# filming of one of the commercials MJs hair caught on fire as a result of
# close proximity to flash pots and fireworks. The joke at the time was
# generally about MJ asking for a Pepsi - to put out his burning hair.

Michael is Janet, Janet is Michael --
I'm so confused now --

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This refers to MJ's continuing evolution towards the female side of
# androgyny - he's now a pretty good clone of his sister Janet Jackson
# (except that her tits are way better - that's the area I think MJ should
# concentrate on in future editions of himself).

Who is Diana?

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Diana Ross (famous Motown singer) is MJs idol and it seems that
# he re-tailors himself to look as much like her as possible.
#
# From: fr...@pipeline.com (Fred Hetzel)
# Another explanation could be a reference to a MJ song , I believe it's
# from the "Bad" album, called "Dirty Diana". I'm not familiar with the
# lyrics, but I think it would be safe to assume that "dirty" refers to
# sexual promiscuity, leading to FZ's curiousity as to the identity of the
# young lady.
#
# From: cz...@VNET.IBM.COM (Brian Czako)
# ...it's the same as "Tell Me You Love Me", with the Michael Jackson lyrics
#
# "Who is Diana?" - on Jackson's "BAD" album, there's a song "Dirty Diana".
# There was some speculation that this was Diana Ross, but it was never
# confirmed.

He's oxygenated

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# This refers to unverified tabloid reports that s'more of MJs weirdness
# includes a special oxygen-only environment habitat of some kind wherein it
# is rumored he spends a lot of time "getting healthy and stuff".

His nose is deflated

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# MJs nose is most definitely deflated compared to the gorilla nose
# he sported back in the 70s.

And he thinks he looks good to you
And he thinks he looks good to you

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Actualy, he probably does.
# It may not need to be mentioned, but: there may be a few folks who don't
# know that this song is a tweezed version of "Tell Me You Love Me" (from
# "Chunga's Revenge" and "Tinseltown Rebellion"). This song also has the
# "riff" from MJs "Billie Jean" stuck in it during the "monologue" section
# near the end. The thing that's interesting to me is the statement made by
# considering the 2 versions of this song's title: Tell Me You Love Me - Why
# Don't You Like Me? The statement and the question.

Bacon Fat
~~~~~~~~~
While I was down in W.D.C.
Certain folks were not glad to see me
I just tried to get out the vote
But some little weasel must 'a dropped 'em a note
^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# A weasel is a type of animal, a rodent with sharp teeth. Calling someone
# a weasel is like calling someone a rat, and you mean that they might not
# be trustworthy; like a used car salesman.

It said:
"Check out the politics
Practiced by this oaf
And if they ain't just right
Feed him Confinement Loaf."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# See Any Kind of Pain comments

Stolen Moments
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trumpet solo by Walt Fowler

# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)

# ["Stolen Moments"] is an Oliver Nelson tune, one of ten or twelve FZ picked
# out on a Castaway's Choice radio program first broadcast in 1988 on NPR.
# Frank cited it as one of the few jazz tunes that had appeal for him over the
# years. It has a nice trumpet solo.
#
# From: Michael Bell <MB...@mail.utexas.edu>
# Stolen Moments is pretty much a jazz standard. I am sure its been recorded
# dozens of times. I used to play it in my high school jazz band.

#
# From: gdne...@nickel.ucs.indiana.edu (gregory david newton)

# I don't know if it's the _original_ version but you'll find it along with
# five other great Nelson tunes on "Blues and the Abstract Truth" on MCA
# Impulse. The album was originally released in the early 1960s; it features
# a great band that included Eric Dolphy, Freddie Hubbard, and Bill Evans among
# others. I have it on CD from '86 (mediocre remastering job is a bit
# disappointing). It should be fairly easy to find at any music emporium
# with a decent or better jazz selection.
#
# From: mad...@birkhoff.math.nwu.edu (Kevin M. Madigan)
# There is an album by Eddie Lockjaw Davis titled Stolen Moments, which has
# an excellent cover of the title track, featuring, among others, Eric Dolphy.

Murder By Numbers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Performance by Sting

# From: Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>

# This was the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago, March 3, 1988. Just in case
# there are any severe Stingheads reading.

#
# From: rob...@sybase.com (Robert Garvey)

# Oh yes, and Mr. Sting does step up to the microphone for "Murder by
# Numbers" saying he wrote that tune, not Beelzebub.

Jezebel Boy
~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# "Jezebel - n. shameless or profiligate woman; woman who puts garish colour
# on her face. [ ~, wife of Ahab (1 Kgs. 16, 19, 21)]"
# The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Current English

#
# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A Jezebel Boy is a male prostitute.

You know all the guys
In the Sheriff's Patrol
They leave you alone
When they round up the whores
Up on Hollywood Boulevard

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# I forget the actual street names, but I recall reading an article in some
# nudie magazine which talked about the locational proximity between the male
# and female prostitutes in LA. It said that the females hang out on
# Hollywood Boulevard and the males hang out on a street that runs parallel
# to that street (maybe Sunset Strip? I dunno - Help me out LA people).

Sometimes that nasty D.A.
^^^

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# District Attorney

That's when
The short-pants girls

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Many times, prostitutes will wear extremely short pants with their
# butt-crack hangin' out for the benefit of any and all prospective
# "renter/leasers". Also, at this point in the music FZ uses a classic
# "cheap sex sax riff" as one might hear in any number of James Bond movies
# and cheap detective thrillers when the Hot Girl enters a room. In the same
# vein as the presence of the theme music from "The Untouchables", just
# before the above verse is another musical quotation from a TV
# law-enforcement-type show - I'm about 88% sure it's from "Perry Mason".
# One very noteworthy aspect of this tune from a compositional standpoint is
# the beautifully consistent and concentrated way that FZ used the harmonic
# language he chose for this work. It's a "controlled dissonance" which
# comes from a skillful use of the octatonic scale. The parallel 9th chords
# (which remains throughout as an intervallic device in the bass part) evoke
# a sort of Post-Bartok-Woody-Herman sound that packs a big wallop in a small
# controlled space. Plus it makes the "Perry Mason" bit sound totally
# natural to boot (as well as retaining Conceptual Continuity with the
# general law-enforcement theme) If his work on The Grand Wazoo, Drowning
# Witch, and Teenage Prostitute wasn't enough to convince us of FZs
# consummate skill as a band orchestrator, Jezebel Boy removes all doubt.

Waitin' through that night
Waitin' for that distinguished-looking
Wilshire District Gentleman
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
With snow-white hair,

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Enter a musical quote from "Jingle Bells".

To drive up in his Lincoln,
And whisk away the Jezebel Boy

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# As you might or might not have guessed, Wilshire District is a very ritzy
# and high-price LA area in which to live.

There he goes now!
Old Ralph will make him put that wretched
Sausage in his mouth again

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# ["gobbling" sound plus sax and synclavier sample]
# The "gobbling" sound plus sax/synclavier bit here actually springs from the
# American Cartoon Tradition and is absolutely fuckin' hilarious - especially
# with Ike and FZ laughing like they are.

Another day,
Another sausage --
Jezebel Boy

Outside Now
~~~~~~~~~~~

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# See Joe's Garage Notes & Comments. Yet to be compiled :-)

Hot Plate Heaven At The Green Hotel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republicans is fine,
If you're a multi-millionaire
Democrats is fair,
If all you own is what you wear

# See comments to Dickie's Such An Asshole and Rhymin' Man

'Cause I'm in Hot-Plate Heaven,
at the Green Hotel

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Many "transient individuals" (i.e. poor single people) have to live in
# tiny hotel/apartment houses. These are characterized by being in a very
# shabby building in a very shabby and dangerous part of town. The rooms are
# often rented on a daily or weekly basis (instead of the common 6-12 month
# lease plan), are usually about the size of a walk-in closet and have only a
# single electrical outlet (no bathroom, no kitchen, and if you're lucky
# they'll have a piss-soaked mattress for your comfort and safety). Since
# there's no kitchen, the tenant often resorts to illicit cooking (you're not
# supposed to cook in them either because of the fire hazard) on a
# "hot-plate". A hot-plate is a plug-in appliance consisting of a single
# burner element suitable for pan-frying or making soup. As often as not, in
# winter the hot-plate doubles as a heat-provider for the room.

Things is slightly better now;
They hope we will forget
The misery of 'TRICKLE DOWN',

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# "Trickle-Down" refers to a phrase used by Ronald Reagan and his economic
# gurus to describe what would allegedly happen if the rich were taxed less.
# The myth goes that if the rich pay less taxes, they have more money to
# invest in other things. This in turn "creates jobs" and all of the other
# "benefits" of American Life as that untaxed cash "trickles down" through
# the system to eventually result in some poor schmuck getting paid the
# minimum wage to be abused by assholes in some god-forsaken mall outlet near
# you.
# Of course, when taxes for the gentry were cut, the money sorta never
# managed to flow downhill to the peasantry because it kept ending up
# overseas where it bought more (but as always, the bullshit slid downhill
# right to the bottom).

An' jelly-bean etiquette

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# One of the many image tools deployed by the White House Image Spin Doctors
# to great propaganda effect was that of Ronald Reagan and his fondness for
# jelly-beans (jelly-beans are small candies made from god-knows-what that
# taste nasty and stick to your teeth). I mean, this guy likes jelly-beans,
# of COURSE we can trust him - how can a man who likes jelly-beans be
# untrustworthy? (or a senile and incompetent aristocratic figurehead/boy
# for the corporate weasels who really run things).

Pass me the dog food.

What Kind Of Girl?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's a girl like you

Doin' in a Motel like this?

"I left my place after midnight,
When I first got the call...
The escort service I work for
Said you wanted it ALL!"

#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

# Fillmore East, June 1971.
# What Kind of Girl Do You Think We Are
# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
# What's a girl like this

# Doin' in a place like this?
#
# I left my place after midnight
# And I came to this hall

# Me and my girlfrien, we came here
# Lookin' to ball
# And so on...

This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY

Spoo all over her lap --

# From: Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su:->>>
# Aber bekleer nicht das Sofa, Sofa?-))) Don't get no jizz upon that sofa,
# sofa?-)))))))))))

#
# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Same idea. Perhaps a reference to Swag's claim that he just put the tip
# in. He may have pulled out to spoo in her lap. One of the '88 shows had
# excessive "secret wordism" surrounding the phrase "just the tip"
# Was it in Best Bend you never heard? I forget - in any case there was
# "Lonesome Cowboy Jim" You only get the tip of him" or something close.
#
# from _The Real FZ book_
# ... Ike had used the word 'spoo' - roughly the equivalent of jizz - in a
# conversation. I don't know where it came from, or if he made it up.
# p.170 ( Poseidon Press, 1989 )

She wants an ignorant Cracker TV Evangelist
Who's reciting all that crapp...

# From: j...@cadre.com (Joe Hartley)

# Jimmy Swaggart is an American televangelist, one of those yutzes who
# claims to be saving your soul as he picks your pocket. He was caught
# with his pants down, fondling himself, in a cheap hotel, with a cheap
# hooker.
# I saw FZ in Boston the night that all this was exposed (so to speak).
# Frank couldn't have been happier. At the show after the Boston one, in
# Providence, he started doing a *lot* of Swaggart related material, twisting
# the World Famous Beatles Medley into a Swaggart lampoon.
# Some of this stuff ended up on "The Best Band You Never Heard".

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's an ugly little weasel 'bout three-foot nine
^^^^^^^^^^^^
# See comments to Bacon Fat

Face puffed up from cryin' 'n lyin'
'Cause her sweet little hubby's
Suckin' prong part time
(In the name of The Lord)

Did he really choose Tammy to do His Work?
^^^^^

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# Tammy is the wife of Jim Bakker (sp?) a television evangelist, who went
# to jail for embezzling church members' funds. Tammy was famous for
# wearing this really horrible mascara.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# Jimmy Bakker's wife, Tammy Faye Bakker.

Robertson says that he's The One
Oh sure he is,

Now, what if Jimbo's slightly gay,
^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# Jimbo is Jim Bakker. A classic deep south nickname.

Perhaps it's their idea
Of an Affirmative Action Plan
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# ...A liberal government scheme to tip the balance back in order to give
# minorities and the underpriviliged a fair chance. It manifests itself in
# terms of quotas where a company or school would be forced to hire/admit a
# percentage of certain groups. They are controversial, they don't work and
# often result in qualified applicants being rejected in favor of
# underqualified ones.

To give White Trash a 'special break';
^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, they took those Jeezo-bucks and ran

# From: fn...@panix.com (Cliff Heller)

# This is the tie in. It's their affirmative action for "White Trash" (a
# racist term), who tend to really get the short end of any real "Affirmative
# Action Plans", which assume that simply because you are white you are
# privileged, which is certainly not the case.

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

To the bank! To the bank! To the bank! To the bank!
And every night we can hear them thank
Their Buddy, up above
For sending down his love

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# The music which accompanies this section is a quotation from the "Light
# Cavalry Overture" by Franz Von Suppe. This same quote has also been widely
# used in cartoons and it is this aspect which flavors it in the Iconography
# of Americana.

Jim and Pat should take a pole
(Right up each saintly glory-hole),
^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# The main use of the phrase "glory-hole" in American English refers to
# places (adult movie theaters with private booths, bathrooms in some gay
# bars, whatever) where gay males can go, stick their schlong through a
# "glory-hole" in a wall and the considerate person on the other end will
# perform various "acts of fun" on it.

With tar and feathers too --
Just like they'd love to do to you

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# In the Old West (and up until maybe the 1930s), if you pissed off the folks
# in a small town you ran the risk of them banding together into a vigilante
# group at which time they'd capture and "tar and feather" you. As the name
# implies, they dunk you in hot tar and then stick chicken feathers all over
# your body. This is also a Ku-Klux-Klan activity (see below) which still
# goes on.

Conviced they are 'The Chosen Ones' --
And all their parents carry guns,
And hold them cards in the N.R.A.
^^^^^^

# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# National Rifle Association. They are the most vocal opponents of any
# proposed gun control legislation.

(With their fingers on the triggers
When they kneel and pray)

With a Ku-Klux muu-muu
^^^^^^^

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A muu-muu is a "traditional" dress which is worn by many Pacific Island
# peoples. It is not in fact a genuine traditional dress but was imported
# and imposed upon these peoples by Christian missionaries who were totally
# shocked at the generally casual nudity of said peoples. With that in mind,
# a muu-muu is more or less a large sack dress in multi-colored flower
# designs which covers quite a lot of otherwise dangerous and sinfully
# exposed flesh.
# In this context, FZ is making fun of the "traditional" costume worn by
# members of the Ku Klux Klan (in short, the KKK is a white hate organization
# dating from the end of the Civil War which practises murder and
# intimidation upon any and all "non-white" [whatever the hell that is]
# neighbors). When they're out doing their thing "for the white race", KKK
# members wear a white costume (or sometimes "royal purple", if you're the
# Big Cheese) rather like a monk's robe with the addition of a pointed hood
# (which presumably covers a pointed head) with 2 eye-holes cut in it.

In the back of the truck,

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# I can think of no Klan member I've ever heard of who didn't qualify as "A
# Redneck" (a generic referent to ignorant white males from the South whose
# neck, face, and arms are red from sun exposure [but the rest of 'em is
# purest fish-belly-white]). This is not to say that every redneck is
# necessarily a Klan member and/or a racist (most are just "simple
# countryfolk"), but the standard stereotype is that a redneck is a dumb
# gun-toting, God-fearing, Super-patriotic fool who drives a truck. The
# truck is Standard Equipment and very important. In fact, you can expect to
# see a rebel flag displayed somewhere on the truck (maybe an actual flag
# whippin' from an 8-foot radio aerial, or a bumper sticker - there are other
# variants).

If you ain't Born Again,

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# When you are inducted into the ranks of Christianity, you are said to be
# "born again" as a NEW PERSON. Yeah, right.

"Life's too precious, can't you see!"
(What's that hangin' from the neighbor's tree?
Why, it looks like 'colored folks' to me --
Would THEY do THAT...seriously?)
(FZ: They've been doing it for years)

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# Another reference to the KKK. Klan members (who more often than not are
# Pillars of the local Christian community) still get together for fun and
# lynch "uppity niggers" (though not as often as in years past - progress
# y'know). If there was a local non-white person who deeply offended the
# white community in some way (say, glancing in the general direction of a
# white woman, or attempting to vote), late at night the Klan would ride out
# (in their trucks), capture the "uppity nigger", torture him for a while and
# then hang from a prominent local tree as a warning to others.

Claims not to be a "Faith Healer",
But has, in the past,
Dealt stearnly with everything from hemorrhoids to hurricanes

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# A number of years ago, a hurricane (I forget the name) was threatening the
# US East Coast (including the general area where "Brother Pat" lives and
# lies). So, Pat Robertson went on his "700 Club" TV program and used his
# Awesome Powers as Jesus' Best Friend to make the hurricane veer away from
# the coast (and millions of dollars worth of Pat's real estate holdings).
# Of course this is pure bullshit - but when the hurricane veered off as it
# would have anyway, Pat "gave the credit to God" but somehow managed to keep
# a bunch himself - truly a Force to be reckoned with.

There's an old rugged cross
In the land of cotton --
It's still burnin' on somebody's lawn
And it still smells rotten

# From: Robert Moore <evi...@tbag.tscs.com>

# The music in this section is in part a mixture of quotations from an old
# spiritual called "The Old Rugged Cross" and from Stephen Foster's famous
# "Dixie".
# This is also another KKK reference. Another "fun" thing the good old boys
# in the KKK do is get together and intimidate people they don't like by
# erecting a burning cross on their lawn in the middle of the night. They
# also burn great big crosses at their Secret Rally Meetings (with prayer).

Imagine if you will

Claims to be a MAN OF GOD;
Currenty seeking the United States Presidency,
Hoping we will all follow him into --
The Twilight Zone
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

# From: Mr_Gi...@mindlink.bc.ca (Mike Quigley)

# The Twilight Zone was a famous TV show during the 1960's which dwelt on
# supernatural events. It was remade with new episodes several years later.

#
# From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>

# Another old TV show (CBS, 1959-1964). It's the mysterious place (between
# sleep and waking? between reality and illusion?) where spooky and horrible
# things happen. You wouldn't want to go there.

#
# From: ker...@bnr.ca (Kerry Yackoboski)

# A great TV show made in the 1950's and 1960's. It was science fiction
# of a sort, and each episode (30 minutes) featured a completely different
# story; there were no repeating characters. The stories were always
# about something strange and inexplicable that not happen on our planet,
# except in... the Twilight Zone.

Robbert Heederik

unread,

May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96

Posted-By: auto-faq 3.1.1.2
Archive-name: zappa-faq-notes/part6

----------------------------------------------------------------
| alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ Notes and Comments |

| part 6 of 6 |
+------------------------------+

Put together by
Vladimir Sovetov <so...@kpbank.kemerovo.su>

==================
The YCDTOSA series
==================

mantained by

Francesco Gentile
gent...@xantia.caspur.it

ver 2.4
17 December 1995

This FAQ file was initially called "Cruising with YCDTOSA". Then I
submitted it to the attention of the FAQ series mantainers (Robbert
Hedderik and Vladimir Sovetov) and after a separate issue in the
series, we decided to add it to Notes & Comments sub-series mantained
by Vladimir.

This document is an attempt to gather what the Internet & affz
(including me even if I don't use to post often) said and will say
about YCDTOSA. Presumed errors, notes, comments, lyrics etc. Some of
them are due to "The Secret Lab of Dr.Including" and have been
published in the vols. 29 and 30 of The Black Page magazine (thanks to
Remco Takken who has posted these Dr.Including studies). For the sake
of brevity this last source will be quoted as "[BP]" throughout the
document.

Due to technical problems, sometimes I lost a lot of affz posts. So,
if you have comments please mail them to me also. Lastly, please correct
my english!

2.3 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(3, 16); (4, 6); (4, 18); (4, 32); (5, 14); (5, 19); (6, 10); (6, 11);
(6, 24); (6, 27). All these comments are due to Tan Mitsugu.

2.4 has new info on the following tracks (volume, track):
(1,2); (1,14); (5,37); (6,10); (6,35).

Finally, this document is dedicated to all FZ addict who "listen so
carefully to every little detail".

Current version includes contributions of:

Carl Berger <ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de>
Pat Buzby <spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu>
Scott Chatfield, Mike Keneally <sc...@cts.com>
Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Brian Downing <br...@dsm.fordham.edu>
Alek 'DownerMan' <al...@best.com>
Cory Ferber <cmf...@ritvax.isc.rit.edu>
Dianne Hackborn <hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU>
Martin Jenkins <x...@cix.compulink.co.uk>
MHB <M...@mitvma.mit.edu>
Bill Lantz <la...@primenet.com>
Jon Naurin <92u...@chestud.chalmers.se>
Dave Perry <d...@hydra.carleton.ca>
P. Psutka <u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA>
Ola Rinta-Koski <o...@vipunen.hut.fi>
Rob Sweet <sw...@skat.usc.edu)
Remco Takken <s060...@let.rug.nl>
Tan Mitsugu <a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp>
Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
John Walsh <z...@maths.tcd.ie>
David L. Windt <wi...@nanook.div111.att.com>

ok, let's go ...

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 1 (May 1988, 137:34 min.)
================================================================

1. The Florida Airport Tape (1:04)
2. Once Upon A Time (4:38)
3. Sofa #1 (2:53)
4. The Mammy Anthem (5:41)
5. You Didn't Try To Call Me (3:39)
6. Diseases Of The Band (2:22)
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:44)
8. Let's Make The Water Turn Black/
Harry, You're A Beast/
The Orange County Lumber Truck (3:28)
9. The Groupie Routine (5:41)
10. Ruthie-Ruthie (Brock/Berry) (2:57)
11. Babbette (3:36)
12. I'm The Slime (3:13)
13. Big Swifty (8:47)
14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow (20:16)
15. Plastic People (Zappa/Berry) (4:39)
16. The Torture Never Stops (15:48)
17. Fine Girl (2:55)
18. Zomby Woof (5:39)
19. Sweet Leilani (Owens) (2:39)
20. Oh No (4:34)
21. Be In My Video (3:30)
22. The Deathless Horsie (5:29)
23. The Dangerous Kitchen (1:50)
24. Dumb All Over (4:20)
25. Heavenly Bank Account (4:06)
26. Suicide Chump (4:56)
27. Tell Me You Love Me (2:09)
28. Sofa #2 (3:01)

1. The Florida Airport Tape
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on April, 1970
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet). The band listed performed
in Miami on April, 1970 (I don't know the day).

2. Once Upon A Time
lyrics (the first part is due to me, the second to Brian Downing,
both have been refurbished with the help of the Robbert Heederik
vault of files):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Bolman

oh, thank you Frank
and don't misspell it, that's not Marc Bolan that's Mark Volman
#### #####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Charles Ulrich <cul...@pomona.edu>
Date: 20 Apr 1995 18:56:54 GMT

Bolan. Mark Bolan was the singer/guitarist of T. Rex. Mark
Volman (and Howard Kaylan, of course) sang back-up on many T.
Rex songs, including the hit "Bang a Gong (Get It On)". (That's
why it sounded so authentic when Flo & Eddie did an excerpt
from this song on one of their albums.)
---------------------------------------------------------------

Hiya friends
I wanna welcome each and everyone of you
I wanna say to you tonight
I feel great
I mean, I feel great
everywhere I go people are always comin' up to me
and they say Mark, Mark, Mark
#### #### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

"Mark, Mark, Mark" - Volman sounds like he's barking here

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
Mark are you kiddin'
lemme tell you this friends:
I am not kiddin'
I mean, I am portly and I am maroon
well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am?

aaaah
I can't guess what you are

well, then I'll give you some clues
and the first clue is
I am portly
does that help?

not much
no, I don't know who you are

Okay, I got one
clue number two:
I am double knit
###### ####
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: M...@mitvma.mit.edu
Date: Mon, 24 Apr 95 14:37:50 EDT

I betcha that's "double knit," which was the technique used to
weave the stretchable polyester fabrics that comprised leisure
suits in the '70s, which was the subject under discussion in
"Eddie Are You Kidding?" and, presumably, this song as well.
---------------------------------------------------------------
does that help?

no, not much
Whaddya mean?

well, then I've to give you one more clue
I know this is gonna give it away
and I hate like damn to tell you this
but clue number three:

---------------------------------------------
the following was posted to affz:
From: br...@dsm.fordham.edu (Brian Downing)
Date: Sat, 27 Feb 1993 18:14:13 GMT
---------------------------------------------

Ich bin Maroon!

Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa!

once upon a time
way back a long time ago,
when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than
Mark Volman ...

thank you Frank

... trying to convince each and every member
of this extremely hip audience here tonight,

that he was nothing more, nothing less

than a fat maroon sofa,

suspended in the midst of a great emptiness

a light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)

And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord
and he took, he took a look at the sofa,

and he said to himself

"Quite an attractive sofa"
"This sofa could be commercial"

With a few more Margaritas and the right company

However, I digress
"What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G'
#######
---------------------------------------------------------------
From: Brian Czako <cz...@vnet.ibm.com>
Date: 5 Dec 95

[...] really should be "The Big 'G'", you know, as in God.

Brian Czako
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"
and so in order to make this construction project possible,
he summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,
and, by means of a cute little song in the German language
(which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business)

the Good Lord went something like this:

(take it away Jim Pons!)

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas Fuabodenbelag
unter diesen fetten flieaenden Sofa

and of course ladies and gentlemen that means:
"give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"
and sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness
as far as vision permits,
stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis
and the Lord put aside his huge cigar
and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa
the bulk of his message
with the assistance of a small electric clarinet
and it went something like this...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. Once Upon A Time
3. Sofa #1
These two songs were the first two parts of a big piece, that we
may call "The Big Sofa", that The Mothers used to perform in the
"Flo & Eddie Era". A good take of the whole thing can be heard in
the Rhino officialized boot "Fire!". It consists of: "Once Upon A
Time I", "Sofa #1" (these ones), "Once Upon A Time II" (a quick
reprise of OUAT I), "Stick It Out" and "Divan" (Zappa named the
last part of "The Big Sofa" in "Playground Psychotics" (disc 1,
track 13)). This version of "Stick It Out" is still officially
unreleased (April, 1995).

4. The Mammy Anthem
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 14, 1982.
[BP]: solo is shortened, original title was "Born To Suck".

5. You Didn't Try To Call Me
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Things Wayne Newton Never Told You" (LP),
"Songs Einstein, Jr Never Heard" (CD),
"Erdbeben in Munchen" (CD),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).

6. Diseases Of The Band
7. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Wrong band on the booklet: Ike Willis must be added to the line-up
listed (FZ presents IW in DOTB).

9. The Groupie Routine
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on July 7, 1971
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
The "Freak me out Frank, Freak me out" bit at the beginning appears
also on the "Remington Electric Razor" vynil bootleg. This intro is
not mentioned in the booklet but I don't think it comes from the
"Ruthie-Ruthie" tape.

10. Ruthie-Ruthie
11. Babbette
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

14. Don't Eat The Yellow Snow
Wrong band and imprecise date on the booklet: Ike Willis must be
added to the line-up listed, for the date [BP] so speaks:
a) Don't eat the Yellow Snow: Feb 19
b) Nanook rubs it: Feb 18 first show (poem parts)
Feb 19 (religion rap)
first part misses a poem recited by Warren
c) St Alphonzo's to Rollo Feb 18 first show
Some YCDTOSA series poetry Conceptual Continuity/Statistical
Density clues (see also "King Kong" from "YCDTOSA 3").

Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 21 Aug 1995

Anyway, I've found another piece of information on YCDTOSA
Vol.1. It's not my own finding, though. It's from Society
Pages #7. I've read the lyrics of Vol.1, and this reading
reminded me of an article which was in the 'DIDJA KNOW...'
column of SP #7. It says:

> DIDJA KNOW the origin of that twisted poem ("Alone in the
> hissing laboratory of his wishes...etc.") that Frank recites
> during the "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow" suite from YCDTOSA,
> VOL.1? It comes from "Under Milk Wood", a poem by Dylan
> Thomas. Since Frank misquotes the middle part of the poem,
> dropping a few words, it would seem that he must have been
> reciting it from memory.

I tried to check it by going to my university's library. Then
I did find the quoted paragragh. Here's the original:

Alone in the hissing laboratory of his wishes,
Mr Pugh minces among bad vats and jeroboams,
tiptoes through spinneys of murdering herbs,
agony dancing in his crucibles, and mixes
especially for Mrs Pugh a venomous porridge
unknown to toxicologists which will scald and
viper through her until her ears fall off like figs,
her toes grow big and black as balloons,
and steam comes screaming out of her navel.

Source: Society Pages #7, p.52.
Dylan Thomas, "Under Milk Wood", J.M.Dent & Sons Ltd.,
London, 1954, p.63.

It's interesting that while FZ himself said 'reading a book
make me sleep', he did remember Dylan Thomas's poetry. The
result of higher education?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

16. The Torture Never Stops
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on Febrauary 25, 1978
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

21. Be In My Video
The song is preceeded by a short 1970 chat in wich Aynsley Dumbar
seems to negotiate a "knob-job" with a girl who wants to go to
Orlando (thanks to Mike Keneally for having recognized the magic
two-words word "knob-job" in his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating
The Poodle" (http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes)).
This version appears in the "Does Humor Belong in Music?" video.

21. Be In My Video
22. The Deathless Horsie
23. The Dangerous Kitchen
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on August 26, 1984
(corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet).

22. The Deathless Horsie
[BP]: solo is shortened.

24. Dumb All Over
25. Heavenly Bank Account
26. Suicide Chump
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
[BP]: on both DAO and SC one solo is missing.

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 2 (October 1988, 116:42 min.)
====================================================================

1. Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme) (2:48)
2. Stinkfoot (4:18)
3. Inca Roads (10:54)
4. RDNZL (8:43)
5. Village Of The Sun (4:33)
6. Echidna's Arf (Of You) (3:30)
7. Don't You Ever Wash That Thing? (4:56)
8. Pygmy Twylyte (8:22)
9. Room Service (6:22)
10. The Idiot Bastard Son (2:39)
11. Cheepnis (4:28)
12. Approximate (8:11)
13. Dupree's Paradise (23:59)
14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango) (Mononen) (3:51)
15. T'Mershi Duween (1:31)
16. The Dog Breath Variations (1:38)
17. Uncle Meat (2:28)
18. Building A Girl (1:00)
19. Montana (Whipping Floss) (10:15)
20. Big Swifty (2:16)

General notes on the bass drum sound:

---------------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (Remco Takken)
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 1994 22:55:36 GMT

Well, you just can't believe anything you see and hear, can you
(sorry for the Hendrix quote on alt.fan.Frank Zappa). Ruben & the
Jets never mentioned any overdubs on the cd... YCDTOSA #2 believe it
or not, has the bass drum of Chad Wackerman on it. The original
Chester notes were put on harddisc, and from there the new bass drum
sound was triggered. It's still Chester's playing, with a new sound
attached to it. I heard this information from an extreme Zappa freak
and sound specialist called Nick Roovers (still a chance that I
fucked up his information, blame me in that case). I happen to like
this sound a lot, especially on headphones, check out the other
Chester Thompson passages on other YCDTOSA volumes. You can now
recognise Thompson for a sound he never heard himself, because Chad
Wackerman never played that way...
---------------------------------------------------------------------

There are only other two tracks from this band on the series: "Smell
My Beard" and "The Booger Man" both from YCDTOSA 4. The Gorilla bass
drum sounds different in these two, more natural to me also.

3. Inca Roads
The guitar solo for this version has been used, with a different
edit, for the "One Size Fits All" version of IR (see the OSFA
liner notes).

12. Approximate
The "so modern way number 3 'with the feet' " way to perform
this song is visually very "exhilarating". I highly recommend
the "Dub Room Special" video for a complete amusement with
another version of this song from an LA 1974 concert.

14. Satumaa (Finnish Tango)
Lyrics to this song and a nice photo strictly connected with
it are available through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik
web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/).
The photo is a JPEG file
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.jpg)
and is described in
http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/files/jpg/satumaa.txt.
Here is the description:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The photograph was taken at the Kulttuuritalo (Culture house)
concert hall in Helsinki on September 22, 1974. The persons are
Ruth Underwood, Chester Thompson, Matti Koskiala, George Duke,
Tom Fowler and Frank Zappa. Matti Koskiala, a veteran Finnish
drummer and percussionist, is teaching the band to play a Finnish
tango, Satumaa.

I scanned the picture from the July 1991 issue of "Muusikko", the
Finnish musicians union magazine. I didn't ask their or Mr.
Koskiala's permission.

The Finnish RSO plays at the same hall. I am proud to have played
percussion with them on this very same stage, conducted by Ingo
Metzmacher, who has recorded an excellent CD of Conlon
Nancarrow's studies with Ensemble Modern.

Matti Sunell
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Here are the lyrics:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Aavan meren tuolla puolen jossakin on maa,
missa onnen kaukorantaan laine liplattaa.
Missa kukat kauneimmat luo aina loistettaan,
siella huolet huomisen voi jaada unholaan.

Oi jospa kerran sinne satumaahan kayda vois,
niin sielta koskaan lahtisi en linnun lailla pois.
Vaan siivetanna en voi lentaa vanki olen maan,
vain aatoksin mi kauas entaa sinne kayda saan.

Lenna laulu sinne missa siintaa satumaa,
sinne missa oma armain mua odottaa.
Lenna laulu sinne lailla linnun liitavan.
Kerro etta aatoksissain on vain yksin han.

Oi jospa kerran...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

And the first two verses translate as follows:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: o...@vipunen.hut.fi (sir Ola Rinta-Koski)
Date: 8 Jul 92 12:32:22

There's a land beyond the vast sea
where waves wash on the shores of happiness
where beautiful flowers always blossom
where worries of tomorrow can be forgotten

Oh if once I could go to that fairytale land
never would I leave from there like a bird
but without wings I cannot fly, I'm a prisoner of ground
only in thoughts that reach so far can I ever there be

I don't believe an 'official' translation exists...
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 3 (November 1989, 135:03 min.)
=====================================================================

1. Sharleena (8:54)
2. Bamboozled By Love (6:06)
3. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (2:52)
4. Advance Romance (1984) (6:56)
5. Bobby Brown Goes Down (2:44)
6. Keep It Greasey (3:30)
7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:16)
8. In France (3:01)
9. Drowning Witch (9:22)
10. Ride My Face To Chicago (4:22)
11. Carol, You Fool (4:06)
12. Chana In De Bushwop (Zappa/Diva Zappa) (4:52)
13. Joe's Carage (2:20)
14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? (3:06)
15. Dickie's Such An Asshole (10:08)
16. Hands With A Hammer (Bozzio) (3:18)
17. Zoot Allures (6:09)
18. Society Pages (2:33)
19. I'm A Beautiful Guy (1:55)
20. Beauty Knows No Pain (2:55)
21. Charlie's Enormous Mouth (3:40)
22. Cocaine Decisions (3:14)
23. Nig Biz (4:59)
24. King Kong (24:32)
25. Cosmik Debris (5:13)

1. Sharleena
This version was also released (a different edit 6:47 long) as
a flexi-disc by the "Guitar Player" Magazine (Sound Page #28)
on January 1987.
[BP]: announcement, guitar duet & ending are shortened.

2. Bamboozled By Love
[BP]: Chicago, Bismarck Theatre (November 23 1984, 2nd show).
Guitar solo is shortened.

4. Advance Romance (1984)
[BP]: 00:00 Chicago '84
01:03 Vancouver, Queen Elisabeth Theatre
(December 18, 1984, 2nd show)
02:31 Chicago '84
Front part of guitar solo is missing.

6. Keep It Greasey
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 2nd show)
01:21 NYC, The Pier (August 26, 1984)
01:48 Seattle
03:23 NYC.

7. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me?
[BP]: 00:00 NYC (August 26, 1984)
00:56 NYC (August 25, 1984)

8. In France
[BP]: guitar solo is missing, harmonica solo is shortened.

9. Drowning Witch
Here is the true, complex story of this version according to [BP]:
00:00 Bolzano, Campo Comunale (July 3, 1982)
00:35 unknown 1984
01:57 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
02:28 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:40 Bolzano '82
03:42 Chicago '84 (1st show)

14. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
In the liner notes FZ tells us a story about the December 15
Salt Lake City concert, so the SLC references in the first part
of this version can't belong to the November 23 Chicago concert.
[BP]: 00:00 Seattle, Paramount Theatre (December 17, 1984, 1st show)
01:50 Chicago '84 (1st show)
02:37 unknown 1884

15. Dickie's Such An Asshole
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
DSAA is named "Tricky Dicky" on this bootleg and has the George
Duke solo cut out.
[BP]: front part is missing.

16. Hands With A Hammer
17. Zoot Allures
Bootleg(s) in which these versions (until 2:24 in ZA) have appeared:
"The Eyes Of Osaka" (2 CD)
"Strange Habits" (2 CD).
These two bootlegs have a different cover but are identical.
That band used the drum solo in HWAH as an intro to ZA, in
this version, according to [BP], is shortened. Also, HWAH and the
first part of ZA come from Osaka (Febraury 3, 1976 (source: affz,
Pat Buzby)), not from Tokio. Lastly, according to [BP], part two
of ZA (from 2:24) has been recorded on May 30, 1982.
Moreover Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

At 1:11, during Terry's drum solo, you can hear someone (maybe
Roy Estrada) shouting, something like 'Kinishinai!'. It is a
Japanese word which means 'don't worry about it', although Roy's
intonation is far different from ordinary Japanese, no Japanese
considered it as 'our language'. Interesting that the same word
is also heard on the outro of 'Dancin' Fool' (the background
vocal of FZ chating).
Source: 'ZAPPA!' (1992 Guitar&Keyboard Player special issue,
p.87).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
The Palermo riot. Here is a translation for the Italian you
can hear in this track, MB is Massimo Bassoli (see also notes
& comments to "Uncle Meat"):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
min. voice text (#) notes
TRANSLATION

1:55 FZ massimo come here

1:58 FZ bring the band on down behind me boys

2:02 MB ragazzi per favore,
zappa vorrebbe dirvi di stare calmi,
di non gettare niente nello stadio(1)
e di non ... avere problemi con la polizia.
cercate di stare calmi.
non sappiamo esattamente cosa sta succedendo
pero' cercate di mantenere la calma
cosi' si puo' andare avanti con lo spettacolo.
PLEASE GUYS,
ZAPPA WOULD TELL YOU TO BE CALM,
TO NOT THROW ANYTHING INTO THE STADIUM,
AND TO NOT ... HAVE TROUBLES WITH THE POLICE.
TRY TO BE CALM.
WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS HAPPENING
BUT TRY TO KEEP CALM
SO THAT THE SHOW CAN GO ON

2:56 FZ seduti per favore
PLEASE SEAT DOWN

3:01 GUY1 ma che e'?
(2) WHAT'S UP?

3:03 GUY2 hanno rotto, hanno rotto sta porta qui no(4) ...
(3) hanno rotto sta porta qui
perche' veniva in campo
allora siccome la polizia si e'...(5)
con(6) la porta aperta
non voleva entrasse tutta la gente. Capito?
THEY HAVE BROKEN, THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
THEY HAVE BROKEN THIS DOOR
BECAUSE OPENS TO THE FIELD
THEN SINCE THE POLICE IS ...
WITH THE DOOR OPENED
THEY DIN'T WANT ALL PEOPLE IN. UNDERSTAND?

NOTES

(1) I may be wrong but I suspect MB would say stage
instead of stadium but he was a little bit confused.

(2) Left channel.

(3) Center, then left channel.

(4) "no" means no! But you can't translate it in this
context. Maybe an attempt would be "RIGHT?".

(5) Something strange here happens: I think there is an
edit or a strange mix of the spoken parts. What i notice
is that the words before the note sign (5) do not match
with the following.

(6) Here you can hear FZ saying "nig biz"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

22. Cocaine Decisions
[BP]: 00:00 unknown 1984
00:0? into Chicago '84 (1st show)
00:49 Palermo, Stadio Comunale (July 14, 1982).

23. Nig Biz
[BP]: opening part is shortened.

24. King Kong
Wrong 1971 venue on the booklet: the concert was performed at the
Rainbow Theater.
Some "Thing Fish"/"YCDTOSA series" poetry Conceptual
Continuity/Statistical Density clues.

In "The Massive Improve'lence" (from "Thing Fish") at 2:09 Bob
Harris sings:

I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A NUN!
I WANT A BURRO
IN THE FROSTY LIGHT!

In this track at 13:50 Tommy Mars sings exactly the same verses
in a Yellow Snow 79 ("YCDTOSA 1") live poetry fashion.
Is there any reason for this?

Moreover at 14:34, during the 82' section, *DENNY WALLEY* says
"oh you want kinder garden!". Yes DW, in 1982!
What really happen is that at 11:09 in "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow"
("YCDTOSA 1") DW says "oh you want kinder garden" and this little
fragment was inserted in "King Kong" ("YCDTOSA 3") at 14:34.
Lastly, according to [BP], these are the edits:
00:00 Metz '82
05:01 London '71 (Sax & guitar solo are shortened)
12:13 London, Hammersmith Odeon (June 19, 1982, 2nd show)
(Keyboard solo & 'Garden' rap are shortened)
14:34 London '79 (see above)
14:35 Metz '82
18:02 unknown, maybe Dijon 1982
23:30 unknown 1982.

25. Cosmik Debris
[BP]: 00:00 unknown '84
00:30 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
01:36 Portland, Arlene Schwitzer Theatre (December 20, 1984)
03:12 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
03:25 Portland '84
04:04 Seattle '84 (2nd show)
04:19 unknown 1984

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 4 (June 1991, 133:59 min.)
=================================================================

1. Little Rubber Girl (Zappa/Walley) (2:57)
2. Stick Together (2:04)
3. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (3:20)
4. Willie The Pimp (2:07)
5. Montana (5:43)
6. Brown Moses (2:38)
7. The Evil Prince (7:13)
8. Approximate (1:49)
9. Love Of My Life (Collins/Zappa) (1:58)
10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos (1984) (7:11)
11. You Call That Music? (4:07)
12. Pound For A Brown Solos (1978) (6:30)
13. The Black Page (1984) (5:15)
14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game (Norworth/Von Tilzer) (3:02)
15. Filthy Habits (5:40)
16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version) (9:15)
17. Church Chat (2:00)
18. Stevie's Spanking (10:51)
19. Outside Now (6:10)
20. Disco Boy (3:00)
21. Teen-Age Wind (1:54)
22. Truck Driver Divorce (4:47)
23. Florentine Pogen (5:10)
24. Tiny Sick Tears (4:30)
25. Smell My Beard (Duke/Zappa) (4:30)
26. The Booger Man (Duke/Brock/Zappa) (2:47)
27. Carolina Hard-Core Ecstasy (6:28)
28. Are You Upset? (1:29)
29. Little Girl Of Mine (Levy/Cox) (1:41)
30. The Closer You Are (Lewis/Robinson) (2:05)
31. Johnny Darling (Statton/Statton) (0:52)
32. No, No Cherry (Ceasar/Gray) (1:26)
33. The Man From Utopia (Woods/Woods) (1:16)
34. Mary Lou (Jessie) (2:14)

1. Little Rubber Girl
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Twenty Years of Frank Zappa (Warts And All)" (12 LP).
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

6. Brown Moses
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit occurs at 2:31. There remains a real live segue from
'Brown Moses' to 'The Evil Prince'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. Let's Move To Cleveland Solos
Before the beginning of the real solos, you can hear something
you will here again (in an another version) before the beginning
of "Smell My Beard" in this volume. Here what affz said:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: s060...@let.rug.nl (R. Takken)
Date: unknown

You guys also spotted the 9 second 'motiv' played by the 73/74
band going 'rdn...rrr-rud-tud-tudn'? It isn't credited as a song,
and it appears twice on volume 4, even between two songs that
aren't even from that period!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: la...@primenet.com (Bill Lantz)
Date: Mon, 13 Mar 1995 14:30:18 MST

I think this was called The Hook, and FZ had the band (in this
case the 73-74 band IMO) cued to do it on a hand signal along
with others we all know and love.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. You Call That Music?
Performed on April, 1969 (corrected in the YCDTOSA 2 booklet)

12. Pound For A Brown Solos
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 31, 1978.

13. The Black Page (1984)
Guitar solo is from the Pier, NYC, August 26, 1984 (source:
affz, Pat Buzby).

14. Take Me Out To The Ball Game
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"I think "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" is one of the most
outstandingly absurd things ever to appear on an FZ release".

15. Filthy Habits
album(s) in which song has appeared: "Sleep Dirt" not "Studio
Tan".

16. The Torture Never Stops (Original Version)
Wrong date on the booklet: it should have been performed on May
1975 in the "Bongo Fury" concerts.

18. Stevie's Spanking
This version appears in the "Video From Hell" video.
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

The Rome performance wasn't used as a whole. Compared to Video
From Hell version, the vocal section and the first FZ's short
guitar solo is from an unknown performance. At 2:46, when Steve's
solo begins, it is edited to Rome.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. Florentine Pogen
The booklet says that this version is from a '79 concert but the
first part (until 2:16) come from a 1974 concert. Here again what
affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 8 Mar 1995 16:29:46 GMT

My theory is that the first part is from the YCDTOSA 2
Helsinki shows, since Chester's bass drum has that same
staple-gun sound as on those CDs. Just speculation, though.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. Tiny Sick Tears
Here is what Ben Watson wrote in "Frank Zappa The Negative
Dialetics of Poodle Play" (pag. 491):

This is the same routine that Zappa performed at his orchestral
concert at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion on 15 May 1970. It rubbishes
Jim Morrison's mythic expansion of Oedipal themes in "The End":
when the protagonist declares "father I want to kill you!" his
father is "beating is meat with a copy of Playboy" and says "not
now son, not now".

F.P.Tullius wrote an article on the 1970 concert entitled "Zubin
and Mothers" published in the April 1971 issue of Playboy (this
article has been posted to a.f.f-z by David L. Windt on May 26,
1995). In this article Tullius transcribed the 1970 routine.

25. Smell My Beard
See also comments to track 10 "Let's Move To Cleveland Solos".

25. Smell My Beard
26. The Booger Man
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on November 8, 1974
(source: affz, Pat Buzby (his source: "Society Pages")).

32. No, No Cherry
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

An edit from '84 band to '82 band occurs before the last word
(1:18).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 5 (July 1992, 141:11 min.)
=================================================================

1. The Downtown Talent Scout (4:01)
2. Charles Ives (4:38)
3. Here Lies Love (Martin/Dobard) (2:45)
4. Piano/Drum Duet (1:57)
5. Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata in B flat (Mozart) (4:05)
6. Chocolate Halvah (Zappa/George/Estrada) (3:25)
7. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #1 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:04)
8. Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme (1:17)
9. The Little March (1:21)
10. Right There (Zappa/Estrada) (5:07)
11. Where Is Johnny Velvet? (0:52)
12. Return Of The Hunch-Back Duke (1:44)
13. Trouble Every Day (4:07)
14. Proto-Minimalism (1:40)
15. JCB & Kansas On The Bus #2 (Kanzus/Black/Kunc/Barber) (1:11)
16. My Head? (Mothers Of Invention) (1:22)
17. Meow (1:24)
18. Baked-Bean Boogie (3:27)
19. Where's Our Equipment? (2:29)
20. F.Z./JCB Drum Duet (4:27)
21. No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve (4:45)
22. A Game Of Cards (Zappa/Sherwood/Tripp/Underwood) (0:46)
23. Underground Freak-Out Music (3:52)
24. German Lunch (Mothers Of Invention) (6:43)
25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (2:12)
26. Easy Meat (7:39)
27. The Dead Girls Of London (Zappa/Shankar) (2:29)
28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously? (1:45)
29. What's New In Baltimore? (5:04)
30. Moggio (2:29)
31. Dancin' Fool (3:13)
32. RDNZL (7:59)
33. Advance Romance (7:01)
34. City Of Tiny Lites (10:38)
35. A Pound For A Brown (On The Bus) (8:39)
36. Doreen (1:59)
37. The Black Page #2 (9:57)
38. Geneva Farewell (1:38)

General note to disc two: Bolzano, an Italian town, is mispelled in the
booklet (it says "Balzano").

14. Proto-Minimalism
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels should be added to the personnel. In 'You Call
That Music' on Vol.4, he is credited as 'guest vibe player'.
However, you can assume the other possiblity that FZ played vibes
on this tune. I think Dave is more likely.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

19. Where's Our Equipment?
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

I guess it is from the same concert as 'Ian Underwood Whips It
Out' on Uncle Meat. Then, the unknown record engineer can be
suspected as 'Mike' (see UM liner notes). (All above is guess
work. Who confirms it?).
-----------------------------------------------------------------

24. German Lunch
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Remington Electric Razor" (LP).
In this bootleg "My name is Fritz" is an excerpt from GL.

25. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Vitamin Deficiency" (2 LP).

28. Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously?
Here is the true story of this song:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: ber...@uran.informatik.uni-bonn.de (Carl Berger)
Date: 28 Jun 1994 13:15:08 GMT

This is the story of "Shall we take ourselve seriously ?" It
happened at the show in K/"oln, 21st of May 1982. (The same show
where "When no one was no one" and "But who was Fulcanelli" from
the Guitar album were recorded).

This is the preamble to the song by Frank Zappa on that night.

"Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, this is something special. Come up
to the microphone, Peter" (A guy walks onto the stage and
transtalted that stuff into german) "The last time we played here
in Cologne, something happened after the show that was
unbelievable. As you know, there is a company here in the
fatherland, that promotes concerts all over the place. And the
man, who runs this company, his name is Fritz Rau. We have know
Fritz for a long time. But the last time we played here, he put
on a performance, that was incredible. If you can imagine, grown
man, sitting in the box office at 3 o'clock in the morning,
argueing, because the roadies got to eat asparagus. Now, this was
so amazing, that I had to write a song about it. Tonight, Peter
is going to play the featured role of Fritz Rau. Now give'em the
first part of Fritz's big speech."

Peter now gave the audience an imitation of Rau's german
dialect. Pretty funny that was. I transcriped that from a tape
recorded that night. I was 14 years old, standing first row. One
of my first concerst (after Genesis and Supertramp :) The other
guy mentioned in the song, Mike Scheller, is a concert promoter
as well.

Carl
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Part of the May 21, 1982 show (including the premiere recordings
of SWTOS) is available in the "Volare" bootleg.

In his "The Poodle Bites! or Repudiating The Poodle"
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally17.html#notes) Mike
Keneally give as further details on this song:

[...] the song is about German promoter Fritz Rau's
contention that asparagus should not be offered to just
anyone backstage, causing him to throw some sort of
unseemly fit, which Frank of course immortalized in song.
[...] [the line] "shall we weep in the box-office dawn"
[...] and the falsetto passage that follows is a quote from
the Frankie Valli/Four Seasons song "Dawn"; the line is
"Dawn, go away, I'm no good for you". Get it?

33. Advance Romance
The guitar solo is a different edit of "Jim & Tammy's Upper
Room" from "Guitar". The date for J&TUR was corrected in the
YCDTOSA 2 booklet, so at the end we have: June 31, 1982,
Bordeaux, France. However the booklet of this volume does not
mention this location for any track for the '82 disc two.
Questions, questions, questions ...

37. The Black Page #2
The last part of the solo (from 6:09) has been released also
as "Which One Is It?" on the "Guitar" album. Pat Buzby observes
that presumably the entire track comes from Munich since this
is the location for "Which One Is It?" according to the "Guitar"
liner notes.

And a CC clue from Alek:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: al...@best.com (DownerMan)
Date: 19 Sep 1995

Preamble: did I RTFFAQ? No.

At 2:51 into the tune, in the right channel, begins the
distinctive (one might say monotonous) riff from Ya Hozna, and
it continues pretty much throughout the rest of the song.

[snip]

Mmmm... minutiae...

Alek
-----------------------------------------------------------------

You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore vol 6 (July 1992, 137:44 min.)
=================================================================

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath (3:01)
2. The Poodle Lecture (5:02)
3. Dirty Love (2:40)
4. Magic Fingers (2:21)
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival (2:44)
6. Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me? (4:02)
7. Farther O'Blivion (2:22)
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What? (4:03)
9. I'm So Cute (1:39)
10. White Person (2:07)
11. Lonely Person Devices (3:14)
12. Ms. Pinky (2:00)
13. Shove It Right In (6:46)
14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station (2:32)
15. Make A Sex Noise (3:09)
16. Tracy Is A Snob (3:54)
17. I Have Been In You (5:05)
18. Emperor Of Ohio (1:32)
19. Dinah-Moe Humm (3:16)
20. He's So Gay (2:34)
21. Camarillo Brillo (3:10)
22. Muffin Man (2:25)
23. NYC Halloween Audience (0:46)
24. The Illinois Enema Bandit (8:05)
25. Thirteen (Zappa/Shankar) (6:09)
26. Lobster Girl (O'Hearn/Colaiuta/Zappa) (2:21)
27. Black Napkins (5:22)
28. We're Turning Again (4:57)
29. Alien Orifice (4:16)
30. Catholic Girls (4:04)
31. Crew Slut (5:34)
32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin (3:33)
33. Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance (3:47)
34. Lisa's Life Story (Zappa/Popeil) (3:06)
35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando (5:15)
36. 200 Motels Finale (3:43)
37. Strictly Genteel (7:08)

1. The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath
Part of the M.O.I. speech included in this track is available
through the Internet from the Robbert Heederik web page

"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"

(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/), here is included with
a little correction by Charles Ulrich <cul...@POMONA.EDU>.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
"I _(you just fill in the blank)_, do hereby solemnly swear, in
accordance with the regulations of the contract with this here
rock and roll engagement. And The Imbecilic Laws of the State of
Florida, and the respective regulations perpetrated by Red-Necks
Everywhere! Do Hereby Solemnly Swear!, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, TO
REVEAL MY TUBE, WAD, DINGUS, WEE-WEE, AND OR PENIS ANYPLACE ON
THIS STAGE!! THIS Does NOT include Private Showings in the motel
room, however."
-----------------------------------------------------------------

2. The Poodle Lecture
8. Is This Guy Kidding Or What?
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 30, 1977
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed on December
5, 1980 at the Berkeley Community Theatre (source: affz, Pat Buzby).

4. Magic Fingers
5. The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival
9. I'm So Cute
12. Ms. Pinky
16. Tracy Is A Snob
18. Emperor Of Ohio
Wrong band on the booklet: Vinnie Colaiuta and Arthur Barrow must
be added, Chad Wackerman and Scott Thunes must be removed.

7. Farther O'Blivion
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Myster Box (The Rondo Hatton Band)" (10 LP),
"Cuccurullo Brillo Brullo" (2 CD).
These bootlegs contain the complete Nanook thing, really amazing.
Wrong date and band on the booklet. FO'B was performed on 1973
during the Australian summer portion of the 1973 world tour. The
line-up should also be corrected, Napoleon Murphy Brock was in that
band even if he didn't perform in this particular song.
Lastly the name of this song should incorrect. The booklet says
that "Apstrophe(')" was the album in which it has appeared, so the
correct name should be "Father O'Blivion". And here is what affz
says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92u...@chestud.chalmers.se (NAURIN, JON)
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 1995 11:38:03

I think this song's name is incorrect. "Farther O'Blivion" was an
instrumental tune, typical -73 band sort of BeBop Tango thing.
This song should be called "Father O'Blivion". Don't ask me why
the songs are named this way, I can't see any similarities
between them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

10. White Person
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Wrong date. Maybe same as The Torture Never Stops on Vol.1.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Jon Naurin wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: 92U...@chestud.chalmers.se (Jon Naurin)
Date: 15 Nov 1995

Finally, I got another tape yesterday that revealed a new error
in the YCDTOSA liner notes:

YCTDOSA 6, disc 1, track 10, "White Person". This is a
performance from Hemmerleinhalle in Neukirchen, NOT Nurnberg.
The date is February 25, 1978, NOT 1977. The musicians are
correct, though all except Zappa should be credited with
vocals.

- Jon
-----------------------------------------------------------------

11. Lonely Person Devices
Wrong date, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Should be 3.3.1976. (Also, you can recognize that this vamp is
in the same chord progression as 'Black Napkins' in 4/4. 'Panty
Rap' from Tinsel Town Rebellion is a reggae based on the same
vamp.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

14. Wind Up Working In A Gas Station
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby)
Date: 17 Jan 1994 17:11:02 GMT

Bianca Odin. She was with the fall '76 band for a couple of
months and was let go in mid-tour. (Drugs?) This was the same
lineup that later made "Zappa In New York" with the added horns.
BTW, this song (which is the only officially released performance
with Bianca) was actually recorded in late October '76, and
includes Eddie Jobson on keyboards. These omissions are two of
the innumerable errors in the liner info on YCDTOSA 4 and 6.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

15. Make A Sex Noise
Wrong date and location on the booklet: it was performed in
Binghamton on March 17, 1988 (source: affz, see below).

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: z...@maths.tcd.ie (John Walsh)
Date: 21 Apr 1995 14:56:30 +0100

spb...@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu (Pat Buzby) writes:

>YCDTOSA 6 :

> Make A Sex Noise - FZ says something near the end about finding
> sexy people in Binghamton or something like that. So could this
> be from Binghamton rather than Towson?

Yeah, the date for this recording is also wrong. On the liner
notes the date is 23-March-88 but he makes references to it being
St. Paddy's day (17-March every year) when he invites women of
irish extraction to make a sex noise on stage. I presume this
makes the date for the other song on the cd with the same date
wrong as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

17. I Have Been In You
Here is the what Frank says in the middle of the song
(from 3:01 to 4:22):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: hac...@xanth.CS.ORST.EDU (Dianne Hackborn)
Date: 8 Jun 1993 07:39:46 GMT

You know, I can hardly resist going in you because, ever since
I started writing love songs and everything and... you know, it's
very difficult when you're English not to write a love song
because... What? That's right, if you're English, you _are_
very sensitive. That's one thing I've noticed, being an English
person. In fact, I've been an English person for almost five
minutes during this song and my sensitivity has increased to the
point where... I don't know, maybe it's just all of our
traditions: the tea, Winston Churchill, his large lips and
everything. This kind of stuff, why, you start accumulating all
of this CIVILIZATION behind you, and... you know, what can you
say? If you're English, you're Really Fantastic, aren't you?
So, darling, it should come as absolutely no surprise to you that
I went back to your little teenage room and... climbed on top of
your teenage body and... took all of my English teenage clothes
off and... you know, stuck my little lips up next to your ear and
said "I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU I'M IN YOU!" But I don't want you to
get it wrong, you know, I don't just come over here and stick it
IN YOU AND IN YOU AND IN YOU because I like you. It's not
because... it's not even physical. I only do it (and remember,
taxes are really bad in England) the only reason I do it is to
sell records, and I hope you'll understand.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

23. NYC Halloween Audience
37. Strictly Genteel
This really is a completely unuseful comment, a " but what the
fuck" thing! In NYCHA you can can clearly one particular screeming
hard-core fanatic say "Zappaaaaa" or something like that. The same
clear scream once again appears at the end of SG at the end of
this disc. Hence NYCHA comes from the Halloween 1981 concert.

24. The Ellinois Enema Bandit
Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

After Ike shouts 'Isn't that amazing?' (6:29), an edit to
'81/'82 band occurs. (Ike disappered, and Steve Vai's guitar and
Ed Mann's marimba come in, and also, the bass is switched to
Mini-Moog bass.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

26. Lobster Girl
Wrong date on the booklet: it was performed on October 29, 1978
(source: affz, Pat Buzby).

27. Black Napkins
The guitar solo comes from a 1984 concert.
Moreover, Tan Mitsugu wrote:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: a930...@eds.ecip.nagoya-u.ac.jp (Tan Mitsugu)
Date: 17 Jul 1995

Dave Samuels is omitted again. He is inaudible though, should
be added.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

28. We're Turning Again
Here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"[...] You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

29. Alien Orifice
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).
Some comments for these bootlegs from from "alt.fan.frank-zappa FAQ,
Bootlegs Information, Part 2 of 2, Version 2.3, September 26, 1994":
"Solo edited on YCDTOSA 6, full length here".
Moreover the ending comes from a 1988 concert. You can hear the best
horn section you never heard in you life.

32. Tryin' To Grow A Chin
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Tiny Nightmares" (2 LP);
"Zurkon Music" (LP);
"Donna You Wanna" (CD).

34. Lisa's Life Story
Bootleg(s) in which this version has appeared:
"Demo's" (LP).
Once again band and date errors, here is what affz says:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: u911...@muss.cis.McMaster.CA (P. Psutka)
Date: 18 Mar 1995 12:08:04 -0500

"Lisa's Life Story" is actually from '81 (and might not have Ike
Willis on it unless he sat in for that show.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------

35. Lonesome Cowboy Nando
The double issue 14-15 of Debra Kadabra, the Italian fzine
published by the Italian FZ Research Kitchen also called DK, will
include the true story of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando". Nando is
Fernando ("all my friends they call me DO" ... "Nan-Nan-Nan
DO-DO-DO") Boero, a marine biologyst from Genoa, they Italian
city where the 88 part of "Lonsome Cowboy Nando" was recorded.
Nando wrote for us the story of his friendship with FZ, it's a
very nice story, I hope I'll find someone from affz that will want
to translate it in English. Menwhile here is a rough translation
of the begining of the article:

"There is nothing I'd like better than having a jellyfish named
after me" (FZ).

In 1982, after becoming a researcher in the University of
Genoa, I asked for a work fund that could allow me to be for
a long time in the Bodega Marine Laboratory of the University
of California, Berkeley. The purpose was to study the
taxonomy and the ecology of the local jellyfish fauna (yes,
there exist people who earn a living studing jellyfish).
Actually the true purpose was another one: to meet Frank
Zappa. My strategy was a simple one:

- that fauna was (and is) not well known;
- I would find some new species for sure;
- once I have found them I would have to give them a name;
- I would dedicate one of them to FZ;
- I would tell him about it;
- He would invite me for a visit.

And that's how it went.

[...]

Also, here is what Mike Keneally writes on his web page
(http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/zappa.html):
"My personal favorite MK contribution to a Zappa CD occurs in
"Lonesome Cowboy Nando", when I attempt to cram the line "I
describe the little dangling utensils on this thing and tell him to
draw it up so that it looks just like a brand new jellyfish" into
the same space where I would normally say "stomp in his face so he
don't move no more". The first time I listened to this song with
Frank, he applauded me after that section. One o' them priceless
moments. You will also hear me lose control of my guitar after the
Hendrix section in "We're Turning Again", to Ike's audible
amusement".

Lyrics to this song are available through the Internet from the
Robbert Heederik web page "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"
(http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/):

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Frank:
My name is Nando,
I'm a marine biologist.
All my friends,
they call me "Doh".

Ike & Mike:
Hi, Doh!

Frank:
All my family,
from someplace in this area,
And they complain if I talk about this horrible pizza
during the show.

All:
Come out here, to Californy,
Just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones I seen gets me so horny,
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.
Wanna a jellyfish, I'll even pay.
I'll buy 'em furs, I'll buy 'em pizza,
I know they like me, here's what I'll say:

(1971:)

Jimmy Carl Black:
I'm lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt?
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress...

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. A-Ha!

Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy:

Come on in this place

An' I'll buy you a taste.

You can sit on my face.

Where's my waitress?

Mark & Howard:
Burtram, Burtram redneck!
Burtram, Burtram redneck!

Jimmy:
I'm an awful nice guy.
Worked all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
Quite a bundle I've made,
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.

Mark & Howard:
He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

(1988:)

Ike:
"Darling, I crazy go nuts when I hear this,
you know what I'm sayin'?"

Frank:
When I get off, I get plastered.
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.
Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
so it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.

Ike & Mike:
(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)

Frank:
"Take that! Take that!"
I fuss an' I cuss and I keep on swimmin',
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.
I drool on my shorts,
I do some water sports,
Then I take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! "Sorta..."

Ike & Mike:
"Whaddya do?"
Stick it again in the bed!

Frank:
"That's right!

Ike & Mike:
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!

(1971:)

Jimmy:
Lonesome cowboy Burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt.
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress!

Mark & Howard:
He's lonesome cowboy Burt. Yee-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!

Jimmy:
Come on in this place,

an' I'll buy you a taste.

You can sit on my face.

Where's my waitress?

"Opal, you hot little bitch!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------

37. Strictly Genteel
Bootleg(s) in which these versions have appeared:
"Heavenly Bank Account" (2 LP);
"Halloween" (LP).

THE END

SPECIAL THANKS to
the next three web-makers:

*Scott Chatfield* <sc...@cts.com>
for his
"Mike Keneally Page"
<http://psy.ucsd.edu/~scott/keneally.html>

*Robbert Heederik* <heed...@fwi.uva.nl>
for his

"St. Alphonzo's Pancake Homepage"

<http://www.fwi.uva.nl/~heederik/zappa/>

*Marianne Mueller* <m...@eng.sun.com>
for her
"The Black Page!"
<http://www.catalog.com/mrm/zappa.html>

Son of SPECIAL THANKS to
the ugliest part of the body of:

*John Scialli* <sci...@primenet.com>

The return of the son of SPECIAL THANKS to:

*Ale Sordi* & *Debra Kadabra*

_____________________________________________________________________________
Francesco Gentile ______ ZappioLatino
|___| | (a 3 persons hard-core organization)
| / |__| *
|/_____| Debra Kadabra
gent...@xantia.caspur.it |______| (the Italian FZ Research Kitchen)
_____________________________________________________________________________

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