=============> SANTA SATAN <=============

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ChasNemo

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Dec 24, 2007, 1:43:53 PM12/24/07
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I first fathomed this issue after reading a pithy little tract titled
"The Last Days of Christ the Vampire" by J.G. Eccarius. Eccarius'
thesis is that xtianity has its origins in a vampire cult. That
theory is quite convincing in spite of its purported fictionality.
This communion command originally might have been intended literally:
"Drink, for this is my blood!" I thought to myself, "If christ was/
is
a vampire, then it's equally plausible that Santa is really Satan!"

Think about it, folks! It's not just that "Santa" is an obvious
anagram Of Satan; that his last name "Claus" is Olde English for the
"hoof-claws" inside those big, black boots; that Santa wears a
demonic
red suit symbolic of the fires of Hell; and that his huge hat must
conceal horns. The clincher is that Santa represents xmas -- that
time of year when xtian greed and phony sincerity reach their
unctuous
peak. It's the season when braindead followers of the ultimate
vampire cult are whipped into frenzies that leave them figuratively
drained -- broke and exhausted.

Understandably, it's also the time of the year when depression and
suicides max out as the futility of achieving happiness sinks in at
least subliminally. A December 2000 Gallup poll shows that 85% of us
think that xmas is too commercial, but Santa/Satan wouldn't have it
any other way! Our most respected institutions are in on the plot
too. Even the law of the land forbids a baby jesus in the town
square, but who's there instead? You guessed it! Santa!

Satan once was god's favorite angel. Satan's attempted heavenly coup
failed, but he was given his very own place to rule and called it
Hell. Satan also got free reign to tempt as many people as he wanted
(even christ himself!) and lots of fabulous stuff to tempt them with
(like eternal youth and Mercedes Benzes). However, Satan still was
not satisfied. He worked hard to make xmas the most important retail
event of the year. A recent survey showed that 60% of holiday
spending occurs at xmas, and another 20% at Satan's recognized
holiday
of Halloween. Think about it, folks! Satan has locked up 80% of our
holiday dollars! Who else could be the "red dragon" of Revelation
12:3?

Satan's evil plan has created jobs for hundreds of thousands of
lecherous old pedophiles throughout this godly country every
December. These filthy, homeless hobos just lie on their urine-
stained cardboard beds 11 months out of the year, dreaming of xmas
when they can traipse drunkenly into the warmth of department stores
and have innocent little xtian children sit on their vermin-infested
laps. Unwary parents happily snap pictures while Satan's obesely
wheezing servants ask their children whether they've been "bad" and
whisper lewd suggestions in their angelic little ears with their
filthy booze-breath and cigarette-discolored lips. How many
unsuspecting tots have suffered a quick grope before Santa's little
helpers move on to the next hopeful child in line? More important is
that asking Santa for something really is an unwitting pact with the
Devil, and parents are dooming their children's souls to Hell!

"Santa Satan's" devilish temptations have achieved what John Lennon
could only try to claim for the Beatles -- greater popularity than
jesus! Indeed, "Santa Satan" truly is the reason for the season!
HAIL SANTA!!!

Still not convinced? Here's more: Santa Claus & HO HO HO = 666

S A N T A C L A U S
19 + 1 + 14 + 20 + 1 + 3 + 12 + 1 + 21 + 19 = 111*6 = 666
-----------------------------------------------------------

H O H O H O
8+15 8+15 8+15

23 23 23

2*3 2*3 2*3

6 6 6
-----------------------------------------------------------

H(ijklmn)O H(ijklmn)O H(ijklmn)O

6 Letters 6 Letters 6 Letters
Between Between Between
H&O H&O H&O

6 6 6
-----------------------------------------------------------

Another point: Why are so many Santas men? This is both unfair and
unwise, since women are being slighted and educational opportunities
missed. After all, we have female sports announcers, female golfers
challenging the best male players, female military leaders and female
leaders of countries. Why not female Santas too? Visits to Santa
will become "reverse lap dances" right in the middle of crowded
department stores. Thus boys will continue to believe in Santa Claus
beyond the age of five, and girls will see firsthand the effects
they'll have after they grow tits. Yes, the time has cum to hire
female Santa Clauses...

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