CNN IN DEEP, DEEP SH*T

[ED CONRAD]

Margaret, Send out this confidential memo soon
as you can.
CNN MEMO
(STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL)

From the desk of Andrew Morse, Senior Vice President,
CNN U.S. and GM CNN Digital

===========

YOUR STRICT ATTENTION, PLEASE!

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Ed Conrad
will NOT be a subject of an interview or a story or CNN
now or in the foreseeable future,
<
As most of you undoubtedly are aware, our programming
preferences are over-the-hill actresses, politicians
who speak out of both sides of their mouth, serial
killers, con artists, bag-of-wind preachers and, of course,
the occasional tyrant or two.
<
However, we cannot deal with Ed Conrad's substantial
physical evidence that Man is as Old as Coal or that
Death DOES NOT Exist.
<
Just imagine if we investigated and found out that
the Moron was right: We'll have to burn all of our
science books, the pseudo-scientists (that's what
he calls them) would all be out of jobs and there
would be pandemonium in all of the churches on the
planet.
<
We must do all we can to make sure nothing Ed has
been preaching gets out to the public or our ass
is grass (both advertising and viewer-ship).

I repeat: This correspondence must be kept strictly
confidential. For God's sake, don't breathe a word
to the press. (I'd suggest you eat this memo first
before you let it out of your sight.)

Meanwhile, I'm off to Chicago but will be back at the
office tomorrow or Thursday if there are any questions
about my decision.
< -- Andrew Morse

PS: Here's what we're up against with the Moron . . .
<
(PETRIFIED HUMAN REMAINS FOUND BETWEEN COAL VEINS)

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FINGERSx.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z8femur.jpg

PETRIFIED HUMAN SKULL

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z11calv.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Skullx.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG

HUMAN CRANIUM EMBEDDED IN A BOULDER

http://www.edconrad.com/oldascoal/page3_files/body_data/skulla.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/oldascoal/page3_files/body_data/skullb.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SkullBoulderSide.jpg

====================================
====================================

TEST RESULTS OF GRANULES REMOVED FROM
SKULL-LIKE OBJECT EMBEDDED IN BOULDER

OFFICIAL REPORT
AMERICAN MEDICAL LABORATORIES
Chantilly, Va.

51945059/0 Received: 04/08/2000

75843/Chantilly For Null

CALCULUS ANALYSIS BY CRYSTALLOGRAPHY

The specimen consists of a few small
pieces of dried blood. None of the
constituents normally found in urinary
calculi are present.


*** FINAL REPORT ***

CP 978171-CS 84751

Nathan Sherman, M.D.
Director of Laboratories

Submitted by Physicians Clinical Laboratory
Hazleton National Bank Building
101 W. Broad St. Hazleton, Pa. 18201

==================================
==================================
<
MORE PETRIFIED HUMAN REMAINS

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanJaw3.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/newtibia.jpg

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder1.jpg
(PS: CAT-scan revealed it contains a gallstone)

http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanBrain.jpg

MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
<
======================
<
PROOF OF LIFE AFTER DEATH
<
http://www.edconrad.org

============================
<
(c) Gerhard Zeiler - President, Turner Broadcasting System International
Ken Jautz - Executive Vice President of CNN, responsible for CNN/US
Tony Maddox - Executive VP and Managing Director of CNN International
Jeff Zucker - President of CNN Worldwide
Gerhard Zeiler - President, Turner Broadcasting System International
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=============

MARGARET, MAKE SURE YOU SEND THIS
MEMO TO THESE STAFFERS AS WELL . . .

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<
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<
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==========

To amo...@cnn.com

Mr. Morse:

Margaret here.

I've sent this email just in case our phones
are tapped.

I want you to know that I personally emailed
your confidential memo to all those on your list.

Unfortunately, I accidentally sent one to the
"Moron" as well.

I had gone to lunch with the girls to celebrate
Henrietta's birthday and probably had one or two
martinis too many when I returned to the office
to finish sending them out.

Margaret

PS, When you get back to New York, I hope we can
continue our discussions about my raise.