Fit the Fourth - froup production
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
by Douglas Adams
Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
Fat Sam
Fat Sam settles down in a comfy chair with a cup of tea to enjoy the show.
Dave Adalian
news:1188236839.2670.6.camel@colin...
The Eagles' JOURNEY OF THE SORCERER swells then fades to background
NARRATOR: (Clears throat *a-hem* and turns up the bass and
air-of-sophistication modulators to 9.5) The story so far:
(Turns down modulators a bit) In the beginning the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad
move. Many races believe that it was created by some sort of god, though the
Jatravartid people of Viltvodle Six firmly believe that the entire Universe
was, in fact, sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green
Arkleseizure.
(Hopes some future scriptwriter won't try to base a movie on this) The
Jatravartids, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call 'The Coming
of the Great White Handkerchief', are small, blue creatures with more than
fifty arms each, who are therefore unique in being the only race in history
to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel. However, the Great
Green Arkleseizure theory was not widely accepted outside Viltvodle Six. And
so, one day, a race of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings built
themselves a gigantic supercomputer called Deep Thought, to calculate once
and for all the answer to the Ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and
Everything. For seven-and-a-half million years Deep Thought computed and
calculated and eventually announced that the answer was in fact, "Forty-Two".
And so another, even bigger computer had to be built to find out what the
actual question was. And this computer, which was called the Earth, was so
large that it was frequently mistaken for a planet - particularly by the
strange ape-like beings who roamed its surface, totally unaware that they
were simply part of a gigantic computer program. And this is very odd,
because without that fairly simple and obvious piece of knowledge, nothing
that ever happened on Earth could possibly make the slightest bit of sense.
However, at the critical moment of readout, the Earth was unexpectedly
demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass, and the only hope of
finding the Ultimate question now lies buried deep in the minds of Arthur
Dent and Trillian, the only native Earth people to have survived the
demolition. Unfortunately, they and their strange companions from Betelgeuse
are at the moment being shot at, behind a computer bank on the lost planet
of Magrathea. This is what the computer bank is about to do:
-- Dave
Read my latest astronomy column!
http://starry-starry-nights.blogspot.com/
Dave Adalian
news:HsEAi.337$Sd4...@nlpi061.nbdc.sbc.com...
F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE [1]
-- Dave
Read my latest astronomy column!
http://starry-starry-nights.blogspot.com/
[1] I thought Andy was our Foley artist for this fit?
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
*cheers and claps hands*
Yay! Hooray!
*places an enormous bowl of popcorn*
*whispers* popcorn, anyone?
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
God, root, what is difference?
God is more forgiving.
----------------------------------------------[ moffe at zz9 dot dk ] --
Dave Adalian
NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty seconds from
now.
Fat Sam
> Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <ne...@kaarefc.dk> hit the keyboard.
> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>
>> ANNOUNCER:
>> _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
>>
>> by Douglas Adams
>>
>> Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
>
> *cheers and claps hands*
>
> Yay! Hooray!
>
> *places an enormous bowl of popcorn*
>
> *whispers* popcorn, anyone?
No thanks. I've got tea. Fancy a cuppa?
Ford Prefect
> "Dave Adalian" <dave.a...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> news:IM5Bi.4129$JD....@newssvr21.news.prodigy.net...
> > "Dave Adalian" <dave.a...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> > news:HsEAi.337$Sd4...@nlpi061.nbdc.sbc.com...
<snip>
> >> NARRATOR: [snip] This is what the computer bank is about to do:
> >
> > F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE
>
> NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty seconds from
> now.
FORD: *Slightly disoriented as if he is feeling some sort of déjà vu*
The computer bank is absorbing a hell of a lot of energy - I think
it's about to blow up!
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
> Rasmus "Bøg" Hansen wrote:
>> Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <ne...@kaarefc.dk> hit the keyboard.
>> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>>
>>> ANNOUNCER:
>>> _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
>>>
>>> by Douglas Adams
>>>
>>> Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
>>
>> *cheers and claps hands*
>>
>> Yay! Hooray!
>>
>> *places an enormous bowl of popcorn*
>>
>> *whispers* popcorn, anyone?
>
> No thanks. I've got tea. Fancy a cuppa?
Fair enough. A cup would be a nice supplement to the popcorns.
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
Windows NT: Insert Wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
--Matt Garrison, MacLine
Fat Sam
> "Fat Sam" <saman...@knox.orangehome.co.uk> hit the keyboard.
> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>
>> Rasmus "Bøg" Hansen wrote:
>>> Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <ne...@kaarefc.dk> hit the keyboard.
>>> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>>>
>>>> ANNOUNCER:
>>>> _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
>>>>
>>>> by Douglas Adams
>>>>
>>>> Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
>>>
>>> *cheers and claps hands*
>>>
>>> Yay! Hooray!
>>>
>>> *places an enormous bowl of popcorn*
>>>
>>> *whispers* popcorn, anyone?
>>
>> No thanks. I've got tea. Fancy a cuppa?
>
> Fair enough. A cup would be a nice supplement to the popcorns.
Reminds me of an odd incident when I lived in Italy in 1999.
I'm an Irishman by borth and by upbringing, so wherever I've travelled to
around the world, I've always had a sixth sense that allowed me to sniff out
Irish bars, or at least somewhere I can buy a pint of Guinness.
Well, in the grand city of Pordenone, at the foot of the Dolomites, I
discovered a nice little Irish pub which I happily decided to call home.
I ordered my first pint of Guinness since arriving in Italy the previous day
and was just about to tuck-in when the barman handed me a small cardboard
container full of popcorn.
It was obviously a genuine Guinness merchandise thing, because it was in the
colours with the famous Guinness logo.
Now, I must admit. This threw me. I was quite taken aback, and I struggled
for a moment to find my words.
When I eventually found them, it became apparent that the search had been a
futile one, because the best I could muster was a confused sounding
"Er...What's this?"
The barman turned and said to me in all seriousness. "Eet eez a box-a of-a
de Pop-a-Corno. Eet eez an old-a Irish-a tradition no? You dreenka de
Guinness, and you eat-a de Pop-a-Corno all-a de time een Irlando si?"
You'll have to excuse my attempt at an Italian accent, I'm not terribly good
at them.
But to translate, the Italian barman was convinced that popcorn is a
traditional accompaniment to Guinness, and he was amazed and astounded that
I, as a native irishman, didn't realise that.
I have to admit though, it was a very good pint of Guinness, and thats a
serious acchievement, as it's notoriously difficult to get a decent pint of
Guinness outside of Ireland. There's a real art to storing and pouring it,
and if you get it wrong, yuo can ruin the taste completely.
Dave Adalian
news:8LydnXfQIKgRYEjb...@giganews.com...
I thought the traditional Irish accompaniment to a Guinness was another
Guinness.
Fat Sam
I can see you have Irish blood in your veins my friend.
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
> On Wed, 2007-08-29 at 16:56 +0000, Dave Adalian wrote:
F/X: HEAVY OSCILATING HUM BUILDS UP WITH THE ENERGY BEING PUMPED INTO
IT BY BY CONTINUING GUNFIRE *wrooop* *wroooop* *wrooooop*
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
Computers are like airconditioners:
They stop working properly if you open windows.
Lee K. Seitz
I thought you were doing Fit the *Fifth* this time around.
--
lkseitz (Lee K. Seitz) .at. hiwaay @dot@ net
"I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of
people will attend your funeral."
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Blog, 26 Mar 2006
Lloyd Gilbert
Erm, not wanting to say "Hang on a second!" too early in the events,
but aren't we doing Fit the Fifth?
Lloyd
--
"In fact, everything between 'herring' and 'marmalade'
appears to be missing" -- Svlad Cjelli
Kaare Fiedler Christiansen
> In article <1188236839.2670.6.camel@colin>,
> Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <ne...@kaarefc.dk> wrote:
> >ANNOUNCER:
> >_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
> >
> >by Douglas Adams
> >
> >Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
>
> I thought you were doing Fit the *Fifth* this time around.
Yrgh. Eh. Um. Ah.
Could the next poster in this thread please rectify the subject? Please.
Thank you.
/me goes away and hides in shame
Best,
Kåre
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
> On Thu, 2007-08-30 at 18:00 +0000, Lee K. Seitz wrote:
>> In article <1188236839.2670.6.camel@colin>,
>> Kaare Fiedler Christiansen <ne...@kaarefc.dk> wrote:
>> >ANNOUNCER:
>> >_The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
>> >
>> >by Douglas Adams
>> >
>> >Starring alt.fan.douglas-adams as the cast!
>>
>> I thought you were doing Fit the *Fifth* this time around.
>
> Yrgh. Eh. Um. Ah.
>
> Could the next poster in this thread please rectify the subject? Please.
Haha. I sat and looked the complaint over several times and at last
gave up to find out what was wrong :-)
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
The reason we come up with new versions is not to fix bugs.
-- Bill Gates
iain
<snip>
>> F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE
>
> NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty
> seconds from now.
I don't want to be pedantic-- well, alright, I *do* want to be pedantic.
But wouldn't "two weeks from now" be more accurate in this performance?
--
iain
af...@imb.clara.net http://www.zootle.net/afda/
"how can you say that iain is a furyy fpevcg?!" - kristen
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
> "Dave Adalian" <dave.a...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in
> news:ozhBi.48029$Um6....@newssvr12.news.prodigy.net:
>
> <snip>
>>> F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE
>>
>> NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty
>> seconds from now.
>
> I don't want to be pedantic-- well, alright, I *do* want to be pedantic.
> But wouldn't "two weeks from now" be more accurate in this performance?
Not really. Actually the break was inserted to make room for the
used record sale outside afda. So the two weeks were used otherwise
and the break was actually only around twenty seconds.
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
Windows NT: Insert Wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
--Matt Garrison, MacLine
Dave Adalian
news:87tzqbb...@eddie.zz9.dk...
> iain <af...@imb.clara.net> hit the keyboard.
> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>
>> "Dave Adalian" <dave.a...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in
>> news:ozhBi.48029$Um6....@newssvr12.news.prodigy.net:
>>
>> <snip>
>>>> F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE
>>>
>>> NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty
>>> seconds from now.
>>
>> I don't want to be pedantic-- well, alright, I *do* want to be pedantic.
>> But wouldn't "two weeks from now" be more accurate in this performance?
>
> Not really. Actually the break was inserted to make room for the
> used record sale outside afda. So the two weeks were used otherwise
> and the break was actually only around twenty seconds.
That must be the relativity thingy that Einstein fellow was always going on
and on about.
Rasmus Bøg Hansen
Afterwards the following was on the screen:
> "Rasmus "Bøg" Hansen" <spa...@zz9.dk> wrote in message
> news:87tzqbb...@eddie.zz9.dk...
>> iain <af...@imb.clara.net> hit the keyboard.
>> Afterwards the following was on the screen:
>>
>>> "Dave Adalian" <dave.a...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in
>>> news:ozhBi.48029$Um6....@newssvr12.news.prodigy.net:
>>>
>>> <snip>
>>>>> F/X: DEVASTATING EXPLOSION, BUT AN EXTREMELY WEIRD SOUNDING ONE
>>>>
>>>> NARRATOR: And the time at which it is going to do it is twenty
>>>> seconds from now.
>>>
>>> I don't want to be pedantic-- well, alright, I *do* want to be pedantic.
>>> But wouldn't "two weeks from now" be more accurate in this performance?
>>
>> Not really. Actually the break was inserted to make room for the
>> used record sale outside afda. So the two weeks were used otherwise
>> and the break was actually only around twenty seconds.
>
> That must be the relativity thingy that Einstein fellow was always going on
> and on about.
Indeed. I am sure he had radio plays in mind when developing the
relativity theory.
--
-- [ Rasmus "Møffe" Bøg Hansen ] -------------------------------------
[...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum
possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP
to talk to the University of Mars.