More quotes / Re: Best quotes from the Hitchhiker books
Dave Hardenbrook
ARTHUR (_HHGttG_, when first aboard HoG): "I wonder what will happen if I press
this button...? (He does so) Oh!"
FORD: "What happened?"
ARTHUR: "A sign lit up saying, 'Please do not press this button again!'"
---------
ARTHUR (_Restaurant_, as he and Ford are taken prisoner aboard the 'B' Ark):
"Why isn't anyone ever pleased to see us?"
---------
CREATURE EMERGING FORM NEW YORK SLIME (Ford's dream in _SLATFAT Fish_): "Hi!
I've just been created. I'm entirely new to the universe in all respects.
Is there anythign you can tell me?"
FORD: "Whew! I can tell you where some good pubs are, I guess."
CREATURE: "I feel a great need for love and happiness...Got any leads there?"
FORD: "You can get some of that on Seventh Avenue."
---------
MARVIN (Radio series 2): "I ache, therefore I am."
---------
BRONTITAL BELLMAN (Radio series 2): "Bring out your dishwashers, bring out
your digial watches with the special snooze alarm...!"
---------
MARVIN (Radio series 2): "Oh dear, I think you'll find reality's on the blink
again..."
Those are the ones I can think of off hand... :)
-- Dave
Oliver Broadway
it may not be word perfect) is:
ARTHUR: It's at times like this that I really wish I'd listened to what
my mother told me when I was a boy.
FORD: Why, what did she tell you?
ARTHUR: I don't know, I didn't listen!
I've caught out many people with this one.
Oli
Trevor Clarke
>..my favourite quote is
..snipped..
From the radio series (link between Series 1 and Series 2):
Zaphod: Zarniwoop. Get me Zarniwoop!
Receptionist: I'm afraid Mr Zarniwoop is too cool to see you at the
moment.
Zaphod: I'm so cool, you could keep a side of beef in em for a week.
I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis, GET ME ZARNIWOOP!!
Receptionist: Look, just who do you think you are! Zaphod Beeblebrox
or something?
Zaphod: Yeah, count the heads!
Receptionist: What, you mean you are Zaphod Beeblebrox? THE Zaphod
Beeblebrox?
Zaphod: No, just A Zaphod Beeblebrox. Haven't you heard, I come in
sixpacks!!
IMHO one of the best ever FWIW. Sorry about the long post, but it
needs the build-up to make the best of the punchline.
--
The Pseudosophist
--
Nietzche, where are you now, when we need you most?
Organised religion sucks, its everyone for themselves!!
Paul J. Kossick
"You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun
place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
Rather early, in chapter 5 of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...but
it's always been a favourite of mine. :)
--
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Paul J. Kossick Should I kiss the vipers' fang
kos...@crl.com Or herald loud the death of Man?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Spoons
>
> "All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"
> "You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun
> place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
> "I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
>
> Rather early, in chapter 5 of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...but
> it's always been a favourite of mine. :)
Yes, part of the funniness is the way he writes. Another example..
This from the third book, which I loaned to a friend, so I can't quote it
word for word.
<whole bunch of stuff about Arthur and his fights with Ford, and
how they hated each other and everything... pages.>
The next day, Arthur went out and made a bag out of rabbit skin so he
could put things in it.
Random as hell. :)
Oliver Broadway
>The next day, Arthur went out and made a bag out of rabbit skin so he
>could put things in it.
This is a brilliant example of a sound principle in comedy; that the
blindingly obvious is very often extremely funny - the blindingly
obvious in this case being Arthur's reason for making his bag.
Another good example is:
Arthur: I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was
young.
Ford: Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur: I don't know, I didn't listen.
Oli
Ville Sinkko
: "Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
: "The yellow spaceships hung in the sky much the way bricks don't."
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
Or was that too obvious?
--
65
Zn
30
Jonathan D. Barton
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many,
a sizable number of which are continually clogging up the civil,
commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and
especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.
The previous sentance makes sense. That is not the problem.
This is:
Change.
Read it through again and you'll get it.
I've read all of the DA books countless times, but I always have to
stop after reading this one because I'm too busy peeing my pants to
continue reading.
(Start of ch21 from SLATFATF)
Weeeeelaaaaah!
Jon
Jamie E. Snyder
> Paul J. Kossick wrote:
> >
> > "All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"
> > "You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun
> > place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
> > "I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
> >
> > Rather early, in chapter 5 of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...but
> > it's always been a favourite of mine. :)
>
> Yes, part of the funniness is the way he writes. Another example..
> This from the third book, which I loaned to a friend, so I can't quote it
> word for word.
>
> <whole bunch of stuff about Arthur and his fights with Ford, and
> how they hated each other and everything... pages.>
>
> The next day, Arthur went out and made a bag out of rabbit skin so he
> could put things in it.
>
> Random as hell. :)
>
>
It's not random. The rabbit that he made the bag from turned out to be
Agrajag(or whatever his name is) in one of his lives.
Jamie Snyder
jsn...@bvsd.k12.co.us
joseph chacko
>
> Paul J. Kossick wrote:
> >
> > "All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"
> > "You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun
> > place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
> > "I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
> >
> > Rather early, in chapter 5 of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...but
> > it's always been a favourite of mine. :)
>
> Yes, part of the funniness is the way he writes. Another example..
> This from the third book, which I loaned to a friend, so I can't quote it
> word for word.
>
> <whole bunch of stuff about Arthur and his fights with Ford, and
> how they hated each other and everything... pages.>
>
> The next day, Arthur went out and made a bag out of rabbit skin so he
> could put things in it.
>
> Random as hell. :)
>
out to be the main theme of the trilogy.
It has nothing, however, to do with Random.
Truly yours,
Psst
Master Brain
and Everything:
"Aurthur felt very happy. He was terribly pleased with how the day was
for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago
he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a
chesterfield sofa accross the fields of prehistoric earth."
tell me the man who wrote that was no completely insane!
Justin C
>> >
>> > "All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"
>> > "You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun
>> > place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
>> > "I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
>> >
>>
>> could put things in it.
>>
>>
>Agrajag(or whatever his name is) in one of his lives.
>
--
Justin C - Outside the asylum. jus...@j-catter.demon.co.uk
joseph chacko
> >On Mon, 29 Jan 1996, Spoons wrote:
> >
> >> Paul J. Kossick wrote:
> >> >
> >> > "All right, so I'm panicking, what else is there to do?"
> >> > "You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a
fun
> >> > place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear."
> >> > "I beg your pardon?" asked Arthur, rather politely he thought.
> >> >
Galaxy...but
> >> > it's always been a favourite of mine. :)
> >>
> >> Yes, part of the funniness is the way he writes. Another example..
> >> This from the third book, which I loaned to a friend, so I can't quote
it
> >> word for word.
> >>
> >> <whole bunch of stuff about Arthur and his fights with Ford, and
> >> how they hated each other and everything... pages.>
> >>
he
> >> could put things in it.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >It's not random. The rabbit that he made the bag from turned out to be
> >Agrajag(or whatever his name is) in one of his lives.
> >
> > jsn...@bvsd.k12.co.us
> >
>
> True. It _was_ Agrajag, but what better example of randomness do you get
than
> the whole Agrajag situation? IMHO, it is in fact part of the peculiar
genius
> DNA posesses.
>
> Evan.
No, I meant Random, not random. Still, I was wrong anyway, since everything
is fundamentally interconnected.
--
joseph chacko
Justin C
Arthur: "And this his sofa, is it?"
In fact replace that quote with the whole effing chapter (Chapter 2
LTUAE), it still has me ROTFL.
--
Information is not knowledge.
Justin C - By the sea. Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
jus...@j-catter.demon.co.uk Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is the best. (Frank Zappa)
Marc van den Dikkenberg
>Well, my favourite character is Marvin, hence the best line imho is:
>"Life! Don't talk to me about life"
>not much less funnier:
>"I am 30,000 times more intelligent than you. It gives me a headache to think
>myself down to your level"
He took another sip of water, then held it up to the light and frowned at it.
He twisted it round. 'Hey, is there something in this water?' he said. 'Er,
no, m'lud,' said the Court Usher who had brought it to him rather nervously.
'Then take it away,' snapped Judiciary Pag, 'and put something in it. I got
an idea.'
I know, long & not really important, but fun anyway ;)
Excelsior
-
Soon to be ex...@xs4all.nl and <http://www.xs4all.nl/~excel>
Timothy Clark
>From: Master Brain <maste...@crystalpt.com>
>Subject: Re: Best quotes from the Hitchhiker books
>Date: 4 Feb 1996 02:02:18 GMT
>I would have to say this is THE GREATESTB phrase from Life, the Universe,
>and Everything:
> "Aurthur felt very happy. He was terribly pleased with how the day was
>for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago
>he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a
>chesterfield sofa accross the fields of prehistoric earth."
>tell me the man who wrote that was no completely insane!
One of my favorites goes something like this (about the Guide's last
Editor-in-Chief):
Lig Lury, Jr. Missing, Presumed Fed.
the crown prince of anti-lock brakes,
nonentity the mundane,
king of the nomadic pickle tribes.
James Martin Braun
"Human beings always thought they were smarter than say, the
dolphins because of everything they had accomplished: cars, wars, atom
bombs, New York, and all the dolphins ever did was muck about in the
water all day. Oddly enough, the dolphins thought they were smarter than
the humans for precisely the same reason."
Heavily paraphrased, I know. If you prefer, there's always the
more concise:
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
--
The Mad Philosopher
"Can I trust the man on the hill who told me to trust no one?"
Jean-Pierre Louis
it. My list could get so very lengthy.
"And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been
nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for
a change..."
MARVIN: "Simple. I got very bored an depressed, so I went and plugged
myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at
great length and explained my view of the Universe to it."
FORD: "And what happened?"
MARVIN: "It committed suicide."
BENJY MOUSE: "It could always be replaced, if you think it's important."
FRANKIE: "Yes, an electronic brain, a simple one would suffice."
ARTHUR: "A simple one!"
ZAPHOD: "Yeah, you'd just have to program it to say 'What?' and 'I
don't understand' and 'Where's the tea?' Who'd know the difference?
ARTHUR: "What?"
ARTHUR TO THE NUTRI-MATIC DRINKS SYNTHESIZER OF THE SIRIUS CYBERNETICS
CORPORTION: "Ah, so I'm a masochist on a diet am I?"
NUTRI-MATIC: "You want the taste of dried leaves boiled in water?"
ARTHUR: "Er, yes. WIth milk."
NUTRI MATIC: "Squirted out of a cow?"
Jenny Atkinson
"The universe is big enough and old enough to take care of itself for
thirty minutes." It may not be quoted word for word, but go figure.
teleg...@usa.pipeline.com
In the begining the universe was created.This has made a lot of people very
angery and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
Dont talk to me about life. Poor marvin maybe we should put him in
charge of the internet.
joseph chacko
Message-ID: <828352...@sheril.demon.co.uk>
Date: Saturday, Feb 10, 1996 11.27.11
Organization: None
Reply-To: j...@sheril.demon.co.uk
X-Newsreader: Newswin Alpha 0.7
Lines: 12
Whoa there.
Now just hold on one gol'darn' tootin' minute.
How long are quotes allowed to be? If we just allow any old thing,
someone will post the whole of DGHDA here, and say it is the funniest
DNA quote he can think of. Or will they?
--
Psst
Dick Yuknavech
I always liked the odd, almost throw-away tricks that DNA does with the
language (quoted from failing memory):
The Vogon ship hung motionless in the air, in exactly the same way
that bricks don't.
The dispenser produced a cup of hot liquid that was almost, but not
quite, exactly unlike tea...
"Going through hyperspace is unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water."
The ship gave the impression of not so much having been "manufactured"
as "congealed". (can you think of another word in english that could
replace "congealed" in that sentence without diminishing it?).
...and many others...
--
Dick Yuknavech r...@mindspring.com
Bryan Cristina
It went something like
"Matter transference beams, he decided, were not as much fun as, say, a
good solid kick in the head."
--
Like the echoes of your childhood laughter... ever after
Like the first time love urged you take its guidance... in silence
Like your heartbeat when you realize you're dying... but you're trying
Like the way you cry for a happy ending... ending...
Faith No More -- The Real Thing
seth opitz
well....not being a full blown quote....I've always liked the
immortal word...."FREEYOW!!!!!"
"Life was wild, rich, and on the whole
tax-free, In those days spirits were brave, stakes were high. Men
were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from
alpha centauri were real smal furry creatures from alpha centauri"
"There is another theory, which states that this has
already happened"
"I really wish I'd
listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"why what'd she tell you?"
"I don't know I didn't
listen"
"Teriffic"
"The effect of which is like having your brain smashed
with a slice of Lemon wrapped around a large, gold brick."
"We are philosophers"
"or we may not be"
"It is known that there are an
infinite number of worlds,m but not everyone is inhabited. therefore
there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number
divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds. So if
every planet in the Universe has a population of zero, then the entire
population of the Universe must also be zero and any people you may
actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged
imagination."
Ok...there's a
bunch....now to throw some of these into my sig file.......
ME
http://don.skidmore.edu/~sopitz
new fun HHTTG page.....
http://don.skidmore.edu/~sopitz/DON'TPANIC.html
Sanity is not a trait to be desired.
"At least the world will end, an event
anticipated with great joy by many. It will end very soon, but not in
the year 2000, which has come and gone. From that I conclude that God
Almighty is not heavily into Numerology."
Ted Statham
Several of my favorites occur in TRATEOTU, actually IN Milliways. The
waiter brings a phone up to our intrepid group:
Zaphod: Hand me the rap-rod, plate captain!
Garkpit (the waiter): Sir?
Zaphod: The *phone*, waiter! Geez! You guys are so unhip its a wonder
your bums don't fall off!
Or another, after Ford has gone and had a rather one sided conversation
with Hotblack Desiato:
Zaphod: So how's he doing? (or something like that, I'm doing this from
memory)
Ford: He's spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Or this one, just after the first quote above:
Zaphod: Marvin, man! Where are you?
Marvin: I'm in the car park.
Zaphod: In the car park? What are you doing in the car park?
Marvin: Parking cars, what else do you think I'd be doing in a car park?
Anyone else have any of the more obscure ones about?
/*-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-*/
Ted Statham (tsta...@cronus.oanet.com) - No geek code defined yet...
Another *happy* consultant of the Softworks Consulting Group! | Life! Don't
Part-time Usenet Oracle. Full-time database programmer/analyst. | talk to me
Collector and fixer-upper of various computer scanned graphics. | about life!
Herman L. Boerrigter
>it's not really a quote, but I like the Perfectly Normal Beast, in
>Mostly Harmless.
IMHO, there can be only one:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
HerB
Share and Enjoy!
http://pcherb.vki.ac.be/42.htm
Justin C
<her...@vki.ac.be> wrote:
>IMHO, there can be only one:
>
>"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
>
No, no, no, no, no, no, and thrice no. You must have shit in you eye if
you can't see that this is the best quote (sorry it's so long):
'"Reverse primary thrust, Marvin," that's what they say to
me,"open airlock number three, Marvin. Marvin, can you pick up that
peice of paper?" Can I pick up that peice of paper! Here I am, brain the
size of a planet and they ask me to...'
'Yeah, yeah' sypathized Zaphod hardly at all.
'But I'm quite used to being humiliated' droned Marvin. 'I can
even go and stick my head in a bucket of water if you like. Would you
like me to go and stick my head in abucket of water? I've got one ready.
Wait a minute.'
'Er, hey, Marvin...' interrupted Zaphod, but it was too late.
Sad little clunks and gurgles came up the line.
'What's he saying?' asked Trillian.
'Nothing' said Zaphod 'he just phoned up to wash his head at
us.'
Mike Broadwater
>Debra L Schwartz <deb...@andrew.cmu.edu> uttered the following words:
>>it's not really a quote, but I like the Perfectly Normal Beast, in
>>Mostly Harmless.
>IMHO, there can be only one:
>"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
I've always been fond of:
Ford: "It's uncomfortably like being drunk."
Arthur: "Whats so bad about being drunk?"
Ford: "Ask a glass of water."
Mike
Bryan Cristina
> :@ucla.edu> <311e1b7f...@nntp3.mindspring.com>
> :<Pine.OSF.3.91.960212...@oak.cats.ohiou.edu>
> :Distribution:
>
> Bryan Cristina (bc24...@oak.cats.ohiou.edu) wrote:
> : One quote I liked that was in TRATEOTU (wow, that looks weird.. anyway)
> My own personal favorite comes from Mostly Harmless-
>
> "You'll probably be caught and incinerated and it will all be very nasty
> for you and that's just too bad. Got it?" - Ford
> * "I gurgle with pleasure" * -Colin
Oh man.. I loved Colin.. seems funny.. imagine he and Marvin in the same
room..
From Mostly Harmless, I'd have to say Arthur's yelling at Ford won my vote..
"You don't understand how important this is," he said. (Ford)
"What? You mean my daughter out there all alone in the Galaxy? You think
I don't..." (Arthur)
"Can we feel sorry for the Galaxy later?"
I like that little line, but it gets even better
Ford: "This is very, very serious indeed. THe Guide has been taken
over. It's been bought out."
Arthur: "Oh, ver serious," he shoulded. "Please fill me in straight away
on some corporate publishing politics! I can't tell you how much it's
been on my mind of late!"
Ford: "You don't understand! There's a whole new Guide!"
Arthur: "Oh!" shouted Arthur again. "Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm incoherent with
excitement! I can hardly wait for it to come out to find out which are
the most exciting spaceports to get bored hanging about in some globular
cluster I've never heard of. Please, can we rush to a store that's got
it right this very instant?"
He then goes on to talk about his bad night, but the BEST line I think in
ALL the books is
Arthur: "Why do you need to think? Can't we just sit and go
budumbudumbudm wiht our lips for a bit?"
For those wondering, in at least the American version, it's chapter 18..
Daniel Griffiths
Good point, Marvin is by far the most quotable character in the series.
Even more so if you imitate Steven Moore's Marvin-voice at the same time.
Griff
"Nobody ever listens to me."
"Shut-up Marvin"
"See what I mean?"
Joseph Larson
"..when he was suddenly killed by an overdose of brickwall while under the
influence of a red convertable."
I think. For the best hitchhikers quote, chapter 4 of HHGTTG (I think) about
the Vogon poetry.
--
/================ e-mail: jla...@mosquito.frcc.cccoes.edu =====___n___===\
|| \ oo Joseph Larson || TARDIS EXPRESS: When it |__|__| ||
|| \____|\mm J(O/SE)^ph || really has to be there YESTERDAY |[]|[]| ||
\== //_//\ \_\==================================================|[]|[]|===/
/K-9/ \/_/ "There's nothing out there you can't do, |[]|[]|JaL
/___/_____\ Yea, even Santa Claus believes in you!" =======
Ville Sinkko
The definitive best quote (drum roll please)....
"You know they've reintroduced death penalty for insurance company directors?"
"Really? No, I didn't. For what offence?"
"What do you mean, offence?"
--
65
Zn All right, you scum, you vermin, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK!!??
30