Scrooge was a Libtard!

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Lord Valve

Dec 22, 2010, 7:13:31 PM12/22/10
Scrooge Was A Liberal
by Ann Coulter

It's the Christmas season, so godless liberals are citing
the Bible to demand the redistribution of income by government
force. Didn't Jesus say, "Blessed are the Health and Human
Services bureaucrats, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"?

Liberals are always indignantly accusing conservatives of
claiming God is on our side. What we actually say is: We're
on God's side, particularly when liberals are demanding God's
banishment from the public schools, abortion on demand, and
taxpayer money being spent on Jesus submerged in a jar of
urine and pictures of the Virgin Mary covered with
pornographic photos.

But for liberals like Al Franken, it's beyond dispute that
Jesus would support extending federal unemployment insurance.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the Bible, but it
nicely illustrate Shakespeare's point that the "devil can
cite Scripture for his purpose."

What the Bible says about giving to the poor is: "Each of
you should give what you have decided in your heart to give,
not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a
cheerful giver." (2 Corinthians (9:7)

Being forced to pay taxes under penalty of prison is not
voluntary and rarely done cheerfully. Nor do our taxes go
to "the poor." They mostly go to government employees who
make more money than you do.

The reason liberals love the government redistributing money
is that it allows them to skip the part of charity that
involves peeling the starfish off their wallets and forking
over their own money. This, as we know from study after study,
they cannot bear to do. (Unless they are guaranteed press
conferences where they can brag about their generosity.)

Syracuse University professor Arthur Brooks' study of
charitable giving in America found that conservatives give
30 percent more to charity than liberals do, despite the
fact that liberals have higher incomes than conservatives.

In his book "Who Really Cares?" Brooks compared the
charitable donations of religious conservatives, secular
liberals, secular conservatives and "religious" liberals.

His surprising conclusion was ... Al Franken gave the most
of all!

Ha ha! Just kidding. Religious conservatives, the largest
group at about 20 percent of the population, gave the most
to charity -- $2,367 per year, compared with $1,347 for
the country at large.

Even when it comes to purely secular charities, religious
conservatives give more than other Americans, which is
surprising because liberals specialize in "charities"
that give them a direct benefit, such as the ballet or
their children's elite private schools.

Indeed, religious people, Brooks says, "are more
charitable in every measurable nonreligious way."

Brooks found that conservatives donate more in time,
services and even blood than other Americans, noting
that if liberals and moderates gave as much blood as
conservatives do, the blood supply would increase by
about 45 percent.

They ought to set up blood banks at tea parties.

On average, a person who attends religious services and
does not believe in the redistribution of income will
give away 100 times more -- and 50 times more to secular
charities -- than a person who does not attend religious
services and strongly believes in the redistribution of

Secular liberals, the second largest group coming in at
10 percent of the population, were the whitest and richest
of the four groups. (Some of you may also know them as
"insufferable blowhards.") These "bleeding-heart
tightwads," as New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof
calls them, were the second stingiest, just behind secular
conservatives, who are mostly young, poor, cranky white

Despite their wealth and advantages, secular liberals give
to charity at a rate of 9 percent less than all Americans
and 19 percent less than religious conservatives. They were
also "significantly less likely than the population average
to return excess change mistakenly given to them by a
cashier." (Count Nancy Pelosi's change carefully!)

Secular liberals are, however, 90 percent more likely to
give sanctimonious Senate speeches demanding the forced
redistribution of income. (That's up 7 percent from last

We'll review specific liberals next week.

Needless to say, "religious liberals" made up the smallest
group at just 6.4 percent of the population (for more on
this, see my book, "Godless").

Interestingly, religious liberals were also "most confused"
of all the groups. Composed mostly of blacks and Unitarians,
religious liberals made nearly as many charitable donations
as religious conservatives, but presumably, the Unitarians
brought down their numbers, making them second in charitable

Brooks wrote that he was shocked by his conclusions because
he believed liberals "genuinely cared more about others than
conservatives did" -- probably because liberals are always
telling us that.

So he re-ran the numbers and gathered more data, but it kept
coming out the same. "In the end," he says, "I had no option
but to change my views."

Every other study on the subject has produced similar results.
Indeed, a Google study of philanthropy found an even greater
disparity, with conservatives giving 50 percent more than
liberals. The Google study showed that liberals gave more to
secular causes overall, but conservatives still gave more as
a percentage of their incomes.

The Catalogue for Philanthropy analyzed a decade of state and
federal tax returns and found that the red states were far
more generous than the blue states, with the highest
percentage of tightwads living in the liberal Northeast.

In his book "Intellectuals," Paul Johnson quotes Pablo
Picasso scoffing at the idea that he would give to the needy.
"I'm afraid you've got it wrong," Picasso explains, "we are
socialists. We don't pretend to be Christians."

Merry Christmas to all, skinflint liberals and generous
Christians alike!

Ann Coulter is Legal Affairs Correspondent for HUMAN EVENTS
and author of "High Crimes and Misdemeanors," "Slander,"
"How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)," "Godless," "If
Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans" and most
recently, "Guilty: Liberal 'Victims' and their Assault on

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