A collection of Conan O'Brien's Michael Bolton jokes.

[Adam]

Here are some Michael Bolton jokes that have been told by Conan
O'Brien.

"In Belgium, Coca-Cola is recalling thousands of cans of their soft
drink because it was making people light headed and nauseous. Not
taking
any chances, they've also recalled Michael Bolton."

``Michael Bolton, who cut off his long hair last week, said he's
happy with his new haircut because now he only has to shower for two
minutes. Which is a relief for his neighbors because he sings in the
shower.''

``It was reported today that Michael Bolton will perform at an
upcoming fund-raiser for President Clinton. When the President heard
about it, he said, `Great. First Whitewater, now this.'''

``Last night Michael Bolton and Kenny G performed at the inaugural
ball.
It was the first time Secret Service agents have ever called in a bomb
scare that we know of.''

"The other day, Hillary Clinton spoke to Michael Bolton on the
phone. Michael Bolton told Hillary he would do anything to help her
senate campaign, so Hillary immediately asked Michael Bolton to
endorse Mayor Giuliani."

"Michael Bolton said yesterday he now wants to become an opera
singer. Which is great, because now my Dad and I can hate the
same kind of music."

"At a recent event, Michael Bolton defended President Clinton saying,
'To be human is to be flawed.' He went on to say, 'And I know what I'm
talking about because I am Michael Bolton.'"

``The other day in New York, Michael Bolton helped out two guys who
had locked their keys in their car. He didn't do anything about the
car,
he just told them, `Hey, at least you're not Michael Bolton.'''

``Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder says President Clinton and Saddam Hussein
could work everything out peacefully if they'd just sit down and
listen to rock music. After hearing this, Saddam said, `I would, but
Clinton's into all that Celine Dion-Michael Bolton crap.' ''

"The latest rumor is that Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche want to have
a
child, and they want the father to be Michael Bolton. In a related
story, Melissa Etheridge announced she's now opposed to lesbians
having
children."

``Michael Bolton says he recorded a new CD of opera songs because
he was inspired by Luciano Pavarotti. Which also happens to be the
same reason he swallowed a live pig.''

[Mrs.TydwbleachO'Brien]

THESE MICHAEL BOLTON jokes are AMAZING!!! Seriously i sent them to
my husband Bill, who HATES bOLTON and KENNY G Imagine insulting
them BOTH in ONE JOKE!!! THis is why COnan is a genius hahah
Liz

[semaJ nosnhoJ]

You deserve a hug for all your hard work.. Hmm, I wonder which one of
these jokes drove Bolton off the edge..

[Tapey]

>``Michael Bolton says he recorded a new CD of opera songs because
>he was inspired by Luciano Pavarotti. Which also happens to be the
>same reason he swallowed a live pig.''
>

This one's more of a jab at Pavarotti. And where's Pavarotti's death threat to
Conan?

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Dont make me dial you up, dude, cause this is a number you dont want to be
connected to.

-Conan