Song lyrics: Seven old ladies

[Annette Florence]

I'm wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to the song "Seven Old Ladies". The
chorus is sung to the tune of "Johnny So Long at the Fair." The chorus and
first verse are, to the best of my memory:

Oh dear what can the matter be
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory
They were there from Sunday to Saturday
and nobody knew they were there.

The first old lady, her name was McBrewster,
She couldn't see as well as she used to,
She sat on the handle and thought somebody goosed her,
and nobody knew she was there.

Later verses mention a woman who was thin and fell in, and a woman who
couldn't find any paper and instead used a brick layer scraper.

After some web searching, I've found some bawdy lyrics. This song appears to
be an old Irish drinking song. For example:
http://users.bigpond.com/kirwilli/songs/sevenold.htm

I was hoping somebody knew some clean lyrics. Maybe not perfectly clean;
after all, we're talking about women on the toilet.

Thank you,

A. Florence

[Lalbert1]

In article <9M1u3.1471$O02....@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com>, "Annette Florence"
<anne...@twcny.rr.com> writes:

The lyrics I learned at my mothers knee when I was a wee child are as follows:

Oh dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory

They were there from Sunday to Saturday

Nobody knew they were there

They said they were going to chat with the Vicar
They went in together they thought it was quicker
The lavatory door was a bit of a sticker
And the Vicar had tea alone

The first was a wife of the Deacon of Dover
Always was known as a bit of a rover
She passed out in the ladies napkin disposal
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was dear Mrs. Bickles
Found herself in a bit of a pickle
Locked out of the stalls for she hadn't a nickel
And nobody knew they were there

The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter
She couldn't wait so she used the basin
Unaware it was the basin a pope had washed his face in
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was Abigail Humphery
Who settled in and made herself comfy
Tried to get up but couldn't get her bum free
And nobody knew they were there

The next old lady was Elizibeth Spender
Was doing all right 'til her vagrant suspender
Got all twisted up in her feminine gender
And nobody knew they were there

The last was a lady named Jennifer Tripp
She couldn't wait, couldn't wait to get started
But when she sat down she only farted
And nobody knew they were there

Les

[Annette Florence]

Lalbert1 wrote in message <19990816212044...@ngol04.aol.com>...

Thank you, Les. I also got a reply e-mailed to me.

Unfortunately, these are the "dirty" lyrics that I found easily on the web.
I was hoping somebody knew slightly cleaner lyrics. Specifically, leaving
out the "ladies napkin disposal", peeing in the basin, and the "feminine
gender".

Thanks again,

A. Florence

[John Dean]

Annette Florence <anne...@twcny.rr.com> wrote in > >>

> >>I'm wondering if anyone knows the lyrics to the song "Seven Old Ladies".
> The
> >>chorus is sung to the tune of "Johnny So Long at the Fair."
> >

> >The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter
> >She couldn't wait so she used the basin
> >Unaware it was the basin a pope had washed his face in
> >And nobody knew they were there
> >

> I was hoping somebody knew slightly cleaner lyrics. Specifically, leaving
> out the "ladies napkin disposal", peeing in the basin, and the "feminine
> gender".
>
> Thanks again,
>
> A. Florence
>

The only verse I can now bring to mind is a version of the above as follows
:

The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter

Who wanted to pass some superfluous water
She tarried too long and the rising tide caught her
Nobody knew she was there

My dim recollection of the rest was that the lyrics were wittier & more
consistently in the AAA rhyme scheme than th example you've turned up on the
web. Have you tried alt.music.lyrics? It tends to cater for the younger
crowd but a few geriatrics like myself hang out there looking for turn of
the century requests. Wow - I just realised that this time next year that
last sentence will mean state of the art rap!!
--
John Dean -- Oxford
I am anti-spammed -- defrag me to reply
john...@msn.com

[aim...@gmail.com]

The way I learned it. At least in part because I can't remember all the verses.

The ___ old lady was the Duchess of Dover
And though she was known as a bit of a rover
She liked it so much she thought she'd stay over
And nobody knew she was there.

The next old lady was the Mrs Humphrey
She scooted and squirmed to get nice and comfy
But when she tried to get up she could not get her bum free
And nobody knew she was there

The next old lady was the Dowager's daughter
She tried to sit down as her mother had taught her
But she slipped and tripped and fell in the water
And nobody knew she was there