Pun of the week

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John Hatpin

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Mar 18, 2010, 7:20:03 PM3/18/10
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Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
here ...

On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:

"His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
writs!"
"Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."

Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.
--
John Hatpin
http://uninformedcomment.wordpress.com/

Peter Boulding

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Mar 18, 2010, 7:50:12 PM3/18/10
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On Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:20:03 +0000, John Hatpin
<RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote in
<53d5q51aadfsg2h3b...@4ax.com>:

>Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L,

**What?!!??**

John: you're having a long-distance amorous relationship with a humourless
anti-Brit toerag. You can do better.

>I just thought I'd share it here ...
>
>On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
>
>"His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
>writs!"
>"Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."

On second thoughts L is having a long-distance amorous relationship with a
95% humourless Brit. She can do better.

>Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.

Damn you: you've got me giggling now, too. The leftpondians will now despair
of us both, and rightly so.


--
Regards, Peter Boulding
pjbn...@UNSPAMpboulding.co.uk (to e-mail, remove "UNSPAM")
Fractal Music and Images: http://www.pboulding.co.uk/ and
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=794240&content=music

Bill Turlock

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Mar 18, 2010, 8:56:14 PM3/18/10
to
John Hatpin wrote:
>
> Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
> here ...
>
> On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
>
> "His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
> writs!"
> "Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."
>
> Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.


Oh, you have cheese over there, too?

John Hatpin

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Mar 18, 2010, 7:59:51 PM3/18/10
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Peter Boulding wrote:

> On Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:20:03 +0000, John Hatpin
> <RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote in
> <53d5q51aadfsg2h3b...@4ax.com>:
>
> >Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L,
>
> **What?!!??**
>
> John: you're having a long-distance amorous relationship with a humourless
> anti-Brit toerag. You can do better.

She ain't anti-Brit in the slightest, and she does have a very good
sense of humour, but for some reason she simply can't stand puns. I
have to be very careful when I'm talking to her, because I've had
nearly 50 years of training in punship and tend to come out with them
without prior thought.

plausible prose man

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Mar 18, 2010, 9:12:01 PM3/18/10
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On Mar 18, 7:59 pm, John Hatpin

<RemoveThisjfhop...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:
> Peter Boulding wrote:
> > On Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:20:03 +0000, John Hatpin
> > <RemoveThisjfhop...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote in
> > <53d5q51aadfsg2h3b224au8r666898b...@4ax.com>:

>
> > >Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L,
>
> > **What?!!??**
>
> > John: you're having a long-distance amorous relationship with a humourless
> > anti-Brit toerag. You can do better.  

How is she on "...as the actress said to the vicar."?


> She ain't anti-Brit in the slightest, and she does have a very good
> sense of humour, but for some reason she simply can't stand puns.

"and at these prices, I'm not a bit surprised."

> I
> have to be very careful when I'm talking to her, because I've had
> nearly 50 years of training in punship and tend to come out with them
> without prior thought.

"...as the actress said to the vicar"

Greg Goss

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Mar 18, 2010, 9:17:32 PM3/18/10
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Yes, but can they unwrap each slice individually?
--
Tomorrow is today already.
Greg Goss, 1989-01-27

John Hatpin

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Mar 18, 2010, 9:21:29 PM3/18/10
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Greg Goss wrote:

We can if we use Kraft cheese slices, available from all shitty
supermarkets.

Peter Ward

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Mar 18, 2010, 9:31:56 PM3/18/10
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John Hatpin says...

Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese.

--

Peter, from outside the asylum

I'm an alien
email: usenet at peterward dot adsl24 dot co dot uk
http://blowinsmoke.wordpress.com/
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
- Laurence J. Peter

John Hatpin

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Mar 18, 2010, 9:51:57 PM3/18/10
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Peter Ward wrote:

> John Hatpin says...
> >
> > Greg Goss wrote:
> >
> > > Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:
> > >
> > > >John Hatpin wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >> Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
> > > >> here ...
> > > >>
> > > >> On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
> > > >>
> > > >> "His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
> > > >> writs!"
> > > >> "Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."
> > > >>
> > > >> Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.
> > > >
> > > >Oh, you have cheese over there, too?
> > >
> > > Yes, but can they unwrap each slice individually?
> >
> > We can if we use Kraft cheese slices, available from all shitty
> > supermarkets.
>
> Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese.

My kids think it's food.

art...@yahoo.com

unread,
Mar 18, 2010, 9:56:59 PM3/18/10
to
On Mar 18, 7:20 pm, John Hatpin

<RemoveThisjfhop...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:
> Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
> here ...
>
> On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
>
> "His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
> writs!"
> "Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."
>
> Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.

His punishment for that one is a slap on the writs.

Mike Muth

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Mar 18, 2010, 11:24:43 PM3/18/10
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John Hatpin <RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:

Isn't that the product which is labeled "cheese food"?

--
Mike
Visit my forums at:
http://groups.google.com/group/mikes-place1
http://forums.delphiforums.com/mikes_place1/start
You can get my books at: http://tinyurl.com/yepzvap

Don K

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Mar 18, 2010, 11:49:43 PM3/18/10
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"John Hatpin" <RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote in message
news:53d5q51aadfsg2h3b...@4ax.com...

> Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
> here ...
>
> On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
>
> "His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
> writs!"
> "Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."

Anything to pass time on a writs watch.

Don


bill van

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Mar 19, 2010, 12:57:26 AM3/19/10
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In article <4BA2CBAE...@sonnnic.invalid>,

Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:

They do, but I didn't realize they had Ritz.

Bill Turlock

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Mar 19, 2010, 2:06:26 AM3/19/10
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O I C, Greg.

John Hatpin

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Mar 19, 2010, 1:29:36 AM3/19/10
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Bill Turlock wrote:

I wasn't sure if that was your point - yes, we do have Ritz crackers,
and I like them. In fact, I've run out and should buy more.

Don K

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Mar 19, 2010, 7:02:27 AM3/19/10
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"John Hatpin" <RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote in message
news:vs26q5pvbgn336t3n...@4ax.com...

Hickory, Dickory, sh*ts!
The lawyer's serving the writs.
Do what you please,
We'll have it with cheese.
Hickory, Dickory, Ritz.

Don


Peter Ward

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Mar 19, 2010, 7:20:44 AM3/19/10
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John Hatpin says...

Best to do that before you run back in again.

--

Peter, from outside the asylum

I'm an alien
email: usenet at peterward dot adsl24 dot co dot uk
http://blowinsmoke.wordpress.com/

Who says you need logic when you are arguing in a newsgroup?
- Heather

Lesmond

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:09:34 AM3/19/10
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That's not cheese in any country.

--
If there's a nuclear winter, at least it'll snow.

Rick B.

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Mar 19, 2010, 9:25:53 AM3/19/10
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Mike Muth <mike...@unverbesserlich.org> wrote in
news:Xns9D402CE45...@74.209.136.88:

> John Hatpin <RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:
>
>> Peter Ward wrote:
>>
>>> John Hatpin says...
>>> >
>>> > Greg Goss wrote:
>>> >
>>> > > Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:

>>> > > >Oh, you have cheese over there, too?
>>> > >
>>> > > Yes, but can they unwrap each slice individually?
>>> >
>>> > We can if we use Kraft cheese slices, available from all shitty
>>> > supermarkets.
>>>
>>> Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese.
>>
>> My kids think it's food.
>
> Isn't that the product which is labeled "cheese food"?

I think it's "cheese food product." If it isn't, something like it is.

David J. Martin

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:00:42 AM3/19/10
to
That sounds like either velveeta or cheez whiz. Both are almost entirely
unlike cheese.

David

Bermuda999

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:07:34 AM3/19/10
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On Mar 19, 8:25 am, "Rick B." <deepst...@sprynet.com.aq> wrote:
> Mike Muth <mike.m...@unverbesserlich.org> wrote innews:Xns9D402CE45...@74.209.136.88:

>
>
>
>
>
> > John Hatpin <RemoveThisjfhop...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:
>
> >> Peter Ward wrote:
>
> >>> John Hatpin says...
>
> >>> > Greg Goss wrote:
>
> >>> > > Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:
> >>> > > >Oh, you have cheese over there, too?
>
> >>> > > Yes, but can they unwrap each slice individually?
>
> >>> > We can if we use Kraft cheese slices, available from all shitty
> >>> > supermarkets.
>
> >>> Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese.
>
> >> My kids think it's food.
>
> > Isn't that the product which is labeled "cheese food"?
>
> I think it's "cheese food product." If it isn't, something like it is.- Hide quoted text -


"pasteurized prepared cheese product"

Bill Kinkaid

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:15:34 AM3/19/10
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You should get some pudding too.

--
Bill in Vancouver

Bermuda999

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:16:24 AM3/19/10
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On Mar 19, 9:00 am, David J. Martin <djmartin_nos...@tamu.edu> wrote:
> "Rick B." <deepst...@sprynet.com.aq> wrote:
> > Mike Muth <mike.m...@unverbesserlich.org> wrote in
> >news:Xns9D402CE45...@74.209.136.88:

>
> > > John Hatpin <RemoveThisjfhop...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:
>
> > >> Peter Ward wrote:
>
> > >>> John Hatpin says...
>
> > >>> > Greg Goss wrote:
>
> > >>> > > Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:
>
> > >>> > > >Oh, you have cheese over there, too?
>
> > >>> > > Yes, but can they unwrap each slice individually?
>
> > >>> > We can if we use Kraft cheese slices, available from all shitty
> > >>> > supermarkets.
>
> > >>> Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cheese.
>
> > >> My kids think it's food.
>
> > > Isn't that the product which is labeled "cheese food"?
>
> > I think it's "cheese food product." If it isn't, something like it is.
>
> That sounds like either velveeta or cheez whiz. Both are almost entirely
> unlike cheese.

Velveeta: "Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread,"

Cheez Whiz: "Processed Cheese Sauce" or "Processed Cheese Dip"

Bermuda999

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Mar 19, 2010, 10:21:22 AM3/19/10
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or "Product'

Bill Turlock

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Mar 19, 2010, 12:24:49 PM3/19/10
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innacan!

Bill Turlock

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Mar 19, 2010, 12:25:38 PM3/19/10
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Peter Ward wrote:
>
> John Hatpin says...
> >
> > Bill Turlock wrote:
> >
> > > bill van wrote:
> > > >
> > > > In article <4BA2CBAE...@sonnnic.invalid>,
> > > > Bill Turlock <"Bill Turlock "@sonnnic.invalid> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > John Hatpin wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
> > > > > > here ...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
> > > > > > writs!"
> > > > > > "Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.
> > > > >
> > > > > Oh, you have cheese over there, too?
> > > >
> > > > They do, but I didn't realize they had Ritz.
> > >
> > > O I C, Greg.
> >
> > I wasn't sure if that was your point - yes, we do have Ritz crackers,
> > and I like them. In fact, I've run out and should buy more.
>
> Best to do that before you run back in again.

I'm jumping up and down in anticipation.

Greg Goss

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Mar 19, 2010, 1:17:48 PM3/19/10
to

The slizes I was referring to are coagulated cheez whiz. Velveeta is
even one of the available brands of it.

Dana Carpender

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Mar 19, 2010, 1:29:44 PM3/19/10
to

Pasteurized processed cheese food product.

Um... yum.

Dana

Charlie Pearce

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Mar 22, 2010, 5:17:54 PM3/22/10
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On Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:20:03 +0000, John Hatpin
<RemoveThi...@gmailAndThisToo.com> wrote:

>Since I'm not allowed to tell puns to L, I just thought I'd share it
>here ...
>
>On a radio comedy today, the following dialogue occurred:
>
>"His lawyer's on his way here! He's going to serve us both with
>writs!"
>"Oh, good! I'll get the cheese."
>
>Sorry, it's had me chuckling all evening.

A friend and I were out walking the other day, when we saw three large
tents in a field. Being quite thirsty, we walked into the first tent
hoping to find a drink, but to our surprise it was full of tables
laden with bowls of custard, and nothing else. Undaunted, we wandered
into the next tent, but found that there was nothing to be found but
bowl after bowl of red jelly. The third tent was no better, as all it
had to offer was jugs and jugs of cream.

Disappointed and parched, we carried on walking. "How strange", I
muttered, "why on earth would anybody set up tents selling nothing but
custard, jelly and cream?". My friend pondered for a while, then
nodded sagely. "Yes", he intoned, "it was a trifle bazaar".

Charlie
--
Email killed by spammers - please ask for the real one.

Paul Madarasz

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Apr 2, 2010, 5:07:56 PM4/2/10
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I'm impressed with the ones labelled "slices". No hint of cheese
there.

Neal Eckhardt

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Apr 5, 2010, 1:46:27 PM4/5/10
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It's 99% of the lawyers that give the rest of them a bad name.

--
Neal

Never go to a plastic surgeon whose favorite artist is Picasso.

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