Alternate Christmas Songs
mdginzo
them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
John Hatpin
"I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"?
--
John Hatpin
Email (ROT-13): wsubcxva NG tznvy.pbz
Dover Beach
news:1135281382....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
Weird Al also has "The Night Santa Went Crazy". I don't know if the
Chipmunks are either funny or alternate, but they are well-known.
--
Dover
mike muth
I have a few songs, all products of a suitably warped youth...
"Wreck the Halls with Boughs of Holly" (3 Stooges)
"Christmas Carol" (Tom Lehrer)
"Down Through the Housetop" (3 Stooges)
"I Got a Cold for Christmas" (3 Stooges)
"The Twelve Gifts of Christmas" (Allen Sherman)
"Very Amish Christmas" (Electric Amish Band)
Not music, but Christmas themed -
Stan Freberg's "Green Christmas" and "Christmas Dragnet"
Mike
Hactar
There's that parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", "The Twelve Things
of Christmas", that has lines "The twelve things of Christmas that are
such a pain to me" ... "sending Christmas cards" ... "hanging up the
lights" etc. It's been years since I heard it, but it was funny. The
characters who voice the individual complaints get more agitated as the
song progresses.
--
-eben ebQ...@EtaRmpTabYayU.rIr.OcoPm home.tampabay.rr.com/hactar
SAGITTARIUS: All your friends are laughing behind your back... kill
them. Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got
hanging in your den. -- Weird Al, _Your Horoscope for Today_
Bob Geary
"Christmas in Capetown", Randy Newman, from _Trouble In Paradise_
Veronique
might look at the playlist for KPIG-FM at kpig.com (some of them get
pretty raw, but Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas From The Family" is
pretty funny.)
V.
--
Veronique Chez Sheep
Blinky the Shark
A friend recently played me an mpeg of someone doing a tune about Santa
humping the lady of the house. It was a parody, titled "Santa Claus
Is Going To Town".
--
Blinky
Killfiling all posts from Google Groups
http://blinkynet.net/comp/uip5.html
Bob Geary
Kevin
You could pick two or three of these, they're all pretty funny:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000034DII/104-0065969-4885504?v=glance&n=5174
--
Kevin
Dover Beach
news:dof42u$q8j$1...@pc.tampabay.rr.com:
> In article <1135281382....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> mdginzo <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I
>> want them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have
>> "father Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as
>> Be-Claus I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is
>> out there?
>
> There's that parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", "The Twelve
> Things of Christmas", that has lines "The twelve things of Christmas
> that are such a pain to me" ... "sending Christmas cards" ... "hanging
> up the lights" etc. It's been years since I heard it, but it was
> funny. The characters who voice the individual complaints get more
> agitated as the song progresses.
>
Oh, and Bob and Doug MacKenzie (the SCTV characters) have a version of
the 12 Days of Christmas. Lyrics are here:
http://www.execulink.com/~bobnet/hoser/12days.html
But it's much funnier to hear it than read it.
--
Dover
Dana Carpender
I am all right
I am okay
Leave me alone,
Just go away!
I am all right
I am okay,
Leave me alone
Just go away!
Dana
Kevin
wrote:
Thank you so much. That's lovely. I'm going to try to figure out a
way to make an mp3 out of it.
--
Kevin
TedTheCat
You might check out A John Waters Christmas.
". . . the songs on A John Waters Xmas are novelty songs for the
true connoisseur, including recordings so saccharine and horrifying you
wonder how the engineers did not run from the booth screaming; "Happy
Birthday Jesus" by the precocious Little Cindy is likely the scariest
thing you will ever hear in your life."
darkon
I'll second Cindybear's recommendation of Bob Rivers. He's vulgar
and sometimes disgusting, but pretty funny, too.
Some friends and I rearranged the words to "The Christmas Song" while
we were in college. We sang it so much on the way home from bars
that it's taken the place of the real one; I have difficulty singing
the real words instead of ours. It's not very original, but we
*were* drinking and/or drunk when we were singing it.
Jack Frost roasting on an open fire
Chestnuts nipping at your nose
Yuletide carrots being burnt in a fire
And folks dressed up like mistletoe
Everybody knows, a turkey and an Eskimo
Help to make the season bright
Tator tots with their eyes all a-glow
Will find it hard to fry tonight
They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of guns and rubbers on his sleigh
And every mother's brat is gonna spy
To see reindeer shit flying through the sky**
So I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said, many times, many ways....
You're an asshole, fuck you.
** or, "to see if reindeer really scream when they die"
Greg Goss
Parody music goes into overdrive for Christmas. My local country
station is selling "Mixed Nuts and Mistletoe" with such greats as "My
Gift-for-Dad's busted" or "Wrap it! Wrap it good!".
Often the group will make their own rewrite of a top song for
Christmas. Toby Keith's "Big Blue Note" becomes "Big Blue List". The
Tractors' "Baby Likes to Rocket" becomes "Santa Rides the Rocket"
(where the the phrase "stacked to the ceiling - got 'em sticking in
your face" takes on an entirely different meaning.)
And parody/comedy songs can be chained. You mentioned that "Grandma
got run over" but I have "Grandpa got run over by a beer truck"
("coming home from Woody's Christmas day ... Who'd have known that
Grandma drove that way?"
Half of Bob Rivers' stuff (probably way more than half) is Christmas
parody stuff. ("Who put the stump in my rump di rump di rump" -
angel)
--
Tomorrow is today already.
Greg Goss, 1989-01-27
Greg Goss
>In article <1135281382....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
>mdginzo <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
>> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
>> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
>> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
>
>There's that parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", "The Twelve Things
>of Christmas", that has lines "The twelve things of Christmas that are
>such a pain to me" ... "sending Christmas cards" ... "hanging up the
>lights" etc. It's been years since I heard it, but it was funny. The
>characters who voice the individual complaints get more agitated as the
>song progresses.
There are two redneck variants of Twelve Days. Canadians get the blue
collar "Bob and Doug" version ("and a beeeer, iiin a treeee"), while
Americans get Foxworthy's version.
Charles Wm. Dimmick
"Good King Sauerkraut look out / On your feets uneven"
"Deck Us All With Boston Charlie"
Charles
Hactar
Not them; too many Canadianisms in that song. Probably not Jeff Foxworthy
either, as I think I heard it before his time. Isn't his stuff usually
recorded in a club, too? I think this was done in a studio. Definitely
not Yankovic, as I have all of his stuff.
--
-eben ebQ...@EtaRmpTabYayU.rIr.OcoPm home.tampabay.rr.com/hactar
This message was created using recycled electrons.
Ulo Melton
>A friend recently played me an mpeg of someone doing a tune about Santa
>humping the lady of the house. It was a parody, titled "Santa Claus
>Is Going To Town".
Similarly:
You better not shout,
You better not squirm.
That perverted old bum
Is holding you firm.
Santa Claus is going to town.
From _National Lampoon_, I think. Accompanied by a picture of a child
sitting on a department store Santa's lap.
And then there's Tramp O Claus:
<http://www2.b3ta.com/merrychristmas/>
--
Ulo Melton
http://www.sewergator.com - Your Pipeline To Adventure
"Show me a man who is not afraid of being eaten by an alligator
in a sewer, and I'll show you a fool." -Roger Ebert
Lesmond
It's a long time favorite around here. Even if I can't figure out why it's
so funny.
--
Even now in Heaven there are angels carrying savage weapons.
Dover Beach
news:dof9ia$a2c$1...@pc.tampabay.rr.com:
I didn't realize you were asking about who did the version you remember.
I think it's Bob Rivers. Is it this one?
http://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/12_pains_of_chr
istmas.htm
--
Dover
Tim Wright
Few are funnier than Seymour Swine's Blue Christmas.
--
Tim W
This space available.
Alistair Gale
wrote:
For an Irish flavour, how about Frank Kelly's Christmas Countdown, a
version of the 12 days of Christmas, here are the lyrics:
<http://www.msgr.ca/msgr-2/christmas_countdown.htm>
--
alistair
Veronique
> For an Irish flavour, how about Frank Kelly's Christmas Countdown, a
> version of the 12 days of Christmas, here are the lyrics:
> <http://www.msgr.ca/msgr-2/christmas_countdown.htm>
The Chieftans "Bells of Dublin" is a fabulous Christmas CD. Ranges from
interesting arrangements of traditional to rather, er, untraditional
songs with Elvis Costello, Jackson Browne, Marianne Faithful, and so
on.
bill van
"Veronique" <veroniq...@yahoo.com> wrote:
The Pogues' Fairytale of New York is a nicely untraditional Christmas
song.
bill
Veronique
Ooooh, thanks for the reminder!
V., off to put it in the line-up
--
Veronique Chez Sheep
D.F. Manno
ebe...@tampabay.ARE-ARE.com.unmunge (Hactar) wrote:
> There's that parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", "The Twelve Things
> of Christmas", that has lines "The twelve things of Christmas that are
> such a pain to me" ... "sending Christmas cards" ... "hanging up the
> lights" etc. It's been years since I heard it, but it was funny. The
> characters who voice the individual complaints get more agitated as the
> song progresses.
It's on the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp.'s CD, "Twisted Christmas."
--
D.F. Manno | dfm2a...@spymac.com
Lying, spying, and troops dying. Impeach Bush.
D.F. Manno
> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"
darkon
> mdginzo <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music.
>> I want them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny.
>> I have "father Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground
>> zero" as well as Be-Claus I got stoned" and grandma got run
>> over...". What else is out there?
>
> I'll second Cindybear's recommendation of Bob Rivers. He's
> vulgar and sometimes disgusting, but pretty funny, too.
Hmm, it seems I was confusing Bob Rivers with John Valby, aka "Dr.
Dirty". I have no idea why.
Greg Goss
>In article <1135281382....@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>,
> "mdginzo" <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
>> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
>> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
>> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
>
>"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Sorry. A local cell telco ad has driven that song into overplayed
fad popularity. If ever a song couldn't take overplay, that's the
one. The local zoo gift shop says that they ran out of stuffed hippos
by mid-November.
bill van
Greg Goss <go...@gossg.org> wrote:
It gets worse. This story might not have hit Calgary, but it got some
play in Vancouver. The hippo they filmed for the commercial is from the
Greater Vancouver zoo, a hellhole in Surrey that lost its zoo
accreditation a few years ago, in large part because of the atrocious
conditions in which they kept their hippos. Some years ago, two of them
broke through the ice in their outdoor pool and drowned. Promises to
provide a decent hippo habitat have not been kept. The hippo in the
commercial is a young one and the last one at the zoo.
Telus, unembarrassed by the stories and complaints from the Humane
Society, not only kept running the commercials but seems to have
increased their frequency.
bill
Tony Myers (As seen near TV)
>Chipmunks are either funny or alternate, but they are well-known
My all time favorite song is "The Chipmunk Song". I like the idea
of it more than the actual song. David
Seville, the guy who did it, sat down at the piano to write a song and
the first line he got was "Okay you Chipmunks! Are you ready to sing
this song?!!" That's as surreal as it gets. And this was before LSD was
popular. 99% of the time when someone says "Okay you Chipmunks.."
they'd lock him away. He beat the odds and I admire that.
Greg Goss
>Telus, unembarrassed by the stories and complaints from the Humane
>Society, not only kept running the commercials but seems to have
>increased their frequency.
It's hard to embarass Telus. It sure is a different company than the
old BC Tel.
Bill Turlock
>
> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5062519&ft=1&f=1051
Hear a unique version of the song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
It's in Latin, performed by the choir at Saint Bartholomew's Church in
New York City.
D.F. Manno
"mdginzo" <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
Jack Johnson's version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," which after "You'll
go down in history" adds these lines:
Well Rudolph he didn't go for that
he said "I see through your silly games"
How could you look me in the face
when only yesterday you called me names?
Well all of the other reindeers man,
well they sure did feel ashamed,
"Rudolph you know we're sorry,
we're truly gonna try to change"
rob...@bestweb.net
> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
This week Irwin Chusid on his regular WFMU program played a recent one,
"Christmas in Hell". Maybe it'll be archived now or soon.
http://wfmu.org .
One I once heard on "Greasy Kid Stuff" on WFMU, but which they've said
in response to me that they don't intend to re-air, was one from about
the 1940s, to the tune of "O Tanenbaum". It was about German car mfrs.
"O Mercedes, O Messerschmidt, O Porsche..." it started. It was sung
in a fake German accent. A spoken "explanatory" passage from it I
remember was, "Autobahn -- that's like your Pennsylvania
Turnpike...only mitout all those Howard Johnson restaurants." At one
point a high pitched voice came in and the "narrator" or "conductor"
said, "Run along, little boy." The high pitched voice responded, "I'm
not a little boy, I'm Volkswagen."
Robert
SoCalMike
> mdginzo wrote:
>
>> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
>> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
>> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
>> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
pansy division- "homo christmas"
the waitresses- "christmas wrapping"
Hank Gillette
"mdginzo" <mdg...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
Allan Sherman did a verson of the "12 Days of Christmas". On the first
day of Christmas, he got a Japanese transistor radio.
There's the barking dogs doing "Jingle Bells", and there's a whole album
of cats meowing Christmas carols.
--
Hank Gillette
Like people who see intricate designs in random clouds, there are still those
who claim to see coherent thoughts emanating from the mind of George W. Bush.
sli...@slidge.com
> we were in college.
I first learned it as:
Christians roasting on an open fire
Lions nipping at their toes...
sli...@slidge.com
> them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
> Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
> I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
PDQ Bach has "Throw the Yule Log On Uncle John" and "O Little Town of
Hackensack"
Dana Carpender
sli...@slidge.com wrote:
"We will dance 'round the old Runic Stone
'Til the light from the bonfire burns down.
We'll emote, slit a goat's throat, and sing,
Then get dressed and drive back into town."
Dana
>
art...@yahoo.com
shop. The sandwich maker did not know the musician though. (Anybody?)
There is also a Pretenders song (500 miles? 2000 miles? something like
that) which is a Christmas song I enjoy. Does it count as alternate?
I also recently heard "do they know it's Halloween?" a parody of "Do
they know it's Christmas" by some whom felt that the original was
rather presumptuous.
art...@yahoo.com
John Hatpin
> Christians roasting on an open fire
Some guys go out for lunch, and end up at a hotel where there's a
chess convention going on. There's no room inside the building, but
they get a table outdoors in the entrance.
At the next table, a couple of people attending the convention are
discussing their best games, trying to outdo each other with tales of
their finely-honed strategy and tactics.
One of our guys complains to the other that he can't stand the sound
of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
--
John Hatpin
Email (ROT-13): wsubcxva NG tznvy.pbz
Hactar
*TWEET* You! Over there! Go!
--
-eben ebQ...@EtaRmpTabYayU.rIr.OcoPm home.tampabay.rr.com/hactar
Drive nail here > < for new monitor.
groo
> mdginzo wrote:
>
>>I am looking to make a list of funny and alternate Xmas music. I want
>>them to be fairly well-known or at least really funny. I have "father
>>Christmas" by The Kinks, and "Xmas at ground zero" as well as Be-Claus
>>I got stoned" and grandma got run over...". What else is out there?
>
> "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus"?
I've always been fond of Jethro Tull's "A Christmas Song":
Once in Royal David's City stood a lonely cattle shed,
where a mother held her baby.
You'd do well to remember the things He later said.
When you're stuffing yourselves at the Christmas parties,
you'll just laugh when I tell you to take a running jump.
You're missing the point I'm sure does not need making
that Christmas spirit is not what you drink.
So how can you laugh when your own mother's hungry,
and how can you smile when the reasons for smiling are wrong?
And if I just messed up your thoughtless pleasures,
remember, if you wish, this is just a Christmas song.
(Hey! Santa! Pass us that bottle, will you?)