What Are The Odds Ken?
Michael Spooner
So today, Monday, the third and final day of the Labor Day weekend had
been planned as a day of relaxation save one small project. I was going to
patch the wall in the master bathroom where I had cut away the wall board
some months before to repair the plumbing. All went perfectly, or so I
thought, and I was standing back admiring my work and saying to my self:
"Self, you really are a bright boy you know", when my wife asked somewhat
stridently:
"MICHAEL, WHAT'S THAT TRICKLE OF WATER AT THE BASE OF THE WALL?"
Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
12'?
This is a single cold water line running horizontally inside the wall, 8"
above floor level. Mind you, the nail being very small needed to hit the
pipe absolutely dead center to pierce same, otherwise said nail given its
light gage would have been deflected one way or the other.
I have saved a small section of the copper pipe with the nail hole and I
intend sealing it in casting resin as a monument to my failure.
Michael thinking he should cast himself in resin instead
Smudge
Michael Spooner shook the scrabble bag and this fell out.....
<snip leaky pipe>
>I have saved a small section of the copper pipe with the nail hole and I
>intend sealing it in casting resin as a monument to my failure.
>
>Michael thinking he should cast himself in resin instead
That's talent, real DIY talent.
--
Smudge
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Michael Spooner (spo...@cts.com) wrote:
: Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
: absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
: 12'?
I think if you look in the glossary of any respected statistics text book
for 'Fucking Slim' you'll find an exact description of what you did.
--
Chris Russell | void kernel_die(char *str, struct pt_regs *regs) {
Electronic Imaging Unit | /* Amuse the user. */
University of Bradford | printk(
Tel: +44 1274 385463 | " \\|/ ____ \\|/\n"
| " \"@'/ ,. \\`@\"\n"
Bradford Bulls | " /_| \\__/ |_\\\n"
European Super League | " \\__U_/\n");
Champions 1997 | exit(EXIT_FAILURE);
| }
John Hall
In article <340b858a...@snews.zippo.com>,
Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> writes:
>Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
>absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
>12'?
Sod's Law says it's a certainty.
--
John Hall
"I am not young enough to know everything."
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Laura
In article <340ef1be...@snews.zippo.com>, Michael Spooner
<spo...@cts.com> writes
>On Tue, 2 Sep 1997 21:54:14 +0100, John Hall <ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk>
>wrote:
>
>>In article <340b858a...@snews.zippo.com>,
>> Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> writes:
>>>Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
>>>absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
>>>12'?
>>
>>Sod's Law says it's a certainty.
>
>
>Michael
>
Did anyone ever see the programme made to test Murphy's law? They had a
bunch of Newcastle Univ Students buttering slices of toast and throwing
them up in the air.
I was laughing so hard, I can't remember the outcome!
--
Laura - Today is not a decisions day
Vivianne
In article <340cb95...@snews.zippo.com>, Michael Spooner
<spo...@cts.com> wibbled ........
>On Tue, 2 Sep 1997 07:40:43 +0100, Smudge <smu...@bellona.demon.co.uk>
>wrote:
>
>"Thank you very much"
>
"Thankyouverymuch" shirley?
--
"I will stand in the tide of a crowded street and catch your echo"
Michael Spooner
On Wed, 3 Sep 1997 15:18:41 +0100, Laura <la...@euro-pa.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <340ef1be...@snews.zippo.com>, Michael Spooner
><spo...@cts.com> writes
>>On Tue, 2 Sep 1997 21:54:14 +0100, John Hall <ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk>
>>wrote:
>>>Sod's Law says it's a certainty.
>>
>>Related to Murphy no doubt
>>
>>Michael
>>
>Did anyone ever see the programme made to test Murphy's law? They had a
>bunch of Newcastle Univ Students buttering slices of toast and throwing
>them up in the air.
Well I'm afraid my antenna wasn't pointed in that direction, however I've
more than my share of acquaintance with Murph's mishaps.
How about the ML tenet that states that: "If you drop a part whilst
working on a car, it was lodge in an abyss behind something and will be
lost for all time"
While reinstalling the distributor on my Buck several years ago, I dropped
the little fork that secures the distributor to the engine into one of
those dark unknowable recesses where human hands are not able to go. When
I went to the dealer to secure a new fork, the man said he had never sold
one of those dinghies. (I'm told that dinghy is the new correct word that
replaces thingy). "That will be $1.57 for the part" the man laughed "and
$20 to expedite".
Michael thinking that a dinghy saved is a dinghy earned.
Michael Spooner
On Tue, 2 Sep 1997 21:54:14 +0100, John Hall <ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk>
wrote:
>In article <340b858a...@snews.zippo.com>,
> Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> writes:
>>Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
>>absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
>>12'?
>
Kenneth Butler
John Hall (ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <340b858a...@snews.zippo.com>,
: Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> writes:
: >Ken tell me, what are the odds of hitting a 1/2" OD copper water pipe
: >absolutely dead center with a small wimpish nail on a wall size of 7'6" X
: >12'?
: Sod's Law says it's a certainty.
Ol' Sod is like that.
Actually, from a broad enough perspective, it *is* pretty likely. I mean,
if you go around doing enough things for long enough, eventually something
pretty unlikely is going to happen.
It's when a *lot* of *really* unlikely things start to happen that you have
something to worry about.
Ken, who is currently on a good-luck streak with the number 1 bus here, but
doesn't expect it to last.
Michael Spooner
On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 10:34:24 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
wrote:
>Michael- give yourself a gold star.
And I shall wear it proudly on my forehead.
Michael
Roxanne Button
On Fri, 5 Sep 1997, Karen Sexton wrote:
> cgru...@bradford.ac.uk (Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats) wrote:
>
> In our experience, DIY is not what it's cracked up to be. All those
> shows- This Old House, Hometime, etc. I love watching them, they make
> everything look so simple..."...after you've cut your drywall..." they
> stand there, everything looks and goes perfect. When you do it
> yourself, you are in drywall hell. Whether it be drywall, tile,
> whatever, it's a mess- white powder everywhere, (ever try to tile a
> bath when you've only got one bath to take a bath in?)
Both of those shows are fun to watch, but I have a degree in architecture
and I'd never attempt to do some of those things! They have a nasty habit
of leaving out the most critical steps - these are usually the stupid
little things that seem insignificant to someone who's been doing it for
20 years, but are pretty important if you can't tell a drywall screw from
a finishing nail. That's how "Hometime" can show you how to re-tile your
bathroom in half an hour, when in real life it would take you weeks (or if
you're my landlord, 2 years).
I'm working as a writer for a renovation show, and I can't stand watching
some of the ones on TV. They make it look simple, sure, but don't try any
of it at home, kids! The show I'm working on takes a "down-home" approach
to home renovating. I hate that term, but that's what all of the fan mail
keeps saying! Basically, it means that we try to show what people can
build for themselves without a lot of professional help.
Rox.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Roxanne Button, M.Arch.
Writer / Researcher, "The Resourceful Renovator"
www.ocean.ca/renovator
r...@vcn.bc.ca
Gareth Evans
Karen Sexton wrote:
> In our experience, DIY is not what it's cracked up to be. All those
> shows- This Old House, Hometime, etc. I love watching them, they make
> everything look so simple..."...after you've cut your drywall..." they
> stand there, everything looks and goes perfect. When you do it
> yourself, you are in drywall hell. Whether it be drywall, tile,
> whatever, it's a mess- white powder everywhere, (ever try to tile a
> bath when you've only got one bath to take a bath in?)
Maybe you can help solve a quandry. I get Discovery Home and Leisure
(TLC by any other name) and on Hometime, there's this bloke, with or
without dodgy 'tasche.
Anyway, he always seems to have some horsey type blonde with him when
they're building houses. Or decorating them or whatever.
Does he have shitloads of cash, decide to buy a place, get Hometime to
pay for it, and then if the relationship with his babe goes pear-shaped,
he goes out and finds another, on the understanding that she comes on
telly with him
G - keeps me awake at night girl
-- =
"Illalla hilpeen=E4 kaljaa ...
... aamulla kalpeena hiljaa"
Michael Spooner
On 12 Sep 1997 01:16:03 +0100, ric...@beulah.demon.co.uk.nojunk (Richard
Robinson) wrote:
>
>In article <340b858a...@snews.zippo.com>,
>Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> wrote:
>>
>>"MICHAEL, WHAT'S THAT TRICKLE OF WATER AT THE BASE OF THE WALL?"
>
>Congratulations.
Curiously my wife told me yesterday that she was glad I holed the water
pipe. The wall was so buggered after removing the drywall twice that we
elected to install wainscoting over the repair area. Of course the problem
was that once we nailed the stuff up on the repaired wall, we liked it so
much we extended our handiwork all the way around the room.
Michael hoping to retire his DIY efforts soon.
Michael Spooner
On 12 Sep 1997 01:17:32 +0100, ric...@beulah.demon.co.uk.nojunk (Richard
Robinson) wrote:
>In article <3416e6e6...@snews.zippo.com>,
>Glue it, okay ? DON'T use the six-inch nails.
Why not, I've no water pipes in my head?
Michael, disaster man as of late.
Sarah Eggleston
Nope, you've got something more important :)
-Sarah
Jamie Harvey
Michael Spooner
>
>Michael Spooner wrote:
>>
>> On 12 Sep 1997 01:17:32 +0100, ric...@beulah.demon.co.uk.nojunk (Richard
>> Robinson) wrote:
>>
>> >In article <3416e6e6...@snews.zippo.com>,
>> >Michael Spooner <spo...@cts.com> wrote:
>> >>
>> >>On Fri, 05 Sep 1997 10:34:24 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
>> >>wrote:
>
>> >>>Michael- give yourself a gold star.
>> >>
>> >>And I shall wear it proudly on my forehead.
>> >
>> >Glue it, okay ? DON'T use the six-inch nails.
>>
>> Why not, I've no water pipes in my head?
>>
>Nope, you've got something more important :)
>
>-Sarah
When I was a small boy my older sister insisted that I didn't have a brain,
but that I had a "cano" instead. A "cano" was, according to my sister,
some sort of a cheap imitation of a brain.
Michael, a survivor of sibling rivalry.
Michael Spooner
On Mon, 15 Sep 97 22:47:14 GMT, Jamie Harvey <ja...@hornbeam.demon.co.uk>
wrote:
>Sarah Eggleston (eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com) wrote:
>: Michael Spooner wrote:
>: > Why not, I've no water pipes in my head?
>: >
>: Nope, you've got something more important :)
>
>Gas pipes?
Sure would fit my occupation.
Michael not really gaseous tonight.
Karen Sexton
spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner) wrote:
>Curiously my wife told me yesterday that she was glad I holed the water
>pipe. The wall was so buggered after removing the drywall twice that we
>elected to install wainscoting over the repair area. Of course the problem
>was that once we nailed the stuff up on the repaired wall, we liked it so
>much we extended our handiwork all the way around the room.
>Michael hoping to retire his DIY efforts soon.
What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
Karen, wants her next carpet to be ScotchGuarded, Stain-Mastered and
anything else that can be done to it
remove - to reply
Karen Sexton
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>Karen Sexton wrote:
Your post was dated 9/8- it just came in tonight. I hope you didn't
go 9 days without sleep...
When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
This Old House uses real homes with real people going through real
misery trying to renovate. (I think they get some compensation for it,
but it's tough to get your home on the show). HomeTime looks like
sets to me, but I could be wrong.
I haven't watched This Old House much, either, since Bob Vila left. I
think they fired him for a stupid reason. I mean, it's a free country,
isn't it?
Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
>-- =
>"Illalla hilpeen=E4 kaljaa ...
> ... aamulla kalpeena hiljaa"
remove - to reply
Karen Sexton
spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner) wrote:
>On Tue, 16 Sep 1997 22:38:42 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
>wrote:
>>What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
>>call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
>Wainscoting just means the lower part of an interior wall when finished in
>a material different from that of the upper part. The treatment was really
>popular at the turn of the century in"Victorian" houses. Most wainscoting
>is like ours in that it is very narrow tongue in groove vertical slats
>halfway up the wall with a horizontal moulding at the top of the slats as a
>demarcation from the rest of the wall.
>Wainscoting is Middle English from the Middle Dutch - Waghenscot. The root
>may have been wagen for wagon - having to do with the type of wood used in
>carriages. Or at least that's the thrust of what Webster's has to say on
>the subject.
Oh dear. I love that stuff, and all this time I've been calling it
"Victorian style" or "different kind of wallpaper on the bottom below
the moulding".
>BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the 3M Corp.
>logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center. 3M also makes
>other products with Scotch in them, for instance Scotchlite (tm) reflective
>material.
Oh, right. Why didn't I connect that?
>>Karen, wants her next carpet to be ScotchGuarded, Stain-Mastered and
>I must tell you sometime of my son's short career cleaning carpets, where
>most of the work took place in convalescent homes. Not good dinner
>conversation.
LOL Gross. It's for that reason I've always wanted to buy my own
carpet shampooer instead of renting one that's been used on tons of
other people's carpets.
Karen
remove - to reply
Michael Spooner
>spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner) wrote:
>
>>Curiously my wife told me yesterday that she was glad I holed the water
>>pipe. The wall was so buggered after removing the drywall twice that we
>>elected to install wainscoting over the repair area. Of course the problem
>>was that once we nailed the stuff up on the repaired wall, we liked it so
>>much we extended our handiwork all the way around the room.
>
>>Michael hoping to retire his DIY efforts soon.
>
>What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
>call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
Wainscoting just means the lower part of an interior wall when finished in
a material different from that of the upper part. The treatment was really
popular at the turn of the century in"Victorian" houses. Most wainscoting
is like ours in that it is very narrow tongue in groove vertical slats
halfway up the wall with a horizontal moulding at the top of the slats as a
demarcation from the rest of the wall.
Wainscoting is Middle English from the Middle Dutch - Waghenscot. The root
may have been wagen for wagon - having to do with the type of wood used in
carriages. Or at least that's the thrust of what Webster's has to say on
the subject.
BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the 3M Corp.
logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center. 3M also makes
other products with Scotch in them, for instance Scotchlite (tm) reflective
material.
>Karen, wants her next carpet to be ScotchGuarded, Stain-Mastered and
Tracy T.
In alt.fan.british-accent Karen Sexton <kse...@earth-link.net> wrote:
: I haven't watched This Old House much, either, since Bob Vila left. I
: think they fired him for a stupid reason. I mean, it's a free country,
: isn't it?
The quality of "This Old House" is way down, they apparently think that
since they have done everything already, they now need to show the culture
of the locales where they fix the houses, and more decorating than actual
hammer and nails.
I personally want to see all the rotten wood being ripped out and
replaced, I find it very satisfying. Oh, and The Renovation Guide, where
Bob Vila now lives (and Norm visits occasionally), isn't much better. I
did used to get caught up in the full-day repairs though, when I was
marking exams.
: Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
Norm is ever-so-much-cooler! He was on a cartoon once, was Al?
Tracy, can't stand Home Improvement or Family Matters either girl
Sarah Eggleston
Michael Spooner wrote:
>
> On Tue, 16 Sep 1997 22:38:42 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
> wrote:
>
> >spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner) wrote:
> >
> >What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
> >call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
>
> BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the
> 3M Corp. logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center.
> 3M also makes other products with Scotch in them, for instance
> Scotchlite (tm) reflective material.
>
Aren't they the ones who made Scotch tape? My parent's generation
still call it scotch tape instead of sellotape sometimes, rather
like calling vacuum cleaners Hoovers...
> I must tell you sometime of my son's short career cleaning
> carpets, where most of the work took place in convalescent homes.
> Not good dinner conversation.
In that case, please don't :)
-Sarah
Alan Price
In article <3420F196...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com>, Sarah
Eggleston <eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com> writes
>Michael Spooner wrote:
>
>> BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the
>> 3M Corp. logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center.
>
>still call it scotch tape instead of sellotape sometimes, rather
>like calling vacuum cleaners Hoovers...
>
name- Mr. Sello would probably get upset.
--
Alan Price
http://www.postern.demon.co.uk
Lorrill Buyens
spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner), while summoning a demon, chanted:
>On Tue, 16 Sep 1997 22:38:42 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
>wrote:
>>What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
>>call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
>BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the 3M Corp.
>logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center. 3M also makes
>other products with Scotch in them, for instance Scotchlite (tm) reflective
>material.
I believe it dates back to the early days of their manufacture of
adhesive tape, when they put adhesive on the edges but not the
middle. It didn't stick too well, unsurprisingly, so an irate customer
said that they should "tell their Scotch bosses" to use more adhesive -
and Scotch Tape was born...
--
----------------------------------------------------------------
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Alan Price
In article <5vqg63$6...@bolivia.earthlink.net>, Karen Sexton
<kse...@earth-link.net> writes
>
>Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
>
EL. 14 out of 19's not bad.
Gareth Evans
Tracy T. wrote:
> =
> The quality of "This Old House" is way down, they apparently think that=
> since they have done everything already, they now need to show the cult=
ure
> of the locales where they fix the houses, and more decorating than actu=
al
> hammer and nails.
> =
Everyone I see (apart from the occasional sojourns to Hawaii (need a
holiday, Norm?) seems to be in Lexington, Mass. Now, from what I've been
told, these people can afford to do up their houses, without TLC getting
in the way.
G - who thinks the Furniture Guys have nothing on Greg And Max's Sweet
things for campness girl
Gareth Evans
Karen Sexton wrote:
> =
> >Maybe you can help solve a quandry. I get Discovery Home and Leisure
> >(TLC by any other name) and on Hometime, there's this bloke, with or
> >without dodgy 'tasche.
> =
> >Anyway, he always seems to have some horsey type blonde with him when
> >they're building houses. Or decorating them or whatever.
> =
> >Does he have shitloads of cash, decide to buy a place, get Hometime to=
> >pay for it, and then if the relationship with his babe goes pear-shape=
d,
> >he goes out and finds another, on the understanding that she comes on
> >telly with him
> =
> >G - keeps me awake at night girl
> =
> Your post was dated 9/8- it just came in tonight. I hope you didn't
> go 9 days without sleep...
Hmm. Blame Dom. Everyone else does!
> =
> When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
> it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
> pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
> left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
> to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
> been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
Ahh. When I first saw it, it wasn't JoAnn (funny capitalisations, but,
she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or something?
So, was he todging them or no? They weren't "lifetime partners"
(ARGH!!!)
> =
> This Old House uses real homes with real people going through real
> misery trying to renovate. (I think they get some compensation for it,
> but it's tough to get your home on the show). HomeTime looks like
> sets to me, but I could be wrong.
He's fucking useless. I'm sorry, but he can't use a hammer for shit.
=
> =
> I haven't watched This Old House much, either, since Bob Vila left. I
> think they fired him for a stupid reason. I mean, it's a free country,
> isn't it?
Bob's got his "Home again" thing. It's ok, apart from Bob's a knowall,
and he always comes out with the irritating line "Hi, I'm Bob Vila, it's
good to have you HOME AGAIN". ARGH! Now it's Norm and Steve. Lovely
lads. Norm takes the biscuit for boredom, especially in the New Yankee
Workshop. "Here's how to make a table you could buy for $200, but you
need $20 000 worth of kit." I mean, who needs a laser-guided mitre box,
for fucks' sakes.....?
> =
> Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
Who's Al?
Oh, and Graham "Wan" Kerr needs to die.
G - TLC girl in both senses.
Karen
Sarah Eggleston <eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com> wrote:
>Michael Spooner wrote:
>> BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the
>> 3M Corp. logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center.
>> 3M also makes other products with Scotch in them, for instance
>> Scotchlite (tm) reflective material.
>>
>Aren't they the ones who made Scotch tape?
Righto.
>My parent's generation
>still call it scotch tape instead of sellotape sometimes, rather
>like calling vacuum cleaners Hoovers...
We all call it Scotch Tape here. It's still the best brand. But we
don't call vacuum cleaners Hoovers. Facial tissue is Kleenex, though.
Karen
kse...@earthlink.net
certified bonafide email address
Karen
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>Hmm. Blame Dom. Everyone else does!
OK
>> When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
>> it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
>> pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
>> left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
>> to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
>> been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
>Ahh. When I first saw it, it wasn't JoAnn (funny capitalisations, but,
>she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
>SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or something?
>So, was he todging them or no? They weren't "lifetime partners"
>(ARGH!!!)
If you're asking me if they were intimately involved, I have no idea.
They did the "husband and wife sparring" bit pretty convincingly,
though.
>Bob's got his "Home again" thing. It's ok, apart from Bob's a knowall,
>and he always comes out with the irritating line "Hi, I'm Bob Vila, it's
>good to have you HOME AGAIN". ARGH! Now it's Norm and Steve. Lovely
>lads. Norm takes the biscuit for boredom, especially in the New Yankee
>Workshop. "Here's how to make a table you could buy for $200, but you
>need $20 000 worth of kit." I mean, who needs a laser-guided mitre box,
>for fucks' sakes.....?
Exactly, but it's a guy thing (excepting you, of course.) That's why
I think Home Improvement is accurate:
Jill: The knob on the cupboard needs fixing.
Tim: OK. Now I'll go to Sears and buy $200 worth of tools I don't
need so I can feel manly while I do it.
My husband does the same thing.
>> Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
>Who's Al?
Tim the Toolman's sidekick.
>Oh, and Graham "Wan" Kerr needs to die.
The chef? He *is* a little hyper, isn't he?
Michael Spooner
On Wed, 17 Sep 1997 18:23:21 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
wrote:
>
>>I must tell you sometime of my son's short career cleaning carpets, where
>>most of the work took place in convalescent homes. Not good dinner
>>conversation.
>
>carpet shampooer instead of renting one that's been used on tons of
>other people's carpets.
My wife bought one of those Bissell Power Steamer (tm) machines a couple of
years ago and It stayed in the box until I used it to clean the carpeting
on my Camaro. Unfortunately, the previous owner of the car had this
really big white dog that spent lots in time in the Camaro.
Michael doubting the Bissell machine ever directs steam to the carpet in
the house.
Michael Spooner
On 19 Sep 1997 03:53:01 -0700, buy...@primenet.com (Lorrill Buyens) wrote:
>spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner), while summoning a demon, chanted:
>
>>On Tue, 16 Sep 1997 22:38:42 GMT, kse...@earth-link.net (Karen Sexton)
>>wrote:
>
>>>What's wainscoting? Sounds Scottish. On second thought, why do they
>>>call "ScotchGuarding" ScotchGuarding?
>
>>BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the 3M Corp.
>>logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center. 3M also makes
>>other products with Scotch in them, for instance Scotchlite (tm) reflective
>>material.
>
>I believe it dates back to the early days of their manufacture of
>adhesive tape, when they put adhesive on the edges but not the
>middle. It didn't stick too well, unsurprisingly, so an irate customer
>said that they should "tell their Scotch bosses" to use more adhesive -
>and Scotch Tape was born...
Hmm..............
Michael feeling as if he's just suffered a serious pulling of the leg.
Michael Spooner
On Thu, 18 Sep 1997 10:17:10 +0100, Sarah Eggleston
<eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com> wrote:
>Michael Spooner wrote:
>> BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the
>> 3M Corp. logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center.
>> 3M also makes other products with Scotch in them, for instance
>> Scotchlite (tm) reflective material.
>>
>Aren't they the ones who made Scotch tape? My parent's generation
>still call it scotch tape instead of sellotape sometimes, rather
>like calling vacuum cleaners Hoovers...
Well as I believe Karen has already pointed out it's Scotch tape here too,
but vacuum cleaners are called vacuum cleaners, although Hoover sells 'em
here as well. OTOH many people still call refrigerators Frigidaires (tm).
There as probably other examples.
Michael remembering that the Scotch tape made now is vastly superior to the
old shiny cellophane tape of yesteryear.
Gareth Evans
Karen wrote:
>
> =
> We all call it Scotch Tape here. It's still the best brand. But we
> don't call vacuum cleaners Hoovers. Facial tissue is Kleenex, though.
> =
>
Argh. If it's facial tissue, is the other type anal tissue?
G - prefers "snot rags" and "bog roll" girl
Gareth Evans
Karen wrote:
> >So, was he todging them or no? They weren't "lifetime partners"
> >(ARGH!!!)
> =
> If you're asking me if they were intimately involved, I have no idea.
> They did the "husband and wife sparring" bit pretty convincingly,
> though.
We've got the JoAnn Liebler one again now. Building some kids
wendyhouse. It's fucking huge, with tiles on the roof (shingles is
something adults get when they're too old for chickenpox) and all sorts.
If they're not shagging, why build a kiddy thing? Is he into kiddyporn
or something....?
> =
> >Bob's got his "Home again" thing. It's ok, apart from Bob's a knowall,=
> >and he always comes out with the irritating line "Hi, I'm Bob Vila, it=
's
> >good to have you HOME AGAIN". ARGH! Now it's Norm and Steve. Lovely
> >lads. Norm takes the biscuit for boredom, especially in the New Yankee=
> >Workshop. "Here's how to make a table you could buy for $200, but you
> >need $20 000 worth of kit." I mean, who needs a laser-guided mitre box=
,
> >for fucks' sakes.....?
> =
> Exactly, but it's a guy thing (excepting you, of course.) That's why
> I think Home Improvement is accurate:
I have to admit I'm not the most macho of men.....
=2E..but you'd probably guessed that.
> =
> Jill: The knob on the cupboard needs fixing.
> =
> Tim: OK. Now I'll go to Sears and buy $200 worth of tools I don't
> need so I can feel manly while I do it.
> =
> My husband does the same thing.
Good on him.
G response: And??? You can still open the door can't you?
> =
> >> Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
> =
> >Who's Al?
> =
> Tim the Toolman's sidekick.
Ahh...
> =
> >Oh, and Graham "Wan" Kerr needs to die.
> =
> The chef? He *is* a little hyper, isn't he?
Indeed. Julia Childs has 666 tattooed on her skull
G - TLC girl
Lorrill Buyens
spo...@cts.com (Michael Spooner), while summoning a demon, chanted:
>Michael feeling as if he's just suffered a serious pulling of the leg.
You should be more careful when you're working out...
Tribble
In alt.life.universe.everything Karen <k...@nospam.net> wrote:
: We all call it Scotch Tape here. It's still the best brand. But we
: don't call vacuum cleaners Hoovers. Facial tissue is Kleenex, though.
No, it's a snot-rag.
--
Tribble Flibble
The Tribble Foundation - http://www.tribble.maquis.org/
This is Random .Sig number 5
Lorrill Buyens
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com>, while summoning a demon, chanted:
>Karen wrote:
>> We all call it Scotch Tape here. It's still the best brand. But we
>> don't call vacuum cleaners Hoovers. Facial tissue is Kleenex, though.
>Argh. If it's facial tissue, is the other type anal tissue?
Try "bathroom tissue."
Gareth Evans
Lorrill Buyens wrote:
> =
> >Argh. If it's facial tissue, is the other type anal tissue?
> =
> Try "bathroom tissue."
>
You clean your bathroom with it? What do you wipe your arse on then?
G - being difficult (and blunt) girl
Mike Sivier
buy...@primenet.com (Lorrill Buyens) wrote:
>Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com>, while summoning a demon, chanted:
>>Karen wrote:
>>> We all call it Scotch Tape here. It's still the best brand. But we
>>> don't call vacuum cleaners Hoovers. Facial tissue is Kleenex, though.
>>Argh. If it's facial tissue, is the other type anal tissue?
>Try "bathroom tissue."
Call a spade a spade, I say.
When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
--
Wurzzz, being crude for a mo.
Gareth Evans
Mike Sivier wrote:
> >>Argh. If it's facial tissue, is the other type anal tissue?
> =
> >Try "bathroom tissue."
> =
> Call a spade a spade, I say.
> =
> When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
My bathroom doesn't have a donkey.
G - being pedantic girl
Sarah Eggleston
Gareth Evans wrote:
>
> Lorrill Buyens wrote:
>
> > Try "bathroom tissue."
> >
>
> You clean your bathroom with it? What do you wipe your arse on then?
>
> G - being difficult (and blunt) girl
>
Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
Vivianne
In article <875105168.16269.8...@news.demon.co.uk>, Mike
Sivier <mi...@wurzzz.demon.co.uk> wibbled ........
>When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
There is only one 's' in arse. OK?
--
"I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a Goddess on my knees..."
Mike Sivier
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>Mike Sivier wrote:
>> When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
>My bathroom doesn't have a donkey.
Then you haven't wiped it lately?
I'm so sorry.
--
Wurzzz
Gareth Evans
Mike Sivier wrote:
> =
> >> When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
> =
> >My bathroom doesn't have a donkey.
> =
> Then you haven't wiped it lately?
> =
> I'm so sorry.
Do I need one for my bathroom. It's somewhat small as it is...
G - small bog girl
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Sarah Eggleston (eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com) wrote:
Arse wipes.
Chris, as above girl.
--
Chris PRR Russell
Electronic Imaging Dept.
University of Bradford
Tel: +44 1274 385463
Gareth Evans
Sarah Eggleston wrote:
>
> >
> > > Try "bathroom tissue."
> > >
> >
> > You clean your bathroom with it? What do you wipe your arse on then?
> >
> > G - being difficult (and blunt) girl
> >
> Bog roll.
> Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
Thought so.
G - works for me girl
Sarah Eggleston
Karen wrote:
>
> Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>
> Exactly, but it's a guy thing (excepting you, of course.) That's why
> I think Home Improvement is accurate:
>
> Jill: The knob on the cupboard needs fixing.
>
> Tim: OK. Now I'll go to Sears and buy $200 worth of tools I don't
> need so I can feel manly while I do it.
>
> My husband does the same thing.
>
Otoh, if you do the girly thing and decide to make do with the
back end of a tea-spoon in stead of buying a proper screwdriver,
you do find out quite rapidly that decent tools make a difference.
And have you ever tried changing a wheel with the manufacturer
-supplied brace!!?? Not a lot of fun! I think there's a happy
medium in there somewhere...
-Sarah
John Hall
In article <342BCB99...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com>,
Sarah Eggleston <eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com> writes:
>Otoh, if you do the girly thing and decide to make do with the
>back end of a tea-spoon in stead of buying a proper screwdriver,
I tend to use a 1p coin. I hope that's not a girly thing too :)
--
John Hall
"The beatings will continue until morale improves."
Attributed to the Commander of Japan's Submarine Forces in WW2
Mike Sivier
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>Mike Sivier wrote:
>> =
>> >> When did YOUR bathroom last need its *ss wiped?
>> =
>> >My bathroom doesn't have a donkey.
>> =
>> Then you haven't wiped it lately?
>> =
>> I'm so sorry.
>Do I need one for my bathroom. It's somewhat small as it is...
>G - small bog girl
I *hate* those!
--
Wurzzz, scuffed knees boy
Tracy T.
In alt.fan.british-accent Sarah Eggleston <eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com> wrote:
: >
: And have you ever tried changing a wheel with the manufacturer
: -supplied brace!!?? Not a lot of fun! I think there's a happy
: medium in there somewhere...
It is so a lot of fun!
Tracy, not in the mood to put up with lies
wie...@hotmail.com
Sorry to barge in... I think Joann Liebler is HOT. Does anyone else
agree? Does anyone know where to get a photo of her???
I'm pining for her!!!
In article <342263...@ntc.nokia.com>,
Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>
>
> Karen Sexton wrote:
>
> > =
>
> > >Maybe you can help solve a quandry. I get Discovery Home and
Leisure
> > >(TLC by any other name) and on Hometime, there's this bloke, with
or
> > >without dodgy 'tasche.
> > =
>
> > >Anyway, he always seems to have some horsey type blonde with him
when
> > >they're building houses. Or decorating them or whatever.
> > =
>
> > >Does he have shitloads of cash, decide to buy a place, get
Hometime to=
>
> > >pay for it, and then if the relationship with his babe goes
pear-shape=
> d,
> > >he goes out and finds another, on the understanding that she
comes on
> > >telly with him
> > =
>
> > >G - keeps me awake at night girl
> > =
>
> > Your post was dated 9/8- it just came in tonight. I hope you
didn't
> > go 9 days without sleep...
>
> Hmm. Blame Dom. Everyone else does!
>
> > =
>
> > When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman
on
> > it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much
more
> > pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
> > left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard
for me
> > to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has
always
> > been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
>
> Ahh. When I first saw it, it wasn't JoAnn (funny capitalisations,
but,
> she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
> SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or
something?
>
> So, was he todging them or no? They weren't "lifetime partners"
> (ARGH!!!)
>
> > =
>
> > This Old House uses real homes with real people going through real
> > misery trying to renovate. (I think they get some compensation for
it,
> > but it's tough to get your home on the show). HomeTime looks like
> > sets to me, but I could be wrong.
>
> He's fucking useless. I'm sorry, but he can't use a hammer for shit.
> =
>
> > =
>
> > I haven't watched This Old House much, either, since Bob Vila
left. I
> > think they fired him for a stupid reason. I mean, it's a free
country,
> > isn't it?
>
> Bob's got his "Home again" thing. It's ok, apart from Bob's a
knowall,
> and he always comes out with the irritating line "Hi, I'm Bob Vila,
it's
> good to have you HOME AGAIN". ARGH! Now it's Norm and Steve. Lovely
> lads. Norm takes the biscuit for boredom, especially in the New
Yankee
> Workshop. "Here's how to make a table you could buy for $200, but
you
> need $20 000 worth of kit." I mean, who needs a laser-guided mitre
box,
> for fucks' sakes.....?
>
> > =
>
> > Karen, thinking Al Boreman really is alot like Norm Abrams
>
> Who's Al?
>
> Oh, and Graham "Wan" Kerr needs to die.
>
> G - TLC girl in both senses.
>
> -- =
>
> "Illalla hilpeen=E4 kaljaa ...
> ... aamulla kalpeena hiljaa"
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Kenneth Butler
On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Sarah Eggleston wrote:
> Gareth Evans wrote:
> >
> > Lorrill Buyens wrote:
> >
> > > Try "bathroom tissue."
> > >
> >
> > You clean your bathroom with it? What do you wipe your arse on then?
> >
> > G - being difficult (and blunt) girl
> >
> Bog roll.
>
> Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
Ken, fan of the expression "hit the bog", especially when delivered in a
Birmingham accent.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Butler / but...@cs.dal.ca / http://is.dal.ca/~kbutler
Word of the day:
Halfpace: small landing on staircase.
John Hall
In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927002223.16300E-100000@mscs>,
Kenneth Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes:
>On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Sarah Eggleston wrote:
>>
>> Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
>
>That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
So why don't we have a "Blunt Oxford Dictionary", then?
--
John Hall
"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
Oscar Wilde
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
John Hall (ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927002223.16300E-100000@mscs>,
: Kenneth Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes:
: >On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Sarah Eggleston wrote:
: >>
: >> Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
: >
: >That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
: So why don't we have a "Blunt Oxford Dictionary", then?
There is a Webster's one.
Redial
In article <5vv7fh$p...@argentina.earthlink.net>, Karen
<k...@nospam.net> writes
>Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>
>>> When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
>>> it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
>>> pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
>>> left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
>>> to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
>>> been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
Hometime, IMHO, is a load of rubbish, they, mostly, have bad
taste, and they only build something if it is going to cost a
lifetimes' salary.
>
>
>>Bob's got his "Home again" thing. It's ok, apart from Bob's a knowall,
>>and he always comes out with the irritating line "Hi, I'm Bob Vila, it's
>>good to have you HOME AGAIN".
I'm sorry, Bob is king of DIY for me, he is the most professional
out of all the shows we get over here.
>ARGH! Now it's Norm and Steve. Lovely
>>lads. Norm takes the biscuit for boredom, especially in the New Yankee
>>Workshop. "Here's how to make a table you could buy for $200, but you
>>need $20 000 worth of kit." I mean, who needs a laser-guided mitre box,
>>for fucks' sakes.....?
Steve and Narm are eejits too! Boring, boring, boring.
>
>Exactly, but it's a guy thing (excepting you, of course.)
:P
--
Redial - Bob Vila fan
Kenneth Butler
On Sat, 27 Sep 1997, John Hall wrote:
> In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927002223.16300E-100000@mscs>,
> >That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
>
> So why don't we have a "Blunt Oxford Dictionary", then?
I don't know. I suppose it depends on what you plan to use it for. I mean,
my dictionary isn't *called* "blunt", but it is: it would be much more
effectively used for bludgeoning somebody to death than for stabbing them,
say.
Maybe people don't use dictionaries as murder weapons much these days.
Ken.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Butler / but...@cs.dal.ca / http://is.dal.ca/~kbutler
Word of the day:
Paramatta: cotton dress material.
Simon & Kathryn
Lorrill Buyens <buy...@primenet.com> put nose to keyboard and managed:
>>BTW, I believe the Scotchguard (tm) name ties in some how with the 3M Corp.
>>logo which has a square of tartan fabric at the center. 3M also makes
>>other products with Scotch in them, for instance Scotchlite (tm) reflective
>>material.
>
>adhesive tape, when they put adhesive on the edges but not the
>middle. It didn't stick too well, unsurprisingly, so an irate customer
>said that they should "tell their Scotch bosses" to use more adhesive -
>and Scotch Tape was born...
>
I read recently in a book (can't remember which) that the reason for it
being scotch was either: 1, because the inner card had tartan backing,
or, 2: because it was re-usable (the mean stereotype of the Scottish
people). How dull.
--
Simon and No virgin me
Kathryn For I have simmed
I sold my soul
For sex and gin MARY MARY
Mudcat
In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927231728.24029G-100000@mscs>, Kenneth Butler
<but...@mscs.dal.ca> wrote:
> > >That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
> >
> > So why don't we have a "Blunt Oxford Dictionary", then?
>
> I don't know. I suppose it depends on what you plan to use it for. I mean,
> my dictionary isn't *called* "blunt", but it is: it would be much more
> effectively used for bludgeoning somebody to death than for stabbing them,
> say.
>
> Maybe people don't use dictionaries as murder weapons much these days.
I suppose if one had a catapult you could fill it up with dictionaries and
fling them at whomever.
--
mike at netuser dot com
Um Um Um Um Um Um
www dot netuser dot com/~mike
Mudcat
In article <60ljhm$j...@beulah.demon.co.uk>,
ric...@beulah.demon.co.uk.nojunk (Richard Robinson) wrote:
> >> Maybe people don't use dictionaries as murder weapons much these days.
> >
> >I suppose if one had a catapult you could fill it up with dictionaries and
> >fling them at whomever.
>
> <cue Maurice>
Yes, I hope he get's his news reader sorted out.
Alan Price
In article <uz$$HXAdgP...@jhall.demon.co.uk>, John Hall
<ne...@jhall.demon.co.uk> writes
>In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927002223.16300E-100000@mscs>,
> Kenneth Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes:
>>On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Sarah Eggleston wrote:
>>>
>>> Sarah, concise (and blunt) girl
>>
>
>So why don't we have a "Blunt Oxford Dictionary", then?
I didn't know the OED was supposed to be virtuous? It doesn't seem a
particularly relevant property.
--
Alan Price
http://www.postern.demon.co.uk
ABMagee
>
>
> >> When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
> >> it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
> >> pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
> >> left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
> >> to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
> >> been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
>
> >she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
> >SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or something?
>
I hope you don't mind perfect strangers butting in on your
conversations, but I think
you ought to know that JoAnn Leibler now has her own DIY show. It's
called Home Savvy.
Today she was talking about home stereos, home theatres, surroundsound,
stuff like that.
She had an expert on to take "the mystery out of connecting your stereo
components."
This involved some very mysterious patch cords (am I being sarcastic
enough here?) which
you had to connect to the "out" part of the receiver then to the "in"
part of the
cassette deck.
This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
transit into some
kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
Anne
--
Captain Scarlet is indestructible. You are not.
Remember this. Do not attempt to imitate him.
- Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons
Mudcat
> I hope you don't mind perfect strangers butting in on your
> conversations, but I think
> you ought to know that JoAnn Leibler now has her own DIY show. It's
> called Home Savvy.
> Today she was talking about home stereos, home theatres, surroundsound,
> stuff like that.
> She had an expert on to take "the mystery out of connecting your stereo
> components."
> This involved some very mysterious patch cords (am I being sarcastic
> enough here?) which
> you had to connect to the "out" part of the receiver then to the "in"
> part of the
> cassette deck.
>
> This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
> transit into some
> kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
We don't mind strange people at all. Perfect ones tend to get nailed to
things tho.
Oh, hello btw, have a pint or two and have a seat.
Alan Price
In article <60hl88$bav$1...@vnetnews.value.net>, Tracy T
<?@nospam.value.net> writes
>In alt.fan.british-accent Sarah Eggleston <eggl...@mailserver.hursley.ibm.com>
>wrote:
>: >
>: And have you ever tried changing a wheel with the manufacturer
>: -supplied brace!!?? Not a lot of fun! I think there's a happy
>: medium in there somewhere...
>
>It is so a lot of fun!
>
skin goes green? I noticed, though, that his trousers stayed intact.
After my first attempt at removing the wheelnuts on my present car- to
replace a flat in a remote country area miles from useful aids, and
having to make do with the pathetic attempt at a wheelbrace in the
toolkit plus half a brick- I went to a toolshop and bought a 2ft. long
1/2" square drive tommy-bar. Now, with a small selection of sockets, I
can change wheels on the car, the caravan, and the trailer- all
different sizes.
BTW, I don't seem to have seen the antecedent to the above post. Where's
it gone?
Charlie Ball
In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927002223.16300E-100000@mscs> Kenneth Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes:
>On Wed, 24 Sep 1997, Sarah Eggleston wrote:
>
>> >
>> > Lorrill Buyens wrote:
>> >
>> > > Try "bathroom tissue."
>> > >
>> >
>> > You clean your bathroom with it? What do you wipe your arse on then?
>> >
>> > G - being difficult (and blunt) girl
>> >
>> Bog roll.
>>
>
>That's the stuff. Bluntness is a virtue.
Bollocks it is.
Charlie
Gareth Evans
Mike Sivier wrote:
>
> =
> >G - small bog girl
> =
> I *hate* those!
It's not that small. Better than my last one. Someone had put floor to
ceiling mirrored tiles in front of the bog. THe last thing you needed to
see on a Sunday morning after a curry.
G - unpleasant girl
Michael Spooner
On Sun, 28 Sep 1997 23:57:00 -0300, ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> wrote:
>This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
>transit into some
>kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
>
>Anne
No Anne, you made it right past the nude men and free psychics and landed
smack-dab in "What Are The Odds Ken?"
Welcome to afba.
Michael happy to have never encountered a nude man in this NG, but not so
sure about the free psychics.
Smudge
Alan Price shook the scrabble bag and this fell out.....
>>
>You could sharpen the edge of the OED CD-ROM and skim it at people with
>murderous intent?
Ah, you've met our Mr Sliwa then.
--
Smudge
Charlie Ball
In article <342F18FC...@brunnet.net> ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> writes:
>Karen wrote:
>>
>> Gareth Evans <Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com> wrote:
>>
>> >Hmm. Blame Dom. Everyone else does!
>>
>> OK
>>
>> >> When Hometime first started (I think about 10 years ago) the woman on
>> >> it was Jo Ann Leibler (sp)?. She and whateverhisnameis were much more
>> >> pleasurable to watch than he and whoever the girl is now. Liebler
>> >> left a couple years after to become a real actress. It's hard for me
>> >> to watch it with this new girl (what's her name). The guy has always
>> >> been the same, AFAIK, w or w/o mustache.
>>
>> >Ahh. When I first saw it, it wasn't JoAnn (funny capitalisations, but,
>> >she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
>> >SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or something?
>>
>
No, we like that, actually. Welcome to afba, Anne.
>
>This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
>transit into some
>kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
A remarkably large proportion of afba messages do transmogrify into a
Nude Naked Men sort of thing. You will swiftly come to recognise the usual
culprits.
>Anne
>--
>Captain Scarlet is indestructible. You are not.
>Remember this. Do not attempt to imitate him.
> - Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons
Nice .sig as well.
Charlie
--
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.
Alan Brand
cpb...@ic.ac.uk (Charlie Ball) wrote:
>In article <342F18FC...@brunnet.net> ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> writes:
>>This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
>>transit into some
>>kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
>A remarkably large proportion of afba messages do transmogrify into a
>Nude Naked Men sort of thing. You will swiftly come to recognise the usual
>culprits.
Ignore Charlie, most of us know that you'd prefer to slowly come to
recognise the usual culprits.
_____________________________________________________________
AlanB
joe hutcheon
In article <342F7E...@ntc.nokia.com>
Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com "Gareth Evans" writes:
> I saw one where they had a panel of around 25 switches for the lights.
> They could have everything from "switch on the bog light" to "Do me a
> timed run from the bedroom to the fridge and back again, including
> gentle fade ups and fade downs" to "fuck me there's an intruder in the
> house, light the place up like Blackpool illuminations" and I'm sitting
> there going "Yeah, that's really cool, but when I paint my windows, how
> do I stop getting gloss all over my glass, and what does that switch in
> my cupboard actually do?"
Put masking tape around the edges of your windows (TM). No more gloss paint
on glass woes!
As for that switch in your cupboard, it probably switches on Blackpool
Illuminations.
--
joe hutcheon
Gareth Evans
ABMagee wrote:
> > >Ahh. When I first saw it, it wasn't JoAnn (funny capitalisations, bu=
t,
> > >she's a yank, so I'll let her off) it was the other one. Robin
> > >SomethingorOtherWithLettersMissingInAGermanicWay.... Hartl or someth=
ing?
> >
> =
> I hope you don't mind perfect strangers butting in on your
> conversations, but I think
Fire away. This is important to me.
> you ought to know that JoAnn Leibler now has her own DIY show. It's
> called Home Savvy.
> Today she was talking about home stereos, home theatres, surroundsound,=
> stuff like that.
> She had an expert on to take "the mystery out of connecting your stereo=
> components."
> This involved some very mysterious patch cords (am I being sarcastic
> enough here?) which
> you had to connect to the "out" part of the receiver then to the "in"
> part of the
> cassette deck.
They always do that, don't they. Not content to have a tape player in
the back, they have to do recessed lighting and Bose speakers at $1000 a
pop (and they wire the entire house up to mantovani).
I saw one where they had a panel of around 25 switches for the lights.
They could have everything from "switch on the bog light" to "Do me a
timed run from the bedroom to the fridge and back again, including
gentle fade ups and fade downs" to "fuck me there's an intruder in the
house, light the place up like Blackpool illuminations" and I'm sitting
there going "Yeah, that's really cool, but when I paint my windows, how
do I stop getting gloss all over my glass, and what does that switch in
my cupboard actually do?"
> =
> This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
> transit into some
> kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
Shame. Still, it was entertaining nevertheless..
G - loves TLC girl
Michael Spooner
On 29 Sep 1997 12:00:35 GMT, cgru...@bradford.ac.uk (Vibrating Bum-Faced
Goats) wrote:
>Michael Spooner (spo...@cts.com) wrote:
>: Michael happy to have never encountered a nude man in this NG, but not so
>: sure about the free psychics.
>
>I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
>
>Chris, planter of mental images.
Yes indeed, thanks for leaving the camera off Chris.
Michael happy for no GIF.
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Alan Price (apr...@postern.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927231728.24029G-100000@mscs>, Kenneth
: Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes
: >
: >Maybe people don't use dictionaries as murder weapons much these days.
: >
: You could sharpen the edge of the OED CD-ROM and skim it at people with
: murderous intent? A bit like Xena, Warrior Princess does? Except in her
: case, I don't think it's a modified CD-ROM.
It's TV though isn't it? They have to use unmodified CD-ROM's so the kids
don't catch on and start copying it.
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Michael Spooner (spo...@cts.com) wrote:
: On Sun, 28 Sep 1997 23:57:00 -0300, ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> wrote:
: >This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
: >transit into some
: >kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
: >
: >Anne
: No Anne, you made it right past the nude men and free psychics and landed
: smack-dab in "What Are The Odds Ken?"
: Welcome to afba.
: Michael happy to have never encountered a nude man in this NG, but not so
: sure about the free psychics.
I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
Chris, planter of mental images.
--
Mark Johnson
The magnets on Sarah Eggleston's fridge spell:
>Otoh, if you do the girly thing and decide to make do with the
>back end of a tea-spoon in stead of buying a proper screwdriver,
I was still thinking about the bog roll thread when I was reading this.
>you do find out quite rapidly that decent tools make a difference.
>And have you ever tried changing a wheel with the manufacturer
>-supplied brace!!?? Not a lot of fun! I think there's a happy
>medium in there somewhere...
I'll tell you what's about as much use as a chocolate teapot! Those little
packets of wood glue you get in furniture from MFI.
--
Mark Johnson, Derby, UK
Why must we dial so speedily? Why must we rush through
life? We should savour the moments. Those are some huge
breasts you have! - Friends
Gareth Evans
Sarah Eggleston wrote:
> >
> > Tim: OK. Now I'll go to Sears and buy $200 worth of tools I don't
> > need so I can feel manly while I do it.
> >
> > My husband does the same thing.
> >
> Otoh, if you do the girly thing and decide to make do with the
> back end of a tea-spoon in stead of buying a proper screwdriver,
> you do find out quite rapidly that decent tools make a difference.
> And have you ever tried changing a wheel with the manufacturer
> -supplied brace!!?? Not a lot of fun! I think there's a happy
> medium in there somewhere...
I must be a girl then. I always make do when things stop working. Like
cupboards and back doors that swell in the winter...
G - not DIY girl
Alan Price
In article <Pine.GSO.3.96.970927231728.24029G-100000@mscs>, Kenneth
Butler <but...@mscs.dal.ca> writes
>
>Maybe people don't use dictionaries as murder weapons much these days.
>
You could sharpen the edge of the OED CD-ROM and skim it at people with
murderous intent? A bit like Xena, Warrior Princess does? Except in her
case, I don't think it's a modified CD-ROM.
BTW, who's the [Greek bard with a stammer] called Twickenham? Homer,
Euripides and the others I have heard of.
Ah! -Now- I know what to do with that pile of AOL CD-ROMs. Better than
spoiling the OED, anyway.
Francis Norton
In article <60o593$j...@squire.cen.brad.ac.uk>, Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
<cgru...@bradford.ac.uk> writes
>Michael Spooner (spo...@cts.com) wrote:
>: On Sun, 28 Sep 1997 23:57:00 -0300, ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> wrote:
>
>
>: >This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
>: >transit into some
>: >kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
>: >
>: >Anne
>
>: No Anne, you made it right past the nude men and free psychics and landed
>: smack-dab in "What Are The Odds Ken?"
>
>: Welcome to afba.
>
>: Michael happy to have never encountered a nude man in this NG, but not so
>: sure about the free psychics.
>
>I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
>
Francis, believes in an informal little smoking jacket for posting to
afb-a
--
Francis Norton
"I am a sundial. Ordinary words
cannot express my thoughts on Birds" - Hillaire Belloc
Gareth Evans
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats wrote:
> =
> I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
> =
my cow-orkers might be upset if I did the same
G - posted in lycra girl
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Kenneth Butler (but...@mscs.dal.ca) wrote:
: Word of the day:
: Paramatta: cotton dress material.
You put that one in for me didn't you?
Chris, who just receieved a copy of Parramatta v Manly from earlier this
season from a nice guy in Illawarra a week or so ago. One copy of the
1985 Wigan v Hull Cup Final is on its way to Illawarra right now.
Tribble
In alt.life.universe.everything Charlie Ball <cpb...@ic.ac.uk> wrote:
: In article ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> writes:
: >
: >I hope you don't mind perfect strangers butting in on your
: >conversations...
: No, we like that, actually. Welcome to afba, Anne.
And welcome to alue too!
--
Tribble Flibble
CD's?
C dose?
C dem?
Tracy T.
Mark Johnson <mark...@griffin.co.uk> wrote:
: I'll tell you what's about as much use as a chocolate teapot! Those little
: packets of wood glue you get in furniture from MFI.
A chocolate teapot could be tasty.
Speaking of chocolate tea, has anybody seen Karen Sexton recently?
Tracy, 2-track mind girl
Maggie
(Haplo) wrote:
>>
>>Chris, who just receieved a copy of Parramatta v Manly from earlier this
>>season from a nice guy in Illawarra a week or so ago.
>
>A rugby team called "Manly"? Love it!
>
I've been to Manly Beach.
It wasn't very.
--
He aha te mea nui o te ao?
He tangata, he tangata, he tangata
Gareth Evans
joe hutcheon wrote:
> =
> Put masking tape around the edges of your windows (TM). No more gloss =
paint
> on glass woes!
Come and show me how. Joe!
> =
> As for that switch in your cupboard, it probably switches on Blackpool
> Illuminations.
> =
Hmm. Last April they must have been might annoyed, cos I kept flicking
it on and off and then running round the house.
Since my leccy bill is 16 quid a month, I'd hazard a guess I'm not
paying for blackpool, but there's a light in the attic with a broken
bulb.....
Arse
G - going up into the attic this weekend girl
> --
> joe hutcheon
Gareth Evans
Haplo wrote:
> >It's not that small. Better than my last one. Someone had put floor to=
> >ceiling mirrored tiles in front of the bog. THe last thing you needed =
to
> >see on a Sunday morning after a curry.
> =
> I think that person may have had some rather unpleasant sexual
> fetishes.
>
G - not coprophilia girl
Gareth Evans
Maggie wrote:
> >
> =
> I've been to Manly Beach.
> =
> It wasn't very.
I was more impressed with Manly beach than Bondai.
G - Empty Beach girl
Sarah Eggleston
Francis Norton wrote:
>
> >I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
> >
>
birthday suit
> Francis, believes in an informal little smoking jacket for posting
> to afb-a
I prefer a sexy no-dad...
-Sarah
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Gareth Evans (Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com) wrote:
: Maggie wrote:
: > >
: > =
: > I've been to Manly Beach.
: > =
: > It wasn't very.
: I was more impressed with Manly beach than Bondai.
Bondai is near where Eastern Suburbs play, or where they used to play
anyway, and since Easts are the other team (apart from Manly) who buy up
all the good players from poorer clubs then they should be hated too.
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Gareth Evans (Gareth...@ntc.nokia.com) wrote:
: joe hutcheon wrote:
: > As for that switch in your cupboard, it probably switches on Blackpool
: > Illuminations.
: Hmm. Last April they must have been might annoyed, cos I kept flicking
: it on and off and then running round the house.
They aren't on in April. You were probably giving the guy that fits them
random electric shocks.
Alan Price
In article <mudcat-2809...@bothe.netuser.com>, Mudcat
<mud...@aamom.org> writes
>In article <342F18FC...@brunnet.net>, ABMagee <mag...@brunnet.net> wrote:
>
>
>> This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
>> transit into some
>> kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
>
>things tho.
>
What about perfectly strange ones?
Welcome to the group. Don't mind him. Or me. Or anything.
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Haplo (ha...@patryn.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <60o593$j...@squire.cen.brad.ac.uk>, Vibrating Bum-Faced
: Goats wibbled:
: >I have posted to afba whilst in the nude.
: >
: >Chris, planter of mental images.
: Can we have a more pleasant one next time, please?
: Were you at Odsal on Saturday night? Cos I was (and so was
: Cheffie)...
Speedway? No mate, I was in the Top House pub. The white one directly
over the main road from the stadium.
Mark Hillman
ha...@patryn.demon.co.uk (Haplo) sayethed...
>In article <60o593$j...@squire.cen.brad.ac.uk>, Vibrating Bum-Faced
>Goats wibbled:
>>Chris, planter of mental images.
>Were you at Odsal on Saturday night? Cos I was (and so was
>Cheffie)...
and was 'Groundskeeper Willie' happy after 30+ F1 stocks had mangled
his turf??
--
Markus...
A friend is only a friend until you sell him something...
then he is a customer...
[124th Rule Of Acquisition]
Maggie
Gareth Evans wrote:
>Maggie wrote:
>
>> >
>> =
>
>> I've been to Manly Beach.
>> =
>
>> It wasn't very.
>
>I was more impressed with Manly beach than Bondai.
That wouldn't be hard. Bondi is a kip.
Now Ninety Mile Beach is sommat else ... :-)
Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats
Haplo (ha...@patryn.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <60nnh5$d...@squire.cen.brad.ac.uk>, Vibrating Bum-Faced
: Goats wibbled:
: >Kenneth Butler (but...@mscs.dal.ca) wrote:
: >
: >: Word of the day:
: >: Paramatta: cotton dress material.
: >
: >You put that one in for me didn't you?
: >
: >Chris, who just receieved a copy of Parramatta v Manly from earlier this
: >season from a nice guy in Illawarra a week or so ago.
: A rugby team called "Manly"? Love it!
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles.
Manly is a suburb of Sydney. It's not so long since I followed up to a
post from some other RL fan on aus.sport.rugby-league when he said that
Manly had played like a bunch of women. No one else saw the funny side at
all! Bloody Australians, being upside all that time must have damaged
their brains or summfink.
Mudcat
In article <laW4$IAdCK...@postern.demon.co.uk>, Alan Price
<apr...@postern.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> In article <mudcat-2809...@bothe.netuser.com>, Mudcat
> <mud...@aamom.org> writes
> >In article <342F18FC...@brunnet.net>, ABMagee
<mag...@brunnet.net> wrote:
> >
> >
> >> This is my first post ever, so I apologize if it transmogrifies in
> >> transit into some
> >> kind of "Nude Naked Men" or "Free Psychics" message.
> >
> >We don't mind strange people at all. Perfect ones tend to get nailed to
> >things tho.
> >
> What about perfectly strange ones?
Sounds cool to me man.
>
> Welcome to the group. Don't mind him. Or me. Or anything.
quite right.
The traffic light mocks me.
--
mike at netuser dot com
Um Um Um Um Um Um
www dot netuser dot com/~mike
Alan Brand
ha...@patryn.demon.co.uk (Haplo) wrote:
>In article <60nnh5$d...@squire.cen.brad.ac.uk>, Vibrating Bum-Faced
>Goats wibbled:
>>Kenneth Butler (but...@mscs.dal.ca) wrote:
>>
>>: Word of the day:
>>: Paramatta: cotton dress material.
>>
>>You put that one in for me didn't you?
>>
>>Chris, who just receieved a copy of Parramatta v Manly from earlier this
>>season from a nice guy in Illawarra a week or so ago.
>A rugby team called "Manly"? Love it!
I know a bloke called Don Manly. He's from Yorkshire. 'Nuff said.
___________________________________________________
AlanB
Kenneth Butler
On 29 Sep 1997, Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats wrote:
> Kenneth Butler (but...@mscs.dal.ca) wrote:
>
> : Word of the day:
> : Paramatta: cotton dress material.
>
> You put that one in for me didn't you?
But of course.
> Chris, who just receieved a copy of Parramatta v Manly from earlier this
> season from a nice guy in Illawarra a week or so ago. One copy of the
> 1985 Wigan v Hull Cup Final is on its way to Illawarra right now.
So it'll be a bit of a shame, then, when you discover that British and
Australian video formats are different.
Ken.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ken Butler / but...@cs.dal.ca / http://is.dal.ca/~kbutler
Word of the day:
Stabile: stationary abstract sculpture similar to a mobile.
Gareth Evans
Sarah Eggleston wrote:
> And even I have been known to IRC occasionally in my
> birthday suit
I can't wear mine any more... It's starting to get all wrinkled.
> =
> > Francis, believes in an informal little smoking jacket for posting
> > to afb-a
> I prefer a sexy no-dad...
Charlie!
G - old git girl